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#i am enthusiastically nonbinary. i am begrudgingly a woman. i'm a woman with a long footnote explanation. woman¹
nowendil
·
7 months
Text
been thinking a lot about womanhood lately
#like. i don't exactly identify as being a woman. in contrast i do have a strong nonbinary/muunsukupuolinen identity
#yet i do feel and acknowledge that in most contexts i AM a woman
#not only because that's what most of the world sees me as but that's also consecuently how i move through the world
#there is no one set way for women to experoence the world but i do feel like my experience is one of those. because i am gendered as a woman
#it used to make me uncomfortable and dysphoric and i'm not saying that now it never does
#but i have made my peace with it? like. i feel like i have “let womanhood in” as a part of my identity
#and i have also realized that it's not actually being seen as a woman that makes me uncomfortable but being seen SOLELY as a woman
#like my friends calling me a woman or my partner calling me their girlfriend doesnt sting usually
#because i know they also see the other parts of my gender identity
#but when a coworker refers to me with she/her or includes me in “ladies” it stings. because i know that's all they see
#like YES i can be a woman. if you acknowledge that i am a bit of a weird woman.
#i can be a woman if you acknowledge that i am a gnc woman. a bisexual woman. a queer woman. a woman who is sometimes bit of a man.
#if you see and acknowledge that we can talk
#however i am NOT a nonbinary woman. i am nonbinary AND a woman. which to some people is the same thing
#but to me it's an important distinction. being nonbinary and being a woman are both parts of my gender identity but in very different ways
#and very distinctively. lumping them together as equal parts of my identity as i feel the term “nonbinary woman” does doesn't describe me
#i am enthusiastically nonbinary. i am begrudgingly a woman. i'm a woman with a long footnote explanation. woman¹
#“nonbinary woman” also doesnt feel like it accommodates the way i relate to manhood or boyhood. but that's a whole another tedtalk
#i'm not a man but i like how it looks. and i'm not a man i'm just borrowing parts of it for genderfuckery reasons
#idk how to explain it in english...
#in finnish i would say that en oo mies mut joskus lainaan tai iahn vaa ihailen asioita mieheyden kuvastosta.
#but because in social situations and In Our Society That We Live In you mostly can just choose one gender and it's either man or a woman
#thennout of those i would rather be a woman. legally. with strangers. you know. not a woman but kind of yes because i relate to other women
#if i could be seen only as nonbinary i would. but then again my nonbinaryness does encompass some parts of both womanhood and manhood.
#so i guess people would have trouble seeing it as “only nonbinsry”
#idk man. it's complicated and also changes emphasis multiple times a year
#ask me again a month from now and the gender landscape will be interpreted completely differently
#gender
#nowe talks
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