#his constellations feel kinda weak too but that's a problem for another day

[autumn-pines]

Blank State-Chapter 2: Dipper

   Chapter 1

Before...

Switching. Danger.

A handshake.

Laughter.

  Unlike the girl, the boy wasn't saying anything. And even though he was quiet, he looked just as upset as the other child. He was simply staring at you with a depressed, knowing face, while rubbing his arm, like he was unsure what to do.

And when the girl is on her knees, crying, the boy puts on one hand on her shoulders while the other goes up to pull down his cap, partially hiding his face.

But even from where you were, you could see something shining on what was visible.

And maybe, there was a hitched sob.

 "We saved the world, but what's the point? Grunkle Stan's not himself anymore." The boy mutters, scuffing at the ground with his foot.

He looks like despair is starting to grip him, the same going for the rest of the people.

However, after the girl finds the scrapbook, he walks over to the right side of the chair, perching himself up on the arm.

"That time we went fishing?" He breaks in, sounding cautiously hopeful. Or desperate. "That Summerween we spent together? Don't you remember anything?"  

You don't.

But then you do.

Something small. Only a name. But then it turns into two names. And now the boy is happily saying to keep going as you sit down, scootching closer when you do.

After the laughter, you gently reach over to rub your knuckles into the boy's head. He only lets out a wide grin, his expression near giddy, and punches your arm in return.

Afterwards, you are told that the boy and the girls are twins...

And that they are your great niece and nephew.

Which makes a part of you glow with giddiness and pride. Though you didn't admit that.

And like your niece, your nephew has his own quirks, too.

He's sort of an awkward child, with a cracking voice resulting from puberty and his tendency to burst into rants and then stutter off when he realizes what he just did.

However, you notice he is a little firecracker, too. Not so much the way Mabel is with her happiness, but more like a determined feisty kitten.

It didn't help that he sometimes sneezes like a kitten, too.

"I do not sound adorable!"

You also note that the child wears the same clothes everyday. Literally.

A red short-sleeved shirt, a blue vest, gray shorts, and his blue hat with a pine-tree on it.

You never bring it up, but you hope that he at least changes to another pair of the stuff he wears instead of keeping the same pair on.

He also sometimes carries a red book around and writes in it while chewing on the pen or clicking it relentlessly.

One time, you saw a golden six-fingered hand on the cover. You felt a pang of familiarity, something itch your mind, but when you tried to delve down into your memories, the feeling disappeared.

But a image of the elder man flashed.

Whenever there are scrapbook memory sessions, the boy is always there, correcting details and adding to them.

"Uh, Mabel, the zombies were not made out of pink putty."

"Oh, no. The wax guys actually meant to kill you."

Once, he tells how he went into your mind and saw a memory of yours that he will never forget.

"...And when I opened the door, you were saying that I was a loser, and weak. That you just wanted to get rid of me." The b-Dipper paused, studying the table, not meeting your eyes.

You wince, feeling like an absolute jerk. You open your mouth, about to apologize when the boy raised his hand.

"But when I listened more, it turned out you were only talking about your past experiences, and that you were just trying to help me get stronger so I could fight the world if things got tough." He finishes, finally looking up at you, smiling.

Then, with some hesitance, he slides off his chair and walks over to hug you. "Thanks, Grunkle Stan."

"...Eh, no problem, kiddo." You pat him on the back, feeling a lot lighter than just a few seconds ago. But then suddenly having less breath when your nephew decides to turn the hug into a playful chokehold.

He is a bit stronger than he looks, and you feel pride for him.

Dipper though, is also a bit jittery.

Once he asks for a dollar, and when you hand him a one-dollar bill, he glances at the back and drops it, watching it as it floated to the ground. He didn't move to pick it up but nor did he move away from it.

You gingerly put a hand on his shoulder, "You okay, kid?"

"I-I'm fine." He utters, starting to look a little scared. "C-Can I just have some quarters, please?"

Swiftly you offer the silver coins, and with a nod of gratitude, Dipper snatches the coins and speed-walks out of the room.

When you pick up the dollar, you scan it, trying to see what frightened him. There was nothing suspicious looking, except for the weird triangle thing with an eye on the left side...

...a cackle. Screams. 

You leave the dollar on the counter.

Later that night, you had to your best to calm down a panic attack.

"Will he be okay?" Mabel frets from beside you. Earlier, she ran into you while you were heading to your room. Frantically, she brought you to their bedroom, where you found your nephew sitting on his bed, with arms wrapped tightly around his knees, breaths short and erratic.

You nod, putting your hands gingerly on Dipper's shoulders, causing for him to look up at you with wide, terrified eyes. You can feel your heart crack. "Alright, kid, deep breaths. Inhale...exhale..."

After about a minute, Dipper finally calms down. "S-Sorry," He mutters. "It was j-just a stupid nightmare."

You shake your head. "Hey, there's no such thing as a dumb nightmare. It's alright to be scared. Just uh, come get me if you need to, okay?"

Dipper smiles slightly, and nods. With his sister's help, the two go back to bed, and you can hear them chatter as you leave the room.

You had a feeling that the dollar-bill sparked this. But why, you don't know.

Sometime later, Dipper takes off his hat and shows you his birthmark, making you recall his real name, a hospital, and you holding two tiny babies. One that punched the doctor when she came out and the other already having something strange the day he was born.

You never have seen something so adorable.

So naturally you tried to hold them as long as possible.

That same day, the two of you go on a trek through the woods. Dipper saw something that he wants to check out, but since his sister and the other man were busy, he asked you to come with him.

"What are we looking for again?" You shove away a branch that just slapped you in the face.

"I don't know, actually." Dipper glances down at the notepad he brought along while holding the end of a pen to his mouth. "All I saw was a bunch of neon colors. It did kinda look reptilian, though. And I heard a screech type sound."

If you die because of this, it is 100% not going to be your fault.

"And what's your plan to track this?" You tighten your grip on your bat. You don't like going in blind, especially when you're with a child.

"Grunkle Stan, we've been following it's footsteps for the past six minutes." Dipper responds, sounding deadpanned.

You tilt your head downwards and realize that the two of you were walking on a trail of footsteps, with each one having four toes and what looked like claws. Huh. What an observant person you are.

You are preparing a snarky comeback when your nephew stops, perking up as if he spotted something. "Shhh," He hisses as he leans forward, carefully lowering a bush.

Ah, you see what he's looking at.

Just a few meters away, a tall, bright-colored...thing is standing on eight legs, sniffing at a tree. You guess it does appear similar to a reptile with it's scales and face structure. But there is something strange about it. Pure black covered the neck and head, making the rest of it's body stand out even more. And even from where you are standing you can see it has small red pupils.

That just flicked back and caught direct sight of you.

The thing lets out a purr and turns around, staring at you with a curious expression.

"Hey, kid." You whisper, not taking your eyes off it. "Do you think this thing is friendly?"

"How am I supposed to know?" Dipper mutters, writing and sketching on his notepad. "It might be. Like, I guess it did purr at us."

The creature then smiles.

It. Smiles.

Making it look a lot more creepy than it had a right to be, almost like a serial killer. It takes a step towards you, flexing it's sharp, hooked claws.

Oh boy.

"RRREEEEEEEEEEE!" The monster screams and charges.

Yup, that would be a no thanks to you.

You snatch your nephew around the waist and throw him over your shoulder before running as fast as you can without face planting into the ground.

There were a few times when you thought it would catch and brutally kill you both, but with Paul Bunyan's luck it get's lost somewhere behind you.

The two of you are covered with leaves and mud when you finally reach the Shack, and after you set your nephew down, you both burst out into hysterical laughter.

But then you remember being on a mist-covered mountain, letting some kids loose to destroy things, the slowest and most irritating sky-tram on earth, a spider lady that tried to eat you, and specifically you saying, "What do I look like, an amnesiac?"

You slap your forehead.

So far, your past was something, to say the least.

But the most important thing you recall, was Dipper smiling up at you, and saying sincerely.

"Hey, we're both losers."

After you tell the adventure the two of you had in the woods to the rest of the family, whose shocked faces making the event totally worth it, you go to the chair, feeling exhausted. 

What you didn't expect was to feel something lay on your side. 

When you look, you discover that Dipper was resting on you, already asleep. Without saying a word, you wrap an arm around him.

It was a pretty good day.

Your nephew is lots of things. Books that are scattered everywhere. Annoying and relentless pen clicking. Typical teenager awkwardness combined with eager curiosity. A constellation on Earth, in a spot least expected. A quiet type of happy, that shows itself in subtle ways. A secret name that only a few know.

A pine tree.

All that resulted in Dipper.

I always enjoy writing some Stan and Dipper bonding. They are such a stubborn pair.

Okay, the next chapter is Ford's! Which should be posted tomorrow, but don't worry if it doesn't. I'm a little busy right now, however the next chapter will probably be on schedule. Thanks for reading!

@stanuary

#Stanley Pines #Dipper Pines #Amnesiac Stan #Stanuary #stanuary 2018 #Gravity Falls #My Old Fic

[twistednuns]

January 2019

Starting the new year with my first cavern dive. On the first of January I went diving in Dos Ojos - a cenote like an underwater cathedral. Stalactites and stalagmites everywhere, the divers’ bubbles creating a mirror ceiling, a surface stop in a bat cave. What an amazing start. So much better than nursing a hangover in bed.                                            

Picking up a hitchhiker on my way to Bacalar: Jamie, a writer and editor from NYC who gave up her permanent job for freelance work and travelling through Latin and South America for a few months. I’m so glad I met her! We had a nice conversation on that three hour drive and actually met again  for dinner on the next day. She gave me a tiny baby kitten owned by one of her friends from the hostel. Its mum had been sleeping on the chair next to me during our entire meal. On our walk back we stopped at the eco beach and sat down on a little footbridge by the lake. The night sky was amazing. I showed Jamie different planets and constellations.

The lagoon at Lake Bacalar. It’s supposed to have seven colours and it’s even more gorgeous than the sea as soon as the sun comes out. I spent a few hours sitting in one of those bamboo huts, looking out over the water, drawing, listening to music, drying my clothes after a swim. I also loved the Mango y Chile restaurant in Bacalar. I had a yummy Maya Burger and a smoothie.

Spending an evening with Emilio, a dive guide in Playa del Carmen. He picked me up and we walked to a bar in the neighbourhood where we had beer with lime and salt. He walked me home as well because that’s how it’s done in Mexico, eh? What a gentle kisser. Divers are good people, seriously. Latino divers even more. We met again the next morning during my cavern dive in Chac Mool. By the way, I loved Nicholas, the Argentinian who runs CenoteExperience. Easy-going and fun - in multiple languages! Too bad I had to go diving with a German that day.

My last meal in Playa: a delicious salad at Peace&Bowl. Such a cute little vegan restaurant nestled into a corner of a backyard right next to a pool.

Doing absolutely nothing in Cancùn except enjoying my last rays of sunshine in the rooftop pool, sipping on a cocktail. Getting dinner in a quiet garden nearby (summer rolls and vegan Ceviche). Giving another girl a ride on my way to the airport because she was afraid to walk to the bus station alone in the middle of the night.

Coming home after 30 hours at airports and on planes. Doing the one thing I had been looking forward to most: cleaning my face. Plucking my eyebrows. Applying a face mask.

Singing along to Joan Armatrading’s The Weakness in Me.

Rapunzel Ayurveda porridge with blueberries and pecans.

An evening on Manu’s sofa. Just hanging out, talking. Very relaxed.

Boxing with Konsti. He was my trainer for a trial session at Boxwerk. I’m kinda tempted to start training there but then again… this will be SO hard. I’ve already got sore muscles from shadow boxing alone. And I’d be so distracted with that blonde, blue-eyed war machine around.

Banana nice cream with passion fruit or cacao nibs, pecans and some crumbled buckwheat cookies. We’re talking Ben&Jerry’s-level good here. Roasted peanuts make it delicious, too. It’s probably the reason why I’m not able to lose weight on a vegan diet, eh?

A bunch of picture-perfect white lilies on my kitchen table followed by nineteen red tulips. Desperately longing for spring. I’m so glad the ice crust on the streets is almost gone and the snow has started to melt.

A theatre visit with my students. The play was in Bavarian and pretty funny. I had brought along Andre on a whim because we had a leftover ticket. Long story short: a student caught us making out in the back row. We got a drink afterwards and ended up at his place. What a great evening. I don’t know what it is but I feel super comfortable around Andre. Even though he calls me Schätzchen.

Doing ten sun salutations on Monday morning before going to work. Lighting a candle, watching the sunrise, suffering through the stiffness.

Meeting Baha at a Lebanese restaurant. We didn’t even finish most answers or explanations because we kept hopping from topic to topic, always following new thoughts and ideas.

Cleaning, reorganising and decluttering my kitchen and bathroom! Even though I have a hoarding problem in my cellar now. I need to get rid of all that stuff.

Open air ice-skating at Prinzregentenstadion in the evening. Pretty chill activity for Saturday night (quite literally - it was freezing). Warming up with Vietnamese Bun and lychee mojitos at Thao. Good choice.

The insane wardrobe in The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. I would have loved to be a costume or set designer for those episodes they spent at Steiner Resort. It’s such an aesthetically pleasing show.

Katelyn Ohashi’s gymnastics performance made me tear up because it gives me so much joy. There is also a little video about the end of her professional career which was pretty moving.

The emergence of the plunger. What a weird and unlikely object I keep seeing people walking around with. First it was Susie in The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel (btw that show’s title is way too long) fell in love with hers and then my pupils started showing up with it at school to play some mysterious game with it. New trend object?

Lychees. The perfect lustrous shade of pink on the inside of their crunchy shells. A spiky texture on the outside. Especially their perfectly smooth, dark brown, oblong pits. Beautiful as they are though - I don’t even like their taste very much.

Sleeping for 14 hours which actually has a visual effect on my face - I look so much better and well-rested. Dreaming about hitchhiking, badass women and Andre, laughing at me for worrying about the police following us in the car for driving uphill in reverse gear.

Cancelling a date because I already knew it would have been boring. I only agreed to it because I had no better options that evening but honestly? Reading a graphic novel and going to bed late is a pretty good alternative. I’m not that desperate.

The return to the pool. Going swimming for the first time in months. I kinda missed it. Muscle memory.

Andre. Simply for being so very affectionate,caring, touchy. There is always a hand on my shoulder, a little kiss here and there, a joke on his lips. He even put cream on my hands and face when he noticed my dry skin. Being treated like that feels so good and yet it’s something I’m clearly missing in my life. It’s also the reason why I do stupid things like going without enough sleep on a Thursday night or changing my mind, getting off the train one stop after him and taking a taxi to surprise him by showing up early.

#personal #present perfect #things i love #january 2019 #2019 #january