#eugh i just. they had a 'talk' with me earlier bc i'm 'making a fool of myself at church'

[starswallowingsea]

god i hate living with my parents. "We're doing this for you. You need to get a job that can pay for your insurance because when you turn 26 you're getting dropped off of ours." I know this. I have known this since I was 16 and it has been looming over my head. I happen to like my summer job though and unfortunately it's hard to find winter seasonal work in a similar field and it's not like the parks are looking for more full time people. I'd love to be the second person in our costuming department just making clothes and helping out with that full time but unfortunately its not in the fucking budget to do that and keep me on as an interpreter. I might see if I can get in there for a winter job and find an apartment though just because living with my parents makes me want to constantly blow something up or throw something. I hate this stupid country and I hate how my parents don't seem to see that I'm just so fucking lost and drowning and I hate that I feel like I can't talk to them about this because they'll just talk down to me instead of trying to help me.

#shay speaks #vent // #eugh i just. they had a 'talk' with me earlier bc i'm 'making a fool of myself at church' #bc i refuse to participate beyond sitting and standing and moving as i need to #like i do not care if i look stupid i genuinely do not give a fuck what people think of me at church #i think they're worried people are gonna start looking down on them bc i'm not participating anymore #i never want anything to do with catholicism ever again please just let me live #i can engage with it at work from an educational and historical lens but i hate hate hate having to go to mass #god. i'm gonna probably see if any of my coworkers this summer are willing to help me out with off season stuff bc im just suffering rn #as soon as i get on my own phone plan i'm just going to block my parents atp i do not want to talk to them ever again #not for a while at least