#god i'm so sorry for saying slag but it's so fucking true

[fartemis-crock]

25/100

You never realize how much/little TV you watch until you fill out a list. Put a 👍 by the shows which you have watched more than 10 episodes. How about you?

1. Grey’s Anatomy:

2. Stranger Things:

3. The Vampire Diaries:

4. The Walking Dead: 👍

5. Fear The Walking Dead:

6. Dexter:  

7. American Horror Story:

8. Orange is the New Black:

9. A Million Little Things:

10. This is Us:

11. The Simpsons: 👍

12. New Amsterdam:

13. Manifest:

14. How To Get Away With Murder:

15. Breaking Bad:  

16. Sons of Anarchy:

17. Scandal:  

18. Riverdale:

19. The Good Doctor:

20. House of Cards:

21. Once Upon a Time: 👍 [the first season is so good. the rest is so cringe]

22. House: 👍

23. True Detective:

24. Dr. Pimple Popper:

25. Power:

26. Empire:

27. One Tree Hill:

28. Supernatural:

29. Family Guy:   👍  

30. Santa Clarita Diet:

31. Shameless:

32. Pretty Little Liars:

33. Secret Life of an American Teenager:

34. Bones:👍

35. Criminal Minds:

36. The 100:

37. Chicago Fire:

38. Chicago Med:

39. The Resident:

40. Game of Thrones: 👍

41. Chicago PD:

42. It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia:   

43. Lost:

44. The Sopranos:  

45. NCIS:

46. NCIS Los Angeles:

47. NCIS New Orleans:

48. Law & Order SVU:

49. Gossip Girl:

50. How I Met Your Mother: 👍

51. Blue Bloods:

52. Two Broke Girls: 👍

53. The Office: 👍

54. Blacklist:

55. Full House: 👍

56. Fuller House: 

57. Downton Abbey:

58. Hawaii Five-O:

59. Big Mouth:   👍  

60. Last Man Standing: 👍

61. Six Feet Under:

62. Wentworth:

63. Friends: 👍

64. That 70s Show: 👍

65. Girlfriends Guide to Divorce:

66. Heartland:

67. All-American:

68. Greek:

69. Yellowstone:

70. Better Call Saul:

71. You:

72. Rescue Me:

73. Scrubs: 👍 👍 👍 👍 👍 👍

74. Community: 👍

75. Letterkenny:

76. Kitchen Nightmares :   👍  

77. The Masked singer:  

78. Robot Chicken:  

79. Vikings:

80. Mind Hunter:

81. New Girl:

82. The Good Place: 👍

83. Black Mirror:

83. Lucifer:

84. Peaky Blinders:

85. iZombie:

86. Parks and Rec: 👍

87. Brooklyn 99:

88. Handmaid’s Tale:   👍  

89. Modern Family: 👍

90. Smallville:

91. Seinfeld: 👍 👍 👍 👍

92. Gilmore Girls: 👍

93. Charmed: 👍

94. Private Practice:

95. Lost Girl:

96. True Blood:

97. Roswell:

98. Haven:

99. Mad Men:    

100. Arrow:

Copy & paste with your answers, and change score at the top.

Tagged by: @ladyofthespade

Tagging: @crashedthemode, @yellowskinnedwackyman, && honestly whoever else cause i can’t think of any more urls that haven’t already done it just @ me pls

#OOC: [[b i t c h me too the f u-]] #encase you can't tell!! i'm a freaking slag for situational comedies #god i'm so sorry for saying slag but it's so fucking true

[punkscowardschampions]

Jac & Amelia

Jac: Are you okay? My parents would've paid for a cab if they weren't sober enough to drive you back Amelia: My dad was [somewhere nearby cos JJ live in town] Jac: Oh, right Jac: you seized your opportunity then, alright Jac: Is still should've gone with to make sure Amelia: I didn't want her to, she was in too excitable a mood Jac: lol, can't really fault you that Jac: you got a headache, yeah? Amelia: I got the aura so I knew it was time to leave, last time I ignored that I was sick everywhere Jac: That's fair Jac: you do not want that unless you've had a really wild night Amelia: sorry I didn't say bye Jac: well that's okay, if you didn't have time Jac: we were just worried Amelia: is Is okay? I was probably a bit rude to her Jac: Don't worry, she seems fine Jac: you know her Amelia: yeah Amelia: alright cool Jac: make sure you stay hydrated, yeah Jac: and no more screentime Amelia: I'll 😴 it off if I can Jac: Sounds like a plan 🙂 Amelia: it sounds 😕 but I couldn't stay Jac: you can't help that you get migraines Jac: it must be so crap for you Amelia: we've all got crap to deal with Amelia: I wouldn't swap Sav for hers Jac: 😢 I know Jac: she deals so well, considering how fresh it all is Amelia: Where's her boyfriend at? It's not technically a night you can get away with chucking fireworks at your mates or cars Jac: Out on the lash with his mates Jac: or something Amelia: very supportive Jac: yeah, I know Jac: oh well, she had us Amelia: you, you mean Jac: are you not her friend too? Amelia: that's up for debate, but she'd win it over me Amelia: so it probably depends what she wants the answer to be Amelia: and who's asking Jac: She definitely views you as a friend Amelia: okay Jac: No, come on, you don't think she does? Amelia: I know she doesn't Jac: Why do you think that? Amelia: I know it because she's said a handful of words to me lately & all of them are in some way bitchy or patronising Jac: How many have you said to her? Jac: and how nice have you been to her? Amelia: I don't like her, I'm not going to act like I do Jac: Then the issue is a you thing, isn't it Jac: Savannah does like you, and it's not really on to say you know otherwise, simply because that's how you feel about her Amelia: no, it's a me and her clash Amelia: it isn't one-sided Jac: Okay, if you say so Jac: but I don't see her trying to start anything with you, and like I said, I've told you she's told me privately that she likes you Jac: she knows you aren't her biggest fan though Amelia: she would say that to you Jac: Now you're being ridiculous Amelia: no I'm not, she wants me to look like I'm the dickhead and it's clearly working Jac: well no, what she wants is friends who can support her through this tough time and not make her life any more shit Jac: I really do not think she has the time, never mind the desire, to play games to make you look like some kind of villain ??? Jac: we seriously do not need to be that dramatic about things Amelia: fine Jac: it clearly isn't but I'm not going to agree with you Jac: you're not feeling well right now, you're just lashing out Amelia: you sound as patronising as her now Jac: for giving you an excuse for your behaviour? Jac: it's being gracious Amelia: I don't need to be fucking excused Amelia: I haven't done anything wrong Jac: You're being rude to Savannah and now you're being rude to me Jac: you're attacking and saying you're being attacked Jac: just calm down and we can come back to this when you aren't in such a state Amelia: yeah because she's the only one whose dramatics you indulge Amelia: I haven't been rude to her, I've made an effort Amelia: it doesn't change my opinion Jac: You're accusing her of having some plot right now, also of not liking you, being bitchy and patronising...yeah, that's rude, Amelia Jac: and oddly enough, when she went off crying, it was not about you Jac: call it dramatics if you want, but I'd say her home life situation warrants more empathy and listening to than whatever this idea, about us being against you or something, that you've concocted does Amelia: I'm not on her radar when she isn't subtly slagging me off or wishing I'd fuck off, obviously it wasn't about me Amelia: the latter is way less subtle though Jac: You're right in that I'm not indulging this Jac: you're just wrong, that's it Jac: but if you won't listen to reason, and me, then there's nothing else I can do to change your mind Amelia: you wanting me to be wrong doesn't make me wrong Jac: you having no proof for her dislking you, bar the fact you dislike her, doesn't make it true Jac: if you want to walk around thinking people have a problem with you when they don't, that's your call Jac: it's sad but it's clearly an internal issue Amelia: there's proof in every group chat if you want to go back & read it Jac: the fact you're in a group chat together, to plan to do stuff, to talk, kinda negates that Amelia: no it doesn't Jac: totally, when you hate someone and want them to fuck off, you choose to spend time talking to them when you don't have to Amelia: she doesn't spend any time talking to me Jac: well it isn't a private chat Jac: do you expect her to ignore me and Is? Jac: if you wanna have a 1x1 she'd be more than happy, like Amelia: Oh, she ignores Is plenty Amelia: but that's not my fight to have Jac: 🙄 I can assure you, we understand how DMs work Jac: if we wanted to talk just us, we would, and do Jac: and Is seems fine to me, like I said Amelia: great Jac: 🤷 okay then Amelia: 👋 Jac: I hope you feel better when you wake up Amelia: thanks Jac: Night Amelia: goodnight Jac: [hope you do go to sleep so you don't see those gay ass stories] Amelia: [you know she will because she's not actually sick soz gal] Jac: [i mean, you do have 24 hours so bit of a long shot when you're this in love lol] Amelia: [everyone gonna be seeing it including Ty who has been lowkey ignored all night as well] Amelia: [we should say she writes something but then deletes it so Jac only knows she deleted it for the sheer gay drama of it] Jac: [none of y'all got invites to this sleepover, but yes 1000%] Jac: ? Amelia: 🤨 Jac: butt-dial? Amelia: why would I be sitting on my phone? Amelia: I'm not thrashing about with a 🤒 Jac: I don't know why you'd delete a message either Jac: unless you sent me something really 💦 meant for someone else, in which case I wanna know anyway Amelia: I can nurse myself Amelia: though there are loads of lads who would put me to sleep Jac: 🙀 Amelia! Amelia: no Amelia: 🥱 NOT whatever you're thinking Jac: Sure 😉😂 Amelia: 😣 Jac: So grouchy Jac: I'd know if you were texting someone Amelia: would you? Jac: of course Jac: what secret have you ever kept from me? Amelia: I didn't need to before Jac: you don't need to now Jac: you aren't going to shock me with your thirst Amelia: I'm staying hydrated like you instructed Amelia: there's nothing to tell, which is why I pressed delete Jac: What did you say? Amelia: if I repeat it there was literally no point in deleting it Amelia: so no, nothing Jac: Well why did you? Amelia: because it's 😳 Jac: how 😳 can it be Jac: we've known each other at our most cringe Amelia: that was us both being awkward not just me making a massive tit of myself Jac: rude Jac: you're meant to disagree Amelia: alright, I'll lie Jac: you're already being very sneaky, you may as well Amelia: okay Jac: no, tell me, dickhead! Amelia: rude Jac: you're rude Jac: you know you can't just take back a message Amelia: I have & I win Jac: you can't do it without leaving evidence Jac: and I'm not just going to drop it Amelia: 🙄 Jac: why are you saying shit to my virtual face then Amelia: how else am I supposed to speak to you? Jac: I'm not going to apparate into your room 'cos you fancy having a go Jac: don't be a baby, what did you say Amelia: maybe I was saying sorry but you're so undeserving I took it back Amelia: that'd be fitting Jac: oh right, your whole conspiracy theory Jac: you forgot for a hot sec you believed in that, yeah, sure Amelia: it's typical of you to only give a shit about what I'm trying to say when I'm not saying it anymore Jac: you left without saying anything earlier Jac: then you wouldn't speak to me 'cos you were in a huff but yeah, pop off Amelia: I didn't have time to search your 🏠 for you earlier Jac: and I said it was okay but don't act like I was ignoring you Amelia: you were Amelia: but I get it, Savannah's in greater need Jac: oh my God, do you actually get it though Jac: like could you Jac: because this is really gross Amelia: of course I do, her parents are mental and it's horrible Jac: I mean, nicely put Jac: so you don't need to be snippy with me about needing to spend like 10 minutes alone so she can talk about it without my whole family standing around Amelia: I was the one who told you, ages ago, so you already know what I mean Amelia: and I'm not, I'm explaining why I left without saying anything before you hold it against me any harder Jac: you aren't just explaining though, because that was never the question Jac: you said I was ignoring YOU Jac: I said it was fine you left, you had a migraine Amelia: because it's not just about 10 minutes alone so she can cry on your shoulder and you fucking know it's not Jac: you don't like her Amelia: she takes over everything, including my birthday Jac: She was just trying to make sure you had a nice time Amelia: then why didn't I? Amelia: if she really cares so much about what I want, why wasn't it perfect? Jac: She's not a miracle worker Jac: I'm just saying she tried, can you fault someone for having good intentions? Amelia: she cares about you two having a good time, she doesn't try with me Amelia: because guess what, chucking money at something doesn't actually count Amelia: you used to know that Jac: you can't say how much she does or doesn't try Jac: maybe she's really trying, and I happen to think she is, and I've got it on better authority than you Jac: as you said, it's not as if she's had close friends before really Jac: you could give her a break instead of being ungrateful about it Amelia: you could give me a break Jac: no, you're being mean Jac: and blaming her for problems you're having Jac: like how dare she treat you? Amelia: the problem is that you used to care how I feel about things and apparently now you don't Jac: I can care without indulging pointless bitchery Jac: if you told me what was actually wrong with you, I'd listen, I'd do whatever I could to help, you know that Amelia: no, you're not listening Jac: You aren't saying anything Jac: you keep slagging Savannah off, and I counter that and then you stop Jac: what is actually going on Amelia: I've been saying the same thing this entire time, for fuck's sake Jac: When you wanna say what's actually going on with you, and think about that in a way that doesn't involve Savannah Jac: then I'm here waiting Amelia: I don't want to spend time with her, I want to spend it with you Amelia: Why can't we literally EVER? Why does she have to be involved in literally everything? Jac: We do spend time without her Jac: but we can't exclude her when she wants to be involved, she's our friend Amelia: she's not my friend Amelia: I'm trying, I am Jac: okay, she's my friend though Jac: we can spend time together, alright Amelia: okay Jac: pick a day, pick something to do, let me know Amelia: sure, put me on the spot Jac: 🙄 god, not RIGHT now Jac: but give me something more committal than that 'okay' or it won't happen Amelia: okay!! Amelia: are you happy now? Amelia: I just said how much I miss you Jac: like I'm that desperate for attention, again, rude Amelia: clearly not if I have to be the one begging you for yours Jac: oh hush Jac: I invited you to something like, literally 5 seconds ago Jac: you were the one that ruined it with your 🤕 Amelia: I didn't mean to ruin anything Jac: I'm joking Jac: I'll survive Amelia: I'm serious Amelia: and sorry, obviously Jac: it's fine, actually fine Jac: you shouldn't worry about it Amelia: if you want me to try harder, I'll try harder, alright Jac: I'd appreciate it Jac: I think she would too, and you Jac: getting along would just be easier Jac: you don't have to be like, her own personally cheerleader Amelia: I can't work miracles either Jac: you said you'd try Jac: I don't know why it's so hard for you but I can't really ask more than that Amelia: you really don't get it? Jac: No, I really don't Amelia: okay Jac: I'll leave you to it Amelia: bye again Jac: You have planning to do Amelia: you love a competition Amelia: what happens if I lose? Jac: What competition? Jac: I'm not planning anything Amelia: so it's a test instead Amelia: it's the same question Jac: we can still hang out, as you asked Jac: I'll just be bored if you pick something boring, I suppose Amelia: when have I EVER picked anything boring? Jac: 🤷 Jac: we'll see Amelia: don't 🤷 at me Amelia: you've never been bored Jac: you're so touchy 😂 Jac: I can't do anything Friday, by the way, so don't pick Friday Amelia: do you want to assign me a day? Jac: Probably Sunday Jac: I'm working after school every other day Jac: Saturday is up in the air right now Amelia: alright Jac: free time is just not a thing I have Amelia: I know, I'm not touchy about that bit Jac: I'm not going to sit here and tell you you're not boring, Amelia Jac: what kind of midlife crisis Amelia: Shut up, I don't need that from you Amelia: I'm well aware Jac: 👉😠 Amelia: you don't need to teach me sign language either Jac: you're gonna side with the 12 year old asshole on that, are you Jac: yeah that's about right mentality wise 🙄 Amelia: according to you there aren't any sides, we're all friends and everything is 🌹y Amelia: so no Jac: Jude isn't our friend, she's my sister and she's a little bitch sometimes Amelia: yeah, again, I know Amelia: Savannah's the one who needs family introductions Jac: She knows who everyone is Jac: you're being so whiny, it's just annoying now Amelia: leave me to it then, that's what you said you were going to do Jac: Yeah, and I definitely will now Jac: christ, is it any wonder I'm not electing to spend time with just you Jac: think about it Amelia: It's already all I think about Amelia: I don't want to fight with you Jac: it's not hard, Amelia Jac: as I said, Savannah doesn't devote her time to bitching about you, or anyone else Jac: nor does she walk around with a massive strop on all the time Amelia: I'm sorry Amelia: what do you want me to say? Jac: Just stop acting like this Amelia: I'm not acting like anything, that's the problem Amelia: it's how I feel Jac: You're gonna have to sort it out Jac: it's not healthy for you Jac: or good for us or anyone else Amelia: I said I'll try Jac: you've got to Jac: it's for your own best interest Amelia: yeah Jac: yeah Amelia: 👋

[ifishouldvanish]

Nighthawks, Morningbirds

I’d like to thank everyone who nominated I Must Be Warmer Now for TEAs this year! Here’s a ‘missing chapter’ (or three) that covers the rest of Gold and Lacey’s first official date, picking up where chapter seven leaves off.

Chapter Two

Summary: Rattled by their encounter with Arthur, Gold and Lacey try to salvage what’s left of their night together. Rating: M

[Chapter 1] [Chapter 2] [Chapter 3] [Read on AO3]

Lacey pulls her eyes from the passenger window to look at Gold, and folds her arms over her chest. She's pretty sure it's coming off as more sulky than indignant however, because she feels so small. It had been a while since anyone got under her skin like this, and that asshole Arthur did it in no time at all. So much for not giving a damn.

“What did he mean?” She mumbles.

“...In regard to what?”

“He said that you were bragging about me.”

“Oh.” Gold chuckles. The light from the street passes over his face as they drive, giving her a glimpse of the small smile there. “Dr Hopper— our facilitator— asked me to share something with the group on Friday.” He says. “So I told everyone that I went to the bar and was approached by a fascinating young woman who helped me to see things differently.”

“That all?” She asks meekly.

“No. I also told them that I enjoyed her company very much and hoped to talk to her again.”

“You… you didn’t tell them that we—”

“No, no…” He assures softly. He then blanches when her meaning sinks in. “Of course not! Lacey I—”

“Are you embarrassed of me?”

His eyes dart off of the road for a moment to give her a puzzled look. “...No! Why would you think that?!”

“Most guys are.” She admits with a shrug. It's been true of her experience since returning to Storybrooke. There's no shortage of men seeking her out for some comfort at night, and she knows some of them go as far as bragging about it to their friends. But in the end, nobody wants to actually be seen with her.

“Lacey, I-I-I—” Gold stammers and returns his focus to the road. “I enjoyed the time we spent together. Truly.”

“Everyone else enjoys me too. Doesn't mean they're proud of it or that it means anything.”

Lacey notices his knuckles tightening around the wheel. “I don't know that... proud is the word I'd use.” He says uncomfortably. “But it did mean something. To me. This means something to me.”

She chews her thumbnail and looks out the window. Scoffs. “Of course it does. You haven't gotten any action in six years.”

Lacey isn't exactly expecting a snappy reply, but still finds herself discomfited when one never comes, leaving her cold words hanging heavily over the silence in the car.

She sighs and looks back at him. Light passes over his features again, which are now pinched into a stoic facade. She can see past it though, and underneath it all he looks so hurt. She just doesn't know what to make of anyone showing her kindness and vulnerability.

“I'm… Sorry. That wasn't cool, I— I didn't mean that.”

He remains quiet and she needs to fill the silence with something.

“You just— You didn't have to cut in like that.” She says. “I can stand up for myself.”

“Lacey, that man is my problem. Not yours.”

She rolls her eyes. “I'm sorry—” she snorts, “did I miss the part where he called you a mouthy slag who needs to be put on a leash?”

“No…” Gold sighs and tightens his grip on the steering wheel. “Just that he and I… we have a sort of history, and I'd rather you not get involved.”

“Bullshit.” Lacey straightens her back and stares at the road ahead. “You've been seeing him an hour a week for what? Six months? History my ass.”

“Fine.” He grunts. “Not him. Men like him.”

Lacey laughs humorlessly. “And you think I don't have a history with assholes?”

“God dammit!” He slams his fist against the steering wheel in frustration. “He reminds me of my father, alright?!”

The car falls silent again, save for Gold's heavy breaths as he simmers down.

“I-I'm sorry.” He stammers. “He just— Every week, I have to listen to that bastard and it's like… I'm back in that flat in Glasgae with him. I just… I needed to say those things, alright? I-I needed to have that much.”

Lacey watches him ease into his seat as the weight of his confession lifts away. “...Okay.” She says, the word coming out as a whisper. “I get it.”

She does, truly. She's lost count of how many men she's kicked and screamed at, using them as surrogates for the real thing. For Gerard and all of his asshole, piece of shit friends. She can't imagine Gold gets half as many chances at that kind of catharsis, nor can she imagine having to spend time every week grouped with someone who reminds her of her abuser. Being encouraged to sympathize with and relate to them. Being told you're not so different from them. That you're there together because you have something in common.

“He deserved worse.” She adds quietly.

“Well, like I said. Getting my son back is more important to me than… retribution.” He says, and his shoulders slouch a little. “It has to be.”

Lacey feels something grip her chest that she supposes could best be described as shame. It's easy for her to be reckless, to not really think about the consequences, because what does she have to lose? Certainly not a child. It's an uncomfortable train of thought, that his problems aren't quite as simple as she made them sound last week, and she doesn't want to dwell on it a second longer.

“I was serious about the foot up the ass, you know.”

With a delayed reaction, Gold scoffs. “I don't doubt that.”

“Seriously. I got no problem spending a night in jail for punching an asshole.” She shrugs. “Just say the word. Call it a public service.”

She catches him smiling, and she can feel the shame in her gut being washed away.

Gold takes a deep breath and sighs. “...I like you, Lacey.” He says softly. “So much already that it terrifies me.”

The thought that he's just as fucked up and confused about this as she is is a mild comfort. “...Me too.”

He takes a hand off the wheel and rests it over the center console. His fingers seem to twitch a little the longer she stares at it there and she realizes he's offering it to her. She slowly laces her fingers in his and he squeezes ever so slightly.

Their hands are still entwined by the time they make it back to Storybrooke. He makes a right onto 3rd and she stirs.

“Where are we—” she shakes her head and wriggles her hand from his. “I thought we were going to your place.”

“We were.” He says. “But— we… you seemed upset?”

“I'm fine.”

“I just thought—”

“Well, you were wrong.” She says. “I'm fine. We can go to your place. I—” She pauses lets out a sigh. “I’m sorry for being a bitch. ...I still wanna to go home with you,” she admits reluctantly, “assuming you aren't tired of me yet.”

“Not at all.” He smiles weakly at her and nods. “I… I apologize for snapping. But, I'd like that.”

*****

Lacey’s eyes go wide with awe as Gold invites her into his oversized Victorian. “Shit. You live here all by—” She catches herself and swallows rest of the question.

“...Aye.” He answers dejectedly anyway, shedding his jacket and hanging it on the coat rack.

“It's… it’s really nice?” She offers, stepping into the sitting room and admiring the furniture, the abandoned game of chess, and the shelves full of books and porcelain figurines. “You um, you have a lovely home.” She says, the words falling from her tongue clumsily. It's what you're supposed to say when you visit someone's house for the first time, isn't it? She supposes that if anything, it's a massive understatement.

“...Thank you.” He says with a curt nod.

He glances around the room for a moment as though he hasn't actually looked at it in some time. The house is silent save for the ticking and tocking of a grandfather clock on the far wall, and Lacey recalls the loneliness he described to her the other night. She feels a sadness, imagining him sitting in this room all by himself, day after day, with nothing but the ticking and tocking to keep him company.

Gold presses his lips into a thin line for a moment and shakes his head. “I ah… seem to remember promising you some wine?” He says, putting on a friendly smile and gesturing toward what must be the kitchen.

Lacey follows him closely behind, still taking in her surroundings. Gerard's apartment was big and expensive, but it was also cold and sterile. Gold's home is a work of art; full of beautiful antique pieces that have clearly been chosen by him personally rather than ordered straight from a catalog. She feels like she has no business being in this house. Like a stray animal that has wandered in and is going to be shooed out at any minute.

“What do you like?” He asks, nodding at the massive wine cooler. “Red? White? Rose?”

“I—” Lacey blinks owlishly at it. It must hold about a hundred bottles. “What do you recommend?”

A little smirk tugs at his lips and he approaches the unit. “A cabernet sauvignon ought to pair nicely with that steak.” He says with a humored lilt to his voice, opening the door and sliding a bottle out.

“Sounds good to me.” Lacey shrugs. She watches as he carries the bottle to the counter and retrieves two glasses. He pours not much more than a splash into each one, then carries them over with a smile.

“Try that,” he nods, handing her a glass.

She draws the glass to her lips and hesitates. “Now, when you say try— ”

“You can swallow it.” He chuckles. “Though you’re welcome to spit it out as well. ...I won’t be insulted.” He winks, taking a swig and giving a little hum of approval before swallowing.

Lacey empties her glass and swirls the wine around in her mouth.

It's disgusting.

She immediately spits it back out and scowls, shaking her head.

His eyes are wide with concern for a fleeting moment before he eases into an amused little smirk. “...Not a fan?”

“Sorry, that’s—” She rakes her teeth over her tongue, trying to scrape the unpleasant taste from it. “No.”

He chuckles and takes the glass from her. “We’ll just have to try another, won’t we?” He says, flashing her an understanding smile.

“They can only get better than whatever the hell that was,” she says as he steps away to rinse their glasses in the sink.

“I admit, I’m not much of a wine drinker myself,” he says. “Much prefer my scotch.”

Folding her arms over her chest, Lacey stares into the cooler and scowls. “Then why have all this? Why not just load it with fuckin’ whiskey?”

“Because—” He glances over his shoulder at her, eyes narrowed while a little smirk tugs at his lips. “Come over and try some wine sounds much more romantic than come over and try some hard liquor.” He says, stepping beside her.

“It’d work on me.” She says flatly.

“Well, you’re here now, aren’t you?” He says, peering through the cooler again.

“Not for the wine.”

“Miss French! What are you trying to say?” He teases.

She looks at him, tracing her tongue along her lip, and is satisfied to see him blushing. He quickly looks back at the cooler with unwarranted focus for a moment and gives a small cough.

“Well then, how about this?” He says, sliding out a bottle with a light salmon color to it. “Provence Rose? Crisp, dry, versatile. Fruity notes.”

“Sure.” Lacey shrugs, but she can't help smiling at how adorable he is. He’s so small and refined and gentle and nothing like Gerard or Keith or pretty much any of the other men she’s ever been with, and she can hardly imagine him ever losing his temper and destroying anything in this house.

That's when she notices it: the empty china cabinet that's had its glass panes knocked out.

“I really think you’ll enjoy this one—” Gold says, holding out her glass. He seems to catch her gaze, and follows it to the china cabinet. “...Aye.” He mumbles, looking away in shame. “That’s... The one.”

She promptly takes a swig of her wine, not wanting to upset him by dwelling on the topic of his little transgression. “S’good.” She nods. “I like it.”

He gives her a smile that's equal parts pleased and relieved and takes the glass back. “Good. I’m glad.” He says, walking back to rinse the glasses again.

“So uh… just like, out of curiosity...” Lacey begins, fumbling her hands and stepping up to the cooler. “Which of these did you blow the most cheddar on?”

Gold scoffs. “Hm. That would be the 2005 Château Pétrus, I believe. Four grand.”

“Christ!” She hikes her brows until the sticker shock wears off. After a beat, she looks over her shoulder at him. “...Is it any good?”

“Haven’t opened it yet.” He says with a shrug and walks over. He lets out a huff and reaches into the cooler again, pulling out the Pétrus. “Was saving it for a special occasion, I guess.” He sighs, studying the bottle for a long moment.

Lacey imagines most of this wine was bought for his ex-wife, rather than himself. He's frowning at the bottle, a sort of symbol of the potential his life must have once had, that has since been foreclosed on. But then a faint smile begins to shape his lips.

“...Wedding anniversary, perhaps.” He jokes, but Lacey doesn't laugh. He lets out a scoff and looks up at her with a mischievous grin. “...Would you like to try it?”

Lacey gives him what she's certain is a deer in the headlights look. As curious as she is to find out what a four grand bottle of wine tastes like, she knows she isn't worthy of it. That he'll regret opening it and wasting it on her of all people. “Um… no,” she says, shaking her head, “that’s okay.”

“...C’mon.” He winks. He leans in and slips into a whisper, as if to share a secret. “We’ll toast to something.”

Lacey's skin tingles at his nearness. Nothing about the goofy smile on his face indicates that he's trying to be suave, but he's affecting her regardless and for the first time in too long, she isn’t sure how she feels about it. The thought of sleeping with him again is making her stomach churn with doubt. Not doubt that she wants to, but whether or not she should. “I don’t know.” She mumbles. “I mean, you should um, save it. For a special occasion.”

He frowns and studies the bottle again, knitting his brows in consideration. A smile slowly creeps back to his face and he meets her gaze again. “There's ah... no occasion more special than enjoying good company, aye?”

Lacey chuckles uncomfortably. It's the nicest thing anybody's said to her in ages and the realization makes her feel so pathetic. Her company is good and special and worth celebrating. She tucks a lock of hair behind her ear, immediately putting it back when she decides she feels too exposed by its absence. “Yeah, I uh, guess you’re right.”

“Excellent.” He nods and saunters off to the counter again with the bottle. “Come, Miss French. You’re going to help me do the honors.”

He pulls a knife from the drawer and swiftly tears the foil off, then twists the corkscrew through. He holds it out to her and gives her an expectant look, inviting her to fold down the levers. She hesitates, but then she remembers what he told her the night she took him home. That all the finery in his home is about his family— affording comfort and luxury to the people he cares about— and he wants to share it with her.

She smiles and pushes the little arms down, unsatisfied when the auger only pulls the cork out halfway.

“Thank you, Miss French.” He says with a little bow before wriggling the cork out the rest of the way with a pop . “You've been a lovely and most invaluable assistant.”

She huffs out a laugh at his corny joke and watches as he pours their glasses again. Their fingers touch as she accepts hers from him and he clears his throat. “To good company?”

Lacey nods and clinks their glasses. “To good company.” She says with her best smile.

They empty their glasses, each watching for the other’s reaction. His brows knit together adorably as he tastes it properly, but Lacey doesn’t feel like it tastes much different from the shit they keep on the bottom shelf at Price Rite . He shrugs and swallows, and she follows suit.

“It’s… good.” She says, more to be polite than anything else. She used to buy the shit on the bottom shelf quite often, after all.

“Hm.” He nods in agreement, seeming only mildly impressed himself. It’s a small relief, knowing she isn’t exactly missing out.

“But—” She nibbles her lip and studies his features for a moment.

He raises a brow. “But...?”

Lacey sets her glass down and traces her tongue along her bottom lip. She slides a hand over his shoulder and steps closer to him. She brushes her lips against his once— twice, before he parts for her and she can taste the wine on his tongue and it's so much sweeter that way. He rests a hand on her waist, squeezing gently before roving around to her back and pulling her closer. She sips every last drop she can from his lips before pulling away and leaving him with a dopey smile on his face.

“...It tastes even better from your mouth.” She says.

His grin widens, growing ever more lopsided. “Does it, now?”

She nods, biting back a smile.

“Well…” He brushes his fingers across her cheek and his eyes dance over her face with such warmth. “Not to challenge your connoisseurship, but I'd like to try that for myself.”

She nods and he returns the favor, and he's so gentle, always so gentle. Her heart flutters in her chest and she has to remind herself to slow down again. Remind herself not to fall too far too fast. She pulls away sooner than she would have liked and shakes her head.

“I'm— I'm pretty tired.” She says, rubbing a hand over her eyes. “I think I'm ready to crash.”

He blinks at the premature ending of their kiss and nods. “...Aye. It’s late, isn't it?” He says, clumsily beginning to recork all of the bottles. “There's a bathroom upstairs— first door on the left— if you care to wash up. I'll ah, find you something to change into?”

*****

Gold's admittedly a little relieved when she settles into his bed right away. He wasn't sure if she'd want to sleep in his room or one of the guest rooms and he was anxious and unsure over how to ask without coming off as too forward. Or too cold. Too something — he doesn't know. He just didn't want her to think he was expecting anything, nor did he want her to feel unwelcome.

“Thanks for— I don't know,” she mumbles as he settles beside her. “I had fun. …Even though that douchebag ruined our dinner and I was a bitch on the way home.”

He’s not really sure what to say to that. All things considered, he thinks their evening recovered pretty nicely. And while she had hurt him during the drive home, he understood she was hurt herself. He settles for giving her a kiss on the shoulder and a simple, “Thank you for inviting me.”

He tries to keep his distance from her at first. But her body is quivering and within fifteen minutes, he finds himself spooned up behind her, sharing his warmth.

“Cold?” He asks in a whisper. “I can get you another—”

“No.” She clips.

“Are you sure? You're shaking—”

“I just wanna fuck.” She says. “At least, my body does.”

“But... you don't want to?”

“I don't know.” She says, fidgeting under the covers. “I don't know how to sleep next to someone without fucking them first.” She mutters sourly. “That's the kind of girl I am, alright?”

He rolls away from her, trying not to pull the covers off of her in the process. “You don't have to sleep with me. I can set you up in one of the guest rooms? I-I can drive you home?”

“No.” She shakes her head and shivers. “I don't wanna sleep alone.”

“Alright.” He sighs, spooning back up to her, enveloping her. “Then you won't.”

She continues to tremble and shake in his arms and he can't stand the thought of her being like this all night. He perfectly understands why she might not want to have sex. He can't blame her after the daunting implications of what she told him in the car. He’s not sure he wants to either. But gods, he just wants her to feel relaxed and warm and safe.

After a moment of hesitation, he presses a kiss to her shoulder and tentatively drags his hand across her abdomen. She squirms and presses her thighs together in response.

“Please, let me.” He offers softly. “...If you don't—”

Lacey lets out a sigh. “...okay.” She mumbles a little reluctantly, starting to roll onto her back for him.

“No, no.” He stops her with a light touch. “You're fine. Just—” He slides his hand between her thighs, finding her warm and wet. “Let me…”

She sighs heavily as he begins stroking her, then inhales sharply when he tucks his hand into her underwear. He combs his fingers through her curls and she shifts a little so she can spread her thighs for him. He pulls himself closer, wrapping himself around her almost protectively.

Lacey’s eyes are on him, studying his face while he uses his fingers to tease and spread her folds. But in his calm, focused state, he can't bring himself to feel self-conscious about it. He slips a finger inside of her and she gasps.

“Alright?” He asks.

She nods and cants her hips into his touch. He plants another kiss to her shoulder and adds another finger, slowly pumping into her. She responds immediately, squirming into him and letting out a stifled moan.

The string of gasps and moans coming from her lips intensifies, and the rolling of her hips quickens. He rests his thumb against her hood, gradually applying pressure to her bud until her body suddenly tightens in his arms.

“That's it,” he whispers and kisses her again, “I've got you…” He continues working over her most sensitive places and she whimpers as each wave of residual tension escapes her body.

He peppers her shoulder with soft kisses as she relaxes, melting back against him with a satiated little moan.

“Better?” He asks, slipping out of her and wiping his fingers along the hem of the shirt he gave her.

She nods and quickly moves to touch him through his bottoms.

“No, no.” He tuts softly, guiding her hand away. “You don't have to— Just go to sleep, lass.”

She mumbles something he can't make out and settles comfortably against him, drifting almost instantly to sleep.

#rumbelle fic #golden lace

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: [AM of last day, after getting bollocked by Mr. Lucas for all the shenanigans they pulled in his room on his tings, 'cos he probably would've separated them, put them on different jobs or whatever] Janis: This is what we get for trying to help him with his fashion choices Jimmy: ungrateful knobhead, him Jimmy: soz you don't look 🥇 in green, sir Jimmy: get your own fake missus Janis: worked out so well the first time... 💍💔 Jimmy: 💰 on there being loads of Russian virgins in his area who wanna 🗨 Janis: when he's done 🤤💦 on his keyboard, Gracie can scalp them and make a new weave Janis: we all win Janis: personally 🥳 to spend that much time with him, like Jimmy: 👏🏆 Jimmy: me an' all, you I can take or leave, obvs Janis: I can epically dump you in front of his own 👀 Janis: win him back and all, bloody love that Jimmy: then when he rings my dad to relay this bollocking and owt else that takes his fancy they can get a bromance going and go for a 🍻 to slag me off Jimmy: chuffed to bits Jimmy: I'll have loads of time to crack onto them virgins myself Janis: LOVE that for them Janis: less about you being that sort of boy tbh, but we can try to work it into the storyline Jimmy: we can keep it between us, it's alright Janis: keep it between you and the Russian virgins, weirdo Jimmy: there ain't gonna be nowt between me and them Jimmy: no need to 💍💔 like our BFF Janis: not even a hymen Janis: romantic that Janis: put it in 🎶🎨📸🖋 boy Jimmy: no can do Jimmy: only got the one muse Janis: s'a insta caption if I ever heard one 💘 Jimmy: keep it in my back pocket for the next 🌧 day then Janis: yeah Janis: if we still need it then, plenty of time to 🗭 when you're meant to be writing lines instead, like Jimmy: where do you 🗭 you live, girl? It'll probably be 🌧 before we even get back Janis: always look on the ⛅ me Janis: just the positive person I am Jimmy: said before you're my ray of ☀ Janis: if I realized there would be a test, I would've studied, babe Janis: love a 🤓 moment, you Jimmy: piss off do I Jimmy: love nerd flirting with me, you Janis: maybe Janis: only 'cos it 😤 😠 😡 🤬 Mia so much Jimmy: wonder how that lad's feeling, if he can feel owt Janis: if it's anything like itchiness and stinging when he pisses, better get him home sooner rather than later Jimmy: really restored my faith in romance, that Jimmy: might have to try and 🎨📸🖋 any road Janis: not a subtle hint either, by the way Jimmy: what? Janis: never mind Jimmy: go on Janis: just saying not telling you you need to go get your dick swabbed, or whatever Janis: joking, obvs Jimmy: funny Janis: yeah yeah Jimmy: not riddled with owt either in case you were waiting for that punchline an' all Janis: 👍 Janis: weren't, but always good to know these things Jimmy: there you go then Janis: genuinely ain't seen him today though so Janis: welfare check ain't far from the truth Jimmy: She'll have got 💀#2 and the rest to help her hide the body by now Janis: be hell to pay if they've messed up the turf here Janis: not taking the blame for that one, like Janis: got a 😇 rep to protect Jimmy: Oi, do it for the reconciliation with your true love Jimmy: full term ain't gonna be enough when it's that #deepandmeaningful Janis: I can think of plenty of ways to stay in trouble and he can think of even more punishments Janis: just that 😍😍 Jimmy: I get that you're fated, don't need to rub it in Jimmy: here I were reckoning we were the starcrossed ones but its been you and him all along Jimmy: 😭🎻💔 Janis: be such a good plotline if he were actually fit Janis: make the best of it but 🤢🤢 Jimmy: soz mate I can't talk to you for a bit Jimmy: that gutted I am Janis: piss poor excuse but alright Jimmy: how is our 💕 being a sham a piss poor excuse? bit rude Janis: you should be over the 🌙 Janis: what it's meant to be, we're #killingit Jimmy: you're killing me Janis: you 💘 that too Janis: so good to you Jimmy: that'll be why I wanna keep hold of you Jimmy: but alright, you can stop begging I'll fight him Janis: he's spoiling for it, like Janis: thought he might actually bust a blood vessel earlier Jimmy: ⚔️ Jimmy: Bill's 👻 will be dead proud Janis: make two of us #boydonegood Jimmy: you were rooting for him a bit ago Jimmy: #fakefan Janis: keep you on your toes Janis: or him Janis: adds to the mystique, yeah Jimmy: I'm 🥇🥊 and you're well fit and mysterious, save it Janis: 😏🤔 hang on Jimmy: ? Janis: not sure if we're yet at that #goals level of co-dependent where our personalities are interchangeable Jimmy: better hang about for a bit then Janis: gotta go home Janis: 😭🎻💔😭🎻💔 Jimmy: we've got all day that's loads of time Jimmy: chin up ☀ Janis: true Janis: gotta go out with a 💥 Jimmy: Started already with how optimistic I were there Jimmy: we'll do it piss easy Jimmy: no dickhead'll know who's who and who 🗭 what Janis: we LOVE morphing into one person! Jimmy: that's the spirit Jimmy: 👻 girl Janis: vampire boy Jimmy: fuck me, that ain't the one Jimmy: been pissed all over Janis: just can't let being 😎 go, can you Jimmy: you can't let me either, babe, it's #ultimategoals Janis: think of a new, better nickname then, brb Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [some kind of generator moment] Janis: what's grabbing ya? Jimmy: What kind of grab is it meant to be? Janis: something that screams YOU Janis: and #ultimategoals naturally Jimmy: 😏🤔 Janis: UGH, BABE Janis: so picky, omg 🤭 Jimmy: Baby, I'm sorry Jimmy: I just want it to be perfect Janis: YOU'RE perfect Jimmy: You Janis: think they'll let us work together today Jimmy: can't stop us, your ankle ain't healed itself in the night Janis: and what is a top boyfriend if not a glorified crutch Jimmy: when he's as 💪🏆 as me it ain't even a job, just comes that natural Janis: write that on the review Jimmy: Alright Janis: might count as a reference Janis: wouldn't you just LOVE to work here Jimmy: 🚫☕😱😱 Jimmy: #whoamI? Janis: it's like your whole personality is just...gone?? Janis: 😬 Jimmy: that apron is my WHOLE identity Jimmy: can't even 👀 me now 👻💔 Janis: 🤚 💘 ✋ Jimmy: you need to come here I'm FREAKING OUT!! Janis: alright Janis: hold tight Jimmy: can't, I'm just a floating pair of shades Janis: float towards me then Jimmy: [does, soz not soz Mr Lucas] Janis: [being extra checking he's still here] Jimmy: [being extra too like can you feel this] Janis: [😳 to make it clear you do] Jimmy: [taking the deepest breath ever like oh I'm so relieved but really we just gotta calm down whenever we see the bae] Janis: [when you slept together and slept together before being rudely awoken by Mr Lucas so we all need moments] Jimmy: [how dare you sir, but we just holding her like I gotta so I don't float away and disappear so you can't ruin it bye] Janis: [snuggling him like I got you] Jimmy: [brb having emotions me and Jimothy both because he's just thinking this will be over after today hence not letting go] Janis: [we're all gutted and tryna pretend we ain't] Jimmy: [don't cry though boy there's no styling that out] Janis: [I think that some popular kid should invite them to a party that's like, soon as they get back today or whatever so it's like prolonging this day but they still think that'll be it but then they slay that party obvs so then they end up doing all they do in the hols] Jimmy: [I love that and it makes perfect sense] Janis: 😎😎 #confirmed Jimmy: THANK GOD Jimmy: touch and go for a bit there, weren't it? Janis: 🥣 Janis: juuuuuuust right, goldilocks Jimmy: Oi it's daddy 🐻 or nowt Janis: [😂] Janis: not 💀👑 Janis: can't sign off on that Jimmy: [IRL pout] Jimmy: 💔 Janis: what about baby 🐻 Janis: compromise Jimmy: [🖋 in the air like he's signing off on it] Janis: [👍] Jimmy: have we earned a fucking break yet or what? Jimmy: takes the piss, this Janis: 🚬🚬 Janis: reckon so Janis: [getting up even if we gotta lie about a pissbreak or whatever] Jimmy: [likewise because no fucks given at this point or ever like I gotta give her a hand she can't walk if anyone cares] Janis: [big sigh like thank god] Jimmy: [we outta here for however long we can get away with suck it sir] Janis: [take that break lads] Jimmy: [gotta sit down purely so he can put her ankle up on his leg cos gotta elevate that] Janis: ['how's it looking, less fat?'] Jimmy: [little lol but 👀ing at it 'how's it feel, any less of a ball ache?'] Janis: [nods 'like it never happened' not quite but you know] Jimmy: ['I can finally sign off of nursing you back to health then' when you keep thinking about the end of this but emphasis on finally like thank fuck] Janis: ['mission accomplished' like everyone is so 😍 for it and that's the only reason you did] Jimmy: ['post us my award when you get chance, nowt to rush over' with a shrug] Janis: ['got to make it first'] Jimmy: [gives her a look like there we are merging again cos he's an art hoe] Janis: [little 😏 'wait 'til you see it, like'] Jimmy: ['can't' cos so excited clearly] Janis: [shakes her head like oh you Jimmy: [😏] Janis: ['what are you gonna do when you get out then?' taking a drag on that 🚬] Jimmy: ['the question were meant to be what are you in for' and likewise] Janis: [look like, if you feel like answering that, go ahead] Jimmy: [a look in the direction of wherever they saw Mr Lucas last like there's that answer] Janis: [rolls eyes in said direction 'same'] Jimmy: [an exaggerated what can you do? gesture] Janis: [finger gun in her mouth like pow] Jimmy: [😍 and 💔 mime before doing his own finger gun against his head] Janis: [miming waking up miraculously like whoopsie] Jimmy: [playing dead dramatically] Janis: [moving closer to shake him like noooooo] Jimmy: [playing even deader give him an oscar tbh] Janis: [fake slapping him across the face in that dramatic way they do] Jimmy: ['I get it, you're going for the oscar' but said as he still lies in his dead position] Janis: ['nah, just really wanna slap ya' but we're cradling his head in our lap] Jimmy: [looking up at her 'go on then'] Janis: [pushes his face away like no] Jimmy: [gets up like alright, suit yourself] Janis: [awkward silence] Jimmy: [we just 🚬] Janis: [checking the DMs etc] Jimmy: [checking in with Cass and to see if Ian's kicking off yet] Janis: [hold on sir, they back soon] Jimmy: [thank god they're going straight to that party] Janis: [lol soz about it] Jimmy: [lol not soz about it] Janis: [can potentially skip to bus home it's up to you/if you have any ideas for before they leave?] Jimmy: [I feel like we should do a final activity they can slay as a team/duo because haven't been able to since day 1 and that's rude] Janis: [I vibe, potentially should have a flat white on the team too though] Jimmy: [let's have Ella because she'd be devastated] Janis: [so much deadweight on this team, have to actually swag it despite your real injury] Jimmy: [that was my thought, cos maybe another random girl who's also useless for different reasons] Janis: [pop off lads carry team to undeserved victory] Jimmy: [love that for you, happy nerds] Janis: [now go pack your things] Jimmy: 🏆🥇💪💕 Jimmy: well impressive, you Janis: 🤤😍 genuine ✔ Jimmy: Oi, take my genuine compliment, dickhead Janis: let me be genuinely grateful how I wanna be, boy Janis: maybe I got you a prize for being 🏆🥇💪 yourself Jimmy: Soz girl, didn't realise you had Ben in there helping you pack Jimmy: come find me for the #🎁reveal in a bit Jimmy: 🤞 he ain't it Janis: well, rude and ungrateful Janis: poor Ben just wants a fond sexual experience to look back on to avoid the PTSD Jimmy: him and that lad Mia killed, they'll have to couple up Janis: in therapy, maybe Janis: have to wait 'til the bus now Janis: back to the drawing board 😤 Jimmy: I said soz Janis: 😏 Janis: sincere Jimmy: I know Jimmy: right from my 💘 that Janis: as is my gift Jimmy: 👍 Janis: better react more than that Jimmy: make me, Juliet Janis: not giving you a fake handjob under the hoodie Janis: classier than that, ty Jimmy: don't sound goals enough Jimmy: it were you who said go out with a 💥 not a 💦 Janis: exactly Janis: 🤯 Jimmy: be alright, no need to impress me, just the #fans Jimmy: piss easy that Janis: no need maybe Janis: want, obviously Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Janis: so real Jimmy: as real as you want Janis: depends Jimmy: on what? Janis: you seen 💀👑 & #2 leave their room yet? Jimmy: haven't been 👀 Janis: we could say goodbye to their room, like Janis: if they have Jimmy: hang on Janis: 👍 Jimmy: they're in Asia's, should've guessed she can't pack by herself Jimmy: be like getting a hyper kid to do it Janis: can't have her leaving behind her toothbrush Janis: essential in every way Janis: you wanna then? Jimmy: do you wanna? Janis: was my idea Jimmy: so come on Janis: [meet there kids] Jimmy: [what a good idea and a #mood boo] Janis: [when it's not even the place you are first meant to have hooked up, but the actual, so we all know what you're saying there gal] Jimmy: [checking under Mia's pillow to see if those pills are still there in case the bae needs them] Janis: ['toothfairy?' 😏 'probably fit to crumble out soon'] Jimmy: [exaggerated shudder that's not that exaggerated because Mia is that gross and we're tucking the pills back in her pocket for that intimate moment ™] Janis: [just looking down at said pocket] Jimmy: [looking at her like ? cos you think she doesn't want them/is offended] Janis: [shaking her head like never mind] Jimmy: ['what?' cos we're not letting it drop] Janis: [shushing him and hopping on that bed like, what we're here for] Jimmy: [getting on the bed too but still lowkey like are you mad at me thoooooo] Janis: [waiting for him to make the first move, 'cos he's either gonna just do it or 📸 out] Jimmy: [does not get his 📸 out and kisses her anyway] Janis: [live your best life lads, though you should be stopped by one of them coming back 'cos forgot something] Jimmy: [1000000000% agree] Janis: [we know either would make sufficient fuss that everyone knows yet again how #goals and #inlove you're being so mission accomplished but you still mad you been cockblocked we know] Jimmy: [especially because you think that was your last chance cos for real not gonna hook up on the coach however much you wanna] Janis: [mhmmmm] Jimmy: [at least you're allowed to be 😒 as both Mia and Ella would be so annoying about it] Janis: [at least you know that calling Pablo is not goals this time 'round bitch] Jimmy: [spare us and also at least Grace can be sitting on her own again because she's on the shit list after this trip so don't have to deal with any of y'all] Janis: [we all know you cheated sloog] Jimmy: [anyway a girl flirting with Jimothy by inviting him to her party as they are waiting to get on this coach, how rude madam, Janis is right there] Janis: [😒 on this bus] Jimmy: [nudging her cos you know they sitting next to each other] Janis: [just getting your phone out and doing that thing where you raise your head but not your eyes like so non-commital can I help you?] Jimmy: ? Janis: what? Jimmy: What? Janis: you capitalizing at me? Jimmy: I did do Janis: still doesn't make your point any clearer though Jimmy: don't take the piss Janis: [looks up like whatttttt] Jimmy: [whispers 'what's wrong?' in her ear so that they don't get outted for casually having a domestic and also because it's a saucy thing to do] Janis: ['nothing' but taking the trouble to whisper back] Jimmy: [leaning in like he's gonna whisper again but moving her hair out of the way and playing with it as we do obvs and drawing a ? on the skin that he uncovers cos he don't believe you gal] Janis: [acting like that tickled well more than it possibly could to get out of answering, like omg stop it] Jimmy: [actually does tickle her then like tell me] Janis: [loling and kicking like watch out] Jimmy: [just making sure her ankle is okay like steady on] Janis: [🙄 but with that fake affection like this boy] Jimmy: [snuggling into her like yeah I know I'm so extra but it's only because I'm so 😍 but really we are hiding that we're annoyed she won't tell him what's wrong] Janis: [patting his head which is such blatant there there vibes we know] Jimmy: [hidden 😒] Janis: you gonna go then? Jimmy: fancy it? Janis: I weren't invited Jimmy: I just invited you Janis: not your party to be inviting people to Jimmy: you don't wanna come then? Janis: not what I said Jimmy: what you said sounded like some health and safety bollocks though so Jimmy: no need to run the numbers, mate Janis: if I was wanted, she'd have asked herself, sat right here weren't I Jimmy: if I want you, will you stop sitting there with a face on? Janis: not the point, is it Janis: [but looks up like ?] Jimmy: isn't it? Janis: do you want to go? Jimmy: where's your answer? Janis: ♟ Jimmy: [another nudge] Janis: [nudges him back with her bad foot like try me] Jimmy: [looks down at it with a furrowed brow] Jimmy: I get it, you're 💔 you can't dance Jimmy: should've said Janis: fuck off am I Janis: sure you're well 😎 on the dancefloor Jimmy: [😏 even though we know he can't dance she doesn't yet so] Jimmy: Alright, you like to watch #kinkunlocked Janis: 😒 Janis: no, and you can tell your mate that and all Jimmy: I don't reckon Bill's 👻 is that fussed, Jules Jimmy: tends to give the directions, him Janis: 🐻 Jimmy: 👋 Janis: oh no, the bear has eaten your face off Jimmy: @ Mia's dad Jimmy: gonna need compensation Janis: it is your only 💰 maker Jimmy: bit rude Janis: blame the 🐻 for being a bear, alright Jimmy: blame you for bringing him about, more like Janis: it's your dad Janis: baby 🐻 Jimmy: @iantaylor8 Jimmy: he's got competition for being the biggest dickhead of a dad 🎻 Janis: a competition most dads 'round here could go in for Jimmy: 🤞 Mia's wins Janis: what's the prize? Jimmy: golf clubs Jimmy: you can 💀💀💀 'em when you've had enough Janis: fun for all the family Janis: won at life so sure he will again Jimmy: 👍 Janis: don't be 💔 Jimmy: I ain't my 2 dads are Janis: Lucas will take 'em for a pint Jimmy: he got any kids? could enter an' all Janis: dunno Janis: be like older than my mum if they are Janis: 'less he's having loads on the sly Jimmy: all them poor Russian virgins 🤰👶 Jimmy: like a factory Janis: ain't sending 'em no rubles Jimmy: real 💔 that Janis: mhmm Janis: you wanna add to their woes by trying to flirt with them Janis: shameful Jimmy: I don't flirt with no lass, they crack onto me Janis: oh god Jimmy: deny it Jimmy: [shows her all the DMs like see] Janis: that's girls who are ⬇ you Janis: not girls you're interested in Jimmy: not actually interested in any Russian virgins, soz to burst your bubble, dickhead Janis: more fool you Jimmy: fill your own boots, like Jimmy: loads in the area if the ads are owt to go by Janis: 🖕🖕 Janis: need neither your leftovers nor your permission, tah Jimmy: you're alright, I weren't offering neither Janis: fill your own boots, like Janis: case and point Jimmy: calm down Jimmy: you sound like 💀👑 Jimmy: you can have my permission to go to law school if you're gonna keep being a twat Janis: piss off Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: 👋 Janis: [like we ain't sat together Jimmy: give me a bell when you've graduated harvard or wherever Jimmy: might come in handy Janis: sounds about right Jimmy: meaning what? Janis: meaning if I went off and got a law degree, I don't reckon I'd have time to fake date you Jimmy: never said that you'd have to Janis: whatever favour you need then then Jimmy: forget it, I'll use the free time I'll have when you've done one to win over Mia's dad Janis: 💡 Jimmy: 🥇 as per, me Jimmy: no need to go on about it, babe Janis: keep dreaming, new boy Jimmy: [puts his head on her shoulder and closes his eyes like okay then] Janis: [sigh like it's contented] Jimmy: [staying put stubbornly even though he obviously isn't going to sleep lol] Janis: [leaving this for a bit but then] Janis: we probably should Janis: if you're going, I mean Janis: should go together Jimmy: weren't planning to Jimmy: but if you wanna Janis: not hugely but Janis: if we didn't, we'd have to think up something more goals to be doing instead of or they'd fill in the blank of it Janis: this is the easiest option Jimmy: right Jimmy: and she don't want you there, so you should be Janis: bit petty but Jimmy: is it? Jimmy: you said it, you were there when she asked me Janis: yeah Janis: don't care if she wants to suck you off though, do I Jimmy: don't you? Janis: suppose in theory I have to Jimmy: just fake the 😒 face you had on a bit ago, that'll do Janis: I'd rather smack her Janis: but I know how to do it, been here the whole time, like Jimmy: go on, long as you don't fuck up your decent ankle there's no need for me to hold you back or up Janis: not the kind of fake girlfriend I am Jimmy: suit yourself Janis: it'd make you look good, and me like a dick Jimmy: didn't say you had to do it with an audience Janis: don't matter Janis: not gonna tell everyone she tripped, is she Jimmy: Dunno, don't know her Janis: girls aren't like that Janis: a lad has pride and will keep their mouth shut Jimmy: leave it out with her then Jimmy: like you said, what do you care? all just bollocks Janis: like I said, you come out fine, she treated me like a twat, that's why Janis: she don't know I don't care, that's the point Jimmy: Alright, let's make her look a bigger twat Jimmy: how? Janis: Good question Jimmy: 🗭💡🥇 Jimmy: What'd get to a lass like her? 🤔 Janis: if her party was a flop Jimmy: we could do that Janis: can we do that without everyone else knowing it's us doing that though Janis: that's the trick Jimmy: we got caught doing all that bollocks 'cause we wanted to Janis: 'course Jimmy: challenge accepted then Jimmy: but it won't be Janis: naturally she'll be well devastated when you don't shag her Jimmy: She'll live Janis: 😢 but aiming for 😭 so we need the rest Jimmy: every dickhead knows I only want you by now Jimmy: she's taking the piss Janis: yeah Jimmy: you'll live an' all Janis: don't be telling me what to do Janis: 😏 Jimmy: wouldn't be very #goals that Janis: you're telling me Janis: though they'd like it Jimmy: hang on, I'll @ you my instructions Jimmy: they can give it a like Janis: 🤮🤮🤮 Janis: some things work better as a DM, babe Jimmy: [DM's her but it just says hey] Janis: 😂 Janis: don't quit your day job to become a master, like Jimmy: don't need your permission either, Judith Janis: you'll need loads of training Jimmy: piss off will I Janis: 👌👌 Janis: calm down Janis: not given me nothing to go on there Jimmy: [gives her something 🔥🔥 to go on cos challenge accepted] Janis: no need for that Jimmy: you said I hadn't given you nowt Jimmy: there you go Jimmy: 🎁💕 Janis: [a LOOK] Janis: just Janis: rude Jimmy: [a LOOK back cos always] Jimmy: you gonna give me the one you owe me at this party or what? Janis: nah, have it now, hold on Janis: [my idea was something she stole from someone's room that she didn't put in the collective kitty but I can't fully think what yet] Jimmy: [I'll let you off cos I've been there and whatever it is he's gonna be shooketh in a good way so] Janis: [hmm, maybe a screw off Mia's bed, something like that, like no reason to but for the mems] Jimmy: [when you can just kiss her because there's a coach full of people about to use as the excuse we're past needing] Janis: [enjoy that as you fully got cockblocked earlier lads and you aren't over it] Jimmy: [even if some idiot cheers you won't care] Janis: [didn't even when it was fully 'fake' so not caring now you actually wanna] Jimmy: [exactly and likewise what is Mr Lucas gonna do, you're already in detention forever] Janis: [nearly home just leave 'em alone for a hot sec sir] Jimmy: [you'll regret it if you don't sir because they'd be fuming] Janis: [already tieless so watch out] Jimmy: [I doubt they're the only couple on this entire trip so calm down] Janis: [even if most people would have a shade more decorum 'cos not tryna be THE couple, still lol] Jimmy: [at least Pablo didn't come on the trip because he and Mia are the anti couple] Janis: [thank god he's in the year above if we stick to when he was born before] Jimmy: [might as well tbh] Janis: [we know the twins were the biggest mistake of all soz ladies] Jimmy: [not forgiving Caleb for treating Ali like that in her grief] Janis: [yeah that was fucked hence no one can grieve you properly, along with the rest] Jimmy: [anyways he should teach her some more sign language insults because people on this coach are annoying af] Janis: [doing it at this girl] Jimmy: [he'd be so amused] Janis: [so jealous] Jimmy: [she's so brazen like they are the talk of this trip gal what do you think you're doing] Janis: [when you think you that bad, I think not honey] Jimmy: [egg on your face when he brings her to your party and they make sure you're a flop] Janis: [makes your party all about them, like have you been here on this trip or] Jimmy: [love it, it's what you deserve for trying to make Janis look a fool/steal her man] Janis: [tbh] Jimmy: [is there any other coach moments/convos we wanna have?] Janis: [we probably got the jealousy across well, and it's bound to be more of the shameless kissing 'cos you can vibe? so we can probably skip to when they've had to go home for the hottest of secs before this party?] Jimmy: [I'm fine with that cos you know he gotta go sort his siblings out and have a fight with Ian if he's there or steal his stash again if he's not on top of putting on a #lewk for this party] Janis: [exactly, likewise you do have to see your mum for a hot sec and slay on this hoe now obvs] Jimmy: [sends her a ridiculous outfit selfie of something he's absolutely not gonna wear to this party cos he's a nerd] Jimmy: 👍? Janis: so torn between telling you it's perfect and the fact I will have to pretend I'm 😍 to see you Jimmy: you have to pretend you're 😍 to see me any road Janis: yeah Janis: sadly only think it's funny if it makes your life harder though, not mine so Jimmy: back to the drawing board Janis: 😱 the 😎 isn't effortless?! Janis: 💔 Jimmy: not trying to please myself, just you Jimmy: nowt effortless about that Janis: you calling me high-maintenance? Jimmy: if the 😒 fits, Julie Janis: not gonna apologize for having standards, new boy Jimmy: weren't asking you to Janis: wouldn't be wise Janis: that outfit come with a 🤐? Jimmy: [sends her a selfie of him with his hoodie zipped over his head like this one does] Janis: much better Janis: some would say 👍 Jimmy: *🥇 Jimmy: Good job I've got 2 then Janis: s'alright, not gonna keep it for the mems Janis: took 2 🔩s Jimmy: I thought you were gonna say it were alright 'cause you took Helena's meds out the pocket Janis: that goes without saying Janis: who am I Jimmy: exactly why it threw me for a sec, mate Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: What you rolling your eyes at me for? Janis: not a druggie, tah very much Jimmy: never said you necked 'em, did I? Janis: whatever Jimmy: don't get another strop on Janis: don't you start Janis: leave it, alright Janis: meet you outside hers Jimmy: Alright Janis: are all that lot invited too? Jimmy: Dunno Janis: not gonna hope but Jimmy: 🤞 they are or ain't? Janis: had enough of 'em for a lifetime Janis: but 🐓 🦃 🦚 🦜 🦢 🦩 one stone Jimmy: could 📌 it on 'em why the party was shite Janis: not a stretch at all, yeah Janis: my sister's parties are famously shit and they all get wasted after a drink Jimmy: 🤞 they got their golden tickets an' all then Janis: 💀👑 the type to invite herself regardless Jimmy: 💰💰💰 Janis: shameless Janis: got that in common with the hostess anyway Jimmy: she another rich girl? Janis: no idea Jimmy: you know owt about her? Janis: nothing we can use, I don't reckon Janis: barely know who she is, if I'm honest Jimmy: be alright, crap parties are a piece of piss compared to 😎🚬 ones Janis: standard, you mean an' all Jimmy: goes without saying Janis: you been a party here yet? Jimmy: don't need to have to stand by what I said Janis: same wherever you end up, yeah Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Janis: people are predictable Jimmy: weren't hoping any of these knobheads would impress me, don't worry Janis: not a rep to make sure you're having an AMAZING time Jimmy: only with you, that's why it's #goals Janis: naturally Janis: #notlikeothergirls is the branding to go for Jimmy: no ❄ though, that's Mia's dad's Janis: gonna stop pushing now, are you Janis: good to know Jimmy: piss off Janis: no need to be aggy Jimmy: but there's every need for you to have a go, is there? Janis: who said I was having a go Janis: joke, relax new boy Jimmy: 👌 Janis: don't be moody Jimmy: stop doing my head in Janis: fine Jimmy: 👍 Janis: 🖕👋 Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: not okay to use my own move against me Jimmy: go on then, tell me my every move Janis: not 💀👑 Jimmy: could use the same 🥺😢😭😤😠😡🤬🤯 scale still Janis: go on then Janis: where are you Jimmy: 🥺 obvs Janis: if anyone asks, same Jimmy: I am asking, dickhead Janis: we're telling the truth now? Jimmy: Why not? Janis: why are you 🥺 then? Jimmy: you ain't answered where you are Janis: solid 😤 Jimmy: There you go, that'll be why I'm 🥺 Janis: yeah, I'm that easily deterred Janis: what's up Jimmy: What's up with you? Janis: is there a punchline or? Jimmy: 🤡🥊 Janis: 😤 is my 😒 Jimmy: so you're alright? Janis: yeah, I'll survive Janis: your turn Jimmy: What? Janis: to answer Jimmy: I did do Janis: properly Jimmy: you heard me, it's your fault ☀ Janis: it ain't Jimmy: Why do you want me to move across to 😭? Jimmy: bit rude Janis: ugh Janis: be like that Jimmy: UGH yourself babes Janis: just trying to entertain myself on this bus Janis: you're NO help Jimmy: what kind of help are you after? Janis: 🤡🤡🤡 Jimmy: [sends her whatever DM the girl who invited him to this party has sent him since said invite] Janis: cringe Jimmy: You wanna reply to it? Janis: as me or you? Jimmy: whichever one suits you, babe Janis: [writes something from him about really looking forward to the party so she thinks she's in/more sting when it flops] Janis: send that then Jimmy: [does and shows her that it's sent] Janis: 👍👍 Janis: might need to mute her 'til we get there now though Jimmy: are you gonna be my mate again now? Janis: depends Jimmy: ? Janis: what are the perks like? Jimmy: that the kind of mate you are? Janis: just saying, if my deal is better being your fake girlfriend Janis: got to consider these things Jimmy: if you can't handle being both Jimmy: not very 🥇 of you but alright Janis: you just can't get enough of me Jimmy: I get it, you can't 🤹 Jimmy: have to leg it off to the 🎪 on my own 🎻💔 Janis: 🦁 tamer Janis: you're already the 🤡 and I can't grow a beard either so Jimmy: can't be a 🤡 and a 🐻!!!!!!!!! Jimmy: #whoamI? Janis: omg babes Janis: existential crisis o'clock! Jimmy: 😱😱😱😱😱 Janis: drag me for trying to pick between 💘 or 🤗 Janis: you're SUCH a mess, no offense Jimmy: none taken obvs Janis: fine, friendzone me Jimmy: can't win with you today Janis: bit rude Janis: if you wanna do party girl, then just let me dump you Jimmy: if I wanted to I just wouldn't have invited you Janis: no, because that's not the deal Janis: we both agreed already Jimmy: I know what the deal is, tah very much Janis: it's a compliment Janis: i'm saying you ain't a complete 🐍 Jimmy: 💕 Janis: yeah Janis: that's the plan Jimmy: What time do you want me to meet you in the 🦁 den then? Janis: there's a bus stop like five minutes from hers Janis: meet me there at Janis: do we wanna be fashionably late for the 😎 or on time ish to sabotage some more? 🤔 Jimmy: I got nowt else on Janis: alright so [the earlier side of a party starting] Jimmy: 👍 Janis: asked Grace, they are going Janis: made a big Thing™ of getting ready all of 'em without her so Jimmy: charming Janis: yeah well she knows what she did, like 🔪🔪🔪 Jimmy: I get it 🩸🩸🩸 on her own hands not coming out our 💘s Janis: now she's not gonna throw herself at you for Mia's amusement, sorta served her purpose Janis: 'til the next one, obvs Jimmy: I should've made better ☕ my bad, Gracie Janis: 🙄 Janis: obvs Jimmy: what's obvs is that she don't order a latte to support my 🎨 Jimmy: Mia should've known it'd never be a goer Janis: weird, beige is right up her alley Jimmy: her order don't come out purple or owt, don't worry Janis: even I could gather that Jimmy: I can't give you a 🏆 but Janis: could if you put some coffee in it Jimmy: rather put 🥃 in there but alright Janis: when you're off the 🕥 Jimmy: I didn't realise your plan to fuck this party up was that I serve ☕ Jimmy: 🥇💡 Jimmy: get traced right back to 💀👑 Janis: never work Janis: it's your 2nd biggest 😍 pull Jimmy: good job the only 🕥 I'm on is yours then Janis: safe to say the way you froth does not have me doing the same Jimmy: such a way with words, you Jimmy: SO romantic Janis: has been said Jimmy: TOTALLY won't be 💭💕😍 when I am at work tomorrow, tah Janis: you're welcome for the distraction and the third degree burns Jimmy: how #goals Janis: get to get my own back and nurse you SO HARD Jimmy: you're welcome that I'll be a well easier patient than you Janis: what I'm hearing is lazy Jimmy: you sound like a Tory, I'll go if you've got Mia's dad in another 🗨 like Janis: who could compete Janis: I understand 🥉 Jimmy: 👋 Janis: Can't believe he's so ugly Janis: if you're gonna risk incest, like Jimmy: What 'cause she's so fit it's a massive shock? Janis: 🙄 yeah, you worked that out Jimmy: I know it'll be a struggle but don't dump me for her Janis: shut up Janis: if I was gay, I'd have taste Jimmy: at least 🥉 Jimmy: she ain't on the podium Janis: thanks for your professional opinion Janis: I'm not gonna get someone else involved in this charade Jimmy: but I'm lazy? Alright 😏 Janis: gotta break the ⛓ Janis: tah Jimmy: 💔 that your 🏆💪 were just some bollocks rumour Janis: not carrying you around either Janis: 💀 from 💔 Jimmy: I heard you, wanting me to lie down and 💀💀💀 in the dirt, weren't it? Jimmy: ✔💕 Janis: 🥺🙏 Jimmy: I'll let your bus roll over me Jimmy: job done Janis: be waiting a while Jimmy: #kinkunlocked Janis: slowburn? Jimmy: love a bit of a waiting game, me Jimmy: 🏆 best dad ever 🏆 for pissing about with this will we, won't we fuck off out of here Jimmy: if you're gonna risk incest Janis: how sweet of him Jimmy: right Janis: gutted my ma got that all out of her system when I was 👶 Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Janis: mhmm Janis: but alright with not having to have them tag along Jimmy: 🍻 to that Janis: how's your brother Jimmy: did you get an SOS 🦇 girl? Janis: nah Janis: just asking Jimmy: [sends her sign language stuff on how to ask how someone is so she could ask if she wanted to] Janis: alright, alright Janis: 🖕👋 would suffice Jimmy: it were you who said you wanted something to do 🥱🚍 Jimmy: have a go Janis: what if one of these old bags knows it too then I'm stuck in a conversation Jimmy: call me, I'll sort it out Jimmy: but 🖕👋 would probably suffice there an' all Janis: 😱 Janis: shocking behaviour Janis: I would NEVER Jimmy: if you get it right you can ask that lass how's she's doing when her party goes tits up Jimmy: so crack on Janis: 😒 hmm Janis: manipulative but alright Jimmy: are you gonna be mardy about her all night? Janis: obviously not Janis: how would that make me look Jimmy: I meant here 🗨 @ me Janis: I'm not being mardy Jimmy: ���� you Janis: you all the time Janis: not taking it personally, am I Jimmy: told you before, I ain't a mind reader Janis: I'm not mardy at you Jimmy: Okay Janis: It's her, I told you Jimmy: Yeah Janis: dunno what her problem with me is Jimmy: she don't look as good in green as Mr Lucas, massive problem, that Janis: she can see him after class and take it up with him, like Jimmy: long as he don't stick her in detention with us Janis: then I will be 😒 with you Jimmy: baby 🥺 Janis: wanna be alone with you and Mr Lucas, obvs Jimmy: duh, you'll have gone 3 weeks without him by then Jimmy: near torture Janis: don't remind me 💔 Jimmy: I'll have to send him a 💌 when I go Janis: we're not sharing Jimmy: you're alright, I don't reckon he'll be about having a LDR with me Jimmy: he's very physical Janis: not 🥈 Janis: just 'cos you've pissed off Jimmy: you're 🥈 with me here Janis: fuck right off Jimmy: There she is, my 🦘🥊 Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Janis: 😍😍😍 look better with bruises Jimmy: your blatant kink, that Jimmy: 🔓 Janis: just true Janis: the less you look like you the better, DUH Jimmy: any excuse to wear my 😎 suits me Janis: true 💘 Jimmy: 😘 Janis: did you go for the hoodie then? Jimmy: is it a dealbreaker? Janis: could be Jimmy: I could grab it then Janis: what are you wearing Jimmy: Don't you wanna wait and see? Janis: I'll still be able to fake my 😍 without the surprise Jimmy: [a selfie of whatever lewk he's serving] Janis: yeah Janis: good job 👍 Jimmy: Tah Janis: don't you wanna make sure I look okay? Jimmy: don't need to Janis: I could totally shame you Jimmy: you couldn't Janis: trust 💪🏆 Jimmy: I don't care what you've got on, not a mean lass Janis: just getting it off, gotcha Jimmy: just leave out spending it about, not very #goals of me Janis: couldn't be non-goals if we tried Janis: bar's that low tonight Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt baby Janis: mhmm Jimmy: show me then Janis: [going relatively hard here we can presume because these basics ALWAYS do so you need to do it but better] Jimmy: [I likewise think he's gone harder than he would so I vibe it] Janis: [we out here] Jimmy: [pinterest has cockblocked me as usual] Janis: [I've not looked yet but we know the vibes] Jimmy: Oi Janis: what you oi'ing at? Jimmy: you can't be saying the bar's that low and giving me that Janis: what do you mean Jimmy: I mean you know what you're doing wearing something so 🏆 worthy Janis: yeah, I do know what I'm doing Janis: you can trust in that Jimmy: 👍 Janis: 😏 Janis: you can say I look fuckable, it's the point Jimmy: and you reckoned it were me displaying shocking behaviour a bit ago Jimmy: 🧼👄 Janis: must've been wishful thinking then 😇🤓 Jimmy: I get it, your SO 🥱🚍 you've gotta take the piss now Jimmy: stop thinking about me, girl Janis: guilty Jimmy: 👮🚔 Jimmy: you just wanna be back in chains of any sort, well predictable you Janis: gotta practice having this shit on 🔒 Janis: lads don't even wanna claim 'em after, never mind hold 'em down Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: chuffed to be your lab 🐀 Joan Janis: never poured acid in your 👀s Janis: lucky little 🐀 boy Jimmy: Tah for not doing owt to the 👂 growing out my back an' all Jimmy: know what you're like, lucky it's still attached Janis: gives you character Janis: pick you out of a lineup with your fellow whiteboys Jimmy: #newschoolnewme Janis: wait 'til I make a little maze for you, buzzing, you'll be Jimmy: 🎨🏆🥇 Janis: and 💪 Janis: combination of our 💘s #SUCHgoals Jimmy: we did it, we merged!! 👏👏 Janis: 5 WHOLE 👂S!!!! Jimmy: can't top that, might as well turn that bus around and go home, mate Janis: Okay Keanu Jimmy: no dickhead can deny that outfit could stop traffic Janis: smooth Jimmy: til you 🤮 Janis: not gonna get that wasted, even if I look like 'em Jimmy: Duh pisshead, I meant from the hard braking Jimmy: and you don't look like them Janis: I'm 💪 Jimmy: SUCH an athlete, yeah, I've heard Jimmy: it were bollocks though, don't rub that in again, tah Janis: the 1994 film or my athleticism? Janis: either way, how DARE you Jimmy: Both obvs Jimmy: I'll dry your eyes if you do mine Janis: not hot Janis: 👎 Jimmy: weren't what I were going for Jimmy: you're on one, not me Janis: you're trying to get me to 🤬 Janis: but I've got Helena's 💊s so you can't bring me ⬇ Jimmy: say that again when I'm carrying you down them bus steps Janis: that won't look kidnappy at all Jimmy: is that you trying to put me off? Jimmy: have another go Janis: 👠 are great weapons Jimmy: nowt I don't already know Jimmy: had a girlfriend before Janis: sure she couldn't kick as well as me Janis: whatever you reckon Jimmy: no need, just chucked 'em at me instead Janis: under or over? Jimmy: @ her if you want tips Janis: no tah Janis: not that bitch that stalks all your exes to make sure they're fatter than me Jimmy: only got the one, wouldn't take you long Janis: yeah? Janis: still Janis: sounds delightful and my inbox is full enough Jimmy: mine an' all Jimmy: delighted for us, she is Janis: you probably can't tell her it's fake, yeah Janis: usually wouldn't be an issue with her being miles away but love to break that scandal by the sounds of Janis: 😬 Jimmy: weren't planning to tell her nowt Janis: if it gets her to 😶 Jimmy: less than nowt would do Janis: fairplay Janis: know the sort Jimmy: 💔🎻😭 is her sort Jimmy: why we were such a #goals match Janis: only like magnets Janis: you attract 💔🎻😭 Janis: clearly Jimmy: what I get for being SUCH a 😒🌧 lad Jimmy: just that northern Janis: teach you how to be ☀ obvs Jimmy: reckon you've got enough time, do you? Janis: reckon I'm that good Jimmy: it don't matter what you reckon, bighead Janis: rude Jimmy: you can't give yourself the 🏆 Janis: I'm the only one who's opinion I trust so Janis: seems fake Jimmy: that's me out of a job then and your Tory heart 💔 Janis: well I'm sure it'd be top goals to change my mind Jimmy: I wouldn't put any 💰 on it if I were you Jimmy: unless Mia's dad is paying Janis: probably LOVES gambling on poor kids Jimmy: goes without saying Janis: wonder if any of our other pals are gonna show Jimmy: Depends how selective she were with the invites Jimmy: be quality if she's betting on it just being me and her Janis: oh Christ, don't Jimmy: it's alright, I ain't worried about chucking her out of her own house Janis: that's easy regardless Janis: slightly smaller scale Janis: gotta secure her room asap, also goes without saying Jimmy: but you still said it Janis: it was thick, nor Northern, right? Jimmy: I know what I'm doing an' all Janis: I know Janis: I said you looked good too Jimmy: I heard what you said and I weren't 🎣 Janis: 🤏 Janis: but since you washed my mouth out I can't be any more descriptive than that o Janis: so* Jimmy: if I wanted you to say owt you'd know about it Janis: 👍 Jimmy: how far away are you? Janis: [when ages isn't even a pisstake] Jimmy: [oh that bus journey such good times to come] Janis: weren't exaggerating Jimmy: never said you were Jimmy: I just wanna know where to be Jimmy: ain't far to hers from mine, must be why she likes me Janis: if she knows where you live that's the least of your worries, no? Jimmy: 💀👑 bound to have told everybody by now Jimmy: been stalking me for ages, her Janis: least she's never been in your gaff Janis: far as you know Jimmy: I'd have found strands of hair or 🦷🦷 all about Janis: exactly Janis: clean-up is no joke Jimmy: unless the 🐕 ate 'em Jimmy: find me 💀💀💀 then Janis: not before me she won't Jimmy: I'll try and hang on for you, Jules Janis: least you could do Jimmy: my stamina being what it is, might take a lot Janis: ⬇side of having a 👴 fake boyfriend Jimmy: brb gotta screenshot that to sir so he knows his place Janis: cucked again Jimmy: #kinkfulfilled 💕 he's welcome Janis: your generosity is known, above and beyond, you Jimmy: it's been said before, your originality needs work Janis: you're the one censoring me Jimmy: only so you don't put words in my mouth Jimmy: when I wanna give you a compliment, there's loads on the tip of my 👅 Janis: conveniently you never do so how do I know that? Janis: 🧠📖? Jimmy: You never wanna take 'em more like Janis: Psh Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: 🥺 😢 😭 😤 😠 😡 🤬 🤯 only please and thanks Jimmy: *😭 Jimmy: as per Janis: Baby Jimmy: 🐻 Janis: that's why I'm trying to get you 😠 Jimmy: soon as we get there ✔ Janis: you make a handy pillow, say that Jimmy: and you wonder why I'm censoring you Janis: I'm well serious Janis: how am I meant to take a nap now Jimmy: poor baby Janis: 🥺 now Jimmy: I'll @ Helena see if she's got any uppers an' all Janis: fine Janis: scout the shoulder talent on this bus whilst you're at it Jimmy: not your pimp, remember Janis: delete the creeper shots then, shall I Janis: UGH Jimmy: do what you like, my dear Janis: naturally Jimmy: you've made me tired now, tah for that Janis: how weren't you anyway Jimmy: didn't have chance Janis: being 'round our peers is exhausting Janis: can't wait for this holiday to actually begin Jimmy: it's alright for you, I'll have to be around 'em more when it does Janis: yeah, that's shit Janis: only see the ones that cba to walk their dogs, and the gals, obvs Jimmy: least you won't have to see me walking ours Jimmy: if my sister don't do it, don't get done Janis: yeah, right silver-lining that Janis: 'cos I don't drink the shit you serve either Jimmy: soz I'm not a paid barman Janis: 💔 Jimmy: have to crack on with stealing Ian's 🥃 for a bit longer Jimmy: gutted though I am Janis: works for me Janis: I'll get on it with pulling my weight on that front Janis: know someone nearby, stop there first Jimmy: there won't be nowt left for you if you don't hurry up driving that bus, Sandra Jimmy: be a good shout Janis: Keanu would never Jimmy: @ him to take you to this party, don't bother me Janis: the ONE boy not in my DMs, would you believe 🤷 Jimmy: he'd never make a move either so I can, yeah Janis: what you saying, that I think you > keanu? Jimmy: I'm saying it don't matter how big your head is, he's too sad Jimmy: no ☀ for him Janis: 😭 on your level now Jimmy: soz that's your type, gotta be hard going Janis: he might be an outlier, all you know Jimmy: What's the fuck is that? Janis: like, he's an anomaly, one-of-a-kind-one-off and the rest of my 'type' is 👌 Jimmy: Like you said, for all I know Janis: as you said, not my pimp, so you don't need to know one way or the other Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: still weren't 🎣 you can calm down Jimmy: my rod is well away Janis: you're at home, yeah? Janis: so that is your business and your prerogative Janis: ⏲ not started Jimmy: very generous of you Janis: not 💭 about it or nothing Janis: 😇 Jimmy: you're far too tired, I know Janis: cheek of you Janis: you're the 👴 with NO stamina Jimmy: you're the one that were going on and ON about it Jimmy: giving it all that 🥺🥺🥺 Jimmy: which is a bit rude when there's nowt I can do to help Janis: would I set you up to fail? Janis: sounds fake Janis: you could entertain me Jimmy: Go on, how do you want me to wake you up? Janis: how do you reckon Jimmy: I reckon you should tell me Janis: even though you already know? Jimmy: if you reckon I do then there's no challenge saying it, is there? Janis: depends Jimmy: on what? Janis: if you reckon there's challenge in hearing it Jimmy: You reckon I wouldn't accept it if there were? Janis: Have to think on that Jimmy: til you fall asleep at any rate Janis: stop questioning my stamina! 😏 Jimmy: I ain't done once Jimmy: you said it Janis: I know Jimmy: I ain't trying to trick you into a Q&A or owt Jimmy: no questions Janis: damn, I LOVE talking about myself Jimmy: loads of better games if that's what you're after to stay awake though Janis: go on Jimmy: I dunno which of 'em if any are 🚍 appropriate Jimmy: unless you paddys play by different rules Janis: I'm sure I'm obligated to tell you our rules would only make it more inappropriate Janis: we can play at the party? Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: but we better keep it between me and you, no other dickhead's supposed to be threatened with a good time Janis: 'course Janis: know any 2-player games? Jimmy: I'll 💭 while you think on how I've never backed down from any challenge I heard yet Janis: dangerously close to a promise that you won't ever Jimmy: Why would I? Janis: Promise? Janis: Yeah, fuck knows Jimmy: or ever back down Janis: can't answer that, like Jimmy: you could Jimmy: don't sound like me, for a start Janis: alright Jimmy: say it like you fake mean it, babe Janis: I do mean it, dickhead Jimmy: that's better Janis: you've picked now to be hot about it Jimmy: you wanted entertaining Janis: I did Janis: not complaining Jimmy: aren't you? Jimmy: don't sound like you, that Jimmy: if this is the REAL bus driver, focus on the job at hand, dickhead Janis: he's well distracted tbh Janis: you know when they have their mate on for a chat? Janis: can't do that at any other job Jimmy: could chat to you when I'm serving ☕ if I wanted Janis: alright, smartarse Janis: only if I ordered, or your manager would be up in your face for slacking Jimmy: Yeah, I get it what you're on about, I'm not meant to, would be a decent reason to bother Janis: for you, definitely Jimmy: Oi Janis: what am I getting out of it Janis: beyond your delightful company Jimmy: What do you want? Janis: not a latte 💔 Janis: soz, your 🎨 like Jimmy: you don't need to support it, you inspire it Janis: 💘💘💘 Janis: could be worth coming in when 💀👑 squad is about Janis: not every time but, you know, at least a few Jimmy: lunch time is a good shout, they hang about for ages then Janis: yeah, alright, I'll find a day I can do that then Jimmy: 👍 Janis: not ideal if I have to stand outside with the 🐕s obvs Jimmy: we can make it work Jimmy: there's massive windows they can 👀 us from Janis: goldfish bowl Janis: I know the vibe Janis: even if I'm anti it Jimmy: you won't have to say nowt nice to me, what more do you want? Janis: I'm always nice Jimmy: you won't have to say owt #goals to me then Jimmy: you know what I mean Janis: Yeah, I do Janis: already agreed and all, no need to work any harder, like Jimmy: ain't hard work and even if it were, not the lazy git you keep saying Janis: now you're 🎣 Jimmy: bollocks Jimmy: not letting you slag me off ain't the same as being after a compliment Janis: what I reckon don't matter anyway, apparently Jimmy: only when it comes to 🏆 Jimmy: I give 'em, you get 'em Jimmy: that were all I said Janis: 👍 Jimmy: don't be a dickhead about it Janis: I'm not Janis: focusing on driving Jimmy: I get it 💣 weren't your top 💀💀💀 Janis: always you, babes Jimmy: I'll keep it more personal 💕 I remember that's how you wanted it Janis: how much do you remember, exactly? 🤔 Jimmy: 🔪 'cause it were more personal, that were it Janis: 💣 for one person is just overkill Jimmy: it'd do the whole 🚍 don't worry Janis: boy, you're special Janis: not going 'round 💀💀💀 everyone willy nilly Jimmy: Alright, that were a nice thing to say, I'll give you that Janis: romantic, you said Jimmy: Yeah Janis: you care what you drink or what? Jimmy: or what Janis: ✔ answer Jimmy: weren't a real question, you saw me drink Ms Burke's Janis: can afford to be a bit more selective, is why I asked Janis: but can't get more than a bottle so Jimmy: we'll rinse this lass when we get there Janis: standard Janis: if she were just expecting you, might be champagne Jimmy: who does she think I am? Janis: someone to treat right, OBVS Janis: long as she's done the chocolate covered strawberries too, might go a bit easier on her Jimmy: you can have them, I'll say I'm allergic Janis: you're adorable Jimmy: might be, we don't have 🍓 in the north Janis: leave the 🎻 story at the door though Janis: trying be less likable, remember Jimmy: long as I've got you to keep on reminding me, be alright Janis: ha, funny 🖕 Jimmy: I'm well serious, I need your help Janis: 'cos I'm such a dick, yeah, I know Jimmy: 'cause she is and you've got 🥇💡 Janis: got vodka Janis: safest bet Janis: be at that bus stop in under 10 Jimmy: Already there Janis: 😇 Jimmy: *😎🚬 Janis: 😇🚬 I'll allow Jimmy: *😈🚬 Janis: Prove it Jimmy: Alright Janis: alright Jimmy: in under 10 Jimmy: however you want Janis: however? Jimmy: you heard Janis: [show up and do a dramatic run (careful) off this bus to even more dramatically kiss him, like clearly this party is quite central so MAYBE someone is walking past, who can be sure, but lbr the excuse is only an afterthought if he asks at this point lol] Jimmy: [sitting her at this bus stop because do be careful babe because we're on a 'mission' before we get there and it's to add any lovebites where there aren't in any skin you can see when she's wearing that lewk but of course that's not extra enough so he has to go over her others too starting at her neck and being very thorough obvs but they've had like no time to fade at all so he's just kissing her shamelessly, we all know it] Janis: [such extra but real reactions as if it hasn't been the hottest of secs since you saw each other, grant you you did get interrupted but maybe not your brightest idea to start this in public when you got places to be, love it] Jimmy: [you two are the best] Janis: [we could always have someone from school go by, a lad like wheyyyyy, but letting you have this for now] Jimmy: [give you a minute but not long enough for this to get out of hand] Janis: [we know we're immediately moving to sit on him instead] Jimmy: [I fully support that even if it means it's easier for you two to go too hard in public lol] Janis: [start as you mean to go on lowkey] Jimmy: [we ain't even gonna make it to this club energy again, we know where your daughter gets it from in the future lads] Janis: [mhmm, blame your lack of chill on them girl, it's valid] Jimmy: [none of your kids have any chill romantically and we all know it] Janis: [the trouble they get in 'cos of...damn you and your romcom romance JJ] Jimmy: [it makes me die cos they are the two characters least likely to start in a romcom] Janis: [we did that boo] Jimmy: [anyway get out of this bus stop before you give some old lady a heart attack, gotta dramatically carry her into this party like she's your bride, sucks to suck gal whose it is] Janis: [not invited, turns up like cleopatra lmao] Jimmy: [also drink some of your vodka on the way babe you've gotta catch up to him cos he's been dipping into Ian's stash] Janis: [bleurgh straight vodka but yes, kill those tastebuds] Jimmy: [I literally could not but you two are not me thankfully] Janis: [shoutout to fearghal for giving you a bottle for free 'cos that's the kind of granddad he is, just the one though] Jimmy: [he's a soft touch but not a mug and we stan] Janis: [just discussing the plan here but being saucy snuggly in-between 'we're gonna have to be social, I reckon, to properly make sure it all goes to shit' sad face like ugh] Jimmy: [such a dramatic ugh reaction of his own that isn't even fake cos he's antisocial af but nods because she's right] Janis: ['we'll find time...still need breaks, right' going for his pocket so you can get a 🚬 to pass back and forth 'cos no sense not sharing when you are this close rn] Jimmy: ['how long have you been lying to me then?' cos she was a mind reader there] Janis: ['just so cool, it's known' 🙄😏] Jimmy: [😏] Janis: ['unless you're talking about all the other lies, then-' does a 😬 and puts a finger to his lips like shh] Jimmy: [being saucy with that finger cos you walked into that one gal] Janis: ['don't drop me' as if he's the one being affected rn] Jimmy: [holds her tighter like I won't but also just because] Janis: [giving him such a LOOK 'cos we out here looking good feeling better] Jimmy: [forever giving her a LOOK back because likewise and also that selfie did not do justice to how either of them look IRL] Janis: [lord knows I probably don't have one so fully use your imagination here lol] Jimmy: [we know they are both serving that's all that matters] Janis: [as if you don't show up everyone else without trying] Jimmy: [that's the tea, better have you show up cos it's probably not far] Janis: [just being like omg hi and so friendly 'cos can't know it's you two, even though you literally wanna murder this girl for shading you] Jimmy: [using all your barista charm because if you can do it for the Mia's of the world you can do it for anyone and holding onto her still even when you put her down l like I got you gal cos you're a team and you know she's fuming] Janis: [you really thought he was gonna ditch her the second he got off the bus for you like??? ok miss deluded] Jimmy: [some people really love themselves and think they're the shit] Janis: [tea, @Mia 'cos she's lowkey so average looking no offense to the actress lol] Jimmy: [and lbr you also thought he just wanted to hook up with her and then he'd be onto the next like how rude on so many levels] Janis: [we know that is how most teen boys operate but they were going in for the 💘 ting] Jimmy: [my soft boy would never] Janis: [the cheek, so, what's the first step into making this party shit I wonder] Jimmy: [well if there was hardly any booze/it ran out too soon that'd ruin it but they can't single handedly drink it all so they might have to hide it or something lol] Janis: [that's a good idea, or tip it if we being really shamelessly shady] Jimmy: [hide the stuff you want in a bush or something to grab later and pour the shit you don't down the sink] Janis: [good plan, leave the really basic wine coolers and shit beers] Jimmy: [mhmm, no loss there, and obvs you can drink plenty of the good shit too but no need to give yourselves alcohol poisoning on what you think is your last night together potentially] Janis: [just acting like that's all she's supplied like idk what to tell you lads, and being generous with your bottle that is somehow not going down lol lol] Jimmy: [god bless, I'm trying to think how else they could mess shit up without it being obvious hmmm] Janis: [shit tunes shit tunes, even shit by other people's standards that mysteriously keep getting put on] Jimmy: [gotta be a sneaky 👻 Jimothy, great idea babe, also keep getting turned up so loud the neighbours will be fuming even when the hostess turns them down] Janis: [100%, also easy to trash this gaff sneakily without anyone else having the fun of actually doing it 'cos no one is wasted or vibing] Jimmy: [wonderful throwback mems to when they were trashing Mia's room on the trip pre-hook up so I approve] Janis: [think about that, lads, allowed to get distracted momentarily] Jimmy: [proud of you for not getting distracted sooner tbh, shows how much this gal offended you] Janis: [guess you've not been allowed to dance or be alone 'cos setting the shit awkward mood of this party but still, well done] Jimmy: [I have a glorious mental image of peeps leaving like well this is shit] Janis: [damage you done to your rep just by being a rude hoe, think on] Jimmy: [Mia and Pablo have to rock up though cos a shit party is what you deserve] Janis: [ugh couple of the year alert lmao, Pablo is so rude he'll be over it the minute he arrives] Jimmy: [at least Janis won't have to deal with him long] Janis: [pretending to be nice to him is something we're not doing] Jimmy: [that's too far and we all know it, likewise Grace is ignoring you assuming she's there too boy] Janis: [she could be, we just said the flat whites weren't letting her get ready with them but she coulda still showed] Jimmy: [shown up with some boy that Mia didn't sanction to annoy her most likely haha] Janis: [what a party this has been for all] Jimmy: [Jimothy just like this might be the last fake dating moment we have and this is what we're doing ffs] Janis: [not going out with a bang here] Jimmy: [not even close] Janis: so 🥱 I'm on my phone Janis: ✔ Jimmy: bit rude that I'm your last resort Janis: that is partially your fault Jimmy: What have I done? Janis: made this party so 🥱 Janis: duh Jimmy: that were her Jimmy: nowt to do with me Janis: 😏 right, 'course Jimmy: Gotta be a room you can get some 💤 in, we ain't trashed the place floor to ceiling Janis: wanna go look? Janis: can't bear having 👀s on my siblings any longer Jimmy: [picks her up like come on gal let's go] Janis: ['didn't do her sister's room'] Jimmy: [heading in what he assumes is the right direction, but we know what his sense of direction is like] Janis: [pointing with your hands like indicators loling] Jimmy: [thanks for directing us bae] Janis: [like to think her sister is younger/not as much of a dick, hence we didn't trash her room] Jimmy: [agreed, we've got nothing against you hun, putting her down on this bed] Janis: ['you're sleepy too' we telling not asking okay] Jimmy: [a little lol but we're getting into a sleeping position like okay babe] Janis: [bringing up the bottle between you like a baby clove and taking a drink before offering him some] Jimmy: [taking a drink cos why not] Janis: ['you'll sleep well now' and closing his eyes like there there] Jimmy: [snuggling her like now I shall] Janis: [getting comfy 'Bill is gonna be fuming, like'] Jimmy: ['He's dramatic, there's always something with him'] Janis: ['far as endings go though...' trailing off 'well, no one's dead, are they'] Jimmy: ['not the end yet though, is it?' Thank god his eyes are still closed cos we all know where he's going with that question 'and this lass might do herself in when it is'] Janis: ['just prefer putting it out of it's misery' but that doesn't align with the plan so you can't, shamelessly looking at him in the meantime] Jimmy: [opens his eyes 'I know' because you do get it] Janis: [lowkey jumping when he does, then pushing him away playfully before he can even take the piss] Jimmy: [chucks a cushion at her cos I imagine this girl has loads] Janis: ['oi!' and using it as a weapon] Jimmy: ['Oi yourself' we just playfighting now as per] Janis: ['if you want it to look like you've messed up my hair, do it properly'] Jimmy: [pulls her hair in that meant to be pisstakey but actually really saucy way he has before on the trip] Janis: [when the reaction you have betrays you before you've even replied 'I mean, if that's the best you can do'] Jimmy: [goes harder because of the reaction more than the challenge of what she said but we can pretend that's why] Janis: [biting our lip so hard, probably bright red] Jimmy: [running his thumb over her bottom lip like don't cos you shamelessly wanna hear her even though you can't pretend anyone else would be able to, however shit this party is] Janis: ['you're- you aren't terrible at this, you know'] Jimmy: ['you're alright an' all' but we're saying it with more feeling than the words suggest] Janis: ['then let's do it some more' not clear if you mean like, right now, or let's keep doing this whole thing but you know] Jimmy: [when you just nod cos either way you're like yeah] Janis: [we kissing him] Jimmy: [pulling her into you via a hair pull to keep that going and making out for a while which gives you an idea and telling her you've thought of a 2 person game like she wanted and it's that one where you have to keep kissing without stopping but you're not allowed to touch and the first person who does loses] Janis: [groaning like that will be so hard but nodding 'cos duh challenge accepted] Jimmy: [the real question being who do we want to give in first? haha] Janis: [hmm, she did fall off the assault course last so give it to him this time I reckon] Jimmy: [fair that was very shaming for her, you can survive this a lot easier boy] Janis: [we all know this is not a real loss either way lol] Jimmy: [exactly so you can't pout for long] Janis: [esp when she tells you what she wants for winning] Jimmy: [saucy behaviour is afoot] Janis: [not gonna be rood and cockblock you twice in such a space of time] Jimmy: [yeah we won't be that rude] Janis: [as you have to see this party out to the bitter end, even if that's sooner than usual] Jimmy: [and LORD what fun that will be] Janis: [gonna say Pablo has fucked off so Mia is raging/fake crying somewhere now] Jimmy: [I support that wholeheartedly, would also love if Grace has left with whatever lad she came with because Mia will hate that and also it means she don't have to deal] Janis: [we know everyone is jumping ship here[ Jimmy: [it's gonna be jj and this girl soon lol] Janis: [lordt] Jimmy: [not having a 3way with you hun] Janis: [when you probably pretending it was such a casual everyone was invited mood now 'cos you being ignored lowkey] Jimmy: [that's what you get for being a dick] Janis: 👻👻👻 Jimmy: Tah for your permission to properly ghost her Jimmy: she's 👀 at me still Janis: just don't leave without me Janis: not after that bonding moment Jimmy: I carried you in, gotta carry you out an' all Janis: 👶💀 Jimmy: What kind of insult are you trying to chuck at me there? Janis: from the womb to the tomb is what that sounded like Janis: v poetic Jimmy: we'd have to do loads more bollocks Q&A's before we can make any of these dickheads believe I've known you that long Jimmy: but if you want a poem, piss easy that Janis: not looking to do or make you do that crash course Janis: know you love being artsy though so go ahead with that, like Jimmy: you've pissed on the flashcards summing up my 🎻🎻 life in a line or a drawing Jimmy: 💔 poem coming up Janis: Poor boy Janis: upload the draw my life for more views more appreciation Jimmy: ain't #goals or #dramatic enough before you got involved, girl Jimmy: no need Janis: how rude Jimmy: it's LITERALLY a compliment Janis: half a fake compliment, maybe Jimmy: I'll give you a real one if you know how to fuck with her speakers, no music would be the final ⚰🔨 Janis: easy Janis: just be distracting to 👀 at Jimmy: easier Jimmy: [I like to imagine he's like hey everyone who's still here come and play some random drinking game rn] Janis: [and you will know how to take apart electronics in a way that she won't be able to work out what's happened so have at it] Janis: [if that's in the lounge, going out that window then in the backdoor if they're in the kitchen say like just been smoking what's good] Jimmy: [team effort because he's blatantly pretending this drinking game is so northern he has to explain the rules but really he's just making it up on the spot and then as he goes along] Janis: [just watching like 😏] Jimmy: [just loving life cos he can make people do whatever he wants lowkey, what a fun way to get back at that girl by making her drink something gross and then being like ?? when the music stops #givehimanoscar] Janis: [the power, we're never as thrilled to be at a party than when we're fucking it up] Jimmy: can we go now then or what? Janis: I reckon Janis: 🙌 Jimmy: [picks her up cos he weren't joking about carrying her out] Janis: [toodle-o, hoe] Jimmy: [get those bottles and give them to the bae to hold while you carry her far far away from this shit show] Janis: [do not fall now or you'll both be dead lol] Jimmy: [we should say there are other people from the party at the park cos we said it wasn't far from his house to hers and it'll give them an excuse to be extra] Janis: [ahh teens hanging in parks, a standard] Jimmy: [sit on a swing together lads] Janis: [have some more booze now you can without looking suspish] Jimmy: [yeah you probably haven't had that much cos too busy being sneaky and ruining things] Jimmy: 👍? Janis: better than 🍾 Janis: you? Jimmy: [shows her all the shade that everyone is throwing about this party so she'll be happy] Janis: [loling and scrolling 'good'] Jimmy: [a genuine smile cos she's buzzing and he's glad and genuine 😍 for the laugh] Janis: ['gutted can't stalk Mia's bloke for the reverse revenge pics' just swinging and passing his phone back] Jimmy: ['which one?' because honestly] Janis: [rolls eyes but @ her 'true' adding 'not her dad though, that shit is well easy to find' 'cos a shameless cheat] Jimmy: [taking a big drink and lighting a 🚬 like that's so gross I need both of these things but we just living our best lives tbh] Janis: ['always a party with you, is it' so not a question but realizing how gay that sounds as a statement lol] Jimmy: [blows smoke rings at her sassily like yes it is] Janis: [😏 and taking his bottle, even if you have your own] Jimmy: [allowing it because there are peeps around but allowing it really because he is #whipped] Jimmy: bit rude Janis: bit thirsty Janis: [big swig like see] Jimmy: [😏] Janis: shut up Jimmy: I didn't say owt, it were you Janis: [pushing him but in a playful way 'cos 1. we not mad 2. we don't wanna fall 3. peeps be here] Janis: you knew what I meant Jimmy: [pulls her hair playfully cos throwback to earlier and also pisstake that he thinks she did mean it in a saucy way] Janis: [we are 😳] Janis: oi Jimmy: [looking at her so innocently like ? but boy you know] Janis: [pulling his hair like how do you like it like probably a lot okay then] Jimmy: [we kissing her before any sounds can escape like that will keep it such a mystery, Jimothy I think she still knows you're about it] Janis: [subtly putting her hands up for that mem like, still winning] Jimmy: [little lol because she's funny and we can't be mad] Janis: [return them 😍] Jimmy: [just looking at her because she's so beautiful it's rude] Janis: what? Jimmy: what? Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: ? Janis: ❓ Janis: never mind Jimmy: never mind what? Janis: [exasperated half-lol thing 'stop it'] Jimmy: [writes stop what? on her skin with a fingertip] Janis: [pretends it tickled loads as an excuse to wriggle and generally be distracting] Jimmy: [now we're LOOKING at her and it's a very different #mood] Janis: ['that's what'] Jimmy: [drawing so many ? all over her but really softly so it will actually tickle this time] Janis: [dying like 'alright, alright!'] Jimmy: [holding onto her under the pretence that we don't want her to fall which we don't but also just that bitch™] Janis: ['you're such a dickhead, you know' but softly] Jimmy: ['you're-' so soft it's like did you even say anything sir] Janis: ['well, don't start this again' like we've only just stopped ???ing boy] Jimmy: ['but you're just-' like I can't help it gal cos lbr he can't] Janis: ['you're taking the piss'] Jimmy: [shrugs because probably but again we can't overstate how much he is not trying to and doesn't mean to but also how hard it is to use words] Janis: [fake punches his jaw like oh you, 'cos gonna ignore it either way] Jimmy: [playfully pushes her but very soft] Janis: ['push me on this swing and make yourself useful'] Jimmy: [does obviously] Janis: [living your best life] Jimmy: [so much so we know y'all are gonna stay even when these peeps fuck off cos you don't wanna go home ever anyways] Janis: [definitely, we all know you weren't just here like carrying on the show, duh] Jimmy: [I vote for rain for those Jimmy: mems] Janis: [not out of the question is it, and remember when they got under the jungle gym moment and did drawings, that, ty] Jimmy: [yeah cos it's literally april so and 100% because that was iconic and we need it] Janis: [run babies run but not really 'cos who cares, you aren't going to freeze, even if your lewk is probably skimpy gal, so frolic in the rain for a bit] Jimmy: [we all know it's a #mood and he will keep you warm if needed gal] Janis: [grabbing the stash and taking it under this climbing frame when you finally do take shelter 'cos #priorities] Jimmy: [giving her whatever jacket you have on because that's the kind of fake boyfriend you are] Janis: [searching the pockets like you're looking for 💊s and then miming 💔] Jimmy: [🎻 mime] Janis: ['letdown' but snuggling into the jacket] Jimmy: [starting the doodle sesh by doing the JJ love heart without even really thinking about it] Janis: [writes some shade that that girl or the flat whites would write underneath] Jimmy: [writes the kind of reply he would write if it was a post on socials] Janis: [a realistic looking 💔 with a 🔪 in it] Jimmy: [we just drinking and nodding appreciatively at her 🎨 but then we're drawing Bill's ghost] Janis: [😏 and taking our share as we ponder our 🎨 reply, drawing some 💀s under his feet with flatwhite identifiers, like Grace's weave etc] Jimmy: [draws a 💭 for him and writes 'far as endings go....' like she said earlier and then draws a Janis hanging off the end of the bubble ready to put anyone out of their misery who isn't dead] Janis: [genuine smile, draws a cartoon him peeping over said 💭 with a pen and paper like he's copying Bill's #poetry] Jimmy: [draws a ghost version of himself floating  and crosses out the word endings because still doesn't want any of this to] Janis: [draws an arrow to the book in his cartoon hands and writes 'once upon a time...'] Jimmy: [draws it raining Helena's pills but writes 'letdown' on each pill and puts an umbrella over what she's just written like gotta protect the 🎨 but not over the cartoon JJ or ghost him cos they tough] Janis: [draws a very over-exaggerated Helena 'cos probably not that memorable or noticeable with her mouth open like gimme] Jimmy: [draws a skeleton hand coming up like Mia's gonna snatch them all] Janis: [draws herself jumping down to stamp on said skelly hand] Jimmy: [😏 and then chewing on this pen looking cute doing it obvs but then draws a phone in Mia's hand with a speech bubble coming out like it's her dad talking and threatening to sue etc] Janis: [#distracted af for a hot sec, finally drawing a bored af looking uber booby stickwoman on the other end of the phone like it's a sexline] Jimmy: [we just loling soz to be more distracting gal] Janis: [just adding tears to all the Mia's up here rn] Jimmy: [drawing Mia's dad creepily crawling down the length of this drawing area like he's gotta get to her but there's loads of heartbroken secretaries holding onto his legs and climbing over each other and fighting] Janis: [shudders but also proper lols 'too real' and then sketches out various hunger games ways they can kill each other off to be the winner] Jimmy: [adds his dad peeping like he's gonna snatch the winner and you know it's him because he looks lowkey like Jimothy and he's wearing a t-shirt that says @iantaylor8 on it] Janis: [draws a new Mia 👀 like any dad will do] Jimmy: [does his own shudder and takes a big drink but gives this Mia a crown and a sash that says like world's greatest step mum on it or something like that] Janis: [draws him but like a baby version in various situations with her being the Worst ever, like dropping him on his head etc] Jimmy: [when you start thinking about your mum so you're just having a moment ™] Jimmy: [casually downing so much of this booze suddenly] Janis: [not not noticing but we're not doing anything or saying anything either] Jimmy: [going to 🚬 whether it's stopped raining or not like gotta gooooooo] Janis: [when you're outside so you simply do not boy but pop off, just like wtafffffff over here] Jimmy: [soz gal we gotta moodily sit on this swing and be in our emotions and I'm 100% saying it's still raining so its even more like wtf boy] Janis: are you alright? Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Janis: would you prefer I ask what's wrong? Jimmy: how is that any different? Janis: you can yes or no the first Jimmy: don't be a dickhead Janis: I'm not Jimmy: I'm not doing a Q&A with you at the minute Janis: Alright Jimmy: just leave it out Janis: I said, okay Janis: [getting up like I'll be off then and gathering whatever shit you have] Jimmy: [just looking at her because you don't want her to go but you can't be like DON'T so it's v awkward] Janis: [shaking your head 'cos no more ?s] Jimmy: [passing her your 🚬 that you haven't even lit yet like that'll fix everything] Janis: [looking at it like what even but not going 'cos you can also be a headfuck, we aren't pretending otherwise] Jimmy: [shivering because she has your jacket on so you're just out here in a t-shirt like but not moving because we're very closed off rn] Janis: [chucking it at him and going back to your little den moment like you forget something, but just sitting there on your phone like okay] Jimmy: as endings go Jimmy: I'm not having that one Jimmy: makes me look like a right twat, don't you think? Janis: could do better Janis: probably be the note, yeah Jimmy: ✔ Jimmy: [comes back in and chucks her the jacket back like you'll need this if you're going but we know he just is soz] Janis: you're cold, don't be an idiot Jimmy: you might be an' all, I still don't read minds Janis: wouldn't have given it to you if I were Janis: not that nice, or at all Janis: [throwing it vaguely in his direction] Jimmy: [puts it back on her 'just that stubborn' because he is likewise that stubborn obvs lol but his voice is soft and so are his 👀] Janis: [just looking back at him 'finished having your strop now?' but as a genuine question and as soft 'cos like, no idea what that was] Jimmy: [pulling her hair out of the hood or collar of this jacket whichever it has as softly 'I don't care if I freeze to death' the unspoken implication being that he cares if she does BYE 'but if you don't rate it, we can do something else'] Janis: [just being the most still whilst this is happening, biting your lip 'cos softness, what 'go on'] Jimmy: ['I could tell you about how I didn't mean to be such a dickhead there or I could show you, it's up to you, that' the eye contact be like] Janis: [shrugs like you're so unphased either way but not breaking that eye contact 'you aren't much of a talker'] Jimmy: [kissing her on every lovebite like he did at the bus stop but a lot more indecently than you can do when you're in public, taking his time, playing particular attention to anywhere saucy af because why not eventually go down on a girl for the first time in a playground at night in the rain when you're trying to say sorry and give her something to remember you by #peakromance] Janis: [just saying his name like you literally never have, then after, saying 'I've never done that before' 'cos that #shook but he could take that to mean a number of things so you're fine lol] Jimmy: ['me either' with a shrug like it's really casual because true, you can have that first time gal] Janis: ['in a park, like' and pushing a swing like you've only just remembered where you are, low-key looking around like those people are definitely gone] Jimmy: [sits on said swing like push me then] Janis: [does, 'cos his turn] Jimmy: [looks over his shoulder at her ankle like don't hurt yourself] Janis: [rolls her eyes like, weren't worried about that five seconds ago boy] Jimmy: [rolls his own back at her but with 😏] Janis: [pushing him extra high 'jump off and you can join me'] Jimmy: [does jump off because challenge accepted but thankfully doesn't hurt himself because don't need to be #matching] Janis: [fussing after him like he has] Jimmy: [just having a drink like he's so tough and not at all a soft boy] Janis: [looking through your phone then grinning at something on socials 'I've got a surprise for you'] Jimmy: [just looking at her like ?] Janis: [showing him a snap from the girl to her story about her parents coming home and freaking out 'cos trashed 'text 'em, when I was doing the music' more of a surprise for you gal 'cos you're buzzing but sure] Jimmy: [SUCH a genuinely happy grin, we're falling in love again over here, cos the bae is so impressive] Janis: ['literally no chance of her hitting you up for a solo party now, even if she had no shame, like' grinning back 'cos he's so cute] Jimmy: ['as fake girlfriend's go, you were a top first pick' because as close as we can get rn to saying you like her 'tah for that'] Janis: ['who was your second?'] Jimmy: [shakes his head because he didn't have one and first place or nowt is forever the motto] Janis: [😏] Jimmy: [nudges her 'alright bighead, shut up' even though she didn't say anything] Janis: 'seen not heard?' raises a brow 'very retro'] Jimmy: ['I'm not my dad' shrugs as if that's not vitally important to him] Janis: ['mores the pity, I'm sure' and going to climb the climbing frame now] Jimmy: [follows her in case she needs a hand/falls off cos it's wet and he knows it'll annoy her and that's the excuse we're sticking with] Janis: ['not closing my eyes this time, you're alright' inspecting other people's graffiti efforts with disdain] Jimmy: [chucks her the pen] Janis: [correcting spelling and crossing out the slander you don't fuck with and writing more that you do like that's better 'Lucas would be so proud'] Jimmy: [takes a picture to send to him 'what were his @ again?'] Janis: [genuine 🤔 'something about virgin schoolgirls, can't quite remember'] Jimmy: [exaggerated sigh like ugh fuck's sake 'there's loads of them' but then shrugs 'you'll have to show him'] Janis: ['got a date for 3 weeks time, ain't we' shrugs back] Jimmy: ['you have' cos we're not expecting to be here] Janis: ['he wishes it were solo'] Jimmy: ['you can keep Bill's ghost for a chaperone'] Janis: ['well helpful, him' shakes her head 'end up a ghost before the first session is out myself'] Jimmy: ['what's the matter with that?'] Janis: [little laugh, 'no offense, ghost boy'] Jimmy: ['I get it, reckon undead is better than dead dead, do you?' like that's the kind of snobby vampire she is] Janis: ['don't you?' and LOOKS pointedly at all the lovebites she's done] Jimmy: [looks at her like you have your moments but then LOOKS at her and where they were in their little den like so do I] Janis: [nudges him 'shut up'] Jimmy: [🤐 mime] Janis: [looks down at the den 'don't be hasty...' and mimes unzipping his lips but climbing down like you got somewhere to be] Jimmy: [follows her being deliberately quiet about it lol] Janis: [turns 'round like 'scuse me but when we put out our hand to stop him, we leave it resting on his chest 'where you going now?'] Jimmy: [just looking at her hand and back up at her and then at her lips but we all know he isn't reading them] Janis: [moving a bit closer, putting our other arm 'round his shoulders, 'it was annoying, having to ignore you and talk to other people-' moving closer still, 'til your face is right up in his '-when I'd rather be not talking with you'] Jimmy: [doing that thing he always does where he pulls her closer somehow whenever you think they're as close as they can get] Janis: [whispering even though there's no need bar proximity rn 'I've stayed here before, it's alright, like' saying it like not a suggestion but not not a suggestion too] Jimmy: [when you can't stop yourself from looking in the direction of your house because it's literally over the road even though it's the last place you ever wanna be and then looking back at her as if you'd never looked away and nodding] Janis: [shrugs like it's really casual 'no bus back my way now anyway, so I weren't going home'] Jimmy: [takes her hand and leads her back to their little den and around it like he's doing a house tour because he's a nerd] Janis: ['snug, but well decorated' and smiles '3 out of 5 stars'] Jimmy: [draws those 3 out of 5 stars and writes her review out underneath with her name deliberately wrong and ❌ out loads of times] Janis: [writes her @ and rolls her eyes like honestly 'kill you to give me some promo?'] Jimmy: [📷 mime like he's doing a photoshoot] Janis: [🖕 at him 'cos classy] Jimmy: [takes a real photo of her because amused] Janis: ['oi' 'cos it is dark and we all know flash is a one, as if you won't still look good] Jimmy: [posts it because she does look great and tags that girl in it because he's rude] Janis: ['took a lot more photos when it last rained' we all remembering here] Jimmy: [looks at his imaginary watch and up at the sky like we've got loads of time] Janis: ['shows no sign of stopping' as if you're the kind of person who makes small talk about the weather] Jimmy: [breaks his silence to tell her to 'come here' because such a him thing to do] Janis: [crawling over so she's resting between his legs 'yeah?'] Jimmy: [takes some more pics of her like the art hoe he is so we can all pretend the lip bite is purely in concentration] Janis: ['can't say you aren't dedicated' purposefully doing the most] Jimmy: ['or that you're not inspiring' we can all imagine how his voice sounds] Janis: ['just my job' when likewise the tone is saying everything but] Jimmy: ['someone's gotta do it' but looking at her cos we all know he's glad it's her] Janis: [puts ☝️ up like, you said, first choice] Jimmy: ['you were' because it's true and obvious anyway by this point] Janis: ['let me show you why'] Jimmy: [casually stop breathing because she's the hottest person ever and makes you die] Janis: [return that favour gal] Jimmy: [say 'fuck' for that throwback] Janis: ['never done that, either'] Jimmy: ['I'll knock you a trophy up if you give me a bit of time' when you're not even taking the piss it was just that 🔥] Janis: [cuddles into him like, I can wait] Jimmy: [holding onto her really tightly because you don't wanna let go ever but you still think you've gotta] Janis: ['you cold?' 'cos you do have a hoodie between you 'so, again, somehow getting closer] Jimmy: [we taking the shameless excuse to snuggle and running with it] Janis: [can probably leave this night here?] Jimmy: [we've covered a lot of ground and it'll probably be long cos has the last bit of the school trip on it too so yeah] Janis: [can fall asleep here for a bit, no need for any further drama] Jimmy: [until he wakes up and she's already gone anyway lol lol lol] Janis: [that's the next convo baby]

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: Hey Janis: you alright? Jimmy: Are you? Janis: Obviously stressing over what to wear for community service 😱😱 Janis: nah, just the standard bullshit though, nothing unexpected or that I can't handle Jimmy: that's a good shout, I heard there's gonna be a dickhead there with a 📷 and nowt to do cos he's too 😎🚬 to do what he's told Janis: Oh God, sounds like the worst Janis: 👍 for the warning, mate Jimmy: 👍 Janis: Go on then, answer for an answer Jimmy: what are you asking? Janis: I've already asked, are you alright? Jimmy: I ain't 😭 over picking up litter, clean tables every day, me Janis: 'course Janis: 💕 it so much you wanna do it for free, right Jimmy: The CG's wage ain't nowt to write up north about Jimmy: 💔💰🎻 Janis: I'm glad you've not got a family back home you're tryna support with coffee beans Janis: might make me almost feel bad, and I can't give my family the satisfaction so fuck you, like Jimmy: that you know of Jimmy: could have a 👶 in every mine Jimmy: fit as well as mysterious, like Janis: No one is fit enough they need to reproduce on an already overpopulated planet Janis: not even you, new boy 🤷 Jimmy: never said they were wanted 👶 Jimmy: in that part of the country, who isn't an unloved bastard Jimmy: 🗬🖋 Janis: obviously Janis: in this country we had to go to yours to really do fuck all about it for 50 odd years Janis: and who wants to go to Liverpool, honestly 🤢 Janis: least if you drag it up might contribute to your funds eventually Jimmy: You don't wanna go dig up that one band they're a bit famous for then? Jimmy: proper pissed on my #datenight plans that Janis: had enough ✌ & 💕 to last a lifetime, soz Janis: photoshop me in Jimmy: but have you had enough 👻🥊? Jimmy: think on, dickhead Janis: plenty 'round here for that Janis: though too many memebers of my family are still unfortunately living so Jimmy: UGH you NEVER wanna do the things I WANNA DO!! 😣😣 Janis: 😏 fine, jump bail with me and smuggle aboard the next ferry Janis: if you're gonna be a nag, like Jimmy: now you're 🗨 Jimmy: won't have to swap you for Asia for a bit Janis: Get her to guess the band, that'd be insightful Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: Get her to do your community service, might get hit by a car or kidnapped by the twat driving long as he's got 🍬 Janis: Your attempt to get to spend more time with her is blatant Janis: 💔 she didn't show to your party, Gatsby? Jimmy: I'm just so 😍😍😍😍 soz mate Jimmy: and yeah tah for the salt in my wounds Janis: Poor boy Janis: 'least her boyfriend didn't shoot you, swings and roundabouts Jimmy: why you saying that like it's a good thing? Jimmy: born ready to ⚰ Janis: he'd not shoot me Janis: 😇 that I am Janis: wouldn't be fair Jimmy: he'd probably miss, any road Jimmy: leave me with a scar that does nowt but make me more fit and more mysterious Janis: 🙄 see, a good thing Janis: no one needs that, least of all you, so shy and retiring really, yeah Jimmy: ✔ Janis: don't you leave me on read, dickead Jimmy: or what? Janis: I won't send you a postcard when I get to where I'm really going Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: but gonna be I'm #living for the picture on the front Janis: Wish you were here has never been faker Jimmy: 💕 Janis: Wonder who grassed Jimmy: 💰 on 💀👑 Janis: Not a bet I'd take on 'cos probably Jimmy: that or your 🤵💍 wasn't as into 💔 as he reckoned he would be Jimmy: soz sir Janis: married to the job Janis: shoulda known Janis: not his school, like Jimmy: not like I fucked you on his desk, he got off way easier than he were 🗬🤤 Janis: All talk Janis: like all lads Jimmy: Oi Janis: Would you like me to tell you you're different Janis: you don't say much so it isn't untrue, on that count Jimmy: you've only got the one job, rich girl, do you seriously need me to tell you how to do it? Janis: I shouldn't put community service on my LinkedIn? 🤔 Janis: damn Jimmy: gutting I know Jimmy: you'll look proper fit in the jumpsuit an' all, all that possible promo just pissed up the wall Janis: shut up Janis: shit, I didn't ask Janis: what is gonna happen with your actual job? Janis: could you make the hours work without needing to let on to them or what Jimmy: it'll get out Jimmy: more 💰 on 💀👑 Janis: Time how long it takes her to be in your inbox with the 🖤mail Janis: make you her personal bitchboy for life Janis: ugh Jimmy: I'll just tell 'em, either they'll want me to do my shifts round it or they won't Janis: yeah Janis: sorry Jimmy: for what? Janis: if you get sacked Jimmy: dickheads need lattes all over town Janis: true Janis: shame if you don't even get a reference out of the experience though Jimmy: not sure I want one from a knobhead who's never there and reckons my name's Jamie though Janis: still devastated Janis: but not about me, being supportive Jimmy: he could be my fall guy, weren't me it were all him, shady twat Jimmy: never even set foot in a school, me Janis: Get your coworker to alibi Jimmy: he'd obvs only do it if you asked him Jimmy: like owt else Janis: don't do yourself down, babe Janis: he specifically said you seem like 'a chill guy' Jimmy: I were dragging you down if I were doing owt, babe Jimmy: but alright Janis: yeah well you've called me a slag before Janis: not news Jimmy: Have I? Jimmy: don't sound like me that Jimmy: always keep it #goals Janis: yeah, you weren't being very 'chill' either Janis: but he don't have to know Jimmy: #whenshekeepsyoursecrets Janis: every battered wife knows the drill Jimmy: @iantaylor8 Jimmy: 🤞 lad Janis: wouldn't worry, 🐷 do fuck all 'cept protect one of their own Janis: #ladsladslads Jimmy: @ my other co-workers Jimmy: been busted lads Janis: brothers in brews Janis: such a strong bond Janis: 🤞 Jimmy: making me emotional tbh Jimmy: 👮🚔💕 Janis: gotta beat real siblings, like Jimmy: speaking of, you reckon they'll let me take the 🐕 with me? Save me a job Janis: Worth asking Jimmy: 👍 Janis: I've gotta beg the speakers back from 'em so Janis: class first impressions Jimmy: I'll do it, soft lad is obvs the first impression I make as standard Janis: you saying you can bat your eyelashes better than me? Jimmy: duh Jimmy: mine are well longer than yours Janis: fuck off Jimmy: 📏 matters, Janet Janis: you'd know, fat bitch Jimmy: 😱😱😱😱 Jimmy: just 'cause I've got better tits than you, no need to start a scrap Janis: Tits don't count if you only got 'em 'cos you're obese Janis: ask your girlfriend Jimmy: I will Jimmy: properly miss her so any excuse for a 🗨 Janis: you deserve each other, truly Jimmy: Tah, my dear Janis: so you'll be pleased to know you'll be spending less time with me from now on Jimmy: why? Janis: my parents have really leaned into the narrative and have decided you're the enemy Jimmy: Bill's 👻 must've had a word Janis: Yeah Janis: might've mentioned the joyride just to really fuck 'em off and all Jimmy: You wanna call things off then? Jimmy: it weren't part of the plan, them getting Shakespearean about it Janis: nah, fuck that Janis: they'd be doing it regardless, decided they should finally give the whole parenting thing a go Janis: just saying the story can be we're being cruelly kept apart Janis: not that I'm planning to stay locked in my fucking tower actually, already made my first break so Jimmy: Alright Janis: sound more buzzing you don't have to see me, could you Jimmy: 😁😆😄 Jimmy: there you go Janis: 💕 Janis: so sweet Janis: I won't shout about my MIA status, wouldn't be #goals for you to not know where I am Jimmy: do owt for you, you know it and it's obvs vice versa Jimmy: you just proved it there Janis: 'course Janis: will say it was me and hot barista that planned it all if you need Jimmy: bollocks are you taking credit for my idea Janis: I did the heavy work Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: that's the fakest thing you've ever tried to make sound real Janis: excuse me Jimmy: you heard Janis: don't chat shit Janis: We both pulled it off but we can throw him under the 🚎 Janis: you've already taken Jamie away from me Janis: what's the point now Janis: save yourself Jimmy: shut up Janis: do you love him? Jimmy: Do you? Janis: yeah Janis: one convo and bam Janis: actually that 😍 bitch Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: I'll see myself out Janis: 'til 💀 do us part, dickhead Jimmy: that'll be you and Mr Lucas Jimmy: I'd remember if I'd been down on one knee Janis: me too Janis: so hard done by Janis: 💔 Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: you cool with being done that dirty Janis: 📏 counts for shit when you lack enthusiasm Jimmy: ain't the first time Janis: shh Janis: don't need to know how often you were down on your knees, tah Jimmy: that don't bode well for our insta q&a Janis: fake rock my world some more then Janis: selfish Jimmy: I'll climb to the top of your white tower any time, girl Jimmy: you're the one MIA Janis: Only at night Janis: gotta be up bright and early for our date 💕 Jimmy: I don't think fucking on a pile of rubbish we've just collected would be considered very #goals but I'll give it a 🥇 spin Janis: there's no way 'round how unapproved all this criminal activity is Janis: still worth it Jimmy: Dunno about you but I'm 👏🏆 in every DM Jimmy: that 😎🚬 rep been set proper in stone now Janis: Lucky you Janis: I've been too busy getting lectured Jimmy: poor baby Janis: I know Jimmy: What can I do to make you feel better? Janis: down you go Jimmy: Alright Janis: I don't know though Jimmy: ⏲ Janis: You in a rush too? Jimmy: Got loads of other girlfriends to 👀 Janis: how many fakes one though Jimmy: That'd be telling Janis: so go on Jimmy: Why would I? Janis: have multiple fake girlfriends or tell me about the others Jimmy: Well? Janis: you could get them all to do different shit for you Janis: potential there Janis: idk why you wouldn't tell me if you did though, not like it'd fake break my heart Jimmy: There's your answer then Jimmy: not gonna give away secrets you don't give a shit about hearing Jimmy: what kind of power move Janis: You want to fake break my heart Jimmy: Why would I wanna go off script? Jimmy: The plan is you break mine Janis: I know Janis: not likely to forget what we're doing here Jimmy: Don't forget to tell me how to make you feel better then Jimmy: it's obvs all I'm breathing for Janis: just as obvs I don't really care about any of the Drama™ Janis: as long as I've got you Jimmy: 💕 Janis: just as obvs that I wanna know where you are 'cos I'm bored and dunno where to go or what to do Jimmy: [sends her a pic of him at the park by his house like oh hey] Janis: 😍 Janis: obvious, if the dog isn't with you then I'm not really interested Jimmy: [a pic of Twix because of course] Janis: colour me convinced Janis: we should probably show the fans a united front anyway right Janis: not turned on each other soon as the law got involved, like Jimmy: 🖌☻ Jimmy: not racist if it's your happy colour, right? Janis: 😂 Janis: it's NOT a free pass but Janis: not mad about it, don't tell Jimmy: 😅😅 Janis: it was alright though Janis: the party Janis: aside from doing what we set out to achieve Jimmy: Yeah Jimmy: I might throw another one Jimmy: maybe it'll be my rep next place I end up Janis: 🦋 Jimmy: 🤡 probably getting closer Janis: no fit and mysterious but Janis: maybe the next place will have less cunts Jimmy: could be fit and murderous Jimmy: 🤡🔪🔪 Janis: 🙏 Janis: keep my 👀 on the news Jimmy: I'll give you a shoutout, baby Jimmy: write your name in blood or something Janis: Carve it in a victim so I know you remember it 💘 Janis: 🤤🤤 Jimmy: like I said, owt for you, Jules Janis: Thanks Janis: just tell me when you're gonna murder-suicide Janis: can't stay dying here forever Jimmy: I promise Janis: Good Janis: 💀💕 Jimmy: 👻💕 Janis: gonna have to get as far out of this place as I can before I go Janis: refuse to be stuck haunting this shithole for eternity Jimmy: #same Jimmy: though I dunno where's gonna be any different Janis: anywhere you don't know anyone and they don't know you Janis: I reckon Jimmy: that's here for me Jimmy: still don't 💕 it Janis: you'll have to go back home then? Janis: don't know how you're getting through customs as a wanted man but you'll make it happen Jimmy: fuck that Jimmy: if that's where my heart's meant to be you can actually 🔪 it out Janis: would LOVE to have your heart Janis: ultimate goals amirite Jimmy: you can take it then Janis: hot Janis: seeing as everywhere on earth is shit then, shall we just go straight to hell? Jimmy: You said you were going 😇☁ Janis: hold onto your 😎 'cos it's the same place Janis: truth is, just a fucking bummer if you're 😈 Jimmy: What? Janis: heaven and hell are the same place, some people reckon Janis: what could be more torturous than constant classical music and having to wear white for someone so fit and mysterious? Janis: you're gonna be 💔 baby Jimmy: How could you!? Jimmy: pissed on my afterlife Janis: So soz Janis: can always subscribe to reincarnation, might be a laugh Jimmy: 🦍 actually Jimmy: Dan would be so 😍😍 Janis: 😂 Janis: Ahh Dan Jimmy: OMG you can be a 😳🐷 #fated Janis: Shut up Janis: I'm not being breakfast Jimmy: Or a 🦇!!! Janis: That's more appealing Janis: I'd do that Janis: give fuckers rabies amongst other awful diseases Jimmy: such a romantic, you Janis: you just need to avoid hunters Janis: you can be chilling up trees, when you're not kidnapping ladies Jimmy: protect me when I'm 💤 babe Janis: Cute Janis: how am I gonna know it's you though? Jimmy: What kind of signal do you want? Jimmy: 🚬☁? Janis: where are you getting 😎 from and all Janis: I'll just have to bite a lot of gorilla necks 'til one of 'em is into it Jimmy: Duh the lasses I've kidnapped Jimmy: what else are they good for? Janis: I don't know if they really discussed that in king kong Janis: I hope not Jimmy: Date night 2 after we've dug up Lennon and Co Jimmy: I've never seen it Janis: Me either Janis: I assume it's not a classic about Beastiality but Janis: might get 🍀 Jimmy: 👍 Janis: can liveblog Dan Jimmy: 🥇💡 Jimmy: in his DMs til his lass leaves him Janis: love that rep for me Janis: homewrecking then peacing out Jimmy: you have got form Janis: what are friends for Janis: free to tap that now, you're welcome Jimmy: if I wanted to 🐸 lad wouldn't have stopped me Jimmy: but tah very much Janis: yeah? Jimmy: What's your question? Janis: never mind Janis: his resemblance to pond life is uncanny Jimmy: 🎯 Janis: 🙊 Janis: I hope they're not all single now Janis: they get even more demonic when there's no dick around to distract them even for a sec, like Jimmy: Do you want me to do a poll? They'll tell me Janis: They'd lie to bone you Janis: Only Asia is stupid enough to not, God bless Jimmy: lucky me Janis: you don't have medical level BO and you can form basic sentences Janis: makes you a 🤴 to them but not special, you feel me Janis: the bar is underground Jimmy: SUCH a sweet talker, you 😳 Janis: I know Janis: just feeling #inspired by you Jimmy: you're meant to inspire me, dickhead Jimmy: gotta do everything myself round here Janis: I'll distract you Janis: make you do the wrong thing Janis: just 😇 things Jimmy: I'l see the paint coming this time, Judith Jimmy: it's the sober light of day Janis: Unfortunately Janis: my shower looked like a Pollock painting this AM Janis: and I can feel just how unsober last night was Jimmy: where's the 📷 you rookie? Janis: 😰 Jimmy: this is where us being #starcrossed falls down Jimmy: useless without me Janis: I wasn't feeling very inspired Janis: after the bollocking from the police, then from my parents, all whilst I could barely stand or 👀 Jimmy: you're 💔 me, girl Janis: I didn't even know where you were Janis: so dramatic, lowkey a stampede when garda showed Jimmy: I get it, you had your 🤞 they'd already sent me back to the grim north Janis: of course Janis: fake prison boyf Jimmy: fuck every other ldr that's the one Janis: could send you the good treats and nudes and shit Janis: so much more manageable Jimmy: you'd never be that nice to me Janis: once 👏 you 👏 kill 👏 for 👏 me 👏 Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: not got nowt else on Janis: won't even make it awkward and ask you to kill my sister Janis: pick whoever you wanna, got no preference here Jimmy: 💀👑 first Jimmy: the rest of 'em would feel it Janis: they are the flea to her rat Janis: gotta have that host body Jimmy: and I'd only have to touch her and she'd crumble to dust, an easy 🏆 Janis: How she's fucked as many lads as she has is beyond me Jimmy: 🤢🤢🤢 shh Janis: I know, it's disturbing and baffling on so many levels Janis: she doesn't even look like a good ride, who went there first and found out Janis: so many questions Jimmy: where's that q&a #content Mia? Janis: 😏 Janis: we should do one, not about the mystery of her skeletal vag Jimmy: the fans will have loads about the party and all that bollocks Jimmy: she'll have to wait Janis: gotta let the people know we made up Jimmy: can do it when you get here Jimmy: my brother's about but so's the 🐕 they're alright Janis: can keep the #content family-friendly Janis: read between the lines, lads Jimmy: yeah the 🐕 is more distracting than you Janis: Charming Janis: 😂 Janis: if I didn't feel like microwaved shit Jimmy: if you were 🥇 like me that wouldn't matter Janis: I didn't 📷 you don't know what I look like, twat Jimmy: you said feel Jimmy: nowt's been mentioned about how either of us look Janis: you sent me a pic Jimmy: and? Jimmy: you can either fake it or you can't 'cause you're either 🥇 or nowt Janis: 'course I can fake it Janis: just not gonna go that hard in front of your brother, obviously Janis: not 🥉 behaviour, that, just weird Jimmy: convenient that Jimmy: your excuse is non-existent 'cause as I said he's only got 👀 for the 🐕 Jimmy: bit like you Janis: 🙄 fine Janis: you're feeling unloved Jimmy: steady on, we're not having a therapy session on the 'gram Janis: just 😍 Janis: I know Jimmy: Go on then Jimmy: what do you look like? Janis: I've really got to send you a picture so you can tell me I look like shit? Janis: How about we get there and I just listen to all those fake compliments, like Jimmy: If I say please, will you give in? Janis: depends Jimmy: on how I say it or on something else? Janis: if you limit yourself to a word after you've seen it as well Jimmy: I can do that Janis: [we all know you look good you always do bitch] Jimmy: unfair Jimmy: there's my word Janis: okay Janis: I can deal with that Janis: more ? than ! Jimmy: I dunno if I can deal with you setting me up Janis: huh? Jimmy: I just thought you were gonna look Jimmy: and then you're Janis: well you don't look bad either so Janis: it's fair Jimmy: bollocks is it Jimmy: you heard me, I said unfair Janis: well alright Janis: but you're just as unfair then Jimmy: Nah I weren't faking I were 🧟 when I'm actually a hot 🧛 Janis: you're a 👻 Janis: if you don't get to come back as the peak hottest version of yourself, that's some bullshit Jimmy: Duh I actually were 👴 when I ⚰ you just 👀 me as 😎🚬 Janis: Best of both worlds Jimmy: that'll be why I'm such an optimist Janis: ☀ Janis: exactly what comes to mind tbh Jimmy: obvs Janis: think I might've accidentally got on a ghost bus though Janis: it's taking longer than usual, maybe I've been on here forever? Janis: who can say Jimmy: I should've offered to pick you up in Ian's car Jimmy: what kind of fake boyfriend Janis: fake boyfriend who wants to clock up all those hours scrubbing graffiti Jimmy: only 'cause date night 3 I'm planning to take you to put it all back Jimmy: if you're inspiring enough, that is Janis: 😏 Janis: keep doubting #hatersaremymotivatorsbabe Jimmy: prove it then I can't Jimmy: job done ✔ Janis: you want another picture with a 📰🗞 to prove I'm not lying, yeah Jimmy: You, lie? Bollocks would you Janis: know, it's what you 💕 best about me Jimmy: Yeah Janis: how is the actual loml today then? Jimmy: What the fuck does that mean? Janis: BABE!!! Janis: love of my life, OMG Jimmy: have you just made that up? Janis: don't be ridiculous Janis: start # me as such like RN Jimmy: [cue extra socials flirting] Janis: shit just got real, lads Jimmy: must be why I miss you Jimmy: nowt to do with how shit this park is Janis: obviously not Janis: everything's just more shit when I ain't about Jimmy: You're not wrong, bighead Jimmy: Love being bollocked by paddy 👮 me Janis: 🤤 was pretty blatant to me but don't reckon they noticed Jimmy: lads in uniform are just so 🤤🤤🤤 Jimmy: if I were american I could 🤞 Ian would send me to military school but 💔 Janis: only get your institutionalized abuse if you're rich enough to afford it Janis: or Catholic Janis: and there's a surprising amount of hoops to jump through there Janis: gutting Jimmy: 💔 about that an' all Jimmy: tah for being a pair of heathens mum and dad Janis: you could get confirmed but they'll 👀 you for being a right weirdo from the off Janis: no one JOINS Catholicism by choice, you're born to it and run away 😱 Jimmy: brb gonna have my quick 😭 before you get here Janis: Baby Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Janis: [showing up finally and pretending you checking his face for 😭 and wiping 'em away like 'you can calm down now'] Jimmy: [pretending that you're checking her for bits of paint she missed behind her ears and everywhere but we know you just wanna touch her face and hair always] Janis: [the standard get off moment but loling and loving it secretly] Jimmy: [just leaning on her and sighing dramatically like ugh what a day but it's more to annoy her and be close to her than an actual genuine fml because god forbid you're real about it] Janis: ['that bad, yeah?' and doing an even bigger dramatic sigh '#relatable, mate' we're all loving life lollollol] Jimmy: [when you're competitive af so you wanna do an even bigger sigh yourself but you can't because you've got that secret rib injury and it hurts to breathe in thanks so much Ian #gotta reclaim it from April and Steve] Janis: [simply must] Jimmy: [thank god yet again that 😒 is his default cos you gotta get on the swing for the #aesthetic of this q&a and that means she's gotta sit on you, suffer for your art boy] Janis: [definitely gonna notice though at some point you can't stop me lol] Jimmy: [she always notices things it's a blessing and a curse] Janis: [thank your mother and grandmother for that girl; getting up like ? 'did you actually get stampeded or was it garda?'] Jimmy: ['I get that you're my biggest fan but the q&a weren't planned for you' because especially can't answer that question moreso than any other] Janis: [frowns but as per makes more of a thing out of it so it's fake] Jimmy: [squish her face like she does to you like cheer up] Janis: ['I won't turn it into a game, you can just tell me' 'cos we all remember truth or dare and how well that went] Jimmy: [shrugs 'being a northern 45 has it's downs on top of the massive upsides' when you're acting like you're 👴 and did it by falling or coughing too hard from 🚬 either of which could've happened but didn't] Janis: [🙄 'so you're alright then?'] Jimmy: ['it ain't part of the job for you to worry about me'] Janis: [shrugs like give a shit, boy 'not an answer also, not sneaky'] Jimmy: ['I know how to fake it, that's the only answer you need to hear'] Janis: [😒] Jimmy: [goes to check on Bobby and Twix like look how fine I am bye] Janis: [just chilling on the bench like you're so unphased but clearly not and he's clearly not fine otherwise he wouldn't have needed to fake it at all if it was nbd] Jimmy: [Twix jumping up him cos she's so full of love and he's just in casual agony like this is fine] Janis: [just shooting up like nope and coming over to distract Twix and throw her ball for her] Jimmy: [nhs direct be like DON'T smoke so of course that's what he's gonna do, when it's a habit and you don't think about how much it's gonna hurt but you've committed yourself to the 🚬 now] Janis: [just gesturing like lemme share that when you can see the wincing so at least he can only have half] Jimmy: [blatantly knows what she's doing and why but letting it happen cos ouch] Janis: [just doing overtime on that cig lmao] Jimmy: [just giving her a look like calm down as if you remotely have followed your own advice there] Janis: ['never know where the fans are hiding' looking 'round the park as if anyone is about 'cept families and tweens] Jimmy: ['You already looked hot, no need to go overboard'] Janis: ['what's your excuse then?'] Jimmy: ['For what?' you know perfectly well boyy] Janis: [a look that says as much 'you know'] Jimmy: [shakes his head like no I don't] Janis: ['you just want me to say it' tapping her head like not thick] Jimmy: ['so go on'] Janis: ['will you let me help you out if I do? I could walk the dog for you, at least'] Jimmy: [I've said before you can have her' gestures like take that dog away please and thank] Janis: [gestures at Bobby who's probably loving upon her like case in point] Jimmy: [shrugs like he'll get over it] Janis: ['she won't' 💔] Jimmy: [🎻 mime] Janis: [shakes head] Jimmy: [🙄] Janis: ['what did you dad say, like?'] Jimmy: ['I get it, you're trying to work out how up for committing crimes he is, you being underage and all, be a better shout if you faked it as yummy mummy though'] Janis: [tuts, 'runs in the family then'] Jimmy: [shakes his head really OTT because he likes his women 👵 'one of a kind, me'] Janis: [flexes muscle IRL] Jimmy: [😏] Janis: [going back to the swing] Jimmy: [pushing her, don't hurt yourself boy] Janis: [just enjoying this but thinking the same, peeping back at him occasionally] Jimmy: [just looking at her like I'm alright cos downplaying it 5ever] Janis: ['alright, you're well hard, we get it'] Jimmy: ['I'm just such a lad, nowt I can do about it, like'] Janis: ['gift and a curse, sure'] Jimmy: [holds the swing to keep it still for a sec 'you alright?' cos even though he's only pushing her gently gotta take the piss that she might 🤢 cos so hungover] Janis: [shakes her head, dramatically 'I'm off the rails, babe and you're meant to be ride or die and you're not telling me nothing' big pout] Jimmy: [comes round the front of the swing so he can look at her dramatically like he's so OTT sorry and forlorn 'making me get on my knees'd be a bit cruel, but name owt else, baby'] Janis: ['yeah, don't' look like you better not with this mystery injury, boy 'tell me what the gameplan is, how are we doing this, how are we getting back at her for this?'] Jimmy: [sits on the swing next to her and is thinking like a winnie because hasn't had chance to even consider any of that with everything else that's going on] Janis: [nods like exactly 'obviously we wanted to get in trouble but that doesn't mean she gets away with being a snitch'] Jimmy: [nods back cos yeah fuck her 'what does she care about?'] Janis: [shrugs 'fuck all but controlling her calories and her minions'] Jimmy: ['Alright, how can we take the control off her?'] Janis: ['if you've still got your job, start melting butter into her coffees' 😏 but also seriously thinking 'not hard to get that lot having an argument...you reckon you could get her chatting shit on them to you? that'd work, love their #receipts, like'] Jimmy: [gets his phone out like let's see and gestures for her to come here even though they are only a swing apart anyway #blatant] Janis: [leaning over his shoulder like 👀] Jimmy: [imagine having to try and chat to Mia, good lord] Janis: [and god knows how you're gonna have to play this to get decent fallout fuel from her, she's not an idiot] Jimmy: [yeah we should say it doesn't work because realistically wouldn't and he'd be so fuming that he hasn't been able to do it] Janis: ['back to the drawing board' and back to her swing to ponder] Jimmy: [😒 af and such a frustrated sigh which is then like OUCH but trying not to show that 'What about that co-worker of mine you were proper willing to throw under the bus and reckon is so well fit?' Hey Pete hey] Janis: [instincitvely reaching to squeeze his hand like hey but then Pete gets mentioned and you casually have to drop it like a hot potato without being that obvious lol 'Does Mia reckon he's well fit enough too?' like I've not been there 'she harass him and all, like?'] Jimmy: ['You said none of 'em have got high standards, what were it, no BO and basic grasp of how to put words together?' shrugs and looks at her like yeah well I'm not trying to say it's a good idea just an idea and another sigh that you can't help because you hate that she cares about Pete and you're reading too much into what that means] Janis: ['might work, might be a bit weird to put across to him though' 'cos can you imagine, like hello, us again... 'she was pretty pissed off when we gatecrashed her sleepover, it'd be worse than community service but we could do more of that? get them on side so she looks as mental as she is, like'] Jimmy: ['Alright' because that's a much better and easier idea you have to admit boy] Janis: ['yeah?' makes a face 'cos what did you just sign yourself up for, you cannot stand these girls lmao] Jimmy: ['I just said it were, must be' because this is all so casual and fine] Janis: ['Remember when we couldn't do a school project with the bitch? Imagine what they're like with no parameters or focus...' rolls eyes like Lord help us all 'definitely gonna be Oscar-winning fakery'] Jimmy: ['first place or nowt, baby, it's what Mia's owed, keep that in your head and you'll rise to the challenge, right piece of piss'] Janis: ['she's not my muse, fuck off' but kicking him in a bants manner with your swingy feet] Jimmy: [raises an eyebrow like oh isn't she and is 😏 'I'll keep that to myself, case it fucks with your master plan, don't worry'] Janis: [stops his swing abruptly by yanking on the chain like how dare you 'arsehole' 😒] Jimmy: [OTT like OW even though he's as fine as he's been this whole time] Janis: [when you then have to stop yourself now to check like oh no, so then you're even more 😒 'don't do that!'] Jimmy: [holds his hands up like soz but his 👀s genuinely are we know 'you know I didn't mean owt, be my mate again'] Janis: [standing inbetween his legs and tilting his chin up with your index finger so he's gotta look at you, as if you can work out what happened to him just by staring into his 👀 really hard] Jimmy: [some amazing eye contact as per and hitting her with a 'what?' even though you know cos you always know] Janis: ['we can be mates' like okay do you wanna be any closer though] Jimmy: ['good' likewise not moving like boy if you lean in right now I'm gonna kill you] Janis: [when there's nowhere to hide but you also cannot be the first to break, torn much] Jimmy: [at least we can have Twix or Bobby or both interrupt as he's just moving her hair out of her face/needlessly touching her yet again but before he does or says something we're not ready for because seriously about to here] Janis: [this is true, you aren't alone so you can't have a total bench moment here] Jimmy: [and you defs can't be revealing your secrets or feels rn thank you sir] Janis: [just turning so fast and acting like that never happened like oh hi Twix whilst he deals with Bobby] Jimmy: [do them big brother duties because he can't know you're hurt so you gotta fake it even more] Janis: [the joys] Jimmy: [he's gonna have a ball cleaning up and working ILY Ian you're a star] Janis: [make that punishment even more punishing, we see you] Jimmy: [I also like to imagine his phone going off throughout like you better not be with that girl, try and stop me bitch] Janis: [likewise 'cos you've done a bunk so they're like where are you, you have to go community service blah blah blah] Jimmy: [sharing a look but not a LOOK like] Janis: [actual solidarity, like y'all have no idea yet] Jimmy: [Taking a selfie with Twix and Bobby to send to him like fuck you Ian I'm doing your jobs and then letting Bobby take some cos mini me] Janis: [can't help but smiling 'cos that's cute] Jimmy: [takes her phone to take a coupley selfie so she doesn't feel left out and no other reason] Janis: ['won't tag you, like'[ Jimmy: ['tag Jamie'] Janis: [lols 'start framing him now, alright'] Jimmy: [a genuine smile] Janis: ['gonna look insane when everyone realizes you were never here the whole time but I'll cope'] Jimmy: ['gutted that Bruce Willis beat us to that plot twist' and such a pouty face] Janis: [squishing it forever like 😏] Jimmy: [leaning on her like I'M SO SAD THO] Janis: ['how can I cheer you up?'] Jimmy: [looking around like we could make a run for it and start a new life, as if he's capable of running rn or ever] Janis: ['my bags are packed, like'] Jimmy: [gestures like come on then but is looking at Bobby and Twix like] Janis: [looks at 'em as well and shrugs like yep 'easier leaving kids that are yours, init'] Jimmy: ['obvs' but now he's thinking about his mum so is actually sad not fake sad #awks] Janis: [is thinking about Drew and Edie so we're all having a lil moment here] Jimmy: [drags her over to the slide like go on, cos he'd die if he had a go so can't] Janis: [looking at Bobby then back at him like 'got your duties mixed up' but obvs has a go not gonna be a spoilsport] Jimmy: [then Bobby has a go and then Twix wants a go so you gotta go again girl] Janis: [like a babby] Jimmy: [you know he's getting all the adorable pics] Janis: [putting Twix on Bobby's lap at the top of the slide 'cos she's a pup so small] Jimmy: [he's falling in love again y'all] Janis: [put twix in a baby swing, that would be hilarious] Jimmy: [they gotta so he can be 😏 instead of 😍 because you're not kissing her rn boy I forbid it] Janis: [there's just no fake rn and we all know it] Jimmy: [he doesn't have it in him rn despite what he said] Janis: [mhmm, we won't be infiltrating the flat whites any time soon lmao] Jimmy: [gotta give that more than a hot sec but I do think at some point they should run into Asia and her sisters again for the lol because] Janis: [that would be good 'cos the mood that day lolllll] Jimmy: [they can get Bobby in on the fake niceness by bribing him or something lol] Janis: [#playdate!] Jimmy: [exactly dr phil] Janis: [god bless] Jimmy: [should probably get that kid and dog back so come and chill at his gaff again girl] Janis: [your parents will be delighted hahahaha suck it lads] Jimmy: [hooray for Ian being at work so you don't actually have to see him though] Janis: [that's a blessing] Jimmy: [make tea and food for everyone Jimothy we know that's your life] Janis: don't need to tell you how to make it Janis: handy Jimmy: You gonna give me a hand though? Jimmy: I get that there's no promise of an apron but you already look 🥇 we've covered that Janis: and run the risk of you thinking I'm not a spoilt brat? 🤔 Janis: I guess I could Janis: as you're full of compliments as currency today Jimmy: 🤞 they won't take your 🐴 away for mucking in like the common lads and lasses do, rich girl Janis: Better not Janis: love mucking out SO much Janis: [does come to help like bonjour] Jimmy: and it would muck up the stable boy fantasy before we've had a go at it 💔 Janis: [lols] Janis: that's exactly what your accent is Jimmy: [says something like a cliche stable boy would idk I'm not a horse girl] Janis: [reminds me of that classic book baby mama was in with game of thrones, though he's like gameskeeper or whatever the fuck anyway, loling harder and fake swooning] Jimmy: [when you pretend to catch her fainting, shameless touching even if it hurts you is your real ultimate kink boy] Janis: [the tea, saying something stereotypically posh in a stereotypically posh voice to break the tension that is just always there now] Jimmy: [does the posh little finger thing while drinking his and loling] Janis: [making nerd glasses with her fingers at him like 😏] Jimmy: ['Oi, be nice to me' making a face like I'm so injured excuse you] Janis: ['yeah, you gone shy or you gonna show me?' gestures like kit off boy] Jimmy: [is awks af obvs because we know it's bad but does take off his top because can't admit it #challengealwaysaccepted] Janis: [breathing in through her teeth like ouch and really gently touching them, like barely, speaking just as softly 'you should take an ice bath, it'd take down this swelling'] Jimmy: ['always trying to get me in the bath, you' but his voice is as soft as hers is 'but no pictures this time, a cute filter ain't gonna make this look goals'] Janis: ['Who could blame me' but said more as a throwaway comment just to keep this feeling normal and not like you're worried about him in any way nope, a look like obviously, who am I? before moving him, gently, out the way 'I'll finish up here, yeah'] Jimmy: [a shrug like I can do it because god forbid you actually take it easy lad] Janis: ['I can make-' (fill in the blank of whatever he's feeding Bobby, lol fish fingers or whatever we know the vibe here) 'if you don't wanna get in without me, wait, like'] Jimmy: ['Calm down, no dickhead's ready for how wife goals you are' and some fake 😍 'if you're that about trying to work your magic work out how we're gonna fill the tub with the one ice tray, what would your mate Jesus do?'] Janis: [less fake 🙄 back 'fine, I'll go buy a couple bags, prepare yourself' and chucking her shoes and whatnot back on like brb, least you don't live in the middle of nowhere] Jimmy: [irl 👍] Janis: won't let you 🥶 Jimmy: not how you wanna 💀💀💀? Jimmy: I get it, nowt massively 😎🚬 about that Janis: In terms of murder, pretty good idea but nah Janis: I've done 'em before so I'm not 🙀 Jimmy: knew you had loads of bodies in your freezer Jimmy: bit rude to make me think our 💀💀💀 pact were the first Jimmy: bit ruder that you never went through with your end all the other times Janis: just waiting to meet the one, babes Janis: 🤷 can't be killing myself for every lad that comes through Jimmy: proper heartbreaker you Jimmy: knew that an' all Janis: You won't get chance to tweet that Janis: s'fine Janis: 🙊🙉🙈 Jimmy: didn't break none of my fingers Janis: you're really gonna do it whilst I'm out running errands? Janis: ungrateful Jimmy: stop begging, I'll be a good boy Jimmy: for a bit Janis: It's you with the kink for being told what to do, apparently Janis: stop complaining Jimmy: don't sound like me that Jimmy: ray of fucking ☀ or nowt Janis: wrong chat then Janis: my bad Jimmy: sort it out, girl Janis: be more memorable, boy Jimmy: 💀💀💀 you too quick if I were Janis: exactly Janis: letdown no. ??? Jimmy: piss off Janis: Calm down Janis: can't be letdown by something that ain't real Janis: only have myself to blame then and not about that Jimmy: 👌 Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: ugh Jimmy: It's a hard life, Jasmine Jimmy: crack on, we don't have all day Janis: excuse me Janis: as long as you do it within the first three days, it'll still work Janis: and you're on chef duties so you shut up and concentrate Jimmy: I can't concentrate if you're gonna chat to me like that Jimmy: 😍🤤🤤😍 Janis: blame the burning on me then Janis: we all know you're just 🥉 Jimmy: Oi, I'll be a top wife Jimmy: know how to take a punch and everything Janis: Shh Janis: busy Jimmy: 💔 Janis: Meant to be helping, so let me Jimmy: why you trying to make me 😭 then? that won't help Jimmy: bloody hurt if owt Janis: Obviously not Janis: you know I'm not good at words, it's not a surprise Jimmy: duh it's the only thing we've got in common Janis: is it cheering you to make me try and fail then? Janis: 'cos have at it but you will end up 😭 by the end of t Jimmy: I just Jimmy: wanna chat to someone who ain't 6 Jimmy: or a 🐕 Janis: 2/2 Janis: take that victory Jimmy: 🏆 Jimmy: there you go Janis: I will fill it with ice Jimmy: and a drink of your choice Jimmy: I 👀 you, pisshead Janis: just prepping myself for having to 👀 you in the tub again Jimmy: I can get in by myself, I were 👴 but 👻 me is in his prime, remember Jimmy: near as much an athlete as you at this rate Jimmy: 💪🥇 Janis: let's not get carried away Jimmy: spoilsport Jimmy: might wanna carry you about Janis: when you're recovered Jimmy: takes weeks 🤞 I'll be long gone Janis: about as reliable as 🙏 Janis: take from that whatever you want, heathen Jimmy: Tah Jimmy: or I'll just get another girlfriend who ain't as heavy as you Janis: fuck off Janis: I'm not heavy Jimmy: depends Janis: on how weak you are? yeah Jimmy: on who we're comparing you to Jimmy: but you can piss off, I'm not weak, I'm injured Janis: Know you're used to puppies and 6 year olds, obvs Jimmy: you're not the first lass I've lugged about, soz to melt your ❄ babe Janis: 💔 Janis: I'm not anorexic or otherwise as easily deluded, I know I'm skinny Jimmy: never said you weren't Jimmy: have said before that you're a 🦒 Janis: thanks Jimmy: 👍 Janis: need anything else whilst I'm here Jimmy: You're my nurse, you tell me Janis: get you some drugs Janis: don't take 'em all at once 💀💀💀 Jimmy: What if I promise to split 'em right down the middle? Janis: I'm not dying for you today Jimmy: Baby please Janis: Nah Janis: find some tiny girlfriend who'll need half the tabs Jimmy: been there, done that Janis: plenty more midgets either side of the sea Jimmy: I don't have time to go 🎣 but tah for that Janis: Busy busy Jimmy: hardworking kink ain't nowt but a curse 🎻 Janis: don't need to tell me Janis: I'm rich Janis: the less you see your missus and fam the better 🤤 Jimmy: wouldn't dream of telling you nowt of the sort, not very #goals that Janis: so needy 😏 Jimmy: shut up Jimmy: so mean today you Janis: just today? Jimmy: not thick enough to start digging myself down into that big of an hole Jimmy: and obvs too weak any road so Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: more like it Janis: though implying I was gonna get pissy about it was a dick move that did not go unnoticed Jimmy: I said what I said Jimmy: there's nowt you don't get pissy about when that's what you wanna do Janis: Maybe you're just really fucking annoying Janis: that's more than a distinct possibility Jimmy: only maybe? Jimmy: 💕 Janis: So optimistic too Janis: 🤢 Jimmy: you need to get back on it, pisshead, that'll sort you out Janis: You like me better when I'm drunk Janis: spread that around Janis: though frankly, lil rapey is their type Jimmy: I don't like you however much you drink, not a paddy Janis: Try drinking some more yourself Janis: looking for common sense at the bottom of a bottle ain't a noble pursuit but you know Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: [a selfie of him posing with Ian's stash like oh hey] Janis: and you were gonna let me buy more Janis: who's the shit host now Jimmy: I never said you should buy owt Jimmy: you went off on your own #mission Janis: you'll be grateful later Jimmy: yeah 'cause that's how you like me, I know Janis: Don't you start #kinkassuming thank you Jimmy: no need to assume it, I've 🔓 it Jimmy: got the 🎟 Janis: 🤔 Janis: Must've been wasted Janis: as per Jimmy: Or I've got the wrong girlfriend Jimmy: might do Janis: It happens Janis: what's my name again Jimmy: what kind of fish do you wanna be? that'd help me out Jimmy: I've voted already Janis: 🦈 Jimmy: #fated Janis: if you said 🐬 I'd delete and block you Jimmy: I can't, that's Asia's Jimmy: nowt I can do when she's just SO SMART Janis: can't wait 'til some screaming kid covers her blowhole and suffocates her Jimmy: 😂 Janis: shame you ain't a starfish Janis: cut your legs off see if they grow back Jimmy: What am I then? Janis: one of those lurky bastards at the bottom of the ocean Janis: just been sitting there for 10000000s of years Jimmy: that's the most romantic thing you've ever said to me Jimmy: brb need to dry my eyes Janis: I know Janis: 💦💦 Jimmy: that what's taking you so long? Janis: yeah Janis: am I not allowed any privacy? Jimmy: You've heard 💀👑's stance on that Janis: you invited her over already? Janis: keen Jimmy: you wish, Jennifer Jimmy: can't have her around in my weakened state Janis: fuck off and stop being a baby Jimmy: you fuck off Janis: come get your stuff then Jimmy: you're alright Janis: it'll melt out here Jimmy: I get that I'm such a ☀ but outside ain't competing that hard Janis: Don't be awkward Jimmy: gotta teach the 🐕 fetch some time Janis: for fuck's sake Jimmy: What? Janis: I've got to go put it in your bath myself, have I Jimmy: You haven't gotta do nowt Janis: are you coming to get it? Jimmy: Am I on a ⏲? Janis: would you like me to work out how long it takes to melt a bag of ice Janis: like I said, awkward Jimmy: 🤓 Janis: I'm going to smack you upside the head with it in a second Jimmy: [comes to get it like go on then] Janis: [obviously will not lol, just shoving it at him like there you go] Jimmy: [takes it and walks off leaving her with Twix who has come like hey girl] Janis: [tryna get her in the house 'cos you were tryna leave on the low but Twix says no] Jimmy: [puts some ice in whatever bottle he's stolen off Ian and offers it to her like] Janis: ['only 'cos it'll get watered down now otherwise'] Jimmy: ['duh, that's the trick, then he dunno I've nicked it'] Janis: [🙄 @ Ian 'Amateur, I would know'] Jimmy: ['you ain't thick and northern' said over his shoulder as he's going upstairs to get in his ice bath with the stolen booze casually] Janis: [just downstairs like what am I meant to do now excuse me but definitely not going to ask] Janis: try not to go into shock or get hypothermia please Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: how long have I gotta sit here like a dickhead? Janis: do 5 minutes, if you can hack it Janis: no longer than 10 Jimmy: say when Janis: Get in and then I'll come in and supervise Janis: I'm not gonna accidentally kill you Jimmy: don't get none of this #drama with a bag of peas Jimmy: but alright Janis: it'll be more effective Janis: trust me Jimmy: if you've gotta say it, I probably shouldn't Jimmy: well suspicious Janis: it's not gonna be nice but it'll stop the damage getting worse and kickstart the healing Jimmy: 🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶 Janis: yeah, that's why you're getting in before I come up Janis: I'll listen for the scream, like Jimmy: did you 👂 or do you want me to get out and back in? Janis: Okay Janis: so tough, I get it Janis: [comes up and puts her hand to his forehead to check his temp] Jimmy: [imagine his little face please just like fuck me this is #fun] Janis: [puts a timer on her phone and is looking for the biggest, softest towel for when he gets out] Jimmy: [when you're the most caring ever on the low] Janis: ['I'm sorry' and taking the drink from him] Jimmy: [a look like ? because not gonna try and talk atm] Janis: [gestures like for all of it, I don't know but then doesn't wanna be that bitch so sucks it up and actually says why 'I didn't mean to call you a baby'] Jimmy: [puts a finger to his lips like shut up it's fine] Janis: [shrugs an alright and sits down on the side of the bath] Jimmy: [splashes but so the water just comes up and doesn't actually touch her because not that rude and also he's too cold to do a really big splash movement] Janis: [reaching in, whey but not, to get his feet out 'cos apparently your toes will be most sensitive so they don't need to be under, neither do his hands, just rubbing some life back into them with said towel like there we go] Jimmy: [saying a sincere thanks with his 👀 but then having to look away because who ever looks after him #emotions] Janis: ['I'll make you a cuppa when you get out'] Jimmy: you just want one, I 👀 you Janis: [takes another swig from the bottle like yes, blatantly 😏] Jimmy: 😏 Janis: then you can get in bed for a bit Janis: can't get straight in a hot shower, though you wanna Jimmy: how many of these have you done? Janis: enough Janis: plus I do sports science and all that shit so Jimmy: take your 🏆 Janis: will when those bruises fade, like Janis: not jealous or nothing but it is a bit rude Jimmy: don't be, nobody does 'em like you, baby Janis: might have to tweet it Janis: don't want a repeat Jimmy: [cue flirty af tweets to distract her because we can't tell her what happened] Janis: [with that we can probably get you out, to your great relief] Jimmy: [help him like the 👴 he is, girl] Janis: [get him wrapped up in that towel and in his room asap] Jimmy: [you have to snuggle him it's basically the law] Janis: [would literally be rude not to, least you can do it and be rubbing his arms like just warming you up nothing else going on nope] Jimmy: [the amount of things I have to stop him from saying or doing rn, boy no] Janis: ['do you still own a hoodie? you need to wrap up warm'] Jimmy: [a lil lol but goes to get his warmest one cos wouldn't have had that out in april so she hasn't stolen it] Janis: [control your 😍 at his cute you've got a job to do 'do you want your tea now?'] Jimmy: [when you shake your head before you can stop yourself or do your trick of not answering a q because you just don't want her to go] Janis: [just patting the bed like get back in then] Jimmy: [does] Janis: [when you have to snuggle really hard for warmth also single bed moment again] Jimmy: [god bless, what makes it even better is knowing how fuming Ian would be but it's literally your fault sir, you've done this] Janis: [you did this bitch] Jimmy: [thanks for bringing them closer together hoe] Janis: [nice try, universe] Jimmy: ['Am I gonna die if I fall asleep?' from within the snuggle] Janis: [tiniest lol 'only if you also feel a sudden urge to take your clothes off too' accidentally saucy like 😳] Jimmy: ['well now you've told me not to, I obvs do' playing it like you're such a rebel but we know why you wanna] Janis: ['then I'd have to keep you awake, it's your choice'] Jimmy: [such a LOOK] Janis: [closing his eyes like no looking 'cos literally can't handle it] Jimmy: [opening them again because 1. he's that dickhead but more importantly 2. he can give her a look like even if I fall asleep don't leave] Janis: ['you can go to sleep' in response 'but-' and not finishing that sentence] Jimmy: ['what?' because I have to every single time] Janis: [non-committal noises like idk doesn't matter forget it etc] Jimmy: ['go on' because can't and won't drop anything unless he wants to] Janis: [shrugs without smacking him in the face hopefully 'cos you are that close rn 'you don't have to'] Jimmy: [nods like alright like it's so casual but not breathing because it isn't even remotely casual bye] Janis: ['We could-' stopping to correct yourself to make it sound more fake as if we're even remotely believing that now '-I could make you feel even better, if you want'] Jimmy: ['I get it, you reckon you're a better nurse than me, eh?' throwback to that school trip moment and how hot it was 'crack on then, but nowt'll top that ice bath' such sarcasm, such wit] Janis: [smiles 'not that that's much to brag about, yeah' rolls her eyes and sighs like oh, if I must, as if she didn't suggest it, TOTALLY unprompted 'still my idea, that, so your turn for a good one again, when you're all healed, of course' doing the poor baby pout at him whilst sitting herself up and maneuvering VERY carefully so she's sat on top of him, facing away so he's looking at the back of her 'obviously, that shit about not poking bruises is true, but if we sort the rest of your muscles out, you'll feel less fucked in general' and starting a full-body-but-his-abdomen-area massage with his calves/feet and working her way up 'cos lord knows the boy is tense and she already has a decent idea of what she's doing here] Jimmy: [when that feels so good literally immediately that you have to take the piss because you can't cope 'what the fuck else are they teaching you in sports science, girl?' I can only imagine the kind of teacher they'd have for that so I'm loling] Janis: ['gutted you didn't take it now, yeah?' shaking her head like 😏 and moving up to the thighs] Jimmy: ['more inspiring than art by the looks of it, like, not that that's much to brag about either'] Janis: ['your stuff was alright' like casually bringing up that night like how much do we remember, we'll never know] Jimmy: [thank god she can't see him blushing rn 'you're a decent canvas' bringing up the paint fight because yolo and downplaying the rest of his art because thanks Ian for making him think he's not good at anything] Janis: [likewise but you are gonna have to turn 'round now 'cos you've run out of body lmao 'you too' then and now, obvs] Jimmy: [we all just dying here] Janis: [take a sec to compose yourself before turning 'cos now you're gonna be onto hands and that's like the most intimate somehow] Jimmy: [it seriously is though] Janis: [think it's 'cos you have to sit and face each other and hold hands in a sensual manner, at least he is laying down though so he could avoid the eye contact if he chose to] Jimmy: [I REFUSE to allow you to make eye contact during this sir] Janis: [awkward when it'll be shoulders after and you're gonna be so up in his face like hello, stay strong lads] Jimmy: [oh lord I'll just be screaming DON'T YOU DARE KISS the whole time] Janis: [hohaha this is just mean] Jimmy: [she'll have her work cut out though because nobody's carried this much tension in their body since teenage Tess Vickers] Janis: [since me honey] Jimmy: [the tea] Janis: [least you can really concentrate on doing a good job 'cos yeah wants to kiss him so bad[ Jimmy: [there's no denying what a good job she is doing though 🥇 legit] Janis: [fuck you Ian] Jimmy: [forever the mood] Janis: [though will be leaving before you get back, don't need you fucking up all this hard work tah] Jimmy: [bye felicia] Janis: [though not going anywhere really you'll have to deal] Jimmy: [we should say one of the flat whites are doing something so they can start their plan] Janis: [yeah, maybe Grace is forcing Mia or one of the others to have a party 'cos obvs she doesn't want everyone at Cali gaff really] Jimmy: [and she'd be hoping it'd stop everyone talking about Janis and their party but it sadly won't babe] Janis: [when y'all can't hang and we all know it] Jimmy: [I vote it's 💀#2 cos mad at her for bathgate tbh] Janis: [and she's probably got the most impressive house in a basic rich way so it's a plus to getting people to show] Jimmy: [agreed] Janis: [along with Mia obvs but we know the vibe, what a joy this will be lol] Jimmy: [I feel like Mia would never have parties at her house because such a daddy's girl and that's why you have minions] Jimmy: [at least you can kiss when you get there cos DYING to] Janis: [exactly, not gonna trash your own house, like, plus bet her mum is a cringe] Jimmy: [I just picture Regina's mum in mean girls basically lol] Janis: [tryna cry about your cheating mans with your daughter and her friends, no one needs that do they Mia, at least Ali would never lmao] Jimmy: [Ali's only cringe cos of how hot everyone thinks she is] Janis: [Mia probably does, secret gay] Jimmy: [oh girl] Janis: [will we ever know your damage truly lol] Jimmy: [we should probably figure it out one day so when we're famous everyone's not like wtf casually an Amber from Get Even situation on our hands] Janis: [true true, but sometimes people are in your life as a cunt and you don't consider why, esp as a teen so it's real that the characters don't know, even if we do] Jimmy: [yeah agreed the whole point is she knows everything about Grace and she knows barely anything about Mia because power moves] Janis: [keep them secrets] Jimmy: [it's that poor little rich girl stereotype and we all know it] Janis: [god bless, we have been distracted though, shall we skip as we are not letting anything happen now or?] Jimmy: [we can do because we very much know the vibe and like realistically they could show up to this function way early like even while the flat whites were all getting ready if they wanted because they have a plan to start] Janis: [oh yeah, like let us help you set up!!!!1 mega friendly so not suspect lol] Jimmy: [we all know they'd be ??? but still let them because Mia thinks she's so smart and in control] Janis: [this would be so painful and funny like try not to die holding in lols at them] Jimmy: [#bondingexperiences] Janis: [they should also be wearing more basic approved clothes, like not too wildly obvs but more girly for her, less alternative for him] Jimmy: [yasss and Grace can do her make up because she's actually good at it for all her other cringe so it would look good] Janis: [gotta get her on side too, keep your suspicions in the chat and not in front of your friends] Jimmy: [you're not touching her hair though, Jimmy would be devastated beyond belief] Janis: [we have to draw the line somewhere] Jimmy: [also Asia should have a new bf she's showing off for the lols] Janis: [what a delight, all the single flat whites crying in the club] Jimmy: [omg if he shows up early too and tries to make awkward #ladsladslads small talk with Jimothy the most unsocial egg in the world] Janis: [good idea ladeh] Janis: 💀💀💀 Jimmy: after I've done him Jimmy: can't be lasses first this once, soz Janis: getting on that well, are you? Jimmy: don't 😘 and tell, me Janis: Bullshit Janis: all you do 🗨❤📷📱 Jimmy: Alright, 'cause you untwisted my arm, I'll 🗨 Janis: You giving each other chinese burns? Janis: you wanted that peak homoerotic bullying moment Janis: so happy for you babes!!! 💖 Jimmy: I wish but I do reckon I proper LOVE him Jimmy: summer wedding 🤞 Janis: sending you colour-palettes as we speak OMG Janis: gonna have to let Asia down really gently or you'll all turn up at the altar by the sounds of 🙄🙄 Jimmy: You'll do it for me though, yeah? call it first duty as maid of honour Janis: take great pleasure when I have to stop playing dress up and nice, yeah Jimmy: let's swap, I'd be about playing dress up Janis: 😱😱😱 EWWW Janis: such a perv Jimmy: be more jealous that I'm prettier than you, babes Janis: you be more that you'd NEVER fit in this dress she's letting me borrow 😘 Jimmy: 😭😭😭😭 find me in the kitchen with your sister eating my feelings Janis: yeah you stay away from my sister creep Janis: focus on making Janis: Declan? Janis: Dave Janis: your bestie for the night/forever and ever 💖 Jimmy: fuck that, please come and rescue me Janis: alright Janis: as he's as bad as he looks Janis: just got to finish being tortured here without dropping that he was in my DMs a few ago, like Janis: when will she meet her 🤴 eh Jimmy: when she stops fucking 🐸? Jimmy: though he looks bit more like 🦎 Janis: More exotic? Janis: upgrade 🙌 Jimmy: more like he's shedding his skin about Jimmy: what did he 🗨 then? Janis: eurgh Janis: least you forgo'd the black for just one night Janis: asking me my skincare routine, obvs Janis: all adds up now Jimmy: 🙌 Jimmy: adds up that he's all over me, that's all any dickhead knows of your skincare routine Janis: You can't be taking credit for my skin now Janis: already feel like a barbie up here without you turning it Frankenstein Jimmy: Poor baby Jimmy: I can save you, just 💪 my way in, hang on Janis: Can hear the hysteria already Janis: if the octaves get any higher, only your dog gonna be able to understand 'em, like Jimmy: you're worth the risk to my one good ear 💕 Jimmy: [does bowl in and pull her away but not far because 👀🍿 like I need you to be with me soz] Janis: [Grace just like HER MAKEUP 'cos we know the lipstick is going everywhere] Jimmy: [soz not soz gals] Janis: [lowkey tryna make him leave 'cos this is girl's time 'cos that's always a thing like we all know you're just jelly and sad about your own lack of love ladies] Jimmy: [Mia like no boys and JJ just ignoring her so hard rn because only got 👀 for each other and it's not even fake] Janis: [cannot sacrifice him to this boy rn imagine the 'bants' good lord] Jimmy: [literally he could not be further from that #lad vibe he'd be so over it and tbh fuck you Mia we know you're the only one who actually cares if he stays] Janis: [tbh, just chilling on 💀#2 bed like you're abso besties rn] Jimmy: [god imagine her room, he'd feel so uncomfortable lowkey but we never showing it] Janis: [all white everything like no one spill anything christ] Jimmy: [I hope Grace drops some makeup like Sammi is always doing, my beloved clumsy babe] Janis: [you two try not to piss yourselves like] Jimmy: [when you have to turn it into a cough and that hurts you but at least it stops the lols] Janis: [asking if yous can smoke in here when you so clearly cannot lmao but an excuse for an actual break like brb, he clearly needs it] Jimmy: [run lads run] Janis: [a look when you're outside like Jesus fucking Christ before having the lols you've been holding back this whole time 'God, I actually NEED that cigarette, hurry up, like'] Jimmy: [100% shared and obvs he does hurry up and light hers because whipped and then his because likewise needed] Janis: [just discussing how pissed off Mia is already like lollollol] Jimmy: [and plotting how to piss her off more whilst getting the others on side] Janis: ['hope her birthday is soon, love to fuck that up' when you should know by rights but take no interest so do not lol] Jimmy: [checks her socials because there'd be a shit load of posts from last year and he'd be able to work out the date holds his phone up to her like] Janis: [🤔 then 😒 'nah fuck it, can't be around them that long' and 😏 on the exhale at him] Jimmy: ['And you can't do it without me' because still running with that narrative he'll be gone soon] Janis: ['I'd have time to audition replacements before then, come on'] Jimmy: [😒 that we're pretending is fake but isn't] Janis: [nudges him in the side with hers 'One and only, I remember'] Jimmy: [nudges her back like be careful with me even though she already is being] Janis: ['my delicate little baby' and cupping his cheeks instead of squashing 'em] Jimmy: [looks down at whatever outfit they've put her in 'dunno what I'm gonna call you'] Janis: ['but your list of J names is endless'] Jimmy: ['but those are for you, who the fuck is she?' gestures at the look like who would wear this but OTT because we know she looks good still really and we're not trying to slag her off] Janis: [looks down like yeah, ikr 'sadly their names don't all rhyme or begin with the same letter or something as appropriately cultish so' shrugs like who knows] Jimmy: [dramatic sigh/ exhale of smoke like what a let down] Janis: ['How many continents and virtues still up for grabs?'] Jimmy: [😏] Janis: [shakes head to self thinking on how many levels Grace is an inappropriate name for her 'Not Chastity, like, or Antarctica, both so not goals for the same reason'] Jimmy: ['Whatever the hottest country is, go with that one' when you're not even joking rn you just think she's that hot blatantly] Janis: [trying not to 😳 with limited success 'yeah, such a flex, could go with a vice for a name too but be a bit on the nose, I reckon'] Jimmy: 'Depends, probably don't choose gluttony or owt but' shrugs] Janis: ['Exactly, get sexier names or get out'] Jimmy: [looking over his shoulder like you can feel Mia lurking 'about time we got back in' even though that's the last thing either of them wants] Janis: [sighs not even a bit fake 'yeah' then doesn't move] Jimmy: [puts his arm around her waist like come on but doesn't move either] Janis: [puts hers around his neck 'but I just wanna be with you' and we're pretending that's fake but it's just tea] Jimmy: ['I won't leave you with 'em again' when you 100% mean that] Janis: ['Good' resting your head on his shoulder instead of moving] Jimmy: [stroking her hair nbd] Janis: [can't stay here forever lads, maybe people are actually starting to show up] Jimmy: [get back in lads and find you have a drink waiting because Mia is trying to be #fake nice too so draw the poison symbol on her arm with your fingertip and do an IRL 🤞 before downing it] Janis: [when you look for reactions with almost genuine concern she's such a snek then you down yours, cheersing at her from across the room] Jimmy: [kiss her for the romeo and juliet ref but also just cos you wanna] Janis: [we know the vibe, this could also be the party Mia bangs Pablo maybe? jussayin] Jimmy: [that's such a good idea actually because she's so mad that the squad are team jj and Asia's got a new bf and she's losing her control honey] Janis: [mhmm, that's what I thought, it's a fuck you in the bag, like] Jimmy: [I had the hilarious mental image of JJ doing whatever this era's equivalent of tiktok is with tall tammy like that's her thing™ cos Grace has youtube] Janis: [that's so funny lmao yes must] Jimmy: [hence Mia be fuming cos 💀#2 is the only one giving her the time of day rn] Janis: [truly the Lorraine of this situation] Jimmy: [and Grace is probably trying to get with someone Mia doesn't want her to because she's jealous of jj's love] Janis: [oh what a night] Jimmy: [such fun, but they should 'accidentally' fuck up the borrowed dress in some way by the end of this] Janis: [that's also an idea, plenty of ways that could happen, soz gal lol] Jimmy: [yeah they'll enjoy that and rich girl should have a heated indoor pool they can piss about with] Janis: [such a rich teen mood to jump in in your underwear, the other guests will, the flat whites just like nooooo] Jimmy: [Asia might but the rest of them would NEVER] Janis: [oh Asia, you fun loving gal] Jimmy: [get on that 🦎 bf in the pool like] Janis: [i'm loling, what other hijinks could happen] Jimmy: [I wish they could 'accidentally' push Mia in like oh soz we were playfighting and just happened to get in the way babes] Janis: [they should, 'cos then she'd also make them all go comfort her so it'd be like 1 point them but also 1 to her] Jimmy: [give jj a flat white break for a bit cos they'd all have to help her get ready all over again too] Janis: [exactly, oh how uncool of you, play it off girl, so extra] Jimmy: [if Jimmy chucked Janis in it'd be a different story, look listen and learn gal] Janis: [at least they didn't push Grace in, the actual meltdown of it all] Jimmy: [I could never, as much as she annoys me] Janis: [we all know Janis would but we're playing nice rn so no, hmm, they could commandeer her room and go through her shit lmao no shame, obvs pretending they're banging not just like 'scuse me nosy person coming through] Jimmy: [a nice throwback to school trip when they were meant to be punished but it was just fun] Janis: [exactly dr phil...bitch probably has a diary like be cliche about it] Jimmy: [take all the pics of that #goss in case you need it later, cos she'd know the most about Mia 💀 pact and all] Janis: [mhmm mhmm, you're obviously gonna find her binge stash but that's not news] Jimmy: [fatty boy gonna eat some of it though] Janis: [think Mia's helped herself lollll] Jimmy: [you're welcome for that little domestic ladies] Janis: [death pact drama, just sow all these seeds on the low] Jimmy: [just chucking her on the bed even though you're not meant to pick her up rn and tickling her/all that good messing about because you've GOTTA mess the bed up and no other reason] Janis: [we all know the show is getting put on as if people can see lowkey] Jimmy: [can't even blame them cos even if they shamelessly didn't want to, it's what they are so used to doing by now too] Janis: [we all know you do though and that ain't getting any easier lads] Jimmy: [tea] Janis: [like to think you're fresh out the pool now too 1. for max hotness 2. so her bed is soaked lol thanks] Jimmy: [100% approved] Janis: [just pondering what else can be done and said...Harry is probably here, 'cos of the Mia of it all, do we wanna do anything with that?] Jimmy: [she would 100% invite him so yeah we definitely should do something but what? hmmmm] Janis: [we could have Mia forcing a convo moment 'cos that bitch] Jimmy: [that's real because she so would] Janis: [then it's gonna be awkward between them 'cos he's gonna be mad and she'll wanna die] Jimmy: [cheers for making tomorrow's community service even more fun Mia] Janis: [just getting y'all out of that convo as fast as you can without giving Mia too much satisfaction with it, going to the garden to smoke after but being like 'I'll leave you to it'] Jimmy: [so awkward so moody] Janis: [always ending up hiding in a bathroom or spare room or some bullshit so you can have a moment] Jimmy: [at least it would be a massive house so she can] Janis: soz Jimmy: yeah I know Janis: everyone at this party is a cunt Janis: not surprising, I know Jimmy: hang on, gonna take ages for me to @ them all Janis: you gonna turn on me then Jimmy: why would I give her owt she wants? Janis: I'm not gonna dob you in to her, like Jimmy: you wanna have a scrap? Janis: Not with you Jimmy: leave it out then Janis: Alright Jimmy: 👍 Janis: take your own advice yeah Jimmy: meaning what? Janis: don't need to do a passive-aggressive 👍 just shh Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: that better? Janis: 👍👍👍👍 Janis: that much better Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: if you've got nothing nice to say, don't emoji at me, dickhead Jimmy: how about you tell me how you reckoned this were gonna go and I'll fake the proper 🗨 for you Janis: Like I said, you don't need to say anything Janis: fake or otherwise Janis: I was just saying what I had to Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: Okay, come find me when you wanna or whatever Jimmy: come find me when you need owt Janis: Fine Jimmy: ✔ Janis: If I could undo it, I would Janis: I know it makes this shit needlessly more difficult Jimmy: don't worry, this is my piss easy job Janis: easier than serving them lattes? Jimmy: make it more obvious that you've never had to Janis: At least you don't have to spend this long fully focused on them at CG though Janis: is what I mean Jimmy: I ain't focused on 'em now Janis: only for as long as you can make a 🚬 last Jimmy: nah, they don't matter that much, is what I mean Jimmy: it's just bollocks Janis: yeah Janis: but we're still doing it Janis: so it must matter a bit Jimmy: the reasons I'm doing this is nowt to do with any of them Janis: I know the main reason Janis: but we don't need to be here for that Jimmy: the main reason were not making my life any harder, her dobbing us in has done that, so yeah, we do Janis: Yeah, it's payback Janis: so it is about her Janis: her getting some of her bullshit back won't unfuck what she's already done but might make us feel better about it Jimmy: it's about us, you just said it Jimmy: feeling better Janis: Alright Janis: it doesn't matter either way to me how you slice it Jimmy: if it doesn't matter, why are we 🗨 about it? Janis: I was asking how you found it easy Jimmy: Alright Janis: You didn't exactly answer but yeah Jimmy: you dunno 'cause you dunno nowt about me or what my life's like, there's your answer Janis: It's not that deep Janis: asking how partying with them could be easier than serving them isn't a crazy question Janis: if you don't want to answer, don't, it's fine Jimmy: like I said, if you'd ever done it you'd get that it's a bollocks question Janis: Well you know I haven't Jimmy: she ain't gonna treat me how she does there, she can't unless I were here to hand round the drinks Janis: she's a cunt Janis: I'm aware Jimmy: 🏆 Janis: she's incapable of not treating people like shit, no matter who you are to her Janis: she has them, her best friends, running 'round after her as much as she does you whenever she comes in Janis: that's what she is, I know that Jimmy: me an' all Janis: yeah, so no need to talk to me like I'm thick just 'cos I've never had to clean up after her Janis: known and been around the bitch much longer, I've had my fair share, don't worry Jimmy: I don't wanna talk about her, that's what I'm trying to get into your head Janis: We're at her party, we're doing this whole thing Janis: what else could we talk about Jimmy: nowt obvs Janis: right Jimmy: 🔈 Janis: 👍 loud and clear Jimmy: [come back in and get more drinks boy you can't 🚬 forever] Janis: [just hiding forever though] Jimmy: ? Janis: yes? Jimmy: I've got you a drink, where do you want it? Janis: Eh Janis: I'll come down Jimmy: leave all that enthusiasm up there, can't even handle how #extra that response were, my dear Janis: I'll be suitably gracious by the time I arrive, don't worry Jimmy: weren't about to lose any sleep Janis: sure, what's another fight at another party Janis: not counterintuitive at all Jimmy: I'm not gonna fight with you Jimmy: just come here Janis: Maybe I don't feel like not fighting Jimmy: I'm a dickhead, don't mean you've gotta be an' all Janis: you definitely don't get to own being a dickhead, tah very much Jimmy: I don't wanna fight with you, alright? Janis: [comes to get her drink in response] Jimmy: [hugs her in response because she knows that's a thing he genuinely does lately not a fake thing like kissing her or something would be] Janis: [hugs back of course] Jimmy: [gets her to dance with him because what better way to pretend that there's nobody else here just you two] Janis: ['mates?' when you'd have to whisper that in his ear and it's low-key the only reason you did it 'cos any excuse to be unreasonably close] Jimmy: [whispers back 'best mates' but it's said in such a flirty manner obvs] Janis: [😏 but 😍 on the low 'cos we can pretend they fake thanks party people, holds her pinky out like promise] Jimmy: [does promise of course and then just holding her hand doing some of the massage stuff from earlier on it so once again she knows it's real but it looks just like they being saucy and fake] Janis: ['I wish we were still in your bed' when you can just say it 'cos it sounds right but y'all don't even know] Jimmy: ['we can go back to mine whenever you're ready' because they have community service together in the AM anyway so it's believable that she would just stay because such a goals couple who are together 24 7 clearly] Janis: ['good' but your face on the low is like yeah right/I wish 'cos Ian hates you] Jimmy: [when you read her mind so you cup that adorable little face in your hands and you're like 'my dad's nowt to worry about' because you genuinely don't give a fuck but luckily it also sounds very romeo and juliet fuck our parents vibes so #goals] Janis: ['I don't care if you don't, but are you sure?' when you can just say what you mean and have it fit, this is so useful lmao] Jimmy: ['I just wanna be with you' because she literally said it earlier and meant it so I have to because #same] Janis: [soz gonna make out with you] Jimmy: [not soz because clearly so into it] Janis: [blurred lines remix] Jimmy: [mhmmm] Janis: [so glad your plan backfired, Mia] Jimmy: [I hope you and Harry both see this cos fuck y'all] Janis: [she's always watching lmao] Jimmy: [enjoy their love bitch] Janis: [the levels of get a room they are at rn has never been higher] Jimmy: [god bless, love that for you especially because as far as everyone knows you literally did get a room earlier but you were just snooping lol] Janis: [just like they insatiable, which is true but not yet lol Jimmy: [you know nobody's ever been that into any of the flat whites, sucks to suck ladies] Janis: [when parties make you sad 'cos people being 😍] Jimmy: [the realest] Janis: [you two gonna have to tone it down 'fore you alienate them totally rn] Jimmy: [I'm trying to think what else they could do to annoy Mia/win the rest over within this party setting] Janis: [hmm maybe some kind of game moment or similar vibe where they can just be really cute about each other with their answers so the rest are like awh idk] Jimmy: [yeah drinking games are always real and they could do some cute teamwork too but also pick a flat white to team up with maybe so Mia will be fuming] Janis: [basically be up for a laugh 'cos Mia is NEVER and discourages it like no, that's lame etc] Jimmy: [exactly they'd be living their best lives, except 💀#2] Jimmy: [they gonna win you over too though girl cos nothing will annoy Mia more] Janis: [gotta get her nearest and dearest, like but gonna have to play the long game with that one] Jimmy: [when he's gonna end up having fun even though he hates everyone but Janis highkey] Janis: [the mood] Jimmy: [you deserve it boy after all that bullshit with Ian and the like] Janis: [community service in the AM baby] Jimmy: [at least they're not drunk af this time so they won't have to do it really hungover] Janis: [and it's gonna lowkey be fun we know anyway even if they don't yet] Jimmy: [you're gonna love it lads] Janis: [again, they have not thought your punishment through here and I'm about it] Jimmy: [how real is that though, oh adults] Janis: [at least Grace can tell Cali she's at his and they will be suitably fuming, get the parental hate rolling on both sides] Jimmy: [yeah we gotta] Janis: [like you don't know safer than what her actual plan was, 'scuse you] Jimmy: [Yeah Grace would be happy that she's there like thank god] Janis: [least you're not dead vibes] Jimmy: [or gone forever who knows where] Janis: [like tomorrow night is anyone's guess lads] Jimmy: [just stay with him always girl we know you wanna] Janis: [obvs but how long can you fake stay with someone hmm] Jimmy: [how long can you guys share a bed and nothing happens more like lol] Janis: [exactly dr phil, can't exactly be on his sofa can you] Jimmy: [I was thinking for tonight we could cockblock them by saying Bobby and Twix are in his bed asleep when they get back cos miss him #adorable so he wakes up when they come in and Jimmy has to go sleep with him in his room because we all know if they share a bed rn we won't be able to stop something real happening even if that's only a kiss or something] Janis: [I accept that, we can always do online messages then too so] Jimmy: [soz about the levels of frustration though lads] Janis: [we're just cockblocking 'til it's silly we all know it] Jimmy: [you've brought this on yourselves, just say how you really feel or do something undeniable when you're alone] Janis: [my boo say say it you cowards] Jimmy: [I do, I'm mad which makes no sense because fake dating is my fave and that ends it junie you silly goose] Janis: [we don't/won't push it 'til it makes no sense lol, but we can move it to a place of 'we can just be fuck buddies and carry on the fake' as if that's not even more of a headfuck guys] Jimmy: [god bless, that'll be fun and games so we simply must make that more of a thing than we did before] Janis: ['cos it's a way to admit some shit, like yeah, obvs this chemistry is real but still be like, we don't LIKE each other though] Jimmy: [a very them thing to do we all know it] Janis: [see 'let's be mates' baby steps] Jimmy: [we are sneaky gals and I'm about it] Janis: [still, not tonight sweaties] Jimmy: [we could maybe have something happen at the rave/festival whichever that we've still gotta do though] Janis: [that is a good idea, and maybe they invite the flat whites to that so they have their tent near each other whatever and it's another thing Mia would HATE] Jimmy: [yaaaaas] Janis: [hohaha its a plan, you probably can leave this party now though and skip] Jimmy: [going hard because your tent is next to theirs but then it's less and less about that we 👀 you, but yeah for now you can go lads and have your night not end at all like how you want because we're rude like that] Janis: [shameless, but Imma just say night 'cos see above lol] Janis: 🛏💤 Jimmy: chuck the 🐕 out if it does your head in Janis: she's alright Janis: passed out ages ago Jimmy: bit of a lightweight Janis: just my magic touch, like Jimmy: give her a massage an' all? Jimmy: know how to make a lad feel special you 💔 Janis: 💔 Janis: nah, if you'd settle for head pats my life would be easier but here we are Jimmy: I've never said I wouldn't Jimmy: be proper goals any road, they don't want a lad, they want a pet Jimmy: 🐸 or 🦎 Janis: 😏 Janis: well I'm with PETA on this one Janis: rather it was a lad than some totally defenseless creature, like Jimmy: must be pissed if you're admitting how 💪🏆 I am Janis: Hardly Janis: but every lad they ever get their hands on at least gets a few punches in themselves Janis: if the 😭💔 is anything to go by, even if you halved it to account for dramatics Jimmy: must be 💕 then Janis: Clearly Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: what were it you said, if you ain't got nowt nice to say, don't emoji at me, dickhead Janis: you wouldn't complain if it were a 💘 Jimmy: so go on Janis: 🖤😎🥇 Jimmy: 😏 Janis: try harder Janis: those are your favourites, like Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Jimmy: Alright? Janis: I'll take it Jimmy: [sends her a pic of Bobby asleep all over him in this tiny bed like an adorable sos] Janis: Aww Janis: crazy night here too, obvs Jimmy: if you had socks on you'd wake up without 'em Jimmy: hardened criminal that 🐕 Janis: Sounds like a dubious cover for some #kinkunlocked behaviour tbh Janis: but I'll take your word for it Janis: even if she looks like an 😇 Jimmy: might be one of hers but I've 👀 and 🖐 your feet and you're alright, tah Janis: When you broke 'em, you mean Janis: hm Jimmy: bit rude Jimmy: it were your own fault Janis: You wanna go to bed on an argument then, alright Jimmy: you know I don't Janis: yeah Janis: feel a bit rude cussing you out when I know there's a kid like 😴 on your shoulder anyway Jimmy: you can always go through my shit if you're well mardy at me Jimmy: my diary's hidden proper Janis: 😏 Janis: wouldn't even be surprised if you had a diary Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: you know I can't read or write, Jenna Janis: picture book then Janis: even artier Jimmy: 🥔 prints Jimmy: get me in a northern gallery that Janis: don't be pissing about with 🥔 Janis: sacrilege Jimmy: coal then Janis: long as you keep it off your face Janis: know what you're like Jimmy: Oi Janis: I should be oing you Jimmy: we're playing nice, you agreed Janis: Don't you think I'm being nice? Jimmy: Don't make me come in there Janis: Or what Jimmy: I'll sort you out, girl Jimmy: bed time or nah Janis: yeah right Jimmy: Challenge accepted Jimmy: keep going, see if I don't Janis: You've never sorted me out before Janis: no reason to be 🙀 that tonight is any different Jimmy: [cue him going in for the flirtiest but quietest playfight they've EVER had because I have to] Janis: [what a moment bye] Jimmy: [the TENSION I cannot] Janis: [we dying boys] Jimmy: [like what are you gonna do now boy just leave like it never happened or are you gonna try and stay? I'd love to know] Janis: [lmao please tell] Jimmy: [can we let him or is that too dangerous oh the dilemma] Janis: you have slept with each other before like that but is either of you that sleepy rn hmm] Jimmy: [we know they're not tired we 👀 you] Janis: [mhmm, I'm like bitch don't you ask him to stay either] Jimmy: [I'll make him go back, we must be strong] Janis: [okay hehe] Jimmy: [unless something did happen and then it makes community service awkward oh ho] Janis: [that's an idea] Jimmy: [like if one of them freaks out somehow how they do and we've done before in other situations idk] Janis: [yeah, or is shamelessly ignoring lowkey tomorrow like that never happened, either one of them could, like] Jimmy: [yeah because y'all ain't even drunk so you can't use the don't remember excuse] Janis: [we all know you remember and there was no pretense of having a phone nearby or whatever] Jimmy: [the question is how far are we gonna let them go and who's taking the plunge] Janis: [hmm, we can save all the way for later, I think he should 'cos blatantly egging him like the whole time they're 'fighting' it's not subtext] Jimmy: [I agree with that and he's not gonna back down because the whole challenge and 'you've never sorted me out before' comment so he's clearly gotta in all the ways Harry has never] Janis: [Exactly, we know what she was saying there and so do they] Jimmy: [when he makes you feel amazing and then leaves like a sexy 👻 because the flimsy excuse of hearing someone and thinking your brother is awake again or something] Janis: [who's ignoring who tomorrow or are we both, what's the vibe of it] Jimmy: [I feel like he should ignore her because he did it so how real but how shady] Janis: [I vibe, then she can be mad and initiate the awkward convo/argument like 'scuse me] Jimmy: [yeah because she probably didn't get chance to do much to him because he was on a #mission with a point to prove so she's probably thinking it's a mmfd to be continued kind of situation like IOU boy and then he's so rude] Janis: [that's a plan, will post this one now though]

[punkscowardschampions]

Grace & Janis

Grace: OMG you and the new boy! 💘🙌 Grace: love that for you babes Janis: lol thanks Grace: 😂😂 k yeah you're busy Grace: I will need that goss tho Janis: dumb and dumber will make up their own to fill in the blanks, I know Grace: LOL Grace: obvs but like Janis: you want the actual truth to spread, yeah Janis: you're alright, soz you won't get that cred Grace: UM rude I want the truth to know Grace: You're MY sister, hello Janis: 👌👌 Janis: hey Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Grace: ugh just say he's boring whatever Grace: I know the feeling Janis: leave the games to your mates, and the jumping to the wrong conclusions, yeah, we ain't playing that shit Janis: why would I bother if he was, like every other cunt here Grace: Duh I'm only here cos of Leon Grace: so unbothered too Janis: 'course you are Grace: I unbae-d him hun, obvs am Janis: yeah, so you're here just for the fun Janis: cool Grace: I'm here to show him what he's missing so yeah Janis: 'cos you 'unbae-d' him Janis: defs the actions of someone very unbothered and not a girl who got dumped and is seeing how fast he gets a new bitch, and who Janis: count me as not it, yeah 👍 Grace: not even! I know he's seeing Kaya and like I said, idc Janis: well then, not showing him nothing then, he don't miss you Grace: OMG this is so yesterday Grace: here for your 😍 not my 🙄 Janis: are we? Janis: I'm here to pass PE Grace: not what the new boy's here for tho Janis: yeah, not in my class Grace: I know Grace: he takes art Janis: lol why do you know that Janis: you don't Grace: why DON'T you know that? Grace: 🔎👀 Janis: not out here doing a survey Grace: I hope not Grace: keep it sexy honey Janis: sexy Janis: you sound like a nan Janis: a weird one, at that Grace: 🤞 you don't look like one Grace: what ARE you even wearing rn OMG Janis: yeah, 'cos I'm the one that thinks a cardigan is stylish Janis: my pjs? Grace: 😱😱😱😱 Grace: YOU'RE JOKING Janis: it's not particularly funny but Janis: knee slap away Grace: I literally can't help you Grace: 🙏 bitch Janis: everyone's ready for bed, what are you chatting Janis: I wasn't getting dressed again Grace: not everyone's ready to bed a hot boy tho Grace: I can't even with you Janis: if we were gonna fuck he'd see even less so Janis: don't think he's any more bothered than I am Grace: That's SO not the point Janis: are you gonna tell me Janis: cba to guess, like Grace: we do not have time for a masterclass! Grace: 🙏 you're right babes Janis: considering I'm here, I clearly am Grace: unless he's literally inside you rn in which case EW don't chat to me Grace: you don't know that for sure Janis: why would you even say that Janis: you're twisted Grace: Oh please Grace: I'm a nan, UM okay Janis: yeah, and I'm not interested in the incest you're peddling, thanks Grace: why would YOU even say that Grace: so gross Janis: you brought it up Janis: you think you'd be better at gaslighting by now Janis: tell your boyfriends to up their game Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Grace: tell your boyfriend you don't always do 0 effort, he might be new enough to fall for it Janis: you get one that stays longer than the 3 minutes it takes him to pump and dump, I'll listen to your 'advice' Grace: you get one EVER & maybe I'll take it Janis: yeah, egg on my face for not letting every lad that wants to inside Janis: lmao 🥴🥴🥴 queen of romance as if you've ever had that either Grace: I've turned down so many lads THANK YOU Janis: 😂😂😂 Grace: 👌👌👌 👋 Janis: k yeah you're busy Janis: turning away all those elligible bacherlors will take all of two minutes of you staring at yourself delusional in the mirror, like Janis: nighttime routine! Grace: You're such a bitch Janis: Yeah, you too Grace: Literally where?? Janis: we do not have time to go through all those receipts! Janis: honey Grace: You don't Janis: 💔 Grace: sure Janis: Go talk to Holly and Jessica, they'll make you feel better Grace: I'm doing my night time routine, babes Grace: duh Janis: besties who cry together, no Janis: that's your whole schtick, they'll be inconsolable by now Grace: I'm not crying off a £35 mask Grace: you'll all have to get over it Janis: how effective it is on you, you may as well use it on them instead Janis: revenge acne, very cute Grace: I'm so sorry that my skin needs like a £100 one, okay? OMG Janis: yeah well, I appreciate you realise how tough it is on me Janis: tah babes Grace: leave me alone Janis: I have Janis: 💔 remember Grace: fine, go away Janis: find a spare room and make that feasible Grace: don't even bring him here Grace: I s2g Janis: it's alright, he don't fancy you Janis: the mask won't shatter the illusion, like Grace: Exactly, so just don't, okay? Janis: I'm not going to, Christ Grace: 👌 Janis: Really, Grace, what the fuck Grace: ???!! Janis: like I'm gonna fuck anyone when you're in the room Grace: like that's what I said or meant Janis: yeah, so as per, you can have your friends in whenever Janis: gotcha Grace: that's different Grace: my friends aren't boys Janis: wouldn't make a difference to you Grace: OMG I'm literally saying it does Janis: and it's bullshit Grace: sure Janis: you know it is Grace: no I don't Janis: you want an example of how much of a bitch you are, case in point Janis: my friends were never good enough, male or female Janis: yet we all have to put up with yours every weekend Grace: You don't have friends for me to judge Grace: if I was even bothered which I'm obvs not Janis: Convincing as it was first time 'round Grace: UGH Grace: I'm happy for you but I don't need to extend that to a welcome party in our room like Janis: Whatever Janis: later then Grace: Bye Grace: Are you back in for good? Janis: Probably Grace: I'll get the light then Janis: 👍 Janis: I would've found my way alright, like Grace: sure but I'm not breaking my neck thanks Janis: from the bottom bunk? Janis: impressive Grace: the amount I overpacked is Grace: cannot move Janis: note the 'over' there is negative, not positive Grace: oh great 💘😘 hasn't put you in a better mood Janis: you're the one here copping an attitude 'cos I won't enable your problem, but go off Grace: if you wanna invent problems for me to have, you go off hun Janis: the 'you've got enough' comes too easy Janis: make me work for it Grace: & you're never too busy, yeah? Grace: poor boy 💔 Janis: you see him here Janis: specifically not, on your orders 'cos you out here looking like shrek Grace: he just left you, give him at least one sec of thought like Grace: so rude Janis: capable of having more than one at a time, sweetheart Janis: god bless Grace: LOL Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: no use, won't be able to spot your brain like that Grace: Thanks for the advice Grace: I was gonna say it for actually doing what I asked but you're right back to being a bitch again so 🤷 Janis: 'cos the definition is famously 'do everything I say or you're a cunt' Janis: you'll never be Mia, babes Janis: not got that kinda clout over them, let alone me Grace: OMG stop Janis: 'cos you know it's true Janis: no bigger bitch than your bestie Grace: You can take the title if you want it babes Janis: your bestie? Janis: no tah Grace: the biggest bitch Janis: same difference Janis: keep up Grace: You don't even know her Janis: we ALL know her 🙄 Grace: She can be a lot, UM HELLO, so can I Janis: 😱 NO Janis: fucking hell Janis: what a revelation, call the press Grace: The rumor mill is focused elsewhere rn Grace: 💔 obvs Janis: I know Janis: get a nude 'leaked' like your fat friend Janis: worked for all of ten seconds Grace: if you want me to kms sure Janis: 🤷 Grace: won't call the press on that revelation hun Janis: I wouldn't Janis: bit embarrassing Janis: not all publicity is good publicity Grace: you'd know I guess Janis: 😂 you're actually jealous Janis: that's funny Grace: of what? Grace: you losing your virginity finally Janis: there's nothing sadder than sounding like a rode hard put away wet slag full of regret at 15, for starters Janis: we get it, you've never had an orgasm or a 'man' that weren't a piece of shit, get a vibrator and put down the cigs, Shirley Janis: and secondly, not got time for the list when you know perfectly well what Grace: & there's nothing more tragically desperate than getting with that boy cos he doesn't know anything about you Grace: he'll find out Janis: and everyone knows everything about you Janis: rather, they could, if they were interested to ever look Janis: it's gotta be hard being 10th most interesting, even Junior had some closeted appeal Janis: 💔 Grace: okay Jan, you're so mysterious Grace: good luck working that angle for another 15 years babes Janis: good luck being a bleeding heart for that long Janis: interest in the sob story ran dry long before your eyes have ever Janis: how infuriating, I don't want it, actively try to get rid of it, and I still get more than you Janis: gutted for you, truly Grace: sure Janis: I know, sympathy ain't what you want Janis: but it's all that's on offer for you so chow down, babe Grace: 😂😂 you think you know me like that Janis: everyone does, remember Janis: you think you get it both ways Janis: take that whilst you can 'cos it's coming up for 5 years and truly, the dead sister bit is dead Janis: Kiera O' Malley's dad died so it's #overparty sweetie Grace: You're twisted Janis: no shit Janis: get them to get you a therapist, all the 👂👀 you can buy Grace: Why would I go when I can send you in with all the issues you've invented for me Grace: hmu with the highlights hun Janis: Christ, don't pretend you don't know Janis: you want that angle Janis: to be this pathetic AND unaware of it Janis: self-awareness is your only shot at some dignity at this point Grace: I know all my angles thanks Janis: it's super funny when you pretend to be a full-time bimbo Janis: not tired at all Grace: IKR 🙌 Janis: kinda sad Janis: do you ACTUALLY think they'd rather be friend with the OTT 'happy' bitch, genuinely? Like you HAVE to know all your 'friends' are waiting for is the inevitable meltdown when you fall apart so they can see what earrings they can scavenge from your carcass Janis: livetweeting how #problematic you are and finally saying how little they fucked with you, anyways, but all the best in life, nothing but love, girl 😘 Grace: Oh honey, I'm 100% not that bitch EVER Grace: can't you spy the dynamic from your moral high ground? awks Janis: oh honey, just 'cos they're keeping the runt around to fatten up, does not mean you're not next on the spit Janis: sadder than I thought Janis: you'll actually be sad when it happens, fuck me Grace: flattered to be called out as that thin tbh Janis: ha, eating disorder gang got jokes Janis: burns calories Janis: not AS much as crying though so crack on Grace: Mhm so does hooking up, so you'll have a way into the squad now hooray Janis: not the way y'all do it, pillow princess Grace: you've never seen the way I do it Grace: my tapes are yet to be leaked Janis: as if they're filming Janis: darling if you were any good, you'd get callbacks, not pied off before a camping trip Janis: but god bless with that #metoo spirit Grace: everyone's ALWAYS filming, check your socials Grace: & I dumped him so 👏 for bringing that fake news back Janis: nah, you didn't Janis: you should get dumpee tatted right under your doormat forehead tat Janis: let 'em know just how much they can get away with Janis: so hot Grace: were you there lurking or are you finally over that now? Janis: lol i'm the one with the obsessive personality Janis: now you're just being silly Janis: check your socials Janis: you've not copped that totally 'anon' post with all the tea only a REAL bestie SHOULD know? 🤔 Grace: I came here so obvs I am ridiculous yeah Janis: no shit Janis: you should be home, smacking her in the face Janis: but you've chased after a lad who was 3 fingers deep in another silly bitch at brekkie Janis: that's fun for you, yeah? Grace: 🥊 is more of a look you like to wear Grace: but sure Janis: sort it out Janis: it's not bad enough you let anyone with a dick in this town make a mug of you, you have to let her as well Grace: I didn't come here for Leon Grace: he wishes Janis: This is why I can't do this with you Janis: he doesn't and you did Janis: crying otherwise helps your case none Janis: actually do something about it if you don't like the narrative Grace: That is literally what I'm doing Grace: if I stayed home it would look like I was crying over him Janis: well right now you just look like you're stalking him Janis: maybe if you tried with the activities, like Grace: ugh that's easy for you to say Grace: it'd look really good when I tried & still can't do it Grace: Get a clue OMG Janis: I ain't saying become Bear Grylls Janis: just have a laugh, with the other girls on this trip that ain't too scared to look anything less than their knock-off idea of 'perfect' Grace: as if Grace: the other girls on this trip don't wanna be my besties Grace: 🔪 are out Janis: 🙄 Janis: yeah and that helps the lads fuck all of you over Janis: just build a fucking raft together, don't need to braid each other's pubes and make friendship bracelets on the last day Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: no bitch fucks with me, I ain't getting pushed into the lake Grace: I'm not you Grace: 💔 obvs Janis: yeah, use some of that scathing attitude on the people who need to hear it Janis: why can you be a total bitch to me but you'll 😢 and hold back on every other cunt who actually wants to see you fail Grace: you're my sister Janis: don't remind us, yeah Grace: never Grace: it's bad enough we're sharing a room rn what am I 9? Janis: not my fault your bestie can't fart without breaking a bone Janis: if I could share with anyone else, obvs 💔 Grace: it's not my fault either Grace: anything she does Janis: wasn't about to say you were the instigator of the starvation army Grace: Duh Grace: not looking like this I'm not Janis: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: her dedication to ending up in the ground with all her #thinspiration goals is not aspirational Grace: & neither is this Janis: soz, you wanna truffle shuffle louder, I didn't catch the scope of your GINORMOUS wobbling jelly rolls from here Janis: shut up Grace: you've literally said worse to me Janis: and? Grace: don't tell me to shut up Grace: so rude Janis: you know I ain't here to listen to you chat utter shite Grace: I just said, it isn't & so have you before Janis: That's your problem Janis: getting your esteem from people who hate you Janis: yourself included, naturally Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Grace: if that were true Leon wouldn't be my ex Grace: go tell him to shut up if you're so concerned Janis: if it weren't true, you wouldn't have fucked with him in the first place Janis: or include him on the list, he's a prime twat Grace: We get new boys literally never & you 💍 him when we did Janis: don't be dramatic Janis: you go for the wrong ones to begin with Janis: correction, they go for you and you don't tell 'em to fuck off Grace: Oh okay yeah I'll date the 🤓 Janis: Probably better than getting piped n pied by the fuckboys Janis: seriously, how many have you lot got in common, it's grim Grace: not if I don't understand half the words they say Grace: I've got you to make me feel stupid Grace: & the others, 10th most interesting, right? 🏆 Janis: you want to be stupid Janis: or at least be seen as, pretend you are like that makes all this shit okay somehow Janis: who am I to deny you that, bimbo? Grace: 😂😂 you don't know what I want Janis: neither do you, chuckles Janis: it's a shit show Grace: Exactly Grace: but I know what I don't want & it's 🤓 thanks Janis: like there's two choices Janis: you don't live in an american teen drama, much as you make-believe it Grace: like I'm spoilt for any Janis: stop being so judgemental Janis: not gonna do you any favours Janis: if I need to tell you that, when I go out of my way to do it, you've got a problem Grace: neither is running some kind of virgin training school Grace: but sure Janis: 🙄🙄🙄 alright Grace Janis: continue to cry about how shit your friends are, how shit the boys who fuck you are, whilst only letting the worst people into your life Grace: OMG I'm just saying everyone already thinks I'm gonna take my clothes off every time I upload Grace: I don't need predatory status against 🤓 Janis: because I'm saying fuck every nerd in school without prejudice Janis: I'm saying there's plenty of alright lads who would like you that you won't give the time of day right now Grace: bitch where?? Grace: an alright lad likes YOU not me Janis: so all boys are shit Janis: like all friends bitch behind each other's backs Janis: YOU'RE settling because you don't reckon you could do any better, that no one decent would fuck with you, admit that 'cos blaming the world ain't gonna change the world you're surrounding yourself with Grace: SO DRAMATIC Grace: I know I can't, I've been sat down here saying it literally the length of this convo Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Grace: I've said it, you have, Leon has, the boy before him has Janis: Nah, you won't try Janis: you're scared everyone's right Janis: get some fucking ambition and get out of this town or you're gonna end up like the rest of them Janis: knocked up by some prick from 'round here and that's all you've got Grace: cos this town is the problem Grace: as if Janis: death tolls high for a reason, baby Janis: Carly, Eds, they were trying to escape too fucking late and they only way they could Janis: at least they got out, everyone sensible has Janis: Ma, Rio, they're fucking stuck for life Grace: they were trying to escape people, things, whatever Grace: she was no happier anywhere else we lived Janis: we were babies, you don't remember that Janis: that's the bullshit they've fed you 'cos it's all that keeps them from doing themselves in with the guilt Grace: okay Janis: anyway, semantics, if you want it that way, girl Janis: it's this family we all want out of Grace: but we can't Janis: yeah, we can Janis: where's Billie, where's Junior, Nancy Janis: like I said, anyone with sense jumped ship there and then Grace: that's away not out, nobody gets to be out Janis: they're not coming back Janis: they're as out as she is Grace: no they're not Janis: get a clue and check out 'til we can actually go too Grace: check their socials then check hers Grace: she's the only one who died Janis: worse than dead Janis: least you can all pretend she didn't wanna go, yeah Janis: she was coming back Janis: they're actively choosing to stay the fuck away, every day, and they're right Grace: She was, Janis Grace: cope with that Janis: she's dead anyway, cope with that Janis: all the family love in the world ain't saved none of us, her included Grace: It's not me hiding behind her Janis: it's not hiding when you don't want to be found Janis: and you can babble on about what an open book you are but you're the biggest fake of them all Janis: at least da flaked all those times he couldn't hack it, at least ma's a cheat who's fucked over everyone she 'loves', at least Rio is a whore who's fucking her own family to boot Janis: they talk a big game on the happy family, but their actions say otherwise Janis: you're just, here Janis: hoping we all get it back, like it was ever good Grace: #fakeittilyoumakeit babes Grace: I'm 15 where do you want me to go? In Billie's footsteps cos LOL that modelling career is a no Janis: you miss the part where I said check out 'til it's over Janis: let it go, Grace, let everyone go, because they're gone Grace: I'm still waiting for you to tell me how Janis: It ain't hard Janis: they might not be as forthcoming giving you reasons to hate them as I am Janis: but it's not taxing to find 'em Janis: bubbling under the surface, barely Grace: I hate you but we're still having this chat Janis: it's all perfunctory Grace: like I know what that means Janis: Truer words Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 okay Janis: Night Grace: 👋 Janis: [Assault death drop] Janis: 💀 yet? Grace: about to kms Janis: 🙌 Janis: you really took our little talk to heart Grace: literally nothing to do with you but 👌 Janis: sure it is Janis: you think you're getting solo interest rn? Janis: I'll tell 'em it's gone from a sickbed to a deathbed, see if they go for it Grace: UM I don't want it thanks Grace: I can die of shame away from the 👀🍿 Janis: Bollocks 😂 Janis: it's the most fun you've had all trip Grace: You said do activities! This is so your fault Janis: See, you took multiple chats to heart, awh Janis: you're not even hurt, just your ego Grace: OMG I am not in the mood Grace: go away Janis: damn, lanky and large not fluff your pillow just right Janis: can't get the staff, babe Grace: 😱😱😱 Grace: you know what's wrong you were LITERALLY there Janis: yeah, you eat shit, the boy laughed Janis: an amusing scene but not one you need to hide in the sickbay for Grace: STOP Janis: you're so self-involved, take a look around, baby, plenty people making mugs of themselves, it's half the point Janis: Kerri-Ann gave herself the biggest wedgie on the aerial course Janis: probably picking that out still today Grace: okay that was funny Grace: but just Janis: I get it, it's not funny when it's you, yeah Janis: better to laugh it off though than be a primadonna or that'll be your camp moniker by the end of this and your ladies in waiting will have to kms too Grace: I can't now Janis: well, I'll tell you when it's safe to come out Janis: when the fat lad takes a tumble or whatever else is the laugh of the minute Grace: I picked him to be my partner so this wouldn't happen! 😠😠😠 Grace: boys are so unreliable like Janis: they're not famed for their use of words, give you that Janis: it was an accident, like Janis: no wink wink nudge nudge let's let the bitch fall was happening Janis: the teachers aren't that useless, quite Grace: thank god Grace: I'd have to kill him before myself & my wrist hurts so like no Janis: you started slicing already Janis: hit up the samaritans this ain't my scene Grace: 🙄🙄 Janis: come on, that was funny too Grace: no Janis: spoilsport Grace: You still won, get over it Janis: Obviously Janis: who else would Grace: not Leon that's for sure Grace: that girl makes me look athletic Janis: 😂 Grace: she's not even the one he's telling people he dumped me for Grace: but I'm a slag, okay Janis: ladies, ladies Janis: you're BOTH slags Grace: LOL Grace: I'm gonna get dad to pick me up Grace: give it my best 💜 por favor, venha me resgatar, pai 💜 Janis: don't be dumb Janis: you'll look like more of a baby than you already do Grace: &? Janis: you're supposed dying of shame in there Janis: it's counterproductive Janis: get up and get over it, minimal damage Grace: like you care Janis: Obviously not Janis: but you apparently do, so much Janis: so think on Grace: to what? I shouldn't even be here anyway Janis: you want the lasting impression to be the girl that showed up, threw a paddy and then ran away Grace: focus on the fact you'll have your own room babes Janis: exactly Janis: why you tryna do me any favours Grace: not about you hun Grace: embrace the concept Grace: & new boy's 😍😍💘😘 Janis: yet I win again Janis: alright Grace: it's not me v you Grace: it was me v Leon & there was a glimmer of hope in one quite fit lad but 💔 obvs Grace: not gonna get with him if he can't handle a blindfold, am I Janis: that was your master plan Janis: jesus Grace: Duh Janis: Ooh Leon, lemme prove what a slag I ain't and a total catch and fling myself at a random boy Janis: showed him Janis: lucky it didn't work if that was your idea of a point to you Grace: No, let me show you how much I don't care that you think I'm a slag & neither does anyone else Grace: that boy included Janis: he definitely cares Janis: banking on it Janis: honestly, get a clue Grace: whatever it's not about to happen Janis: good Janis: 'cos that's the stupidest thing you've said all holiday and that's saying something Grace: such a bitch Janis: such a stupid slag Janis: we've all got our cross to bear Grace: Yeah Janis: 🙄 fucking hell Janis: anyway, they've stopped talking about you and da has a job so don't be a dick Grace: like that'd stop him or you're concerned about anything he does Janis: like you are Janis: least I don't pretend to care so he'll drive me places Grace: 🙄 let it go, he's not answering Janis: probably on the phone to his actual favourite Janis: 💔 bummer Grace: Mhmm Janis: wouldn't say you're 10th on that one but definitely not 🥇 Grace: you're 10th, I'm 9th Janis: Nah, idiot Janis: the white kid was 10th, it's pretty obvious Janis: Junior's 9th 'cos he literally hated him so much from birth he had to bounce Janis: Billie is 2nd 'cos came back for her, Pablo's 3rd, Iggy's 4th, rest you lot can duke it out for 5,6,7 and I'll take 8th Grace: not now she's dead, she isn't 🙏✞💕 Grace: & Junior has to be higher up now so he can repent honey Janis: kid yourself he weren't relieved Janis: ain't no one but black grandma believe in that shit Janis: and that's just as a handy-dandy rule book for him #sparetherodspoilthechild #obviously Grace: he's kidding himself, doesn't matter what I think Janis: nah Janis: he's happy being cucked, clearly Janis: plus competition got lower once Carly pegged it Grace: 🤷 Janis: n'awh Grace: worry about yourself and getting Ollie out of the way now I'm stuck here Janis: why would I Grace: cos you're 😍💍💘 Janis: so? Janis: you can do one, idc where you are Grace: UM NO Grace: you can Janis: nah Janis: you've got no use for a bed rn Janis: piss off to your friend's room Grace: being a bitch isn't gonna help you here babes Janis: then stay Janis: see how much that helps you Grace: so twisted Janis: you're the one refusing to leave, apparently Janis: been warned Janis: 🤷 Grace: EW Janis: don't worry, maybe your fwightened lil virgin theory will finally pay off for you and you can feel better about your own sexual history at my expense Janis: 🤞 for you babes Grace: OMG stop being gross Grace: I don't wanna see what's all over my feed thank you Grace: I definitely don't need IRL access Janis: 😂 Janis: OK nan 👌👌 Janis: you've always been the definition of can dish it out but not take it Janis: poor boy(s) 💔 Grace: I've never fucked a boy in front of you Janis: there's a lot you ain't done but I've heard plenty about Janis: difference between us is I ain't all talk Janis: you'll have to fuck off then, won't you Grace: cos everything you've heard is the truth Grace: oh please Janis: I mean from YOUR mouth Janis: it's empowerment and ownership when you do it, and Rio can get it all out for everyone at the right price Janis: but nah, not me Janis: you wish I was half the virgin you reckon, then you'd have ONE thing over me, yeah? get a grip Grace: I repeat, I'm not doing it in front of your face, bitch Janis: I repeat, you try to tell EVERYONE how good you are in the sack 'cos you know there are 3 hotter sisters to choose from Grace: No I don't! Janis: it's pathetic, stop it Grace: You're being extra & if you need ME to tell you, stop it Janis: What's your edge then? Janis: go on Grace: why is everything a competition with you OMG Janis: because it is, always has been Janis: come on, this is your thing, what's your target demo, babe, who are YOU catering to? Janis: you wanna be a 2nd rate Ri forever, yeah, cool Grace: SHUT UP Janis: Exactly Grace: You want me to hate you, I do Grace: Let it go Janis: not how hate works Janis: you really got to thinking Edie might care 'cos she let up, gave it some time and space Janis: no chance Janis: you ain't gonna forget Grace: I'm not doing this with you rn Janis: nah, you ain't Janis: put your face on Grace: it's always on hun Janis: You look a state Janis: and he's coming over Janis: get over it Grace: He's not coming to see me Janis: Who is Janis: Never stopped you before Grace: freak out about him all you want Grace: directing it at me tho Grace: really Janis: why would I Janis: I know who I am, who I'm catering to Janis: I'm the effortless one Grace: sure Jan Janis: maybe you'll think of a better selling point one day Grace: maybe you'll stop being so closed off one day Janis: don't count on it, babe Janis: especially not tonight, yeah Grace: 🤞 he isn't Grace: easy to fake being a person for a few days, yeah? Janis: said as if you'd know Janis: doormat's easier to maintain, right Grace: 😂😂😂 Janis: Yep Janis: thought so Grace: You think about me too much babes Grace: it's getting lowkey weird Janis: these convos might set your world alight but remember that big word I taught you Janis: yeah, that Grace: 👌 Janis: 👋 Grace: 🙌 Janis: forgetting you got no place to be? Grace: you've got somewhere, go Janis: I've told you, I'm not leaving Janis: very injured, like Grace: 💔 Grace: tragic tbh Janis: his thoughts exactly Grace: awks if they are Janis: only for you Grace: you too that he's figured you out that quick sweetie Janis: and you're sat there wasting your whole life? Janis: we knew you weren't the brightest but bless Grace: you're really seizing the day babes, how could I compete Janis: you couldn't Janis: maybe you'll win the genetic lottery in your next life Janis: be the best dungbeetle ever Grace: how #motivational Grace: love that Janis: it's too late to be optimistic about this life Janis: but I got faith in you there Grace: ILYSM obvs Janis: ew don't even pretend Janis: put me off, obvs Grace: obvs not Janis: 😂 you're precious Janis: if I knew all it'd take to get you to shut up was telling you about my exploits, I'd have started ages ago Grace: If you had any ages ago, sure Janis: oh babe Janis: really still going with that bit Janis: can't let it go, can you Grace: can't tell the truth, can you Janis: what would you know about that Janis: #fakeittilyoumakeit right babes? Grace: I mean, obvs don't tell him unless he's into that #duh Grace: some boys get lowkey weirder than you're being about it so Janis: again, what would you know Janis: no one's buying that for you Janis: can't have it both ways 💔 Janis: or either, if you're you 💔💔 Grace: I was once thank you Grace: that's how it works Janis: NO! 😱😱 Janis: you mean you didn't come out the womb so sexually empowered, colour me #shook Janis: it's so natural, you wear it so well Grace: IKR Janis: Oh God 😂 Grace: Ew don't give me a preview of your sex chat Janis: yeah, you would imitate bad porn Janis: you know boys mute that shit, yeah? Janis: as per, too fucking loud, Gracie Grace: 😂😂😂 Janis: no one fucks with that fake shit Grace: thanks so much for your expert advice Janis: welcome, welcome Grace: obvs not Janis: all very obvs with you, obvs Grace: LOL Grace: fun chat babes Janis: as always Grace: g2g relearn all my bedroom techniques so like Janis: bit gross to do that with your pals Janis: can't say I'm surprised Janis: another porn-like trope Grace: literally so gross Janis: I said it first, darling Grace: 👏👏 Janis: have fun, ladies Grace: duh Janis: 🤢🤢🤢 Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: soz, they ain't my type, like Janis: shouldn't come as a surprise Grace: It doesn't Janis: 👍 Grace: 👌

[punkscowardschampions]

Bea & Fraze

Bea: they're getting chinese for tea if you want in Fraze: Alright cheers Bea: your dad says where are you Bea: probably wants you to pick it up Fraze: Tell him he don't need to Fraze: & to stop being so fucking embarrassing like Bea: meant the food idiot 😂 Bea: like he cba to go out Bea: your mums sleeping Fraze: Sounds more legit Fraze: I'll get it then, won't I Bea: 👍 Bea: girls said make sure you get fortune cookies 🙄 Fraze: Fuck's sake Bea: mhmm Bea: who's out then Fraze: Everyone Fraze: Where are you? Bea: got that big project for history Fraze: Yeah me too Fraze: So? Bea: so Bea: I wanna get a good grade don't I 😜 Fraze: You will anyway Fraze: Could do it the night before & still would, like Bea: True Fraze: I'm just gonna tell Miss to stop flirting with me if she keeps asking about homework 😉 Fraze: Unless you wanna do mine too Bea: ha fuck off do I Bea: get you points with your new girlfriend at least, even if you fail Fraze: Didn't reckon you could handle two, stresshead that you are Fraze: Worth a shot though Fraze: The kid I pay only does Maths & English Bea: Reverse psychology is a bit first school Bea: if you put half this effort into your work, Frazier 😉 Fraze: Just 'cause my ma's asleep don't mean you gotta take over Fraze: & it worked on Tanisha so I can do worse than a low effort, high reward strategy, can't I Bea: I ain't either of the women in your life, if you ain't noticed Fraze: You don't do enough shouting for one or hair flipping for the other Bea: gives your friend with the Bieber hair a run for his money Fraze: 😂 Fraze: Come out Fraze: You can tell him Fraze: Tell her to go easy on the gloss an' all before we get stuck together Bea: I'm good Bea: let your lack of tact work in your favour for once Fraze: Bullshit would you rather do homework than have a drink with me Fraze: Come on Bea: don't fancy sharing with you Bea: gloss, who knows what else, like Fraze: Then don't Fraze: You can have your own Bea: Generous Bea: where'd you get it this time Fraze: Better for you if you don't know Bea: 🙄 Bea: Whatever Fraze: Help me get rid & it's done Fraze: No evidence Bea: shouldn't you be telling your friends to piss off now, get some alone time Bea: not invite more people Fraze: Not fruity enough for her to handle, is it Bea: ha Bea: how shaming Fraze: You coming or not Bea: You're meant to be coming back with food, remember Bea: no point Fraze: After then Bea: who else is there Bea: i don't want to watch you suck face tah Fraze: She's gone in Fraze: You know what her ma's like Bea: not really Bea: not that interested, like Bea: but fine Fraze: Long story short, she don't like me Fraze: One of them McKenna's ain't I Bea: 💔 Fraze: Already smacked her brother for saying it Bea: Only got yourself to blame then Fraze: Fuck off Fraze: I finished it, didn't start it Bea: Can't act surprised Bea: what did you think would happen Fraze: I controlled what would happen Fraze: End of Bea: One way to put it Fraze: What are you being such a bitch for? Bea: What you being such a pussy for? Fraze: I ain't Bea: Sound like one Fraze: Fuck you Fraze: I don't Bea: Yeah you do Bea: what you wanna get invited 'round for tea for so bad Fraze: 'Course not Fraze: Get what I want off her already Bea: Shut up bitching to me that her mammy don't like you then if you don't care Bea: 'cos I deffo don't Fraze: What you need an A so bad you can't talk to me now Fraze: That's proper desperate Bea: talk about something more interesting than this dry project and maybe I'd wanna Fraze: I invited you to something more interesting Bea: I said I'd come out Fraze: They said I'm banned from the Chinese but I'm still going in Fraze: Don't mean shit Bea: When did that happen Fraze: Last week Bea: You're ridiculous Fraze: They are Fraze: Barely kicked off Bea: Yeah okay Bea: such a conspiracy that Fraze: Nah, don't wind me up & I won't react, simple as Bea: I don't know the last time someone told you but world don't revolve around you Fraze: Who then? My life I'm living, babe Bea: The rest of us ain't living ours to keep you happy Fraze: More fool you Fraze: You'd have it easier that way Bea: 🙄 Fraze: Da's gonna have to come get this shit they won't give it me Fraze: Pass it on Bea: fuck sake Bea: alright Bea: [time] Bea: Joe's on his way Fraze: & I got one foot in the door near enough Fraze: You coming for a 🚬 or can you only accept one invite a night now, like Bea: If you're offering one of yours then obviously Bea: be down now Fraze: Don't keep me waiting, Princess Bea: Or what, dickhead Fraze: There'll be fuck all left for you Bea: 😂 Bea: Idiot Bea: [comes out and takes it] Fraze: [control your heart eyes boy for the love of god, keep it 😏] Bea: [when you're trying to pretend you ain't arsed but you're obvs lowkey 😒 'cos can't control that] Fraze: [pulls on her sleeve to get her attention cos throwback to when they were kids and therefore forever something he'd do even as an adult] Bea: [has to be like what 'cos cannot ignore a throwback] Fraze: [asking her what's wrong via a look] Bea: ['hungry' when we know she weren't having no chinese] Fraze: [shakes his head but not gonna push that too hard because we do know, gives her a lemon sherbet from his pocket cos on a throwback roll goodbye] Bea: [smiles a bit and takes it, 'where's the drink you promised, then?] Fraze: ['you wanna go get started now then, yeah?' A loooooooook stop flirting boy but don't] Bea: [returning looks forever, 'ain't your girlfriend' meaning not a weak-ass bitch but also we know] Fraze: [intense eye contact that goes on too long for the win. 'So come on' starts walking & doesn't wait for her to follow cos knows she will] Bea: [raises her eyebrows like 'really' but does 'cos why wouldn't she] Fraze: [takes her to wherever he's stashed it nearby] Bea: [holds out hand like gimme] Fraze: [hands it over with a little lol] Bea: [looks at him like you drunk already but smiles and takes massive swig like ick, thanks creepy old dudes 'cos casual pro already] Fraze: [smiles back because casually always impressed and not gonna pretend he ain't, but does his own to prove he can hang obvs] Bea: ['least she'll be cheap to get pissed'] Fraze: ['shut up' cos he ain't like that and don't want her to think he is for obvious creepy old dude related reasons] Bea: [shrugs like what it's true then smirks at him 'cute'] Fraze: [his turn to be 😒 'don't'] Bea: ['who knew you were so chivalrous? so adorable' loling] Fraze: ['you, unless you've repressed more shit than you let on' because that's a throwback to them being little in itself he'd be so protective of her bye] Bea: [is like oh but fronts it all smirky like 'you wish, boy'] Fraze: [his turn to shrug cos it's true & they both know it but also return the smirk cos always & steal her words from earlier. 'not really' which is a lie] Bea: [shakes her head, drinks some more] Fraze: [likewise] Bea: ['think your brother's got a little girlfriend too'] Fraze: [laughs and gives a look like which one] Bea: [rolls eyes 'keep up, Tommy's had one for ages, Joe'] Fraze: ['Had money on Rocky before him'] Bea: ['Rude, he's cute.' Pausing for that dramatic effect 'cos evil 'least Kayleigh Macguire from year above him thinks so' older womens always] Fraze: [If I was being rude I'd have said he looks like a fucking girl & called her a Lezza but I ain't.' Pauses himself to give her a pisstaking look. 'That's what this mood is then, you didn't get to ask him out yourself. Unlucky like.'] Bea: ['Jealous 'cos he's pretty than yours? Sad times, Sherlock.'] Fraze: ['Fuck off. You're jealous 'cause she's got tits and you ain't, don't take it out on me'] Bea: [Laughs 'yeah I'm so devvo I'm not fat'] Fraze: ['Nah, gutted that Joe ain't tripping over himself for you though.'] Bea: [Flicking her cigarette away and stamping it out as she turns to go 'You're such an idiot'] Fraze: ['If you want him you're gonna have to make a move, cunt's got none of his own.'] Bea: [Exasperated 'I clearly don't'] Fraze: ['Clear that you're full of compliments for him' Shoves the bottle at her cos so angry always 'Offer him a drink, be his best mate. On the house along with the tip.'] Bea: ['Excuse me, just because I don't need to slag him off don't mean I'm in love with him, Jesus, what's wrong with you?'] Fraze: [just gives her a look like who's side are you on because dramatic af forever we know] Bea: ['Ridiculous, I already said.' Drinking 'cos she's got it now, like] Fraze: [turns to go himself because king of throwing a strop] Bea: ['You done with this then?' shakes the bottle like hello? 'good then' and goes to walk inside with it like a bad bitch ain't scared] Fraze: [pulls her back by her sleeve but like harder than he meant to because emotions be high so then has to take the bottle back and neck loads of it cos cant look at her] Bea: [grabbing the bottle and smashing it, wasteful but necessary] Fraze: ['what the fuck'] Bea: ['Don't fucking grab me'] Fraze: [bringing the eye contact back because he has to, you did wrong there boy & we all know it you included. 'I'm sorry.'] Bea: [Shrugs like okay then but won't meet his eyes stubbornly] Fraze: [rubs his eyes & puts his head in hands because fuck he did not mean for this. 'Go home, Bea' is now the time to tell her what to do even if it is softly & with feeling, no boy but god bless] Bea: [when you're not dignifying that with a response] Fraze: ['fuck's sake' but mostly to & at himself lbr] Bea: [starts walking away but not in 'cos like I said a bitch ain't eating so] Fraze: [stubbornly doesn't follow her though he obviously wants to] Bea: [where are you going, who knows, but you committed now] Fraze: Where are you going? Bea: What's it matter? Fraze: I said go home not go fucking missing Bea: Dramatic Bea: not missing, am I Bea: just gonna go see where everyone is Fraze: They're having dinner like Fraze: Don't be stupid Bea: everyone in town Bea: alright Bea: I'll find someone, don't worry Fraze: Don't say that to me Fraze: I clearly am Bea: what, you wanna be your mum now Fraze: Fuck off Fraze: I said sorry Fraze: Come back Bea: I don't want to Fraze: I don't want you wandering the fucking streets Bea: oh my god Bea: you invited me out earlier so don't lie Fraze: With me Bea: I can look after myself Fraze: I know Fraze: Jesus Bea: Then don't worry Bea: go eat Fraze: Stop saying that Fraze: Christ's sake Fraze: I don't wanna go eat Bea: Do what you want then Bea: I am Fraze: Tell me where you are then Fraze: I will Bea: [probably a park or something] Fraze: [finds her because obviously] Bea: [love a swing moment] Fraze: [pushes her on the swing because what are you gonna say boy] Bea: [is all 'I'm not a child' but not really aggressive more like done but doesn't try to get off or anything] Fraze: ['Stop having a tantrum then' um excuse you boy, hypocrite much] Bea: [digs her heels in but literally lol 'cos fuck you will always do the opposite] Fraze: [goes & sits on the swing next to her] Bea: ['why are you so annoying sometimes?'] Fraze: [gives her a look like bitch me, why are you] Bea: ['see'] Fraze: ['All I see is you giving me grief, babe.'] Bea: [makes a pah noise, 'oh you're so grown now, get enough of that from her is it?'] Fraze: [lights another 🚬 & shrugs] Bea: [says something like 'actually such a child' under her breath] Fraze: ['if you've got something to say to me, be braver and just fucking say it'] Bea: [says it louder like happy now] Fraze: ['what's up with you today, fucking hell'] Bea: ['I dunno, why don't you ask me if I'm on next, seeing as that's as mature as you can manage'] Fraze: [makes a noise of frustration not in a sexy way lol he's so mad] Bea: ['what's the matter with you?'] Fraze: ['You used to be a laugh'] Bea: [just looking at him like what do you want me to say to that] Fraze: ['Do you not wanna be mates any more?'] Bea: ['Well you obviously don't so'] Fraze: ['Don't put words in my mouth'] Bea: ['Why would you wanna be friends with someone who ain't a laugh? You said it, don't try and backtrack now'] Fraze: ['Cut the bullshit is what I'm saying. Stop being such a bitch.'] Bea: ['Don't talk to me like that, I'm not doing anything! You came here'] Fraze: [gets up like he's gonna walk off 'And I dunno why I fucking bothered'] Bea: ['No one asked you to, did they'] Fraze: ['you don't have to ask me to make sure you're alright. Jesus. Why can't I give a shit about you anymore?'] Bea: ['Why are you so dramatic when I'm just tryna go out and have fun too, only you're allowed now?'] Fraze: ['Bullshit is this fun for you'] Bea: ['You didn't give me chance, that's why'] Fraze: [walks away like well here's your chance then] Bea: [waves dramatically like 'see you at home'] Fraze: [if you can walk angrily he's doing it & you know he's gonna hit something when he gets chance] Bea: [dread to think who you gon find you better get home miss thing also skip] Fraze: Get home now, I ain't doing this on my fucking own Bea: um Bea: ? Fraze: You ain't forgotten that we gotta watch this kid Fraze: You wish Bea: Ah Bea: shit Bea: really Fraze: Yeah really Bea: isn't Joe there too Bea: you can't Bea: take it in turns or something Fraze: Nah he ain't Fraze: It's meant to be me & you Fraze: He's got some music shit, I dunno or care Bea: alright Bea: hang on then Bea: 10 to finish up 'bout the same to get back Fraze: Where the fuck are you? Fraze: He's bawling already, like Bea: He's a baby, that's one of 4 options so try the other ones out or ignore him Bea: coming fast as I can Bea: if anyone had reminded me maybe I'd be there Fraze: Not your fucking keeper, made that clear Bea: then don't complain Bea: or need to know where I'm at Fraze: Don't start Bea: Whatever Bea: let's just get this done Fraze: I am Fraze: You're the one who ain't here Bea: Why do you always start conversations when it's too late Bea: you like being pissed off that much Bea: I can't leave any faster so stop having a go Fraze: Why do you act like such a superior, responsible bitch when you ain't Fraze: You owe me 20 minutes Bea: Whatever Bea: you can go take a dump or crywank when I get there then Bea: like it's hard Bea: he can't go anywhere Fraze: I didn't say it was hard Fraze: Don't mean I wanna be here, doing it Bea: I ain't the one who had him Bea: take it up with your mum if you fancy it Fraze: Yeah 'cause I really fancy a slap Fraze: Shut up Bea: Coulda fooled me, boy Fraze: You couldn't if you wanted to Fraze: Come back with a ladder, like Bea: 😑 Fraze: Did you eat? Fraze: Wherever the fuck you are Bea: Nah Bea: no time Fraze: I'll go for chips when you're back then Bea: Alright Bea: tah Fraze: Whatever Bea: Gracious Fraze: I'm hungry Fraze: One of us is growing still Bea: Better not Bea: you won't fit in normal people places soon Fraze: 😂 Bea: and your ma ain't gonna get you a new uniform Fraze: Have to stop going to school then Fraze: Shame Bea: 💔 Bea: Poor boy Fraze: Was gonna ask you to help me with writing up that chemistry experiment bullshit but fuck it now Bea: We may as well Bea: actually Bea: considering you'll definitely just have to go Bea: you're a boy, no one is distracted by your ankles Fraze: Alright Bea: Don't worry Bea: not asking for enthusiasm Fraze: You can ask Fraze: Don't mean I'm giving it to you Bea: Gutted Bea: 🙄 Fraze: I know Fraze: You and the teachers both Bea: Soooo cool Bea: work on your boyfriends maybe Fraze: Fuck off Bea: 😂 Fraze: Keep walking, Princess Bea: Who says I need to Bea: 👑 Fraze: Being carried home, yeah? Fraze: Who's the unlucky cunt doing the heavy liifting Bea: Come on Bea: trying to be funny but still got to be accurate Fraze: Who says? Fraze: Ain't started the Chemistry yet, like Bea: 'cos it ain't funny if it's blatantly untrue Bea: 🤷 Fraze: Who says I'm trying to be funny Bea: So you just wanna call me fat to be a dick Bea: Alright Bea: Have fun Fraze: Always putting words in my mouth Bea: heavy liifting Bea: there it is Fraze: I'm calling your boyfriend weak, not you fat Bea: 🙄 Fraze: Anyone who ain't a pussy could pick you up easy Bea: Why would he need to Bea: got a bike6 Fraze: 👑 Bea: you said it Fraze: I stand by it Bea: Idiot Fraze: You're the one caught in the rain, babe Bea: least he got a spare helmet Bea: could be worse Fraze: Depends who he is Bea: Doubt you know Fraze: Could be better then Bea: 'cos all your friends are peak? Fraze: 'Cause if you're trying to keep him anon he ain't shit Bea: I ain't Bea: you want a selfie or something Fraze: Not while he's driving Bea: Safety first Fraze: Don't give a fuck about anything else Fraze: Like I said, I ain't doing this on my own Fraze: So get here in one piece, like Bea: Chill out Bea: he ain't just passed Fraze: Don't mean shit Fraze: I'm a better driver & I ain't Bea: You're funny Bea: feel free to tell him when we get here Bea: wouldn't be weird at all Fraze: What do I wanna talk to that cunt for? Bea: idk Bea: you seem interested Fraze: He ain't coming in & I ain't waiting on the doorstep for you Bea: not in this rain Bea: with the kid Fraze: Yeah 'cause that's the reason Bea: mhmm Bea: deny it 😜 Fraze: I just fucking did Bea: 😂 Fraze: [goes offline because dealing with Baby Rocky and not well lbr] Bea: [let us get there in that time girl so you can come help] Fraze: [throws a towel and one of his sweatshirts at her when she comes in because really raining and he's a gentleman lol] Bea: [checking her face hoping there isn't mascara everywhere] Fraze: [starts putting his coat and shoes on cos he said he'd get her chips and he meant it even though we know he doesn't have to go right this second he just don't know how to be around her rn] Bea: [just like okay and looking at Rocky like what's up with him eh, 'have you fed him yet?'] Fraze: ['yeah' isn't looking at her or anything like its not this much of a task to get ready boy we see you] Bea: [looking at the clock working out how long they gotta keep him entertained before bath and bed 'cos not gonna be that long, 'cool, you got money from your 'rents for dinner or you wanna halvesies it?'] Fraze: ['I'm good' & then goes out without saying bye or anything how rude] Bea: don't even ask me what I want, like? Fraze: like I need to Bea: Hm okay but still Fraze: What? Bea: stop being funny with me yeah Fraze: We ain't mates anymore Bea: Oh Bea: thanks for admitting it then Fraze: You admitted you didn't wanna be first Fraze: I'm just keeping up Bea: Did not Bea: You Fraze: Nah Bea: I remember Bea: you were already on it you were probably drunk Fraze: Yeah well I remember inviting you out 'cause I wanted to hang out with you & you throwing it back in my face Bea: I told you why Bea: it wasn't about you Fraze: You didn't tell me shit Fraze: You never do any more Bea: You don't listen Bea: I don't like her alright Fraze: You think you're too fucking good, just like him Fraze: It ain't about her, she weren't there Bea: Too good for who? Fraze: To hang about with me Bea: Don't be stupid Bea: when have I ever said that Fraze: Like I said, you don't say shit Bea: You mean you want me to say I am so you've got an excuse Bea: stop being a wimp and just do it Fraze: I don't need excuses, I ain't your pussy of a boyfriend Bea: I don't have a boyfriend Fraze: Don't bullshit me Bea: I don't Bea: I'm not trying to be tied down or tie down Bea: Tah Fraze: Whatever you wanna call him then Fraze: Give a fuck Bea: A random Fraze: Don't tell me that Fraze: It don't make it better Bea: What Bea: I just got a lift because it was pissing it down Fraze: You know what Bea: No Bea: I don't Fraze: Yeah you do Fraze: Don't be stupid Bea: It isn't a big deal Bea: he's harmless Fraze: Jesus, Bea Bea: How can I make it any clearer it's nothing to be worried about Fraze: How can I make it any clearer that you wind me the fuck up Fraze: Forget about it Bea: well it's mutual Fraze: Yeah Bea: could've just said no Fraze: You could've said no to the lad on the bike Bea: why Bea: you said i had to be back Bea: it would've taken me ten times as long Fraze: [Comes back looking fresh to the death with that popped collar & wet look hi] Bea: [control yo 😍] Fraze: [swaps a baby for chips casually lol] Bea: [putting something baby hypnotizing on the tv and getting drinks] Fraze: [gives her look like you could literally put the godfather on what does he know but then eating cos growing boy fr] Bea: [shrugs like anything for an easy life boy] Fraze: [shrugs back] Bea: [awkward chip eating] Fraze: [at least he'd eat fast even if he's also on his phone cos popular] Bea: [Rocky grizzling 'cos getting sleepy so looking at him like ready 'cos she's not gonna be eating loads] Fraze: [okay but Fraze telling the bab a story that Joe told him when they were little during the bad times TM] Bea: [just being quiet 'cos nice moment] Fraze: [then Fraze takes him up to bed cos sleepy lil baby being uncharacteristically soft cos we know he loves them all so much really] Bea: [doing some clean up downstairs 'cos don't wanna intrude but wants to be helpful] Fraze: [comes back down and throws all his school shit on the now clean kitchen table cos chemistry calls] Bea: ['have you done any yet?] Fraze: [shakes his head cos obvious he don't know what to fucking do but gotta style it out like he don't care obvs] Bea: [sitting down and looking through it like okay let's do this] Fraze: [sneaking a look at her while she's looking at the work cos wants to] Bea: [explaining it like okay this won't take us long 'cos not a bad teacher] Fraze: [trying to listen but distracted shamelessly by the fact she's wearing his sweatshirt looking cute & they are sitting closer together than need to technically] Bea: [is like oh no I must have shit on my face like casually touching her face tryna check lowkey] Fraze: [has to look away cos trying not to smile at how fucking cute she is] Bea: [after a while doing that little exasperated laugh like 'what?'] Fraze: [a look before he can stop himself] Bea: [returning it] Fraze: [needs to look away but never will] Bea: ['I-' starts to say something but then doesn't, trying to get on with the work when so distracted] Fraze: [was casually leaning in but stops when she does] Bea: [is like i'm gonna go check on the baby like don't need to but gotta run] Fraze: [gets up to go before she can because likewise can't fucking sit here or will die] Bea: [when you have to raid the bar soz mcvickers] Fraze: [literally is up there like doing the cliche leaning against the closed bathroom door & hitting the mirror not hard enough to break it obvs but as like a why are you such a fucking idiot cos mood] Bea: he okay? Fraze: Yeah Fraze: [comes down & outside like he can just 🚬 in the pissing down rain like I know you ain't put your coat back on boy calm down] Bea: [comes out and gives him another LOOK] Fraze: [is trying to light the 🚬 but it won't obvs so he throws his lighter across the garden & swears about it because mature response and of course looks back at her even though he shouldn't] Bea: [when you just mean to pull him back inside but then you're pulling him into you and yeah] Fraze: [when you've wanted to kiss for the longest time and you finally do and its everything and you can't stop] Bea: [how overwhelming goodbye] Fraze: [literally though we might need to have mcvickers come home because no chill otherwise] Bea: [fr fr also you need to be inside in case Rocky wakes up so at least get yourself to the kitchen, when you're literally drenched #mood] Fraze: [they can kiss their way inside cos almost parallel to when they did it in the other convo to their garage room. When you shivering but it ain't cos you are cold also #mood] Bea: [taking the jumper off 'cos you know soaked to the bone but does that thing where you don't stop kissing somehow] Fraze: [lowkey sitting her on the edge of the table soz homework you gonna get wet because the height difference is real when they both standing up and can't get as close as they want but still not stopping the kissing at any point ever] Bea: [the levels of fuck you don't give even as babies we really gonna have to interrupt this 'cos no chill in telling him she wants him] Fraze: [like maybe Rocky is crying but ignoring cos priorities sorry baby boy but then they hear the car pull up and can't ignore that but also waiting until the last possible moment to stop because like you said no fucks given or chill] Bea: [when you gotta shoot upstairs 'cos you don't wanna be the one who has to explain why tf you soaked soz boy godspeed, deal with that baby gurl] Fraze: [when you're trying to clean up the blatant puddles on the floor but there's also the state of the table & no time so wtf can you do lowkey other than sweep that wet homework into your bag to worry about later and just face out the blatant state of the kitchen floor] Fraze: [at least he can blag he's soaked because he went to get chips because not a lie] Bea: [seriously sort yourself out girl 'cos no need to be that obvious] Bea: 🍀 Fraze: [Tess @ Fraze like why didn't you wear a coat you little idiot literally go upstairs & get dry so he does but you know he's just gonna go upstairs and hope they cross paths cos not scared of the danger] Fraze: Where are you? Bea: My room Fraze: [quickest put on of dry clothes in the world so he can come to her because only one with her own room we know] Bea: [just sat on her bed like hey] Fraze: [leaves the door open so he can hear if mcvickers are lurking & no shame in just picking up where they left off like boy you gotta chill] Bea: [fixing his hair which is too short to need fixing 'cos you just wanna] Fraze: [pulling her even closer to him like that's not a dangerous game, I can't even deal with either of you] Bea: [peppering in 'we should stop's with all the encouragement like okay bitch] Fraze: [he's as bad because you know he's just like on top of her on her bed right now kissing her like that's fine and they couldn't get caught any second] Bea: [again where are all the other kids, did they have a club, parents evening, who knows but don't interrupt] Fraze: [Let's say Joe comes back at least because can't be out all night like it'd make sense if Ro & Ali were like at at sleepover with ginger bitch cos creepy trio at that point & Tommy could likewise have some dance thing with Meena cos baby partners] Bea: [when you hear someone coming up the stairs and you have to jump apart like the guiltiest hoes in the world but it's just Joe going to his room so you're like do we or don't we] Fraze: [Blatantly are gonna continue but let's force a stop by having Tess calling one of them for some reason, probably Fraze for some shit he's done lol] Bea: [how to life now] Fraze: [Honestly, just imagine omg] Fraze: I don't have a girlfriend Bea: Okay Bea: what is she Fraze: If you hear her say she is, it's bullshit, like Fraze: She kissed me but I didn't Bea: Alright Bea: I believe you over her so Fraze: You have to Fraze: I don't want her Bea: fucking promise Fraze: I swear Fraze: I'll tell her Fraze: I'll tell everyone Fraze: & I'll show you Bea: I believe you Bea: you want me Bea: don't you Fraze: Yeah Fraze: Bunk off with me tomorrow Bea: Yeah Bea: alright Fraze: Alright Bea: nothing happened Bea: with that lad Fraze: I believe you Fraze: I still wanna fuck him up though Bea: He's irrelevant Bea: you know what I was doing anyway Fraze: Same I was Bea: Yeah? Fraze: I don't like her but I liked that you were jealous of her Bea: Dick Fraze: You'd love it if I beat up bike boy Fraze: Come on Bea: Bet you couldn't anyway Fraze: Bullshit Fraze: You know I can Bea: Maybe Fraze: Nah Bea: well you don't need to Bea: focus on me Fraze: I can do both Fraze: Not gonna take long to fight him Bea: Come on Fraze: What? Bea: already pissed off everyone came and stopped us Bea: don't wanna waste time Fraze: I'm not gonna go find him now, like Fraze: Or tomorrow Fraze: That's a full day of no other cunts about, just me & you Bea: feels like ages since we did that Fraze: 'Cause it has been Bea: Yeah Bea: we've gotta be careful Fraze: You can still get top marks if you don't have perfect attendance, babe Bea: 😏 not what I meant Fraze: I know Fraze: But we ain't that fucking stupid Bea: nah Bea: I'm glad we're talking again Bea: properly Fraze: Me too Fraze: I didn't mean all the cunty shit I said Fraze: You know that, yeah? Bea: I know Bea: it don't matter Bea: we were both as bad Fraze: Yeah but we gotta clear the air Fraze: I ain't wanted you this long to let it get fucked up Bea: It won't Bea: but alright Bea: what do you wanna say Bea: or know Bea: idk Fraze: Just that I'm sorry Fraze: Not just Bea: you're allowed to get with other girls Bea: if you want Bea: but I can't not be jealous Fraze: I don't Bea: You know there's nothing they can do that I can't do better yeah Fraze: Yeah I know you're better than them Fraze: Not only like that though Bea: Don't need to sweet-talk me Fraze: It's not Fraze: You don't need me to tell you that you're smart & still are a laugh & not full of shit Fraze: But you asked me what I wanted to say Bea: I wish tomorrow was now Fraze: If you can stay up I'll come back when everyone's asleep Fraze: It'll be late enough to count as tomorrow Bea: what happened to being careful then Fraze: Who don't you trust, me or you? Bea: 😏 Bea: shut up Bea: I'll be awake Fraze: & I'll be careful Bea: Fraze Fraze: Yeah? Bea: Have you got things for tomorrow Bea: condoms Fraze: 'Course Fraze: School's always chucking 'em at us Fraze: Cheers Da for not making us go Catholic Bea: 😂 Bea: Good Fraze: Anything else you want? Fraze: Got a whole day to kill, like Bea: Just you Fraze: Bea Bea: Yeah? Fraze: You have me now Bea: I've wanted to hear that for a long time Fraze: I've wanted it to be true for a long time Bea: I can't stop thinking about you Fraze: Don't Fraze: 'Cause I think about you all the time Bea: It's so Bea: distracting Fraze: I ain't saying sorry Bea: I don't want you to Bea: I want you to be missing me as much as I miss you right now though Fraze: Tell me how much Fraze: I'll give it my best shot Bea: I don't know what to do with myself now Bea: I can't sleep but I can't do anything productive Fraze: Keep thinking about me Fraze: That'll be well productive Bea: One word for it Bea: you want me to Fraze: I don't want you to stop thinking about me, like ever Bea: Give it my best shot Bea: 😜 Fraze: Good Bea: You know I think about you Fraze: Yeah but thinking I'm an idiot don't count Bea: That's only like Bea: half the time Fraze: 😂 Fraze: I reckon I can change those figures Fraze: Decent odds at it now Bea: Not gonna say no if you think you're up to the challenge Fraze: What challenge? Fraze: You want me, you told me Bea: Alright, rude Bea: can change my mind, you know Fraze: You won't Fraze: I want you & I'll show you, like I said Bea: have you done it before Fraze: With who? I already told you, you're better than them Bea: I just wanted to know Fraze: You heard when a girl kissed me but you reckon you'd not know that Bea: I don't know Bea: doesn't bode well for how sneaky you can be Bea: does it Fraze: Weren't trying to be then Bea: Yeah you were trying to make me jealous Bea: 😒 Fraze: Exactly Bea: Did you really have to do that Fraze: Would you have kissed me if she didn't? Bea: Maybe not today Fraze: Then I did have to Bea: I just remembered how it was when we were little Bea: if I got in shit then Fraze: I ain't forgotten Fraze: We'll be careful Bea: Where we gonna go Bea: you're mum will be in won't she Fraze: Yeah but Shane's ma ain't & I know where the spare key is Fraze: We can go to his Bea: Good idea Bea: glad he's got some use Fraze: 😂 Bea: not gonna have a thank you note or anything but Fraze: You don't like any of my mates, do you? Bea: Well Bea: they're alright Bea: some of 'em Fraze: Gimme a list of the alright ones & I'll keep you away from 'em before I get jealous Bea: 😂 Bea: Cute Fraze: Don't take the piss Bea: I ain't Bea: not my fault you're so fucking cute Fraze: 😏 Bea: Come be cute here soon okay Bea: you're taking the piss not me Fraze: It ain't my fault Joe won't go the fuck to sleep Fraze: He's taking the piss, not me Bea: He'll be up half the night probably Bea: 😒 Fraze: Fuck that Fraze: I'll batter him Bea: Least that ain't out of character Bea: no one's gonna question that like Fraze: Come downstairs Fraze: Nobody can question us getting a drink at the same time Bea: [does, probably looking cute in PJs] Fraze: [likewise cos you know he's topless but rocking them pj bottoms #mood] Bea: [we all know] Fraze: [puts her on the counter instead of the table this time because gotta just make mems everywhere] Bea: [shh kiddos] Fraze: [casual stealth kissing] Bea: [one of yous is gonna have to find chill] Fraze: [let's have Rocky cry for a throwback & to remind them that Mcvickers exist lol] Bea: [smiling bit sad like well that's the end of that then, 'you go up first'] Fraze: [gives her the best final kiss first because that bitch but then yeah you gotta go boy] Bea: [when the curse of wanting to say ily is back with a vengeance lmao] Bea: You're good at that Bea: don't waste it on anyone else yeah Fraze: I won't Fraze: You're not gonna either, are you? Bea: No Bea: why would I Fraze: I dunno Fraze: 'Cause you could Fraze: You're fucking hot, you know Bea: So are you Bea: I'm not interested in anyone else right now Fraze: Me either Bea: 👍 Fraze: 😂 Fraze: You speechless, yeah? Bea: You wish Fraze: Nah Fraze: Like we said, I'm glad we're talking again Bea: Good Bea: it's hard to ignore you Bea: not just 'cos we live in the same house Fraze: It was hard to ignore you when we didn't Fraze: You know, like Fraze: That shit from when we were kids Fraze: It weren't your fault Bea: Whatever Bea: don't matter Fraze: Yeah it does Fraze: I didn't even like girls & I liked you Bea: so special yeah Fraze: Maybe Bea: don't chat shit Fraze: Alright then yeah Fraze: I wanna be with you, don't I? Fraze: Not none of the rest Bea: we don't need to talk about it Bea: or put a label on it Bea: can't tell anyone anyway yeah Fraze: You mean you don't wanna Fraze: You already said you ain't looking to be tied down or tie down Bea: no Bea: I mean what I said Bea: you know that Fraze: Whatever Bea: Don't be moody Bea: I still want you too Fraze: I ain't Bea: Sure? Fraze: If you want me to be in a mood, keep going Bea: Come on Bea: be my friend 😉 Fraze: Be mine Bea: I am Bea: your best friend Fraze: Yeah Bea: You're mine too Fraze: Keep it like that Fraze: You don't need any new friends even if you reckon you need a lift Bea: He ain't my friend Fraze: Good Bea: Fraze Fraze: What? Bea: it's really hard to stop Fraze: What do you mean? Bea: I mean Bea: I just want more Fraze: Well, that ain't no problem Bea: It can be Fraze: Nah, not for us Bea: yeah Bea: okay then Bea: you do want to Bea: I didn't ask Bea: I just Fraze: 'Cause you don't need to ask Fraze: Why wouldn't I? Bea: idk Bea: you might not be ready to go all the way Fraze: Don't get dramatic Fraze: It's not a big deal, like Bea: Can be Bea: some people Bea: but alright then Fraze: I'm not a fucking girl Bea: didn't say you were Bea: not only girls care about this shit Fraze: Lads don't Bea: says who Fraze: Everyone Bea: I bet most of your mates are still virgins so Fraze: 'Cause they can't talk any girls into it Bea: you think that's what's happened here Fraze: I'm not talking about them, not us Bea: I'll see you later Fraze: Don't Bea: I just don't wanna chat about this Fraze: You started it Fraze: What you wanna talk me out of it for? Bea: I was making sure Bea: it's what you're meant to do Fraze: You know I am Bea: then there's nothing else that needs saying Fraze: I ain't scared of anything Fraze: There's that, if you've forgotten Bea: you don't have to prove shit to me Fraze: No I fucking don't Bea: Why are you angry at me Fraze: Why are you treating me like some kind of pussy all of a sudden? Bea: I ain't Bea: that's how you've decided to take it Bea: which is more ridiculous Fraze: How else am I meant to take it? Bea: that I give a shit about how you feel Bea: won't bother from now on though Fraze: Then listen to me Fraze: Jesus Bea: I have Bea: fucking hell Fraze: Do you not want to Fraze: 'Cause that's how it's starting to sound Bea: No Bea: I told you I do Fraze: Alright Fraze: Then stop trying to have a domestic with me Bea: I said shut up Bea: just come when he's asleep Fraze: I am Bea: 👍 Fraze: Don't fall asleep before he does Bea: 😑 I'm not gonna am I Bea: wake me up anyway Fraze: Knowing you, you'll start doing your homework or some shit Bea: meant to be doing yours Bea: actually Fraze: Fucked until it dries out though Bea: you're so devvo, I'm sure 😏 Fraze: 'Course Bea: Maybe I'll make you do it tomorrow Bea: 😂 Fraze: Maybe I'll make you forget you said that Fraze: Fucking hope so Bea: Ha Bea: me too Fraze: These days you're such a swot though Fraze: Only so much I can do Bea: Piss off Bea: just 'cos I'm smart Fraze: Exactly why you don't need to be such a fucking stresshead about it Bea: just 'cos I get my work done don't mean I stress Fraze: When you won't come out 'cause you've got work that's stressing Bea: I wouldn't come out 'cos she was there, stupid Fraze: That ain't the only time you've said no Bea: Well Bea: gotta do it some time Bea: I thought you just wanted to be with your mates too Fraze: You're my mate Fraze: Best, so you said Bea: I am Fraze: Then why wouldn't I wanna hang around with you? Fraze: Don't be stupid Bea: Alright Bea: maybe they don't Fraze: Give a shit Fraze: They can fuck off Bea: 😂 Fraze: 😂 Bea: we can do whatever we want tomorrow Fraze: Yeah Fraze: & any other day, like Fraze: You're the one who gives a shit about school Bea: well gotta go in sometimes Fraze: Nah, the teachers love it when I ain't there Bea: Your mum wouldn't though Fraze: She's got her hands full with the new one Fraze: Can do what I want Bea: test that theory Fraze: I'm about to Bea: Yeah? Bea: Better be coming here or rude Fraze: [Finally shows up fucks sake Joe also how low key triggering to have someone creep into your room in the middle of the night soz Bea] Bea: [but it's cool 'cos you been impatiently waiting so you very ready and here for it] Fraze: [Dread to think what time it is, Joe you cockblock] Bea: [whispering obvs 'you were ages'] Fraze: ['Give Joe a beating in the morning if you like'] Bea: ['Maybe I will...Or you could save him and make me feel better now'] Fraze: [kisses her like its been a thousand years since he last did instead of however long] Bea: [just pushing him down on the bed like that ain't a dangerous game] Fraze: [At least he's quiet unlike his future son so one less thing to worry about] Bea: ['I can't wait for tomorrow..it's been so long coming'] Fraze: [Nods cos ain't that the truth but despite what you said you are lowkey nervous cos the love is real & you want it to be good] Bea: [tilts his head for eye contact and gives him a softer-starting kiss] Fraze: [When you're ruined by the softness so you gotta go harder because who is he if not someone who hides behind being a cocky little shit] Bea: [goes with it] Fraze: [When you've never touched a girl in a sexy way before but enthusiasm and bravado are your friends] Bea: [do what feels good lads] Fraze: [Thank god he was friends with much older lads as a tiny boy, inappropriate as that was 'cause heard & saw some shit that'll help him now] Fraze: [All those times at the playground with the teens, oh god bless baby baze] Bea: [when you know a lot but trying to tone it down for all the reasons] Fraze: [Yeah making him feel awkward isn't a good idea even though it's okay you're a virgin boy you're young af, lowkey am gonna have to help him though cos he don't know as much as he thinks he knows lbr] Bea: [moving him where he needs to be and making the right noises of encouragement, quietly though please] Fraze: [Very tactful babe, well played, you've earned yourself a turned on gasp from him for your efforts] Bea: [looking at him like 'good, I know'] Fraze: [some good eye contact] Bea: ['Fuck'] Fraze: [is 😏] Bea: [tries to say 'shut up' but you know don't clearly] Fraze: [kisses her cos they obvs both need to be quiet even if they don't wanna] Bea: [when you gotta bite your lip really hard] Fraze: [when bae looks really hot doing that so you're just like damn] Bea: [up in his ear like 'tomorrow we can be as loud as we want'] Fraze: [his turn to say fuck] Bea: [puts her finger to his lips like shh] Fraze: [such a look because stop being so hot thank you but also don't] Bea: [bringing out some of your knowledge 'cos not tryna be a dead fish either tah] Fraze: [Least some good can come out of how sad that makes me to think about, excuse me Bea: [ily curse] Fraze: [literally same though, you know I ain't gonna be able to stop him for long] Bea: [when you have to stop 'cos hear someone on the landing like hold up] Fraze: [hold your breath and freeze lads] Bea: [try not to be too frustrated and fail] Fraze: [the way he'd be looking at her wouldn't help soz babe] Bea: [just moving slowly like this'll be fine] Fraze: [when you should give a shit but you clearly don't, oh you two never change] Fraze: [okay but giving her little kisses because they are soft and don't make a sound goodbye] Bea: [being like oh 'cos intimacy what] Fraze: [literally nearly said it shhh] Bea: ['you're so'] Fraze: [looks at her like finish that sentence thank you] Bea: [teases him longer than necessary like 😏] Fraze: [When you lowkey forget that you have to be quiet because you're going hard so that she'll tell you/give you another compliment/make a sound thats so hot you don't mind that she didn't finish her sentence] Bea: [When his back is gonna be scratched to fuck 'cos you gotta hold in how loud you need to be, 'good, you're so fucking good'] Fraze: [When you can't even be smug cos so into all of this rn that how to do life tbh] Bea: [when you start going some 'cos how much more can either of you take lbr] Fraze: [seriously though] Bea: [hope whoever has gone back to bed bye] Fraze: [I'm loling because this is day 1 like how long are you gonna keep this under wraps for lads] Bea: [when you keep kissing 'cos you don't want him to go but gotta] Fraze: [when you wanna stay but you don't know how to be like yeah let's just fall asleep together snuggling bye so you're just kissing her back and holding onto her nbd] Bea: [when you have to stop eventually or you're just gonna start again so you're just looking up at him] Fraze: [When this is the one time you have to look away first because you're gonna fucking say it if you don't so its like the slowest and most ridiculous song and dance of almost leaving ever like boy you ain't gonna put on shoes and a coat we can't string this out forever] Bea: [just there with nothing to do casually like get your PJs back on properly, fix your hair, 'night, Fraze'] Fraze: [off he goes without saying anything how rude but we know its cos he dare not] Bea: I know it was good Bea: don't try and pretend Fraze: I ain't pretending nothing Bea: you didn't say nothing Fraze: Being quiet weren't I Bea: I managed still Fraze: Yeah alright Bea: just don't be weird Fraze: I ain't being anything Bea: alright Fraze: Not gonna be like 'well cheers then' am I, that'd be weird Bea: obviously not 🙄 weirdo Bea: gave you an easy out why didn't you just say night back Fraze: 'Cause I don't wanna say goodnight Bea: okay then Fraze: I don't wanna just go to sleep like that didn't happen Bea: what do you wanna do Fraze: Come & have a 🚬 with me, yeah? Bea: Alright Bea: you got 1? Bea: I might have but only emergency 1 Fraze: Got loads for tomorrow Fraze: Today now, like Bea: Can use 'em to count Bea: See you out there Bea: I need to freshen up Fraze: Don't be ages Bea: not gonna put on a full face of makeup Bea: just sort this mess slightly tah Fraze: You don't look a mess Bea: Well, a bit Bea: but that's your fault Fraze: I'm in a worse state but you don't hear me saying anything Fraze: Come on Fraze: It looks like it's gonna piss down again Bea: Yeah, that was my point 😜 Bea: you better have put a top on Fraze: I've put my dressing gown on, so you can stop swooning over me, like Bea: 😂 oh shut up Fraze: Make me, babe Fraze: If you ever get enough of a move on Bea: You wish we could Bea: I'm coming, bloody hell Bea: so impatient Fraze: You've had all my patience before now Fraze: & it didn't get me what I wanted Bea: so that's that fucked forever is it Bea: good to know Fraze: I'm waiting on you now, ain't I? Bea: You're cute Fraze: You made it obvious you reckon so Bea: Know you ain't mad about it Fraze: Didn't say I was Bea: Be an idiot if you was Bea: [comes down] Fraze: [intense eye contact ftw & forever but this time over the 🚬 as he puts it in her mouth & lights it, so intimate excuse you boy] Bea: [dying so you just gotta smoke and nod your thanks like] Fraze: [When you shrug but the look of love you're giving her betrays you as not casual lol] Bea: [giving it back so we're all good, going to sit down on whatever patio furniture they're rocking but it's cold and wet so mistake] Fraze: [Lols cos she's so cute sorry bout it] Bea: [when you're pouty but not mad mad 'what happened to being quiet then?'] Fraze: [Picks her up and does the thing where she's also wrapped in the dressing gown so they both are because she's smol and shameless excuse to do a hug obvs and also not answer because did not mean to break the silence especially not first] Bea: [Snuggle pause] Fraze: [When you don't ever wanna put her down or let her go so you give her kisses so you don't have to] Bea: [just enjoy it you cute kids] Fraze: [just making out with the love of your life in the garden in the middle of the night nbd] Bea: [only stopping to give him the cigarette like don't forget but 😏 'cos you both know that ain't why you're out there] Fraze: [When you end up lowkey fucking the bae with your clothes on because that's why you ain't gone in yet shamelessly but because you ain't you can't be taking your clothes off here & now even though that's all you wanna do. At least PJs aren't a total cockblock unlike if you were both wearing jeans or some nonsense which would just be frustrating instead of good] Bea: [yay for getting to be a bit louder 'cos you should all be in bed neighbours] Fraze: [still not as loud as you want but you're welcome girl] Bea: ['How did you-' when you'd be used to the stamina of old creeps and lbr that's the only blessing there] Fraze: [Telling her how hot she is etc because that's true and a nicer answer than being like well I'm young af I only need a minute] Bea: [leaving it there like okay] Fraze: [Literally wanna say ILY what can I say instead send help] Bea: ['I'll miss you' talking about going to bed obvs] Fraze: ['You don't have to' when you feeling brave enough to hint that you wanna stay RIP] Bea: ['you know you'd have to get up in a few hours now, the baby wakes them up at the crack of dawn so' sad shrug] Fraze: [Gives her a look like yeah and what cos living that life rn where he believes there ain't nothing he can't do, bless you bab. 'If you want me to, I will' see what you did there boy acting like its not what you want haha] Bea: [thinking, 'not like either of us is getting much sleep now, still have to pretend to go to school so' more shrugging] Fraze: [shrugs back because oh so casual obvs lol] Bea: ['if you wanna, like'] Fraze: [when you smile before you can stop yourself/realise you have cos you just happy about it] Bea: [smiles back like sorted then] Fraze: [does the handshake from when they were little, remember when] Bea: [but finishes it with a smooch 'cos] Fraze: [Leads her back inside by the sleeve because girl you better have some kind of coat or jacket on my dad would be screaming] Bea: [cuteness ensues] Fraze: [Imagine how unreal this would all feel though like] Bea: [just touching him all the time like you're really there] Fraze: [couldn't get any closer to her if he tried though so its okay] Bea: ['do you feel any different or do you reckon that's just bollocks?'] Fraze: [When you wanna say you feel happier but you're such a stereotypical teenage lad how can you talk about your feelings like that so you just shrug] Bea: [looks at him like lol good chat babe and turns to get comfy] Fraze: [snuggles her because that's the real communication here] Bea: [let's just appreciate for a sec] Fraze: [it's soft time & I'm here for it thank you] Bea: [gonna be so knackered lmao] Fraze: [gonna have to drink so much shit instant coffee tomorrow, not a mood] Fraze: [At least they ain't going to school they'd actually be falling asleep] Bea: [you know she'd wake up before him and be ready even though could probably have another hour or two of sleep once he's back in his own room 'cos Rocky be up at about 5 and it's not like you need to start getting ready for School 'til like 7/8 tbh 'cos she's just that put together bitch, nudging him like hey sleepyhead] Fraze: [Let's not think about how cute he'd look half asleep goodbye] Bea: ['you gotta run'] Fraze: [Does because even sleepy he's not stupid and not trying to get caught but before he goes a little peck goodbye like the cliche when a dude is going to work and kisses his missus because seen that and copying it] Bea: You're a nerd Fraze: Bet you're doing homework as you try and take the piss out of me Bea: You're still a loser 😘 Fraze: And you're still impressed by me, babe Bea: Impressed isn't the word I'd go for Fraze: Should be Bea: Oh really Fraze: Yeah Bea: Hmm Bea: well keep trying Fraze: Fuck off, I don't need to try Bea: 🤷 Bea: Go back to sleep then, can get at least an hour or 2 Fraze: Alright Fraze: Don't miss me too much, like Bea: Do my best Fraze: Good Bea: 😏 Bea: you did look cute though Fraze: Don't be watching me sleep Bea: Shut up Bea: like you'd know Bea: constant audience Bea: you know you like me more than both of 'em Fraze: I like you more than anyone Fraze: It don't mean you can take liberties Bea: Don't worry, I'm not planning on it Bea: might get distracted by Joe like Fraze: Shut up Bea: You Fraze: You ain't allowed to like him Bea: Why not Fraze: Loads of reasons Fraze: So don't Bea: I don't Bea: but I could if I wanted to Fraze: [Doesn't answer because fuming about this] Bea: You fallen asleep? Fraze: Yeah Bea: 👍 Bea: Alright Fraze: See you at breakfast, like Bea: yep Fraze: Alright Fraze: Good morning then Bea: Don't say it Fraze: What? Bea: you didn't wanna say it last night Bea: so don't say it now Fraze: Whatever Bea: Fine Bea: Bye Fraze: Just forget I said it Bea: why Fraze: 'Cause I didn't mean to Bea: Yeah you did you're in a mood Fraze: Don't Bea: You don't Fraze: Fuck's sake Bea: I told you I don't fancy Joe, don't be ridiculous Fraze: & I said shut up Bea: I've not said anything wrong Bea: but fine Fraze: I ain't talking about him no more Bea: not like he's my favourite topic of conversation Fraze: Stop fucking bringing him up then Bea: this is fucking ridiculous Fraze: You started it Bea: How am I meant to ignore him he lives here too Fraze: Do what you want Bea: not if you're gonna be mad with me about it Fraze: I'm not mad at you Bea: who then Fraze: Me Fraze: I just can't think about you with anyone else Bea: I told you I don't want anyone else Bea: it was just a stupid joke Fraze: I fucking know that Bea: I'm sorry Bea: alright Fraze: Don't Bea: What, I can't say sorry Bea: it was dumb Fraze: Not for this shit Fraze: I got wound up, that's on me Bea: we alright? Fraze: Are you gonna forgive me for being such a cunt? Bea: You ain't Bea: and you aren't Bea: so yeah Fraze: You know it's 'cause I like you, yeah? Bea: I like you too Fraze: I'll make it up to you Fraze: I swear Bea: I like you Bea: cunt or nah Bea: remember Fraze: I ain't forgotten Fraze: Point is, I wanna keep it like that Fraze: & have a good time Fraze: Not a day you're dreading, like Bea: I'm not Bea: swear, not gonna make it weird Bea: just have fun Fraze: Fuck it then Fraze: I'm getting coffee Fraze: You want a cup? Bea: Yeah please Fraze: Meet me in the kitchen for a trial run of acting like you hate me or whatever Fraze: Loads of past experience to draw from Bea: 😂 Bea: it was never hate, drama queen Bea: but yeah, I've got this Fraze: I know that but this family don't Bea: I'm not gonna come down and kiss you, it's fine Fraze: Shame Fraze: But alright Bea: Take it up with the fam, not me Fraze: Wouldn't be the first time I kicked off before breakfast Bea: If you can think of a decent excuse you're less tired than me Fraze: I don't need one Fraze: I'm a McKenna, end of Bea: 🙄😏 Bea: can't say it doesn't work Fraze: I've never had a bad idea, babe Fraze: Come on Bea: ha Bea: you've had plenty but I always sve your ass from trouble Fraze: See? Have to keep hold of you Fraze: Need you, don't I? Bea: Yeah, you do Fraze: You're smart, think of a reason we've gotta go to school early, yeah? Bea: Alright Bea: coffee me first Bea: [comes down] Fraze: [gives her the mug with a kiss because nobody about yet even though you know they could appear at any point, like] Bea: [obvs kisses back and is happy but then does a fake 'fuck you' look 'cos practising] Fraze: [gives her a look back obvs but then kisses her again cos no fucks given about the danger] Bea: [when you sit ON the table to be like remember when with that eyebrow raise and sipping your coffee] Fraze: [gives her a very different look but because I'm evil before he can do anything Tess Vickers TM comes in with baby Rocky but like is lowkey so sleep deprived she don't even notice them straight away and gotta do that mum double take like oh] Bea: [hop off that table bitch and start explaining your excuses for why you gotta go school early, she knows Tess ain't gonna be #invested so as long as it's boring and semi-believable, probably like helping with some breakfast club, her for looking good on a uni app, him 'cos gotta for detention vibe maybe] Fraze: [when you already annoyed cos your ma cockblocked your table moment and then she shoves your baby brother at you for a sec cos you say that's the reason you're awake #believable gang & then she makes a joke about coffee stunting your growth cos toll boy & such a mum haha but then you cheer up cos the bae comes through with a good lie, not that you're gonna show it] Bea: [when you're just smirky 'cos heheh got away with it] Fraze: Either that coffee kicked in proper quick or you didn't really need it Bea: You can tell me how smart I am on here Bea: no one will know Fraze: [Baby in one hand, phone in the other, what a mood & a look lol] Fraze: Maybe I wanna say it to your face Bea: Won't have to wait too long Bea: thanks to my genius 😜 Fraze: It's still gonna feel like ages Bea: just be thankful the little ones aren't here Bea: be even worse Fraze: Believe me, I fucking am Bea: Shame that one's not old enough to ship off either but you know Bea: [comes over and squishes baby Rocky's cheeks] Fraze: It's alright, he won't say shit Fraze: [Kisses her again like see and also because any second alone is a chance he's gonna take shamelessly] Bea: [just looking at him like you're crazy boy] Fraze: Get back on the table, I'll be like less than a minute Fraze: [Takes Rocky away like you don't need to see this bab] Bea: Aw, don't do yourself down like that, babe Fraze: Shut up, not what I meant Fraze: [Comes back & gives her a look like obviously what I meant thank you] Bea: [when you can't argue with that look] Fraze: [the sneaky tabletop make out we all deserve] Bea: ['when's the earliest we can leave, realistically?'] Fraze: ['Fuck it, I'll get ready & let's just go' cos he shamelessly has just been fucking around this whole time like sort your shit boy] Bea: [nods like alright, 'sadly I can't come with so, be quick, yeah?'] Fraze: [I love that she felt the need to say that cos we all know he's a boy that takes ages normally lol so gonna take that on board slightly but still gonna take a while cos that bitch. At least they won't be leaving suspiciously early by the time he's done fucking around] Bea: how do you even take so long Bea: you've not got hair to style, you don't wear make up Fraze: Do you want me to look good for you or nah? Bea: You always look good Fraze: You're only telling me that 'cause you want me to hurry the fuck up Bea: So negative Bea: Usually happy to take a compliment Fraze: Give me one when you ain't waiting on me & I'll have it Bea: Babe Fraze: Yeah? Bea: it's so impressive how you can turn anything and everything into a fight Bea: how's that for a real compliment Fraze: Cheers Fraze: Do my best Bea: Well you're the best at it Bea: no doubt about that Fraze: Like I said, everything's a fight Fraze: Gotta be ready for it Bea: Then I shouldn't even bother being nice to you Fraze: I told you, do what you want Bea: Well I might wanna be nice to you Bea: but if you don't believe that then Fraze: If you wanna then do it, that's literally what I'm saying Bea: Lord Bea: I'll be outside Fraze: Babe Fraze: Don't be mad about it Bea: I ain't Bea: I just Bea: nah, idk Fraze: Tell me Bea: You don't have to be like that with me Bea: I thought you knew that Fraze: I do Fraze: But there's not a switch for it, like Bea: Yeah Bea: that makes sense Fraze: I'm sorry, you know Bea: Forget I said it, but actually Bea: not passive aggressive bullshit Bea: nothing's that easy, I know that Fraze: I don't wanna Fraze: I want it to be that easy Bea: I know Bea: just know that Bea: I'm never going to fight you for real Bea: because I could never hate you Fraze: You should know that you do make me feel different Fraze: No bullshit Bea: we've got each other's backs Bea: yeah Bea: always have, it's not got to be weird or new just 'cos Fraze: Exactly Fraze: Nothing's changed Fraze: I meant what I said, I liked you before I even gave a shit about other girls Fraze: & I ain't gonna be a better person 'cause I can't that's bullshit, but I don't have to be the same cunt I am with everybody else Fraze: 'Cause you're better than them, I already said it Bea: I know Bea: we aren't just doing this because Bea: all the reasons people can think of that we shouldn't Bea: I wanted to be with you then, I still do but more Bea: and I don't want you to be a better person Bea: We're fucked up together yeah Fraze: I ain't never shared my lunch with any other fucker Fraze: I made my mind up then so people can think what they want Fraze: Nobody's taking you away from me Fraze: It's always been me & you Bea: Yeah Bea: I feel it too Fraze: [Finally appears and makes a come on gesture] Bea: [when your 😍 are huge like 'scuse me fam nothing to see here] Fraze: [when you basically running so you can be out of sight of everyone not soz bye fam] Bea: [when you basically have to jump him to initiate a kiss as soon as you can] Fraze: [when you literally don't give a fuck that any of the neighbours might see you because nobody else exists rn again not soz] Bea: [when you keep saying 'me and you' between kisses 'cos basically ily but not] Fraze: [adding the always in because real & such a declaration but one he can get away with] Bea: [hope it ain't raining today 'cos you got time to kill 'fore you can shamelessly use your friend's house, not that they care lbr] Fraze: [Let's imagine one of the neighbour's fences has a loose panel that they can fit through that he obvs knows about cos sneaky bitch who's been in there before so they can have a bit of privacy until they have somewhere to go] Bea: [just joking like 'this is where you bring all your bitches, yeah?'] Fraze: [is 😏] Bea: [cuffs his head but she'd really have to reach lmao] Fraze: [lols and picks her up like if you wanna have another go] Bea: [aggressive kissing] Fraze: [obvs into it] Bea: [when you debating on giving him hickeys but probs not so stick to biting his lips like] Fraze: [like you can as long as he don't give you any as well lol 'cause not subtle] Bea: [when you're insatiable] Fraze: [Can't even shade because I can't even imagine wanting something for as long as they have and yet still being so young and dramatic] Bea: [we know how this day gonna go can probably leave 'em to it Fraze: [True cos we all know what's up and this is gonna be long anyway]

[punkscowardschampions]

Jimmy & Janis

Jimmy: 💀💀💀 Jimmy: it's your turn to bust in & save me, you know Jimmy: cashing in that chip Janis: 🤔 what lesson you in and what teach you got first Jimmy: 🥖🧀🍷 Jimmy: bit of a clue Janis: you having a really boujee lunch without me Janis: rude Janis: especially after you ripped the piss for my 🍱 Jimmy: you & emojis! Jimmy: 🐸🐌 Jimmy: we getting anywhere? Janis: I know what lesson you in Janis: if I burst in there she might actually 💀 Janis: not starting the crime spree there Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: she might not even hear you Jimmy: but don't tell your brother I'm making deaf jokes Janis: 😂 Janis: definitely will Janis: bitch about you in sign Janis: is it true she falls asleep during lessons or what? Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: 🤞 today's one of 'em Janis: 'least you won't have to do any work Jimmy: soon as she's out so am I Jimmy: meet me Janis: do my best Janis: not got a geriatric teacher sadly Jimmy: you only walk out when you're 💔 then? Jimmy: hang on, I'll get Pete on the line to do his worst Janis: umm firstly, he would NEVER Janis: secondly, shut up Jimmy: it ain't my fault you put such flattering #content of me on the 'gram Jimmy: & got him all 😍😍😍 Janis: 😏 you went out like that Janis: know you wanted everyone to see, slag Jimmy: you know me so well Jimmy: 💕 Janis: unfortunately Janis: 💕 Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: blasting that classic FM for you right now, don't worry Janis: might wake her up Janis: #childhoodbops Jimmy: how did she just hear me laugh Jimmy: she ain't heard nowt else Janis: saw the post too Janis: everyone 👀 you today, babe Jimmy: my new boy status star is fading, babe Jimmy: gotta keep my #appeal 🥇 Jimmy: so tah for the boost Janis: that was the deal Janis: or was it my #appeal Jimmy: all yours babe Jimmy: your appeal & my protection was basically the deal Janis: Blame your leg on someone else then Janis: or I'm 👎 and can't have that Jimmy: that was my own fault Jimmy: & that's not what I need you for Jimmy: Mia & co aren't coming to kneecap me Jimmy: 🐍 only Janis: 😂 Janis: doesn't she take french? Jimmy: do you wanna say hello? Janis: *bonjour Janis: but non Janis: maybe I will come and 👀 her Jimmy: I get it, you're over me Jimmy: bit rude but Jimmy: if I can't keep up, I can't keep up Janis: like she can Janis: one hair flip away from a heart attack Janis: jus' sayin', don't be taking her up on practicing oral thank you Jimmy: stop making me laugh Jimmy: she's looking at me right now like she wants to do target practice though 👍 Jimmy: 🥇 without being in the room, girl Janis: 💕 so real Jimmy: you coming to see me then? Janis: hmm Janis: tempting Janis: maybe Jimmy: go on Jimmy: I miss you Janis: I miss you too Janis: this lesson is so dry Jimmy: she's got us playing bingo so she'll 🥇 when she goes out later Jimmy: 💕👵 Jimmy: practice makes perfect, Ms Janis: love that for her Janis: reckon she'll believe it if I come tell her you're needed for something? Jimmy: I don't care if she does or not Jimmy: I need you for something Janis: yeah? Jimmy: yeah Janis: hang on then Janis: lemme convince this bitch Imma die if I don't go to the bathroom rn Jimmy: easy Janis: tbf easier for me Janis: want me to bleed all over your classroom babe or what Jimmy: just don't start a pregnancy rumor Jimmy: my dad would actually kill me Janis: eurgh Janis: don't Janis: everyone expects it anyway it's fucking rude Jimmy: this once I promise not to give the fans what they want Janis: 💕 Janis: good 🍀 getting past my watertight contraception boy Jimmy: challenge not accepted Jimmy: again only this once Janis: 👍 answer Jimmy: change the subject or get here faster 'cause not a turn on Jimmy: & I really wanna give you what you want & Mia what she don't Jimmy: 💕 Janis: I have to come in? Janis: 😳 Jimmy: was that not the plan? Jimmy: you asked me if she took french Janis: you think this is actually about Mia? Jimmy: it's about us Jimmy: but she's here, they all are Janis: poor boy Janis: have to sit up the front like a 🤓 to stay safe, yeah? Jimmy: you wish Jimmy: I'm at the back Jimmy: you only need one foot in the door Janis: I'm convinced you can stop Janis: also en route Jimmy: you know how hard it is for me to stop once I've got going Janis: shh Janis: we'll see won't we Jimmy: they'll see Jimmy: you'll feel it Janis: Boy Janis: exactly how much of a show do you wanna give here Janis: be careful Jimmy: if you wanna back out Jimmy: just turn around Jimmy: but I weren't gonna fuck you in front of 'em all Jimmy: I don't reckon the teacher's that blind yet Janis: shut up Janis: when have I ever Jimmy: first time for owt Jimmy: & it sounded like you were gonna Janis: nah Janis: what, like I'm scared of them Jimmy: I know you ain't Jimmy: been proven loads Janis: and I defs ain't scared of your teacher so Jimmy: come on then Janis: Bitch I'm walking Janis: was in the science block Jimmy: what kind of athlete Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: one that had a proper run yesterday Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: if you wanna get your head down, Ms will probably spoon you for a bit Janis: your type not mine Janis: but go off Janis: it's room 26, right? Jimmy: your type is dickheads & she is Jimmy: 👍 Janis: 😂 sure Janis: dream threesome ain't happening, deal with it Jimmy: 💔 me Jimmy: worst girlfriend ever you Janis: I know Janis: get ready to be 😒 Janis: [comes in] Jimmy: [looks at her like well what are you gonna do] Janis: [sits down on his desk like you better kiss me right now boy Jimmy: [does & it's everything so get your phones out everyone] Janis: [obvs she's getting kicked out can decide if he does too] Jimmy: [he does too deal with it Ian] Janis: you know Janis: we don't have to go Janis: she ain't gonna check Jimmy: fuck it then Jimmy: where do you wanna go? Janis: do you wanna leave leave or wait it out somewhere 'til next period Jimmy: I wanna leave but Jimmy: probably shouldn't Janis: yeah, my thoughts too Janis: if we don't show to seclusion, they ain't gonna know to tell him Janis: be 😇 the rest of the day, simple Jimmy: where now then? Janis: [genuine pondering] Janis: better walk and talk or we're gonna get busted Janis: gotta be an empty classroom or something Jimmy: we could just walk in the staff room like we belong Jimmy: all you need is ☕ breath Janis: 😂 Janis: don't make me laugh Janis: you are so bad at being stealth Jimmy: piss off am I Jimmy: 🏆💪 Janis: you just like the attention then, yeah? Jimmy: yeah Janis: [stops to kiss him some more just 'cos] Jimmy: you're Jimmy: not the worst girlfriend ever Janis: clawing it back Janis: 🏆💪 Jimmy: it's a start Janis: that's how it is Janis: okay Jimmy: [stops to kiss her even more just cos] Janis: damn Janis: please say you don't need a 🚬 first Jimmy: I need you Jimmy: I told you, I miss you Janis: okay then let's just go bathroom Janis: come on Jimmy: #sucharomantic Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: [but kisses her again cos love & agreement] Janis: turn around if you wanna back out Janis: [blows a kiss and starts heading towards nearest] Jimmy: [shakes his head affectionately in like a piss off type way] Jimmy: when have I ever? Janis: [skip them there 'cos how long would it take you know the drill] Jimmy: [pulls her in like when they woohoo in a cupboard on sims lol] Janis: ['keen'] Jimmy: [kisses her to shut her up but also 'cause he is] Janis: missed you Jimmy: [whispers in her ear that he missed her too] Janis: [giving him hickeys you're welcome fans] Jimmy: you really Jimmy: have missed me, yeah Janis: [makes strained 'mhm' noise 'cos yeah] Jimmy: good Janis: I want Jimmy: [tilts her head up for eye contact so he can look at her like what & just generally be hot af] Janis: ['you'] Janis: what did you need, you said you needed me Jimmy: [a really good make out for a while because] Janis: [😍 but being like 👂🤫 'cos someone walked in] Jimmy: [starts kissing her neck & doing his own hickeys cos little shit like that even though he heard the person too] Janis: you're such a dickhead oh my God Jimmy: alright, I'll stop Jimmy: [but goes harder instead cos rude] Janis: I can't be held accountable for my actions if you don't Janis: fair warning Jimmy: are you gonna hit me or fuck me Jimmy: I can't tell Janis: [is 😒 face but also holding in a lol] Janis: you can find out if you really want Jimmy: [kisses her grumpy little face like always] Janis: [person leaves] Janis: thank God Janis: would have been disgusting if they were taking a shit Jimmy: 😂 Janis: not that into you Janis: sorry not sorry Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: poor baby Janis: [back at it again] Jimmy: we should just stay here Jimmy: til someone does take a shit anyway Janis: sexy Jimmy: it ain't my fault you brought me here Jimmy: I was #teamstaffroom Janis: 🙄 Janis: couldn't do this in the staffroom Janis: [saucy behaviour] Jimmy: we could Janis: I mean we could start Janis: but they're not all that zoned out they're gonna let us finish, like Jimmy: let's find out some time Janis: okay Janis: any other bright ideas for me, boy? Jimmy: I'll let you know Jimmy: it's hard to think when you're this close to me Janis: we could get closer Jimmy: [pulls her closer & does some hickeys on the other side too cos enjoy fans] Janis: I'm gonna be covered Jimmy: do you want me to stop, for real Janis: [shakes head] Janis: never Janis: I want more Jimmy: [gives her more] Janis: [kicks the toilet seat down and sits him down] Jimmy: fuck Jimmy: you're really hot Janis: I just Janis: I've gotta Jimmy: do it Janis: [always on his lap girl] Jimmy: [kisses so he don't make all the noise already] Janis: you did promise Jimmy: [nods with all the eye contact how they do] Janis: we've got time Janis: we can just Jimmy: I don't care if we don't Jimmy: I'll make time for you Jimmy: any time Jimmy: loads of Janis: so cute Janis: [lots of kissing] Jimmy: it's you Jimmy: you're just Janis: show me Jimmy: [does obviously we know why we're here lads] Janis: [biting on his shoulder to be quiet 'cos difficile as the french would say] Jimmy: [but like that'd just make him wanna make more noise cos damn] Janis: [puts her hand over his mouth but in a lol shh you cutie way not a threatening one] Jimmy: [good timing cos someone comes in then haha] Janis: shit Janis: [lifts feet up so looks like just one person lol] Jimmy: just don't stop, alright Janis: what if they hear? Jimmy: what if they do Jimmy: they won't know it's us Jimmy: long as you don't scream my name Janis: [🙄] Janis: do my best, babe Jimmy: me too Jimmy: just don't remind me what yours is right now & we'll be 👍 Janis: oh shut up Janis: [goes harder 'cos that bitch like don't make it easy] Jimmy: oh Jimmy: shit Janis: you asked for that Jimmy: I want it Jimmy: I really Jimmy: fucking Janis: tell me Jimmy: I just Jimmy: I Janis: you want me to go slow like this Janis: is that right? Jimmy: baby Janis: Baby Jimmy: please Janis: [really goes for it 'cos duh soz whoever the fuck hope you don't interrupt] Jimmy: [is proving he can be stealth sometimes by not being loud af for once, well done boy] Janis: [again, not helpful, up in his ear telling him he's so good etc hush] Jimmy: [I'm just imagining whoever else is in there knowing what's up 100% and it's making me lol] Janis: Shit Janis: Jimmy Jimmy: I know Janis: I really do wanna say it though Jimmy: just whisper to me Jimmy: it's alright Janis: maybe you're better at being quiet Janis: just this once Jimmy: what was it you said? I'm clawing it back Jimmy: after yesterday Jimmy: gotta show you I'm still 🥇 Janis: you are Janis: to me Janis: for me Jimmy: [has to kiss her for a while because EMOTIONS] Janis: you're such a good kisser do it again Jimmy: [keeps kissing her so much] Janis: I still don't know how you make all of it feel so Jimmy: I love you Jimmy: that's how Janis: [has to kiss him 'cos same bitch] Jimmy: [okay but hear me out what if the bell rings] Janis: [😣] Janis: fuck sake Jimmy: it don't matter Jimmy: we have time Jimmy: you said Janis: you better think of a reason we're both late to maths then Janis: can't stay in here all period Jimmy: I want you to stay Jimmy: there's yours Jimmy: & I don't care Jimmy: that's mine Janis: You're Janis: [smiling appreciatively like] Janis: I love you Jimmy: show me Jimmy: then we'll go to maths Jimmy: maybe Janis: [does] Janis: feel it, baby? Jimmy: [tells her how much he does etc now that they are alone again] Janis: really gonna have to wear a skirt every day from now on Jimmy: are you mad about it? Janis: how could I be mad about this Janis: mad we can't just do this all day, sure Jimmy: we can Jimmy: who needs maths anyway Janis: teacher's a dick Janis: probably get sent straight out for being late Jimmy: good 'cause I ain't done any homework for him since I got here Jimmy: playing hard to get sir, soz Janis: [😂] Jimmy: you're so Jimmy: you should get sent out of every lesson for looking like that Jimmy: it's Janis: Sir probably isn't looking at me like you are Janis: 🤞 Jimmy: he better not be Jimmy: I'll knock him out Janis: not exactly competition is he, babe Jimmy: not the point Jimmy: you're my girlfriend Jimmy: [is doing the pulling her closer even though he can't thing again cos] Janis: [we know what it does when he says that] Jimmy: [is kissing her in a possessive manner excuse him] Janis: [living for it] Jimmy: [likewise] Janis: I'm Janis: I can't hold on Jimmy: let go Jimmy: I want you to Janis: you want me to cum Jimmy: I'm telling you to Janis: [does 'cos damn] Jimmy: [also does in like no time cos how hot that'd shamelessly be] Janis: well Jimmy: [is sorting his clothes out but halfheartedly cos giving her full eye contact] Jimmy: well Janis: [can't stop looking at him even though she's all 😳 too] Jimmy: [reaches & takes her hair down cos I assume it's up for school & he's that bitch like we see you boy just wanting to touch it & her] Janis: really Janis: it isn't obvious enough you just fucked my brains out, you gonna mess up my hair too Jimmy: [is just like 😏] Janis: you're a dickhead Janis: and we're so late Janis: [starts actually adjusting herself] Jimmy: [actually runs his fingers through her hair so it looks like a mood & then kisses her but in like a let's do this kind of way not a let's stay here forever way] Jimmy: so come on Janis: [hand-holding] Jimmy: [showing up at class like oh hey] Janis: [people aren't even gonna be coy about it it's that obvious so the teacher gonna be casually fuming at this disruption, no sitting next to each other lads] Jimmy: [Grace wants to kill herself cos casually also there hey girl] Janis: 👌 Jimmy: 👌 Janis: what's the general consensus then, are we gross or are we legends Janis: can only hear big mouth in my ear Jimmy: I'm a legend Jimmy: you're Janis: 👍 Janis: 'course I am Jimmy: I'll shut everyone up Jimmy: fuck this Janis: don't bother Janis: only make 'em worse Jimmy: but Janis: I don't care Jimmy: I know you don't Janis: plus sir is about to snap so now's probably not the time to show what a good boyfriend you are regardless Jimmy: I don't care about that dickhead Janis: do what you must Janis: but rise to it then it becomes a thing and they'll 100% get your Dad in and I'd rather not Jimmy: [is 😒 but doesn't do anything cos knows she's right] Janis: I hate everyone at this fucking School Jimmy: me too Jimmy: everyone in this town really Janis: yeah Janis: agreed Jimmy: [Grace gets herself excused from class cos can't hack it 👍 good stuff] Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: agreed Janis: probably have the day off tomorrow too Janis: and I fucking can't Jimmy: we can skip Jimmy: if you want Janis: show them it got to me? Janis: don't think so Janis: not her Jimmy: show them we've got better things to do Jimmy: that's what our feed is for Janis: probably not Janis: enough scandal to be getting on with Jimmy: alright Janis: [actually doing her work] Jimmy: [isn't and is doodling blatantly instead] Janis: what're you drawing Jimmy: nowt decent Janis: not exactly best circumstances for inspiration to strike Janis: reckon you'll be forgiven Jimmy: what are you on about? Jimmy: got my muse right here Jimmy: been really inspiring she has Janis: 🙄 Janis: you don't want that rep Jimmy: what Janis: the weird anime kids that draw fucking not even soft really softcore all over their books Jimmy: this bunch of dickheads wish Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: not sure that's what they're dying to see from you Janis: 📷boy Jimmy: are you pissed off at me Janis: why would I be Jimmy: that's why I'm asking Jimmy: I don't know Janis: I ain't Jimmy: 👍 Janis: this lesson can go fuck itself though Jimmy: that's every lesson Janis: wish I could just quit sometimes Jimmy: #relatable Janis: 😒 Jimmy: I reckon I will though Jimmy: it's shitter here than my old school Janis: be alright if you had mates Janis: which assumedly you did Jimmy: yeah Janis: all schools are the same Janis: even posh ones Jimmy: didn't have to learn paddy lingo in my old one though Jimmy: such bollocks Jimmy: what am I gonna do with a month's worth of that Janis: make us all laugh with your attempts idk Janis: it's stupid Jimmy: if my interview goes alright & they gimme the job I could leave Janis: is that what you wanna do forever Jimmy: nah but it'll do for now Janis: you'll need some kind of school shit Jimmy: probably but that's to worry about in a bit Janis: your dad would never let you anyway so Jimmy: what's he gonna do, actually murder me? Janis: kick you out, probably Janis: part time barista ain't paying no rent Jimmy: not when he needs me to raise the other two he won't Jimmy: & I'd go full time if I didn't have school obviously Jimmy: much as they'd let me Janis: 🤷 Janis: whatever Jimmy: what's your issue? Jimmy: nowt's whatever with you Janis: what am I meant to say Janis: it ain't happening Janis: so Janis: it is whatever Janis: idk why we're even chatting about it Jimmy: see the future can you? Jimmy: 👌 Janis: you can't just leave, they aren't even meant to hire you Janis: there's laws, you know Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: like I said Janis: 🤷 Jimmy: it ain't my fault everyone's chatting shit Jimmy: don't be a dickhead to me Janis: did I say it was Jimmy: stop acting like it is Jimmy: it don't matter what you say Janis: then why are we talking Jimmy: right now I don't know Janis: #relatable Jimmy: piss off Janis: only funny when you say it? Jimmy: it weren't funny then Janis: not particularly Janis: no Jimmy: just leave it out Jimmy: you've been a dickhead since we came in Janis: couldn't exactly carry on as we were so Janis: what do you expect me to do Jimmy: yeah we could've Jimmy: & I expect you to not treat me like I'm one of 'em Janis: [is 'working'] Jimmy: bollocks are you gonna ignore me now Janis: what Janis: I'm trying to focus so I don't have to focus on them, if you don't mind Jimmy: well I do mind Janis: well what then Jimmy: fuck's sake Jimmy: what did you think would Janis: I told you I don't care Jimmy: & I've told you loads that you're shit at pretending Janis: No I'm not Jimmy: you are Janis: nope Jimmy: stop Janis: why Janis: you wanted to talk now you don't Janis: make up your mind Jimmy: make up your mind Janis: I know my mind thank you very much Jimmy: then stop chatting shit & tell me what's on it Janis: seriously nothing but this worksheet Janis: they're just being loud that's all that's annoying about it Jimmy: [crumples up his worksheet & throws it from his seat to land in the bin cos over it] Jimmy: 👌👍 Janis: alright showoff Jimmy: [doesn't reply cos the teacher is having a word like] Janis: absolute joke Jimmy: it's on the CV for all teachers that Janis: 😒 Janis: it's bullshit Jimmy: #relatable Janis: for fuck sake Jimmy: reckon it might get funnier each time I do it Jimmy: worth a go Janis: what else are you doing Jimmy: nowt Jimmy: thinking about going for a 🚬 Jimmy: you coming? Janis: you know that ain't happening Jimmy: you ain't gotta come with but Janis: you're alright Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: 👋 Jimmy: [gets up & the teacher's like UM EXCUSE YOU & he's like 'I'm going for a 🚬 sir, you fancy it?' & off he struts oh boy no] Janis: thanks a lot Jimmy: you were invited Jimmy: can't do nowt more Janis: no 'cos you get to be a legend again and I'm stuck here getting shouted at on your behalf like it's anything to do with me Jimmy: like you said, it's bullshit Janis: like I said, thanks Jimmy: like I said, in a bit then Janis: prick Jimmy: you wanna blame me anyway Jimmy: now you can Jimmy: you're welcome Janis: oh fuck off Jimmy: bit late Jimmy: I'm off Janis: shut up Jimmy: you can't make me from there Jimmy: always telling you Janis: you are infuriating Jimmy: you are Janis: you Jimmy: you Janis: this is just fucking stupid Jimmy: stop then Jimmy: focus on your work Janis: don't be patronizing Jimmy: It's what you said you wanted Jimmy: so do it Janis: I said that's what I was doing not what I wanted Janis: we all wanna just walk away but you can't Janis: you're as bad as her Janis: not talking about either of you negatively are they Janis: no Janis: but you two pussy out and I'm still sat here Jimmy: I ain't her & it ain't my fault she did what she did Jimmy: any of it Janis: don't matter Janis: ain't here either are you Jimmy: you shut me out ages before I left Jimmy: so nah, I ain't Jimmy: 'cause you know who else does that, if we're making bollocks comparisons Janis: what are you even talking about Jimmy: like you said, don't matter Janis: why bother saying it then Janis: go on Jimmy: why bother saying owt Jimmy: this whole lesson Janis: 'cos I wanted to talk to you, fucking hell Janis: excuse me for being in a bad mood when literally everyone is chatting shit to my face Jimmy: but you don't care, yeah Janis: I don't care but that doesn't mean I don't wanna shut them up, like I said, it's noise I don't need Jimmy: I said I'd shut 'em up Janis: yeah and you end up looking great again, you can't lose Janis: whatever the fuck you do Janis: I can't win Janis: end of Jimmy: I'm not in a fucking competition against you Jimmy: I wanna help you Janis: I don't need help Jimmy: then what do you care if I'm there or not Jimmy: fuck Janis: forget it Jimmy: you forget it Jimmy: you say I can't lose like I give a shit about any of those dickheads Jimmy: you ask me if it's about Mia when it's literally always been Jimmy: my dad is gonna kick off whatever I do Jimmy: that's the end of Jimmy: for me Janis: it wasn't my idea Jimmy: like I said, go on & blame me Jimmy: whatever Janis: I'm saying I'm not trying to get you in trouble with your Dad so don't say it like I am when I'm literally trying to do the opposite and stop you from getting in more trouble Janis: why did you think I didn't wanna come, for fuck's sake Jimmy: & I'm saying I could be a perfect angel & it wouldn't change owt 'cause there's always something with him Jimmy: it's never gonna be enough Jimmy: or about you Janis: I ain't saying it's about me Jimmy: just leave it out Janis: fine Jimmy: 👍 Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: save it for your worksheet Jimmy: riveting stuff that Janis: finished Janis: weren't that hard Janis: should've just done it Jimmy: get it out the bin for me if you're that 💔 Janis: 🖕 funny Jimmy: I'm serious, nerd Janis: you're so mean Jimmy: you still take 🥇 though, it's alright Janis: piss off Jimmy: again, I'm serious Jimmy: brutal you Janis: No you ain't Janis: you're never serious Jimmy: bollocks am I not Janis: name a time Jimmy: I'm serious about you all the time Janis: ew Janis: gay Jimmy: only for 👴 & a certain barista 💕 Janis: always good to keep track Janis: tah Jimmy: 👍 Janis: who else you straight gay for then Jimmy: that keeps my 🍽 full Janis: 👍 Jimmy: why you gonna set me up or what? Janis: obviously not Janis: I said Janis: keeping track of it all Jimmy: alright nerd, calm down Janis: 🖕 hilarious Jimmy: yeah should've tweeted it Jimmy: 💔💔 Janis: got plenty of time Janis: doesn't take that long to finish a 🚬 Jimmy: if you're only having 1 Janis: 👍 Jimmy: 😘 Janis: don't think so Janis: not with that mouth Jimmy: bit rude Janis: I am, apparently Jimmy: & you're also a bit late but Janis: ? Jimmy: there's nowhere my mouth ain't been on you by now, babe Janis: I meant now after however many you've just had and you know it, idiot Jimmy: you saying what you mean now? Janis: when was I not Jimmy: just keeping track Janis: 😑 Janis: stop being so annoying Jimmy: take your own advice, dickhead Janis: you're the dickhead Jimmy: it's you Janis: we aren't doing this again Jimmy: not if you shut up Janis: why should I shut up? Jimmy: 'cause you're the one being a dickhead Janis: I am not I'm trying to talk to you Jimmy: you're trying to chat shit to me Jimmy: I don't want it Janis: rude Jimmy: yeah well I've got a very inspiring muse so Janis: stop it Jimmy: why? Jimmy: what do you wanna say? Jimmy: what are you gonna? Janis: why do I have to have something Janis: we can't just talk now Janis: alright Jimmy: not when it's just bollocks Jimmy: really talk to me Janis: I'm trying Jimmy: go on Janis: sorry, alright Jimmy: I'm sorry Jimmy: I shouldn't have walked out Jimmy: but Janis: don't blame you Jimmy: you should Jimmy: that was me Janis: I don't blame you for wanting to Jimmy: I do Jimmy: I fucked up Janis: no Janis: why Jimmy: I left you in there Jimmy: that's not Janis: it isn't like there's anything you can do Janis: or need to do Jimmy: I'm not having that Jimmy: just accepting that they're all dickheads to you Jimmy: I'm not your sister Janis: well this ain't just me, it'd be the same if it was any other girl yeah Janis: it ain't personal Jimmy: what they are saying is Jimmy: loads of it Janis: well what do they know Jimmy: they don't know you Jimmy: but I do & I'm sorry I was a massive dickhead, alright Janis: me too Janis: it's fine, it's alright Jimmy: I really fucking hate this place Janis: I know Janis: I do too Jimmy: let's just leave Jimmy: you've done it before Jimmy: you know how to Janis: what about the kids Jimmy: there's nowt I can say to that Jimmy: am I meant to wait 10 more years until he's not a kid Janis: exactly Janis: it's shit Jimmy: I didn't ask for this Jimmy: I don't want it Jimmy: she got to just Jimmy: & Ian's doing what? Janis: Yep Janis: if you gave less of a shit you could but Janis: I know you do Jimmy: how do you do it? Janis: it's different Janis: no one needs me, remember Jimmy: but that's bollocks Jimmy: I've met 'em Jimmy: they do Janis: nah, my parents have got plenty of kids and my silblings have got plenty of siblings Jimmy: it don't matter Jimmy: I've seen they give a shit Jimmy: so how do you not? Janis: it's not real Jimmy: what Janis: they just fake it too Janis: obligation, isn't it Jimmy: wish my dad had some of that Jimmy: or my mum did Janis: seems like he has some Janis: with the kids Jimmy: maybe Janis: it's all bullshit anyway Janis: family Jimmy: yeah Janis: but kids are different so you have to care Janis: like you said, what's Ian doing Jimmy: buying us a dog we don't want to gimme more bullshit to take care of Jimmy: that's his lot Jimmy: oh and fucking his way to finding us a new mum, can't forget that one Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: must be nice Jimmy: if you're into fucking middle aged women, probably Janis: eurgh Jimmy: waiting to see who he's got his eye on at parent teacher night Janis: actually making me feel ill Jimmy: don't throw up Jimmy: you've disgraced yourself enough for one school day Janis: win Mia 'round Janis: my goal always, obviously Jimmy: borrow her toothbrush or whatever she's got stashed Jimmy: #bonding Janis: 👍 Jimmy: just warn me so I don't watch it on her story Jimmy: tah Janis: I think we're not meant to know so Janis: probably on the secret finsta if anything, you're fine Jimmy: 💔 #purgepals could've really taken off Janis: we're all gutted me and her will never be Jimmy: one day we'll find the shrine Jimmy: & I'll be ready 📷 Janis: thanks for the #expose Jimmy: any time Janis: I'm such an idiot Jimmy: ? Janis: this whole mess Janis: sir said he's gonna talk to our parents so Janis: that won't be mortifying at all, tah everyone Jimmy: It's my fault, baby Janis: they wouldn't stop either he was already way more annoyed than he was letting on Jimmy: yeah but I started it by making you come into french Jimmy: & making us late for maths then Janis: I wanted to too Janis: I shouldn't have, sure but not like you forced me Jimmy: what's he even gonna say Jimmy: fucking hell Janis: I don't fucking know Janis: probably that he's concerned or some shit Jimmy: buckle in Ian & get your belt off ready to kick off Jimmy: it'd be so much more decent if he used his anger on sir instead Jimmy: 🍿 Janis: right Janis: this is gonna be Janis: shit Jimmy: or if they fell in love 'cause of the blatant #nohomo fueling their rage but Janis: don't think you want two dickhead dads Janis: not the dream Jimmy: I don't want a new mum either Jimmy: given up wishing far as he goes Janis: tell him he ain't allowed a girlfriend if you ain't Janis: see how that goes down Jimmy: that's why you're 🥇 Janis: was it really such a bad thing to do Jimmy: depends who you're asking Janis: you Jimmy: you know what my answer is Janis: i mean Janis: would your ex do that, would other girls Jimmy: my ex has done worse & he's called Barry so Jimmy: probably don't hold her up as an example Janis: great Jimmy: other girls would & have Jimmy: they just aren't as #goals as us so nobody cares Janis: it's exhausting Jimmy: put your head on the desk, girl Jimmy: how much more trouble can we get in Janis: may as well go home at this point Jimmy: I might Jimmy: unless you tell me to stay Janis: not going to make you Jimmy: but what do you want Janis: it's complicated Janis: I don't want to stay but I have to Janis: you know I always want to be with you Jimmy: if you have to stay then I'm staying Jimmy: with you Janis: I'm sorry Jimmy: I'm never sorry that I wanna be around you, alright Janis: yeah but sorry you have to be here still Jimmy: I'd do worse for you Jimmy: you know Janis: I know Janis: swear to God Janis: not always this much of a fucking trial Janis: well Janis: maybe Janis: idk Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: I love you Jimmy: so I don't care Janis: Promise Jimmy: I do Janis: I love you too Jimmy: you can tell me again when the teachers are done keeping us apart Jimmy: & making us even more #goals Janis: you're probably getting sent to seclusion Janis: so I really don't mind if you go, I swear Jimmy: I said I won't Jimmy: & I meant it Janis: okay Janis: might get sent out too Janis: can't send all of them out, can they really Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: we should go out tonight Jimmy: wherever you want Janis: sounds good Janis: 'til we can run away, like Jimmy: your mum & dad ain't gonna ban me, are they? 'cause I reckon it's better if I follow your lead & don't go to mine Janis: lol they can try Janis: when you elope at 15 and have a kid at 16 not really got a leg to stand on parenting wise Janis: why we're all so fucked, obvs Jimmy: it's weird they've been together since then Janis: I know Janis: think, well know because they're gross, that they still got to fuck around or it'd be mental Jimmy: I ain't gonna marry you or have a kid with you no matter how much the fans want it Jimmy: will fuck around though 👍 Janis: 😂 Janis: no you fucking ain't Jimmy: my dad would put me in the ground seriously Jimmy: only gonna approve of the last bit Janis: as much as I ain't arsed by you Janis: wouldn't wanna see you dead, like 💕 Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: say the nicest things you Janis: I know Janis: got a rep to maintain now Jimmy: I miss you Janis: Miss you too Jimmy: you gonna watch longingly as they drag me to seclusion then? Janis: obviously Janis: hold me back, sir Janis: really amp up the drama Jimmy: final kiss Jimmy: that'll make him a fan Janis: I wish Janis: I don't regret any of it, you know Jimmy: you don't have to wish Jimmy: like I said, how much more trouble can we get in Janis: this lesson is about to end so Janis: where are you Jimmy: I'll meet you on your way out Jimmy: hang on Janis: 👍 Janis: #goals Janis: gonna carry my books like Jimmy: carry you out of this shithole more like Janis: would be Janis: alas Jimmy: 💔💔 Janis: damn compulsory schooling Jimmy: who's fucking idea was that? Jimmy: leave me down a mine Janis: 😂 Janis: life expectancy be even shiter but you'd be looking 🔥 Jimmy: die how I've lived 💪😎 Janis: 😏 Jimmy: can you feel how close by I am? #realgoals Janis: again, I wish Janis: not soz everyone Jimmy: I can burst in now for one final show if you like Jimmy: I'm basically there Janis: fuck it Janis: make it worth our while Jimmy: challenge accepted Jimmy: [is & is glorious fuck you everyone you ain't seen nothing til you've seen this good day] Janis: [let's say she gets sent home anyway and he has half-day in seclusion 'cos teachers are shit like that] Jimmy: [later cos no phone for Jimothy] Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: where am I meeting you then? Janis: can you bring the dog and come park for a bit Janis: literally been stuck in my room all day 'cos she was here too Jimmy: alright, Juliet Jimmy: Cass might bring the boy too but Janis: s'alright Janis: don't hate him by default like you Jimmy: 👌 Janis: how many times did you wanna kill yourself then Jimmy: 💀💀💀💀💀 Jimmy: bout that many Jimmy: I thought about you loads though Jimmy: 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 Jimmy: that's my maths for the day like Janis: such a nerd Janis: hand that in and reckon you'll have redeemed yourself, babe Jimmy: back at 🥇 yeah Janis: not sure sir was ever that 😍 himself Janis: soz 💔 Janis: know he's your type and everything but Jimmy: why he's 🍋 bout you babe Jimmy: #goals for all not just the few Janis: you're cute, sure Janis: but not 🤓 enough for him Jimmy: I know Jimmy: just for you Jimmy: 💔 Janis: shut up Janis: I'm #goals too don't be fooled Jimmy: I ain't ever been Janis: good Janis: my DMs have never been so active Janis: fucking sly Janis: where was this #support earlier lads Jimmy: as soon as I got my phone back I wanted to turn it back off Jimmy: lasses please calm yourselves Janis: people are so Janis: can't even think of a word Jimmy: I don't know how they can be like oh Jimmy I'd never do that she's so Jimmy: but do you wanna get with me though Jimmy: & do what girl? Jimmy: our homework Janis: if you got better ideas, where were you earlier Janis: 🙄 Janis: woulda done a twitter poll if I knew the engagement would be this good Jimmy: gutted I never 💔💔 Jimmy: & I got a lass in my inbox doing an anti smoking campaign Jimmy: not joking Janis: 😂 Janis: gonna save you in all the ways, boy Janis: 🍀 you Jimmy: bit late love but crack on Jimmy: she ain't even said I should put summat else in my mouth Jimmy: come on Jimmy: it's easy Janis: eww Janis: who is it Janis: gonna sniper message 'em all like I'VE SEEN THE MESSAGES HOES Janis: really #goals Janis: #wwmd #tbh Jimmy: paddy name & face Jimmy: actually can't read it Janis: could be anyone Jimmy: [sends her the deets cos that bitch] Jimmy: who the fuck is she Jimmy: never seen her before in me life Janis: oh her Janis: she's in my biology class Janis: dark horse Janis: more of a virgin than me Jimmy: is that my rep now? Jimmy: bit rude Jimmy: not gonna go round giving 'em all a decent go over Janis: 😑 Janis: can you not Janis: that was not my rep Jimmy: I'm only pissing about Jimmy: you got nowt to worry about Jimmy: you're Janis: don't worry, don't need to give me pillow talk Jimmy: don't need to but Janis: carry on if you're feeling it Janis: I'll be a while but am omw Jimmy: been feeling it since our #goodbye earlier Janis: yeah Janis: actually sad to see you go Janis: don't tell Jimmy: bit late Jimmy: already let the 🐶 know Jimmy: soz Janis: she's like yeah right Janis: know she misses me, boy Jimmy: 🥊 her for you Janis: so romantic, so manly and tough Jimmy: so #goals Jimmy: 🥇🥇🥇 Janis: not gonna argue Janis: soz Twix Jimmy: she's 💔💔 Janis: she's goals too Janis: not sure who's got more fans but we don't need to go there Jimmy: it's you babe Jimmy: #1 Janis: you know exactly what to say to stroke my ego 💕 Jimmy: I'd have loads of time to think about it Jimmy: had* Jimmy: & I told you, my head's been full of you Janis: Me too, as it goes Janis: more privacy though, thankfully Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: bit rude Jimmy: they coulda gimme some of that tah Janis: poor baby Janis: probably thinking we'd had enough for one day Jimmy: but that's bollocks Jimmy: I ain't Jimmy: I want more Janis: Incouragable, you Janis: but I feel it Jimmy: you will Janis: Boy Jimmy: girl Janis: ugh Jimmy: what Janis: you Janis: you're Janis: well you know Jimmy: I know you are Jimmy: that's why I'm Janis: distracted Janis: that's what I am Jimmy: where though? Jimmy: if you're on the bus you know what to do Janis: 😳 Janis: I am Jimmy: is it the driver we know & love? Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: of course Janis: the universe just wants everyone to know today Jimmy: or wants you to feel better after all that shit Janis: very hippie of you Janis: don't think the universe gives a shit 'bout me, babe but you're cute Jimmy: alright, shut up Jimmy: then I want you to Jimmy: busted Janis: 💕 Jimmy: 😘 Janis: I've missed you Janis: loads Jimmy: yeah? Janis: yeah Janis: like you said Janis: when we said goodbye Janis: you were so Jimmy: you Jimmy: I forgot where we even were Janis: I know Janis: I coulda just Janis: don't even care Jimmy: you can do whatever you want now Jimmy: it don't matter Janis: not exactly what I want Janis: you're not here but Jimmy: when you get here though Jimmy: just let me know Janis: okay Jimmy: til then, we can make it work Jimmy: [sends her a fire sext cos throwback] Janis: Jesus Janis: you should sell those Janis: people would hire you Jimmy: put the word out for me Jimmy: put the word out for me, girl Jimmy: but not right now Janis: no Janis: I'm gonna just Janis: for now Jimmy: 💕 Janis: we can do whatever tonight, yeah? Jimmy: I said Jimmy: whatever you want Janis: whatever it is I just wanna be alone with you for a while Janis: how does it feel like forever ago now Jimmy: we can Jimmy: 'cause it was ages Janis: long fucking day right Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: thinking of taking up that girl on her 🚭 Jimmy: I'm 💀 Janis: no 😡 Janis: I'll help Jimmy: you offering to be my new addiction, baby Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Janis: 😏 duh Janis: idiot Jimmy: always gotta be 🥇 Jimmy: not enough to just be a muse Janis: you know I want it all Janis: not interested in sharing Jimmy: you know I want you to take it all Jimmy: like you said, it's been forever Janis: I Janis: now I don't know if I want this bus to speed up or slow down 'cos I'm really really enjoying missing you Jimmy: you've had ages to miss me Jimmy: I want you here Janis: tell me how bad Jimmy: I don't have words for it Jimmy: just Jimmy: really really really badly Janis: works for me Janis: try and encourage him to step on it, like Jimmy: please Janis: oh Janis: one more time Janis: for my encouragement Jimmy: baby please Janis: okay Janis: you could get me to do anything I swear Janis: how Janis: why Jimmy: you love me Janis: I do Janis: fuck sake Jimmy: I'll make it worth your while Jimmy: just like I did earlier Janis: you always do Janis: like I said, I should fucking hate you Jimmy: I hate you a bit Jimmy: it's alright Janis: show me Jimmy: okay Janis: 🥊 Jimmy: 💪🏆 Janis: might let you win Jimmy: I'm gonna win Jimmy: you'll see Janis: what does winner get Jimmy: what do you want? Janis: so I'm winning now Janis: 😏 Janis: so cocky one second ago Jimmy: shut up Jimmy: IF you did, what are you having Janis: you, first off Janis: then I'll have to get inventive Janis: let you know Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: don't think too hard 'cause I'll be 🥇 Janis: but it's fun Janis: you try Jimmy: you know I can't think when you're Jimmy: just Janis: think fast then Janis: 'fore I get there Jimmy: alright Janis: not against fighting dirty so Jimmy: 'course you ain't Jimmy: paddy rules is it Janis: dead honourable you Janis: 🙄 please Jimmy: you can get me to be if you keep saying that Jimmy: & owt else Jimmy: bit rude but Janis: baby Janis: how nice will you be? Jimmy: am I just getting the one please? Janis: have as many as you earn Janis: not just giving 'em away here Jimmy: there's your answer Jimmy: never backed off a challenge yet, have I? Janis: 🤔 Janis: trying to recall Jimmy: piss off Janis: just saying Janis: lots of challenges Jimmy: & I've done 'em Jimmy: don't be a dickhead Janis: I'm not Janis: I'm remembering shh Janis: leave me to my memories 👵 Jimmy: stop trying to turn me on with your memory loss Jimmy: 👵💕 Janis: know what you like baby Jimmy: prove it Janis: what do you think I've been doing this whole time Jimmy: what was it you said, I'm trying to recall Janis: you're such a dickhead Janis: keep my photographic evidence to myself then 👍 Jimmy: you can tweet it any time Jimmy: love a ban me Jimmy: 👍 Janis: oh yeah great idea, babe Janis: make myself even more popular Jimmy: that does gimme one though Jimmy: you should run my twitter for a bit Jimmy: how #goals that I trust you with all my passwords & access to my DMs Jimmy: the fans would be 😱😱😱 beside themselves Janis: 😏 how delusional that you trust me Janis: I'm down to make you regret it 😈 Jimmy: don't give a shit Jimmy: do your worst Janis: you're fun Janis: told you before Janis: also off the bus Janis: passing the CG 💔 Jimmy: gutted it's too late for me to carry you past Pete Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Janis: trying to sneaky see if he's in there but the windows are tinted as fuck why Jimmy: #moodlighting Jimmy: makes him look sexy 💕 Janis: don't tempt me to carry on faking my amnesia Janis: walk in, pretend he's you Jimmy: your real goal this whole time Jimmy: I get it Janis: playing the long game Jimmy: if you'd said that was why you needed me to fuck you senseless I'd have gone harder like Jimmy: I know you're a romantic Jimmy: get your man, sweetheart Janis: 😍 Janis: that's what I get if I win Jimmy: Pete? Jimmy: 💔 but alright Janis: yep Janis: how confident are you REALLY, boy? Jimmy: confident my boy will stay loyal to me Jimmy: he don't want you, girl, soz Janis: 😣 Janis: hate you Janis: that's so mean Jimmy: I hate you more, baby 💕 Janis: go away Janis: I'm 💔 Jimmy: come here Jimmy: I'll fix it Janis: promises promises Jimmy: if I break it you can break my 💔 too Janis: swear it's a deal Jimmy: it's a deal, Juliet Janis: okay we still gotta shake on it but I'll keep walking, stop crying Jimmy: bit late Jimmy: but I'll dry my eyes Janis: 💕 Janis: he's such a homewrecker and he don't even know it Janis: write a song about that, babe Jimmy: he don't care either, too 😎 Janis: ugh, stop talking bout him Janis: so distracting, honestly Janis: bitch tryna walk here Jimmy: tell me about it, I'm around kids Jimmy: how dare he be such a god among rockstars Jimmy: 🤤🤤 Janis: that's a rep no one needs Janis: best behaviour Jimmy: 👌 Janis: one scandal at a time Jimmy: promises promises Janis: oh 'cos it was my idea Janis: mhmm Jimmy: your fault Jimmy: you're just so Janis: amazing? Janis: yeah Janis: true Jimmy: alright, yeah Jimmy: if you want Jimmy: dickhead Janis: you weren't finishing the sentence ever Janis: thought I would Janis: #goals init Jimmy: I'll finish it Jimmy: like I said, come here Janis: You better already be there Janis: coming into view and I'll be fuming if you leave me waiting Jimmy: I've been here ages Jimmy: you're the one who lives in the middle of fuck all Janis: I've asked for my own place Janis: not that rich, appaz 💔 Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: tell it to Pete's sympathetic ear over ☕ Janis: he isn't friendzoning me thank you very much Janis: we fucking or nothing Jimmy: get some patience then Jimmy: cause I saw him first Jimmy: keep saying it Janis: fine one to talk Jimmy: I've been here ages Jimmy: told you Janis: I see how it is Janis: will wait months for him Janis: I've got about half an hour and you're mardy Jimmy: he's #special remember Jimmy: you said it Janis: oh yeah and I am just a MASSIVE slag so Janis: fair 'nuff Jimmy: shut up Janis: whatever Janis: going shop Janis: want anything Jimmy: what happened to coming into view Janis: remembered I need something Janis: if that's alright Jimmy: 👍 Janis: that's you're all good then or what Jimmy: I don't need nowt Janis: k Jimmy: do you want me to walk over? Janis: can do Janis: only getting smokes though so Jimmy: gimme a sec Janis: 👍 Jimmy: [appears after longer than a sec but still not very long 'cause not far] Janis: [loitering in the shop, nods like sup] Jimmy: [gives a look as if to say what kind of greeting is that before going over & kissing her 'cause extra like that] Janis: [gives him a look like 'oh so you like me now?' 'cos drama queen] Jimmy: what's that look for Janis: 😒 Janis: be nice Jimmy: what's it for? Jimmy: I have been nice, ain't I? Jimmy: [kisses her again but soft] Janis: [bites lip] Janis: Probably Janis: *her own Janis: I'm still in a mood Janis: I don't know why Jimmy: [gives her a long hug] Janis: [lets it happen for a while but isn't fully into it because mad at self] Janis: it's stupid, come on Jimmy: [shakes his head but takes her hand cos okay babe] Janis: [gets cigs and lighter 'cos wants her own] Janis: both kids with you? Jimmy: Cass has got the dog why you can't hear her #drama right now Jimmy: she's off in a bit though Jimmy: mates to see Janis: Oh good to know Janis: starting to feel #unloved here Janis: 👌 alright for some init Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: 🤞 she'll take the boy back first so I can avoid Ian as planned Janis: [kicks floor] Janis: probably called him at lunch, when they usually do it Jimmy: [shrugs but is obviously thinking about it & bothered] Janis: gotta think of a plan Janis: to not get in so much trouble whilst still doing what we wanna Jimmy: if what you wanna do is piss everyone off there's no way Janis: is that what you wanna do? Jimmy: it's what the deal was Jimmy: get their attention you also get his Janis: that's Janis: that isn't what it is Janis: [paying and leaving shop] Jimmy: when Janis: what do you mean Jimmy: when is that not been what it's about Janis: [is like um what the fuck] Janis: literally what Jimmy: not an answer Janis: I get it, you need someone to blame Janis: fine Jimmy: that ain't what I said or meant Janis: I know what you said Janis: yeah, just one big attention grab, all of this Janis: cool Jimmy: how is it not Janis: I don't need this Janis: [is walking off duh] Jimmy: talk to me Janis: Literally why would I want to Janis: no fucking audience, is there Jimmy: don't be a dickhead Janis: me Janis: seriously Janis: fuck off Jimmy: you Jimmy: seriously Jimmy: you can't get pissed off at me for this Janis: yes I fucking can Janis: you know what this is why are you even Janis: why would you say that shit Jimmy: 'cause you're chatting about changing the rules like it's ever been about just us Jimmy: loads of the shit we do is for them Janis: you're so fucked Jimmy: why 'cause I'm pointing about how & why this came about? Jimmy: why shit happens Jimmy: you wouldn't have come into french if they hadn't been there Janis: sure Jimmy: & you're gonna chat like them too now? Jimmy: you wanted 'em to react you can't be pissed off at 'em for doing exactly what you knew they would Jimmy: same as me & my dad Janis: I'm not pissed off at them Janis: and if you want what your Dad's got then that's your own shit to deal with isn't it Jimmy: 👍 Janis: fucking hell Jimmy: what Janis: play ignorant Janis: you know what Jimmy: you reckon I'm saying all this is fake or for their benefit Jimmy: I ain't & weren't Jimmy: so calm down Janis: do not tell me to calm down Janis: you don't get to say all that and then say that Jimmy: all what? Jimmy: all day you've been acting hard done by Jimmy: all I said is don't Janis: actually go away Jimmy: no Janis: I have no desire to clue you in if this is actually what you think so Jimmy: you had no desire to clue me in anyway Jimmy: that ain't my fault Jimmy: like you said, that's your own shit to deal with Janis: what, what do you wanna know so bad Janis: you're chatting total shit Jimmy: & you're not Jimmy: alright Janis: no, I'm not Jimmy: whatever Jimmy: have it like that Janis: I will Janis: we've clearly been having different conversations Jimmy: maybe Jimmy: hard to tell when you keep switching Janis: I've switched Janis: okay Janis: whatever, guess after three times this isn't so much switching as just what you do Jimmy: what are you on about? Jimmy: what the fuck have I done? Janis: you're doing it again Janis: right after Janis: I literally can't do this right now Jimmy: all I'm doing is trying to figure you out Jimmy: 'cause one sec you couldn't need to see me more & the next you're hanging round the shop for ages & couldn't give less of a fuck if I'm there or not Jimmy: & that's just right now Janis: I just wanted to get a fucking cigarette alright Jimmy: [gives her his, angrily] Jimmy: here Janis: [can't not take it but let's it burn for ages not smoking 'cos petty] Jimmy: this whole day you've been Jimmy: & I'm the dickhead for trying to talk to you about it Janis: Well excuse me for not wanting to talk when all you're doing is chatting shit on me Jimmy: excuse me for trying to get a fucking reaction Jimmy: 'cause it's like Jimmy: such bollocks by now Janis: you happy? Janis: good Jimmy: 👍 Janis: so pleased for you Jimmy: piss off Janis: gladly Janis: [bows and stamps out the finished cig like bye] Jimmy: fuck's sake Jimmy: so you can walk away from me again, yeah Jimmy: & I can't say or do nowt Janis: you haven't said enough yet? Jimmy: not an answer that Janis: not a question, was it Jimmy: don't do this Janis: you Janis: you did this Janis: but no Janis: why did I come all the way here Janis: 'cos I don't fucking see Mia about and that's the only reason I'd bother right Janis: you fucking Jimmy: I didn't say that Jimmy: or if I did I didn't mean it like Jimmy: fuck Jimmy: come on Janis: literally what you said Janis: and you kept repeating it so I know you meant it Jimmy: I said, don't act like she's not relevant Jimmy: that pissing her & my dad off isn't part of this Jimmy: that's all Janis: you reckon you don't need to do anything to piss your dad off Janis: but cool Janis: let me know next time what we're doing and I'll actually try Janis: instead of trying to not get you in more shit Janis: silly me Jimmy: just 'cause I don't have to do owt don't mean I don't want to Jimmy: I hate him, alright Janis: I know Jimmy: & I love you Jimmy: you know that Janis: do what you want but I've got no interest helping you get beat up Janis: and I'm not sorry about that Jimmy: It's not like I want that Jimmy: I just Janis: Me either so Jimmy: I don't know Jimmy: it proves something about him to me Jimmy: & about her too Janis: your Mum? Jimmy: why she's not here Janis: 'cos he's such a cunt Jimmy: it's a reason Jimmy: more than she gave me Janis: I thought it was the reason Jimmy: she was a cunt too though Jimmy: they were both just Janis: yeah and who wants to be with someone as shitty as themself Jimmy: I'm sorry Jimmy: come back Janis: I can't just Jimmy: please Janis: [does] Jimmy: what can I do? Jimmy: you know I will Janis: you Janis: I just wanted to see you Janis: why do you think I want attention Janis: tell me that Jimmy: I'm not saying you're Jimmy: it's just part of this now Jimmy: we can't undo it Jimmy: so we play up to it, still Janis: they're never going to just ignore me Janis: that's not going to happen Janis: it isn't about what I want it's just facts Jimmy: I know Janis: and for the record I wish they would Janis: I thought you knew that Jimmy: I do Jimmy: I'm that much of a dickhead Jimmy: it got away from me, what I said Jimmy: not* Janis: [just nods] Jimmy: everything I said, it weren't about you Jimmy: it was about me Janis: well that's a bit far fetched Jimmy: why Janis: because some of that shit was pretty personal Janis: I know when I'm being #attacked Jimmy: yeah but it's my fucking issue that I go off the deep end any time I think you're pulling away from me Jimmy: same as it's my issue that I want my dad to react differently every time but I also don't Jimmy: that one don't even make sense Janis: I didn't wanna talk shit about the whole Dad issue Janis: sorry Janis: I wasn't even trying to go there Jimmy: It's not your fault Jimmy: it's not your damage Jimmy: it's mine Jimmy: I always do this, you said it Janis: Alright Janis: there's plenty of shit I always do Janis: hardly blameless Jimmy: so can I fix this or what Janis: of course Janis: not null and voiding my catchphrase Janis: rude Jimmy: how then Janis: At least I know where you were coming from, what you were trying to say now Janis: that helps Jimmy: I'm never just trying to be a dickhead Jimmy: not to you Jimmy: there's a Jimmy: there's something Janis: Yeah Janis: I do know Janis: it just Janis: scares me Janis: I guess Janis: when you do that Jimmy: I'm sorry Jimmy: I don't mean to Jimmy: but I get scared I just Jimmy: it's the same with my dad, he hurts me, I hurt him back Janis: it makes sense Janis: its reactionary Janis: but why were you scared Jimmy: I thought you were pissed off with me Jimmy: I don't know Jimmy: that you didn't want me around Janis: that's all I want Janis: are we bad at this Jimmy: maybe Jimmy: but I don't wanna be having a go with anyone else so Janis: me either Jimmy: & I'm better with you than I was with my ex Jimmy: you can ask her she'll happily send that rant Janis: I'm good Janis: no better at #womenssolidarity Jimmy: [does a little lol] Jimmy: you are good Jimmy: & all I want too Jimmy: in case the memory loss is back after everything I just said Janis: [looks up] Janis: just say it's real Jimmy: It's the realest thing I've ever felt, alright Janis: alright Janis: [kiss] Jimmy: that's why I get scared all the time Jimmy: 'cause you matter & I'm too used to shit that don't Jimmy: or can't Janis: I remember Janis: I'm scared too Janis: for the record Janis: deny it if you tell Twix but Jimmy: [does another little lol] Jimmy: I won't Jimmy: fucked up enough for one day Janis: we both did Janis: it was the plan, regardless why Janis: [pulls his head in to rest on her shoulder] Jimmy: [stays like that for a bit but also says ILY out loud, but soft] Janis: [says it back into his hair like] Jimmy was timed out 2 days ago Jimmy joined the chat 2 days ago Jimmy: [goes for the kind of long hug he was going for earlier but it's closer & just more cos he's a clingy soft soul and he done fucked up] Janis: [does the trying to get closer but can't thing] Jimmy: [is still holding onto her for ages but also just doing little kisses wherever he can like] Janis: probably gotta move Janis: or your sister is gonna be fuming Jimmy: [shakes his head & carries on 'cause no chill] Jimmy: she usually is Janis: [😏 face, gives him a proper kiss for encouragement] Janis: we can do this at the park Jimmy: & you reckon you don't want her to be fuming Jimmy: [but handholding & walking] Janis: she might be so morally offended she has to take Bobby home Janis: always thinking, me Jimmy: top one, nerd 💕 Janis: I know Janis: wasted on that School Jimmy: this town Janis: [squeezes his hand] Jimmy: [more handholding & walking 'cause not far to the park you can do this lads] Janis: [and you're there, no stopping for a makeout sesh or anything well done yous, Bobby being like 'let's go to yours!' 'cos he loves it] Jimmy: [Twix trying to trip them both up 'cause she's an extra queen] Janis: [giving Twix the love she desires and deserves and pushing Bobby on the swing 'cos compromise] Jimmy: [is chatting to Cass cos big brother duties never end] Janis: [is looking at him with love] Jimmy: [is helping Cass with her bike chain or something cos shit bike am I right? but keeps looking over at her likewise] Jimmy: swap with me I can't fix this Janis: you just don't wanna get dirty 👸 Janis: but 👌 Jimmy: [kisses her on the swap over cos blatantly using that excuse too even though Cass is like 😒] Janis: [lols at Cass like 🤷 but wins it back by being more competent help] Jimmy: [Bobby is just chatting away about the Cali gaff while he's pushing him cos fave place ever excuse me while I sob like] Janis: [Cass having to give Twix love 'cos she's like why does no one love me please] Janis: can tell who hasn't trained that dog, like Jimmy: one job, babe Jimmy: sort it out Jimmy: so easily distracted you Jimmy: [looks at her in a very distracting way to prove his point] Janis: sabotage, that is Jimmy: what are you gonna do about it then? Janis: 🤔 Janis: Decisions, decisions Jimmy: [keeps looking at her while she's 'deciding' Janis: tell you when it's just you and me Jimmy: I'll remind you Janis: I'm not gonna forget Jimmy: memory loss gone is it Jimmy: 👍 Janis: you're gutted, I know Jimmy: 💔 me Jimmy: can't you tell Janis: I'll fix it Janis: 🛠 me Jimmy: I know what you are Janis: should I be worried? Jimmy: nah Janis: did sound a bit like you were threatening to #expose me so Jimmy: one sec away from a twitter blast at all times me Jimmy: but Janis: shouldn't be trusted with an @ you Jimmy: it'll be in your hands anyway remember Janis: oh yeah Janis: gonna use my powers for good, obvs Jimmy: [sends her the deets] Jimmy: go on Janis: ooh Janis: lemme think of a masterpiece Janis: not Pete, this shit doesn't just come natural 💔 Jimmy: it's okay you're the art, babe Janis: just spam my face Janis: you do enough of that, babe 😉 Jimmy: you complaining about being my muse now? Janis: nah Janis: complimenting how 💪 and 🎨 you are Jimmy: good save Janis: thanks Janis: natural reflexes Jimmy: #relatable Jimmy: 💪🏆 Janis: not that I'm a goalie, tah Jimmy: so what is your position? Janis: 😏 I don't play on the footie team anymore Janis: was not doing wonders for the gay thing Janis: I'm point guard and captain of 🏀 still though Jimmy: we can still play ⚽ though Jimmy: we're really popular it'll be easy to get a team together Jimmy: also how is that less gay? Janis: 1. as much as they say they DON'T wanna fuck you in the toilets, I don't think what they REALLY want is to play footie with you Janis: 2. rude, fuck you Janis: 3. but idk? 'cos I'm tall and black-ish it's allowed Jimmy: 😂 Janis: poor girls, think you're hitting 'em back in the DMs like 😍 and you're just like are you a decent centre back or nah Jimmy: when your next game then, gotta find some pom poms Jimmy: be 😍 myself Janis: 😒 can joke but you would be, I'm great Janis: next tuesday 👍 shave ur legs Jimmy: I'm serious about cheering you on Jimmy: 👌 prepare your own 😍 for how I look Janis: 😂 Jimmy: I'll get Pete to pen you a decent cheer Jimmy: not my 🎨 Janis: bet he's really anti organized sport Janis: looks the type Jimmy: you'll be his #exception though Jimmy: make him break all his rules Jimmy: 💕 Janis: how american teen drama Janis: i'm the jock, he's the misfit Jimmy: the #goals by which all are measured Jimmy: 🥇 baby Jimmy: I'm the popular lad you should be with but you're too much of a dickhead to see it Jimmy: 💔 Janis: You ain't like the others, are you babe? Janis: so tragic Jimmy: I'm #sensitive Jimmy: & you're missing out, girl Jimmy: be nice & go through my DMs to find your replacement before you bag Pete, yeah Janis: sure there's some nerd girl in here ready to show you what you're missing Janis: full set then Jimmy: well chuffed with that for me Janis: calm your enthusiasm 'til I'm gone, thank you Janis: bloody rude Jimmy: but I have so much enthusiasm right now Janis: can feel it Janis: you've nearly tipped him out that swing Jimmy: come here Jimmy: feel it more Janis: okay, okay Janis: we can have a doomed love affair Jimmy: you've got the name for it, Juliet Jimmy: must be fate Janis: we can't change yours though it'll fuck with the couple name Jimmy: you said it suits me anyway Janis: yeah Janis: I like it Janis: readable, pronouncable, puts you ahead of half the class Jimmy: #paddyproblems Janis: #antisocialproblems Janis: really coulda learned them by now but you know Janis: better things Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [comes over finally 'cos gotta keep him waiting] Jimmy: [kisses her like it's been years instead of however many minutes calm down boy] Janis: 🤤 Janis: should make you miss me more Jimmy: not a challenge Jimmy: but it kinda sounds like a threat Jimmy: steady on Jimmy: not over the last 💔 Janis: we can just pretend then Janis: on this one thing Jimmy: [kisses her again cos he just wants to & has a lot of feelings] Jimmy: I have missed you Jimmy: I don't need to pretend Janis: Me too Janis: sorry I was so Janis: gone Jimmy: I get it Jimmy: everyone was really going some to be bigger dickheads than usual Janis: like you said though, what did I expect Janis: it's that, I just wanted to do it, it wasn't actually about them Jimmy: it don't make it alright, that's what I never said Jimmy: & I didn't have to make shit about them that weren't either Jimmy: 'cause I know Janis: I can handle them, it's when that's not the best thing to do I struggle Janis: when I can't just give 'em a smack or chew them out 'cos that just makes me look Janis: As long as you do Janis: I didn't even want to come in to French remember Jimmy: I really do Jimmy: I swear Jimmy: & it weren't about them for me either Jimmy: I just wanted to see you Janis: Yeah? Jimmy: you know you make everything less shit Jimmy: & french is like Jimmy: up there with the paddy lingo for shit I don't get or need Janis: don't they know your words are reserved for only me Janis: and in...some kind of english Jimmy: [does a lol] Janis: You're so pretty Janis: let's be mates Jimmy: why you always friendzoning me, mate? Jimmy: [kisses her again sorry everyone] Janis: you were never not my boyfriend, were you Jimmy: nah Jimmy: that's your issue then you wanna be BFFs? Jimmy: I'll get you a necklace, hang on Janis: #whenhebuysyoujewelry Jimmy: [is literally buying them on his phone as we speak the little shit so he can give it to her at school in a few days remind me] Jimmy: 💕 Janis: 🤓 Jimmy: shit at emojis you Jimmy: 😎 Janis: 🖕 Janis: oops Janis: my bad Janis: 👍 Jimmy: [is giving her a grumpy face but trying not to lol obvs] Janis: can we just stay in tonight Janis: not the best use of doing anything I want I know but Janis: kinda knackered Jimmy: yeah Janis: you don't mind? Jimmy: it's whatever you want Jimmy: I said Janis: well don't want you to be 😪 Jimmy: I wanna be with you Jimmy: nowt else Janis: that's alright then Janis: sick of other people today Jimmy: most #relatable you've been today Janis: it's a skill Janis: underrated one at that Jimmy: is there owt you can't do, girl? Janis: nope Jimmy: 👍 Janis: thanks for not coming back at me with a WELL Janis: not today, boy Jimmy: didn't fancy a smack Janis: you know I won't anyway Janis: also, the hitlist is pretty long today so smug to think you're 🥇 Jimmy: I am though Janis: Really? Janis: [playfight moment] Jimmy: [which then turns into kissing 'cause gotta distract her from him losing again] Janis: I love you Jimmy: can we be alone yet Jimmy: I just want Jimmy: it to be me & you Janis: I dunno, Cass is probably as keen to go so Janis: 🤞 ask for us Jimmy: what time is it? Maybe Ian'll bother to be home on time thinking he can bollock me for today Janis: it is like 6.30 now so Janis: time they're home Janis: she can text us and yay or nay, yeah? Jimmy: I'll send 'em off Jimmy: he'll be there Janis: when you're reliable in all the worst ways 💕 Jimmy: he takes #goals to a new level, he truly does Jimmy: [does send the kids & dog off cos literally not far & sits on a swing cos cool kid lol] Janis: wanna push? Jimmy: [pulls her into his lap instead 'cause she always sitting there & it's a mood] Janis: ain't done this in a while Jimmy: you're welcome then Janis: you ever try and swing over the top of the bar Jimmy: only every time Janis: good Janis: have to push you off for being lame otherwise Janis: whadya reckon we thought would happen though, honestly Jimmy: I don't reckon I thought about it Jimmy: I just remember my mum being like don't so I did Janis: 😎 Janis: sounds about right Jimmy: Cass always used to jump off Jimmy: still would if she weren't too 😎 for swings now Janis: 'Course Janis: my sister broke her ankle doing that, always weak after that Jimmy: sounds like the kind of bollocks my mum was chatting Jimmy: not summat that'd actually happen Janis: that kind of shit always happened to her Janis: casual cautionary tale for us all Jimmy: Bob's that kid too Jimmy: any remote chance of him falling off or onto some shit he will Janis: 🙄 Poor bub Janis: least it probably deters him from doing completely dumb shit Jimmy: could be my fault, first time he asked me how I got fucked up I told him I fell over Jimmy: loves to copy me so Janis: could be Janis: or he's just clumsy Jimmy: we'll go with that Jimmy: 👍 Janis: not gotta take on anything else, like Janis: though I did tell gracie it was her fault my brother was deaf so Janis: 🤷 Jimmy: was it? Janis: 😂 Janis: sadly not, the guilt trip of that would be 👌 Janis: he had meningitis Jimmy: not quick enough with the glass test, Grace Jimmy: sort it out Janis: [is loling] Jimmy: [is heart eyes cos she looks cute when] Janis: [pulls face like wot] Jimmy: [more kissing cos why not] Janis: [stroking his cheeks like ugh] Janis: it's rude to be this cute you know Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: you're really rude Jimmy: I know Janis: 😎 Janis: just a couple of cool kids Jimmy: thought I was a nerd Jimmy: make your mind up Janis: thought so but you did the swing thing too so you know Janis: retroactive cool points Jimmy: all it takes, yeah Jimmy: alriight Janis: no one out here saying how hard it is rn Janis: you should know Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: give you that Janis: [shoves him but not off 'cos they don't both need to fall] Jimmy: [looks at her like oi but is smirky] Janis: dickhead Janis: just 'cos I'm swinging with you still, don't think I like you Jimmy: I don't think you like me Jimmy: I think you love me Janis: 😑 Jimmy: deny it Jimmy: go on Janis: [is looking at him like challenging but obvs doesn't say anything] Jimmy: [tickles her 'cause he's a little shit] Jimmy: I said go on Janis: [only got yourself to blame for all this squirming boy] Jimmy: you hate me so much, yeah Janis: not gonna say what you want Janis: so nah, complete ambivalance Jimmy: [cue make out session] Jimmy: feels like it Jimmy: 👍 job Jimmy: got nowt from you then Janis: shut up Janis: you're a crap liar Jimmy: you want me to be a decent one? Janis: when are you lying to me actual Jimmy: I don't Janis: then it don't matter Jimmy: do you wanna go home? Janis: not really but I do wanna be alone with you Jimmy: we could ride the bus until the driver can't handle how horny he is Janis: 😂 Janis: making the most of this bus pass Jimmy: tips and tricks I learned from Doris in my CG days Jimmy: 👵💕 Janis: fuck being over 60 she's been riding for free for time, know what I'm sayin' Janis: 🤢 Jimmy: [does a lol] Janis: we can go back to mine though forreal Janis: gotta prove I don't need any audience Janis: not even a grumpy middle-aged man Jimmy: [kisses her really hard] Jimmy: you don't have to prove anything Jimmy: but Janis: but, you wanna Jimmy: I want you Jimmy: whoever's watching Jimmy: or not Janis: you know you got me Janis: how many times have I told you Jimmy: tell me some more Jimmy: fuck it just Jimmy: show me more Janis: [use that swing to your full advantage babe] Jimmy: [let's just give them a moment like] Janis: well fuck Jimmy: I Jimmy: agreed Janis: see why people buy these Janis: though where do you put it when you've got company Jimmy: depends if you want 'em to join or not I suppose Janis: k if I give you the signal you gotta go hide it 'cos not feeling it Jimmy: 👌 Janis: nothing worse than having to be like not with u tho soz x Jimmy: done that a load, have you? Janis: all the time Janis: when I'm entertaining Jimmy: tah for letting me know Jimmy: be ready for the invite now Janis: all hors d'oeuvre and swinging me Janis: 70s housewife Jimmy: what the fuck are they though? Jimmy: who was like yeah I'm gonna just Janis: 70s housewives, probably Janis: lot of free time Janis: strange ideas about food on cocktail sticks Jimmy: loads of drugs Jimmy: & blokes they wanted to fuck up with a cocktail stick to the eye Janis: 😂 or pass off on their friend with the hot husband Janis: like have fun Jimmy: nearly makes me wish I had a few mates Janis: well idk how we're gonna fill up our free time otherwise, babe Jimmy: better get that job & cut mine down then Janis: I'll get a fucking vallium prescription Janis: get someone else to impregnate me since you won't Jimmy: Pete will volunteer & get it done Jimmy: work of only an afternoon for a super stud like him Jimmy: 💕 Janis: look enough alike we can fool you/the world Janis: soz but if I don't have two kids driving me crazy this whole bit don't work Jimmy: piss off do I look like him Janis: 😂 Janis: take the compliment Jimmy: [is pouting] Janis: [forever gonna bite a pouty lip] Janis: you're actually better looking if we're being real but shh Janis: he's the love of all our lives Jimmy: hang on, I need my twitter back for a sec Jimmy: need to let him know Janis: so rude Janis: you can't start real beef over imaginary 😍 Jimmy: so what can I start? Jimmy: [kisses her cos saucy behavior is the answer] Janis: only if you intend to finish it too Jimmy: when have I ever not Janis: got me there Jimmy: I'll get you there, baby Jimmy: you know I will Janis: Please Jimmy: [can't resist a please as we know so just casually touching her RIP the school skirt she would have changed out of but still doing his best anyway what a trooper] Janis: [taking time to kiss every hickey she had previously made] Jimmy: that's Jimmy: how does it feel so Janis: 'cos the skin is sensitive Janis: even a little touch is Jimmy: [touching her everywhere that's sensitive too wink wonk] Janis: Jim Jimmy: ? Janis: [moves closer] Jimmy: [goes harder for her cos the love is real bitch] Janis: [When you can be lowkey loud 'cos who at this park rn] Jimmy: [kissing her everywhere but not on the mouth cos wanna hear that lol] Janis: I want you so much Jimmy: [says her name out loud as he continues cos same] Janis: you remembered Jimmy: you're being very inspiring so Janis: you Janis: you know I can feel you like this Jimmy: [moves so she can feel that] Jimmy: yeah Janis: ['Baby'] Jimmy: [does it again but more] Janis: I want that Janis: but more Jimmy: [isn't gonna refuse cos no chill oh boy how are you getting away with this rn & always] Janis: God Janis: that's Jimmy: I know Janis: I missed you Janis: like this Jimmy: I missed you too, baby Janis: how was the bathroom even the same day as now Jimmy: it literally feels like weeks ago Jimmy: & I've never felt this much like Janis: It was a joke but if we couldn't, if you left Janis: I think I'd have actual withdrawals Jimmy: I get it Jimmy: I did feel like I was 💀 without you in french Jimmy: seriously Janis: I know Janis: it makes the day go even slower Jimmy: you're in my head constantly Jimmy: it was a 🚭 joke but can't get enough of you Jimmy: [goes harder cos true] Janis: then we don't ever have to stop Janis: fuck me forever Jimmy: [so many kisses cos that's a yes from him] Janis: this would be so shit with anyone else, wouldn't it Jimmy: yeah Janis: I believe you Janis: but don't need to, I just know it would be Jimmy: not to keep #dragging my ex when you don't even know her but Jimmy: everything was different Jimmy: & not 👍 different Jimmy: you know Janis: yeah Janis: I know I never but Janis: the stuff I did was Janis: well I felt nothing but even the way other people chat about it Janis: doesn't sound like this ever Jimmy: & it's not just this Jimmy: I couldn't chat to her like we do Jimmy: anyone Janis: me either Janis: even before Jimmy: she knew things 'cause she was there for them but Jimmy: she never asked me nowt about it Jimmy: how I felt about anything Jimmy: you just Janis: sounds like she had her own shit but still Janis: everyone's always too afraid to ask Janis: or just don't give a shit Jimmy: you do too Jimmy: but I don't know Jimmy: you don't shut up until it's real, do you Jimmy: so Janis: what do you mean Jimmy: I can't just get away with pretending shit Jimmy: even when that was literally the plan & the deal Jimmy: you were like Jimmy: you get it Janis: I know I probably should have let you Janis: but Janis: I mean obviously I don't regret it with you, us Janis: but I can't stand bullshit from anyone Janis: and there's so much of it, from everyone, all the time Jimmy: & I told you I can't either Jimmy: I'm surrounded by bollocks Jimmy: work, home, school Janis: You get it, too Janis: it's constant Jimmy: & exhausting Jimmy: I'd rather give my energy to you Jimmy: that's nowt pointless Janis: I'll take it Janis: I wanna Jimmy: go on Janis: [kissing to slightly cover how hard they going now] Jimmy: fuck Jimmy: don't let me fall off & I won't let you Janis: okay baby Janis: but if we do end up on the floor it ain't the first time Jimmy: it'd be a softer landing than some Jimmy: but it feels so good like this Jimmy: we have to just Janis: match rhythm Jimmy: don't be a nerd about it, but Janis: piss off, this nerd is about to make you cum so Jimmy: [laughs but where's the lie] Janis: you kill me when you look like that Jimmy: like what Janis: when you laugh or smile or Janis: happy, I guess Janis: looks good on you Jimmy: [has to kiss her cos 1. same bitch but also 2. emotions] Jimmy: you look good on me Janis: glad you agree Janis: 'cos I ain't going anywhere right now thanks Jimmy: you're so fucking beautiful, Janis Jimmy: bit rude honestly Janis: [can't even look at him 'cos] Jimmy: [makes her look at him 'cause hot eye contact ftw] Jimmy: you are Jimmy: take the compliment Janis: fuck Jimmy: I know you can more than a few words, yeah Jimmy: so just Janis: You know what your words do to me though Jimmy: I feel it Jimmy: you Janis: the way you feel inside me Janis: I Janis: I can't even try to describe Jimmy: there ain't never gonna be words for this Jimmy: us Janis: don't need one Janis: just you Jimmy: you've got me Jimmy: forever you said Janis: yeah Janis: I just don't like to think about endings when it feels like this Jimmy: you don't have to Jimmy: but you need to end this Jimmy: right here Jimmy: or we'll 💀 Jimmy: probably get nabbed by the 👮 too eventually Janis: is 💕 such a crime, officer? Janis: [goes in though 'cos yes] Jimmy: [is being loud soz everyone] Janis: ['tell me baby'] Jimmy: [tells her that he really fucking loves her & needs her even more] Janis: [is trying to get closer, holding him tight against her and inside her, right in his ear as she cums] Jimmy: [is always trying to get closer forever too so DYING RN] Janis: how did that feel Jimmy: I Jimmy: 🥇 that's it Jimmy: all there is to say Janis: good enough for me Janis: fucking hell Janis: surprised if they couldn't hear that from yours Jimmy: really endear Ian to you that Janis: I wish you didn't have to go home Janis: ever Janis: to him Janis: the kids are fine, no offence babes Jimmy: I don't Jimmy: it's only ever to them Jimmy: for them Jimmy: whatever Janis: I know Janis: but Janis: meh Janis: [rests chin on his shoulder] Jimmy: he's called me loads since I sent 'em back Janis: had time to think of some killer lines and he's still gonna lead w 🥊 Janis: do better, Ian Jimmy: can I stay at yours for a bit Jimmy: it'll probably make him more fuming but Janis: Yeah Janis: any time Janis: but actually mean it, not a throwaway comment Jimmy: [kisses her cos he knows] Janis: [ily] Jimmy: we should go Jimmy: if you can move Janis: just glad I'm not wearing the skirt right now Jimmy: personally I'm gutted to see it go but Janis: it'll be back tomorrow morning but trust you don't wanna explain why I'm coming home with cum dripping down my legs any more than I do Jimmy: soz that I'm too northern for the paddy's #1 trusted pull out method we're all 💔💔 Janis: you're alright, every sperm is sacred and all that Janis: fucking clearly in this fam Janis: I'm the one gunning 'em down Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: tah for breaking the mold babe Jimmy: 💕 Janis: 🙇 Janis: some cunts gotta at some point Janis: actual joke Jimmy: I ain't gonna ask how many nieces & nephews you've already got Jimmy: dickheads at school have painted me a picture & it ain't 🎨 Janis: 🙄 don't honestly Janis: can't even blame them, that's the shitty thing Janis: like yeah lads, I agree but ain't my fault or problem so Jimmy: who's next, Gracie, your hippie brother or the dickhead one? Janis: hmm 🤔 Janis: Iggy would probably father a child and then just forget to tell us like oh yeah well we're raising it like a spartan so I just left it up top of the mountains so Janis: Pablo is defs a forcing an abortion on you man so he's got my back Jimmy: [lols] Janis: 😏 Jimmy: you said you'd been stuck in for ages, do you wanna walk? Jimmy: or bus it 'cause you're knackered Janis: you mean you aren't gonna carry me the whole way Janis: honeymoon is over 😉 Jimmy: [gives her a look like challenge accepted and picks her up playfully] Jimmy: 🏆💪 Janis: [kisses him whilst she's there 'cos cute nerds] Janis: let's walk, no rush is there Jimmy: [cue more kisses when he puts her down & handholding] Janis: I know it's not ideal rn but Janis: always like it when you stay Jimmy: It's alright, I know you ain't 🤞 that my dad'll bash me more often Jimmy: I get it Jimmy: & I like it when I stay too Janis: Good Janis: would like that on record at the very least Jimmy: I'll screenshot it, don't worry Jimmy: not one for twitter but Jimmy: 👍 Janis: no, no one gonna be 😍 Janis: maybe gracie like wow, basic human empathy who knew Jimmy: is she gonna be there? Janis: I assume so Janis: also her gaff, like Jimmy: what the fuck's the use of her being friends with Mia if she's never at her mansion 🙄 Jimmy: sort it out, Grace Janis: you know, easier to stalk me from ours Janis: doubt she'll be up for the massive slag-off sesh if she couldn't even hack one lesson Jimmy: least it means they won't be there too Jimmy: unless they're SO SORRY #duh Janis: 😏 Janis: take my apologies in the forms of cash only Jimmy: I'm gonna start charging every time she looks at me 🔪🔪🔪 Janis: #thathoelife Janis: gonna paywall my DMs tbh Jimmy: the most #relatable you've been so far Janis: make the most of having a twitter secretary, babe Jimmy: 😏 Janis: just go through ❌ the uggos and ✔ the maybes Jimmy: no 🐇🍳 like Janis: you'd love it Jimmy: been there, fucked that Jimmy: Barry was a right one Janis: 😂 Janis: I'm sure Janis: wasn't you crashing his wedding or anything Jimmy: his eyes were begging me to babe Jimmy: come on Janis: [is lol] Jimmy: who's wouldn't be if they're marrying a 16 year old Jimmy: run Barry run Janis: 😬 Janis: have her parents literally signed her off or what Jimmy: they did yeah Janis: that's fucked Janis: least my parents 'marriage' wasn't real Janis: nan still don't like dad so good luck with that 👍 Jimmy: are they not married proper by now then? Janis: yeah Janis: she didn't object at the vital moment Janis: 💔 Jimmy: gutted Jimmy: she can step up for Ian's next nuptials if she wants to get into heaven like a good 🍀 Janis: I done told you she's Scouse Janis: and definitely not getting in Janis: but I'll ask Janis: hire her services Janis: better at 🔪🔪🔪 than Mia Jimmy: tah Janis: I'll just show and that'll put him right off Jimmy: whose name are you gonna try & say anyway dad? 🤔 Jimmy: It don't matter I'll give our kid the 💍s to lose Janis: 😂 all middle aged women have the same like 10 names Janis: he's got an alright chance Jimmy: you cheerleading him now? 'cause you ain't borrowing my pom poms Jimmy: get your own Janis: No I in team, babe Jimmy: what's the team colours Jimmy: I wanna look 🔥 Janis: 💙 Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: suits me Janis: compliments your eyes Janis: probably Jimmy: [flutters his eyelashes at her cos nerd. Why do boys have such long beautiful ones bitch?] Janis: I hate you Jimmy: 💕 Janis: 😣 Jimmy: [kisses] Janis: You're Jimmy: a dickhead, yeah Jimmy: I know Jimmy: [more kisses cos why not] Janis: cute Janis: and pretty Janis: and everything else you hate being called Jimmy: so rude you Jimmy: [tickles her again] Janis: I will kick you now I'm not at risk of falling too you know Janis: be warned Jimmy: go on then Jimmy: don't be all mouth Janis: I'm fair, thank you Janis: touch me again and Jimmy: [does the thing where's he's hovering really close by not actually touching her cos little shit] Jimmy: and? Jimmy: [then leans in for a kiss but likewise stops short for the wind up] Janis: [😡 and a vaguely aggressive smooch] Jimmy: [tucks a strand of hair behind her ear really soft cos can't resist and also gotta win her round at all times] Janis: [kicks 'cos you know rules but not actually hard 'cos that'd be rude] Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Jimmy: ow Janis: Poor boy Janis: that's what you get though Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: [squishes his face like n'awh] Jimmy: you only done that 'cause you know I can't kick you back Jimmy: such a girl Janis: you can try it, babe Jimmy: [playfight again] Janis: never give up, do ya Jimmy: nah Jimmy: wouldn't be #goals Janis: [🙄 but not as done as that face is lmao] Jimmy: [cheek kiss cos cheeky] Janis: [rubs at it 'cos same but is also 😍] Janis: I'm not your nan, you know Jimmy: she's 💀 so that's good news Jimmy: [little make out session though] Janis: 😂 Janis: sexy Janis: got me in the mood that Jimmy: you're always in the mood Jimmy: what I like about you that Janis: obvs Janis: any time any place Janis: girl guides prepared me Jimmy: course you were in all them after school activities, rich girl Jimmy: 👸🐎 Janis: oh please Jimmy: bit late to deny it Jimmy: but go on Janis: 😒 Janis: yeah yeah coal for breakfast lunch n tea I know Jimmy: 🎅 came to ours to stock up for the bad kids Jimmy: thieving fucker Janis: 💔 should hear how he treats his elves Jimmy: Ian's true form that Jimmy: why he's such a mardy bastard Janis: [snorts attractive babe] Jimmy: did you mean what you said Janis: what bit? Jimmy: 🚭 Jimmy: girl guides prepare you for that too? Janis: 'course Janis: got the leaflets on me at all times Janis: do you wanna Janis: not whatserface, idc if you don't Jimmy: I don't wanna read any leaflets or slide into that ginger's DM's Jimmy: but like Janis: sure Jimmy: it's your fault Jimmy: so Janis: wearing you out? Jimmy: piss off no Jimmy: needing me to live long enough to rescue you from your shit marriage to Pete Jimmy: already gonna have to fight against my northern life expectancy to see it through Janis: you and weddings Janis: gonna have to have it in the bahamas or some shit Jimmy: alright rich girl, stop flexing Jimmy: fuck's sake Janis: jus sayin Janis: gonna splash the cash to protect my mans Janis: he's sensitive, tah Jimmy: his skin is, he'll burn up Jimmy: put applying factor 50 in the vows 'cause your only job Janis: 😂 Janis: so precious Janis: must protect 💪 Jimmy: I'll hit you up when my 👵 missus has 💀 Jimmy: might leave me enough cash that you're interested Janis: 😍 Janis: I'll be sure to pick up ☎ Jimmy: I'll send you a text, know they make you 😍 Janis: shut up Jimmy: you'd have to break my hands Jimmy: that'd 💔 you Janis: [😒😳 combo] Jimmy: [kissing her cos so cute whatever her face is doing] Janis: [deepens it 'cos] Jimmy: [little make out moment] Janis: I like you Janis: you're a dickhead and everything but Jimmy: I get it, you want me to keep my 👅 Janis: I get it, you wanna stop Janis: don't need to seduce me if you need the breather, babe Jimmy: I need nowt of the sort Jimmy: [kisses her again to prove it & cos he needs her lbr] Janis: [running her fingers through his hair and up and down his back] Jimmy: I don't want you to stop doing that though Janis: might make walking a bit difficult but Janis: do my best Jimmy: [picks her up like now you can still] Janis: [does] Janis: such a trooper, you Jimmy: [is kissing her neck on all her hickeys but soft] Janis: ['mm' noise] Janis: you're gonna drop me Jimmy: [shakes his head & says 'I promise' cos always] Janis: [holding on tighter but not 'cos she needs to] Jimmy: [more kisses but less soft] Janis: [swings down whilst kissing him and backs up into a wall, streetlight idk] Jimmy: [is 😍 cos how swag & kissing her harder] Janis: [tugging at his top to look for somehwere to give him a new hickey] Jimmy: [takes it off cos boy privilege & it's may so not gonna freeze to death] Janis: [is just looking at him like 😍 and stroking his chest 'cos damn] Jimmy: [gives her a look like ? for the 😍 even though he knows damn well but also looking at her like ! cos what you gonna do babe] Janis: [stroking turns to little scratches and then bigger scratches because frustrated as hell, biting and kissing as love as she can get away with in public but obviously not low enough] Janis: low* Jimmy: [is swearing quietly but obvs cos he's living for it not cos fuck you lol] Janis: ['do you have any idea how bad I want you right now?'] Jimmy: [is giving her a LOOK cos yeah he does & like pulls her off the path to try and find somewhere slightly less public like] Janis: [insatiable kids] Jimmy: [I hope there's like some bushes or something for their sake. How sims lol] Janis: Here Janis: here is fine Jimmy: [takes off her top so he can get his own back for before cos of course he would] Janis: [is 😱 shooketh but obvs not complaining or stopping him] Jimmy: [let him crack on with doing that to her for a bit just so she's even more frustrated lol] Janis: ['Jimmy'] Jimmy: [says her name too cos teasing little shit & he knows what it does] Janis: [pouting so hard] Janis: come on Jimmy: [bitey pouty lip thing forever but harder than he usually goes cos mood as she finally gets what she wants] Janis: ['ow' but make it a moan] Jimmy: [kiss it better but make it sexy] Janis: you're so Jimmy: you Janis: [shakes head] Jimmy: [says 'take the compliment' as per] Janis: [more kisses 'cos shh but also 'cos] Jimmy: [going harder at everything just cos] Janis: how many pleases is it gonna take? Jimmy: let's see Janis: [#1] Jimmy: [pulls her closer cos always and does love a please] Janis: [is pushing herself into him and #2 'cos more always] Jimmy: [is likewise pushing her against a tree or whatever] Janis: [wraps her legs around him 'cos always and they long enough bitch] Jimmy: [perks of having a tall girlfriend got him like 😍] Janis: third time's a charm? Jimmy: [just nods 'cause can't even speak] Janis: ['Baby, please' with all the emphasis] Jimmy: [obviously gives in cos how can he not & SO MUCH KISSING BITCH] Janis: I Jimmy: I know Janis: [ily] Jimmy: [says it back] Janis: you're fucking gorgeous Jimmy: you are Janis: shit Jimmy: [doing the trying to get closer thing again] Janis: [using her hands in his hair to move his face level with hers and having the hottest closest eye contact ever[ Jimmy: [loud enthusiastic response cos damn] Janis: how do we keep ending up here Jimmy: I don't Jimmy: know Jimmy: care Janis: same Janis: just Janis: make sure it keeps happening okay Jimmy: you too Jimmy: don't get shy, yeah Janis: [little lol like wut] Jimmy: [kisses because she's so cute when she's happy & I'll keep saying so goodbye] Janis: don't think anyone is accusing me of being shy right now Jimmy: make sure they don't ever Jimmy: all I'm saying Janis: calling me predictable right now, really Janis: [cuffs his head but kisses him too 'cos obvs playing] Jimmy: I'm not calling you nowt Jimmy: I just like how you are Janis: JUST as I am though? 😏 Jimmy: are you trying to start a fight right now, really Jimmy: [but kisses her again cos also playing] Janis: Just keeping it exciting for you, babe Jimmy: do you reckon this is boring? Janis: not a word that I'd use Janis: if I was capable of saying much more than fuck, your name and God's, rn Jimmy: gimme one you can Jimmy: just don't give your god no credit Janis: [saying his name 'cos duh] Jimmy: [goes harder as a result cos he's into her saying his name too & we know it] Janis: holy shit Janis: just like that, that's so Janis: you're so good Jimmy: [says 'you'] Janis: [kissing him 'cos people going past not that far away so shh lads] Jimmy: you always make me forget where we are Janis: that's what I want Jimmy: to be my escape, yeah, I ain't forgotten Janis: don't Janis: no one does it better than me, remember that Jimmy: you don't Jimmy: I'm taking you away from here too you know Janis: I do know Janis: swear Jimmy: just swear you'll come with me Jimmy: that's what I want Janis: of course I will Janis: why wouldn't I Janis: I hate everyone here but you so if you ain't here then why am I Jimmy: I love you Janis: I love you more Jimmy: shut up, you can't say that Janis: just did Janis: what you gonna do about it Jimmy: [goes harder than ever & is doing all her fave things cos if it's a competition like] Janis: [we know what gonna happen] Jimmy: [I hope nobody else is about cos soz] Janis: fucking hell boy Jimmy: 💕 Janis: don't look at me like that Jimmy: like what? Jimmy: [but is still doing it cos he knows] Janis: so smug and Janis: ugh Jimmy: just my face Jimmy: not doing nowt with it Janis: 😒 Janis: you know exactly what you're doing always Jimmy: what was it you said, I'm keeping things exciting Jimmy: that's what I'm doing Janis: you're making me fucking Janis: fall in love with you Janis: that's what you're doing Jimmy: you're already in love with me Jimmy: I'm making you stay Janis: more in love then Janis: somehow Jimmy: good Janis: mostly good Jimmy: where's the bad bit? Janis: it's just a bit...terrifying sometimes, don't you think Jimmy: it's only terrifying when you don't know where you stand Jimmy: & we do Jimmy: you ain't questions, you're answers Janis: yeah Jimmy: you don't gotta be scared of me, alright Janis: it's not like Janis: I don't know Janis: can't explain it Janis: it isn't anything you do though, trust me Jimmy: a bit Jimmy: but I'm not gonna fuck this up again Jimmy: not for ages at least Jimmy: gimme about a week Janis: it isn't Janis: it's actually a me problem Janis: but I'll hold you to that anyway Jimmy: problems you? nah I don't believe it, rich girl Jimmy: [but kisses her because so much love and seriousness actually] Janis: ain't you heard money can't solve 'em? Jimmy: that's the bollocks that gets said when you're crying on a yacht or whatever I'm sure Janis: 'course Janis: can't buy genuine wisdom either, soz Jimmy: life's shit but it'd be less shit for me if I had enough money to leave whenever it was worse than that Janis: money ain't the reason you can't go though Janis: that'd be an easy fix Jimmy: it's a reason though Janis: not the main one Janis: the real shit is always way more messy and complicated Jimmy: alright calm down, I ain't asking you to donate to my gofundme or owt Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: come on, we've got loads more walking to go Janis: alright Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [lights up 🚬] Jimmy: [steals it even though he said he was gonna 🚭] Janis: erm, wasn't for you Jimmy: don't be rude Jimmy: share with your boyfriend Janis: [takes it back] Janis: sharing means sharing Janis: you've nearly finished it Jimmy: that's your fault for walking so fast Janis: you that was in a hurry Jimmy: I only said we had ages left Jimmy: not that you had to run Janis: whatever Janis: just try to keep up Jimmy: I get it, you're such an athlete Jimmy: calm down Janis: shut up Janis: i'm not even you're being slow Jimmy: piss off am I Jimmy: you've got a rush on, girl Janis: it is a school night 🤓 Jimmy: don't remind me Janis: can't be any worse than usual 🤞 Jimmy: tomorrow's gonna be so shit Janis: cheery Janis: why Jimmy: 1. it's school 2. people are dickheads 3. my dad ain't stopped ringing me Janis: the first 2 are standard Jimmy: it's standard that it's shit too Jimmy: where've you been Janis: bunk then Janis: like you said, no avoiding how in the shit you are with him now Jimmy: like you said, if we do everyone will reckon they got to us Janis: not saying I can Janis: you could though Jimmy: not without you Jimmy: I already told you that Janis: alright Jimmy: 👌 Janis: then what can I do? Jimmy: you ain't gotta do owt Jimmy: how many times, shit's less shit just by you being about Janis: well I'll be there Jimmy: 👍 Janis: can we just Janis: stop Jimmy: here? Janis: I mean Janis: I don't even know why it's gone weird really but can we just not Jimmy: yeah Janis: or you could tell me why so I can do something about it Jimmy: so you're saying I'm making it weird Janis: I'm saying I don't know why it is so maybe you do Jimmy: I don't Jimmy: I'm knackered too maybe I'm being a dickhead Janis: That's alright then Janis: let's just crash Janis: long as it's nothing serious then it's all good Jimmy: come here for a sec Janis: [does] Janis: yeah? Jimmy: [hugs her] Janis: [hugs back] Janis: sorry, I know it's shit Jimmy: It's just Jimmy: If my dad wasn't such a fucking Jimmy: we could have been at mine no time after we left the park Janis: I know Janis: we should've got the bus Jimmy: could've have done all that on the bus though Jimmy: couldn't* Janis: well no Janis: but Jimmy: ? Janis: I'm just sorry baby Jimmy: it was good, yeah Jimmy: don't be Janis: I'm not sorry about that Janis: just that tomorrow is gonna be shit Janis: and I can't do shit for you Jimmy: but you can Jimmy: you're 🥇 Janis: I dunno Janis: wish I could actually throw money at this shit Jimmy: [kisses her like shh but also ILY] Jimmy: just be my girlfriend Jimmy: I don't wanna buy one of them Janis: [halfhearted lol] Janis: bit tragic Jimmy: bit too Ian Janis: [actual lol] Janis: I hope you just mean he's 💪 and spending too hard on his gfs Jimmy: well he ain't ordered one online yet as far as I know Jimmy: give him another failed marriage & maybe Janis: maybe he'll move to Thailand and leave you all behind Jimmy: fuck that we'll go with Jimmy: ditch him first chance we get babe, deal? Janis: deal Jimmy: [puts his hand out for her to shake cos nerd] Janis: [spits on hers 'cos gross and remember when] Jimmy: lovely you Jimmy: [but does it too obvs] Janis: you're the one that likes me Janis: weirdo Jimmy: insult me all you want now cos when we get there I'm selling the 🐶 Jimmy: let 'em make a meal out of her Janis: joke all YOU want but the fact you're even bringing her shows you luuuuurve her Jimmy: [is protesting but also trying not to lol so we see you boy] Janis: 👦💕🐶 Janis: the best of friends Jimmy: in your dreams, girl Janis: wildest, babe Janis: I'll draw the art this time Jimmy: what else is in there Jimmy: let me know Janis: maybe Jimmy: [gives her a look like oh only maybe okay then] Jimmy: what do I have to do to make it more than a maybe? Janis: get a good night sleep Janis: you said you're knackered Jimmy: challenge accepted then Jimmy: [but you can tell he's thinking like when the fuck did I last get one of them] Janis: [smooches him like I know] Janis: don't worry, I'll help Janis: I wanna tell you Jimmy: so go on Jimmy: [gestures for her to have a piggyback cos gotta exhaust him further lol no offense babe] Janis: tomorrow Janis: gotta get you through the day somehow Janis: [piggybacks tho] Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: [does a little run to be a show off but like actually be careful boy] Janis: [loling and 😍] Jimmy: [let's give them a piggyback moment for a fair while & distance well done boy] Janis: impressive Jimmy: sound more surprised about it, dickhead Jimmy: 🏆💪 me Janis: soz didn't know I was dating superman Janis: gimme a sec to swoon Jimmy: Clark Kent around the fans though, babe Janis: ohh that's why you're such a 🤓 Janis: just a cover, why didn't you say Jimmy: busted Jimmy: had to make sure I could trust you Janis: 😏 Janis: well I'm not gonna be that basic bitch but still, got your back Jimmy: tah girl Janis: Legit have a cousin called Lois Jimmy: 'course you do, nerd Jimmy: she got a sister called Penny? Janis: umm, I didn't fucking name her, 'scuse you Janis: and no, worse but you already know Janis: Leia, in our year Jimmy: ? Jimmy: more freckles than you Jimmy: that the one? Janis: that's the one Jimmy: how many cousins you got? Jimmy: half the school or what Janis: 🙄 pretty much Janis: who else would you know hmm Janis: Ollie in our year Janis: his sister Sophie, year below, that's probably it Jimmy: we should get him for our ⚽ team Jimmy: 👌 Janis: Yeah, bin off the actual lad, know you wanna Jimmy: nowt personal we're just too 😎 Janis: 😂 Jimmy: & I just can't around all those sweaty lads 😍😍 so Janis: 🚬 wheezing for all the wrong reasons, babe Jimmy: [lols] Janis: less of a look that being a footie dyke, trust Jimmy: you've got a beard now if you wanna get back on the team Janis: what else am I in this for Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: get your short shorts on then, babe Janis: but how can I compete Jimmy: 🥇 you Jimmy: come on Janis: but those legs 😍😍 Jimmy: but yours Jimmy: [reaches to get 'em] Janis: oi Janis: [protest too much] Jimmy: [little playfight that very quickly just turns into him getting her in a sexy way] Janis: we're nearly there now Janis: you can do it Jimmy: [tells her how hot she is in a VOICE cos how dare you distract him girl now he's gotta distract you too but does carry on] Janis: ['wait' and smooches him 'cos okay] Jimmy: [& then more cos forever mood] Janis: such a bad influence Jimmy: I just like encouragement Jimmy: I really Janis: [more intense eye contact] really? Jimmy: respond well to it, you know Jimmy: [hot kisses to prove the point] Janis: I Janis: I see Jimmy: [more eye contact just because] Janis: come on Janis: [takes his hand and lowkey drags him the rest of the way] Jimmy: [gives her a look like she's such a spoilsport & is all smirky but goes] Janis: you just go straight down Janis: I'll tell my parents what's up Jimmy: alright Janis: it'll be fine Janis: save the 20 questions later if I don't 🙄 Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: tah Janis: [comes down after five minutes or so] Jimmy: [he's just flopped on her bed cos tired boy] Janis: [sits down next to and strokes his hair like hey] Jimmy: [snuggles] Janis: you need anything? Jimmy: [says 'you' cos obvs] Janis: [snuggles down too 'cos 'you got me'] Jimmy: [all the snuggles and soft kisses and touches cos happy] Janis: ['I wish you could stay forever'] Jimmy: [just nods cos same & emotions] Janis: [just being gentle and loving 'cos gah] Jimmy: [likewise] Janis: [I love you] Jimmy: [kisses cos again same & again emotions] Janis: [gets him undressed but less in a sexy way and more in a caring way] Jimmy: [follows her lead & helps her with her own clothes not forgetting putting the hair down cos never & we gotta spend some time playing with that then] Janis: you're Janis: I've never met anyone like you Jimmy: too northern Jimmy: I get it Jimmy: I've met loads of paddy's but you're Janis: shh Janis: no you're Janis: maybe I've never been with anyone like this Janis: I don't mean just the sex and shit Janis: you know Jimmy: I do Jimmy: know Janis: you Janis: you feel it too right Jimmy: [all the eye contact & 😍] Jimmy: I feel it too, baby Janis: [is reassured like yes good and dying a bit 'cos closeness] Jimmy: [says ILY but it's basically a whisper cos how soft they are rn] Janis: [actual whisper 'why'] Jimmy: 'cause I do Jimmy: all them compliments you never take Jimmy: for a start Janis: [hiding how she do] Janis: okay Jimmy: [is playing with her hair and gently gets her to look at him because] Jimmy: you've gotta take 'em or you'll 💔 me Jimmy: [but smiles and is still 😍] Janis: I said okay, how else can I take a compliment? 😏 Jimmy: [more kisses] Jimmy: say it like you mean it Jimmy: maybe Janis: [🙄 but less mad as per] Janis: okay Janis: agree with everything you've said, I'm amazing, like Jimmy: [pins her down but gently not like !!! for more kissing because third time's the charm obvs] Janis: [ily so much] Jimmy: [says her name a few times in between kisses cos they both like it] Janis: thought you were sleepy Jimmy: I am but Jimmy: never that sleepy Jimmy: you're just Janis: [smiley and smug] Jimmy: [traces the 😏 face emoji on her with his finger cos art hoe] Janis: not gonna cut your hands off Janis: I've decided Jimmy: Yeah? Jimmy: what have you decided to do with them instead then Janis: [moves his hands down and does the thing where you move 'em with yours on top] Jimmy: thought you were knackered Janis: how else you meant to unwind 'fore bed Jimmy: [smiles and kisses her again as he carries on] Janis: I wanna Janis: touch you too Jimmy: [moves a bit so it's easier for her cos we can all imagine how close they were probably lying am I right, kids?] Janis: show me how you do it Janis: how you like it Jimmy: [does the same hand trick for her like a shameless copycat] Janis: ['I just wanna make you feel good, Jimmy'] Jimmy: [tries to tell her that she does but it's a moan though 'cause how hot do you wanna be, Janis, it's rude] Janis: [kissing him harder 'cos feeling that he's feeling it too] Jimmy: [and yet he's still managing to touch her too, what a trooper, not like me I'd be well distracted] Janis: you're Janis: [more kisses] Jimmy: you though Jimmy: [more kisses] Janis: ['you' over and over] Jimmy: [and her name too cos that's the mood] Janis: I love you so much Jimmy: [kissing again cos he can't even] Janis: [lbr gonna do this 'til sleep] Jimmy: [true story bro]

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Grace

Janis: [Later AM after] Janis: so what's the scoop Janis: did it work Grace: OMG so you're talking to me now? Janis: what can I say Janis: giving you time and space to get busy 👌 Grace: EW Grace: giving it to yourself babes 👌 Grace: but now you've worn him out, yeah? Janis: Hush Janis: this is your debrief, what you wasting time talking 'bout me for Janis: usually LOVE to chat on yourself, like 😏 Grace: duh it's waaaaaaaaaaaay more interesting Grace: I know how my night went Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: that good, yeah? Janis: he was actually unbearable Grace: that predictable Grace: boys always are Grace: I TOLD YOU! ugh Janis: well he obvs had his reasons for being there Janis: bet he was so butthurt Grace: honestly! he's sent me so many texts Grace: boy stop I'm taking the longest shower of my life & you aren't invited Janis: gross Janis: just her type Grace: OMG she's 😠😠😠 Grace: I can't even be annoyed at you for leaving & leaving me muted cos you two really went off 👏 Janis: Good Janis: she deserves it Janis: also glad it weren't a wasted evening 'cos not getting that time/braincells back, thanks ryan 😒 Grace: IKR Grace: living only for the content I can get out of him 🙄🙄 Janis: never off, you Grace: I don't have a cute white boy distracting me rn so sorry Janis: 💔💔 Janis: erm, tell mum and dad i'm going away for a bit will you Janis: cba Grace: LITERALLY Grace: it's tragic Grace: UM EXCUSE YOU WHAT? Grace: where are you going?? Janis: my heart bleeds for you, babe 😂 Janis: idk yet just away for a bit before dreaded School Grace: no it does not 🙄🙄 Grace: ugh that's so unfair Janis: this town is awash with 'em Janis: not all dick is attached to bigger dickheads, like Grace: OMG your boyfriend gave me that same speech Grace: 💕 Janis: Yeah Janis: rehearsed that, like 😑 Grace: 😂😂😂 Grace: are you literally going now?? Janis: oh yeah Janis: can you babysit Janis: meant to ask Grace: I repeat Grace: like now??! Or Janis: how many days we got left off? Grace: 2 if you're coming back when school starts Grace: but like why would you Janis: exactly Janis: so can ya then, only need to do it 'til they're back at School Grace: the sister too? Janis: she'll probably do her own thing, that's cool Janis: mainly the boy Grace: Phew! Grace: I can already tell she's not gonna like me Grace: 😱😱 Grace: but sure I said I would Janis: don't take it personal Janis: 👍 Janis: tell you when we're actually gone Grace: okay babes Grace: what's the deal with his dad tho Grace: I don't need that drama Janis: he's just a prick but he'll be at work Janis: I'll get Cass to agree to be back 'fore he is and you'll be sound Grace: sounds like just my type Grace: so that shouldn't be a problem Janis: 💀 Janis: I think not Grace: oh please I'm joking Grace: not THAT desperate Grace: 👌👌👌 Janis: oh good, can stop moaning 'bout it then 😏 Grace: you're so rude Grace: I haven't even said anything Janis: I'm joking Janis: although Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Grace: sure biitch Grace: Mia's been defeated you don't have to be nice to me anymore Grace: not that you were Janis: charming Janis: she's a 🐍 Janis: gotta cut her into at least 7 parts 'fore she's actually dead init Grace: duh Grace: but who has the time or the energy Janis: you 'til you find a white boy, apparently Grace: excuse you, you don't even believe I can count to 7 Grace: & I said CUTE there are white boys everywhere Grace: but that's like 🦄 Janis: know your standards aren't that high Grace: UM how dare you Janis: 😂 Janis: tell me I'm wrong Grace: I brought my ex to one party let me live Grace: & he brought me really so Grace: ugh Grace: 😱😱😱 Janis: what were you thinking Grace: I obvs wasn't Grace: he got me so drunk 🙄 Janis: he didn't just drop by of his own volition Janis: you were already pissed so Grace: CAN you NOT judge me thanks Grace: & don't even I was not Janis: yes you were Janis: don't lie Grace: OMG Grace: stop calling me a liar Grace: you always do Janis: well why bother Janis: you clearly were, I was talking to you Janis: it's more embarrassing acting like that was you sober Grace: why what did I do? Janis: at the party or in the conversation Janis: either way, don't matter now Grace: well it does if you're holding so much cringe against me or something Grace: what did I say before? obvs I was drunk at the party I said so Janis: nah, I ain't Janis: nothing you wouldn't say sober no doubt Grace: ugh fine Janis: why you wanna know so bad Janis: scroll if you wanna 💀 Grace: cos you're being a bitch to me over it Janis: 🙄 Janis: ain't I always Janis: what's new Grace: exactly Grace: so boring Grace: I'm sure there's something I've done more recently you can call me out over Janis: 💔 Janis: why would I do that Grace: you literally just said Grace: you always do Grace: what's new, babes Janis: nah Janis: I'd have to care, like you said, you're on mute Janis: you just like to feel #attacked Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Grace: not today tho Grace: not now you need something Janis: ain't me Janis: you owe, we're cashing in Janis: simple as Grace: I don't owe you anything & you still want me to tell mum & dad for you Janis: don't then Janis: I don't care Grace: obvs Janis: what's your point Grace: my point is & was I was being nice to you Grace: & you're rude Janis: No, you weren't Janis: and you never are Janis: so likewise Grace: who's feeling #attacked now, hun Grace: cos I literally was Janis: so nice Janis: wow Janis: miss congeniality Janis: been friends with them too long, you've got no idea how to be nice, or what that even is Grace: I've got no idea how to talk to you cos I'm always on mute Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: doesn't stop you Janis: God loves a trier Grace: well excuse me Grace: I won't talk to you then fine Janis: okiedokie Janis: later Grace: just tell me when you're going Grace: or get your boyfriend to Janis: obviously Janis: I already said Grace: are you gonna tell mum & dad? Janis: no Janis: why would i Grace: cos they'll freak out if you just vanish duh Grace: send a text it's not like it's hard Janis: if you're concerned do it yourself Grace: OMG Grace: we literally have the chillest parents ever why do you want them to freak out Janis: if they're so chill then what's the issue Grace: you know what the issue is Grace: do you wanna be her now? Janis: 🙄 Janis: obvs Janis: never did fuck all to know where she was so it'll be fine Grace: that's not even close to being true Grace: they looked for her all the time Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: what, like it was hard Janis: sure Grace: what like it's hard to just tell them you're going? Grace: just stop being such a bitch Janis: nah Janis: just chill out, if you wanna bum 'em so hard Grace: I'm trying to help you, bitch Grace: ugh Janis: sure Janis: i'm doing what i want so how'd you work that one out Grace: sorry your boyfriend is apparently so boring you need the drama Grace: OMG Janis: what drama Janis: they're so chill so cool wow Janis: so lucky Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: get over it, grace, no one else gives a shit Grace: get over yourself first Grace: cos yeah they do Janis: wow parents of the year Janis: why don't you make them an award Grace: shut up Janis: when you're the only one that still cares and you still aren't the favourite Janis: sad times Grace: Rio's always gonna be the fave Grace: duh Janis: gotta make it seem intentional Grace: whatever Grace: I'm not bored enough ever to talk about our family dysfunction for this amount of time so Janis: piss off then? Janis: literally never trying to talk to any of you, least of all you Grace: you popped up in my inbox babes Grace: but nice try Janis: to cash a favour Janis: but good one Grace: you could have done that in 1 line Grace: why are you still here? Janis: omg please tell mummy and daddy Grace: please go away Janis: devastating Janis: so nice, you Janis: as nice as they are chill 🤞 Grace: you've told me repeatedly how nice I'm not Grace: so enjoy being right Janis: oh babes Janis: is sarcasm really lost on you Janis: genuinely didn't think you were that thick, awkward Grace: yeah sure tell me how stupid I am again Grace: we've reached that point in the convo Grace: fabulous Janis: Gotta try and make it stick Janis: working with with you're giving me here, very little Grace: why? you don't care & you never wanna talk to me so Janis: common good Janis: counts as community service Grace: sure Janis: are you so deluded you think I talk to you for some sense of fun Grace: I don't actually spend time trying to think about why you do anything anymore, babes Janis: 👌 Janis: dead convincing that Grace: too stupid to figure you out obvs Janis: awh Janis: too much of a cunt to care, more like it Grace: I care Grace: & according to you too much Grace: so like ?? Grace: try making sense Janis: try keeping up Janis: know the synapses are signed but come on Janis: singed* Grace: I just can't keep up with you, hun Grace: you're miles ahead duh Janis: does that make you feel good about yourself, yeah? Grace: oh please Grace: I never feel good about myself & we've covered that Janis: ugh shut up Janis: whine whine whine Janis: no wonder your ex would rather be looking at himself Grace: you wanna slag me off but I can't join in? Grace: typical Janis: we've all heard it a billion times Grace: same goes for everything you're saying rn so Grace: I've heard it more than a billion times from you Janis: and what? Janis: I don't care about your feelings, or how bored you pretend to be, is what you fail to grasp Grace: obvs Grace: tell me a few more times how much you don't care, yeah? Janis: I will Janis: there's literally nothing you can say, why are you still here Grace: Then stop talking to me OMG Janis: no Janis: make me Grace: I obvs can't Janis: yet I can ignore you, craziness Janis: that's what's so funny Grace: 👏 Grace: mhmm so funny that you don't care about anything but I care about you Grace: sure Janis: now you're getting it Grace: maybe I'm not entirely stupid Grace: phew Grace: what a relief like Janis: let's not get carried away Grace: 😂😂😂 Janis: cute though Grace: thanks so much Janis: do as you want anyway, tell 'em I've started on the meth if you reckon it'll kick 'em into action Grace: I'm not telling them anything Janis: good, we're on the same page for once Janis: hooray Grace: 👏 Janis: 🙌🎉 Grace: [is ignoring] Janis: [emojibombs her to blow her phone up] Grace: [somehow ignoring how annoying that is] Janis: can you tell your friend to get out my inbox Grace: no Janis: 🙄 Janis: save the backbone for her she's slagging you off Grace: I'm sure she is Janis: not Mia Janis: the other one Grace: like I said, I'm sure she is Janis: fuck's sake Janis: not much use alive are you Grace: not to you obvs Grace: mute her it's not difficult Janis: not to them if you aren't gonna play the game Janis: sort it out Grace: what do you think the game is? Grace: I annoyed Mia, as planned, of course they're all slagging me off Grace: duh Janis: yeah and you need to go grovel like you always do so you can be bffs forever Janis: this ain't my first rodeo either Grace: I don't need to do anything Grace: so if you'll excuse me Janis: I won't Janis: seriously, control your friends Grace: no thanks Janis: stop being such a useless cunt Grace: stop talking to me like that Grace: or ever preferably Grace: you agreed to help me, it's your problem if they're in your inbox too Janis: no, it ain't Janis: they're your problem Grace: no they're not Grace: they're muted on my phone rn Grace: I don't have a problem Janis: yeah singular is a bit pie in the sky Janis: for fuck sake, get it over with Grace: no thanks Janis: we get it, you're attention starved Janis: milk it all you want but keep it private, the rest of us don't need to see Mia throw you a bone Grace: 😂😂😂 Janis: how funny is it when that's exactly what you do though Janis: tears of a 🤡 Grace: 👌👌👌 Janis: this time'll be different, babes Janis: god bless Grace: makes no difference to you so get over it Janis: 😂 Janis: does though, as I've literally fucking stated so either sort your shit or just get it out of my fucking face, either way, I don't care Janis: I didn't sign up to deal with ou, I really didn't sign up to deal with them Grace: I'm not the one in your inbox, tell it to them if you're so affected Janis: listen, you fucking idiot Janis: they're not my business, I want nothing to do with them Grace: well me either rn so Janis: what part of, I don't fucking care about you do you not understand Janis: they're your friends, it's your mess, grow the fuck up and deal with it Grace: I'm just telling you why I'm not sorting them out for you Grace: but keep begging me to like Grace: like its so hard to handle for yourself Janis: You are Janis: end of story Grace: I'm really not Grace: I'm in this mess which you think is mine cos I was defending you Grace: why would I get into more drama with them to tell them to leave you alone? Grace: You've already told me I shouldn't have bothered in the first place Janis: I don't care about you, oh my God Janis: I don't care if you're exiled, it's your mess Janis: own it Grace: well I don't care if they're in your inbox so Janis: I don't care about your feelings or opinions Janis: this is all irrelevant Grace: then stop asking me to do you a favour Grace: shut them up yourself or don't Janis: it isn't a favour Janis: it's responsibility Grace: they aren't my responsibility Grace: so its not Janis: yes they are Janis: no one elese likes them Janis: you brought them here Grace: they aren't Grace: they're their own bitches making their own messes Janis: wow put it on a t-shirt Janis: in this case, they are Grace: no Grace: even if they were my friends I can't tell them what to do, they only listen to Mia Grace: & I'm not going to try cos they aren't Janis: 🎻 Grace: play it for yourself & your blown up inbox babes Janis: sort it out Grace: no Janis: you useless fucking bitch Grace: it didn't work the last time you said that Grace: but go off Janis: drop dead Grace: you wish Janis: you wish Janis: you pathetic wreck Grace: 😭😭😭 Janis: exactly Janis: invite your ex over again to make you feel loved Janis: then pretend you don't remember how he got there Grace: nice idea but no thanks he really didn't Janis: no shit Janis: not stopped you before Janis: like the Mia shit, you always revert to type, needy little cunt Grace: you're literally asking me to go back to her so you can have a clean inbox babes Grace: & I've said no Grace: deal with it Janis: yeah? Janis: because I don't care about you Janis: what? I want you to have nice friends 😂 Janis: I didn't help you for you, obviously, you know that Janis: at least Mia knows what the fuck she is Grace: go ask her to call them off then Grace: I'm sure she'd love to Grace: when she's done telling everyone she made you cry at the party obvs Janis: 💔 Janis: so tragic Janis: 'til 🤡 walked in right on cue Janis: no one's talking about me, not even Mia Janis: don't you just love that for you? Grace: you'd love that but she is Grace: they all are Janis: no, you've got them muted and I'm essentially in the group chat Janis: trust, all about you, graciekins Grace: you wish Grace: I've unmuted plenty of times Grace: over plenty of days Janis: wow ok harriet the spy Janis: get you Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Grace: just tell your boyfriend I need his address when you sort out what the hell you're doing Grace: that way I can go back to ignoring you Janis: [address] Janis: there Grace: 👋 Janis: hope you die in a car crash! 👍 Grace: dream about it Grace: 💕 Janis: you wish anyone did Grace: I really don't Janis: convincing, again Grace: I'm not going to sit here & convince you that I don't actually want people to wish me dead Grace: sorry about it Janis: yeah 'cos that's what was meant Grace: yeah cos I care what you meant Janis: it's not about caring it's just basic comprehension, really Janis: but go off with that victim narrative you fit everything into Grace: but I'm so stupid tho babes, so sorry Grace: can't comprehend you & your mysterious ways Janis: nothing mysterious about it Janis: you wish though Janis: maybe all this means I really care, wouldn't that be lovely, n'awh Grace: but I love it so much how often you tell me you don't Grace: so no Janis: ew Janis: keep your dreams to yourself Grace: you first Grace: or you know, just keep telling everyone how much you'd love it if I died Grace: put it in the group chat for the girls 💕 Janis: ugh this conversation would be so much easier if you could read Janis: you're the only one that likes to be told still Janis: but that's just your wankbank material so, we get it Janis: times are tough for you rn Grace: but you don't care about my thoughts & feelings Grace: so its so considerate for you to do it anyway Grace: best sister award Janis: You're so lucky to have me Janis: get out the lollipop sticks, you're making more work for yourself Grace: mhhhhmmm Grace: I'll get the kid brother to do it, it's fine Janis: try not to scare him with all your problems Grace: thanks for the pro tip babes Grace: working on his big brother is it? Janis: you wish you knew Janis: sad times Grace: I do know, I had a front row seat for how 😍 he is Janis: you wish you knew how to do it, obviously Grace: yeah Grace: but I don't & you're not gonna tell me so Grace: I'll have to get over it Janis: such a drag when you're so #damaged and it ain't getting you all that enabling dick Janis: shame she ain't about to ask, such a pro Grace: IKR Janis: not that she ever talked to you so bit de ja vu init babes Grace: obvs Janis: 💔 truly Grace: tragic Janis: least you only have to pretend to be messed up over it now Grace: what a relief Janis: mhhhhmmm Janis: must've sucked to have actually given a shit about her Grace: did it? Grace: you're one of the only few of us who bothered Janis: nah Grace: glad you're not 💔💔💔 Janis: obviously Janis: you care SO much Janis: the nicest person to ever exist Grace: not about her tho Janis: like you said, no one did Grace: I said you did Grace: you're saying no one Janis: typical you to presume you know me Janis: unsurprised Grace: typical you pretend like I wasn't there Grace: unsurprised Janis: as if that was an option Janis: chatting shit Grace: you're so good at it now tho Grace: well done Grace: a real glow up Janis: you know Janis: still as annoying but less and less relevant the more you scream and cry Janis: lost any real power 'fore we were out of nappies but go of Janis: regression is very in now anyway, can't all be me Grace: sure Janis: 💔💔💔 Grace: are you done, my ex is here Grace: need to revert to type like now Janis: hope you polished the mirror like a good girl then Grace: not that one Grace: but thanks Grace: so many to choose from obvs Janis: they're all the same Janis: especially with how little of a shit they give about you Janis: cute, we should get jackets Grace: duh Janis: awh tell lewis jack aaron etc i said hi Grace: I would but none of them are talkers Grace: kinda the point Janis: thick gotta pick thick Janis: not exactly a stunning conversationalist, which is depressing, the amount you chat Grace: obvs Janis: well have a lovely time Grace: thanks Grace: 👋 Janis: ✌ Grace: 💋 Janis: it's obvious enough you're fucking me without that Grace: EW Grace: be weirder Janis: really out here playing dumb Janis: not much of a talker, hates you, loves themselves Janis: i know you bum ma and da but really, couldn't settle for daddy issues could you Grace: I AM dumb, babes Grace: & all of that you've said Grace: like I said, keep your dreams to yourself first please Janis: all of it's true Janis: gonna 💔 if you start pretending they love you, christ Grace: I'm not Grace: but love the warning Grace: so cute Janis: serious, you should come with a warning Janis: ready to ring up the samaritans on your behalf every time you pop up Grace: I do, it's that I'm related to you Grace: but I work around it Grace: don't waste their time when you don't care SO MUCH babes, it's really rude Janis: that's adorable Janis: if only people disliked you 'cos of me, oh bless Janis: they give less of a shit, trust Grace: It's a warning for boys, isn't it? Grace: plenty of them think I'm like you, trust Janis: 😱 Janis: omg, boys don't like me Janis: better go commit Janis: you're the one surrounded by girls, my love Grace: but you're so wifed Grace: so you'll have to go on living or what would that poor barista boy do? Janis: again, you wish Grace: I really don't but you are Grace: he's gonna be so sad when you stop caring about him Janis: yeah, too nice for you Janis: real bummer being so in love with me, you poor thing Grace: it is for him, yeah Janis: you've puked in front of him once and now you're besties Janis: this is how we ended up here, raise the bar Grace: I wish we were cos of how much you'd hate it but sadly no Janis: 💔 Janis: as I said, you wish Janis: revelation, Gracie wants what's mine Grace: 😂😂😂 Grace: like you said, he's too nice for me, hun Janis: doesn't stop you thinking you deserve better Janis: so hard done by Grace: oh please Janis: my sentiments exactly Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Grace: have fun wherever you're going Janis: obviously Grace: bye Janis: yeah yeah Grace: so I can't even say bye now? Grace: fine Janis: say what you like Janis: likewise Grace: whatever Janis: fine Janis: 😂 Grace: [is ignoring again cos really stop Grace you aren't gonna get anywhere] Janis: [later] Janis: k we're leaving Janis: can you come now for a few hours Janis: he's back at 6:30 so Cass said she'll be back 6:15 latest Grace: sure Janis: tah Janis: gotta get [bus number] that's quickest Grace: do I have to feed her or something? what kind of tween is she? Grace: some of them can do everything & some nothing Janis: she ain't Mia, she eats Janis: she was gonna get maccies so don't worry 'bout her Grace: 👌 Janis: wait 'round 'til you're here, give you key and all that shit Janis: try not to see his dad, yeah, he dunno so Grace: I'll get the boy to drop me so I won't be long Grace: like 10 Janis: gross Janis: but cool Grace: what about the dog? Grace: you didn't mention it Janis: we're taking it Grace: thank god Janis: yeah you aren't good with dogs so no Grace: literally Janis: yet you begged for one 'til like last year Grace: did you need to have a dig at me? Grace: so rude Janis: just saying, a pugs life is hard enough without you wanting to shove it in a bag Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Grace: I don't even want a pug it's cruel Janis: now maybe Janis: 13 year old you couldn't be told shit Grace: ever maybe excuse you very much Grace: god, leave me alone Janis: whatever Grace: what time does he go to work in the AM? Janis: 6 Janis: they'll be asleep 'til later though, come 'round like 9 and then Cass can go do what she wants for the day Grace: k Janis: you're not all fucking Janis: messy are you Janis: don't scare him Grace: you're such a bitch Grace: I wouldn't do that Grace: he's a kid Janis: well if he's still there you've only just finished christ Janis: don't rip my head off, you're the one doing all this shite Grace: I said I'd do this first Grace: so fuck you Janis: whatever Janis: if you're gonna be a fucking trainwreck I ain't gonna let you Grace: if I was a trainwreck I wouldn't be coming Janis: we'll see, won't we Grace: whatever Janis: not whatever, it's serious Janis: he's 6, he can't just be left with anyone Grace: I told you, I'm fine Grace: if you don't want me to show up I won't Janis: not like I have a choice Janis: don't fuck it up Grace: don't talk to me like that Janis: if you're gonna have an attitude, don't come Grace: k I won't Grace: makes no difference to me Janis: exactly Janis: don't Grace: 👌👌👌 Janis: I I was you Janis: I would not be there when I get back Grace: wasn't planning on it now my night's opened up babes Janis: I mean it Janis: you've had a fair warning so stay the fuck outta my eyeline and earshot Grace: so do I Grace: better things to do now I'm not waiting on you to tell me to come over thanks Janis: what, like letting another ex degrade you or texting back your friends who hate you? Janis: you're a fucking joke that was never funny and now Grace: none of your business Grace: literally ever Grace: but actually I only kept him around this long so he could drive me cos I knew you'd tell me to come with one foot out the door Grace: so glad I bothered Janis: sure, blame me for riding your ex when you could've got the bus like any normal person, princess Janis: what the hell is wrong with you? Grace: I'm telling you why he was still here cos you're apparently convinced I'd turn up in idk what kind of state Grace: like I'm her now, okay Janis: This was a stupid idea Janis: he doesn't know you, what you're like Grace: it was your idea, I just agreed to it Janis: no, it was his Janis: but I shouldve said no from the off, you can't be trusted Grace: but I can, babes Grace: you just don't like the idea of that Janis: like fuck can you Janis: you're a mess Grace: you wish Grace: I could do this, you just don't want me to Janis: why would I? Grace: cos if you did you could go Grace: & I know you want that Janis: well I want you around less Grace: fine Grace: I'm not Janis: Good Grace: tell your boyfriend we can work something else out since I still owe him Janis: fuck off Janis: this is what I don't want Janis: go away, no one owes anyone anything Grace: not true Grace: but whatever Janis: true, do one Janis: get it out of your fucking head Grace: like I said, whatever Janis: tell me when you've gone Grace: I am gone obvs Grace: I'm in a car Janis: Good Janis: I can leave Grace: sure can Janis: I'm not forgiving you for this Grace: you hate me anyway what do I care? Grace: you're gonna be more of a bitch Grace: wow Janis: do you not understand what you've actually done Janis: I can't be around your or I'm scared I'm going to genuinely hurt you Janis: cut the bullshit for one second 'cos this is real Grace: then don't be around me Grace: it's your own fault that I'm not doing this Grace: you could be on your way to wherever Janis: Yeah, 'cos going is really an option now Janis: you're not that stupid Grace: I'll come over now if you stop being such a bitch about it Grace: but you literally never can Grace: you'd rather act like it's my fault cos I hung out with a boy who I've fucked a few times for a few hours Grace: nothing even really happened Janis: I'm not interested Janis: it's too late now it's ruined Grace: you want it to be too late Grace: it's literally not Grace: I'm saying Janis: well funnily enough this isn't about you Janis: he's not gonna wanna go Grace: did he say that? Janis: I don't know Janis: you think I can listen Grace: Janis, get a fucking grip Grace: he loves you he obvs wants to go Janis: well I just told him we couldn't Grace: so un-tell him Grace: OMG Janis: oh yeah, that's not insane Grace: you're insane if you don't go, bitch Grace: what did you say for why you couldn't go? Janis: idk, just that we couldn't, end of Grace: so tell him I got held up but I'm omw Grace: he can be mad at me what do I care Grace: he looks cute like that Janis: piss off Janis: fine Grace: you're not gonna like hit me when I get there, are you? Janis: no Janis: get a head start if you're that concerned Grace: I'm just asking Janis: just Janis: thanks Janis: alright Grace: ew stop Janis: don't start Grace: don't thank me Grace: I'm not doing it for you Janis: whatever Grace: I told mum & dad Grace: so you might wanna put dad on mute Grace: just saying Janis: knew you would Janis: fair enough Janis: noted Grace: that's not for you either so don't like thank me again Grace: so weird Janis: I know on that one Grace: sure Grace: do I get a where now or are you just going? Janis: you gonna tell them that too Grace: ew Grace: no Grace: you know mum would drive there or something cringe Grace: I'd die of second hand embarrassment Janis: Good luck to her Janis: just gonna see how far we can get Grace: really? Grace: or is that what you're telling me cos you think I'm gonna tell everyone Janis: yeah and I wanna seem dead cool Janis: of course really Grace: everyone in this family would 👏 that Grace: so free spirited of you babes Janis: 🙄 Janis: don't give a shit Janis: hopefully we get murdered so I don't have to hear the 👏 Grace: I'm not telling them so you won't have to Grace: so don't get murdered Grace: okay? Janis: not sure it's a negotiation sitch Janis: do my best Grace: yeah Grace: I'm like 10 away again so Janis: alright Janis: we're out front 🚬 so I'll see you Grace: ew Grace: of course you are Janis: what do you mean of course I've never smoked Grace: bitch please Grace: I'm stupid, not oblivious Janis: well recently but I ain't a smoker Grace: didn't ask Grace: if you wanna not be as good of a runner that's not my buisiness Janis: 🙄 Janis: bitch please Grace: 🙄 Grace: ugh why do boys HAVE TO talk so much Grace: just drive Janis: 😂 Janis: if that wasn't typed I wouldn't believe I'd just heard that right Janis: probably 'cos you don't wanna talk to him? Grace: I don't wanna hear how AMAZING it'd be if I gave him a blowjob rn Grace: boy no I don't want to die Janis: you better get off the phone to me if you're doing that Grace: that's what I'm saying tho Grace: not happening Grace: me in a car crash is your dream, babes Grace: also I'm so close to barista boy's house, is that a compliment or can he only last a minute? 🤔 Janis: idk who it even is so I can't tell you Janis: you should know surely Grace: I just remembered the answer Grace: & why he's an ex Janis: grim 😏 Grace: lowkey need out of this car before he gets more highkey Grace: ugh Janis: you really shoulda got the bus Grace: bus drivers creep me out Grace: they're always staring at me like I'm walking around with my boobs out Grace: ew Grace: at least I know this perv Janis: at least there's witnesses on the bus Janis: and a company to complain to if you're feeling it Grace: OMG don't Grace: I'm having the worse day if this is my last one Janis: it be like that Janis: not often having a banging one Janis: 'less you plan to OD or have a heartattack fucking a stripper or something Grace: I know you'd LOVE for me to be murdered but can you not please Janis: well quick gimme his name and license Grace: UM no Grace: let's keep it at you not knowing who he is, thanks Janis: you would rather be murdered Janis: also I'll see when he drops you off 'less you're gonna make him park a road over like an embarrassing mum Grace: tbh Grace: & yeah I so am Janis: you're a nutter Janis: idgaf Grace: exactly Grace: so you're just gonna be a bitch Grace: & I can't even rn so Janis: so Janis: you don't lurve him, clearly Grace: that makes it worse Grace: duh Janis: you'd rather I slag off the love of your life Janis: I mean, do, on the reg Grace: I could defend that Grace: not spending a whole afternoon with this boy just cos I don't wanna be alone Grace: there's nothing I can say about that Janis: meh same Janis: least you ain't going away for a minibreak Grace: the fact you can say that like its a bad thing is why I don't ever wanna know you Janis: 🙄 you're so dramatic Janis: we're bonding, bitch Grace: oh excuse me, you get to miss school with a cute boy & it's such a drag Grace: & he loves you can't forget that Janis: he does not Janis: behave Grace: he so does Grace: the most dramatic 😍😍😍 I've ever seen Janis: probably just wants road head init Grace: 😂 Grace: thanks for not shagging him in the middle of the restaurant tho, really appreciate that, babes Janis: ryan was putting me right off Janis: didn't do it/not do it for you, obvs Grace: you were doing the opposite of putting him off so obvs Grace: idk how many times he asked me to sit on his lap Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: 🤢 Janis: woulda had to drag you off on principle Grace: I should've to crush him Grace: v tempting Grace: but killing him was not the mission sadly Janis: really gotta call it a day 'fore she gets you in on a murder pact Janis: fuck telling ma and da, tell someone who'll actually do something about it, like Grace: oh so you want him to live a long & productive life, okay Janis: not about him Janis: you would not do well in prison Grace: you should be encouraging me to go then Grace: duh Janis: nah Janis: imagine the letters you'd write Janis: no hair straighteners, no make up Grace: at least I wouldn't have to stress about my prison wife being prettier than me Grace: so might be 😍😍😍 Janis: you've got plenty experience being someone's bitch, true Janis: if you wanna come out, just do it, btw Grace: I told you, I can't Grace: would love to Janis: 😂 Janis: every girl you know is a massive bitch, I don't see how it'd be any better Grace: I wouldn't date any of them ew Grace: I don't even like them Grace: as friends Janis: you're so weird Grace: you're so rude Grace: I'm not weird Janis: you don't like your friends, how is that normal Grace: It's normal of everyone I know Grace: none of us like each other Janis: Mental Grace: 🤷 Janis: have you considered Janis: not Grace: babes, do you wanna be more specific? Janis: not being friends with people you hate Grace: obvs Janis: annnnd Grace: and what? Grace: you know what the answers are Janis: why though Grace: like I said, you know so Janis: I don't know why you would Janis: well Janis: maybe Grace: you so do Grace: & we don't need to go into it when I'm stuck in a car with this boy, do we? Janis: whatever Janis: i'm easy Grace: I know Grace: but if you don't want me to show up a mess don't upset me Grace: 🤷 Janis: bit rude Janis: you just called me a slag Grace: you wish Janis: yeah lifelong ambition that Janis: dead wanna follow in ma's footsteps Grace: yeah obvs Grace: really get that vibe from you Janis: you get what I give ya, babe Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: you know it's true Grace: I didn't say it wasn't Janis: hmm Janis: d'ya reckon if I 'turn Mia, Drew would fuck her to death? 🤔 Grace: not something I wanna think about thanks Grace: ew Janis: you were all about the murder plots five seconds ago Grace: but he's so old & she's so bad in bed Grace: I can't Janis: 1. he isn't really is he, he's not even 40 yet Janis: 2. know you're hating but going that hard sounds like you have firsthand so Grace: 👌👌👌 fine he's sooo gross whatever Grace: & you think I do anyway & I'm talking to you rn so Janis: meh probably would Janis: just an FYI so you don't get a callout post on your callout post Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Grace: can you not I'm trying to direct an idiot who has already gone the wrong way twice Janis: that's how he passed Janis: #roadhead Grace: mhmm Grace: I'm getting out this is stupid Grace: ugh Janis: that was funny, coulda laughed, bitch Grace: you don't know I didn't LOL Grace: & I'll never tell you bitch Janis: woulda heard you from here Grace: it wasn't that funny babe Grace: I'm not gonna go that hard Janis: inside voice who? Janis: your fault diego is deaf, btw Grace: RUDE! Janis: 😂 Grace: it's so freezing Grace: how are you just outside casually Janis: 🙄 Janis: just tough like that, obvs Grace: sure Janis: 'scuse you bitch Grace: excuse me why Janis: don't deny it Grace: literally did not Janis: you've got such an attitude problem you know Janis: I blame the parents Grace: just blame me Grace: it's how this goes, hun Janis: your hard on for them is unbearable Grace: I'll add it to the things Janis hates about me list Grace: thanks so much Janis: seriously Janis: it's not natural Grace: I'm not normal or natural now, okay Janis: okay zooey Janis: calm down Grace: no Janis: ick Grace: 🤷 Janis: you're real gross, graciekins Grace: keep repeating yourself babes Grace: nobody's over it or anything Janis: know you hate yourself but refering to yourself as nobody is a bit touched Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: you here yet ugh Grace: I'm walking get over it Grace: if you can't see me I'm obvs not Janis: hurry up good god Janis: places to be Janis: lorry drivers to suck off Grace: shut up & I could Janis: could you Grace: OMG Grace: leave me alone Janis: 😂 Janis: ⏲ Grace: do you want me to turn around & go home? Janis: you don't get to hold it over me, your idea Janis: chipchop Grace: I can do whatever I want Janis: ooh Janis: go on then Grace: fine Grace: bye Janis: 👋 Grace: 👋 Janis: DID YOU THINK THAT'D WORK Janis: genuine question Grace: I don't know or care what you're talking about Grace: I'm just genuinely going home so Janis: bless your heart Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: you better not be Janis: he's all worked up ow and YOU said you wouldn't do that to a kid Grace: fight me later, babes Grace: I'm tired Janis: fuck off, Grace Grace: literally am Janis: get in here now Janis: this isn't a game Grace: stop treating me like a pawn then, bitch Janis: hurry up Janis: stop timewasting Grace: stop talking to me like that Janis: whatever Grace: not even Janis: fuck sake cry about it later Janis: you owe Jimmy, not me Grace: feel free to tell him I still do cos you can't stop being a bitch for 2 seconds Janis: shup up Janis: you're so pissy Grace: exactly Grace: I'm in no mood for you being so rude to me for literally no reason rn Janis: I'm not gonna lick you out for doing something you have promised to do Janis: get over it and we'll be done here Grace: you get over it Grace: cos I'm over you treating me like this all the time Janis: uhuh Grace: so I'm not coming & you can deal with that Janis: 👍 Grace: 👌 Janis: well tah for nothing, you massive cunt Janis: and I've changed my mind, I am going to hit you if I see you Janis: ✌ Grace: you're so welcome Grace: & I'm unsurprised Janis: Don't come anywhere near me I swear to God Grace: why would I? Grace: I turned around once for you already & now I have to find someone else to pick me up Janis: good thing you've disappointed half the lads in school then isn't it Janis: plenty of potential pity rides Grace: yeah Janis: disgusting Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: you reckon you hate yourself but you don't enough Janis: actually vile Grace: noted Janis: seriously fuck you Janis: I can't have one thing Grace: & I can't have 5 seconds without you slagging me off Grace: so Janis: boo fucking hoo Janis: it isn't even comparable you selfish bitch Grace: so devastated for you that you can't leave Janis: it isn't just that are you so fucking Janis: forget it Janis: actually give up on you but I mean it Grace: fine by me Grace: you're horrible to me anyway Janis: at least I fucking notice you cunt Janis: who else does, no one Grace: yeah cos that's the attention I want Grace: thanks Janis: well poor fucking you with all your fake friends and boyfriends Janis: you can go back to feeling better about it when I have no one again, status quo Grace: I'll happily take all of that over a second of you being real about how you hope I die or whatever Janis: no shit Janis: I know Grace: obvs Grace: you know everything, yeah Janis: shut the fuck up Janis: this isn't about you Janis: you don't get to ruin the one thing I have and have a pity party like I should care Grace: no, it's about you freaking out that your boyfriend's gonna leave you Janis: fuck you, seriously Grace: I hope he does if this is how horrible you're gonna be Janis: well you can't have everything Janis: sorry, princess Grace: I don't have anything duh Grace: you've said it enough times Janis: bullshit Janis: I've told you, I'm not feeling sorry for you Grace: literally wasn't asking Grace: but it makes no sense to tell me I can't have everything & also tell me I have nothing Grace: so like Grace: figure out your insults Janis: you always are because you're pathetic Janis: I ain't got time Janis: some of us still have places to be Grace: sure babes Grace: me too Janis: difference between me and you is, I actually do it, Grace Janis: can tell the 'rents the danger factor is amped up if you still reckon you care Grace: I was actually trying to help you & I'm so glad I bothered so guess what no Janis: 💔 Grace: obvs Grace: save it for the former barista Janis: you really are that stupid Janis: you think I'm still there or Janis: you get to ruin my life and not even understand what the fuck you've done, yeah, why not Grace: I don't care where you are, you still love him anyway Janis: shut the fuck up Grace: why should I? you won't ever Janis: because you don't get to take it away and fucking talk on it like you have any idea Grace: I can do whatever I like Grace: you're that stupid if you think he's not gonna come after you Grace: wherever you've gone Janis: No, he won't Janis: but you wouldn't know that or why 'cos you don't know a thing about it Grace: Unless you've killed him, yeah he will Janis: really 'cos it's me that's had this conversation with him, not you Janis: thanks, truly Grace: oh so you think he's that stupid too Grace: you really know how to treat people, babes Janis: no because he's got his own fucking issues, Grace and you've forced my hand so yeah, now I've had to do something really fucked Grace: I haven't forced you into anything Grace: you did it Janis: bullshit Janis: I wanted to go with him and because of you I'm going alone, you can't deny it 'cos if you'd just fucking did what you said you would then he'd be here too Grace: Take responsibility for yourself, Janis Grace: You're going alone cos you treat people like shit and expect them to just take it Grace: I didn't make you leave him there Grace: you could've stayed with him easily, what he wants is to be with you Janis: you aren't people Grace: what's he though? you love him & you did that Janis: fuck you and fucking easily as if you've ever had a real relationship with anyone, and I don't just mean lads Janis: how dare you lecture me Grace: yeah sure make it about me cos you can't handle what you just did Grace: you could've just stopped being a bitch to me & it would have fixed this Grace: you could've stayed with him like you want instead of running away Janis: well no I couldn't or I would have Grace: then don't blame me Janis: it's your fault Janis: I can't make it any clearer Grace: it's your own fault Janis: no, it's yours Janis: you get treated like shit because that's how you treat me and expect a fucking groveling thanks Grace: I don't even Grace: & I didn't expect any thanks just not for you to make me feel like shit for a second Janis: you always feel like shit Janis: and you want it to be my fault but it ain't Grace: yeah so that makes it okay for you to add to it Grace: sure Grace: the things you say & do are your fault, babe Grace: even when you want them to be mine Janis: you're incapable of doing anything and not making it about yourself Grace: well I'm sorry Grace: all I've got is myself & I can't do this with you anymore Janis: no you're not Grace: yeah I am Janis: well save it Janis: one thing Janis: and it wasn't even me asking Grace: it was still you that ruined it Grace: for yourself Janis: if you like Grace: I don't Grace: but it's what's happened Janis: know negging is super effective on you but I'm not buying it Grace: I don't care Janis: I know Janis: so stop pretending you do Grace: I'm not pretending, I told you I can't do this with you anymore Grace: I'm not Grace: stay away, come back, I don't care Janis: lovely Grace: just actually leave me alone Janis: like I've said, this isn't about you Grace: & like I've said, I do not care Janis: sure Grace: I'm muting you now Janis: I sincerely don't care Janis: you are the last thing on my mind Grace: so glad Grace: 👋 Janis: if you were, you wouldn't feel the need to say it Janis: so go and stay gone because I have no energy for you now Grace: [is ignoring cos nothing more I can even say at this point]

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: Who won then? 🥊 Janis: But actual, you alright, yeah? Jimmy: you don't know me, I forgot Jimmy: 💪🏆 Janis: Nah, had money on you and everything Janis: 👍 glad to hear it Jimmy: feeling like a winner 'til I try & come back in from my 🚬 & find he's locked me out Jimmy: 👍 Janis: Truly your kryptonite Janis: Cass'd open a window for ya Jimmy: not if it means round 2 Jimmy: she's #overit Janis: Might go as far as to say #fakefan Janis: you know you can come here if you actually need Janis: probably don't mention me by name though Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Jimmy: yeah? Jimmy: who's about? Jimmy: not trying to walk in on a 🥊 with Gracie Janis: Get it, she's a lot when you ain't #overit yourself Janis: just her and my two younger brothers, who are really not gonna bother with you so Janis: get her under strict instructions, like Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: I'll let you know Janis: Try all the windows first, yeah Janis: Shoulda trained Twix to pick locks, my bad Jimmy: You literally had one job, mate Jimmy: get it together Janis: 😞 I know Janis: That's why he's really pissed, all that time I've been wasting when she coulda been a superdog by now Jimmy: you've let yourself down, that dog down & MOST importantly, you've let me down Jimmy: Oh Janet Janis: 💔 Janis: Really gonna think on what I've done Janis: and haven''t Jimmy: I woulda shown you the door if you hadn't legged it that way yourself sharpish Jimmy: so mad, like Janis: That's me, walk 'fore you make me run Janis: Soz to deprive you of that chance Janis: final fuck you, like Jimmy: if I come to yours, you gonna make it up to me? Janis: Obviously Janis: did you SO wrong gotta make it so right again, like Jimmy: I'll start walking now then Jimmy: Gotta make me hard done by enough for 🥇 Janis: Are you gonn get lost? Janis: 'cos get a safe enough distance from yours and I can come find you, like Jimmy: 💕 Janis: Not an answer, lover boy Jimmy: I don't know Jimmy: there you are Janis: Helpful Janis: Send out an SOS if you do then? Jimmy: 👌 Janis: He say anything you ain't heard at least 1000xs before then? Jimmy: nowt Jimmy: that'd mean he has to know what's going on Janis: Standard Janis: fun to pretend, we get it Jimmy: probably called you by the ex's name at one point Janis: Fair, he ain't asked and I ain't told but embarrassing for you sir Jimmy: he knows your name, Bobby ain't shut up 'bout you since the other day Jimmy: he loved it Janis: He's a babe Jimmy: ain't gonna stay like it living here & hearing that Janis: 😕 Janis: You're alright, ain't you Janis: just have to learn he's full of shit like you and Cass, like, which yeah Janis: shit Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: I know Janis: Grace's mood is catching Janis: 😷 Jimmy: what's with her? Jimmy: did Mia die? Janis: I WISH Janis: fuck mourning we'd be having a party rn Janis: they're not friends currently Janis: long and short of it Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Jimmy: gutted I got nowt on here to wipe my tears on Jimmy: out* Janis: I hope you put clothes on Janis: rookie error otherwise Jimmy: you didn't stick round long enough to take 'em off Jimmy: your rookie error Jimmy: not gonna ruin my fancy shit though, am I? Janis: you know I'm gutted Janis: you looked so Janis: 😍 Jimmy: [selfie] Jimmy: change the tense Jimmy: still do tah Janis: 💪 still got it, kid Janis: unlike your father Jimmy: what's more goals than a #glowup Janis: I've been cute since birth so I don't know 💁 Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: I'd say #same but there ain't that many 📷 of me to prove it Janis: I wish but you know Janis: kids are kinda my parent's thing so even at #7 & #8 they were disgustingly extra 😒 Jimmy: I get it Jimmy: I trapped mine, more of a 'happy' accident Jimmy: less fun to document maybe Janis: reckon most first kids are, second and third even but after that like Janis: you know what you're doing here Janis: just didn't have your 📷 skillz Janis: baby you judging Jimmy: yeah, on my list, top one Janis: List of grievances? Janis: stick it on his windshield as you go Jimmy: 👍 deal Janis: Twix says she wants to add her own Janis: screenshotting this convo for her obvs #justgirlythings Jimmy: 🤞 she'll piss in his shoes when I ain't there to take her out in the morning Janis: Will you 💕 her then? Janis: asking for a friend Jimmy: If it's a shit I might not kick her out Jimmy: tell your friend Janis: You want a companion out there in the cold, you just have to ask baby 🐶💕 Jimmy: alright Jimmy: I do Janis: I didn't wanna leave but you know, for the best obviously Janis: I'll come get you forreal Jimmy: go on then Jimmy: put your running to use Janis: It's got uses Janis: 💪 Janis: but k, lemme take this ugly ass dress off first Jimmy: why did you wear it if you hate it? Janis: for the #goals Janis: it felt appropriate so I knicked it Janis: just from one of my sisters, not that rich bitch stereotype Jimmy: that'd be more #goals Jimmy: steal me better clobber if you love me, tah Janis: 😍 when he slowly introduces you to a life of crime Janis: that's how I saw this date ending fosho Jimmy: for real though don't do it again Janis: Why? Jimmy: 'Cause I like you Jimmy: we want 'em to know that Jimmy: #asyouare and all that bollocks Janis: Okay Janis: miss you a bit Jimmy: so come get me Janis: I am Janis: not that fast Jimmy: get it together, girl Jimmy: sprint not a marathon Janis: 😑 Good thing you're cute Jimmy: slowing yourself down with ugly dresses & 😍 Jimmy: what ARE you playing at Janis: Mean Janis: gonna go cry myself to sleep now instead Jimmy: you want some classic FM? Jimmy: bit of 🎻 Janis: You are rude and me and Pete are gonna bond over it Jimmy: I hope he likes dogs Jimmy: gotta know his place in the pecking order Janis: Make him get a dog with me Janis: how #goals 😍 Jimmy: you gonna move it too or make him do all the work? Jimmy: in* Janis: Probs depends how much his fam hate me Jimmy: you going for 🥇? Jimmy: or is that just for me Janis: You know you're special, babe 😘 Jimmy: 💕 Janis: though feel bad for him, Gracie shaded him and didn't have the heart to tell her he's the love of my life 💔 Jimmy: feel worse if you did 'cause she'd be after him Janis: that's her type exclusively 😂 Jimmy: knew it Janis: plan backfired, she'll not leave you alone now, soz Jimmy: 💔💔 Jimmy: really fucked me over you Janis: I know Janis: Good thing you're chucking me init Jimmy: good thing it ain't raining too 'cause if I was waiting in that for a kiss that ain't coming Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻🎻 Janis: who said I ain't gona kiss ya Janis: not getting nothing out that date tah, who am I Jimmy: you not saving 'em all for Pete? bit rude Jimmy: & I bought you loads of drinks, rich girl Jimmy: that's not nowt Janis: I can have it all, babe Janis: including at least two lads on the go Janis: yeah that's braggable, got me drunk and didn't even try to fuck me 😒 Jimmy: It ain't braggable that you're a pisshead in love with my co-worker but here we are Janis: 😱 say how you really feel Janis: and I am not drunk how dare you Jimmy: do the touch your nose bollocks on your way Jimmy: send me the vid Janis: 😂 Janis: see that up on the 'gram be fuming Janis: I'm a sophisticated lady Jimmy: like I said, just don't dress like one again Janis: Did I look that bad? Jimmy: You looked good, you can't not Jimmy: but I could tell you didn't want it Janis: Not really my style but neither are dates Jimmy: You had a shit time then? Janis: Nah Janis: it was just like hanging out Janis: I don't know why I thought otherwise, maybe a real one is dead awks like everyone bangs on Jimmy: it is if you ain't got nowt to chat on Jimmy: or you don't eat Janis: 🙄 I can imagine Janis: what a waste of money above all else like just lemme fuck you why are we pretending Jimmy: they got money for the #flex Jimmy: not an issue for you rich kids Jimmy: harder pretending that you don't wanna/ain't gonna fuck before the main course Janis: calling me a slag tho Janis: ruuuuuuuuuuuude Jimmy: collective you Jimmy: I know you ain't Jimmy: Unless you were only a fake virgin Janis: now you calling me frigid Janis: yeah, what I always say Janis: like, alright love, 'course you are Jimmy: some lads are into that Jimmy: just wanna be the first instead of 🥇 Janis: mhmm Janis: what's sexier than total inexperience to mask your own lack of skillz Janis: not a drag Jimmy: it's why Mia's just lie there technique is so popular Jimmy: god bless Janis: Want me to start doing than from now on? Janis: okay Jimmy: Piss off do I Jimmy: I never said she's my type Jimmy: have said the opposite Janis: well I don't know what that means sexually Janis: you want me to tell you you look like alex turner in his prime or?? Jimmy: You're such a dickhead Jimmy: firstly I look better than him and secondly bollocks Jimmy: You know what I like Janis: 😂 Janis: Okay okay Janis: true and 🤞 true Jimmy: truest that you need to have a word with yourself if you don't reckon I love fucking you Janis: 😳 Jimmy: I miss you too, yeah Jimmy: more than Pete does anyway Janis: I don't think that was really a question Janis: but good to know I ain't walking all this way for nothing Jimmy: don't ever ask him Jimmy: stay with me Janis: I'm not going to, I don't like him Janis: I like you Jimmy: alright Janis: alright alright or shut up alright? Jimmy: alright Jimmy: I don't want you to shut up Jimmy: I told you, I miss you Janis: Sorry I left Jimmy: Sorry my dad's a fucking bellend Janis: Yeah same but not on my behalf Janis: no worries seriously Jimmy: 👍 Janis: Do you need anything, just passing a shop so be quick Jimmy: like what? Janis: I dunno Janis: you might have some fancy nighttime routines I'm not aware of Janis: or want some more 🚬s Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: you've stayed at mine loads, how you reckon you don't know what I'm up to? Jimmy: that's a good shout though fuck knows where I've walked to but been 🚬 all the way Jimmy: #goals like Janis: I'm just trying to be a good hostess 'scuse you Janis: I mean you do look hot doing it so Janis: cancer smancer gotta die somehow kid Jimmy: saves my dad a job Jimmy: & yeah I get it rich girl, your house is fancy, pick me up a ballgown or whatever Janis: Not if he wants to keep his free childcare, think on, like Janis: It ain't it's just big Janis: not fitting us all in a 2 up 2 down, think it thru Ma and Da Jimmy: You gonna introduce me? Janis: If you wanna Jimmy: not what I most wanna do but a bit rude if I just walk in like a horny mute Jimmy: only one of us is pulling that off babe Janis: SHUT UP 😫 Janis: you don't have to they won't care but if we see them Janis: hopefully I won't die of embarrassment Jimmy: calm down, Jenna Jimmy: don't wanna lose your voice Janis: you mean you don't want me to, boy Jimmy: maybe Janis: 😏 Janis: #blatant Janis: we can be as loud as we like, the only other person downstairs is my brother Diego and he's deaf so Janis: thanks kid, unexpected solid there Jimmy: for real or like how your hippie brother wished he was blind the other day Janis: IOU so much more than petrol money 😳 Jimmy: I fucked myself over mentioning that though Jimmy: can't stop thinking 'bout it now Janis: It was Janis: good Janis: really fucking good Jimmy: don't say owt more I'm trying to walk Janis: 😶 Janis: was though Jimmy: yeah I know Jimmy: & I wanted you so bad before I thought 'bout it Jimmy: I just did Janis: I know Janis: It's hard doing anything with you that isn't fucking Janis: you're just very distracting at all times Jimmy: You are Jimmy: hate you a bit Janis: hate you too Janis: 💕 Jimmy: 😘 Janis: got the 🚬s Janis: if I couldn't and they'd carded me that woulda been a fail Janis: #flex Jimmy: 🏆 Jimmy: so proud babe Janis: it's the legs Jimmy: & 'cause you ain't wearing that dress Jimmy: but tah for the reminder I'll try & breathe Janis: floral dresses defs a way to look 6 or 86 Janis: not a mood and the 20 year old with bum fluff serving me agrees Jimmy: he better not be agreeing too hard Jimmy: I'll give him a smack Jimmy was timed out 15 hours ago Jimmy joined the chat 14 hours ago Janis joined the chat 14 hours ago Janis: 😂 you're good at that bit Janis: the protective boyfriend Jimmy: don't take the piss Janis: It's okay, very #goals of you 😍 Jimmy: just 'cause I let you win one play fight Jimmy: don't mean I ain't hard, alright Janis: 😏 Mhmm Janis: so impressive, babe Jimmy: now it just sounds like you want me to fight him Jimmy: get your 📷 out Janis: Obviously Janis: I'm that bitch Janis: #proveyourself Jimmy: stay there then Jimmy: I'll find my way Jimmy: 👌 Janis: You're ridiculous Jimmy: nah #goals Jimmy: you already outed yourself, mate Jimmy: I know you want it Janis: 😒 piss off Janis: not my #goals Janis: theirs Janis: any sign that you care's'a huge pantydropper, obvs Jimmy: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: Poor Kev Jimmy: first name terms, yeah? Jimmy: back on your bollocks, Jasmine Janis: Only go for boys with nametags Janis: that's my secret Janis: would help you loads Jimmy: nowt secret 'bout it, love Janis: Calling me blatant? Janis: This was your plan, boy Jimmy: driving me to it, girl Janis: so 😠 yeah Jimmy: so 💪 Jimmy: I'll just spark him out & we'll go Janis: Nerd Jimmy: 😎 Jimmy: & you want me Janis: Maybe Janis: but you're coming for Kev Janis: 💔 Jimmy: I'm coming for you, baby Jimmy: show him you're #mine Janis: 😍😍😍 Jimmy: if I don't get lost Jimmy: nowt #goals 'bout me just wandering Janis: You're adorable Jimmy: piss off Janis: You are though Janis: how Janis: very rude of you Jimmy: rude of you to keep on when I'm trying to be tough Jimmy: & ain't even gonna mention that it's a bit cold Janis: Stop Janis: Ruining my rep here as well Jimmy: you alright? 'cause you ain't having my jacket, mate Jimmy: I don't like you that much Janis: Don't want it anyway Janis: back to looking 🔥 Janis: tah very much Jimmy: 💔💔 Jimmy: fucking brutal you Janis: can't have it both ways mate Jimmy: can I have you not shitting on my #aesthetic Janis: 😂 Janis: You must do something right Janis: not in #scruffy camp with poor Pete and the white girl w dreads Jimmy: chat to me 'bout that then Jimmy: you love calling me pretty Janis: Shh Jimmy: go on, I could be close to death here Janis: only if Kev fucks you up Janis: you really want the last thing I say to you to be you're pretty Jimmy: maybe Jimmy: what do you want your last words to me to be then? Janis: Not gonna spoil it Janis: wait and see Jimmy: I get it, you wanna call me a dickhead one last time Jimmy: 👍 Janis: You know you'd rather Jimmy: I'd rather you just kiss me Jimmy: if I'm gonna go anyway Janis: That's what I'll do then Janis: such a hardship for me, obvs but you know Janis: just that generous Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: why you're 🥇 Janis: Tell me that 'fore you go, alright Jimmy: I'll force the words out for you, darling Janis: Tryna walk here Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: where are you? 'cause I don't wanna walk anymore Jimmy: not for a bit Janis: Stay put and put your location on Janis: I'll find you Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: don't fuck it up Jimmy: one job, you know Janis: Please Janis: these are my ends, like it or not Jimmy: tell it to that bus driver you pissed off with your bollocks, babe Janis: 😒 Janis: still your fault Jimmy: yours Jimmy: unless you wake up looking different, always is Janis: convenient Janis: but not that mad about it Jimmy: I'm mad 'bout how slow you are Jimmy: what kind of athlete Janis: If you shut up I'll get there faster Janis: chatterbox Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: #shaded Janis: you know I like it when you're loud too Jimmy: you shoulda stayed for the 🥊 Jimmy: love shouting me Janis: Let your Da fully appreciate without my #distracting presence Jimmy: I'm sure he'll say tah when he next sees you Janis: 😏 Janis: I see you though, for now Jimmy: Can't see you, just some random Jimmy: dunno who she could be Janis: oh yeah? Janis: gonna go with her then or what Jimmy: might do Jimmy: she's got nice hair Jimmy: & legs Janis: she looking your way? Janis: [is, duh] Jimmy: good eyes too I reckon Janis: Sounds like you're well in Jimmy: sorry mate means you're out Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Janis: Gutted Janis: gonna leave for you start making a scene then Jimmy: It's been #real Janis: 😂 Jimmy: [kisses her really intensely 'cause they gotta save this night] Janis: What was that for? Jimmy: job well done? Jimmy: you got here Janis: your faith in me was so encouraging, obvs 🙄 Jimmy: [kisses her again so he don't say something embarrassing about how much faith he has cos no boy] Janis: You're cute, boy Janis: come back to mine Jimmy: I will just Jimmy: gimme a Janis: [Kisses him] Janis: that? Jimmy: & a sec Jimmy: so I can Jimmy: [kisses her again too 'cause distract him from how much a prick his dad is thank you babe] Janis: We don't have to go there straight away Janis: whatever you want, within the confines of this shithole, obvs Jimmy: you know I want you Jimmy: I don't care Janis: [amps it up no chill ever lads] Jimmy: [Takes off his coat & puts it on the floor so they can lie on it & pulls her down onto it for more kisses 'cause same] Janis: Such a romantic, you Jimmy: 💕 Janis: Need a car Janis: making dogging low-rent us and that's saying something Jimmy: I'll nick one for us Jimmy: give you those life of crime goals Janis: 😍 damn daddy Janis: I'm driving though, deal with it Jimmy: I'll take my dad's then Jimmy: no 💔 if you crash it Janis: 'scuse you Janis: I can drive bitch Jimmy: only got your word for that, Janet Jimmy: & ain't gonna be your bitch if you can Janis: 👎 boo Janis: hit up all the other 15 y/os that'll blow me for lifts if you gonna be like that Jimmy: [kisses her to shut her up] Jimmy: what if that's how I'm gonna be? Jimmy: what you gonna do? Janis: Hmm Janis: Lemme think Jimmy: [more kisses while she's thinking] Janis: You drive a hard bargain Janis: alright, we can still be mates Jimmy: yeah very hard me Jimmy: told you Janis: Prove it Jimmy: [pins her down in a sexy way for a hot make out sesh] Janis: I really missed you Janis: it wasn't even that long but everything is shit and boring when you ain't around Jimmy: I'd say prove it, but I reckon you have Janis: [Proves it some more, get up and go lads] Jimmy: I Jimmy: fucking hell Jimmy: we need to go Jimmy: or I'm just gonna fuck you here Janis: as much as I don't care Janis: all your Da needs is actual fuel to hate me more so Janis: let's avoid getting arrested tonight, like Jimmy: [helps her up and turns it into a hug 'cause he needs one not sorry] Janis: [Hugs back properly and for ages 'cos knows it] Janis: Come on then Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: [morning after but later when he's at work not early af when he left] Jimmy: Morning, Jillian Jimmy: how's it treating you? Janis: Impressed you managed to walk of shame without getting lost Janis: lowkey bit miffed you hmu, thought I'd finally got rid of ya when you weren't here, like but Janis: how 'bout you regardless Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: I'll go then Jimmy: reckoned you'd wanna know it's dickhead day here at the CG so you could get yourself down Jimmy: had 'em all in, my dad included Janis: Serious Janis: how desperate and shaming, sir Janis: other places to get an overpriced espresso Jimmy: but nowhere you can get away with treating your server like shit & still get to finish Janis: 😒 Janis: so hard up for entertainment he had to have 'round two, like Janis: fuck off Jimmy: so desperate for proof of life after one night gone he can't accept a fuck you text like a normal person at that time of the morning Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: Suddenly arsed, okay Jimmy: I can go anywhere I want as long as I end up under his roof Jimmy: on me own Janis: 👍 Assuming he wanted to go meet his newest then Janis: all fun Jimmy: tah for reminding me Jimmy: family dinner thursday Jimmy: come looking like the #badinfluence you are babe Janis: Yeah? Janis: knew he loved me 😏 Jimmy: I'm inviting you 'cause I do Jimmy: & you owe me that Janis: so you want me to piss your Dad off more? Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: & let his girlfriend now what she's getting into Jimmy: know* Jimmy: if she's gonna stick around for more than a night Jimmy: Me & Cass will do our bit, not all on you Janis: Alright Janis: Solid plan Janis: I'm in Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: he's cooking, tell your dad & maybe we can get that shit cancelled before it happens Janis: 😂 Janis: no one wants to make it that much of a family affair Janis: be more horrified and can't really blame him Jimmy: 💔 all around Janis: deffo the mood he's going for Jimmy: I know you're not into it but if you could seduce this bird it'd save me a job Janis: what's she look like Janis: you know yet Jimmy: nah Jimmy: could try & guess based on the last but he really ain't fussy Jimmy: or as committed to a #type as you reckon I am Janis: She ain't got at least 5 piercings and you out Janis: take one for the team Jimmy: tah Janis: be #troubling if she was your type Janis: next step in a midlife crisis surely, younger woman Jimmy: easier for me to fake date her & 💔 him though Janis: Beats the cliche of him stealing your girlfriend Janis: very porn plot this Jimmy: 😂 Janis: 🤞 MILF Jimmy: as long as she ain't got any kids Jimmy: the last one did & she was always trying to organise playdates Janis: Eurgh Janis: own siblings are bad enough Jimmy: didn't have a hot teenage daughter or nowt Jimmy: step it up, Valerie Janis: Un🍀 Jimmy: what you doing with your day? Janis: Gotta start prep now, obvs Janis: whole military operation you know Janis: give a bitch 3-5 working days notice next time Jimmy: you've got a bit Jimmy: not like its tomorrow Jimmy: 🥇 yeah Janis: 😭😭😭 Janis: NO JIMMY Janis: gonna look such a state now OMG Jimmy: just don't borrow owt from your sister & you won't have anything to bond with our honored guest over Jimmy: job done Janis: 🙄 she probably has a moodboard waiting for the day, like Jimmy: #sisterbonding Jimmy: how goals Janis: piss off Janis: defs don't owe you that much Jimmy: I'm gonna owe you loads of compensation for the cancer 'cause of all the 🚬 we gotta do Jimmy: my dad hates when I leave the table for it Jimmy: #deathwishinalltheways Janis: 😂 Janis: how many ways can you show him up Janis: challenge forreal Jimmy: wait 'til I start touching you up under the table, mate Jimmy: he's gonna be livid Janis: 😳 Janis: boy Jimmy: you turning down the challenge already? Janis: 'Course not Janis: #dedicated Jimmy: 🥇 Jimmy: why I like you Janis: Who else gonna come family dinner and fuck shit up, like Janis: duh Jimmy: If I told them I'll do more than play footsie with 'em probably a fair few lasses but Janis: shut up Janis: nuuh Jimmy: you shut up Jimmy: I want you to do it Janis: 🙄 Janis: whatever Jimmy: whatever yourself, dickhead Janis: 🖕 Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: you love yourself so much, like Janis: 😏 Jimmy: & that's what you like 'bout me Janis: Sure Janis: no convincing you otherwise so ain't wasting my breath Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻🎻 Janis: lucky you ain't here Janis: 🥊 Jimmy: 💔 gutted I ain't 😍😍😍 Janis: Pervert Jimmy: won't tell you how adorable you look when you sleep then 😘 Janis: Good Janis: I ain't adorable don't be trying to spread that about Janis: cheek Jimmy: 👼 you Janis: Actually such a wind-up merchant Janis: ugh Jimmy: you love it, Jennifer Janis: Hmm clearly Janis: or I'm a sucker for the pain Jimmy: I get it, you're hurting being away from me Janis: yeah, every minute feels like an hour, babe Janis: 'specially the more you chat on Jimmy: I know Jimmy: It really aches, yeah Jimmy: you just Jimmy: need me Janis: don't make me actually miss you Janis: gotta get things done today, like Janis: can't stay in bed waiting and dreaming 😏 Jimmy: 💔💔 Janis: I know Janis: rich girl fantasy Jimmy: it ain't my top one but it's the easiest for you to get done Jimmy: no effort like Janis: Tick it off my to-do list Janis: hmu with the rest Jimmy: I can't if I ain't allowed to miss you Janis: not on the clock, has your manager put a ban on Janis: Pete so highkey Janis: bless Jimmy: 😂 Janis: would love to run the place into the ground to piss off my sister but not gonna fuck w ur funds like that Janis: bit rude Jimmy: fuck it school starts soon Jimmy: go on Jimmy: 👍 Janis: that much of a dickhead day yeah Janis: poor boy Jimmy: blasting classic FM Jimmy: full orchestra mood Janis: 🤓 Jimmy: 😎 Janis: So cute how you dellude yourself Janis: 💕 Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: you're meant to be making me feel not shit Jimmy: one job, like Janis: 😘 love you Jimmy: only works if you 😗 me in person Janis: you want me to come in later Jimmy: do you wanna? Jimmy: shit to do, yeah Janis: Not THAT much shit Janis: girl gotta eat Jimmy: in it for the smoothies Jimmy: & bacon sarnies Janis: what else? 🤷 Jimmy: pay up then, rich girl Janis: That's how it is now, yeah? Janis: gonna hit me with a massive tab to pay Jimmy: it's out of control Jimmy: sort it out, mate Jimmy: 👌 Janis: thought you was adding it to my sister's Janis: actually 💔 Jimmy: I will from now on Jimmy: least I know I'll get it Janis: 😱 Janis: invite her to dinner if she's so reliable Jimmy: the IT couple would like her too much Jimmy: nah tah Jimmy: not the plan Janis: 🖕 Jimmy: take the compliment Janis: your grasp on compliments needs work Jimmy: alright dickhead Jimmy: calm down Jimmy: what do you wanna hear? Janis: nothing Jimmy: I'll piss off then Janis: 👍 Jimmy: what? Janis: Don't matter Janis: forget about it Jimmy: don't be faking there's nowt wrong now Jimmy: what Janis: Seriously, it's nothing Janis: it just pisses me off when everyone chats how nice she is Jimmy: I weren't Jimmy: I was saying she's #basic & so are they Janis: yeah Janis: it's fine then Jimmy: is it? Jimmy: bring some enthusiasm with you into it Janis: 😒 Janis: don't push it Jimmy: don't chat that it's fine if it ain't Janis: oh my god Janis: boy Jimmy: you're testing me, girl Janis: shut up Janis: haven't you got a shitty customer to go deal with or something Jimmy: yeah but your bollocks takes priority Janis: feel so special Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: & stop Janis: alright Janis: later then yeah Jimmy: 👌 Janis: am i coming at lunch or nah Jimmy: do you wanna or nah? Janis: so helpful Janis: yeah whatever Janis: gym is close anyway and that's where I'm headed next so Jimmy: 👍 Janis: bring some enthusiasm with you Jimmy: saving it for when you show up Jimmy: gotta give the fans what they want Janis: 'course Janis: that's what really counts Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: I'll have my 😍😍 fixed & ready like Jimmy: too much enthusiasm for the CG Janis: That's just your customer service style Janis: I be knowing Jimmy: ask your sister Jimmy: it ain't Janis: 💔 -her Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Janis: such a heartbreaker boy Jimmy: hit my ex up Jimmy: she'll chat on it for ages Janis: well you had to do something pretty bad for her to steal your man Janis: figured Jimmy: 'course Janis: 💀 Jimmy: did you just die? Jimmy: no warning, tah Janis: the conversation did Janis: but good to know I gotta give you my notice 'fore I kms Janis: wasn't clear in the deal Jimmy: write me a letter Jimmy: it'll look great on the 'gram Janis: 😂 Janis: gonna fully blame you and ruin your life from beyond the grave Jimmy: figured Jimmy: already said ages ago what a nightmare you are Janis: I remember Janis: twat Jimmy: #inspo for your note then Janis: what you being annoying for Jimmy: Me? Jimmy: you Janis: No I ain't Jimmy: actually piss off then Janis: Fuck you Jimmy: nah Jimmy: you won't Janis: Very mature Jimmy: soz I didn't realise I'd added my dad to the chat Jimmy: hang on Janis: 😑 Janis: There's no point even trying right now is there Jimmy: do you even wanna try making that sound like a question Janis: What have I done Jimmy: nowt Jimmy: it's all me Jimmy: we established that Janis: 🙄 Janis: Yeah go on then Janis: if it makes you feel better Janis: go for your life Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: tah for the permission Janis: So welcome Jimmy: felt it Janis: What? Jimmy: so welcoming you Janis: Yeah fuck me for inviting you 'round Janis: what a nightmare Jimmy: leave it out Janis: whatever Janis: not gonna force you to be grateful Janis: not what it was Jimmy: why say it then? Jimmy: sounds like that is what you want, rich girl Janis: no Janis: it ain't Janis: I want you to stop being like this but I ain't gonna beg Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: could've been hot but alright Janis: it ain't funny Janis: shut up Jimmy: I told you to piss off Jimmy: how many times do I have to? Janis: I can do what I want Janis: mute me if you're so arsed Jimmy: you're so good at that yourself Jimmy: no need Janis: Ha Janis: good one Jimmy: not just a #prettyface Jimmy: why I kill in tips Janis: Obviously Janis: not your coffee Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: book your slot for comedy open mic, babe Janis: Too much like work Janis: with this bank account? Janis: fuck off Jimmy: must've got you confused with my other fake girlfriend again Jimmy: soz Janis: maybe one day you'll get a real one and she'll help you keep track Jimmy: if I get a real one there's no room for fake Jimmy: job done Janis: Rooting for you Jimmy: again, no need Jimmy: 💪🏆 Janis: Do it then Jimmy: what are you trying to challenge me for? Jimmy: if I wanted one we wouldn't be here Janis: Nah Jimmy: what? Janis: I said what I said Jimmy: & I didn't understand it Jimmy: so Janis: Call it a language barrier Jimmy: just tell me what you're going on about Janis: Why would I want to Janis: more to take the piss outta me for, yeah, no tah Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: Exactly Jimmy: if you can say something once & act like you stand by it you can say it again so I get it Janis: Why don't you want a girlfriend then Jimmy: why would I? Jimmy: got enough going on Janis: Okay Jimmy: you wanna try that again? Jimmy: weren't convinced Janis: Shut up Janis: how is it any less time consuming fake dating then Jimmy: it ain't Jimmy: but we've got a deal Janis: It can be done Jimmy: is that what you want? Janis: I probably won't come out of it looking the best but I'll make it work Jimmy: not what I asked, was it Janis: Think what you want about me but I'm not trying to make your life harder Janis: let's get that straight Jimmy: what the fuck are you thinking if you reckon that's what I'm saying Jimmy: never did Janis: Are you serious, you literally just did Janis: you've got enough on, it's time-consuming Janis: don't act like I've pulled it out my arse Jimmy: nah you've just twisted it on the exit out Jimmy: I ain't got time to go looking for a girlfriend is what I said Janis: You would if you weren't doing this Jimmy: maybe but I am doing it Jimmy: I told you, we've got a deal Jimmy: I'm not just fucking off out of it Janis: Well I said you could Janis: you can't choose to keep doing it and make it my fault when I've given you an out Jimmy: well I don't want to Jimmy: & nowts your fault so shut up Janis: that ain't how it feels Jimmy: how's it feel then? Janis: like you're taking every opportunity to remind me of how much of a fucking hardship it is and how badly you don't wanna do it Jimmy: come on Jimmy: you know that ain't how it is Janis: That's how you're being Janis: how it seems Janis: which is pretty fucking shitty considering Jimmy: considering what? Jimmy: you let me in your big, fancy house or have we moved on to summat else now? Janis: Don't Janis: Obviously not Jimmy: don't what, tell you how you made it sound? Jimmy: like you did some huge fucking favor to me Janis: That's not what I meant Janis: but by that point you'd had several digs at me already Janis: so yeah, maybe it came out a bit harsh, if I recall you were saying just how welcoming I was and that was just the last of Jimmy: 'cause you were having a massive strop from the sec I mentioned your sister Jimmy: instead of just taking the compliment Janis: That's no excuse to say some of the shit you said is it Jimmy: I don't have any excuses Jimmy: just Janis: Fine Jimmy: don't say it's fine when it isn't Jimmy: I fucked it up, alright Jimmy: just like he wants me to Janis: I know you're having a shit time of it with your Dad, that's what I'm saying, I'm not trying to 'cause more problems Janis: if it stops being worth it on your end you don't have to keep doing it, it's not that important, my rep was for shit anyway so Jimmy: don't go Jimmy: that's important to me Janis: is it Jimmy: you know you make everything less shit Jimmy: so I need you, okay Janis: but you said Janis: no Janis: okay Jimmy: what did I say? Jimmy: go on Jimmy: you can Janis: I don't even know how you said it now or when in this convo and I don't want to reread but Janis: I was saying it was shitty to say all the things you did considering you fucked me and are still fucking me, like Janis: don't have to be my best mate but like Janis: can you not Janis: okay Jimmy: I'm sorry Jimmy: for real Jimmy: I'm not just saying it Jimmy: & I shouldn't have said what I did Jimmy: I get it if you don't like me anymore Janis: Don't be stupid Janis: I said some things, even if I didn't mean it that's still how it came out so Janis: sorry too and let's just Janis: move on yeah Jimmy: maybe I am Jimmy: stupid Janis: No you're not Janis: being it but we all do and it's excusable given, alright Jimmy: I really wanna be with you Jimmy: I should've just skipped & stayed Jimmy: I didn't reckon on him actually showing up Janis: I wasn't expecting that either Janis: I mean, devil's advocate and don't shoot me, guess it shows he cares on some level Janis: even if it's for the wrong, selfish reasons, idk Janis: trying to make him seem not like a total twat is hard Jimmy: you don't have to Jimmy: just try and forget what a total twat I am Janis: You're not though Janis: unfortunate, be easier to ignore with the rest then but you aren't Jimmy: are you at the gym? Jimmy: I'm gonna leave Janis: I didn't get there in the end Janis: do you want to come back here or Janis: I wasn't showing off, or trying to Janis: that ain't me, I know I'm rich and whatever but Jimmy: let me come back Jimmy: 'cause I know that Jimmy: I was just being a dickhead after he was to me Janis: I get it Janis: I should've been nicer Janis: I'm not good at all this Jimmy: nah you are Jimmy: don't be a doormat to me Jimmy: I don't want it Janis: If I'd been less of a dickhead to begin with we might not have got to this point though but Jimmy: you've always been a dickhead Jimmy: I like it Jimmy: I like you Janis: I like you too Janis: it Janis: it's not just a deal to me okay Jimmy: don't just say that to make me feel better Janis: I ain't Janis: I didn't think you'd wanna hear it so literal opposite of what I was reckoning but Jimmy: you're Jimmy: I dunno Jimmy: too good for me & this bollocks probably Janis: Nah Janis: anyway, I want to too Janis: I'm not gonna just piss off, yeah Janis: sorry about it Jimmy: be my real girlfriend then Janis: what Jimmy: you heard Jimmy: I said what I said Janis: Yeah and it's a total 180 to like everything you just said so Janis: hold on, like Jimmy: alright, shut up Janis: are YOU saying what you think I wanna hear now Jimmy: don't be a dickhead Jimmy: I'm saying what I wanna say Jimmy: don't make me feel weird about it Janis: sorry Janis: just checking Janis: okay then Jimmy: yeah? Jimmy: 'cause I'm coming to your house right now so be sure, tah Jimmy: hung up my apron & everything Janis: 💔 for the apron moment Janis: yeah, I'm sure Jimmy: I can keep it on if you're that into it Jimmy: take me a sec to go back & grab it & I'll get some weird looks but Janis: 😏 you're ridiculous Jimmy: you got me now so get used to the #craic Janis: God you're so cute, shut up Jimmy: will you come with me later to make sure everyone's alright at mine? your true love 🐶 included? Janis: Yeah Janis: 'course I will Jimmy: before my dad gets back, I'm not an animal Jimmy: you don't have to deal with that Janis: Don't worry, if it gives all of you an easier life, I'm happy to avoid him Jimmy: if only Jimmy: if it ain't you it's owt else Janis: 😕 yeah Janis: I'll climb up the drainpipe when I miss you, it's fine 💪 Jimmy: you're so hot Jimmy: can't even remember what I was feeling like before Jimmy: just 😍 now Janis: You know I like sleeping with you Janis: I mean actual sleeping Jimmy: you should stop growing though Jimmy: it's really gonna fuck us over Janis: Yeah, imagine it's easier with Bobs Jimmy: coffee stunts your growth, babe Jimmy: just saying Jimmy: if you really wanna make life easiier Janis: think of my basketball career Janis: someone should've warned Gracie, no catching up now love Jimmy: believe me i'm 💔 Jimmy: the potential those legs coulda had Jimmy: yours not hers Janis: 😂 speedy recovery like for the love of God don't start up again bitch Jimmy: you know Jimmy: don't want you dumping me when we only just got together for real Janis: You wish Janis: no chance, mate Jimmy: 🤞 Jimmy: scared enough tah Jimmy: always chatting 'bout how much you're gonna fuck me up Janis: 1. you love it Janis: 2. how nice am I to you actually, fuck the chat Jimmy: 1. your house takes ages to get to, owt could happen Jimmy: 2. see #1 Janis: Have a little faith, boy Jimmy: I told you, Jesus don't live with us, girl Jimmy: much as I'd love to make him pay his share Janis: 😏 he died for YOUR sins Janis: yours specifically Jimmy: I ain't done nowt wrong a day in my life Jimmy: bit rude Janis: Come here and start then Janis: Loser Jimmy: VERY rude Jimmy: 1. 🥇 Jimmy: 2. I want you so bad right now don't say shit like that Janis: 1. team Janis: 2. try and stop me now I've got every right to want you as much as I do Jimmy: 3. alright but I reckon this is the same bus driver so if you keep turning me on he's gonna think I love him Janis: 4. already tryna get an old man involved Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: don't kink shame me Jimmy: not very goals Janis: fine bring with but I ain't touching him Jimmy: I'm pretty sure he just likes to watch Jimmy: definitely remembers me Janis: Gonna have to be a solo show for now Janis: don't disappoint Jimmy: don't tempt me Jimmy: I miss you Jimmy: being back here ain't helping Janis: how and why does that feel like ages ago Janis: i wanted you so badly Jimmy: 'cause I've fucked you so many times since then Jimmy: keep wanting me, alright Janis: 🤤 Janis: done Janis: you're Janis: i don't know but whatever you are you're a lot of it Jimmy: stop Jimmy: I don't want to get arrested for being a horny mute Jimmy: especially when I fuck up the last bit Janis: He likes it, he's not gonna call Garda Jimmy: not gonna like it when I say your name though Janis: sure he would, he just likes to watch Janis: remembers me too, like Jimmy: might think I'm cheating Jimmy: girl of so many names you Janis: brought that on yourself, boy Janis: surprised you haven't said the wrong one during Jimmy: It ain't my fault I can't read Janis: can't stop shaming you can i Janis: how rude Jimmy: 💔💔 Jimmy: I get it though, trying to turn me from horny to heartbroken Jimmy: tah babe Janis: Poor baby Janis: switch it up on you and make you feel all better when you get here Jimmy: I'm so mad at you for being able to touch yourself if you want Jimmy: bit rude Janis: 😏 Janis: i mean you could but you're 🐔 Jimmy: think carefully before you lay that challenge down Jimmy: you know I'll do it Janis: I know I want you to do it but Janis: are you up for the REAL challenge of not getting caught Jimmy: only but now is how bad do you want me to Jimmy: 'cause of course I am Jimmy: taught me everything I need to know, didn't you? Are YOU doubting your techniques? Janis: 'Course I'm not, I told you, I never got caught Janis: I want you to do it Janis: this bad [nude] Jimmy: alright, you have to do it too though & try to be caught Jimmy: that's your challenge Janis: Jesus Janis: Okay Jimmy: how are we gonna prove this? Janis: Record it? Jimmy: I already can't think properly Jimmy: no shit Jimmy: 👌 Janis: Step in the right direction Janis: you don't need to think at all, just feel Jimmy: it's your fault, sending me that pic Jimmy: now I'm just Jimmy: feeling a lot Janis: You're welcome for the headstart I gave you Janis: I had to put my clothes back on and find a place I could get caught Jimmy: feeling left out? like it's too much of a challenge? Jimmy: Let me help you Jimmy: [sends own pics of how turned on he is] Janis: Fuck Janis: see, you have to touch yourself Janis: that is too good to waste Jimmy: if anyone does catch me I'll tell them it's a #medicalemergency Jimmy: but they won't Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: I'll cosign it babe Janis: why we have to fuck so much, yeah? Jimmy: feel free to use the excuse when you get rumbled Jimmy: female hysteria, yeah Janis: Not aftr that rant from my Ma as pillowtalk Jimmy: where are you anyway? Janis: Outside Janis: Nice day and it reminds me of the times we've nearly Jimmy: shit Jimmy: I should not have asked Jimmy: that's Janis: You'll see when you watch my video won't you Janis: do my best with the angles Jimmy: likewise Jimmy: fuck me outside when we won't get caught, alright Janis: You know you're so talented Janis: gonna be #art Janis: Yes, I want that Jimmy: You're #art Jimmy: tonight then 🤞 Janis: Definitely Janis: at yours or mine Jimmy: less people to catch us at mine Jimmy: but 'cause you're in your garden now I wanna do it there Janis: We can do it right here Janis: x marks the spot Jimmy: I want to Jimmy: real challenge is me doing you better than you can Janis: That's no challenge come on Jimmy: bit rude to yourself that Jimmy: I know you're good, babe Janis: You're better Janis: so much better Jimmy: I can't take that compliment right now Jimmy: I've got a challenge not to fail Jimmy: can't if I die Janis: Well if I get caught I might get murdered so Janis: see you in Hell baby Jimmy: 👍 Janis: How hard are you biting your lip right now? Jimmy: you'll see if I've got my angles Jimmy: but fuck Jimmy: I can really feel it Janis: it hurts good right? Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: it'll feel even better when you kiss me later Janis: I'll be so gentle Janis: 'til I can't Jimmy: never gonna be mad 'bout you losing control Janis: Good because Janis: This feels incredible Jimmy: I wanna know exactly how it feels Jimmy: but I don't wanna put you off Janis: I'm doing this for you, Jimmy Janis: I want to tell you Jimmy: yeah but typing & filming Jimmy: you need some control for that Jimmy: you're meant to lose it all Janis: I'm using talk and type already Janis: One step ahead Jimmy: I'm mad that I have to be sneaky & you don't Jimmy: I want Janis: What do you want? Jimmy: I wanna just Jimmy: let go too Janis: You can Jimmy: I can't Jimmy: so tell me what it's like Janis: It's like Janis: my hearts already beating fast because of how turned on I am but then it's going insane because I know anyone could see me, hear me, right now Janis: I feel like I could pass out Jimmy: I reckon you could hear mine on this recording 'cause I'm making no sound Jimmy: trying not to breathe too loud even Janis: You're so good Janis: You can totally lose control when you get here Janis: and tonight Jimmy: I have to with you Jimmy: nowt else I can Janis: Yeah? Jimmy: you know it Jimmy: you're Jimmy: gonna be the death of me Janis: I can't help it Janis: You're Janis: there's so much I want to do with you Jimmy: we can Jimmy: you're my girlfriend now you can just Janis: say that again Jimmy: what? Janis: say I'm your girlfriend again Jimmy: you are Jimmy: you're my girlfriend, Janis Janis: you're gonna know when you said that when you see this Jimmy: 🤞 Jimmy: bit awkward if I don't Janis: Trust Janis: How did that nearly get me off Jimmy: I better not chat 'bout how long I wanted to ask you then Janis: Tell me Janis: You gotta talk in here so you keep 😶 Jimmy: it's been ages Jimmy: before you made us miss our stop, like Janis: You mean it Jimmy: you don't think so? Janis: I believe you Janis: I just Janis: I dunno how this happened Jimmy: at the party I just Jimmy: there was so much shit I wanted to say Jimmy: I thought I was just drunk but Janis: I remember Janis: I felt it as well Janis: you can tell me anything you want Jimmy: I got drunk hoping I would just tell you Jimmy: I don't know Jimmy: & so I could be around you & not be a dickhead Janis: I love hanging out with you Janis: I just do Janis: it never felt fake Jimmy: yeah but I reckoned you were faking it Jimmy: for a bit Janis: I'm not Janis: I mean, I don't have friends for a reason Janis: I keep people away Janis: I wasn't used to any of it, so I didn't think I would like you or anything, that it'd be easy to fake and feel nothing butt Jimmy: I get it, the only reason I had friends back home is 'cause I'd always had that same group since I was well younger Jimmy: they wouldn't go away Jimmy: I tried Janis: Yeah Janis: exactly Janis: you have to be a real cunt to get them to go, it's not fun Jimmy: I was Jimmy: & still Jimmy: but I don't want you to go Jimmy: don't Janis: Clearly, I'm a better actor than you #humblebrag #sorry Janis: I won't Janis: where am I going Jimmy: hollywood maybe Janis: unless I accidentally post this vid and make it big Jimmy: you better not 'cause then I'd have to post mine as a one up Jimmy: twitter already can't handle me Janis: not for moral support nor nothing, just gotta upstage me Janis: take the clout of how many times I've said your name already and be happy 'cos I can't handle you either Jimmy: fuck Jimmy: it's getting really hard to be subtle Janis: you aren't subtle, that's what I like about you Jimmy: you might, the rest of the passengers won't Jimmy: not if I touch myself how I really want Jimmy: they're all gonna notice then Janis: they've seen worse on the bus, like Janis: not like you aren't the literal most drop dead gorgeous boy around Janis: appreciate and enjoy, people Jimmy: Janis Jimmy: you're really not helping me win here Jimmy: different challenges, remember? Janis: 😈 Janis: Losing can be fun Janis: I'm finding out Jimmy: You're not gonna lose Jimmy: someone's gonna catch you Jimmy: come on Janis: why does that make me hornier what the fuck Jimmy: You want it Jimmy: baby come on Jimmy: you can do it Janis: Jimmy Jimmy: I know Jimmy: do it for me, yeah Janis: Yes Janis: Holy Jimmy: cum Jimmy: we can together Janis: I want you to cum on my face tonight, will you, please Janis: that's what I'm thinking about, and how much of a mess you're gonna be when you get here Jimmy: like I said, you're my girlfriend now Jimmy: we can do anything Janis: that's tipped me over the edge Jimmy: it's alright Janis: Oh Jesus who just pulled up Jimmy: you're winning, girl Janis: I don't think I can move Janis: this is Jimmy: so stay Janis: Okay Janis: Shit Jimmy: who is it? Janis: My Dad Janis: my brother is with him, Pablo Jimmy: at least it's not Grace Jimmy: then you'd have to move Jimmy: can't give her a captive audience Janis: More terrifying caught than them noticing me right now Janis: *thought whoops Jimmy: what do you look like? Jimmy: help me picture it Janis: Okay, so, I'm laying on the grass with my knees up, and I just have a baggy t-shirt on and I had my knickers around my ankles but I quickly took them all the way off when I heard them so now I'm just holding them in my right hand and they're soaked, I must be so pink and embarrassed, I'm literally out of breath, it's so obvious Jimmy: oh Jimmy: let me know if they decide to stop and say hi then Janis: They better not, I'm holding it back, but I really need to cum again Janis: I know I can't be quiet Jimmy: 🥇 Jimmy: I believe in you Janis: Jimmy tell me what to do Janis: this hurts, I don't know if they're staying or going or what Jimmy: don't wait for 'em to stop pissing 'bout Jimmy: do what you gotta do Jimmy: make yourself quiet this time, you already won Janis: Yeah I did Janis: you're Janis: actually the best boyfriend Jimmy: it's cause you're my #muse Jimmy: so inspiring Jimmy: never more than now Janis: So cute Jimmy: if I could I'd draw you exactly like this Jimmy: You're actually art, you know Janis: that's what 📸 are for Janis: but I cannot deal with all these compliments right now Jimmy: you have to Jimmy: 'cause you said I could tell you anything I want Jimmy: & you're like properly beautiful Janis: Baby Jimmy: I wanna know you & I don't wanna know anyone Jimmy: hate you a bit for it but Janis: Sorry Janis: but I feel it too Jimmy: It's alright, I really like you too Jimmy: we can still be goals Janis: we are Janis: undeniably Janis: even the haters are obsessed Jimmy: did you check your bushes for Mia before you started fucking yourself? Probably should've Janis: even the idea of accidentally getting her off by-proxy isn't enough to turn me off right now Janis: though I would've ideally been way more rough Jimmy: you need to keep going 'cause that's the horniest anyone has or could ever have been Janis: 😂 I told you it was bad Jimmy: I'm not far away Jimmy: we can sort this Janis: My hero Jimmy: gonna make you swoon dramatically, yeah Janis: Better be planning on making me do more than that, boy Jimmy: I don't need a plan Jimmy: I know what to do Janis: You really fucking do Jimmy: 1. is fucking you with my tongue for a bit 'cause as hello's go, top one Jimmy: if you can stay conscious I'll show you what 2. is Janis: 😩 You know how hard I'm gonna cum right, like, be prepared Janis: your tongue is Jimmy: I want it & you want it Jimmy: don't worry Janis: Why are you perfect Janis: and how Jimmy: I ain't Jimmy: I'm just a good boyfriend Jimmy: you'll see Janis: I believe it Janis: but I look forward to knowing Jimmy: leave your review under my pillow as part of the Dear John to soften the blow when you dump me Janis: Hush Jimmy: I don't have to now Jimmy: challenge is over Jimmy: video now or later? Janis: Hmm Janis: Later, I wanna watch it with you here, preferably when you're going down on me Janis: can have a review then Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: gives me time to edit so I look pretty how you like 😏 Jimmy: gonna give myself anime eyes or some shit 😂 Janis: You always look pretty, you just are, it's rude Janis: we've all jacked it to hentai, ain't too proud, try me but please don't 😂 Jimmy: this is why you're girlfriend material Jimmy: 👍 Janis: 😏

[punkscowardschampions]

Nancy & Rio

Nancy: You're with him right now, aren't you? Nancy: With how that convo just went you're gonna need to be Rio: Oh Rio: No, I'm actually at work but I can go back if I need to Nancy: It's me giving fair warning, it's up to you Rio: I don't know what to say Nancy: Me either Rio: This isn't how we wanted this to go down Rio: but I guess there's no speech that would prepare anyone, yeah? Nancy: Unlikely Nancy: You're the only ones who had any time to prepare and you're struggling, like Rio: It's just Rio: if it was anyone else, we wouldn't have to make this big thing of it, it feels awkward Rio: I know it isn't anyone else and that's the point but it doesn't take away from that feeling Nancy: Well, I'm glad you feel awkward too 'cause it's fucking weird Nancy: And he doesn't care at all so Rio: It's just hard for him to hear that Rio: it doesn't feel it Nancy: I literally don't understand this Nancy: You hate him Rio: Well Rio: I don't Rio: It's a headfuck, I know Nancy: Do you? Rio: Yeah Rio: This is why this is the last way we wanted this to come out Nancy: Like there's a better one Nancy: It's still Rio: You can say it, whatever you want Nancy: I've slagged him off to you so many times and the whole time you've Rio: It's not like I've been repeating it, I promise Nancy: That's not even the issue Nancy: God, this is so strange Rio: What is? Like, your main issues personally anyway Nancy: I don't have words for any of this Nancy: We grew up together, all of us, and then me and him drifted but it was okay 'cause so did you and him Nancy: You understood what he was like instead of falling under his spell like everyone else Rio: I still do Rio: I've not been fooled into thinking he's something he's not Rio: but yeah, I've seen other sides of him too Nancy: He told me why you two really stayed away from each other Nancy: So no you don't Rio: It's hard to explain Rio: it doesn't strictly mean I bought into all that Rio: and I did still see what you were saying, regardless Nancy: I don't get why you'd do this Nancy: You're so much better than it Rio: I know it's unconventional, and lots of people are going to have lots of opinions Rio: but I care less about how hard it might be because I love him more Nancy: I don't care that you're cousins, I care that he's him and you're you Rio: Like I said, I've seen different sides Rio: and you've got to admit, he's been getting better Nancy: You don't think I've seen every side? Nancy: That's how I know which one wins out Nancy: I love him too okay, but any change has come 'cause the Chloe thing scared him straight for a while Nancy: He doesn't know how not to revert to type Rio: It's just a different relationship Rio: no one is entirely themselves with any one person really Rio: he's not always been that, he wasn't before, he doesn't have to stay it Nancy: He's been a prick way longer than he wasn't and we both know it Nancy: Harsh but true Rio: He's got his reasons Rio: don't we all? Nancy: I don't want you to get hurt, alright? Rio: I know Rio: and without sounding disingenuous I am glad you care Rio: but it's too late to go back Rio: I don't want to Nancy: Gross Nancy: Don't give me any more details, like Rio: 'Course not Nancy: Did you really have to come for my parents entire relationship dynamic and repeat it with your own spin? Nancy: I'm joking but like also not Rio: I know Rio: the parallels were not lost on me Nancy: If you break up I'll have to move countries again Nancy: Lord knows what you'd have to do Rio: Yeah Rio: It is scary, not gonna lie Nancy: I literally can't and won't pick sides Rio: I'm not going to ask you to, can't promise he wouldn't but you know Rio: hoping it's not gonna come to that, call me an optimist Nancy: Okay that's cute Nancy: Don't make me a believer this fast, thanks Rio: Sorry, like Nancy: Can we like call him by a code name or something? Nancy: This is just Rio: Only 'cos I'm dying to hear your suggestions now Nancy: Don't make me laugh right now Rio: Soz again Rio: I promise I'm never going to come to you with the kinda info that'll have you wishing you were deaf Rio: Never have, 'cos ew boys, yeah? Nancy: I was literally gonna say Nancy: I'm too gay for that whoever it is Rio: Exactly Rio: I know it's going to be weird for a while for all the other reasons but aside from that, just another straight boy right Nancy: Yeah Nancy: Some of your exes have been even bigger pricks too, but don't tell him I said that Nancy: He'll take it as a trade up Rio: My lips are sealed Rio: Though if anyone's trying to deny that then they got bigger problems Nancy: I can't believe you've used those lips on him after how the first time went Nancy: I'm dead here Rio: He was like, what, 9 Rio: Again, the eternal optimist Rio: but hardly with how much he bragged on all his practice so Nancy: Don't Rio: My bad Nancy: Did you like him then? Nancy: When he was 9 I mean, not when he was bragging Rio: I mean Rio: Not to the degree we've been keeping the secret that long Rio: I guess I had a crush on him Rio: pass you the sick bucket, like Nancy: Lord Nancy: I know he did on you, he told me Nancy: Unprompted, which is another level of gross, thank you Nancy: It's like he was in the closet over this in place of me ever being Nancy: So dramatic, like Rio: I'll save my 'cute' for him, don't worry Rio: well you know, do anything for you, like Nancy: Can I come and see you? Nancy: Like I know it's gonna be so awkward in person probably and I wanna get it over with so we can just Rio: Of course Rio: I'd like that Nancy: I miss you Nancy: Even if you do have rubbish taste in boys Rio: I miss you too Rio: all of you Rio: but I don't miss being there, you know Nancy: I get it Nancy: I feel the same about London Rio: Yeah Rio: I thought you would Nancy: I know it's Drew and I really shouldn't expect him to be anything other than the worst but I can't believe he outed you like that Nancy: So fucked up Rio: Yeah, I really hoped he wouldn't but Rio: guess he had no reason not to now Nancy: But like did he ever? I don't understand why he waited Nancy: It must've given you so much false hope that he'd actually keep his mouth shut Nancy: That's cruel Rio: I guess 'cos he wanted to fuck me himself Rio: put it bluntly Rio: couldn't really be talking shit and doing it at the same time Nancy: That makes sense but why not tell everyone after the baby shower, you know Rio: Yeah, I don't know you know Rio: Buster reckoned maybe he was trying to keep Indie on-side a bit but Rio: that worked well for him Nancy: I don't want my brother to be right about anything right now but Nancy: Could be true, I guess Rio: Kinda makes sense Rio: or he just wanted to fuck with us with false hope and sense of security, like you said Rio: Idk, but I'm relieved in a way, like you said, when would ever be the 'right' moment? Nancy: I can relate, obviously not exactly Nancy: But when I finally kissed Sian after wanting to for such a long time it was like Nancy: Not the best example considering what happened after though Nancy: Try not to crash and burn, like Rio: Noted Rio: At least you had the balls to, good idea or not Rio: decidedly not but Rio: maybe we'd have never done it without being forced, idk Nancy: Buster would Nancy: It was obvious how much he wants to be with you Nancy: Gross too but Rio: Yeah Rio: I lowkey stopped him a few times but pretend I didn't admit that he'd only be annoying Nancy: Of course Nancy: I get it now, why he trashed his room that day Nancy: I never did get the real story out of him but it makes so much sense now Rio: That was more about the Chloe thing Nancy: Yeah? Nancy: Oh so he wasn't lying Rio: Don't sound too shocked Nancy: Compared to earlier I'm positively zen Rio: Ha, I have that affect Nancy: You calmed him down that day, didn't you? Nancy: Oh god Nancy: I'm gonna go ahead and repress Rio: Unless you wanna rephrase, probably for the best Nancy: I need you to tell me the safe zones of both our houses so I can exist in there only Nancy: But I also don't wanna know Rio: ... Rio: I dunno if you want me to stay silent or if that says too much Nancy: Please tell me my room was off limits Nancy: I will die Rio: Of course Rio: Not a total animal Nancy: I'm too relieved to argue the pros and cons of what you just said so Rio: 🤐 Nancy: There is one thing I HAVE to ask though Rio: Go on Rio: Slightly concerned but Nancy: Don't worry I'm rolling my eyes at myself Nancy: But be nice to him, yeah? 'Cause I can't but like he's never been in love before Rio: I promise Nancy: He acts tough but I could take him easily Nancy: Especially with things like this Rio: I know Rio: let's not start singing no stranger to heartache though, yeah? Nancy: All I'm saying is, if what happened to me happened to him there'd be nobody left alive Nancy: He's the most dramatic McKenna there is Nancy: Worse than dad and nan put together Rio: I mean, not gonna argue Rio: you are handling it really well, you know Rio: even if you still feel the same mess now as you did then, it doesn't show Nancy: You're the only person who's said anything close to that to me Nancy: So thanks Rio: This family is just shit at talking to each other Rio: not coming for them 'cos well Nancy: I feel like mum is never gonna look at me like she used to Nancy: not to come for Buster's dramatic flair but Rio: I know Rio: She will, she's pretty good Rio: Assume Buster told you she worked it out Nancy: Yeah Nancy: I'd be more shocked if she hadn't 'cause of course Nancy: It's just she's never treated me like I'm stupid before, you know, not with the dyslexia stuff or any of it, but that was before this Rio: Feelings aren't logical though Rio: I reckon she's stinging that SHE didn't know, you know Rio: not for the 'I told you so' or anything but so she could've helped you deal Nancy: I don't know whether to be flattered or horrified that I'm better at keeping secrets than you and him combined Rio: Using all that closet angst you never got to, obviously Nancy: Which reminds me, I can't help wishing Chloe knew about this 'cause of how angry she'd be Rio: I have good news Nancy: REALLY? Nancy: did everyone know but me or what, like? Rio: awks 😬 Rio: but no, her obsession worked to her advantage and she was able to piece together us being at the same place enough times Nancy: Her and mum getting jackets now Nancy: Sorry Drew you missed your chance Rio: Honestly Rio: He did not put the effort in Rio: won't tell you the full deets 'cos you won't wanna know Nancy: umm? Rio: We'll leave it at he may as well have walked in it was that blatant Nancy: OH Nancy: oh my god have you and him ever....when I was there? Rio: Gurl Rio: don't ask Nancy: RIO I KNOW THAT MEANS YES Rio: Shh Nancy: That's despicable Rio: Well that's a bit steep Rio: it's hardly a war crime Nancy: I'm calling it a hate crime Nancy: I can Nancy: I'm gay Rio: 😂 Rio: You clearly didn't hear anything so count yourself lucky Nancy: Please I just assumed it was another posh blonde if I did Nancy: Been there, done my best to ignore that Rio: With this accent? I think not Rio: I was stealth Nancy: I didn't have a glass to the wall sounding out how you said vowels Rio: Trust, you'd know Nancy: CAN YOU NOT Rio: You brought it up! Rio: I'm not trying air my business or his Nancy: I have to go find some ground to swallow me brb Rio: 😏 okay babe Nancy: how is that a euphemism? Rio: idk, your mind, honestly woman Nancy: can you at least promise to keep your hands off each other when I visit or not? Rio: We managed this far, I think we'll be fine Rio: not PDA all the way from here on out, like Nancy: Okay Rio: Thanks, Nance Nancy: For what? Rio: For still being normal with me Nancy: If it was abnormal to fancy Buster I'd be too busy judging half the female population to even speak to you Nancy: Besides, I'm saving my big reinvention for when uni starts, like you said Rio: Yeah? Is that warning me to expect my shade and silent treatment in the post, like? Nancy: Maybe Nancy: Depends what you do between now and then Nancy: You can't see my hair flip but its happening Rio: Oh God, don't become Chloe, like Rio: a misstep if ever there was one Nancy: 😱 Rio: You know, don't be THAT mad I'm with Buster, not goals Nancy: Wash your mouth out Rio: I'm sorry but you never gave me a codename Nancy: That Prick ™️ Nancy: But I meant the comparison between me and her Nancy: That was a deep cut Rio: Yeah, she wishes Nancy: If she tries to date me next just know I predicted it Rio: I'll pray for you Nancy: Such an unholy union what else is there to do? Nancy: I love you but I'm not taking the heat off you that way, like Rio: Not to be that bitch but Rio: kinda owe me twofold now so Rio: tick tock Nancy: BITCH NO Nancy: I also draw the line at boudoir photography Rio: Damn 😂 Nancy: I'll recommend you someone Nancy: They won't be as good obviously Rio: 'Course not Rio: I know my own angles, it's cool Nancy: And nobody loves himself more than him so he's bound to as well Rio: I mean, his feed is pretty poppin' Nancy: 🙄 Rio: 😂 that was just a normal compliment Nancy: How did I not know you're so disgustingly in love? My god Rio: Gay drama, probably Nancy: Sad but true Rio: At least you've got an excuse Rio: everyone else needs a word Nancy: Honestly Rio: Though I'm cool with most of mine skillfully avoiding 'cos I don't need to do this 10x over Nancy: oh no Nancy: imagine Rio: Lucky only some of them are highkey Rio: that's enough Nancy: Yeah Nancy: not that I can say anything 'cause about to excuse myself to cry over my brother having a girlfriend when I don't Rio: Awh babe Rio: wanna hit the town when you come? Nancy: To drink, definitely Nancy: anything else with my track record is a no Rio: Your track record of 1 1/2? Rio: Come to me when you've got at least half a dozen failures, like Nancy: You don't think that's enough mistakes to be making? Rio: Nah Rio: Need I remind you your track record with drinking is not flawless either Rio: but you gotta live, babe Nancy: I'm scared, okay? Rio: That's alright Rio: they won't bite 'less you ask Nancy: 😂 Nancy: What if I'm not ready, I don't wanna fuck anyone over again Rio: It's just the club Rio: harmless, meaningless flirting is the standard Nancy: Yeah? Nancy: Will you actually come with me? Rio: 'Course Nancy: Despite Buster's coffee shop masterclass, which feels like a million years ago anyway, I don't really know what I'm doing Rio: I can show you Rio: but you gotta do it how you would, you know, you can't go too hard with an act Nancy: 🙈 Rio: It'll be fun, been ages since I flirted with a girl Nancy: Don't tell my brother that he'll get bored 😂🙄 Nancy: Help me though I need it Rio: No danger, trust Rio: I will, bring outfit options Nancy: Obviously Nancy: When are we doing this? Nancy: In typical lesbian fashion I need to angst for like 4 years prior Rio: Whenever you can get over Rio: I work most nights but I've got plenty time banked so it won't hurt Nancy: Let's make it happen soon Nancy: Everyone's doing my head in here Rio: Whenever you want, babe Rio: your brother is only as busy as usual so Nancy: Is next weekend too highkey? Rio: Nah, sounds good to me Nancy: Okay Nancy: Anything 🍀 you're missing let me know and I'll pack that too Rio: Just some decent tea, tah Nancy: That ain't even London that's just our house Nancy: Full offense mum Rio: 😂 the real beef comes out Nancy: You missed a chance to say the real tea Nancy: Come on Rio: Damn Rio: really let myself down, like Nancy: mhmm Rio: Ah well, what can ya do Nancy: Do you think if I ask your mum to cat sit while I'm there I'll ever see her again? Rio: Your Ma or the cat? Nancy: Either or Rio: I don't think she's that cold Rio: but one of mine would defs go in and give her TLC Rio: the cat, that is Nancy: 😂 Nancy: I'll text you when my flight's booked then Rio: 👍 See you then babe Nancy: Until then, remember I loved you first 💋 Rio: 😂 Love you too silly bitch

[punkscowardschampions]

Ali & Carly

Ali: this is why i don't wear shoes Ali: i have lost one??? Ali: rescue it if you see it Carly: what do they look like Ali: just a kinda tan sandal thing Ali: just a penneys special so not the end of the world, should chuck the other one so someone can have the pair Carly: come & bring me food & then youll be here to reunite them Carly: but yea k will lean out my door & see if its there Ali: love the enthusiasm, babe 😜 Ali: can feel your come down from here Carly: dont barely remember the come up Carly: wtf happened last night Ali: not in a much better position myself but uhm Ali: mayhem, that's for sure Ali: i think you might've gone home with the wrong cousin Carly: shit Carly: my bad Carly: better read my txts Carly: who did you go w ? Ali: didn't go that far with anyone Ali: 💍 remember and such a 😇 Ali: ronan was in a mard though and i weren't up for listening to that so 🤷 Carly: aw Carly: sorry baby i'll calm him down Ali: it's chill 😂 bless him Ali: no need on my account tho i'm sure he'd be down, despite protests otherwise Carly: my inbox is Carly: cba w this rn Ali: oh baby, want a bacon sarnie and a secretary? Carly: yea Carly: gonna throw my phone w your shoe Ali: i woke up to a mystery dickpic on my phone Ali: is it rude to ask which one it belongs to because lads, sorry, not that memorable that i'm picking it out of a line-up Ali: you'll know, been more recent, i'll come over with food and lucozade for real and ruin your day with that lovely image and the actually rather creative sexts that went with it Ali: 10/10 for effort, sir Carly: cant put it on the cv or school report but my memory for 'em is good Carly: if ive seen it i'll id it Carly: ill laff if its the large ginge cousin whose name i never got Carly: sounded like a cough Ali: that's a talent and if the man can't see that, fuck him Ali: and his job in tescos, like Ali: i mean, shouldn't have a preference but i hope not 😂 Ali: soz honey but Carly: thanks baby Carly: I hope its that token english Carly: he was fit Ali: can reply if you like Ali: worse ways to waste a sunday morning than messing with boys Ali: sounding like a priest Ali: oops Carly: ha Carly: i found some fucking funny vids of us so maybe the phone shouldnt go out window before youve had a look Ali: yes, i need to see that Carly: [sends her fave of the vids] Ali: aww Ali: we're fun drunks Ali: love that for us Carly: yea Carly: im a messy bitch tho Carly: no wonder i went w the hero cousin Ali: meh, things happen at parties, everyone knows that Ali: not like you're proper attached is it Ali: though he's gonna be annoying now probs but day in the life when you're irresistible, yeah? Carly: youd know babe Carly: he wont be on site long never is Carly: so idc Carly: saved me for a nite boy youre welcome Ali: duh Ali: hottest couple in town Ali: one for the wank bank anyway Carly: yea & he is fit Carly: give him that Carly: esp when i dont understand what hes saying Ali: the best kind Ali: a boy you don't have to speak to 😜 Ali: if that's all it takes like, whip out the Gaeilge Carly: youve got the giggles but yea Carly: true Carly: but on site id just have all the oldies chatting at me if i could Carly: not trying to make them go weak Ali: they ain't daddies? boo 😥 Carly: some got many kids but thats it Carly: say something to me then Ali: [sends voice memo, probably has dirty words she'd recognise from site life and lots of loling] Carly: k Carly: so hot Carly: if your gf is mad at me for stealing you last nite you can smooth things over w her like that Ali: might have to Ali: though it ain't you she's 😤 with Ali: poor ronan, shoulda done more than snog him if she comes for him, not even worth it for that Carly: ill protect him when he lets me back near Carly: cant stay mad at this Carly: sure your girls the same Ali: She's mad 24/7 babe, just gotta hold on, like 😂 Ali: we want different things now but that's not a convo for this morning like jesus Carly: whos got the energy Carly: cba w angry Carly: yea you want a sarnie Ali: exactly, and i wanted to have fun last night but may as well have said i want his dick in or around my mouth k bye babe Carly: ha Carly: that would be fun tho Ali: tell that to past you, dashing his threesome dreams like 🤷💔 Carly: still time Ali: not me you need to promise baby Carly: yea but id rather talk to you Ali: 💚 Ali: you cute Carly: all you Carly: how you look so good coming from band? wtf Ali: psh please Ali: it was all about you 🙇 Carly: if that was true why is every memory i got from last nite just you Carly: facts Ali: had to get you away from that mirror somehow, like 😉 Ali: it was fun Carly: ha Carly: cuz your talents got me like Carly: yea it was Ali: helps when the canvas already beautiful babe Carly: aw Carly: youre sweet Ali: 🍓 Carly: gonna make me cry Ali: don't cry lil one Ali: the bacon is coming Ali: got roped into doing a shady kid swap, where is my ma, take this demon child Carly: you can bring him if you want Carly: ill put clothes on before Ali: cockblocked again 😉 Ali: nah, he needs to go get shoes Ali: ironically and unlucky, twat Carly: what size is he Carly: i can ask around when i look for yours Carly: lads flog everything and anything here on sundays Ali: his feet are big man Ali: he's only little but he's lanky af, unlike me Ali: that's fun tho Ali: imma go shopping Carly: aw Carly: yea wish i was taller Carly: ffs ma and da Ali: literally Ali: least neither of my sisters are model tall or i'd be more raging Ali: we make it work, babe Carly: & i dont have any sisters Carly: well done on that one tho ma & da Ali: speak for yourself Ali: i'm gutted Carly: oww Carly: trying to replace me like the vows were no thing Ali: you know you're my one and only Ali: but a woman got needs Carly: thats what your gf is for Carly: no Ali: yeah but i'm allowed wishful thinking too Ali: damn Carly: ive given you the mental image of me naked Carly: what more you need Ali: are you jealous of your hypothetical sister? Carly: yea if you like her more Ali: aw baby, 'course not Ali: she's a ride, yeah, but bit of a bitch too, like Carly: ha Carly: takes after our ma like Ali: sadly, straighter than you Ali: 👎 Carly: like theres a ranking Carly: just straight or not yea Ali: I mean, it is a scale but I'm not gonna try and bond with your Ma giving her the test for it, like Ali: could we tie her down for a sec, obvs Carly: hit her when shes washing up Carly: takes long Ali: okay, i'll dry 😉 Ali: what an offer Carly: trying to make me vom now Carly: take crying or blushing over Ali: soz babe Carly: her & my da dont fuck but still dont reckon youre her type Ali: don't know what's worse, that, or knowing they do Carly: im good w them not Carly: sound carries Carly: no secrets in the caravan Ali: sure there's a toilet block they could go to Ali: keeping it sexy Carly: sure my da's there doing his cry wank Carly: while my ma checks the talent Carly: we got that to look forward to in our marriage in a few years Ali: who's scouting who's cranking Ali: because frankly, i refuse either Carly: im the biggest slag so probs me Carly: sorry Ali: and I'm not Ali: igloo sisters how many times now?! 😂 Carly: ha Carly: but youre loyal Carly: me and my ma dont kno the meaning like Ali: am i Ali: you miss the part when i got on ronan Carly: o yea Carly: i forgot Ali: idk what i'm gonna do about that Ali: instant gameover but its literally so irrelevant Carly: hes a ride Carly: you should be excused for it Ali: she's a 6 on that scale, yeah, massive gay Ali: so she ain't seeing that, never mind the other shit Carly: shit yea Carly: dont tell her Ali: does that make me the worst? Ali: i should hm Carly: hes not gonna speak to her Carly: and if he brags you can call it that Ali: Yeah Ali: I don't know Carly: its that or tell her Carly: & say youre sorry Carly: we were all wasted Carly: not like you have feelings for him Ali: You're right, obviously Ali: like that's the truth but yeah Ali: might leave it unless I need to go there Ali: soz God, swing by confession later Carly: tell her youre a bi cliche Carly: she'd love it Carly: use the scale Ali: she would tho Ali: validate everything she's ever sneaky or not so thought about me Ali: soz, i need a constant stream of p n v or i die Carly: a girl has needs Carly: what am i a 1? Ali: its like dis Ali: 1- all straight 2- mostly straight but lil gay 3- equal/bi 4- mostly gay but still lil into opposite 5- total gay Ali: but not gonna resist the urge to tell you you a 10 Carly: 🥇 Carly: i like that you're 3 tho. 3's a lucky number Ali: and a magic one 🔮 Carly: yea cuz youre magical Ali: believe it baby Carly: i do Ali: right, finally leaving, be like 10 Ali: doing the opposite to a walk of shame rn, strutting back in like what's good Carly: you gotta Carly: own it baby Carly: havent found your shoe tho sorry Carly: maybe ronan took it cuz he loves you so bad Ali: 😂 oh my god Ali: like a horny puppy Carly: yea Carly: building a shrine to you rn probs Ali: or he wanna play cinderella Ali: such a ridiculous fairytale, as far as they go Carly: how wasted was the prince that he cant remember what she looks like Carly: k been there but not trying to wife anyone Ali: right?! also, sure plenty of bitches a size 5, like??? Ali: was it a magic shoe Ali: no explanation, frankly Carly: yea like me and you have the same size Carly: ill take your prince for a ride bitch Ali: 😂 Ali: he cool with that Ali: that's the tea Ali: boy gives no fucks, long as it ain't a man in drag Carly: he hasnt met your brother tho Carly: boy looks good Ali: eww Ali: stop that thought right there Carly: dont get jealous Carly: not gonna go there Ali: not jealous, but repulsed 😷 Carly: k babe Carly: if you say so Ali: trust, you wanna see jealous you'll see it soon enough if you go there Ali: 😂 bea don't fuck about Carly: have to go for one of your other hot brothers Ali: trying be my sister in law and wife Ali: kickin it country Carly: you kno Carly: been on site too long Ali: forreal, not gotta hang with the traveller lads that hard baby Carly: after last nite not gonna be hanging w them for a while Ali: let 'em fight it out amongst themselves Ali: defs for the best Carly: yea Carly: hide w me babe Carly: gonna be so bored Ali: gonna Ali: i'll peep their wares another day Ali: not a euphemism Carly: sounds dirty tho Ali: yeah, regretted it as i said it but hey Ali: love me a sale and a gypsy boy Carly: no regrets boo Carly: they love you too Carly: esp whoever send the dick pic Ali: the real mystery Ali: soz everyone else with your drama but we gotta know Carly: i do need to be knowing Carly: thats my wife lads Ali: awh you gonna defend my honour n delicate sensibilities Carly: yea Carly: youre an angel Ali: you're so cute Carly: its you Carly: my parents came back Carly: gonna have to run Ali: oh no i am en route Ali: where you going boo Carly: i'll catch you and we can find somewhere theyre not Carly: ha church Carly: can you eat there cuz im not looking to die for jesus Ali: yeah for sure, not in the pews like its the cinema, like Ali: can go park if you wanna Ali: or up the mountain if you can hack it, like Carly: youre so smart Carly: like your mouth Carly: but yea Carly: date time Ali: awh yeah Ali: this picnic ain't goals i'm so sorry babe Ali: least the weather's looking up Carly: idc Carly: get to be w my boo Ali: 😍 Carly: i look crazy Carly: havent got dressed faster w out getting fucked before since idc Carly: idk Ali: i like crazy Ali: and beside me you'll probs look totally normal 😉 Carly: you look hot every day baby Carly: facts Ali: all these compliments got me feeling 🔥 obvs Carly: thats how i want it Ali: gonna have you flying high too Ali: top of the world, baby Carly: aw Carly: whats in the food like Ali: 😂 Ali: just faith n trust n pixiedust, of course Carly: you can snort pixiedust yea? Carly: k Ali: you gon' be mad when i've got nothing but sandwiches and half a donut Carly: nah Carly: cant be mad at you Carly: too cute Ali: and donuts are life Carly: true

[punkscowardschampions]

Ali & Carly

Ali: Ich glaub ich spinne Carly: wtf Carly: do you want a drink babe? Ali: ze german, baby Ali: i'll say no but get why you're saying yes so early Carly: k more for me Carly: nobodys in a sharing mood today Ali: yeah? Carly: yea Carly: no fun Ali: Leben ist kein Ponyhof Carly: give drew a slap for me k Ali: it would be my pleasure Ali: can i ask how he's pissed on your parade from over here tho Carly: the boy played me Carly: he wanted me to beg for what id just given him the prick Carly: shouldnt have drunk this much this soon my bad Ali: he's a fuckboy Ali: you knew that Ali: my sister on the other hand remains frustratingly oblivious Carly: dont be mad at me Carly: ive been trying to get him to dump her this whole coach ride Ali: I'm not mad at you, babe Ali: no room with how much ugh I have for him Ali: well, hopefully she will him Carly: he thinks shes gonna fuck him in berlin Ali: prick Ali: won't when she finds out Carly: you cant say anything cuz i wasnt meant to Ali: Let himself fuck it up then Ali: he's not being subtle Carly: he cant do subtle Carly: me and him have that in common like Ali: Carly Ali: do you like him? Carly: why Ali: because I think you do Carly: it doesn't matter what you think Carly: he thinks she's girlfriend material & im a slag Carly: hes not wrong either Ali: If you like him, then you should say Ali: regardless, shouldn't let him be a cunt to you, and Ro in the process Ali: who the fuck is he Carly: ha Carly: i dont like anyone baby Carly: I'm just bored Carly: berlins a whole new party Ali: well, good Ali: one less worry Ali: I wish you the perfect holiday fling Carly: aw Carly: youre still the sweetest Carly: sure you dont want a drink while theres some left? Ali: need it now so fuck it Ali: chuck it over Carly: come over Carly: you kno youre the sporty one Carly: i cant be throwing things round the coach Ali: alright, you calling baby spice, I assume? Carly: or scary Carly: depends whos asking Carly: cant be posh tho Ali: yeah you can Ali: she weren't even and you can rock that pout just as well Carly: aw Carly: you should be baby tho youre the cutest Ali: little school all over again, we can't all be baby, lads! 😂 Ali: i'll be ginger, if you wore that iconic dress on your site, you'd get lynched Carly: yea Carly: & if anyone would cause drama by going solo its you Carly: Marlene been knew Ali: Ouch 💔 Ali: but fair Ali: Already thinking about her due to namesake birthplace but you really went there Ali: please tell me I haven't tanked as hard, not got Drew's fragile ego like but 😥 Carly: you kno im just mad youre not thinking about me Carly: dont listen to a word i say Carly: goldies got a fragile heart now too, so sad you broke up w me & stole his bf on top Carly: someone think of the golden god Ali: baby Ali: yeah, that's TOTALLY what the weird vibe is all about Ali: moody twat, soz a threesome is outta the question now Carly: he likes you too Carly: thats a thing Carly: playing like im the one hung up but he is Ali: Nah Ali: that boy don't know what he wants Ali: not down for him using my bestie and sister to find out though, fuck off and soul search like the rest Carly: he wants you Carly: but you got your boy & he shouldnt be trying to mess w Carly: meant to be his boy too Ali: so he reckons but give him 5 minutes before he weren't arsed Ali: don't trust him as far as I can throw him so ain't taking his word on that either like Ali: exactly Ali: 🐍 Carly: id leave him alone if he was happy being w her but i kno he isnt Carly: not letting him lie to me Ali: it doesn't have to be your problem Ali: or your job to make him happy Ali: knew it though Carly: ha Carly: it isn't my problem Carly: & i cant keep a job you kno Carly: couldnt do that one if i was paid like Ali: no one can babe Ali: not to be that hippie cliche about it Ali: but forreal, gotta do that shit himself Carly: its Carly: how he makes me feel sometimes Carly: not happy im not living that lie but Carly: its not nothing & sometimes its good you kno Ali: yeah Ali: i know Ali: but you can have more, if you want Ali: that is possible Ali: you don't have to settle for sometimes good Carly: youre sweet but youre a dreamer babe Carly: ive got nothing going on not in my head & not around me Carly: theres no more than settling down on the site or settling for being off whenever i can Ali: s'not true Carly: yea it is Carly: you dont want it to be but that dont mean its not Carly: me and that boy have more in common than not being subtle like Ali: it ain't Ali: doesn't have to be Ali: nothing is set in stone unless you pour the fucking cement yourself, like Carly: it doesnt have to be doing it but it can still get poured Carly: forget it tho Carly: im drinking on empty & feeling sorry for myself Carly: no fun in that Ali: ain't that fast drying Ali: dust yourself off and run Carly: where to babe Carly: nowhere to go but the coach bathroom Carly: been there done that Ali: well hang on a bit and we'll be in a whole new country, babe Ali: promise is a promise and we can start in Berlin Carly: but 3s a crowd when its not a party Carly: im not trying to mess you & your boy up Carly: cant tell drew off if i do Ali: nah Ali: it ain't like that Ali: not got the blinkers on and knowing each other's passwords and schedules Ali: got trust Carly: yea? Carly: got food too or Carly: cuz im gonna vom if you say no Ali: Yes Ali: Lemme food parcel Carly: if you havent lost the knack Carly: been awhile Ali: 😔 Ali: i'm soz Carly: dont be Carly: you kno i love you Carly: no drama Ali: i love you too Ali: and you would tell me if you needed something wouldn't you Ali: 'cos that ain't changed, i'm still here Ali: unlucky bitch Carly: unlucky for you Carly: shouldnt be on site unless theres something in it for you babe Carly: all i need is to remember breakfast before i get on a sess Carly: & to dilute my spirits sometimes too Ali: there is, you nutter Ali: there you go, who said school trips weren't educational? only on the bus and you're whacking out the wisdom already Carly: not as thick as i look Carly: ms woodfield was thinking it too i reckon Carly: she might kno but im still gonna blame the shit driver if i vom Carly: try and stop me bitch Ali: you look nothing but amazing hush Ali: she's down with the kids, she'll hold your hair back Carly: you hush Carly: trying to make me emotional in front of the front of the coach Ali: it's alright, join Millie Rooney and say you're homesick 😉 Carly: idk whats sadder everyone thinking im crying over an empty caravan or that prick thinking its about him Ali: 😬 i know what i reckon Ali: better dry those tears, babygirl Carly: get his phone for me tho yea Carly: i am mad he gets me & i get nothing back Carly: use the magic Ali: use my mad hacking skillz gotcha Ali: but should I use them for good and accidentally forward some incriminating shit to Ro? 🤔 Ali: this is why we're not meant to play God Carly: do what you must Carly: i trust you Ali: don't worry, sure you're not the only girl he's been chatting too Ali: no offense meant obvs but you know Ali: don't have to drop you in it, as if its your fault but idk, Ro isn't always willing to be entirely rational when it comes to him Carly: idc she never liked me much anyways Carly: better that than dropping some naive random in it Carly: everyones seen me naked if it blows up Carly: old news Carly: & the vid was good too i look hot Ali: hmm, good point on the random Ali: and I don't doubt that you did Ali: I'll have to think on this a bit harder Carly: k Carly: if everyone gets in my inbox ill kno Ali: god Ali: people are gross Carly: can be fun sometimes Carly: cant all be angels like you babe Ali: 🖕 Ali: you know i ain't Carly: i kno you are Carly: too sweet Ali: pot kettle baby Ali: but your secret's safe with me 😘 Carly: ha Carly: its no secret im only sweet to you so youre the only one who needs to kno Ali: 'cos people suck Ali: that's no secret Ali: not gonna waste your time, are you, like Carly: not as good at picking out the deserving ones as you Carly: no secret i fuck up more than i dont Carly: how many bad decisions can i make before berlin tho Ali: nah, you're just too nice for your own good Ali: you know he don't deserve it but people have made the same (wrong) judgment on you so you can't do it back Ali: to anyone Ali: even genuinely shitty people, or people who'd be better off for the nudge of nah Carly: now whos dropping the wisdom Carly: ill just screenshot those few sentences for my ma when she's on at me Carly: im a nice person bitch Ali: 💅☕ though Ali: i'll translate it into spanish for her if she's not getting the memo in plain english Carly: ha Carly: she got well excited cuz she thought berlin had a red light district Carly: thought she was gonna get in my bags Carly: one way to stop me fucking drew in the front row but Ali: pretending i didn't hear that last bit ew Ali: moving on Ali: she wanna get in the windows or like? Carly: she did get the sack so probs Carly: or she thinks itll be like magic mike the german dub idk Ali: oh honey Ali: every nights a hen night Ali: 🙄 Carly: imagine if theyd let mas and das on this trip Carly: i couldnt have come Ali: me either Ali: no one needs that Carly: your ma is so scary Carly: but shed put goldie in his place Carly: probs shouldve brought her Carly: keep me behaving Ali: she literally wants to murder him Ali: need a restraining order and more than mr murray and mr latimer to keep her back Carly: ha Carly: love it Carly: cant she break up the happy couple Carly: my da did me & this beautiful traveller lad that took my v Ali: 💔 Ali: is he married now Ali: if we're doing matchmaking Ali: but in answer, she learnt that forbidding something makes it 1000x more likely to happen and in more secretive, intense ways so Ali: I'm soz Ro, really fucked you over on that one Carly: idk my da literally moved them on Carly: threat of getting the law Carly: k but he still wouldnt be into it Carly: i feel bad for her Ali: ugh Ali: so romeo and juliet, baby you must've been so about it 'til he fucked it up that hard Ali: yeah, i know Ali: i'll figure out something Carly: i was only 12 so i did have the mindset Carly: worth it tho Carly: prettiest boy ive ever seen Ali: swizzle on that, goldilocks Carly: everyone wanted to fuck him Carly: the whole site was feeling the love Carly: fun times Ali: like a beatle was living in your back garden Ali: love that Carly: i peaked Carly: all there is now is a golden god who behaves like a idiot boy Ali: i mean, won't take offense 😒 sat right here and all but no 😉 Ali: there's a whole world of dick out there i promise you Ali: some attached to boys who don't behave like one Carly: ha Carly: you know you're my fave Carly: but youre sat next to him so I cant tell it Ali: 💚 Ali: won't even tell you who i lost my v to Ali: too shaming Carly: now you have to Ali: 😬😫 Ali: okay but then i'm going for a piss so i don't have to feel the pity Carly: baby id never feel sorry for you Carly: w my life come on Ali: you might sympathize though 'cos it was ronan Ali: why he got all weird, probs Ali: eurgh repressed memories flooding back in with the shame 😂 Carly: shit Carly: i told drew all first times are bad but wouldnt wish him on you like that Carly: oh ronan Carly: he better not have treated you like he did me Carly: ill fucking kill him like Ali: aw babe Ali: my hero 💪 Ali: you know what he's like but that shit is long in the past with us so meh Carly: im gonna cry Carly: babe thats sad Carly: & now ms woodfield is staring at me k Ali: don't cry silly Ali: is what it is Carly: im crying and planning murder Ali: you went there too, and other various dickheads, so where's my invite to this party? Carly: but youre perfect Carly: and it was your first time Carly: actual tears in the front row Ali: oh babe Ali: i'm coming over Ali: bog roll in hand Carly: youre too good Carly: im so sad Ali: 😇 that's you Carly: all you tho Ali: nu-uh Ali: you you you Carly: i cant argue cuz im blinded by my tears Ali: not the greatest victory I've ever then Ali: but I'll take it if you smile again Carly: waiting for ms woodfield to tell me i need jesus Carly: ill laugh then Ali: okay, i'll try and lead the convo and her like Ali: we got this, woody Carly: nah if you try and lead her anywhere itll only go one way Carly: teachers pet Ali: 😂 Ali: do you reckon she loves that everyone lowkey drools over her 'cos she's the right side of 40 Ali: or is she desperately job hunting like these fucking kids Carly: i can see in her eyes she loves it Carly: she hates me cuz i dont Carly: facts Ali: not 'cos you never do your work, nah 😏 Carly: & im drunk as fuck rn on her watch Ali: i mean Ali: if YOU were doing your job properly darling Ali: mad you beat her to it, they always get plastered on trips Carly: yea Carly: bet shed take nudes in the bathroom if she had someone to send them to Ali: ooh what teacher could she homewreck Ali: school trip always a perfect place to start an affair Carly: Mr O'Brien could get it if you were old Ali: good shout Ali: getting out my bow as we speak Carly: Mr Cork is alright too but he looks like he'd shower after holding hands Carly: weird Ali: I mean Ali: cleanliness is next to godliness Ali: dirty hoe Carly: ha Carly: you kno it Ali: might be a serial killer Ali: but you wouldn't catch nowt off him Carly: dont have to go home if he murders me Carly: scatter me in berlin lad Ali: 😨😭 noooooo Ali: even if i could go neeson and avenge you Carly: dont go neeson off set tho Carly: your boy wouldnt love the racism Ali: don't wanna be that bitch Ali: problematique Carly: enough bitches on this coach Carly: for once not looking at you ms woodfield Carly: we ever getting there? i thought getting wasted would make me less bored not more Ali: and lowkey racists Ali: all comes out the woodworks when you outed, that gay bashing all afresh like Ali: seriously, why couldn't we go on a plane Carly: & overt racists Carly: that cash tho Carly: how would the teachers afford to get wrecked if they blew the budget Carly: gotta blow each other first Ali: ☕ Ali: dickheads Carly: when goldilocks isnt the biggest twat on the coach tho Carly: idk what to do w that Carly: universe trying to make me like him Ali: give him time Ali: sure he'll reclaim his title 💪 Carly: he'd love a crown Carly: or a medal Carly: get crafting Ali: only if I can get biblical Ali: crown of thorns, you mean barbed wire, okay Carly: ha Carly: im tired come & nap w me Ali: okay boo Ali: as far as pillows go 😏 Carly: serious Carly: i dont wanna sleep on my own Carly: hate it Ali: i remember Ali: coming Ali: promise

[punkscowardschampions]

Ali & Carly

Ali: Heyo boo Ali: thanks for Rocky wrangling with me today, you're now also his fave so, add that to your tally Carly: its k i had fun Carly: hes a cutie & cool kid Ali: me too Ali: yeah, he's alright, but cocky enough so I ain't telling him Ali: dunno where he gets that from 😏 Carly: ha Carly: yea idk Carly: no clue Ali: i'm sorry Ro was being off btw, I'm working out why but trust it wasn't you, babe Ali: been neglecting her lately, everyone wants a piece of me Ali: hard life Carly: idc its me too Carly: nobody wants a piece but you Ali: I just told you that ain't true, and Rocky is ruthless, he called one of my customers a 'big bum witch' the other day Ali: no tip for me, thanks dickhead Ali: but I want all of you regardless Ali: willing to throw hands Carly: aw Carly: this town is full of big bum witches tho Carly: my ma back for one Carly: but are you willing to use those hands for good too or Ali: awks if that was your Ma, like hey gurl, I think you rock it Ali: your daughter ain't bad either Ali: you know it, IOU 'cos we couldn't make like we were in the backrow of the cinema Carly: unless she been lying about where she at i think youve avoided meeting the in laws again Carly: k cuz you kno i need to collect soon Carly: bored Carly: just back and zoned out so fast Ali: ain't even got exciting stories from their galavanting? fucking rude Ali: at least when we go AWOL we also go wild Ali: make things happen, lads Carly: my ma's good for nothing but hairspray and peroxide Carly: only use if i get beat up again Carly: my da's good for cash tho if you wanna get wild w me Ali: or you wanna single white female me Ali: which would be a disappointing outcome to say the least Ali: can't tonight babe, I've gotta have some sister time Ali: go hard for both of us Carly: k Carly: try not to miss me bad when shes talking about me Ali: oh babe, she will not, and if she does I'll set her straight Ali: gonna let the world know you're my 😇 Carly: whatever her issue shes gotta air it and youre her sister so you gotta hear it Carly: idc shes not gonna hurt me w it Carly: and setting peeps straight is the opposite of how you do, babe Ali: true Ali: idk what issue she could have though, you're a literal ray of sunshine Ali: true again 😏 Ali: ugh, imma miss you Ali: maybe i can sneak out when she's gone to bed, the 'rents too Carly: i miss you now Carly: cant hear my parents say shit Carly: i just wanna talk to you Carly: dont tell me maybe & keep me waiting tho Ali: i will Ali: promise Carly: i dont wanna make trouble for you Carly: w anyone Carly: you can stay w her if you need to stay Ali: You won't Ali: I can do both Ali: be back before first light Ali: even if I'll miss watching the sun rise on your face 😔 Ali: we've got the night, baby Carly: but you kno if ive got you for the whole night youre gonna fall asleep Carly: thats what im good at Carly: feel free to tell your sister thats why you like me ha Carly: fun & tiring its magic Ali: hmm, we'll see who wears who out first, babe Ali: and if I am that husband, then you'll just have to wake me up with morning sex like the good little wifey you are 😘😂 Carly: always bringing that confidence i like it Carly: k but if my parents wake up too you can explain its a duty thing yea i had to like Ali: i like you Ali: for so many reasons and imma show you all of 'em tonight Ali: fuck that Ali: stay out with me, its warm enough Ali: i'll trace all the constellations out with my tongue so you won't ever forget Ali: educational Carly: my ma is asking me what im blushing about Carly: i told her what you said but she's not a believer Carly: support my education bitch Carly: ha Ali: i mean, i'd offer to let her see the benefits for herself but Ali: not gonna win me any brownie points 'cos she won't take me up on it Carly: she dont kno what she's missing but i do Carly: wish you were here Ali: me too Ali: start the party without me babe, i don't mind Carly: too late if you do Carly: gotta get through this reunion some way Ali: they aren't making you watch a slideshow, are they? Ali: fate worse than death Ali: Maybe you could go to Ronan's? Lmao, he's been up in my pussy way too much since he found out about us...didn't think we were THAT loud but ok boy Carly: yea Carly: might do cuz same Carly: but what if i miss you he can really make a night of it when he wants Ali: Nah, I won't let you face that disappointment, babe Ali: my spidey senses will tingle like not on my watch, fuckboy Carly: aw Carly: you gonna come get me? Carly: thats no way to get him out your pussy babe fyi Ali: yeah Ali: I know but I like the idea of showing you off as mine Ali: but no sharing, he only gets to watch and be mad he fucked it up Carly: i like it too Carly: youre hot when youre oneupping fuckboys Carly: i thought i knew how to do it best but k youre flipping the script Ali: as long as i'm besting them i'm doing my job right Ali: gotta keep you on-board Carly: speak of the devil Carly: how he know i was alone & horny Carly: my parents have only gone to the shops its uncanny Ali: know your neighbours but bit stalkerish, pal Ali: i'll text him to fuck off, freak him out Ali: how does she know, ha, two can play this game fucko and I'm more committed Carly: ha Carly: you gotta Carly: hes smoking im gonna bum one see what line he tries to lay on before the text sends Ali: On it Ali: gotta let him know there's a queue to court the princess now and he's at the back, soz Carly: he likes hitting it from the back he wont be put off Carly: im gonna show him some of the hot pics i took of you tho Ali: when is he ever tbf? 🐶👅💦 Carly: true Carly: that fucking cute tho aren't i Ali: you know it babe Carly: hes talking to my da now Carly: kill me Ali: how fucking dare he Ali: knowing he has the upper hand with the man bants Ali: i know how to change a tire too! love me! Carly: if my ma invites him in for tea im out of here Carly: she will think hes hot under the collar for her & bitch thats my groundwork Ali: Run baby run Ali: what kinda moron is he tho Ali: coulda had a private show if you just waited, now its all saturday night telly and flat lager Carly: you kno i have nowhere to go if you dont want me babe Carly: facts Carly: he likes me now he cant have me what a fucking Carly: like i wouldve fucked you but im not getting w you Ali: i do, is this full sos crisis mode though? 'cos i need to be good for a lil while longer yet Ali: such a typical bloke move that Ali: bet he ain't the only boy in ur inbox, not a pun Ali: 'cos he ain't in mine like 🙄 Carly: its k your sister needs you Carly: i can keep walking Carly: loads of other lads on site as well as in my inbox Carly: & they arent trying to say hi to me before we get down to it nevermind my parents Ali: 😾 Carly: why so sad blue eyed boo Ali: i don't like how lads treat you Ali: i'm not jealous, like swear to god, even though i obviously want you all to myself, i get it Ali: but i'm not about how shit they are to you, even if you don't care, they should care to be decent humans Carly: thats not lads its everyone Carly: youre the only one treating me different Carly: they dont know how else to be Carly: made my bed babe Ali: nah Ali: you don't deserve half the shit you get, that's bullshit Ali: and even the rest, people just don't wanna try to understand or be good, heaven forfend they inconvineince themselves for one second, like Carly: if im a slag im a slag i dont get to put conditions on it Carly: if it was a film maybe Carly: but theres no romance coming my way from theres and i dont want it Ali: why can't you just be you? someone who likes fucking, among other things Ali: not romance just like...not being a cunt Ali: idk Ali: pisses me off Carly: cuz you don't run the world even tho you strut it like you do and i love it Ali: not yet, babe Ali: one day, and you can be my right hand woman Carly: yea? Carly: take me w you & ill take you to all your fave places k Ali: k Ali: we'll be fun forever, I promise you Carly: gotta be Ali: you know i like you even when you ain't tho Ali: don't tell Carly: who would i Carly: ronans got enough for his wank bank & nobody else is chatting to me rn Ali: exactly, ruins the illusion and fantasy when they realise i care about you Ali: so unsexy of me Carly: youre sexy to me Carly: idc what they think Ali: good Ali: me either Carly: i like you too you kno Ali: yeah Ali: i had my suspicions Carly: i dont have any subtlety sorry about it Ali: Don't be Ali: I love it Ali: not enough people say what they mean or want, ever Carly: waste Carly: k i wasnt shouting how bad i wanted to kiss you before i did but not cuz i was bothered about me Ali: agreed Ali: sometimes you can't know you want something until you've got it Ali: i get it Carly: you get me Carly: its weird Ali: 🔮 Carly: ha Carly: k what am i thinking now Ali: wouldn't be proper to say Ali: tut tut bad girl Ali: like how you think though Carly: fuck Carly: youre good Ali: 🤷 don't mean to brag but remember that phrase you'll be screaming it later Ali: such a Ronan line, I can't 😂 Carly: but true Carly: not like when he says it Ali: 😍 Carly: what you doing w your sister Carly: gotta live through that cuz bored Ali: Fixing my weave Ali: getting into a white girl dread territory over here Ali: then gonna do some 🔮 forreal Ali: get ready for me to be even more of a know it all baby Carly: cute Carly: tell me my future i got some shit from another neighbor & im waiting for it to kick Carly: hows it gonna treat me Carly: needing a good trip Ali: we'll see who gets the answer first Ali: you got anything for me? Carly: yea Carly: they mystery but i kno you arent scared Carly: & you got me doing a test run rn lying on here on the grass Ali: 🌌 be there before it fades away my space explorer Carly: if you find me at a bad end prob dont take it Ali: is one of the lads trip sitting you Carly: so he reckons but hes drinking so theres no trust Carly: & he gave me it Carly: his game could be me lights out idk Ali: keep texting me, okay babe? Ali: if shit gets too real, tell me and I'll come early Ali: my sis is cool now, she gets what we're doing, she was just confused Carly: aw Carly: youre sweet Carly: you told her you like me Ali: 'course I did Ali: I ain't ashamed Ali: I'm proud Carly: youre gonna make me cry Ali: You're special, Carly Ali: You're gonna see Carly: I just wanna see you tho Ali: Me too Ali: I'm gonna make her some chamomile tea and then I'm coming, yeah? Carly: but thats not fair to her Carly: she's not gonna be a fan of me Ali: I've promised her more time tomorrow Ali: You need me rn Carly: but what if i want you to stay Carly: what are we gonna do then Ali: i'll stay until you're ready for me to go Carly: you mean that? Ali: yes Ali: promise, imma take care of you Carly: but theres nothing in it for you Carly: youve already got me you dont have to Ali: i wanna keep you Ali: and not just selfishly Ali: you gotta stick around, you're too cool to go anywhere, okay Carly: k Carly: im here & if you wanna be im not stopping you Ali: good Ali: i wanna be wherever you are Carly: i kept you pills back the lads didnt want me to but idc about them & you can follow me in now Ali: fuck them Ali: just me and you Carly: yea Carly: ill look after you too Ali: 😇 Ali: i know, i trust you Carly: idk if you should Carly: but i like it Ali: willing to take my chances Ali: you're worth it Carly: thats you Ali: i'm so glad i met you Carly: me too Carly: not that i met me thats weird Carly: you know what i mean Ali: i got you Ali: not high yet 😉 Carly: id seen you around before you guardian angel'd me that night Carly: thats weird too Carly: that i didnt see you how i do now Ali: it is Ali: you were always cute but Ali: idk, i can't claim to have seen this in my crystal ball Carly: thats cuz i wasnt cute i was a state Carly: & youd have more likely seen me sucking ronans dick Carly: look away babe you dont need to have that image in your mind Ali: don't need him reckoning he plays part in any of my fantasies, nah Ali: you can't not be cute, no matter how you try, soz babe Carly: you can't not be so sweet to me can you Ali: dunno Ali: not tried Carly: idk what id do if you did Carly: i got used to it Ali: got no plans to stop Ali: unless you ask me to, like Carly: thats not gonna be what i ask you to do Carly: trust me Ali: you can tell me all about it Ali: 5 minutes, tops Carly: okay

[punkscowardschampions]

Ronnie, Bronson, Charlie & Bea

Ronnie: I'm going on a run Ronnie: who wants? Bronson: My stash is depleted for some unknown reason 🤔 please stock me up Charlie: Ooh, new year new you babe? Charlie: couch to 5k is it aspirational af 😍 Bea: ✋ me Ronnie: fuck off i just dont need you pussies crying when you can't scav my gear Ronnie: what'll it be princess? the usual Charlie: c'mon, we've always shared everything, nothing is your own #carekidlife Bronson: Ha! That'll be why the lock on my door never sticks Bea: yep, not decided to get heavily into crack since we last spoke, just lots of amphetamines in any form you find 'em, tah, got exams coming up Ronnie: Shame Ronnie: reckon I'd like you more on the hard shit Charlie: just in case you missed the old place, man, giving you that nostalgia for when you had to padlock anything that wasn't bolted to the floor 😜 Bronson: Good times! 😀 Bea: Shame I'm not trying to be your type then, I guess Bea: soz darling, spoken for 💋 Charlie: Truly, missing that tenner a week pocket money, LUXURY! Ronnie: fucking am Ronnie: pissing jobcentre Bronson: I'll add it to your tab if you're desperate as Charlie: gotta learn to play their game, babe Charlie: not throw the board in a hissy Ronnie: 🖕 doss cunts Bea: catch me here fanning myself with sweet, sweet debt for future me to give a shit about Bronson: I'll wipe it out if you use some to keep me sweet Bea: sweet enough sugar 😘 Bea: but forreal, if you could manage that I would be your sugar mama for LIFE 🙏 Bronson: It's student loans not the feds Bronson: Easy peasy Bea: true, like all branches of the gov, pretty fucking useless Bea: but I'm an immigrant as far as they concerned so they treat me SO good 😋 Bronson: Same, but we can always stretch our hands out a little further Ronnie: To jack it and pat yourself on the back at the same time, yeah? Ronnie: calm it down Bronson: New year, new look too! Green looks ace with black 😄 Bea: Clearly do not have natural rhythm Ronnie, that's really not that difficult Bea: You're not a drummer, are you? 😕 Ronnie: get off my tits all of yous Ronnie: do you want gear or nah? Bronson: 🤐 Bea: I thought you'd already gone tbh Ronnie: not trying to score that weak gay shit Ronnie: hitting up a more reliable source like Charlie: rude, i'm RIGHT here Ronnie: are you even gay fitzy? always in my pussy lad Bronson: 😷 Bea: 🤢 Charlie: idk, ask ur man 💖 Ronnie: that'll be why me and Bron's dads did a bunk Bronson: Get yourself locked up at the same time just for the d, did you? Romantic Charlie: if the porn n the stereotypes n the rate of STIs are anything to go by...love is in the air always in cell block h Ronnie: princess'll have some handcuffs to get you on your way to that good loving Bea: 🚿🧠 anyone got any bleach? Bea: Charlie isn't worth the 💰 use cable ties, more authentic Bronson: 99 🚔 My fingers are on the button....Stop for the love of god Ronnie: Bron can help you out there Fitz Ronnie: 🤓 Bronson: Take that over a thicko label Charlie: Look, babe, know you wanna tie me down forever but do it yourself, don't involve the kid Charlie: 💍 diamond or no D, soz Ronnie: Bring a needle I'll snag a gem Bronson: Don't go there, C, I'm still riding the ear infection wave Bronson: It's been 84 years Ronnie: yeah cause you're a mong that can't turn an earring Bronson: In my defense I was a legit child Bea: nothing screams low-class like stabbing your friends for the bants Charlie: and i already scream homo loudly enough, don't need another reason to be hate crime-d, a thank you Bronson: If I didn't know you I'd guess bisexual Bronson: You can have that for free Charlie: what a smooth-talker! thanks babe 💖 Charlie: and if i didn't know you, i'd guess you were trying to see my dongle Bronson: Been there, repressed the trauma o that Ronnie: get a fucking room benders Charlie: why you being so homophobic when we all know how bad you want on princess? cliche stuck in the closet much Bea: shut up Ronnie: in your wet dreams Charles Ronnie: fuck off Charlie: oh the delicious tension Charlie: too much for either to bear Ronnie: I know where she's been Ronnie: fuck that Ronnie: like you wish you could gayboy Bronson: Wait, you fancy Fraze, Charlie? Ha Bea: Bron can you not encourage either of them Bea: thanks Bronson: Sorry my mind's just blown I thought he was out of his straight boy phase Charlie: What? Its a compliment for you, he's adorable, why else would you be with him? Ronnie: they're both annoying cunts Ronnie: match made Charlie: and never out of that phase, bro 😍 #daddyissues Bea: get his name out of your mouth bitch Ronnie: oi get your mouth off his dick Fitzgerald you heard her Ronnie: princess is raging like Ronnie: when your mans a slag and youre a prude Bea: As if Bea: Only one McKenna fucked up to go near you Bea: #singletear Charlie: Children, enough Ronnie: Bron do that final 9 she's going off 😂 Bronson: Walking away Bea: know you're hard up but as per we're all funding you getting your rocks off so run along and do it, no need to bore me trying to get your kicks Ronnie: know youre a snobby cunt but I don't work for you Bea: you don't work for anyone, not even JC gonna fund your lack of a life Ronnie: 🖕 mad cause I don't need reddies to fund myself Bea: yeah fuming Bea: if only I'd have thought of selling my body, wouldn't even NEED to be at cambs rn omg Ronnie: nailed it Bea: 😂 Bea: whodathunkit Bea: talking to the cure for cancer stuck inside a waster here Bea: and I'm the snob, okay Ronnie: fucking hell Ronnie: devvo like Bea: We can tell Bea: you don't need to shout about it, you've got the energy of a walking wasteland Ronnie: can't wait until you take some more speed and get more smug Bea: Right? Bea: Must sting, better only getting better Bea: why don't you get something to numb the pain- Ronnie: let you know how it feels when the lads come up Bronson: A rare compliment, you hitting it already? Ronnie: you'll have your share calm the fuck down Charlie: i don't want any, i'm busy Charlie: glad you all noted my silence, feel so listened to usually! hmpf Ronnie: so now you're a little bitch too Ronnie: fuck's sake Bronson: PARTY TIME, am I right? Really in the mood now thanks everyone Charlie: who's in who's pussy, dollface? Charlie: keep your shirt on, Bro 😂 got enough with the two angry feminists here Charlie: I've got previous plans, if you're really so hurt, you can save me some, no? Whaddya mean that'd hurt more? 😏 Bea: you're alright, I personally rather you weren't there, suits me 😘 Bronson: Shirts already off, too late 😜 Bea: Standard 👌 Charlie: you big man whore Charlie: when i'm not around to be predatory, too, tuttut Bronson: I'd wilt under your stare, you know you aren't missing out Charlie: our beautiful wallflower Charlie: I bagsy being a red rose, lil trashy but iconic Bronson: Thorn in our sides Bronson: accepted Bea: Nice one, babe Bea: i'll be an orchid, because i'm beautiful, ornamental and high-maintenance Bea: getting in there before any of you fucks can Charlie: though your silence IS noted, wonwon Charlie: don't be cross at me 😘 Ronnie: fuck off Ronnie: you're not the only one who's busy Ronnie: got a dick in my mouth too like Charlie: such a skilled multitasker Charlie: teach me your ways Bronson: in private please Bronson: not a lesson I want to learn Bea: we're not living in that teen movie Ronnie: On my way Bea: 👍 getting cash out, meet you there Bronson: Doors on the latch

Bea: Morning sweetness 😴 Bea: manage to recover your good vibe/night? Bronson: is it? 😪 Bronson: Until now it wasn't too bad Bronson: Do you get to say the same or is it pure suffering? Bea: Wow, when you hit bae up with that morning text and he's like day=ruined 😰 thought we was forever 😉 Bea: Decided to get off with someone around the same time I lost track of yous, so it was fucking awful, don't tell me you coulda told me that Bronson: It's only the comedown I wanna dump you're welcome to come and nap 💗 Bronson: Not to be that know it all Bea: Molly's such a cruel, cruel mistress, she wants you to miss her when she's gone 💁 Bea: Poor bubba, better than waking up next to that pushy bitch from last night though, Jesus, what was her damage? Bea: I reckon he'd actually gone out and had his drunken kebab and THEN PAID TO GET BACK IN Bea: No sir, not alright Bea: Why do I bother? Bronson: But I'm shamelessly smitten, only girl for besides present company like Bronson: Whatever it is she's not the first or last sufferer Bronson: Thanks for the bail out and sorry I wasn't there to do the same with kebab Kev Bea: N'awwh 💞 glad I hold more appeal than Tina, don't need to be going down that route Bea: It's an epidemic! Basic bitches who can't get a man willing, yeah take that out on innocent onlookers who ain't buying and talk about how your ex ain't shit for being a creepy letch Bea: We see you sweets 💅 Bea: Any time, even if you weren't there to take that donner breath bullet Bea: I'd never ask that of anyone, even Ronnie, though she'd brag about not being arsed, I'm sure 😂 Bronson: Next time I'll carry gum and throw it at whoever you deem worthy Bronson: Give me the nod Bronson: It was all over her socials like we had a good night together until I got there first Bronson: Rather take out Tina and all her mates Bea: as if you don't already Bea: if only little miss would-be-rapist knew that strong jawline was from gurning up a storm 😉 Bea: not so sexy now Bronson: there's nothing in my pockets I'm just pleased to see you Bronson: Seriously though, some of those selfies had to go for that unflattering reason alone taking into account none of her other antics Bronson: I looked a state Bea: 😂 not fallen for that one before but i'll make an exception for you boo Bea: catch me in my duvet cocoon, please don't look at me 'cos same Bea: I dread to think Bea: kept off my accounts for that reason and many more, some of us have reputations to uphold, skank Bronson: want me to check Bronson: clean up the carnage Bronson: Then brunch, your treat Bea: please Bea: roleplay my IT bitch and I'll be feeling my boss best in time for a liquid lunch Bea: will have to damage control my face first, enjoy watching me lovingly whilst I turn a -2 to an 11 Bronson: Never get bored of staring at you, you know that Bronson: Make my hair great again Bronson: Thanks Bea: when you shoulda been Trump's campaign manager 😕 Bea: sort the weave, clean up that twitter Bea: what a wonderful world it coulda been Bronson: Last night proves I can't stop him pussy grabbing Bronson: Need you for that one Bea: This pussy bites back 😼 Bea: its not your fault, girls like that, if you tell her to fuck off, and rightly so, it'd be made like YOU were being a prick to her Bea: gotta bullshit these hoes sometimes, tis the only way Bronson: Or playing hard to get...they fire that one at me loads Bronson: 😦 Bea: 🤢 gross Bea: got that one myself a fair few times, when I'm not being accused of being a prude by Ronaldo, hilariously Bea: People are the worst Bea: 'cept us Bronson: It's only because she likes you Bronson: Flattering, isn't it? Bronson: Being called broken is my fave Bronson: "Who hurt you?" You are right now, fuck off before you get a slap yourself to feel the pain of Bea: Wouldn't that just be the perfect solution in their simplistic little world? If only Bea: Save myself the feelings of disgust not brought on by kebab breath Bea: Though, if you think that that's love coming from Ron, then you do have an answer to their riddle right there, not real but the masses'll take one look at her and buy it 😜 Bronson: No arguments here Bronson: Your socials are sparkling now so that's real comfort to take Bea: 💖 yay Bea: the world never need know Bea: as long as I didn't drunk dial or text Fraze, this day is looking up, tah babes Bronson: Not to be a know it all again so quick Bronson: but I'm going to go ahead and guess the answer to that one Bea: BITCH DON'T KILL MY VIBE Bea: I'm sure I'd have angry ranting in my inbox if I had Bea: or a passive indirect on the socials, come across one perchance smartiepants? Bronson: Might've Bronson: I'll spare you Bea: Noooooooooooooooooooo Bea: Coulda had it all Bea: Really sours my Bloody Mary Bea: Fuck sake, now he's going to think I FUCKED kebab kev and enjoyed it meanwhile I sit here virginal and scrubbing my mouth out with soap Bea: How's this game fair again, please remind me Bronson: It isn't Bronson: But I can't tell you to stop playing Bronson: All yours Bea: you're meant to be a superwhizkid Bea: can't you think up a strategy so I win Bronson: Thinking cap is on Bronson: Because my hair still looks shit as much as Bea: I'll fix your barnet Bea: Between you and Charlie, honestly Bea: Never known boys like it 😂 Bea: blatant lie, have you seen how particular Fraze is but he doesn't really have much hair to be stylin' so Bronson: 👴 awkward Bea: you fool Bea: not like that 😂 Bea: though I'll keep it in my backpocket for when we inevitably row later Bea: #malepatternbaldnessBITCH Bronson: Freebie to kick your day off right again Bea: if you refuse to tell me what to do, could you use your skillz for good at least and fucking disable my phone when i'm fucked Bronson: Last time I tried you tried to fight me like Bea: Look, I didn't say it was a task for the fainthearted 😉 Bea: and yes, you would be the first to succeed too Bea: but if anyone can, its my man 😘 Bronson: Ego boost before eggs Bronson: Whoa Bronson: Today is looking up Bea: Gotta keep you sweet with all the bitching I'll no doubt do at brunch Bea: such a Carrie move, like no one cares bitch, write it in your column or books or...what did she even write? Or was she just monologuing at her computer, like all been there babe but don't act like its buying you all that designer Bronson: Her real true love was that laptop Bronson: Solved it Bea: 😲 Bea: but Mr. Big Bea: clue in the name Bronson: Could be his wallet Bronson: explain the designer gear Bea: Exactly Bea: Just my type Bronson: I'd go in for it if I can spend and send him the receipts Bea: you must be aware there are websites for that Bea: get on it boy Bronson: It all gets too sexual for my tastes Bea: set out boundaries Bea: different strokes for different folks Bea: i'm SURE there's a millionaire out there that just wants to chat Bronson: 🤔 There's enough fighting off advances in the club Bronson: Shelving that until millionaires become good people Bea: not bad people by default Bea: just a bad system they profit from more than you Bronson: Getting deep in here Bronson: Truth though Bea: real talk take #2 Bea: where do you think charlie was last night? and who or what was he doing? Bronson: Good questions that I have no answer to Bronson: If he had a job we'd all know Bea: I need to know, suspense is killing me Bea: I didn't think anything beat drugs in his book Bea: somewhat encouraging? Bronson: You could ask but I doubt you'd get far enough into the real Bronson: It is Bronson: Boy's growing up? Bea: Full of the #bants them two Bronson: Since day 1 Bronson: I'm coming to get you, Barbara Bronson: Ready yourself Bea: *falls over gravestones like a dumb bitch* Bea: i'm good to go and looking fly Bronson: I'll do the coded knock Bronson: Made up rn Bea: Helpful Bronson: That's my thing Bronson: Soon, my love, soon