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lightrises · 3 years

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"Only in allowing her to pass..." — Hornet, The Radiance, and the means by which Hallownest turned its victims against each other

A quick note: I read Hollow Knight as an anti-colonialist text. As such I'll be touching on topics related to colonialism as it's depicted in the world of the game, and said analysis will reflect both a sympathetic take on The Radiance and a critique of The Pale King that won't pull its punches. If this sounds up your alley, hello and thank you for the read! Let us be sad about these bugs together.

———

So!! A while back I realized something about pre-canon that felt rather... "curious" is one way to put it, I think. To wit: for all the effort and scheming and determination The Pale King poured into trying to get rid of The Radiance, neither of his plans involved directly killing her.

Was that his long game? Well, sure, that seems clear enough. His tack changed from luring the moths away from their god and creator to a more literal form of incarceration once the infection became a factor, but at its core the end goal never really changed—The Pale King very sincerely wished to destroy Radiance via obsolescence. The Seer lends us foreshadowing to confirm as much:

[Image descriptions: Two screenshots from Hollow Knight, showing the Seer and Ghost in the Seer's alcove at the Resting Grounds. Across both screenshots, the Seer tells Ghost the following: "None of us can live forever, and so we ask those who survive to remember us. Hold something in your mind and it lives on with you, but forget it and you seal it away forever. That is the only death that matters." End description.]

(Which, by the way and given the context, talk about an extremely unsubtle allusion to cultural genocide huh!!! Whew.)

In any case, we're left with a whole bunch of machinations which build up to... well, two very roundabout attempts at committing deicide. That's kind of weird, all things considered! Why not just do the deed in one fell swoop and get it over with?

This could be for any number of reasons. Maybe the king was devoid of the means to instantly kill another higher being. Maybe his personal sense of scruples stopped him short of signing off on MURDER murder (although, y'know, the aforementioned genocide + eternal imprisonment = still cool and copasectic apparently!). Maybe the long drawn-out cruelty was the point. Maybe the idea of playing fuckign 4D chess with the circumstances was too delicious for him to pass up—that man did love to tinker and stick his claws where they sure as hell didn't belong—or maybe it was a little bit of All The Things. Who knows!!

But interrogating The Pale King's methodology on this count isn't what I'm here for, at least not really. The main reason I raise this question at all is that in her own way, Hornet did too.

"I'd urge you to take that harder path... "

See, going by The Pale King's actions and what The White Lady explicitly says, they both foresaw two outcomes wrt the infection: it can be allowed to spread, or it can be contained. At Teacher's Archives, Quirrel acknowledges the fact that Ghost is expected to do... something about this, but he doesn't elaborate on what HE thinks that's supposed to be apart from the obvious "Gotta bust into Black Egg Temple first". Hornet is the one person who presents to us—to Ghost—what's framed as a third option: confront and destroy the infection at its source.

And she doesn't bring it up like it's just another tactic for Ghost to consider, prim and indifferent to what they would do. She nudges them towards it, actively, up to the point where she throws herself into the fray against Hollow at a juncture that's uniquely dangerous to her and her alone just to make that option feasible.

Even when she's couching it in disclaimers that this is still Ghost's decision to make (and let's be fair, she's extremely not wrong about that lol), no one can pretend Hornet is unbiased. It's obvious in that buttoned-down Hornet kind of way that she is way the hell done with the increasingly tenuous stalemate that's kept Hallownest's desiccated corpse from collapsing in on itself. Personally it's hard for me not to read some Toriel Undertale-esque "My father was too entrenched in his own foolishness to pursue any course of action that would have DEFINITIVELY ended this" shade into her stance here, regardless of whether that's strictly true in canon.

And that bit—Hornet's hopes for an end to Hallownest's stasis, moreover her grim calculation of what needs to be done to get there—that's the bit I find super interesting but likewise tragic and depressing as shit, on multiple levels. In no small part because a) canon itself gestures towards Hornet feeling conflicted about the very plan she's pushing, and moreover b) she has at least two (2) damn good reasons to feel that way.

So, what do I mean by that? Let's look here first:

[Image description: A screenshot from Hollow Knight, of Hornet and Ghost inside the Temple of the Black Egg, standing in front of the unsealed egg itself. Hornet has been struck by the Dream Nail and her dialogue is displayed as follows: "... Could it achieve that impossible thing? Should it?" End description.]

As the curtain is about to drop on things one way or another, Hornet thinks,

... Could it achieve that impossible thing? Should it?

Now, looking at that last bit it's easy to go "Oh no, Hornet's worried that Ghost won't survive killing The Radiance!" And I do think that's part of it: Hornet is, categorically, not her father. By endgame it's clear she's not content to view her Void-borne siblings as tools to be used then disposed of. She's also well aware that as a healthy autonomous Vessel amongst the countless dead, Ghost is the only person left alive who has a fighting chance against The Radiance. Knowing someone is the only qualified candidate for the job doesn't make encouraging them to embrace a probable death sentence any less of a bitter pill to swallow, though. And odds are on that this sentiment extends to Hollow too, who IS going to die no matter what happens here. To put it bluntly, it's more than reasonable to conclude that Hornet hates the absolute fuck out of this.

But I don't think that's all there is to it either. Remember what I said earlier about The Pale King's bids for genocide? Well, it's not like the man deigned to limit his efforts to just the moth tribe.

"We do not choose our mothers... "

On top of everything else—an infected Hallownest being all she's ever known, the fact that she only exists because of the infection, the list goes on—Hornet has spent her life wedged into a position that's been uncomfortable and terminally unglamorous at best: she is both a daughter of her father's kingdom and of Deepnest.

Deepnest, which like the moths and many others was here long before the wyrm and his lady wife swanned onto the scene and the God Become Bug laid claim to everything the Light touched plus a considerable amount of change. THAT Deepnest, which has fought claw and thread to retain its sovereignty against same-said settler king, and for which Herrah not only surrendered her life but also agreed to bed her worst enemy, all in hopes of securing a viable future for her people (put a pin in that last part by the way, I'll come back to it soon).

Two Worlds, One Family (Ft. An Indigenous Woman Trying Her Damndest To Work With What She's Got Versus An Imperialist Who Only Signed Up For This Because He Needed The Political Favor THAT Badly, So It's The Height Of Dysfunctional Actually). Fun times!!!!

The baggage this entails for Hornet is gnarly enough without implications made by The White Lady and the pre-canon timeline of events and even Team Cherry's dev notes that the king may well have looked at baby Hornet, gone "YOINK", then ensured she spent the lion's share of her childhood reared within the pearly auspices of his Pale Court*. That would be rather advantageous for Him Specifically after all, the potential to mold a born foe into a future ally and even have her trained in combat under the same tutelage as her doomed sibling. And far be it from him to stop a grown Hornet—his own flesh and blood too!—from making Deepnest her forever home if she so pleased. He totally wouldn't be reneging on his "fair bargain made" by doing this one simple thing until Hornet came of age, not t e c h nic c a l l y.

If that is indeed the case, there's a non-zero chance Hornet's formative years were a hot mess of cultural alienation and being a good deal more privy than most to just how much of a bastard her father could be. There's an equally non-zero chance that at some point she stood or sat within earshot as The Pale King finally, finally dropped all pretense and euphemism to name the Light for precisely what (for who) it was.

See, in conjunction with the question that started this whole dang train of thought I've been asking this one too: Does Hornet know? When she speaks of confronting "the heart of [the] infection" does she know she's talking about not just a literal person but someone very specific? The Radiance, who god though she may be shares skin in the game alongside Hornet as a native woman screwed over by the same settler king, likewise deprived of her kin and saddled with a life gone horrendously pear-shaped?

I'll assume for the sake of exploring the possibility and because I think it's a likely one anyway that yes, Hornet does know. She knows, and despite everything can't help empathizing. She might even look at Radiance and see bits and pieces both reflected and slightly inversed in her own mother: Radiance was forced to the sidelines while her people—her children, the brood she was meant to lead and care for—died out under The Pale King's rule, and it's no stretch to assume she's at least as upset about that as she has been about everything else; Herrah too took drastic measures for her people's sake, trying to head off annihilation by relegating herself to the sidelines in an act that was as much calculated risk as an attempt to find wiggle room and leverage in the face of a nasty proposition.

A calculated risk that, if things continue as they are, might well amount to nothing as the rest of Deepnest gets eaten alive by the infection. It survived The Pale King's advances for so so long, only to fall here. Herrah's sacrifice would be for naught; the other tribes—themselves the king's victims—would keep succumbing to the infection too.

And this is where things fall apart.

"... or the circumstance into which we are born."

Let's be clear: I think Hornet is wise enough to know what's what here, that all the carnage and suffering falls on her father's head for starting this slow-motion trainwreck in the first place. Hallownest wasn't always Hallownest. This domain was Radiance's home first, along with many others. It was the worm-turned-king who rolled up on the scene unsolicited and decided this was a ""'problem""" that had to be """solved""".

But the fact of the matter is that he's gone and The Radiance is here, raging, seemingly inconsolable. Above and beyond being Deepnest's rightful heir, Hornet isn't in a position to countenance more splash damage even if the grief and fury fueling it makes perfect sense. She can understand without ever bringing herself to love Radiance, and she can bend her knee to practicality even if she hates the everloving shit out of it because the fact that it "has" to end this way isn't fair.

This lends itself to one last awful conclusion: that Hornet has probably considered and (rightly or wrongly) discarded the possibility that Radiance can be saved, at least not without dragging more collateral along for the ride. If even her mother and every other enemy to the king seemed to dismiss talking Radiance down as an option way back when... well. Why should Hornet hope for any better after things have escalated so far?

Again, it's practical. A practical net good is what Hornet strives for. And again, it fucking sucks.

For extra tragedy points, this makes Hornet's extended crypticness around Ghost followed by her last minute casting about for a reason to tell them "Wait, don't; not just yet" that she never voices even more of a gut punch. She can't bring herself to burden Ghost with the context that haunts her so, least of all when it might weaken their resolve to go through with what (she thinks) needs doing.

It's the "same song, different verse" which led to the mantis tribe and Deepnest being pitted against each other: Hallownest rigged the game so that two women who could have been powerful allies—who have a mutual vested interest in driving out settler rule—wound up poised as enemies instead. And how awful is that? The king for all his being extremely fucking dead still gets the last laugh, because outside of a miracle the game never manifests Hornet can salvage what her mother started and look forward to a future where Deepnest pulls itself back from the brink if and only if The Radiance dies.

Resolution comes at the price of a completed genocide. Add two more dead siblings to the unconscionable pile thereof, while we're at it. That's what it boils down to whether or not Hornet can bear to articulate it as such, and there's no grace or even a properly bittersweet ending to wring from this clusterfuck. And that is rough.

———

* This has been better explained elsewhere, but a quick rundown: The White Lady tells Ghost that Hornet and Herrah "were permitted little time together." On its surface this can be taken to mean that Hornet was still very young when Herrah was shipped off to Eternal Dreamland—except this doesn't jive with the fact that we meet Hornet as an adult. If the stasis kicked in once the Dreamers went to their rest, which in turn halted the aging process for every living bug in Hallownest, AND before all this Hornet experienced little by the way of quality time with her birth mother... I think you can see where I'm going with this.

To top it off we've got Team Cherry weighing in ominously from their dev notes on Herrah: "As part of the agreement for her alliance and her role as a dreamer, King gave her a child (Hornet). Was she allowed to keep this child or was she taken away?" This isn't confirmation by itself of course, but given additional canon details (see above): Can I get a "yikes" in the chat fellas.

#hollow knight #hornet (hollow knight)#hornet hollow knight #hk hornet #the radiance #hk radiance #herrah #hk herrah #hollow knight meta #sup folks it's been a minute since i dropped a whole dang essay but Here We Go!!!!!!

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sillyrabbit81 · 3 years

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Her Heavy Cross

Summary: Three years after tragedy hits, Lana she decides to start dating again. She meets Will through a dating app and they begin an online romance. After months of constant requests, Lana relents and agrees to meet and go on an irl date with Will. But is Will who he says he is? Lana is quickly pulled into an intense relationship forcing her to confront her tragic past. Will Lana face it or will she close her heart forever?

Pairing: OMC x OFC

Word Count: approx 2.7k

Warnings: swearing, angst, drunk, motion of death

Authors Note: The story started as a Henry Cavill fanfiction but I changed it to be an original character, but shades of Henry are still there. Hope you enjoy the story and thanks for reading.

Part 2 Part 4

Part 3

In less than ten minutes, we had pulled up to Liam's house. Liam paid for the taxi too. I kind of argued this time, but he pointed out he asked me to his house. I didn't get too stubborn about it.

Liam was living in a four-story terrace house, recently renovated by the looks of it. It was painted white with black wrought iron lacework, and it was beautiful. The front door and windows were painted black. It appeared to be the twin of the house that shared its wall.

We entered through the dining room, and I realised it was actually the two houses renovated together. The inside was modern with original heritage touches. The floors were light timber, and the walls were white. The ceilings had plaster and cornice so beautifully ornate that restoration must have taken ages. The room had an imposing black marble fireplace and a deep brown, almost black wooden dining table set on a grey shag rug in the room's centre. A huge abstract painting of bright pinks, greens and grey hung on the wall.

"Wow, this must have cost a mint!" I quickly covered my mouth. "I'm sorry, that was rude of me."

"It's ok. I was pleasantly surprised by the house too. The studio got the house for me I...." Liam was interrupted by a massive dog bounding into the room.

Liam got down and roughhoused with the dog for a bit. Wow, he was a monster! I'd seen a picture of Cole before that "Will" had sent me, but I wasn't quite prepared for how big he was. He was almost completely black with some brown above his eyes and ears. His paws were brown too, and his belly was grey. He wasn't any particular breed, apparently a rescue dog. I thought of my bull terrier cross cattle dog at home. This dog would eat him for breakfast, and Perrin wasn't small.

Cole's pink tongue lolled, and he panted as Liam moved from side to side. Cole imitated Liam's actions jumping about. He barked a couple of times as he got excited by the play. The noise reverberated through the quiet house.

"Shhh, Cole, people are sleeping." Liam softly admonished. Then his voice became stern. "Sit," he ordered before patting him. Liam looked at me and said, "Lana, this is Cole. Cole, Lana."

"Hi, Cole. You're much bigger in person." I could hear the slight tremor in my voice. Liam must have sensed I was nervous and came over to stand near me. Cole padded over and sniffed at me. Gingerly, I put my hand by my side and let him approach me. Cole nuzzled my hand, and I gave him a pat on the side of his neck. I let out a sigh of relief.

"I was worried he wouldn't like me. I love dogs but always get nervous around new ones." Liam put his head to the side, asking a silent question. "I had a dingo go me one time, and I've never really gotten over it." I squatted down and gave Cole more pats. "I think this guy is ok, though."

"Yeah, he's a good boy. How is Perrin, by the way?"

"He's ok." I sighed, "he's just old. The poor little guy can't get onto my bed anymore and sleeps in my lounge room now. I kinda miss it, but I have slept a bit better."

Liam gave Cole some more pats and told him to go sit. "Come on. I'll make you a tea or coffee if you'd like." I agreed a coffee would be perfect right now. I needed something to sober me up.

I sat at the kitchen bench while Liam made coffees. Cole sat by my stool, and I patted his head while watching Liam. Liam had kicked off his shoes and was walking around in his bare feet. It was amazing to see him so much more relaxed here than while we were out. He really did appear to enjoy being at home.

As Liam made our coffee, he moved with a grace that surprised me. His movements seemed economical and rigid but hinted at the power beneath them. He seemed coiled and ready to explode at any moment. It was like he was dancing the pasodoble, his body moving to an invisible beat. Images of Strictly Ballroom came into my mind, and I found myself humming Love is in the Air. I was drunker than I thought.

When Liam was done, he led me over to his large L shaped lounge, and I sat. Liam flopped down next to me, casually laying back and popped his feet up on the coffee table. Cole sat on a mat that was clearly his.

I sipped my coffee, not knowing what else to do. Suddenly the quiet between Liam and I felt awkward.

Liam and I spoke at the same time, "What.." "So..."

We both laughed. Liam indicated I should proceed. "Well, I was going to ask what brought you out to Sydney, for real, not the Will answer."

"A new project. I'm going to be filming a television show." Liam proceeded to tell me about his project, working with some people from Netflix on a fantasy/sci-fi series adaptation. He was so animated when telling me that it was obvious that he loved his job.

It would be his first television series and was to be more romance heavy than anything he had done in years. Liam explained that he is filming here because the story was written and developed in Australia. "If it works out, I'll probably be based out of Australia for the next few years. I'll go home to England for a few months during breaks, maybe do some small film roles. It's hard with Cole, though, because every trip into Australia means 10 days quarantine for him."

"Oh yeah, and you don't want a Pistol and Boo situation." Liam looked confused, and I explained about Amber Heard and Johnny Depp smuggling their dogs into Australia.

"I thought you said you don't follow celebrity gossip."

"I don't, but that was big news, hilarious really. It was on every bit of media in Australia, and then they had to make this cringe video apology. I almost felt bad for them." Then I yawned, suddenly all the alcohol had lost its buzz, and I was just tired. "The coffee doesn't seem to be doing its job. What time is it?"

Liam looked at his watch, "11.30."

"Yeah, it's late. I should get home. I don't want to turn into a pumpkin." I cringed. Fuck.

"You don't have to go. You could stay here." I raised my eyebrows. "I do have more than one bed if that's what you want." Liam leaned over to me and placed a hand on my cheek, rubbing his thumb against my skin.

I looked at my nearly empty coffee mug. I swirled the dregs around the bottom as if it were tea leaves, and they would tell me what to do. "I don't want to go home yet, but I don't want to go too fast, either."

"That's ok."

I didn't move. I wanted to stay. Ten years ago, I would have stayed, but Andy's face flashed into my thoughts. I knew it was ridiculous. Andy had been gone for over three years now. But every time I even contemplated being with someone, I couldn't stop thinking about him.

Liam was waiting for an answer, but I didn't know what to tell him. 'It's not you, it's me' is such a tired cliche, but sometimes it's true.

"Lana, it's ok. If you want to go home, that's absolutely fine. I'll even call you an Uber."

I felt my eyes sting, and I looked away from Liam. My bloody traitorous tear ducts giving me away. I shouldn't have drunk so much. Alcohol always makes me emotional.

"Fuck." I swore under my breath. I angrily wiped at my eyes, thankful I had used waterproof mascara. My eyeliner was a different story, though, and black streaked my fingers. I asked Liam where his bathroom was, and I got up, only half listening to his directions. I found it quickly. It was only through the doorway into a little enclave with a powder room, stairs and a lift. What kind of bloody house has a lift?

I closed the door and sat on the toilet seat. I knew enough not to try to stop the tears, so I just let them go. Bloody hell, Andy. Why did he fucking have to leave me? Why the fuck did you have to fucking die. Goddammit. Why do I do this to myself? Why do I do this to Andy? I wanted to scream, to punch something, to throw something. I needed another cigarette. Fuck you, Andy. Fuck you. Fuck me. Fuck Liam.

As I always did when I thought of Andy, I remembered the last time I saw him. His sweet face looked down at me as he kissed me goodbye. His deep brown hair fell like a curtain around us, hiding our kiss from the world. Cheekily I had slipped my tongue into his mouth, and he had groaned as he pulled away. He told me to save it for when he got back and would be as quick as he could be. I had thanked him for filling in for me. He winked and said to thank him later. Then he left.

When I was able to, I started to take deep breaths. In through my nose, out through my mouth. I could feel the tightness in my chest slowly ease. Breathing became more comfortable, and the tears stopped. I looked at my hands, and I was able to release the fists I was making. My nails hadn't broken the skin this time, but small red crescents remained etched into my palms.

I waited a few minutes longer to make sure the moment had passed. It wasn't Andy's fault he died, and I knew that. It's also not my fault that I wanted someone to love again. Sleeping with someone other than Andy felt like crossing the Rubicon, no going back.

The fact was there is no going back, no Andy to go back to, even if I wanted. In my head, it still felt like a betrayal. But it wasn't. And Liam wasn't just anybody. He was a guy I had spent weeks talking to, getting to know, and although he looks different, he is still acting as I had expected. I saw a potential future here. Did I really want to let my past ruin it?

I cleared my throat and stood up, preparing myself to see the horror that looked back at me. Ugh, it wasn't great. My eyeliner had given me panda eyes, and the tears had created streaks down my cheeks.

Getting a tissue and blew my nose, and decided there was nothing else for it, I washed my makeup off my face. I avoided washing my eye makeup off though, that was a mess I just didn't have the products for, so I just wiped under my eyes and cleaned it up. I binned my tissues, washed my hands, took a few more deep breaths and prepared myself to face Liam.

I opened the door and walked straight into something solid that made me bounce back into the bathroom like a tennis ball. Hands caught me before I hit the floor, and I found myself in Liam's arms.

"I'm sorry, did I hurt you?" He asked.

"No," I was flustered again. I spent all that time calming down to just be in a state two seconds later. "I just didn't expect you to be outside the door. Jesus, you're like a brick shit house."

Liam didn't laugh. "I was worried about you."

"I'm fine," I lied.

Liam didn't look convinced. He let me go and ran a hand through his hair. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not right now."

Liam nodded. "I'll get you that Uber." He pulled his phone out.

That's it then. All in all, it wasn't the worst date I'd been on since Andy died. Actually, it was probably the best. Liam, at least, was a guy I was attracted to and didn't appear to be a man child. He seemed to like me, even when I cried over another man. Although I doubt Liam knew that's why I was crying. I had told him I was married before and he had died, but that was only once and a long time ago, and we hadn't discussed it again.

The tears had done their job, and a calmness came over me now. I had said goodbye to Andy, and I was ready to take that last step to move on. That was why I started to date again; to open my heart, I was ready.

I put my hand on Liam's wrist, "if you still want me to, I'd like to stay."

"Are you sure? I probably shouldn't have asked in the first place. I let my other head think for me." Though I laughed at his candid admission, Liam's face was serious. "I'm not joking. I want you, and I didn't think about how you must be feeling. The whole fake profile thing must still be weighing on your mind. And all of the other problems that go along with being with me. You should have more time to think about it."

And my dead husband, let's not forget that. I didn't say that out loud, thank God. "I will have time to think about it. But right now, I want..." Shit. I've gone shy again. Just fucking tell him you want him too! "I mean, can't we just have a bit of a cuddle and a snog?"

Liam's lips twitched as he tried to suppress a smile, "a cuddle and a snog?"

I nodded.

Smiling, Liam put his phone back in his pocket. "I think I can arrange that."

Without further warning, Liam grabbed my wrists in one hand and pinned them to the wall above my head. His other hand snaked around my waist, holding me to him, his hips rolling into mine. His eyes were fierce and focused on mine. I closed my eyes, the sensations too much, and my breath quickened.

I heard Liam say through gritted teeth, "It's taken everything I had not to do this to you since I saw you at the bar. I wanted to take you then and there." His voice seemed to ease, the words coming easier for him. "You don't know how much I've wanted to touch you. To know you are real." Then he whispered, "and you are. Real. You're as beautiful tonight as you were in your pictures."

I opened my eyes and found Liam staring at me, and his intensity was nearly frightening. He pulled me tighter against himself, his fingertips digging into me while he crushed me against his body. I felt his hardness against my hip, and I couldn't stop myself from rubbing against it. This time Liam closed his eyes, and I felt the rush of blood to my centre.

Liam opened his eyes, desire naked on his face, "Kiss me," he said.

I met his soft and warm lips. I felt Liam's groan rumble in his vast chest, and kissing him again, my lips scraped against his whiskers. Liam kissed me back now. His tongue pushed past my lips, and found mine. His tongue playfully danced in my mouth. Liam's hand left my arse and started to feel my hips, my waist and then my breasts. He cupped them and gently squeezed. My breath caught as his hand skimmed past my nipple. His palm created friction against the lace of my bra, and tingles radiated through my body.

His lips left mine and went to my neck. He kissed and sucked at me, moving down to the top of my breasts. I heard him take a deep breath into my chest as his cheeks rubbed against my skin. His kisses became harder against my chest and moved back up to my neck, his teeth nipping at me as he went. Even though he had me captured, I wriggled against him, my hips moved uncontrollably, my breath uneven and weak.

Liam pulled away, still firmly gripping one of my hands. "Come with me." Liam led me to the lift.

"Where are we going?"

"To my bedroom." I pulled against him, forcing him to stop. "Sweetheart, I promise I won't fuck you until you ask."

My legs turned to jelly. I wanted to fall to my knees and beg despite my reservations. I nodded and followed Liam into the lift.

Part 4

#original character #original fiction #romantic story

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sillyrabbit81 · 3 years

Text

Her Heavy Cross

Pairing: OMC x OFC

Word Count: approx 3k

Warnings: swearing, angst, implied smut

Authors Note: The story started as a Henry Cavill fanfiction but I changed it to be an original character, but shades of Henry are still there. Hope you enjoy the story and thanks for reading.

Part 10 Part 12

Part 11

The next few days were monotonous. Most mornings, I would go to the gym. Then I'd head off to work. After work, I'd take Perrin for a walk. We stopped at the dog park a few times to throw the ball. Then I'd go home and read or watch tv. After dinner, I would FaceTime Liam before falling asleep.

Although I missed him terribly, it had been good to have some space. I was able to think about us a bit. Liam was always great on the phone, a gentleman even. Yes, he flirted with me and made inappropriate comments, but they were always in context. I'd be lying if I said I didn't flirt with him back. But it was nice to get to know him better, and I decided I definitely liked him as a person and a lover. He was sweet, sincere, funny and warm, the same as he was when he was Will. He seemed to accept who I was. There were no digs at me, maybe some friendly ribbing, but it seemed he liked me too. We spent a lot of time laughing. We had a similar sense of humour.

He opened up about some of his past relationships, how he felt about them and what went wrong. A lot of the times, he admitted to fault, especially in the early ones. I talked a bit about Andy but kept a lot back. No doubt, he noticed.

Thursday afternoon changed everything.

Liam called me when I was driving home from work at about four-thirty. It broke with our routine. We usually spoke around nine o'clock. I answered the phone, and Liam's voice came through the speakers.

"Hello, Sweetheart. How was your day?"

I smiled at this now familiar greeting. "Really good, Liam. How was yours? Have you finished work already?"

"Yeah, good. I'm supposed to stay for another hour, but I wasn't needed, so I left." Liam paused and said, "Listen, Lana, I have to tell you something."

"Oh, no."

"Yesterday, a parent from your school saw the pictures of us." I went cold. I was 10 minutes from my house, but I pulled over. "She left a message on one of the pictures that you look like a teacher from her kid's school." Oh shit. "Anyway, this morning, you were on duty at the "kiss and drop", whatever that is."

Robotically I said, "it's where the parents drop the kids off at school without getting out of the car." I could see where this is as going.

"Right." He sounded strange but continued. "Well, they took a picture of you, put that side by side with the others. Long story short, Sarah was called to confirm your name."

"Oh, for fucks sake." I was pissed off. "What did she tell them?"

"She said she couldn't confirm or deny."

"In other words, yes, but my boss said, don't say anything."

"That's a bit unfair, Lana. She can't lie to them, or they won't bother calling her when they get a story. They will just run it because they can't trust what she says."

"Fuck this," I said and hung up on Liam.

I slammed my foot down on the accelerator and spun the tires. I had a Toyota Camry SX. It's sort of sporty, but it's not meant to be driven like that, but I was fuming. Liam rang again, but I ignored it. I backed off and slightly and rounded a corner, tires chirping as I went. I fumbled in my bag, driving one-handed until I found and lit a cigarette. As stupid as it was, I drove the rest of the way home like that.

When I got home, I quickly changed into my Draggin jeans, leather jacket and riding boots. I grabbed my helmet, gloves and went for a ride.

I loved being on the bike. Andy was the first guy I'd been with who rode. I remembered the first time he got me on the bike. He hadn't even let the clutch out, and I screamed and jumped off. The second time was better, and I went around the block before I got off. The third time, I was hooked. I loved holding onto his waist as we rode, my chest pressed against his back, my thighs touching his, my hands under his t-shirt. I loved the heavy thrumming of the bike, the wind whistling past. It was exciting, erotic, but also calming. Calming is what I needed.

I was so angry. Not at Liam or Sarah. Or even the bitch who outed me or the others who put my photo out there in the first place. I didn't know who I was angry with. Hollywood? Gossip? Social media? Myself? Maybe I was mad at myself. I deserved it. I'd turned my back on Andy, fucked another guy, and now I'm in a relationship with him, according to public record. Every time someone googles my name, his will come up.

The parents at school will give me looks, and I won't know what they are thinking. Will they be laughing at me? And if it didn't work out, everyone would know. I would have to go through a break up while everyone watched, picked at it, chose sides and commented.

I rode for about an hour up through the Blue Mountains. When I stopped for petrol at Wentworth Falls, my thoughts had settled, and I was thinking clearer. I stopped at a cafe, got a coffee and checked my phone. Liam had called twice more and sent a few messages. Riza had called and texted me.

I checked Riza's first. It was a link to an article, Liam Cross's Secret Aussie Lover. Her text simply said, "Jen just found this. Call me if you need me." I didn't click the link.

I checked Liam's. He said he wants to make sure I'm ok. Then he said he wants to come over and talk to me.

I called Liam. He seemed to answer before it even rang. "Sweetheart. Are you ok?" He sounded a bit frantic.

I took a deep breath. "I'm sorry I snapped at you."

"I knew you'd be upset."

"Upset is one thing. I snapped at you and blamed Sarah. You're right. It's not her fault."

"Lana, don't worry about that. Did you read the article?"

"No."

Liam was quiet a while. Then he said, "Are you ok now?"

"Yeah, I'm ok. I just needed some time to calm down." I let out a short laugh. "I am a redhead after all. I have a temper."

Liam laughed, "Do I have to be worried about being stabbed in my sleep?"

"Nah, being a redhead wouldn't make me do that. I get that part of me from being a Scorpio."

"I don't know whether to be scared or turned on right now."

I smirked, "Why not be both?"

Liam laughed and then got serious. "You sure you're ok? Do you want me to come over? I almost did get in my car when you wouldn't answer."

"Stalker," I teased.

"And that's why I didn't."

"I'm not at home anyway."

"Where are you?"

"I took off on the bike to clear my head. I'm in the mountains right now."

"The mountains?"

"Yeah, the Blue Mountains. Look west tomorrow, and you'll see them."

"I'll do that." Liam paused. "I'm really looking forward to seeing you tomorrow."

"I'm looking forward to seeing you too. Bye, Liam."

"Bye, Sweetheart."

I finished my coffee and rode home.

I texted Riza to let her know I was ok. I played with Perrin. I texted my brother to remind him to pick Perrin up tomorrow afternoon. I ate some dinner before packing my bag for tomorrow and went to bed. It was a long time before I finally fell into a restless sleep.

Liam Cross's Secret Aussie Lover

"Pictures of Liam Cross, 38, with an unknown female were circulating on social media earlier this week, and tongues were set wagging.

"Users were quick to put their detective hats on and tracked down Cross's new flame late yesterday. The woman was identified as Mrs Alana Walker, 30, Sydneysider, and special education teacher. Not much else is known about Mrs Walker other than she was widowed in 2017. Her husband, Andrew Walker, and father Brian Kelly were killed in a horrific Boxing Day crash when his car was destroyed by a truck driver who had a medical incident behind the wheel.

"Sources close to Cross say that he has been elated the past couple of months, and now they know why. They hope for his sake that this relationship will not be plagued by scandal like his previous relationships.

"For now, Cross's camp is remaining tight-lipped on the situation. While they don't deny a relationship, they will not confirm it.

"Cross is currently in Sydney for an adaptation of the widely popular and romantic fantasy epic Beyond the Stones series by C. W. Taylor. He will co-star alongside Australian Myra Roberts with an expected release in the northern hemisphere winter of 2022."

I woke on Friday morning and laid in bed for a while. I should have gone to the gym, but I just couldn't get my body to move. I wanted to chuck a sickie, blow off the whole day, maybe go for a swim, or just watch movies all day. I had an urge to watch Kill Bill for some reason. But I couldn't do that to the kids.

I knew I was just trying to avoid the parents at school. I'm sure most of them know by now. Gossip runs rampant at the school gate. We've all seen Big Little Lies. Probably all the staff knew too. It was one of those days where I wish I could just press fast forward and get to the part where I see Liam again. I didn't want to miss out on that.

In the end, I got up, showered and got ready for work. I tamed my hair, put on my war paint and dressed in black work pants, ballet flats and a pink knitted cardigan.

I started to pack my bag for the weekend, trying to work out what outfits I needed. I had decided what I wanted to wear for dinner tonight, but I didn't know what to wear to bed. Would I even need anything to wear? I blushed at the thought. I packed a basic set of pyjamas. I added jeans and a couple of t-shirts, a hoodie and my Dr Martens. I put some pretty underwear in there too. I didn't have much, just a white lace set which Liam had already seen and two black lace sets. I packed them all.

My phone beeped, and I got a message from Liam. It was a picture of his face all sweaty from working out. He had his tongue sticking out. He had written, I was going to send you a picture of my cock but thought that was a bit vulgar. So I decided to send you a picture of another part of my body that's going to fuck you tonight. Can't wait x.

My whole body grew hot, my stomach filled with butterflies, and I giggled. I started to reply with 'cheeky bastard', but then I had an idea. I sent him a picture of my face with my mouth open in an O shape, and I rested a finger on the corner of my lower lip. I wrote, I was going to send you a picture of my pussy but thought it was a bit obvious. So I sent you a picture of another part of my body that's going to get fucked tonight. X

Within a minute, I got a reply of: Game on, Sweetheart.

Well, if Liam wants to play a game, I can play a game.

I pulled my pyjamas out of my bag and put in a satin shift, pretty much my only sexy bedclothes. I thought about what other sexy photos I could take and packed a few other things. Then I made my lunch and headed off to work.

I rang Riza on the way to work. She asked me about how I was feeling. I told her I was dealing with it, but I said no more about it. I asked Riza about how she and Jen were going, and she said we would meet up soon.

"I miss you," she said.

"Yeah, I miss you too. Talk soon, ok?"

"Yeah, have a good weekend slut! Tell Liam I said hi."

"Suck a dick Riz."

We hung up, and almost immediately, Dave calls.

He doesn't say hello or anything, just launches in with, "Are you dating Liam Cross?" Fuck. "One of Lucy's friends just sent her an article about you and him."

No use denying it then. "Yeah, I am. He's the one I'm spending the weekend with." I braced for his reply.

"Fuck me dead. My fucking little sister is rooting Liam fucking Cross." His voice didn't sound angry. He sounded impressed.

I rolled my eyes. "It's not a big deal. Just don't forget to get Perrin and don't tell Mum."

"Not a big deal? The kids will go crazy when they meet him."

"Dave, we are hardly at the point where we are meeting families."

"Yeah, alright, keep your shirt on."

"I'll come by Sunday arvo to pick Perrin up?"

"Wanna stay for dinner?"

"Yeah, ok. See you then."

I ended the call and got to work not long after that. I went straight to my classroom, trying to avoid everyone. There was one person I couldn't avoid, and that was Marla, my teacher's aide. She was in her late 50s, though, so I thought she would be pretty safe. She didn't mention anything all morning, which was a relief.

At lunchtime, I stayed in the classroom. I told Marla I had some work to do, so she left me alone. I checked my phone and found a message from Liam.

It was a picture of Liam drinking from a bottle of pineapple juice, and it said, Me hydrating for tonight x.

His innuendo made me chuckle, but I had planned for something like this. I took a selfie of myself with a banana in my mouth and sent it with the caption: Presumptive much? Me carbo-loading for tonight.

Liam replied a little later with, I can't decide if I'm winning because my pics are better or if I'm still winning because yours are better.

Marla came back into the classroom about halfway through lunch. She pottered around the room, trying to look busy. She kept looking over at me. I felt myself start to panic. She wasn't acting like that this morning. She must know now. They all must know. I started wondering what everyone was saying about me in the staff room. They had probably sent Marla back to the classroom to see what information they could get out of me. The panic receded, and anger filled the void.

Eventually, I lost my temper. "Have you got something to say, Marla?"

Marla had the good grace to look ashamed. "No. Nothing."

I crossed my arms. "What are they saying?"

Marla sighed, "honestly? They're mostly pretty stoked about it. Happy for you."

I let my arms fall. My vision went a bit blurry. "Really?"

Marla came over and leaned against the table, and rubbed my back. "Oh, Darl, yeah, most of us remember what it was like for you. We just want you to be happy."

I smiled at her, but the tears still came. Marla gave me a tissue. "Thanks, Marla." I sniffed, "ugh, the parents, though. I'm not looking forward to that."

Marla smiled and said, "don't worry about it, Darl. I'll fill in for ya this arvo, and you can do my Wednesday lunch duty. How's that?" I thanked her. Relieved, I hugged her and cleaned myself up.

When school had finished, I made a mad dash to the car park. I knew I was just putting off the inevitable. I'd have to show my face in front of the parents sooner or later, but I decided it was Monday's problem.

I checked my phone before I headed off to Liam's place. He had sent me a shirtless picture of himself with some rope curled up around his shoulder and written, One of my costumes has a rope. It made me think of you. I'm about to leave. See you soon.

Dammit, I couldn't think of a response to that one! I sat and thought about it for ages. I was not about to give in easily. Then it came to me. I got my water bottle and one of my spare undies from my overnight bag. I wet them a bit, put the underwear and water bottle on the bag and took a picture of them both. I wrote. My water bottle leaked in my bag, and my panties got wet. It made me think of you. I'm on my way.

The three circles came up within seconds, and Liam sent, You are in so much trouble, Sweetheart. Park around the back.

And because I can't control my tongue in real life or texts, I wrote back, That's what she said.

I didn't wait for a reply. I just put an audiobook on and drove.

Part 12

#original character #original fiction #romantic story #happy ever after

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