#i don't just read about that stuff I watch recordings and documentaries and interviews as well

[scarefox]

This episode they really showed how Uea wants sex to distract himself to make the bad feelings go away for a while and King is the only safe option (not the best way of coping maybe atm but it gets better). Hope they will make him talk about it because I feel many in the audience still don’t understand the link between sex and comfort and coping especially for an abuse victim who always turns to it after triggering events (still think this part is more about the mom, cause whenever the stepdad is part of the trigger he can’t have sex or cuddles ... at least can’t enjoy it as we have seen in this episode). Shortly said, an orgasm gives you dopamine, and it’s all your mind and body focuses on in that moment. Reasons why this could end up in an addiction under the wrong circumstances. Under the right ones it can be therapeutic and have an antidepressant effect.

Uea is a bit torn with King. The caring side of King is an unexpected surprise for him every time. He doesn't really expect kindness from people. But he's glad whenever he receives it from people he trusts. Which King became a part of way too fast for Uea to admit (he’s a player after all). That’s why he rarely shows King his smiles when he’s fond of him. I think the cake scene was one of the rare moments he truly showed him this kind of vulnerability to him (him being truly happy, it’s a delicate feeling easily snatched away under his circumstances). He also took a long time to even understand that King really means it, that this birthday cake is really for him because King really wants to make him happy and he’s allowed to take it. I wonder if the little cake fight and unceremonial bite into the cake is an emotional defense from Uea to not get too deep into vulnerable emotions and turn it into fun / silly & sexy moment instead while still keeping the good vibe.

He’s not ready for an emotional bond with him yet when they clearly stated from the beginning this will just be about sex and they don’t even like each other (we all know that’s a lie). I suspect Uea has trust issues as well since his stepdad always acts nice, caring and misunderstood... so Uea needs a while to learn if people really mean it or if they just want something from him.

I bet that will become a big issue at some point, when they both think the other has no feelings while they secretly do have feelings. I fear Uea will push King away for a while when their feelings get clearer.

#bed friend the series #bed friend #ep4 #king x uea #here have another round of trauma and coping rumbling #the reason why I can understand Uea that well is because I also have a dysfunctional fam just not THAT bad (not physical) #and I got to a few bad people outside of my fam #I have a big urge almost a survival instinct to learn human behavior since childhood #as self-defense and to navigate through this world of neurotypicals as a neurodivergent person #I basically suck up everything about WHY humans do what they do. like criminals. what trauma does to you and how mental illnesses work etc #also all the psychology and science behind sex and sexuality (including k!nk and erotic) is a big topic for me #i don't just read about that stuff I watch recordings and documentaries and interviews as well #basically down to the core of fac.ial expressions and body language and thinking patterns #learned a few things from my therapist as well #not saying I am a certified specialist I just learned a few things through my life #and while this is obviously just a tv show they still did some research

[letters-to-lgbt-kids]

My dear lgbt+ kids,

Many years ago I watched a documentary about interabled couples (meaning that one partner is disabled, the other one isn't).

They interviewed multiple couples and asked how they met, what their friends and family think of the relationship, things like that. I don't remember most of it (I can't even tell you if it was an actual movie-length documentary or just a short piece in the local news) but there was one story that always stuck with me:

An autistic man had a crush on a woman he regularly saw at his doctor's office. So he decided to write her a letter. He wrote down a detailed description (if I recall correctly it was multiple pages long) of how their relationship could look like: date ideas that would be safe and enjoyable for him, situations in which he may require her support or help, possible communication struggles they may face and ideas on how to deal with them etc. The next time he saw her at the doctor's office, he handed her the letter. She read it, smiled and said "This says you can't go dancing with me because loud music overwhelms you. But I really love dancing. Could we dance at home if you are in control of the music volume?". He said "Yes" and she said "Okay, then let's do that"... and they have been a happy couple ever since.

I love that story. Honestly, I wish someone would come up to me and hand me a letter like that!

There are so many unspoken rules in the dating world that (neurotypical) people oftentimes just expect you to know and understand - especially the whole "be mysterious, play hard to get, don't scare people off by being too honest" stuff can be really confusing! His letter feels like an antidote to that. He clearly communicated his individual set of "rules" (boundaries, needs, wants). It may be my autism speaking, but this sounds like the ideal way to start a relationship for me: they were both on the same page from the get-go rather than having to guess what the other one wants.

As someone who has been rejected for being too honest and talking about boundaries too early, it feels comforting to me to know that someone did exactly that and was so successful with it.

I mentioned this old story to a friend a few days ago - and they didn't think it was cute. In fact, they were shocked and disgusted by it. That sounds incredibly toxic, they said. You can't just hand your partner a set of rules at the beginning of the relationship and demand they stick to them forever. Those things need to be an ongoing conversation that both partners get to contribute to. Love isn't a business contract that one person writes and the other just signs off on. Treating it like one is a red flag. And quite frankly, they'd feel super creeped out if a quasi-stranger wrote multiple pages about a relationship they didn't even agree to yet!

And you know what? I absolutely believe that my friend is right - and I also believe that I am right. It could be cute and it could be a red flag.

This goes for all kinds of relationships but it's especially important for those of us who have unique or less common "rules"/needs (which could be because you are neurodivergent, disabled or chronically ill but also be lgbt+-related, e.g because you are ace or aro): Doing things differently is not by default toxic - and not by default wholesome, either.

That letter could be a great starting point for healthy ongoing communication in a relationship... and it could also be toxic if it is used as a binding contract that doesn't allow any further conversation.

Apart from a few obvious exceptions, we can't really make a definite list of things that are always good or always toxic when it comes to dating/relationships - we need to think of things in context. And that goes for the "standard route" as well as for more unique approaches.

With all my love,

Your Tumblr Dad

(P.S: For the record, I'm sure that the couple in the documentary does have ongoing, healthy communication!)

#I think it's unlikely that any of you know the documentary since it was so long ago - but if it seems familiar I'd love to know the title! #lgbt #lgbt+

[honeydewtreacle]

Okay, I just went over the iceberg and I have found or heard of a large majority of the stuff on there. My main question is how did you discover all of this stuff he's been in?

My other question are as follows

What is "why don't we say..."?

Do you have any information on Everything is Fine? I wasn't able to find much at all besides a basic premise.

What is Love NY?

Did you find a video of him singing the national anthem? I read about it and an article from the SoR days, but I didn't find footage.

I know about everything on the third tire except "Megan"? UNLESS IT'S THAT MEGAN!!? In that case, we good 👍😳👀

Is On Your Marc the show he and Drew created that is going to show (I believe) off Broadway starting early next year ? The Life and Slimes of Marc Summers?

Wasn't able to find much on Slow Children either, so if you have any, that'd be awesome!

What is "I could use a drink" BTS? I know about Drew's show, but the BTS I'm not sure about.

BROdway? I searched it up and could find nothing.

Last I guess is how on earth did you find that Collage staging of Hair he did? That's a deep cut!

One thing to suggest be put on there if you want to add anything is Twilight in Manchego. I just found it today. Idk if you've already discovered it, but in case you haven't it's something he did in 2008 I believe. If you Google it, it should pop up. There are a few videos on YouTube and there's a Facebook page.

So happy to answer!! I found most of this just by watching interviews, he's mentioned a lot of the stuff he's done offhandedly, not all of it of course. Others I found just by googling around, theres this site that has extended credits which is helpful. But really a lot of this isn't too difficult to find, I have "I must know everything about this topic" hyperfixations if that gives any more context.

And I'll say right off the bat that I found out about Twilight in Manchego like a few days after I made the ice berg, so I'd definitely put it on there now. Another thing I'd probably add now would be the reading he did for Book of Mormon.

Okay, now onto that list!

- I meant "How come no one says.." the song by Brett Ryback, that's my bad, I consistently get the song name wrong for some reason. I added it to the list because Alex has sung it four times (thats been recorded [1, 2, 3, 4] CW for wildly ableist language) and I'm like 99.9999% sure its the song he references in this interview and I found that a bit amusing.

- For both Everything is Fine and Slow Children, I only know what Alex has said in interviews. I don't have specific links, nor the time to rewatch a bunch of stuff right now, but I believe he talks about both of them briefly in this podcast with Drew if I'm remembering correctly. (I'm super sorry if I'm wrong!!)

- Love, NY was a show he did a reading for at the New World Stages, here's a playlist of the some the performance. He plays a character named Benjamin (Benji).

- No!! I never found a national anthem video, drives me up a damn wall honestly, you'd think something like that would be documented but I've had zero luck finding anything.

- I definitely mean that Megan yes. I thought it'd be funny.

- Kinda! On Your Marc is the documentary they did about the show. It was screened at a few conventions from what I know. It's listed on Alex's imdb.

- There's this fun article about the recording of the album, including a video which is broken in the article (had to check their Flickr to find it) so here's that.

- It's just a YouTube video! But it's a bit hard to search because of the pun, so here's that.

- I found it because F mentioned it in this show, I thought it was hilarious and I immediately had to find it.

Thank you for asking!! I will answer the other one soon, but I'm out right now. ^v^

#brightyberg #alex brightman #brighty

[cherriesonaversatile]

The Kills' new stuff?

I've been a fan of the Kills since Blood Pressures was released (eons ago, really). My partner got into them when Midnight Boom was around. I was really obsessed with them and now I pick them up with massive nostalgia because well, the sound and factually the aura, feel, the whole will they/did they/etc shenanigans really tied the whole image together, even if they dropped it. But watching documentaries like I Hate The Way You Love, french documentaries, long interviews, old recorded gigs and trying to figure out things even if it's their own lives, they had their own mystique around them.

They were very cool. It wasn't that they gave more interviews then, it was that they knew what to say, they knew what not to say, it was natural for them. Now it feels like a forced recipe in the music, which is really sad. I knew Jamie had talked about straying from guitars quite a while now, but it's sad to properly witness it in the tracks we've seen.

I'm happy that Alison is more comfortable and found love with Damian Lewis, I'm sure everyone is very very happy for her and bless that! Seriously, I grin from ear to ear. They look very sweet with one another.

I don't think that strained The Kills though, but Jamie had always been behind steering the wheel behind the scenes, so it really feels like he's lost interest in making guitar music. I know obviously they've grown, but as corny as it is we need to address that this feels like a "Little Room" situation, which most know is a The White Stripes song (c'mon, we're the same fandom practically). Jamie talked about it in length of how brilliant it was and how relatable it was. The Kills played in a closet space while they were getting on track before Keep on your Mean Side and starting the band. And now obviously they've gotten far more creative space and recognition, but it feels like they're doing it to do it.

I'm probably bias as hell, but I love the whole raw energy and strict bare sound that they had in the beginning, as well as Jamie's former projects like Scarfo and Fiji, which really focused on talking about poverty, being low on the ladder, crime and unattainable things. Now all of that is achieved and they did sort of feel like they missed the old days (hence the massive rehashes of polaroids from their first US tour and releasing Dream & Drive). It was fascinating to dig into their musical influences, hear Jamie read Kerouac, how they bonded over Andy Warhol and Edie Sedgewick, Jamie showing Alison The Velvet Underground and PJ Harvey, talking about Sonic Youth.

I don't get the same vibe from Rihanna fan talk and the current music they enjoy. I'm not saying your influences have to be very seen in your music, but here it feels very bland, imo.

And regarding to the controversial album cover of "God Games" I saw it, I was a bit surprised that it was very very... meh and I was just even more underwhelmed since the songs are very very bland to me, so bland songs, bland album. I'm not entirely sure what they wanted to say with it, I know they stopped being vegans eons ago or stand up for animal rights, and not saying that only vegans care about animal rights! But it does feel like a quick note on "hey, this is our interpretation which is xyz" as a simple reply anywhere would make more sense than running to make some stupid drama of are they supporting bullfighting and what is this shit get the album some attention. Meh.

#jamie hince #the kills #alison mosshart #god games

[greensparty]

Talking with Michael Azerrad

One of my favorite music journalists of the early 90s is Michael Azerrad. He was writing for MTV News and Rolling Stone at the exact moment of the alt-rock revolution. His Rolling Stone cover story on Nirvana was an impressive look at the band just as Nevermind had dethroned Michael Jackson at #1 on the album charts a few weeks earlier. This lead to Kurt Cobain and Courtney Love asking Azerrad to write an official book about the band. Over the course of six months, he conducted over 25 hours of interviews with Cobain, Kris Novoselic and Dave Grohl. That book Come As You Are: The Story of Nirvana was released in October 1993. I read that book when it came out and loved it. After Cobain's death in April 1994, this was considered by many to be one of the most comprehensive books about him and his band. Cobain himself even named it one of the best rock books he had ever read. To celebrate the 30th anniversary of this book, Harper Collins is releasing The Amplified Come As You Are: The Story of Nirvana, in which Azerrad has revisited his book and expanded on it. I recently caught up with Mr. Azerrad via email to discuss his book.

Azerrad today

Me: In Oct. 1993, I was in high school and knee deep in Nirvana. At a time when I needed to read multiple books for school, I picked up Come As You Are and devoured it! In Utero has just been released and I was really into your deep dive in the band, which contained over 25 hours of interviews with Kurt Cobain alone. How did it feel to know that your book (not just Nirvana) has lasted way past 1993?

MA: Basically, I feel honored: honored by all the people around the world who have bought the book all these years, honored when Come as You Are: The Story of Nirvana winds up on "best rock books" lists, and honored that the band trusted me to tell their story.

The thing is, there are many readers who were born well after Come as You Are first came out.  Which blows my mind — I never anticipated that.  In the '90s, when Nirvana existed, all kinds of things were different — so there's probably all kinds of stuff in the book that people who weren't around at the time don't understand, or want to know more about.  So, to a great degree, this new edition of the book, The Amplified Come as You Are: The Story of Nirvana, is for them.  But it's also for people who *were* around then and are *still* trying to make sense of what happened.  And that very much includes me!

Me: In 2007, I attended a screening in NYC at the IFC Center of the documentary Kurt Cobain About a Son, a documentary based on your interview recordings and you did a Q&A. I wouldn’t say that we met, but I did get to ask you a question and you were very cool! Since that doc, there has been a number of documentaries including Brett Morgen’s Montage of Heck documentary as well. Could there be another doc of your recordings?

 MA: I remember that was a good Q&A — thanks for contributing to it!  We used all the best stuff in Kurt Cobain About a Son, so I don't think there will be a sequel or anything.  I recommend that anyone reading this interview should watch the movie and pay close attention to Kurt's words.

book cover

Me: What made you want to revisit your book from 1993?

MA: There's a thing about writers: as soon as we hit "send" on a piece or a book, we immediately start to have second thoughts or ideas for improvements.  For years, I thought about little things I'd change or "amplify" about Come as You Are.  Then the pandemic hit.  That was a golden opportunity to revisit the book and just jot down a few things I'd always wanted to expound on a bit.  So while everybody else was perfecting their sourdough recipe or learning Italian, I was annotating my own book.  And it turned out there was so much to say!  That's because Nirvana tapped into a lot of things that were happening in the '90s: not just music but politics, generational movements, drugs, and so on.  I think The Amplified Come as You Are makes some really interesting connections, fills in some context for the entire Nirvana phenomenon, and provides some insights into the members of the band, especially Kurt.

Azerrad with Frances Bean Cobain and Kurt Cobain in 1993

Me: Since Kurt Cobain’s passing in 1994 and the demise of the band, there have been a few footnotes in the bands history: some live and compilation releases (including 2021's Nevermind 30th anniversary edition), lawsuits (between Courtney Love and the band in the early '00s and more recently baby model Spencer Elden suing the band), and the band being inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 2014. Were you interested in exploring anything after 1994 for this Amplified edition?

MA: I didn't just disappear from Nirvana World after I finished writing the book — I stayed in touch with them almost to the end, traveled with them on the last US tour and things, so The Amplified Come as You Are has a lot to say about those experiences.  That last part was the hardest, because those things affected me very deeply.

Me: Beyond Nirvana, you also wrote Our Band Could Be Your Life, which profiled various bands that paved the way for Nirvana and the alt-rock movement in the 90s. Could there be an Amplified version of that book?

MA: Ha, wow, that would be an even bigger project.  I'll think about it!

For info on The Amplified Come As You Are

#michael azerrad #the amplified come as you are: the story of nirvana #come as you are #nirvana #interview #books #kurt cobain #krist novoselic #dave grohl #courtney love #kurt cobain: about a son #our band could be your life #music nerd

[escapeinpapers]

Book review: DAISY JONES & THE SIX by Taylor Jenkins Reid

"It is what I have always loved about music. Not the sounds or the crowds or the good times as much as the words—the emotions, and the stories, the truth—that you can let flow right out of your mouth. Music can dig, you know? It can take a shovel to your chest and just start digging until it hits something."

Plot: Written in a oral history format and set in the mid '60s to the late '70s, this book basically tells the story of how the popular rock band Daisy Jones & The Six was formed, rose to stardom and why the broke up. Daisy got the attention of many people at a young age because of her good looks, incredible voice and wild personality. She started to make a name for herself in the Sunset Strip while hooking up with rock stars, getting drunk and high. Billy Dunne and his band, were also getting attention at the same time and got signed into a record label. They became so well known as The Six. Later on, Billy found out that his girlfriend got pregnant and the pressure building up to become a father drove him insane and wild while on tour. Daisy Jones & The Six crossed paths due to a producer who believed that a collab would make them better and more popular. This led to Daisy officially joining the band. From that moment, everybody new that Diasy Jones & The Six was an icon of rock 'n roll. But in the middle of promoting their album "Aurora", the band had suddenly split.

Thoughts: I was in a reading slump and I wanna get out so badly so I tried reading several books that might really hold my attention. And yes, Daisy Jones & The Six absolutely did not just steal my attention but also my heart. I fell inlove with this book without even knowing. This is my first 5 star read for the month of June. Reading this felt like watching a documentary and I'm so hooked to the story. (Btw, this is soon to be a motion picture and Sam Claflin is playing Billy Dunne)

What I love:

1. The writing format. I've seen a lot of comments that they didn't like this book because of the way its written in interview format. I totally disagree because I think it is the charm of this book. It rather made it unique and so refreshing to read and the story felt much more alive. I was really into believing that they were real people. I didnt know that I'd be this attached to these characters that I wished they were just real.

2. The rock 'n roll. I really enjoyed the era of where the story was set and it was beautifully portrayed. The writing was so good and it felt so atmospheric. I really imagined the scenes vividly from the song writing, album production, photoshoots to the stage performances and even to their outfits ( I love Daisy's outfits so much, her signature hoop earings and braless tops are just 11/10). I swear, It is a freaking great rock 'n roll. Again, it felt so REAL! I can't believe I'm fangirling over a fiction band.

3. The romance. This is where all the TEA is dropping. The romance of the second lead couple was also just good as the main. But the main couple, the love triangle... It was just a wild ride. I was tensed everytime there are forbidden interactions like I just wanna ship them but then again I know it was wrong. I wanted them to stop but I wanted them to be together. You get me? Frustrating right? I don't want to say more on this aspect because if you'll be reading this book, I also want you to suffer the way I did. *evil laugh*

4. Badass female characters. I absolutely love how strong and dynamic the female characters in this story. No petty damsel in distress scenes. The feminism portrayed in this book was so influencing that it made me feel good about myself. Daisy is just my spirit animal. Though she'd been struggling with drug addiction, the way she carries herself, her confidence, her passion towards music were inspiring. Here are some of my favorite lines of her.

"That’s how it was back then. I was just supposed to be the inspiration for some man’s great idea. Well, fuck that. That’s why I started writing my own stuff."

" I had absolutely no interest in being somebody else’s muse. I am not a muse. I am the somebody"

"It’s not my responsibility to not turn them on. It’s their responsibility to not be an asshole."

What I don't love:

I think I don't have any issues with this book aside from the ending. It wasn't impactful as I expected it to be.

Recommending to:

1. Everyone! Especially those who love music and rock 'n roll.

(Trigger warning: alcohol addiction, drug use and abuse & abortion)

Rating: 5/5

#book review #daisy jones & the six #taylor jenkins reid #rock and roll #music #'70s band