#hope you're having a wonderful day! thank you for utterly decimating me <3

[searidings]

Bro, I am here again, at nine pm and it has been a rough day, so instead of my educational reading I indulged myself to read a fic, and everytime I get to this paragraph I weep incontrolable. It's so well written, and it contains a lot of emotions, that just make me ask myself if I hurt the person I love the most will they come back? Will I forgive myself? This has happened to me in the past, and I know how deeply the self hatred can be. But on the other hand, have myself I not came back countless times? Even when I'm deeply hurt.

Sorry for the vomit of feelings, I just wanted to say thank you for putting your work out there, it's amazing and I hope you keep writing. I promise I'll keep reading. You're amazing, bro, have a good one!

oh god oh jeez alright alright alright so im thinking about writing that line and them im thinking about how i also wrote this

and then im thinking about that post that’s like ‘we love enemies to lovers because the idea that someone could see the worst of us and still want us is so appealing’ 

and im thinking about that taylor jenkins reid quote “if you are intolerable, let me be the one to tolerate you” 

and im thinking about how maybe when we say love me what we really mean is see me, see what even i can’t bear to look at, and then stay

#for the last anon who was asking about the most self indulgent thing i've ever written #well #fuck me. i think this might be it #this has been a truly eye opening moment for me my friend like wow #let me tell you. the experience of realising that through your fics you are consistently and vociferously yearning on main #for something you hadn't even put a name to within your conscious mind #but that nevertheless crops up repeatedly through both your own creations and other creations you enjoy #is a DOOZY #i am feeling extremely exposed on main lads #shocked and appalled by my own capacity to yearn #just full ass-out in front of god and everyone #this got a little too real a little to quickly for me like wow #im actually reeling #thank you so much for the honesty of this message #as you can see it's prompted quite the spiral in me as well #i see your vomit of feelings and raise you my own #god i think i have to go read some anne carson quotes and then maybe i'll calm down #hope you're having a wonderful day! thank you for utterly decimating me <3 #asks #arthx