#floorfunction

[dangerouslyclosetothesurface]

Saturday

Today was supposed to be a cool 45ish mile ride with Conrad and friends, but I cut my ride short by putting a gash in my front tire.

Notes: - left the house at 9:15 or so, braved the Presidio hill, got to GGB Welcome Center at 9:31 or so - went over bridge at a cool 20mph, pretty good - went up Hawk Hill in a horrible fit of suffering Then, stupidity: - I cautiously went down the 18% grade thing, but caution was not enough because idk too much fear. Fought the decline but my left foot got unclipped, and I freaked out because I was rolling very quickly, and there was no flat bit in sight, so I decided to bail into a pile of sharp-looking rocks. It ended up okay, because I sustained no injuries (a few scratches, later on I also found some road rash or whatever on my shoulder), but I guess one of the sharp rocks bit my front wheel so I got a gash in the rim, tire, and tube. - Further stupidity: had to walk the rest of the way, which honestly was steep even on foot. - Even further stupidity: couldn’t see the end to the walking on gmaps, so I messaged the others to go on without me, and tried to get back to civilization to just call a Lyft home. Decided to cut through some grassy bit towards a road I saw in the distance. Unfortunately “cutting through” bushes is not that easy, especially in bike shoes and hauling a bike. Also I had no cell service. - Eventually, I had to give up and go back to the road (because the bushes were too thick and I could not move around them), where I discovered a bunch of messages, because the guys had not gone on without me and were, in fact, waiting at the end of the path. Also Conrad had to come back and convince me to salvage my tire. He also flagged down some other cyclists for repairs. Anyway this ended up ultimately failing because idk why. Rode the rest of the trail on my gross flat front wheel and told the others to go on without me. - Called a Lyft and went home. Then wheeled my bike over to Spoke Easy and replaced my tire and tube, then hassled Anson with my presence until he took a look at my drivetrain and replaced various things.

Anyway now I’m home and I am tired. The impromptu “hike” I took through various thorny bushes took a lot out of me. Also I still have not even fully processed my crash. As I’ve mentioned previously on this blog, any sort of bike crash or malfunction usually floorfunctions my mood.

Main points: I am angry at myself for being terrified and bailing. I’ve skidded my way to and from Pacifica, I definitely have the legs for this. But the fear has set in. Secondly, I am angry at myself for inconveniencing everyone else. But lastly, and most importantly, I am proud of myself for going up Hawk Hill. At an embarrassingly slow pace, but whatever, I did it!

But also seriously I need to stop being afraid (of skidding, and also everything). Also gotta tighten the springs on my pedals.