#google search when to start worrying when the host just...vanishes

[young-dumb-and-vaccinated]

Cult Girl: Doctorate (Hannibal x Female!Reader) pt. 2

Oils

Cult girl socializes at the opera and receives an unexpected call. 

Note: I tagged this as “anti mlm” as in multi-level marketing and not men-loving-men. 

Trigger warnings: Discussions of cults and emotional manipulation

It wasn't until after the opera was over that people began to notice you may have had a little fun during intermission. Hannibal's hair wasn't in its usual perfect side part and his jacket was slightly wrinkled in places. You could cover most of his love bites with your stole, but nothing could hide that post-orgasm glow.

Most opera-goers stayed to socialize for hours after the show concluded, making an already long night even longer. It was like clubbing, but for rich old people.

"So you're the future Mrs. Hannibal Lecter?" A woman with silvery hair said. She dragged her husband into the conversation by the arm. "I've heard so much about you."

You were about to say something witty, but noticed the way she was looking at you. Scanning you up and down. Looking for anything out of place to grill you about.

"Only good things, I hope." Hannibal said in your silence. His voice was vaguely threatening. "She is a doctoral student, in her second year of her graduate studies in clinical psychology."

The husband, who, up to this point, hadn't spoken a word, perked up. "Is that right?"

You smiled, excited for the chance to talk about your passion. "Yes sir. I've still got quite a ways to go, but I love my work."

"You should be proud." The man praised, looking at Hannibal. "You've got yourself an ambitious wife."

"Oh, we're not married yet." You corrected.

"So when can we expect an invitation?" The woman asked.

"Six months from now, isn't it?" Hannibal answered. "Memorial day weekend. Then I'm taking her to Italy for a lengthy honeymoon."

The woman threw her head back and sighed. "That sounds heavenly."

"You young modern girls are always so intuitive." The man commented. "I'll bet you tricked him into marrying you."

You wanted to call this guy out for his sexist bullshit, but he wasn't far off. It was Hannibal who tricked you, though.

Technically, he proposed to you within the first six months. You just didn't know it. It took until shockingly recently to find out.

It was during a ballroom dancing lesson of all places. You were sweaty, but loved the feeling of your lover's hands gently guiding your movements. You stepped away from the lesson to get some water, and innocently asked when he would propose to you.

"I believe I already did." He said with enough conviction to blur the lines of seriousness and sarcasm.

"You pretended to." You corrected. "Remember? We were just pretending to be engaged for Anna's wedding."

"But it didn't end after the wedding, did it?" He observed. "You kept calling me your fiancé long after that weekend passed."

You paused, then threw your head back in exasperation. "Oh my god, Hannibal."

Hannibal laughed. "I told you. Someday it won't be a lie."

"You're a piece of shit, you know that?" You pressed your fingers to your temples. "So we've been engaged this whole time?"

"What can I say?" He said, gently. "I knew you were my one and only even then. It was just a matter of circumventing your inhibitions."

"I'm not complaining." You folded your arms. "But a little notice would have been nice."

"Well, if you insist." He laced his fingers between his own. "[F/N] [L/N]. Will you be my wife?"

Even though the question was truly just a formality, you were still as giddy as a schoolgirl to hear those words.

"Yes, Hannibal Lecter." You said, cheeks stinging from smiling so hard. "I will marry you."

Then you just went back to the dance lesson like nothing happened. It was shockingly in-character for both of you.

"No." You shook your head. "We killed someone together and took a blood oath to never separate."

The couple laughed. Hannibal looked down at you with pride.

“So [F/N].” The man said. “Have you given any thought to your doctoral dissertation?” 

“Oh, Charles.” The woman rolled her eyes. “I’m sure she didn’t come here to be grilled about her studies.” 

“No, it’s okay.” You smiled. As long as you were talking about school, you weren’t being interrogated about the thirty-year age gap between you and Hannibal. “I have been thinking about my dissertation. There are plenty of fascinating topics to choose from, but I can’t not write it about, well, the reason I began to study psychology in the first place.” 

“And that is?” The man raised an eyebrow.

“Cults.” You said, grinning ear to ear. “Understanding them, their leaders, their followers, why people join them. How they evolve and grow more insidious as time passes. What form they’re starting to take in the digital age.” 

“That is interesting.” The woman’s voice rose, connoting genuine engagement. “And what form are they taking in the digital age?” 

You looked up at Hannibal, as if to ask for permission. Permission to rip into her and burn that bridge for good. He answered in the affirmative. 

“Ma’am, could I take a look at your bracelet?” You asked, already knowing exactly what she would say. 

Her face lit up. “Oh, do you like it?”

She pulled it off her wrist and handed it to you. You brought it to your nose and took a whiff, confirming your theory. Then you handed it off to Hannibal, whose sense of smell was much more refined. He took one breath, then recoiled. 

Hannibal covered his mouth and nose with his hand and coughed. “That is... quite strong, Mrs. DeMarco.” 

“It’s Affirm, by doTERRA.” She revealed, her voice growing defensive. “It helps you ground yourself and remember your worth.” 

You handed the bracelet back to her. “Do you sell doTERRA, Mrs. DeMarco?” 

“Well, now that you mention it...” A small smile appeared on her lips. “Why? Would you like to buy some?” 

“I hate to be the one to tell you this, ma’am, but...” You lied. “You’re actually in a cult.” 

She had nothing to say to that. She just stared at you with her mouth agape, urging you to explain yourself. 

“Multilevel marketing companies employ a host of cult manipulation tactics to con people out of their savings.” You explained. “Just because the promise is financial independence instead of a spot in paradise, doesn’t mean it’s not a lie. Research conducted by the Federal Trade Commission shows that the vast majority of participants actually lose money. The statistics are just a google search away, yet thousands of people still insist on the legitimacy of the companies they sell for.” 

“Well, I-” She protested, but couldn’t find the words to defend herself. “I’m there for the community, really. For the first time in years, I have a sisterhood of like-minded women who love me!” 

You smiled through a cringe. “That’s another pretty common cult manipulation tactic. They appropriate familial language to make people feel more connected to the group than they really should be.” 

Although you didn’t expect her to, she looked to be genuinely considering it. 

“Next time you see your ‘sisters’,” You began. “Pay attention to how they talk about people who are not in the group. Or, better yet, tell them that you’re considering leaving. You’ll see how conditional their love is.” 

An awkward, deafening silence followed. The woman looked at her husband, as if willing him to do something. To stand up to the evil twenty-something grad student who had the audacity to cite her sources. 

Instead, the husband just burst out in riotous laughter. 

“Miriam!” He nearly shouted, heaving like he was about to collapse. “I told you that oil business was up to no good! No honest company makes their employees pay to work!” 

The woman’s face turned red. You almost felt bad for her. The feeling vanished when the man put his hand on your shoulder. 

“Seriously, Dr. Lecter, you’d better keep this one.” He said, wiping a tear from his eye. “She’s an absolute godsend.” 

“No divine intervention was involved whatsoever, Dr. DeMarco.” Hannibal smiled to himself and brought a glass of champagne to his lips. “She is a woman of her own making."

"Oh, we all know that's not entirely true." The woman snapped, slipping into passive-aggression. She glanced at Hannibal. "How much are you spending on this mouthy little know-it-all? Isn't it about $80k a year?"

You, of course, brought this on yourself. You threw down the gauntlet by going after this girlboss's side hustle, so now nothing was off-limits.

"I wouldn't worry about that, Mrs. DeMarco." Hannibal said, calmly. "My soon-to-be wife's education is a much better investment than that overpriced napalm you wear on your wrist."

You couldn't help but laugh at that. It was a laugh you shared with the man. Hannibal looked down at you, admiring how your face lit up.

"You'll forgive my wife's rudeness." The man requested. "Please, Ms. [F/N], tell me more about your dissertation."

"Well," you laced your fingers together. "I'm planning to write my dissertation on the cult of academic elitism."

"I would tread lightly, dear." The woman warned, eyes darting to Hannibal. "You wouldn't want to bite the hand that feeds you."

You adjusted your stole, giving them a quick glance at the love bites along your neck.

"I assure you." You said. "He quite likes it when I bite."

Your clutch started to aggressively, audibly vibrate. You could have sworn you'd put your phone on silent, but it buzzed nonetheless.

"Probably just, y'know-" you stuttered, embarrassed. "An amber alert or something."

"We are expecting a snowstorm, I believe. I was warned of it a few minutes ago." Hannibal said, always ready to cover your ass whenever needed. The couple nodded along in understanding.

You pulled your phone from your clutch. Your eyes widened and your face turned sickly pale at the sight of a caller you thought you’d never hear from again. Without thinking, you slid the deny icon across the screen. 

“Right.” You said, tucking your phone and your secrets back into the clutch. “Winter Storm... Theresa is headed this way.” 

Hannibal cleared his throat. “In that case, [F/N] and I must take our leave before we get snowed in. It was very nice catching up with you. I will see to it that [F/N] and I have you for dinner very soon.” 

#hannibal lecter #hannibal x you #hannibal x reader #hannibal nbc #cult girl #doterra #anti mlm

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Stop saying "it's not censorship if it's not the government"

If you think "It's not censorship unless the government does it," I want to change your mind.

It's absolutely true that the First Amendment only prohibits government action to suppress speech based on its content, but the First Amendment is not the last word on censorship.

Here are some kinds of private speech-suppression that I think most of us can agree are censorship: when the John Birch Society burned mountains of rock records and novels - or when Tipper Gore's PMRC pressured record stores to drop punk, metal and rap albums.

Or the Comics Code Authority, which signed up all comics publishers and retailers to block comics if they contained anything unfit for small children, which stunted American comics for generations while their European counterparts created entire sophisticated genres.

Or MPAA ratings, in which a secret group of censors (falsely described as frequently rotated, randomly selected parents - really they're long-serving studio insiders) decides whether movies get NC-17 ratings and thus be blocked from nearly every screen in the country.

(You can learn more about this from Kirby Dick's unmissable doc, "This Film Is Not Yet Rated," which documents both how the MPAA misleads the public about ratings, and uses them to block LGBTQ content)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/This_Film_Is_Not_Yet_Rated

Do those feel like censorship to you? They do to me. They share a common thread, too: monopoly. In each case, the number of retailers, producers, distributors, etc is small enough that if they collude to block something, it effectively vanishes.

Or the Inquisitions - which were not government censorship. The Inquisitions undertaken by Church officials, who were not part of any government - instead, they represented an unaccountable, transnational authority that governments were largely powerless against.

Does that sound familiar? Our media, speech forums, and distribution systems are all run by cartels and monopolists whom governments can't even tax - forget regulating them.

The most consequential regulation of these industries is negative regulation - a failure to block anticompetitive mergers and market-cornering vertical monopolies.

When governments fail to block the monopolization of speech forums, they're enabling censorship, just not in a way that violates the First Amendment, so we have no recourse and no transparency and no right of action when it happens.

https://locusmag.com/2020/01/cory-doctorow-inaction-is-a-form-of-action/

If we only call something "censorship" when it involves state action, then there's basically no such thing as internet censorship - not because speech is never suppressed, but because under that theory the First Amendment simply does not apply to the internet.

Social media is a duopoly. If neither will admit you, you can't use it. So you start your own site! Cloud computing is also clustered into a handful of companies (with AWS, a major military-intelligence contractor, running >50% of that business).

If they block you, you'll need to host your own server. The majority of data centers are also concentrated into a few hands, too. Oh, so are the domain registrars. And the payment processors. Also the anti-DDoS companies and CDNs. Search is run by one company.

How many companies need to collude to make it impossible for you to have a detectable internet presence? It's less than 50. And really, since losing any part of this stack can be a definitive blocker, it can be as few as two companies (mobile apps), or even one (search).

You won't be completely unlocatable - the Inquisitons didn't seek to snuff out every copy of banned works (indeed, they preserved many of them in their private libraries!) and the PMRC, Comics Authority and MPAA ratings board don't totally eliminate their targeted media.

But your speech will be marginalized and buried in ways that would be totally illegal if this were the result of state action. Only this speech is sidelined due to government *inaction*.

Ironically, the only corner of the networked world where the First Amendment gets a look in is city-run broadband services - the same services that conservatives who have newfound concerns about online censorship deplore as "government intervention in the market."

https://pluralistic.net/2021/01/17/turner-diaries-fanfic/#1a-fiber

40 years of antitrust malpractice created a situation in which censorship is up, speech is perilous, and the First Amendment doesn't apply in either case.

The answer is *not* to impose speech duties on private platforms.

"Fairness doctrines" are why the BBC spent years airing anti-vaxxers and climate deniers every time they had a story about why you should get vaccinated and vote for decarbonization.

Facebook and Twitter have demonstrated far worse editorial judgment than Auntie.

The problem with the tech giants isn't just their bad judgment, it's how consequential their mistakes are. Trying to improve the judgment of the tech companies is a fool's errand, a project without precedent. No one's ever convinced a monopolist to turn benevolent dictator.

If we can't stop the tech giants from making mistakes, at least we can reduce the consequences of their errors by making them smaller. Block mergers. Unwind mergers undertaken on false premises (like FB/IG/WA and Google/YT/Ad/Doubleclick).

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2020/07/dont-believe-proven-liars-absolute-minimum-standard-prudence-merger-scrutiny

Force interoperability upon them as the EU's Digital Services Act and the US ACCESS Act contemplate, then take away their right to block other forms of interoperability:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2019/10/adversarial-interoperability

And for god's sake, stop talking about CDA 230 as an answer to any of this. "You must moderate all your users" is a death sentence to anyone who *doesn't* have an army of moderators - anyone who might challenge FB and Twitter.

For Big Tech, a legal moderation duty is just an excuse to remove any speech that anyone anywhere might complain about: "Sorry we removed your anti-pipeline protest announcement, but we were worried we'd be sued if we didn't."

When the government censors, it's "unconstitutional censorship," but there are other forms of censorship that have always been with us and that we should all be concerned about.

When it comes to communications tech, competition policy is speech policy.

#pluralistic

[aventurasdecassie]

First Post

01/16/2019

When I created this blog I meant to post nightly, so I could remember the events of the day. However, my free time and level of energy at the end of the day is slightly different than what was expected. My new hope now is to make, at minimum, one post a week. Hopefully those who read this blog will prod me with reminders. 

Since this post is being made a week and an half after I arrived in Costa Rica, I will try to include everything important that has happened each day, that I can remember.

01/05/2019

This was the day of my flight. This was the big adventure day, so it is definitely the longest section. The day prior was filled with trips to Walmart and packing. My flight was at 5:15 a.m. in Chicago, and all Google searches suggested arriving three hours prior to my international flight. Since the drive itself was four hours, my parents decided to drive over the night/morning before. The entire family (5) wanted to come, plus my boyfriend, Joe. Originally the 8-seater Suburban would have been our transport, but it had a tantrum the week prior and was out of commission. Unbeknownst to me, Dad had rented a minivan for the trip, just so everyone could still come. We left Independence at 10 p.m.  I was supposed to nap on the way, but the entire day I had butterflies in my stomach, and they weren’t about to calm down so I could sleep.

We arrived at O’Hare at 2 a.m.; right on schedule. After navigating our way to the ticket counters (where I had yet to get my boarding pass as an international traveler) we found no staff in sight and many tired-looking folks spread amongst the area surrounding the counter. I dug into the depths of Google to find when the counter was supposed to open, and finally found it, wildly tucked away; 3:30 a.m. As tired as my parents were, they agreed to stay with me until I was on my way. 

Finally, around 3 a.m., some staff members appeared and started to form the line barriers. My dearest mother kept pushing me to be assertive and weasel my way in line. I figured I would get there one way or another, and was too tired to push elbows. Somehow, even after letting people go ahead of me, I managed to find myself at the front of the line for those traveling internationally. The same thing happened a few minutes later, while waiting in line to hand off my checked bag, when the TSA agent opened the barrier in what we thought was the middle of the line. Hah, take that, Mom. It was just a fun little coincidence to start off my adventure. 

After getting my tickets and dropping off my bag, it was finally time to say goodbye. Dad got some awkward photos, Mom hugged me several times, Joe and I had a quick kiss; and then I was on my own. 

I haven’t flown very much, but the best part (well, the only good part) of flying is takeoff. When you are above the city and everything looks like it was made by tiny ants. The view is even better at night, when you can see the golden veins of the roads beneath you.

Oh, I guess there was one other good part of this flight; I had an exit row seat. My little legs could stretch to their heart’s content. The funniest thing about my row was that all six of us were women under 5′ 5″, while there were a few (salty) 6′ & up men behind us.

I had a quick layover in Fort Lauderdale, where I met several other students also heading to Costa Rica. The second leg of my trip was slightly less enjoyable, as my exit row seat didn’t have a window, and we had a delayed takeoff. Although I wasn’t able to see much of Costa Rica as we landed, I did get a quick snap of some vaguely mountainous terrain from the window behind me.

My flight was supposed to land at 12:15 p.m., which should have given me plenty of time to get through immigration and customs, and meet my program’s (ISA) pickup group at 2 p.m. However, it was not meant to be. Due to the delay, my flight landed around 1 p.m. It then took 20 minutes for people to disembark the plane, as we had landed on the tarmac and needed to take a bus to the terminal. The stairs down to the bus were difficult for even me, let alone the mass of older folks at the front of the plane. At this point I was holding my breath, praying that 40 minutes would be enough time. We got into the terminal, and saw the immigration line. At first I thought it would be pushing the 40 minutes, but then I realized I wasn’t even seeing the end of the line yet. As I started walking to the end, any hope of catching the 2 p.m. van vanished. I finally reached the endpoint, and set about contacting ISA to let them know. Luckily for me, there was a 6 p.m. ISA bus. 

Ultimately, I almost missed that too. I ended up spending a grand total of 3 hours in the immigration line. However, I did end up meeting a new friend, Julia. She was also going to study at Veritas, but was in a different program. We bonded through the line, learning to adapt to the new 80 degree heat; with no water, food, or bathroom opportunities. Finally, we made it to the front. Julia managed to pick a much faster agent, and I lost sight of her shortly after. Not to worry; we had remembered to exchange contact info. She checked back in later to make sure I had made it to my program pick-up alright as well. After the three-hour immigration line, I found my checked bag (rather easy with its bright pink color), and faced a new obstacle: customs. 

Which went really fast. Like, five minutes. The agents barely glanced at the declarations form they had us fill out on the plane, and the lady watching the x-ray machine was chatting with her friend. I had no complaints, as I left the terminal with time to spare until pick-up. 

Leaving the terminal was . . . jarring. In the arrivals area there were, like, a million different people. A ton of taxi drivers asked me if I needed a ride, which became a chorus of “No, pero, gracias” as I made my way down the sidewalk along the terminal. I was told by ISA to gather by a place called Restaurante Malinche, but I could only find a Deli Malinche. I was unsure if it was the same thing, so I wandered like a homeless child up and down the arrival line until my program got back to me that, yes, that was the spot. As I tried to find my way into the cafe, I heard someone yell “Cassandra!” I turned to see two girls, and quickly found out that one of them was my roommate, Emily. We had been SnapChatting each other in the days leading up, and while in line. We waited together for the bus and got to know each other in person. 

Finally, we arrived at the Universidad Veritas at 7 p.m. It had been an incredibly long day(s) with only 1-2 hours of sleep. There were about 20-25 of us on a tour bus, and we were told that our host families would be coming to pick us up from the university. When my and Emily’s names were called, our host parents, Letty and Juan, helped us carry our bags to what I thought would be their car. 

Nope, we walked. About two steps. Our homestay was practically part of campus. 

This has grown to be one of the best parts of this experience thus far. Juan and Letty gave us a quick run-down of house rules (in Spanish, which my half-asleep brain only half-understood), and let us settle in, and sleep.

I know I said I would put all of last week in this post, but obviously it has already become much longer than I intended, and I’m impressed you made it this far (if you didn’t just skim down the post). The first day was one of the most exciting, and was filled with a lot of new experiences. Right now it is about 11 p.m. here, and I have class in the morning. So tomorrow (fingers crossed) I will catch y’all up on the rest of the week.

#studyabroad #isa #international studies abroad #costa rica #aventuras de cassie #first day

[iamvegorott]

A New Virus Chapter 8

Take A Guess

“What did you say to my husband?” Anti asked after glitching into the Iplier home, arms crossed as he glared at Wilford.

“Whatever do you mean?” Wilford asked with fake innocence, taking a very long sip from the cup in his hand.

“I came home from a job and all I see is Dark pacing the living room and muttering names under his breath and something about Annalise.” Anti said. “I wanted to fuck, he was panicking, that kind of ruins the mood.”

“I just told Dark something that I believe is to be true.” Wilford twitched his mustache.

“Host!” Anti shouted, walking out of Wilford’s room. “Host!” He repeated, stepping into the living room and seeing that the other Ipliers were leaving their rooms.

“Did you do something?” Bim asked Host.

“Host is unaware of any wrong doings that he has committed.” Host answered.

“What did Wilford say to Dark at the end of your meeting?” Anti demanded.

“I’m actually curious as well.” Dr. Iplier said.

“Host informs Anti that he actually does not know what the conversation between Dark and Wilford was, due to Wilford blocking him out.” Host explained.

“Willy can do that?” Bing asked.

“Host nods his head, saying that Wilford is only able to do so for a limited time and for certain things. Host adds that if it’s part of a prediction, Wilford can not block him.” Host said.

“Wilford! That’s a dick move!” Anti huffed. “You can’t just cock-block Host!”

“Host takes a step back and moves to behind Dr. Iplier since he was not the biggest fan of Anti’s choice of words.” Host spoke as he moved.

“I would like to suggest that you just ask Dark what’s bothering him.” Google said.

“I tried, but he’s fucking traumatized or something. I’m not a very patient virus and I wanted to see if I could get answers for the fucker who caused it instead of waiting for my husband to come back to reality.” Anti was now glaring at Wilford.

“Guess you’ll just have to use that limited patience that you have.” Wilford said with a grin and a shrug.

“You’re an ass.” Anti pouted.

“Love you too, dear.” Wilford laughed as Anti flipped him off and vanished in a cloud of green pixels. “Now that daddy dearest is gone, let’s have a party!” Wilford clapped his hands and went away as well.

“What am I missing?” Bim asked, getting blank stares as a response.

“How long does it take to get used to that!?” Chase groaned when he and the other Septiceyes appeared in the living room with Wilford.

“I keep telling you, you have to focus on one spot and you won’t get sick.” Marvin sighed.

“Chase struggles with concentration.” Dr. Schneepelstein stated.

“Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages!” Wilford cheered loudly as he jumped on top of the couch. “I have a special announcement for all of you and it involves out dear, sweet, Annie.”

“Is Ann in trouble!?” Jackieboy looked like he was ready to pounce.

“The offspring is in danger!?” Reporter Jim yelled while Cameraman Jim starting jumping with worry.

“Let’s just say that she’s come down with something.” Wilford chuckled, seeing that both Dr. Iplier and Dr. Schneepelstein stiffened.

“Do we need to get medicine.” Dr. Iplier asked.

“Does she need surgery?” Dr. Schneepelstein pulled out a scalpel.

“She has a bug.” Wilford was enjoying himself too much as now Bing and Google both widened their eyes.

“Is she suffering from a glitch?” Google pulled out several screens.

“Is she getting hacked!?” Bing ran out of the house, none of the other egos bothering to stop him.

“It’s a love bug!” Wilford laughed as the egos all started to yell at him.

“We thought she was hurt!” Marvin shouted.

“She’s seventeen, she has a crush, that’s so shocking.” Bim huffed.

“She’s brought boys home before, this is nothing new.” Chase had his arms crossed.

“Actually, this is new.” Wilford sang, getting all of the egos' attention again. “She has a crush, on one of us.” Wilford had a large smile on his lips while the egos began to debate.

“Has she been showing any extra interest in one of us?” Google asked, researching the signs of a crush.

“I’ll give you guys a hint.” Wilford hopped off of the couch. “It’s an Iplier.”

“I was actually expecting it to be a Septiceye.” Bim said.

“She does tend to favor Anti over Dark for most things.” Dr. Iplier said.

“The virus demon seems to be the favorite.” Reporter Jim added and Cameraman Jim nodded with agreement.

“There is no such thing as a favorite parent!” Chase snapped, his sudden anger a little shocking to the others. The Jims yelped when Chase raised his voice and they hid behind the couch, Wilford patting them on the heads when they settled.

“It’s not really ‘favoritism’.” Google stated. “It’s similar to the case of a son being more attached to their father while a daughter would be more attached to their mother since they understand personal problems that the other would not get such as menstruation with women or genital understanding with males. Annalise is a virus, Anti is a virus, Dark is not. She’s not favoring Anti, she just knows that Anti understands certain problems that Dark does not know from first-hand experience.”

“You could have just said ‘Anti gets her’.” Chase huffed.

“Who cares if it’s a Septiceye or an Iplier, what matters is who is it?” Bim looked at Wilford.

“Where’s the fun in me just telling you?” Wilford plopped down on the couch, crossing his legs.

“I know it’s not you, your attitude would be different if it was.” Dr. Iplier stated.

“Maybe she’s in love with a doctor?” Chase suggested.

“Me?” Dr. Iplier pointed at himself.

“Do you know how many romance novels there are that involve doctors? There are so many corny names for the titles too. ‘Dr. Love-heart’ or ‘Dr. Heart-throb’ and the taglines; ‘He can cure anything but his own broken heart’.”

“Why do you know so much about those?” Dr. Schneepelstein asked.

“I have a wife who hasn’t touched me in three years.” Chase stated, the room going silent and Marvin awkwardly shifting his weight from one foot to the other.

“It can’t be Dr. Iplier.” Bim broke the silence. “Annalise hates the hospital and has a needle phobia.”

“She doesn’t like shots.” Dr. Schneepelestein corrected.

“‘I don’t want liquids put in me nor do I want my liquids taken away’.” Host quoted.

“That just sounded weird coming out of your mouth.” Chase commented.

“Could it be Host?” Dr. Iplier suggested.

“Host may not be able to tell who exactly it is, but he is able to read that it is not him.” Host said.

“It can’t be the Jims, she sees them as children.” Marvin said, pointing with a thumb at the twins, who were now peering over the couch.

“Is Annalise in love with a devilishly handsome game show host?” Bim asked with a chuckle, adjusting his tie.

“I’m just going to be blunt with that one and say ‘no’.” Wilford said in a teasing tone.

“Oh, thank God.” Bim groaned. “I do not need Dark on my ass.”

“Is it Google?” Jackieboy asked as everyone looked at the search engine.

“He is the most like Dark.” Marvin said.

“Very factual and straight to the point.” Bim added.

“It’s not me.” Google stated.

“It can’t be Google.” Chase said. “Annalise’s favorite part about Dark is when he’s having fun. When he’s smiling and being carefree.”

“She does seem a lot happier when Dark is.” Dr. Iplier agreed.

“And all of the boys she has brought home are a little more on the ‘chill’ side.” Bim said.

“If it’s not the blue robot, who is it?” Reporter Jim asked, leaning over the couch and speaking into his microphone.

“Host has just realized that all of the egos have forgotten one of us.” Host’s shoulders slumped.  

“Hey, Googs. I think my maps need an update. I ended up at an ice-cream place.” Bing said as he walked back into the house, dropping his cone when everyone in the house yelled.

“Bing!?”  

Tag List: @readeatfightlove13 @kenzie-110101 @kaner-va @fandom-trash1214 @sophs0ph @pixelenchanter @snickerz171 @fuck-im-emo @coffee-in-sweaters @burningpeachdelusionofchaos @butterlover328 @yayngie @neko-ereri

#danti #poor bing

[mincapella]

Some Dogs for the Soul

-------------------------------------------------------------

It was cold out, the sound of snow being crushed underfoot was the only thing to be heard  besides the small intakes of breath by the elder robot. He was heading straight towards a gray building, the cries of animals growing louder with every footstep. He was nervous on the inside, but he didn’t let it show, keeping his head held high and his eyes sharp and determined.

He finally made his way to the front door, and took in a deep breath before pushing the door open. He was instantly greeted with the sounds of happy animals and a gust of warm air flowing around him. He glanced around at the caged animals, and nodded to himself. Getting the dog was the easy part.

It was confronting Bing afterwards that would be difficult.

-----------------------

Google was walking home with a leash in hand, on the other end was a border collie. Known for being the smartest dog breed in the world, he would complement Google nicely. Currently, Google was making a mental note of things the dog that he had dubbed as Sammy would need. Dog food, a bowl, a new collar, a nametag for the collar, toys, the list was endless. He would worry about that tomorrow, though, he could just use the cheap bowl that the pound gave him and some of Bing’s dog food tonight.

What he needed to worry about was Bing, and how he would react.

When Bing had brung home a black lab, everyone had been so happy. Even Google had shown a small, rare smile and it had brung Bing so much joy. But it didn’t last long, and soon Google was the same, stoic person he had always been. But Bing? No, Bing had somehow gotten even happier. It made Google jealous, and it was obvious.

Google wasn’t jealous of Bing having a dog, no, that wasn’t it. He was jealous that Bing had become so happy. Happiness was something that Google never truly felt, and it brought him nothing but anger. He was loved for being a perfect search engine, always useful, but Bing was loved as a person. He was just so happy all the time, and Google couldn’t understand it.

Google wasn’t trying to get a dog to one-up Bing, it was the complete opposite of that, really. He wanted to be more like Bing. He wanted to be able to be happy, and he was certain that getting a dog was the way to do so. He already had fallen in love with the way it was so curious about everything, and he knew a curious mind would lead to a smarter person, or in this case, dog.

Before he knew it, Google was standing in front of the mansion where they all lived under the protection of Dark. He knew Dark wouldn’t mind, after all, he was more concerned with keeping Dark Chica happy to care about a few new dogs. He also knew Dark couldn’t do anything about it because if he did, he would have to deal with Wil, and nobody messes with anything Wil cares about. It seemed that Wil had already bonded with Maggie, Bings dog, and there was no getting in the way of that.

Google took a deep breath, and opened the door, letting Sammy run inside. He heard a happy squeal from someone, who he presumed to be Wil, and shut the door behind him. He glanced around, trying to see if Bing was around, but it seemed only Host and Wil were around.

“Google! I love your dog! What’s their name? What kind of dog are they? Oh, it doesn’t matter! We’ve got three dogs, and that’s all that matters! Maybe we can convince the others to get even more dogs and we’ll have a whole dog party-”

“The Host believes that Wilford should be quiet, and allow Google to go discuss things with his brother. After all, isn’t that why you got a dog?” The Host interrupted, much to the relief of Google.

“Yes, thank you. We can discuss this later, Wilford. I do believe, as expensive as it may be, that having more dogs would be enjoyable.”

Wil put on a pouty face, but the twinkle in his eye showed that he wasn’t really upset. Google nodded to Wil, and called Sammy to his side. Luckily, the dog had already been trained, and seemed to respond to any name at the moment.

Google made his way to the stairs, where beyond them lied Bing’s room, where he was surely playing with Maggie, as he had been doing all week. He slowly climbed them, taking much more time than was necessary, and paused. Sammy ran right into the backs of his legs, and let out a distressed yelp.

Google glanced behind him, thankful to see that Sammy was okay, and took a breath to calm himself. He might not have had a heart, but he still had emotions, and right now the only thing he was feeling was the overwhelming feeling of nervousness. Last time he had talked one-on-one to Bing, it resulted in him nearly ripping out his emotion processor the next day. Google could only hope this wasn’t going to turn out the same way this time.

He continued up the stairs, and attempted to compose himself before knocking on Bing’s door. He heard Maggie bark, and Bing’s laughter, as well as someone scrambling to get up, before Bing opened the door, nothing but smiles.

That instantly vanished, though, as soon as he laid eyes on Google, and turned into a frown when he noticed the dog behind him. Google cleared his throat, and opened his mouth to speak.

“I-I was hoping you would allow me in your room for a moment, so we could talk.” Google winced at the stutter, and he hoped Bing hadn’t noticed. Bing only moved to the side so that Google and his dog could step inside.

Google sat down awkwardly on the floor, and Bing sat down in a chair across from him. Google looked down at the wooden floor, unable to bring himself to stare at his furious brother. Bing, on the other hand, had no difficulty at all looking directly at his brother, not saying a word, but the anger was rolling off him in waves. A few moments of silence passed, seemingly so unbearable for Google. He took another deep breath; how many of those had he taken today? He couldn’t remember; and looked up at Bing. He opened his mouth to say something, but was quickly cut off.

“I can’t believe you.”

Google lowered his head again, the feeling of guilt quickly overtaking his feeling of nervousness. He never had been the nicest brother, and he probably wasn’t going to be for a long time. He knew this, he wouldn’t try to deny it. His brother had every right to be angry at him.

“I can’t believe you would go this far to try and one-up me.”

Google’s head shot up, eyes wide as he quickly tried to find the right words. Bing seemed to notice this and tensed up.

“Shut up! Don’t you dare say anything! I’m tired of you constantly silencing me! I’m tired of you constantly trying to be better than me! So just do me a favor and listen for once!” Bing screams, starting to shake. Google, still wide-eyed, just nods.

“I get it, you know. You’re the better search engine, I’m not, and I won’t ever be, I get it! I hear what you say. I hear what the others say. That ‘I’m not a real ego, and you don’t even know why I’m around’. You’re not slick.

“I got a dog because apparently a dog was the only thing that respected me. And for once, you guys actually seemed to care,” Bing’s voice cracked. “and I felt important. And now here you are trying to one-up me again. I thought you might’ve stopped when I attempted to rip my emotion processor out, but no, you have to go and pull this.”

Bing falls silent, and he lowers his head, shaking even harder. He reaches up to, what Google assumes, wipe tears away, but his glasses stopped him from doing so. There’s a brief period of silence, and Google draws in a quick breath.

“I’m not trying to one-up you. At least, not this time.”

Bing’s head shoots up, and his breathing becomes shaky.

“What.”

Google pauses. “I said I’m not trying to one-up you.”

“I know, you already said that. I guess a better question would be why. Why would you get a dog, if not to one-up me?”

Google awkwardly shifted, and Bing started tapping his foot impatiently. Sammy, who had sat down next to Google, whined a little bit. Maggie just laid on the bed, obviously wanting to go to Sammy, but a look from Bing kept her still.

“You seemed so happy with Maggie, and I got jealous. My happiness sensor was set to malfunction the moment I was created. You, on the other hand, were always so happy all the time, and you got even happier when you got Maggie. I thought that if I got a dog, I would be happy. This isn’t meant to one-up you. I just wanted to be happy.

“I know I haven’t been the best brother; far from it, actually. It is true, I am the superior search engine,” Bing tensed up. “but, you are the superior person. Everyone likes you, you know. They may say mean things, but at the end of the day, you’re the favorite. I don’t want to take that from you. I just want to be happy.

“I’m not asking you to forgive me, but I am asking you to bear with me through this.”

Google finished, lowering his head once more. Bing sighed, and stood up. He walked over to Google, and crouched down in front of Google.

“I’m not going to forgive you. Yet. You were a horrible brother. But let’s make a deal. I’ll help you with Sammy since you can barely take care of another human, much less a dog, and you work on becoming a better brother,  okay?”

Google tensed, and Bing sat down. He knew Bing was right, he didn’t really know how to take care of a dog despite being a sentient search engine. Looking up answers and actually doing them were two different things. He sighed.

“Alright. Fine.”

Bing smiled, and offered a hand out to help Google up.

“Alright! So where shall we begin? What kind of things do you need?”

Before he had a chance to answer, Bing had already run out the door, Maggie on his heels and Sammy close behind. Google could do nothing but sigh.

Bing confused him. One minute he was blowing up in your face; thankfully not literally; and the next he was his bouncing happy self again. Google walked out the door, shutting it behind him, and tried to drown out Wilford and Bing’s loud conversation downstairs.

“The Host thinks you did a good job, although you still have a long way to go.”

A sudden voice beside him made him jump, and small chuckle came from Host. Google just rolled his eyes, and went downstairs to join Bing and Wilford. It was going to be a long day, but maybe, it might be bearable for once.

------------------------------

@dorkstache​ did i save crisismas yet

lol anyways this was 1,908 words, which is a ton for my fics honeslty how do people do this

i needed some robro fluff in my life and didn’t achieve that. “IM GONNA WRITE FLUFF HERDEDUR” i say as i make this heckin mess

anyways enjoy y’all

#googiplier #is that the right tag?? idk #bingiplier #wils in here too i guess #my works

[blogbuzrushmarketingcommuni-blog]

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[twooldguysemporium]

Tips On How To Do Magic Tricks For Free!

Title: Tips On How To Do Magic Tricks For Free!

  Summary: I’m often asked what the best way to start to learn how to do magic tricks would be, and although it can be different from person to person, I’m sure I can provide a few hints and tips that may help and probably more importantly, – what you should try to avoid.

I think the most important thing to do when just starting to dabble in magic, is to learn a few simple magic tricks that can be done without having to use any gimmicked apparatus or special props. I mean magic trick…

Article Body: I’m often asked what the best way to start to learn how to do magic tricks would be, and although it can be different from person to person, I’m sure I can provide a few hints and tips that may help and probably more importantly, – what you should try to avoid.

I think the most important thing to do when just starting to dabble in magic, is to learn a few simple magic tricks that can be done without having to use any gimmicked apparatus or special props. I mean magic tricks that can be done using ordinary items that can often be borrowed and handed out for examination after the miracle has been performed.

This can be really stunning for any lay audience, as they are so used to seeing magic tricks and illusions on TV and video, where fancy and often expensive props are used and also where camera tricks and clever editing are used to create a more exciting TV program.

I’m sure you’re well aware that most magic can be purchased from reputable magic suppliers and you’ll also know that the cost of most magical secrets is usually very high. (Often very expensive)

So how can you possibly learn how to do magic tricks without spending a great deal of money for these secrets and when most top magicians will just not explain how their magic tricks are done.

Most magicians first started to do magic tricks after receiving a small magic set, but unfortunately the typical magic set is usually made up totally of “self-working” tricks, with trick cards and boxes etc., none of which can be examined by the audience after the trick has been shown, and so there’s the problem and worry of having to hide your tricks as soon as you finish each one.

For a beginner this creates a problem, especially among friends and classmates, who are always desperate to examine the magical props and try to find out “how it’s done”.

So that’s why I suggest learning some simple magic tricks with ordinary everyday objects that can often be borrowed and then freely handed out for examination. Ordinary everyday items like coins, pens, banknotes and such like, appear to be beyond any suspicion of trickery and doing magical things with them is so very effective and yet often very simple.

This really adds tremendously to the magic and of course, as most professional magicians will tell you, – “the simple effects are the ones that are usually the most stunning to the audience and in my experience, get the best response”.

Some of the best items to use to amaze your friends are coins, banknotes, pens, rope etc. and there are a few basic skills that are so easy to learn and will very quickly allow you to vanish and exchange coins and several small objects.

  One of these basic skills is known as the “French Drop”, which is what all magicians use to vanish and exchange small items like coins, keys, balls etc. So I would certainly recommend that one of the first things that you should practice, as a beginner, is just that (French Drop) and coupled with the simple Palming of a coin.

This will allow you to carry out a nice magic routine with borrowed coins etc. and will leave you “Clean” at the end of the effects. It will also get you out of difficulty when you are expected to do something magical.

This is magic that requires no props or fancy apparatus and there are now many great magical Websites where you can learn hosts of magic tricks for free.

In fact I set up my own Magic Website with the soul purpose of passing on my experience and knowledge to help all those eager would-be magicians to enjoy the sheer joy and pleasure of performing magic and entertaining others.

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[iamvegorott]

A Small Glitch Chapter 6

Yes!

“Yes, I’ll be sure to invite you over to see Annalise,” Dark said into the phone, leaning his elbow against his desk. “She just got frightened is all.” The demon chuckled a little as he stood up. “She doesn’t hate you. If she can get over the fact that her fathers are creatures from another dimension. One of them being a literal virus and the other one being gray with a large aura glowing behind him. I think she can handle a man with a pink mustache.” Dark went to the office door, opening it. “Maybe tomorrow. Anti and I were planning on having a quiet Friday night.” Dark gently closed the door behind him. “I’ll let you know when you can come visit. Goodbye, Wilford.”

“Three apple, four apple.” Dark was putting his phone away when he saw Annalise sitting in front of the coffee table, counting apple slices as she put them into a bowl.

“I’m shocked that you have pants on,” Dark commented as Anti walked past him.

“I’m sure they don’t wanna see my junk.” Anti placed a bowl of chips on the coffee table.

“‘They’?”

“Septics!” Annalise clapped her hands.

“Did I forget to tell you that the Septiceyes are coming over?” Anti asked with a smile.

“A warning would have been pleasant.” Dark huffed, crossing his arms when there was a knock.

“Well, you got your warning. Come in!” Anti called.

“I heard someone’s got a surprise for us?” Chase called back as he opened the door.

“Ze good docta is here!” Dr. Schneeplestein pushed his way past Chase.

“And Jackieboy man!” The superhero announced as he charged in.  

“I’ll go get some refreshments.” Dark sighed.

“So what’s the-is that a child!?” Marvin gasped.

“Kitty!” Annalise got up and walked over to the magician. “You kitty!”

“What’s your name?” Chase asked as he sat down on the ground. Annalise looked over at Anti and the glitch nodded.

“I Annalise.”

“I’m Chase.” Chase held a hand out towards Annalise, smiling when the little girl giggled and slapped his palm.

“High-five!” Annalise cheered as she tapped the hand several more times.

“I would like to know how you produced a child without our knowledge.” Dr. Schneeplestein asked while Marvin, Jackieboy, and Chase were both playing with Annalise.

“We adopted her about a month ago,” Anti said.

“And why haven’t we been told about this little princess?” Chase poked at Annalise’s nose, earning a giggle.

“Someone didn’t want me to tell anyone.”

“I wanted to wait until we were sure this was a permanent thing.” Dark protested as he entered the living room, a tray of glasses in his hands. He sat the tray on the coffee table, taking two glasses and handing one to Anti when he went back to him.

“Where kitty?” Annalise started searching the room, looking under the couch.

“Marvin?” Anti called out. “Marvin where-”

“Wanna see a magic trick?” Marvin rushed out of Dark’s office, holding a large briefcase.

“Is that the briefcase with the…” Anti cursed as he and Dark rushed over to the magician.

“Wait!” Dark and Anti both stopped and stared when the briefcase vanished in a puff of white smoke.

“Marvin, you dumbass!” Anti snapped, grabbing Marvin by the front of the shirt. “That was a million dollars you just made go away!” Annalise shrunk away, going behind Chase to hide.

“A million!?” Dr. Schneeplestein gasped. “Where does one get that kind of money?”

“That’s a lot.” Jackieboy nodded his head.

“Bring it back!” Dark demanded, not hearing Annalise whimper.

“I can, I can. Very easily, just let me go.” Marvin was obviously shaken when he stumbled a little after being released. “I...I…” Marvin’s hands were trembling.

“No, be sad, kitty.” Annalise went over to Marvin and hugged his leg. Dark was about to say something but stopped when he saw Marvin’s hands glowing. The magician chuckled a little before clapping his hands, the briefcase reappearing on the coffee table. “Yay!” Annalise cheered.

“I have no idea what that was, but that was amazing!” Marvin laughed, his hands no longer glowing. “This house must have a magical source in it or something?”

“Daddy magic too,” Annalise said, she walked over to Anti and held her arms up. “No yelling?” Her eyes were wide as she asked.

“I’m sorry, Ann. We must have scared you.” Anti said as he scooped his daughter up. “No more yelling.” He sniffed and made a face. “Your turn.” Was all Anti said as he handed Dark Annalise.

“Why does potty training take so long?” Dark grumbled as he walked away.

“She’s not potty trained yet? She should at least be in pull-ups.” Dr. Schneeplestein stated.

“We’re trying. She’s a lot better than when we first got her, it’s like she’s scared of the toilet or something.” Anti said, going over to his couch and sitting.

“My kids took a while to potty train,” Chase said, joining Anti. “She’ll get the hang of it eventually.” He added with a back pat.

“Thanks.” Anti chuckled, seeing that Marvin, Jackieboy and Dr. Schneeplestein had found the snacks and were helping themselves.

“I’m shocked you don’t have a ring yet,” Chase said.

“A ring?” Anti raised a brow.

“You and Dark aren’t married yet. You two live together and got a kid and yet, no ring.” Chase leaned back against the couch. “Smart move.”

“Aren’t you married?” Anti asked.

“Eh.” Chase shrugged. “If you wanna call it that.” He started to pick his fingers. “I don’t know what happened, but the moment we got married, everything went to shit. The best thing to come out of that was our kids.” Anti swallowed thickly as Chase spoke. “It was great when we were just boyfriend and girlfriend, but it got weird when we started calling each other ‘fiance’. Something broke. It was like the magic that was there just faded away.” Anti did not like the ball of anxiety that was forming in his chest. “Stacy just kind of stopped caring about us. She didn’t want to be with me as much anymore. It’s like she got sick of me the moment the ring went on. Everything just kind of faded over time. I still love her and the kids...but sometimes it’s hard to stay where you’re not wanted.” Chase chewed on his lip, he looked at Anti and saw the fear in his eyes. He suddenly smiled and lightly shoved Anti by the shoulder. “Perk up, man. Like hell that’s gonna happen to you.”

“Yeah…” Anti stared at the ground as Chase got up.

“How about you tell us how you got the million dollars, that’s a shit ton of dough.” Chase picked up a glass and downed it.

“Glitchers,” Anti said, getting up and joining the other Septiceyes.

“How many?” Marvin asked.

“Two.”

“I bet that was most fun.” Dr. Schneeplestein chuckled.

“A little more than it should have,” Anti muttered,

“I’ll see you soon,” Dark said into his phone as he came back into the living room, Annalise walking in front of him.

“Who were you talking too?” Anti asked.

“You’ll find out.” Dark chuckled.

“Wha-”

“Ain’t no party like a Wilford party!” Wilford shouted after kicking open the front door.

“You can’t party without a host!” Bim chuckled.

“Let’s rock this shit!” Bing made shooting sounds with his mouth while Google walked behind him, clearly annoyed. Host said nothing as he entered as well, the Jim twins crouching behind his legs.

“Dark...what am I missing?” Anti asked.

“I just wanted everyone to be here while I asked you something,” Dark said, waiting for everyone to get into the living room.

“Ask me what?” Anti stiffened when Dark pulled out a small box.

“Holy shit!” Chase cursed, slapping at Marvin’s shoulder.

“I knew it.” Wilford sang, wrapping his arms around Bim and squealing.

“Anti...” Dark chewed at his lip. “I never have been one for emotions. I honestly believed that I didn’t really have them or at least, I didn’t have positive ones.” Anti felt his lower lip tremble. “I never knew what happiness was until you came into my life. We started off as enemies, hating each other from our cores and all of the hatred lead to a night that I will never forget. I thought you were going to leave. That it was a one-time thing, but when you showed up at the Iplier house, face red from embarrassment and you kissed me. I knew this was more than just a fling. We built a home together, we built a life together. We made a family.”

Dark took in a deep breath before going down on one knee, more sounds erupted for the other egos. “I used to believe that I would never know what love felt like. That love was for the weak and it would only get in the way. I was wrong. I know what love is. I know that it only makes me stronger. I love you, Anti.” Dark held up the box and opened it up, revealing a golden ring. “Will you marry me?”

Anti was frozen. He only stared. Was this really happening? There was no way that Dark was doing this? Anti didn’t know whether to throw up, cry, or scream with joy. What if what Chase said was true. What if marriage ruined everything? He didn’t want to lose Dark. Not after everything that has happened. After everything, they’ve been through. He didn’t want him to go.

“Dark…” Anti saw the hope in Dark’s eyes, the worry, the prayer he was probably repeating in his head over and over as each second ticked by that he didn’t answer. Anti slowly smiled, seeing that it was making Dark do the same. Chase was wrong. He was not Chase. “Yes.” Anti voice was very soft. “Yes! Yes! Yes!” He exclaimed, throwing himself down and hugging Dark, both of them falling over. “Yes,” Anti said again, giving Dark a kiss.

“Save that for the honeymoon, you two.” Wilford chuckled.

“You’re supposed to wait?” Anti said with a smirk.

“Happy!” Annalise giggled, going over to her dads and hugging them.

“Happy.” Dark laughed as he was helped to his feet, continuing as cheers of joy filled the house.

Everything was happy. Everything was great. Nothing could ruin this. Nothing could take this away.

Nothing.

Tag List: @readeatfightlove13 @kenzie-110101

#danti #took them long enough #happy #for now...