#existence itself is tiring for me and owl city wasn't lying when he said ''im far too tired to fall asleep''

[pigeonenjoyer]

FAT PIGEON HAS RETURNED I MISSED HIM SO MUCH 🥺

#fat pigeon tag #wood pigeon #columba palumbus #for weeks he was just fighting that other pigeon constantly and rarely did anything else #so he never visited and i got increasingly worried abt him #feathers were flying everywhere and even here you can see he's missing a lot of feathers and is much skinnier #i wish males weren't so territorial :( #ik it's the circle of life and natural selection and shit but i was worried fat pigeon was gonna be bullied out of his home #and it's not safe out there there are so many cattis that are excellent hunters and my dogs scare them away from here so it's safer #but he's back now and im so glad bc first of all im lov him and second of all i needed this #i've been in kind of a slump lately bc im just really burned out #existence itself is tiring for me and owl city wasn't lying when he said ''im far too tired to fall asleep'' #bc my insomnia ironically gets worse when im burned out and need more sleep and i get endlessly frustrated with it #and i've just been so. not knowing what to do with myself?? bc like i have adhd so i can't do nothing that's torture #but everything else just compounded my fatigue and when you mix that with depression you get everything that usually chers you up just #not being fun anymore. and being just another Thing that tires you out even more #it's so hard to get out of those slumps bc it's not just mental it's physical. i've been physically exhausted #and anything i could have done to get myself out of it required energy i didn't have #but then i saw fat pigeon and just. my mood did a complete 180 #i have been so happy and energetic today and obviously all my problems aren't magically solved but that's what it feels like #like i feel like im top of the world rn?? there is a reason this blog is titled ''antidepressants with wings'' bc that's what pigeons are #to me at least. i love them sm 🥹 #i wish there was a way i could tell fat pigeon that i would literally die for him and he's changed my life #ok so i MAY have bipolar disorder. but idc im gonna ride this high as long as i can