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wozman23 · 5 months

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2023 Game of the Year List

1) Alan Wake II (10/10)

Thirteen years! That's how long some fans had to wait for the follow up to the original Alan Wake. Thirteen years of uncertainty about whether we'd ever see a sequel. Thirteen years full of glimmers of hope. Thirteen years full of periods of despair. Thirteen years of Alan Wake II prototypes being passed on. Thirteen years of those projects turning into other IPs. Thirteen years of clever little nods and Easter eggs in games like Quantum Break and Control. I was a bit more fortunate. Having never owned a 360, and only finally getting to experience the original Alan Wake on PC in March of 2014, the wait was closer to a decade for me.

But from the moment I finally played the original Alan Wake, it quickly became one of my all-time favorite games. So the wait was still excruciating. Slowly, all the signs began to point toward a sequel actually existing. Remedy bought the right to the IP from Microsoft. The Control AWE expansion heavily featured Alan and hinted that we may soon be returning to Cauldron Lake. And then, it was official: Alan Wake II would finally be coming out! Even though I was far more certain by that point, it still felt surreal.

I tried to stay away from details pre-release. I wanted to go in knowing nothing. I pretty much did. Over thirteen years, so much has changed with gaming. Playing the remaster of the original shows that. Performance capture back then was in its infancy. Holding even the remaster up to today's light shows its rough edges. The atmosphere is still phenomenal. The Pacific Northwest is fully realized. But other areas have lost their luster. Animations, particularly when it comes to the characters and their facial animations feel dated in 2023. The audio is often a bit jarring. But the charm and intriguing nature of the game is still there in full effect. There were a few things I knew about the sequel. There would be two protagonists, with Saga serving as a bridge for new players. And the game would shift to more of a survival horror genre compared to the more action-focused original. That detail created a bit of fear.

Then I got to play Alan Wake II, and any fears were quelled. I can say that every, single, little decision that was made for Alan Wake II was perfect. Switching protagonists was great. Creating more tension by making enemies and encounters fewer and far between was great. Rewarding characters for exploring by hiding weapons and various upgrades off the beaten path was great. Abandoning collecting 100 damn thermoses was great! Taking the cinematic ideas from Quantum Break multiple steps forward was great. Linking all the breadcrumbs from the Remedy Connected Universe, which really seemed to come into its own in Control, was great. The visuals, great. The effects, particularly in overlaps and with jump scares, were great. The story, which answers a few key questions while creating many, many more, was great. The subtle inclusion of humor was great, especially within such a dark and serious game. On an artistic level as a whole, it was great. The interstitial songs between chapters were great in the first game. Here they were phenomenal! They command your attention. They provide their own details about the narrative. And they all absolutely slap! It would be impossible for me to pick a favorite because they're all so varied and amazing for different reasons. The graffiti in The Dark Place was great. Coffee World was great. That one moment, that was almost cut, that feels unlike anything that has ever been in a game was simply magical!

No one does music like Remedy. Their partnership with Poets of the Fall at this point is historied. All the artists they worked with on Alan Wake II were really impressive. The chapter songs from RAKEL, Poe, and ROOS + BERG feel like they occupy a eerie space somewhere between Billie Eilish and Nine Inch Nails. Mougleta and Jaimes threw down some catchier, poppy tracks. And the Paleface song packs a punch on its own just as much as it did in game. Even more impressive, Poe really hadn't really done anything in ten years, but re-collaborated with Remedy once more. Then there's Ahti, portrayed by Finnish actor and singer Martti Suosalo, who sings the beautiful Yötön Yö in Finnish.

The game really is a love letter to Finland. There's so much Finnish charm in the characters, locations, and humor, particularly with the Koskela brothers. I've always been fascinated with the Nordic region. The beauty of the area. They're unique cultures. The music coming out of that Sweden from We Are The Catalyst and Katatonia. Comedian Ismo. Or maybe it originally stemmed from watching Conan take his show there in 2006. Regardless, Alan Wake II definitely makes me want to visit Finland. It makes me want to live there. And it makes me want to learn the language just so Ahti can't sneak any secrets by me. Perkele!

I could break down nearly any of the other qualities that make the game great, and write plenty about the finer details that make them great. I could talk about practically every single character, their actions and motives, and the theories I have about them. Since release I've been absorbed with just that. I've been reading other people's interpretations and theories. I've watch many a youtube video dissecting the entire Alan Wake universe as well as the Remedy Connected Universe. I want to go back and replay Quantum Break, and Control, and the original, and even Max Payne – having never played the originals. I'd almost rather just further explore the Alan Wake rabbit hole than play other games. That has never happened before with a game. I've played a ton of amazing games over my approximately 35 years of gaming. Both entries of The Last of Us gave me slightly similar feelings, but that was more about just exploring the themes about the somewhat concrete narratives. Here, there is so much nebulousness to the narrative. We have no clue who Thomas Zane really is. We have no clue who Ahti really is. We have no clue who Alex Casey really is. Mr Door... Tim Breaker... The Bookers... Odin and Tor... the list goes on and on. We have no clue what Alice has actually been up to. We have no clue about the resolution to Saga's story, or what she's actually capable of. We really don't comprehend the mysteries of Cauldron Lake, The Clicker, parautilitarians, and so much more. And I love the game for that. For every thing I learn, or think I know, there's an ocean of things I don't know. And they mystery has its hooks in me deep.

Every little thing feels like it has a purpose. Every detail meticulously crafted. It almost doesn't feel like a game. As the game industry has evolved, and budgets reached stratospheric level, games have become safe, predictable. In the average AAA game, you can expect missions, a bunch of side missions that may be important or may just be there to pad out the game play time. You'll hunt for collectibles that often have little-to-no purpose.

Alan Wake boldly goes in a different direction. Sure, there's still a common thread that urges you to continue, and plenty of things to seek out and collect. But none of it ever feels forced or fake. It all feels like it adds to the narrative. I could even talk about the lunchboxes or nursery rhymes for quite a bit, and the way they transcend simply being collectible and puzzles to expand on the lore as well.

I feel like I could play the game a thousand times, and find new details that lead me to new theories.

Director, Sam Lake, has gone on record saying that he was happy that the game did take thirteen years to release. And as painful as the wait was, I have to agree with him. I don't think we would have got this version of Alan Wake ten years ago, or even five years ago. It feels as if it was created at the perfect point in time as a culmination of everything that Remedy has learned since the original.

Very few games have brought me to tears. The Last of Us is really the only other AAA game to do so. But after finishing Alan Wake II, and listening to the beautiful chapter songs, I found myself tearing up. Not because of the story itself, but because I'm just so damn grateful that it exists. And so damn happy that Remedy did such an excellent job and following up and exceeding my nearly insurmountable expectations.

I could talk about this game until I ran out of air. I've tried not to delve into the story to much, or mention any spoilers. But I could easily go on about all of that stuff for days. But I wouldn't want to spoil the experience for anyone. If you have any interest in the game, or just enjoy the spectacle of gaming in general, you really should play Alan Wake II. It's a once-in-a-generation game. Perhaps a once-in-a-lifetime game. I'm so happy it was recognized and rewarded at this year's Game Awards, taking home awards for Best Narrative, Art Direction and Game Direction. I thought it should have easily won for Best Music and Score considering how unique Remedy's approach is to incorporating music, and I figure it had an outside shot a GOTY, but it's hard to know feel so happy and proud of the team for all they accomplished.

When Geoff was asking on Twitter what the musical act should be, I, and many others, emphatically chimed in with “The Old Gods of Asgard!” Not allowing Poets of the Fall to let it rip live was a travesty, but I know that's often the case for live performances. It was still a wonderful moment. My worry was that they wouldn't be able to coordinate everything to give the performance the love it deserved. So it was great to see everyone show up: David Harewood, Ilkka Villi, Matthew Porretta, and Sam joining in at the end, living his best life in pure elation. The smile on his face as he danced along will live rent free in my head until the day I die. I love that man, his enthusiasm, and his reckless ambition so damn much! I also enjoyed seeing people who didn't play the game react to it, utterly confused by its weirdness. Best moment in the shows history! On Monday, the Final Draft patch comes out for Alan Wake II, which promises new content, new videos, new manuscript pages, and a different ending. It's the perfect excuse to play through the game again, which I'll plan to do after the holidays.

Please, let's not wait another thirteen years for a continuation. I don't want to be 53 when Alan Wake III comes out, which thankfully no longer feels like an if, but a when. I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more Alan Wake, and more of the Remedy Connected Universe! So until that day, I'll consume myself with fan theories, and replaying their games, and maybe finally getting around to watching a large part of the inspiration for the franchise, Twin Peaks.

2) Viewfinder (10/10)

Viewfinder quickly climbed to the Number 2 spot on my most anticipated list, behind only Alan Wake II, and much like Alan Wake II it not only lived up to the hype, but blew me away. It's a once-in-a-generation puzzle game, going toe to toe with greats like The Unfinished Swan, Portal, or The Witness. There is no other way to explain the mechanic than it feeling like magic. I cannot comprehend how you would make a game with that much freedom to reshape the world. If there was one game that it reminded me of, it would be The Unfinished Swan. Both did such an excellent job of introducing you to a lovely world, evolving their mechanics, and varying up their art styles throughout the experience. The game got some bad publicity upon release due to some of the voice over work, which I found to be an absurd criticism. Not once was I distracted by it. What did distract me was my childlike desire to toy around with the main mechanic. Not once could I break the game. Playing it was like watching a grandiose magic act. Every time I placed a picture, I understood what I was doing, but I could never believe it actually worked.

3) Cocoon (10/10)

I think Jeppe Carlsen is one of the best developers in the industry, period. His work on Inside and Limo during his time at Playdead is well respected. But for me he really made a name for himself with his smaller project, 140. So anything that he makes will be on my radar. I really hoped Cocoon could finish in my top spot this year as well, but placing it at Number 3 isn't a slight by any means. I consider all three of the games mentioned so far to be perfect or near-perfect games (as well as the next one). The main reason that Cocoon finds its place behind the other two is because if felt somewhat safe when it came to the gameplay. The atmosphere was perhaps Jeppe's best work to date. The world was as mysterious and strange as it was beautiful. However I found the gameplay, bosses, and overall puzzle design to be a bit too simple and predictable. I really applaud the one button approach, and really appreciate Jeppe's dedication to minimalism and simplicity, but I think it may have undermined much of the Cocoon experience. As expected the puzzle mechanics did evolve nicely, and never overstayed their welcome, but I was kind of left wanting a bit more complexity. The later levels did some really cool things, but I never really found myself stumped. Again, it's hard to discredit the game because of that, because part of Jeppe's design philosophy seems to favor creating puzzle games that are extremely intuitive. While I might sound a bit more critical here, its really only because I hoped for more depth. There's another game you'll find on many peoples' Game of the Year List that is absent from mine: Super Mario Bros. Wonder – a game I actually bought after Jeppe tweeted that a mechanic from it looks oddly similar to something from 140. The reason you won’t find it on my list is similar. It just didn't have enough depth for me to find it anything other than average. Wonder just plays everything so safe, never really fully explores the clever mechanics in it, and just feels so sterile in every detail. It's the biggest, major criticism I have about practically every Nintendo title these day. Every game feels like it's weighed down by Nintendo's stubbornness to evolve. They make simple games, with simple gameplay, with simple art styles, with simple stories. Despite my desire to enjoy their output, they've become predictable and boring to me. I feel as if I've outgrown them. Thankfully I don't get that feeling from Cocoon. The only less-than-stellar thing I can say about it is that the gameplay just didn't wow me. The artistry of everything else is top-of-the-class. It feels fresh and new and unique. It's really what I'd like from Nintendo these days.

4) Worldless (10/10)

Worldless was on my radar mainly due to its look, but it wasn't until the summer when I played the Xbox demo that I decided it would be a Day 1 purchase. Due to it's somewhat turn-based combat, it's not the typical game I would play. But the presentation, platforming nature, and Metroidvania structure of it coaxed me into it. And I'm glad it did, as I had a lot of fun with it. Much like Cocoon, the world was very mysterious. The biomes looked great, and the sound design complemented the world well. The animations of the characters and enemies also really impressed. It's one of those games that is somehow tranquil in its presentation, but challenging with its gameplay. Figuring out each battle felt like a puzzle, especially when trying to efficiently battle entities so that instead of simply defeating them you could absorb them to gain upgrade abilities. There were a large variety of enemies, and every one of them felt unique. There were also a lot of mechanics. Perhaps too many for me. The controls between the two characters did take some getting used to, especially considering you had double the abilities to play with, and they felt as if they didn't always align within the control scheme, especially when it came to having specific buttons to block specific attacks, whether they were physical, magical, or star attacks. So I'm sure a lot of my struggles came from not fully understanding each ability and the benefits of all of them. Between basic attacks, heavy attacks, ranged attacks, elemental attacks, combos, blocks, parries, and buffs, there was a lot to try to comprehend. And you had to also be cognizant of the use of attacks that resulted in physical damage as opposed to filling the absorption meter. Still, I took down every foe except for the two most difficult. Even a few of the last challenging ones I took down took a lot of perseverance. I'm sure I was stuck on one or two for a few hours alone. There were a few mechanics I probably never explored enough. Sometimes a single boss would help me understand one I wasn't using. Clearly the two I faltered on just represent the blind spots I still have when it comes to the mechanics, but I didn't want to resort to help via the internet. So after hours of struggling with one – but I think getting close - and making it to the other ultimate boss who I instantly noped out on, I'll just accept that failure. As opposed to Cocoon, this game's biggest issue, at least for me, was it overcomplexity. So I'm probably sounding pretty wishy-washy right now. Damned if you do, damned if you don't. Still its hard to fault the game for my own shortcomings and unfamiliarity with the depth of a good turn-based game. It rounds out the list of the game's I thought were near-perfect this year.

5) Dredge (9/10)

Dredge snuck up on me. I don't remember how I found it. I probably saw it on Twitter. But it looked like a really cool blend of tranquil gameplay and a weird, eerie, occult story. So I put my faith in it and bought it on release day. And it turned out to be precisely what I hoped it would be. The boat upgrades provided a nice sense of progression that kept me exploring the seas to hunt down every species of fish, crab, and the aberrations. The only thing I wanted more of was cutscenes that looked like the initial Animated Trailer. The recently released DLC is the next thing on my list to play. I don't think it will be a lot of content, but any excuse to sail those seas again is fine by me.

6) Tchia (9/10)

Tchia interested me when it was announced. But so many games catch my eye that it may never have got any playtime. Thankfully it was included with PlayStation Plus, so there was no excuse to not try it. The main reason it finds itself at Number 6 is because it didn't feel as unique as the previously mentioned games. You could feel its influences, the D.N.A. of other games. You had the charming ukelele parts that felt like a more cheerful The Last of Us. There was the exploration of Assassin's Creed. The climbing of the newer Zelda entries and boat travel similar to Wind Waker. That's not to discredit Tchia, because it borrowed great things from all those games, and presented them cohesively, with a fresh coat of paint, in a beautiful world. The one thing that did feel wholly unique was the traversal. Taking over animals and objects felt very satisfying. Soaring through the skies as a bird felt just as good as tumbling across terrain as a rock. It also really nailed the sense of adventure when it came to treasure hunting by incorporating the map and photos, favoring clues instead of the blatant and obvious objective marker laden experiences that so many games choose to go with these days. I had an absolute joy completing every single thing in it, and I'm glad PlayStation Plus gave me the chance to do witness its charm.

7) Humanity (9/10)

Here's another PlayStation Plus game that I played because it was a right place, right time game. I really didn't know much about it prior to release, but upon release I was reading a lot of good things online. I love a good puzzle game. It took the Lemmings concept a wrapped it up in a tranquil yet fun experience. Some of the puzzles were pretty tough, especially the one's required to reach 100% completion. In some cases, solutions took hours. One trophy in particular, due to its vague description took me way longer than it should have, stating that you had to beat a particular level “without using one of the branching commands.” I bashed my head against the wall trying to figure out how I could move platforms and everyone around to do a seemingly impossible task without using any branching commands. At one point, I finally got lucky, with so many humans walking around that they bled over into other tiles where I could manipulate their paths to the exits. Once I'd beat it, I went online to see if others struggled with it. Turns out, in that level you had TWO branching commands available. So you just needed to beat it with only using ONE, which was super simple by comparison. Thankfully I wasnt the only idiot who interpreted it wrong and brute forced the harder solution. Aside from the standard levels and challenges, the boss battles were really high points as well.

8) Hi-Fi RUSH (9/10)

Much like PlayStation Plus provided me with the last two great games, Xbox Game Pass drew plenty of my attention this year. In many cases, like with Atomic Heart, The Last Case of Benedict Fox, Ravenlok, Planet of Lana, Dordogne, Figment 2: Creed Valley, and Starfield, the experiences were middling or downright disappointing. Hi-Fi Rush was one of the exceptions. I think the best compliment I can give it is that it felt like a game from a previous generation, maybe around the PS2/XBOX or PS3/XB360 eras. It reminds me a lot of the colorful action platformers like Ratchet & Clank, Sly Cooper, and Jak. It looked great, oozed creativity, and was a ton of fun to play. Most notable though: the music. The in-house music was great, but whoever picked the licensed stuff knew my wheelhouse. From the moment early on when “1,000,000” by Nine Inch Nails came on in a boss fight, I was invested. Then there was “The Perfect Drug” in another battle. And “Honestly” by Zwan to bookend the game. But perhaps the greatest sequence came during the final stage, with “Whirring” by The Formidable Joy. For a brief moment in time, in 2011, I was enamored with that song. But I really never got into The Formidable Joy, so I forgot about it completely. So when that invisible friend reappeared to say hello again here, I fell in love with the song all over again. The entire time it played I was in a state of bliss. And one of the first things I did then night, after I beat the game, as I laid down for bed, was listen to “Whirring” again. That rediscovery was the colorful bow atop an already brilliant package.

9) Marvel's Spider-Man 2 (9/10)

Insomniac is my favorite developer of all time, largely in part thanks to Ratchet & Clank. I've been playing games for around 35 years now, nearly my entire life, but I wasn't always as invested in the hobby. The Ratchet & Clank franchise revitalized my enthusiasm for much of gaming. And for that reason, I will play any game they release if I own the console. The reason I can play games on Game Pass is because I bought the Sunset Overdrive Xbox One Bundle. However, Spider-Man isn't a property I care all that much about. What you see here is what you get. Spider-Man 2 is the typical AAA game, a graphically impressive game full of action and blockbuster moments. It is a spectacle. But it's also weighed down by the design ideas of what a typical AAA game should be. It is a step forward compared to the original. Peter and Miles gain a lot of fun powers. The less agile, more hulking Venom was really fun to play as briefly. The combat system has a depth to it that is engaging and fun. The portal mission early on dials the Ratchet & Clank rift mechanic up to 11, making the power of the PS5 feel like a true step forward, but sadly the idea is only seen in that one sequence. Overall, much of the game feels like a chore, merely serving up obstacles that get in the way of the main story. Do this side mission. Collect these things. Decide how to use your upgrade points. Get Gold in the Mysterium challenges. A lot of things just feel like they get in the way of me seeing the myriad of cool villains. It's not the most tedious AAA game, but when compared to the likes of something like Alan Wake II – which I played prior to Spider-Man 2 despite it coming out a week later because I was more hyped for it – it just feels so gamesy, and less artsy. The one really praiseworthy improvement is the traversal. Swinging around is always fun in a Spider-Man game. Here, new ideas like the wing suit make zipping around the city effortless. That part never gets old. Its overall excellence does make me wish I knew more about the franchise. Perhaps I'd be more impressed in that case. But because I don't, and because the AAA development cycle has ballooned to somewhat unsustainable levels, not only was I in the dark about the character teased in the ending, but I'd completely forgotten the plot and characters from the first game. Also, the Cube Suit Spider-Man glitch hit at possibly the worst point possible, when a disembodied head of Peter was seen crying over his Aunt May on her deathbed. Followed by an intense action sequence where I should have looked like a total badass in the Negative Suit, but instead I whooped ass as a small white cube until the gameplay slowed down and I found a working skin amongst a sea of white cubes. Fortunately, Miles' top tier Bodega Cat suit was unaffected, so I still got to watch that kitty whoop ass. Yeah, Spider-Man 2 is still a good game. But it's just that: a game. I'll still play Spider-Man 3. But I'm glad it's out of the way because as an X-Men fan, I'm far more excited for their Wolverine game, and hopefully another Ratchet & Clank. And if it were up to me, I'd scrap Spider-Man completely in favor of more Ratchet & Clank.

10) Horizon Forbidden West: Burning Shores (9/10)

Spoiler Alert: Since Zero Dawn, I've wanted to see a Horus in action. Here we finally got that moment, and it was great. Nothing much more needs to be said. That alone is worth the price of admission. Sure, there are cool new machines and weapons, and I could visit my local buddy, the Hollywood Sign, but let me just fight more Horuses?.. Horusi?... or is it one of those things where the plural is the singular?... One thing is for certain. I'm certainly going to miss Lance Reddick as Sylens. He was well known in the world of TV, but also a bastion in gaming. There was still so much mystery surrounding his character. I'll be curious to see how Guerrilla approaches that. Maybe they should just got the same route as Remedy and hire David Harewood who filled a role that was clearly originally going to be Lance's so well.

Honorable Mentions:

Jusant (8.5/10) – A charming yet simple little game about climbing a large tower, with nice art and a fun climbing mechanic, that's include in Game Pass

Bramble: The Mountain King (8.5/10) – A weird, eerie, macabre little game based on Nordic fables, that uses photorealism well, and feels like the lovechild of Little Nightmares and Hellblade. Also on Game Pass.

Solar Ash (8.5/10) – Cool, fluid traversal, drenched in a lovely style, only marred by a few gripes about the controls and framerate

Trine 5: A Clockwork Conspiracy (8.5/10) – More Trine. A beautiful fantasy world. Fun puzzle gameplay and mechanics led by Amadeus Amadeusing it up by making boxes and planks. In some cases so many abilities were added, I forgot what all I could do. As a fifth entry, its getting a bit long in the tooth, so I imagine its hard to come up with as memorable set pieces and bosses.

UVSU (9/10) – A short game jam project from Dietzribi, who made one of my favorite games of 2021, Toodee & Topdee. It's you (U) versus you (U) as you play as both the protagonist and antagonist, switching off to get to the goal, then preventing your past self from getting to the goal, then avoiding that past self then next time, and so on for multiple rounds. There's a lot that could be iterated on here, and a full game may materialize at some point in the future!

Mechstermination Force (2019) (9/10) – I found this one on Twitter. It's got some rough edges. But underneath a bit of jank is a fun little game with some really cool boss design, where you take down mechs by focusing on their weak points as they evolve through multiple phases. Creatively it reminded me a lot of one of my favorite platformers, Puppeteer. Retroactively it takes the Number 5 spot in my 2019 list, which seemed like a mediocre year overall.

The Quarry (2022) (9/10) – A campy horror choose-your-adventure game that's light on gameplay but a thrilling romp. The use of light and dark looked great and really heightened the atmosphere. It approaches uncanny valley in some instances, but overall the performances were great. My favorite game from Supermassive to date. Retroactively, it takes the Number 8 spot in my 2022 list.

Dead Space (Remake) (9/10) – If not for Alan Wake, Dead Space would be my favorite horror game. I'm not really a fan of the trend of remaking games that aren't really all that old, so I don't consider remakes for my GOTY lists. The original does rank among my Top 10 from the entire PS3 generation, and was probably a somewhere between my Number 1 and 3 game in 2008. It would probably still hold up. If I did want to check, I could simply plug the PS3 back in. If it ain’t broke, don't fix it. The original isn't fresh in my mind, so I didn't notice most of the changes. But quite a bit was changed. Weapons got new tweaks and fire modes, probably for the better. But a lot of other unneeded changes were made, like giving Isaac a voice, and padding the game out by adding side quests and a security clearance system that locked upgrades and resources away until a points in the story where you gained a level of clearance. Some people may have appreciated this stuff as it fleshed out the story, but I realized I never really cared much about the story with this one. I just wanted to slice limbs off Necromorphs, which is still so unique, and just as satisfying fifteen years later. Props again to Game Pass for letting me revisit this without spending $70 for it.

Most Anticipated:

1) Pepper Grinder Game 2) SCHiM 3) The Plucky Squire 4) THRASHER 5) Sword of the Sea 6) Hades II 7) Senua's Saga: Hellblade II 8) Gori: Cuddly Carnage 9) The Spirit of the Samurai 10) GREENFIELD 11) Rootown 12) Little Nightmares III 13) UVSU 14) Bionic Bay 15) Go Mecha Ball 16) Öooo (the next game from Nama Takahashi about a bomb-laying catapillar) 17) Symphonia 18) IKARO: Will Not Die 19) Skate Story 20) PaperKlay 21) Judas 22) Clockwork Revolution 23) Phonopolis 24) Été 25) 30 Birds 26) Marvel's Wolverine 27) Control II 28) Black Myth: Wukong 29) South of Midnight 30) Summerhill

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dukereviewsmovies · 4 years

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Duke Reviews: The Christmas Chronicles

Hi Everyone, I'm Andrew Leduc And Welcome To Duke Reviews Where We Are Continuing Duke's Yultide Reviews...

And On Today's Show, We're Looking At Last Year's Gift To Us From Netflix, The Christmas Chronicles...

This Film Follows 2 Siblings Named Teddy And Kate Pierce Who Hatch A Scheme To Capture Santa Claus On Christmas Eve. But When Their Plan Goes Awry, The Kids Join Forces With Jolly Old Saint Nick (Played By Kurt Russell) And His Elves To Save Christmas Before It Is Too Late, Will They Succeed?

Let's Find Out As We Watch The Christmas Chronicles...

The Film Starts With Videos Of The Pierce Family Celebrating Christmas But That Was Then And This Is Now, As We See That The Youngest Of The Family, Katie Is Watching The Tapes While She Looks For A New One So She Can Send A Video Letter To Santa Claus...

But While Katie Makes Her Video, Her Brother Teddy Hits Her In The Head With A Shoe So He Can Take The Camera From Her, Saying That She Can't Believe That She's Making A Video Letter To Santa Claus As She's 11 Years Old Which Leads Teddy To Try To Tell Her That There Is No Santa Claus But Despite Being A Jerk, Teddy Decides To Instead Just Say That There's No Chance That Santa Will Watch Her Video As He Only Reads Handwritten Letters In The Mail...

Yeah, Katie, With The Way You're Going You're Going To Put S.D. Kruger Out Of A Job...

Look At That Happy Face! Do You Really Want To Make Him Sad By Making Him Obsolete, Of Course Not...

Going To Meet His Friends, Katie Tells Teddy That She's Coming With As He's Supposed To Be Watching Her But Instead He Dumps All Of The Fish Food Inside Of Her Fish Tank In An Attempt To Get Away...

Managing To Save Her Fish (I Guess, I Would Think That Getting Them Into Cups Of Water Would Take Longer Than That) Katie Follows Teddy To See Him And His Friends Carjacking A Car...

Confronting Teddy On It When He Gets Home, It Leads To A Fight Between The 2 That Knocks Over Their Family Picture And Their Christmas Tree But When Their Mother (Played By Father Of The Bride's Kimberly Williams Paisley) Returns Home Asking What Happened, Kate (While Telling The Truth At First) Lies For Teddy Saying That Teddy Pushed Her Into The Wall Knocking Over The Picture...

Mad At Her Kids For Not Getting Along, She Tells Teddy To Put Up The Tree And To Decorate It As Their Father Would Have Decorated By Now...

Yep, We're Going With The Old Father Figure Is Dead And Everyone Is Handling It Badly Routine..

Decorating Cookies With Kate, Mom Gets An Emergency Phone Call Telling Her That She Has To Handle The Night Shift At Her Job At The Hospital, Forcing Teddy To Babysit Kate For The Night...

Going Up To His Room For The Night, Kate Asks For Him To Do Something Together With Her Since It's Christmas Eve And Ever Since Their Dad Died, All He Wants To Do Is Hang Out With His Friends Instead Of Her, But Comparing Her To A Boring Slug, Teddy Goes To His Room...

Watching Christmas Videos After The Cookies Are Done, Kate Notices A Hand In A Red Coat In The Picture That Katie Believes To Be Santa Claus...

Showing Teddy The Video, He Considers The Possibilities While Kate Already Has Goosebumps. Suggesting That They Make A Video, Teddy Is Like People Have Tried This Before What Makes You Any Different Than Them? And Despite Having Proof, Teddy Says No...

However, Kate Tells Teddy That If He Helps Her Pull It Off, She'll Give Him The Tape Of Him And His Friends Carjacking The Car And She Won't Say Anything To Mom As Swears On An Award Their Dad Won...

So, Setting Up Traps Like Home Alone Because The Guy That Directed That Directed This Movie Which Means We Got To Have This Music Playing...

Setting Out The Milk And Cookies, They Hide In And Eat Junk Food In An Attempt To Stay Awake, But Eventually They Fall Asleep Which Is When Everything Happens...

With Their Trap Springing, A Bell Wakes Up Kate Who Sees Santa And Wales Up Teddy Who Hears Santa On The Roof, Grabbing The Camera, Teddy And Kate See Santa Going From Roof To Roof And House To House As Follow Him To An Alley Where They Find The Sleigh...

Whoa, Is Right, Keanu...

Climbing Trucks, Buildings And Lightpoles To Get A Good Look At The Sleigh, Kate Ends Up Jumping In With Teddy Right Behind Her But Before They Can Get A Good Look At The Cockpit, Santa Finishes Up And The Sleigh Flies Off...

With Teddy Getting A Good Look At The Front Of The Sleigh, Kate Eventually Gets Cold...

And At That Height, It's No Wonder She Does...

Teddy Looks For A Blanket But Not Able To Wait Kate Goes To Ask Santa, Scaring Him And Causing The Sleigh To Go Off Course...

Going Higher, Kate Falls From The Sleigh But Luckily Teddy And Santa Are Able To Save Kate But In Doing So, They Get In The Way Of An Airplane Which Scares The Reindeer As They Enter Some Sort Of Hyperdrive Which Is Awesome But Once They Get Out Of Hyperdrive Mode, Santa Loses His Hat, The Presents And The Reindeer...

Crash Landing In Chicago, Santa Tells The 2 Kids That They Really Have Messed Things Up Stating That If He's Not Up And Running Within A Few Hours, The World Will Face Another Dark Ages...

Going For A Jingle Bell In The Sleigh, Which Will Lead Santa To His Presents, But As He Goes Find It The Magical Way, Santa Finds That He Doesn't Have His Magic As All Of It Was Inside Of His Hat...

Realizing That He Has To Do This The Normal Way, Santa Tells Teddy And Kate To Head Home (They're In Chicago How Are They Going To Get Home Without You?) And Not Bother Getting Up Early In The Morning As They're On The Naughty List For Life (That's Fine, But You Already Delievered Their Presents, Dummy)

Realizing That They Caused This, So, They Have To Help Santa To Make It Right, Santa Let's Them Come With Despite Being Pissed At Them...

Entering A Restaurant Called Nick's Place, Santa Tries To Get Enough Money From The Patrons So He Can Call A Taxi, But When Teddy Notices One Of Them, Dialing 911, He Gets Santa Out Of There...

However, With Christmas Spirit Down 35%, They Still Need A Ride So, Teddy Decides To Steal Some Car Keys From A Valet. Despite Santa And Kate Believing That That's Not A Good Idea, Teddy Reminds Santa That With Christmas On The Line Now's Not A Time To Be Picky Especially When Santa Breaks Into Houses To Deliver Gifts Every December 24th...

Plus, They're Not Really Breaking The Law As The Car's Already Stolen And When They're Done With It They'll Turn It Into The Police. Getting In The Car, They Drive Off In It...

Going Through All The Junk In The Car, Santa Turns The Car Radio Into A Police Band Reciever To Discover If Anyone Has Called The Police Yet And Turns Out They Have However They Also Also Hear About A Reindeer Sighting On Michigan Avenue...

Arriving On Michigan Avenue, Teddy Slows Down The Car So Santa Can Attempt To Call His Reindeer But When Kate Spots Them They Head Down The Street Where Kate Saw Them Only To Lose Them Again And With Police Approaching They Need To Hurry...

Santa Tells Katie To Go After The Reindeer While Teddy And Him Keep The Police Distracted, Which They Do By Driving All Over The City. Eventually Finding The Reindeer, Kate Gives Comet A Candy Cane Which Makes Him Trust Her Enough To Take Him And The Other Reindeer To See Santa...

Chasing The Police Around Chicago, Teddy And Santa Nearly Crash Into A Car Which Leads Them Jump Into A Snowbank...

Getting Out Of The Car, Teddy And Santa Try Explaining The Situation To The Officers But With What They're Saying To The Officers, Santa And Teddy May As Well Be Telling Them, Go Ahead, Arrest Us!

Which Is Exactly What They Do With Santa, However When Kate Shows Up With The Reindeer, Santa Gives Teddy The Jingle Bell That Locates His Sack And Manages To Get Away From The Cops By Hopping On One Of The Reindeer...

Dumping The Reindeer At A Christmas Tree Lot, They Head For A Church Where Teddy And Kate Hear Their Dad's Favorite Christmas Song Which Happens To Be My Mom's Favorite Christmas Song...

(Just Kidding, She Hates This Song, Love You Mom)

This Leads To A Tender Moment Between The 2 Siblings Where We Discover The Reason Teddy Is Acting Like A Jerk Is Because He's Mad At His Father For Dying And He Thinks That If His Father Could See Him Now He Wouldn't Like The Man That He's Become...

But Kate Tells Him That He's Not An Awful Brother And That Their Dad Wouldn't Be Disappointed In Him Because She Sees Him All The Time In Teddy...

Or In Other Words...

With The Bell Beeping More Frequently, The Kids Continue Their Quest While Santa Is Being Questioned By One Of The Officers Who Still Doesn't Believe Santa But Giving The Officer Gifts He Wanted Since He Was A Boy, The Officer Starts Questioning Things After Realizing That Frisked Santa On The Way In So There's No Way That He Stole Those Items...

With The Officer Telling Santa To Stop, Santa Instead Gets To What Dave Wants This Year Which Is To Get Back Together With His Ex-Wife, Freaking Out Over How Santa Knows This, Santa Says That It Doesn't Matter But All He Needs To Do Is Just Give Her A Call....

Doubting Everything That He Has Seen, The Officer Reminds Santa Of The Charges That He's Accused Of Which Leads Santa To Tell The Officer That By Tomorrow They'll Seem Like Nothing As Christmas Spirit Is Down To 31% Now And If He Doesn't Get Moving All Of Chicago Will Look Like The Purge Movies And The Police Will Have Their Hands Full...

But With The Officer Believing Him To Be Some Kind Of Con Man, He Locks Santa Inside Of A Cell With A Bunch Of Other Criminals...

Meanwhile, Teddy And Kate Locate The Bag In A Tree And Manage To Get It Out Of The Tree, Looking For Elves Inside Of The Bag, Kate Goes Inside Of It Only To Disappear. In An Attempt To Look For Kate, Teddy Gets Kidnapped By 3 Hoods Who Take The Bag...

While Inside Of The Bag, Kate Finds One Of The Elves Who Leads Her Into This Vortex Of Presents...

Which Eventually Takes Her To The North Pole..

While Looking Around The North Pole, Kate Decides To Look At Santa's Many Letters From Kids All Over The World To Look At Teddy's Many Letters To Santa Claus Only To Discover That Teddy Wrote One This Year Asking Santa If He Can Let Him See His Father One Last Time...

But Before We Discover The Reason Why, Kate Sees One Of The Elves Walk Past To Go And Hide, Eventually Finding Him, Kate Introduces Herself To Him And The Other Elves Who She Eventually Finds Saying That Santa Sent Her But The Elves Don't Believe Kate And They Tie Her Up With Lights...

Telling The Head Elf (Who Looks Nothing Like David Krumholtz) Everything, They Take Kate To A Book To Show Kate That She Comes From A Long Line Of True Believers...

And The Elves Are Like...

And They Release Her....

Back At The Police Station, The Police Station Starts Filling Up As The Officer's Partner Tells Him That It's Never This Busy On Christmas Eve, Which Has The Officer Realizing That Santa Warned Him About This...

While In Jail, Santa Discovers That Christmas Spirit Is Down To 19% So, He Decides To Try And Raise It By Livening Up A Little Bit Of The Spirit With Help Of The Convicts Inside Of The Jail Cell With Him...

youtube

Back In The Car Of The Hoods, They Take Teddy To Their Boss Who Goes Through Santa's Sack Only To Get A Lump Of Coal, The Hoods Do The Same And Get The Same Thing. Believing The Sack To Be Useless,The Hoods Boss Attempts To Burn The Sack...

But When Teddy Goes To Save It, The Hoods Grab Teddy So Their Boss Could Tell Them To Kill Teddy, However, As They Attempt To Do That The Elves Spring From The Sack And Attack Them...

(Man) Retreat!

Spotting Teddy Who Hid During The Attack, The Elves Attempt To Attack Teddy (Believing That He's One Of The Gang Members) But Luckily Kate Pops Up And Tells The Elves To Stop Before Teddy Is Sliced In Half By A Mini Chainsaw...

Realizing That The Sleigh Is Still Broken, They Ask The Elves To Fix It While Santa Settles Things With The Officer, Who Gets A Call From His Ex-Wife Who Wants To Get Back Together With Him...

Breaking Santa Out Of Jail, The Elves Give Him A New Hat, Courtesy Of Mrs. Claus And So, The Officer's Permission, Up The Chimney He Goes...

With Everything Back On Track, Christmas Seems To Be Back On, However, While Being In Jail, Santa Lost Track Of Time And They Now Have Less Than An Hour Before Sunrise...

Completely Hopeless, Teddy Tells Santa That That They Started This And They're Going To Finish It And While He May Not Know How Things Are Done At The North Pole, A Pierce Always Sees Things Through...

Admiring Teddy's Passion, Santa Still Hasn't Cut It This Close In Forever And Has No Clue How They're Going To Pull This Off, Suggesting That If They Work Together They Might Be Able To. Never Having Human Helpers In The Sleigh Before, Santa Realizes That With Only A Little Bit Of North America Left, They Just Might Be Able To Pull It Off...

With Kate In Charge Of Chucking Out The Presents For Santa To Deliver And Teddy In Charge Of Driving The Sleigh, Santa Starts Delivering Toys From House To House And State To State...

With Time Getting Tight, Santa Asks Kate To Ask The Elves To Help Him...

Missing One Present, They Have Less Than 9 Minutes To Get It There...

Managing To Get It There Only Three Seconds Left, Christmas Is Saved With All The Presents Delivered And Christmas Spirit At 95%...

Taking Teddy And Kate Home, They Ask Santa If They'll Ever See Him Again, Santa Tells Them Most Likely No, But If He Ever Needs 2 Helpers He Knows Where To Find The Best Helpers He's Ever Had..

But Before He Goes, Santa Gives Teddy His Hat, Saying That He Doesn't Need It Because He's Santa Claus...

Hoping On Board The Sleigh, Santa Leaves Just As Their Mom Pulls Up....

Going Inside, They Find The Place Completely Decorated The Exact Way Their Father Decorated It...

Opening Presents, They Get Their Usual Ugly Sweaters From Their Aunt Peggy Before Kate Discovers A Gift To Teddy From Santa, Opening It He Finds A Letter That Says "Dear Teddy, I Got Your Letter. I'm Sorry, I Don't Have The Power To Grant Your Wish But This Was The Best I Could Do, Santa"...

Opening It To Discover An Ornament, Teddy Places It On The Tree, And The Magic Within The Ornament Shows Teddy, His Father Who Says He's Proud Of Him...

Back At The North Pole, Santa Adds Teddy's Name To The Pierce Tree Of True Believers As Mrs. Claus (Played By Goldie Hawn) Comes In With Wood For The Fire While Talking With Santa About Last Night...

And That's The Christmas Chronicles And Why Has This Not Been Released On DVD Or Blu-Ray?

This Film Is A Holiday Classic In The Making And Is Honestly A Good Movie, The Story Is Good, The Cast Is Good, The Elves Are Cute, The Effects Were Awesome It Is Defiantly Worth A Watch And I Say See It...

Till Next Time, This Is Duke, Signing Off...

#Netflix #The Christmas Chronicles #kimberly williams paisley #merry christmas #christmas #movie review #Movies #Kurt Russell

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dan-alexander-art · 4 years

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Personas

Man it has been a long time since I posted anything. I wanted to apologize for that, things have been hectic. Especially with University but through all that I've been doing a lot of self discovery and realized I'm not one person, but actually six (plus a train of thoughts). Most people might think it's Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID or Multiple Personality Disorder) but that's not what I have. After talking to a therapist about this she's helped me see that they're just different parts of me. I knew it wasn't DID to begin with since I didn't have blank memories. It took awhile but after trying to listen to my different parts I figured out who they are and their own stories. Most have their own tastes of music and that has helped me a lot in figuring out on who they are, what they do and what they're like. So below I their bios as well as a short story of them and how they came to be. This is right to left.

Name: Love and Memories

Nickname: Rose

Likes: Listening to Maroon 5 and songs about love. Look back at happy memories. Giving Lillies or Bonsai Trees to friends.

Bio: Love has been around a long time, he's the second longest persona that existed. When he's around he doesn't care what to wear. When he's present he likes to go back and remember both the good and bad in my life. He has a deeper understanding between a good relationship and a bad relationship. The vines represent a current relationship I have, weather it's a friendship or family relations. When the vines are mostly thorns rather than flowers it means the relationship is toxic and should be fixed. If there are more flowers than thorns then the relationship is healthy. The point where the toxicity has gotten really bad is when the rose on his right eye begins to wither. Whenever we get friends he symbolically gives said friend either a lily or Bonsai tree since these require lots of care, love and patience just like a real friendship. Love isn't too hesitant about forming new bonds but only after a certain amount of time. He's not shy but most people would assume since he doesn't speak much, but in reality he just doesn't know how to communicate well and worries it might come out wrong, misunderstood or offensive.

Name: Beast

Nickname: ---

Likes: Feeding off my insecurities and taunting me

Bio: Beast is a dangerous persona that requires me to have full control of what goes on. Beast can control the other personas. For example Beast can make Love rewind traumatic memories and leave me feeling paralyzed. He is the embodiment of negativity and he enjoys seeing me suffer. If I'm not careful he can and will slowly crawl up behind me. Starting with small whispers of insecurities then building on until he's shouting taunts at me. Shouting all my fears, my worries and my worthlessness to the point of crying.

Name: Hurt

Nickname: Wolf

Likes: Listening to Linkin Park, Three Days Grace, Katy Perry and any type of strengthing music. Wearing rings and bracelets.

Bio: Hurt carries a lot of scars and wounds on him that represent emotional and mental scars and wounds I carry. He doesn't mind showing them off, he actually finds them empowering. To him it shows not only what he's been through but even through all that he's still here. Hurt isn't afraid aside from Beast. Beast is the only thing that scares him. Hurt also doesn't mind crying, it just means he's human like everyone else. When he's around he lets me cry when I need to but also reminds me that there's always a better tomorrow. That whatever is going on in my life doesn't mean the world is going to end and this experience is only going to make me stronger. Hurt's nickname comes from his ability to change into a wolf. The form represents the pride he has for being able to continue walking down this path dispite the curveballs life has thrown at us. Hurt is very wary of new people and doesn't open up on the spot. Though he's very kind and is willing to comfort people who are hurting. He always puts other people ahead of himself. The cracked eye shows that Hurt's soul is part broken, since the eyes are the windows to the soul. The cracked has a tendency to bleed every now and then and because of the cracked eye his perspective is warped. What caused the cracked eye is something Hurt doesn't want to talk about or explain.

Name: Ying & Yang

Nickname: Unity

Likes: Listening to NoCopyrightSounds (NCS) and other types of beat music. Wearing a black hoodie.

Bio: Yang has a deep understanding for human behavior and human emotions but doesn't understand his own. When he's around I just have a strong emotion of movement and color. Yang is very powerful, he can alter my reality. He helps me see different perspectives. Yang also has a different side called Ying. Yang is calm, collective and uses his ability to make my day brighter. Ying is a bit more unstable, he changes my reality in order to escape it. Ying doesn't always show up but when he does it's often from stress and a sense of lack of control. Unlike Yang, Ying doesn't see color. He only sees static black and white. This static helps calm my mind by focusing on less. Ying is also chaotic and makes me go through healthy mental breakdowns. Though Ying's mind is also disturbing compared to Yang's. Ying doesn't mind listening to twisted music and watching gorey movies.

Name: Smart Alec

Nickname: Yukio

Likes: Listening to lo-fi and reading music. Reading fiction books. Peace and quiet whenever possible.

Bio: Alec is the first persona to be around, he only focuses on school and is always planning ahead. He rarely makes me forget to do HW. Alec would often scare me into doing HW fast and early. Though it pays off. He loves reading especially the Wings of Fire series. The combination of music and reading helps keep him immersed into the world. He's often very technical and often likes to argue with science. He's all about the facts and research, he sees educating one's self is important especially with the type of world he's in this time around. He's hardworking and studying whenever it's necessary. He use to push me to my limits but is now more lenient and doesn't make me overdo it when it comes to studying. He's not really too comfortable in crowds and prefers to be with a small group or being alone. He doesn't mind a challenge, in fact he actually welcomes it. Alec doesn't see any reason for emotions and he lacks a lot of emotion himself. Although he doesn't see it as bad he does see it as a burden, especially if when I'm upset but there's a task to be done. Though he encourages me to do said task, like he always says: Once you hit rock bottom, the only way now is up.

Name: Creativity

Nickname: Twilight

Likes: Listening to Alan Walker, Zedd and any upbeat music, but mostly music in general. Drawing and painting, especially adding a new drawings to my bedroom walls. Playing videogames, mostly JRPGs. Wearing hoodies and comfortable clothes.

Bio: Creativity likes to turn Yang's vision of colors into meaning. He often translates those colors into drawings. The same goes when he listens to music. When he's around he always compeles me to draw even if it's late. He gives me a drive to continue drawing. He also looks out for my wellbeing by helping me balance between downtime and chores. Creativity is also the one who gave the other personas nicknames. He's mostly shy but that shyness doesn't stay around when he's playing competitively. He won't hesitate to pick up a controller when it comes to games such as Smash Bros. Playing games helps with the ongoing stresses in life but also helps spark new ideas. Creativity also likes to world building and create new characters for his world building. He's always positive and helps me through my hard times by drawing vent art. Creativity is a Walker fan himself, if you're curious he's Walker #37804.

Name: Lust

Nickname: Blaze

Likes: Listening to Ke$ha, Avril Lavigne, Green Day and any type of party music. Think about sex as a means to relieve anger, frustration or irritation. Wearing multiple necklaces and high tops.

Bio: Lust didn't always have free will especially early on. He was always fueled by rage, hate and anger. He often protected me by being cold and learning to fight back. He was present in my early years of starting Elementary school as a way to keep a distance from people who would try to hurt me. Though because of his lack of free will he would often make me feel angry and ready to clock anything even if it was just bothering me. The lack of freewill came from Beast. In fact Beast and Lust use to be one. With Beast fueling his anger with hurtful words. It wasn't until Ying and Yang helped them be their own person that Lust started to control his anger. Now he just likes to display himself as someone against authority when he believes something is wrong. And he uses that anger as a passion to participate in marches and protests. Though Lust hasn't completely shed influence from Beast. He possesses the ability to become a dragon. He can do this at will but not when he's angry. The angrier Lust gets the more dragon like he becomes. Only when he gets enraged does Lust become a full dragon. Lust is very protective, not just protective of me but also of my friends. He cares about other people and displays it as being protective. If anyone messes with my friends, Lust won't hesitate to get even. He's also very raw when it comes to intercourse and sees it as nothing more than human nature and not something to be ashamed about. Though he also holds consent to a high standard. If we're out he'll make sure me or someone there doesn't end up getting taken advantage of or be in a dangerous situation. Intercourse is very secrete to him and not something someone should have the ability to abuse.

#digital art #personas #charcter art #charcterdesign #persona drawing #digital illustration

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tb5-heavenward · 6 years

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Harvard!Christmas - 3

Part 1 // Part 2 //

I hope you didn’t expect this to stay cute and cheerful. this is harvard, fam. i have a reputation to consider.

It's not the kitten who wakes him in the morning, but the pounding of a fist against his front door.

It's an unpleasant thing to wake up to, because it doesn't register immediately as what's woken him, and for the first few moments he doesn't connect the sound to its source. There's just a loud pounding noise and he has no idea what it is---until he does. John sits bolt upright and then scrambles out of bed, stumbling down the hallway from his bedroom and to the front door of the apartment, where he fumbles to unlock the door, without stopping to check who's there.

And he opens the door to find the building manager, yet again, only this time all the cordiality has disappeared from his manner, and his expression is taut and tense with disapproval. John's first thought is that somehow (probably owing to the few pounds of sand he'd stolen for a makeshift litterbox) the contraband kitten has been discovered, and he's being evicted, but instead the manager just holds out his phone. There's no "merry Christmas" this time, nor even a "good morning". The man's voice is flat with exaggerated patience as he says, "Your father's on the line. Apparently you haven't been picking up your phone."

The irritation of the man standing in front of him is paltry compared to the towering disapproval of the man on the other end of the line. John's only about a minute out of bed, and he's as disheveled as he ever is, still bleary-eyed from sleep and with his hair tousled and his pajamas rumpled, and in any other situation he'd be embarrassed to be caught like this in front of a semi-stranger---but the capacity for any emotion more complex than sheer horror has vanished. When the building manager gestures insistently with his phone, John's reaction is automatic and he takes it---but there's a wild moment of panic in which he wants nothing more than to throw it down the hallway, slam the door and bolt it, and then walk briskly across his apartment and straight off his fourth story balcony.

Instead he holds it up and hears the disconnected faintness of his own voice as he says, "Hello?"

"John. We've been worried about you."

Just the sound of his father's voice---separate entirely from his tone and what he's said---is enough to make John want to fall through the floor. He feels like some part of himself has detached and departed, because he can hear himself answer, but can't comprehend how he's able to say anything at all, "---I'm sorry. I-I got home really late, I just wanted to go to bed. I just---I forgot to turn my phone back on."

"This kind of irresponsibility is something I count on you not to demonstrate, John."

"I'm sorry. Dad, I---"

"When you called me yesterday, I didn't form the impression that I was the only person who'd been told you were heading back to Boston. No one else knew where you'd gone. You'd been missing for hours with no word to your brothers, to my mother---by the time I got home, they were getting ready to start calling hospitals. And no further word from you until now? Because I contacted your landlord, on Christmas morning?"

John feels himself cringe, and distantly notices the way that the building manager is staring at him, watching the half of the conversation that he's privy to. He should probably be at least vaguely horrified by this, but he can't even bring himself to properly register the man's continued presence. All that matters is his father's voice on the line, his expectant silence as he waits for an explanation. There's no point in trying to justify himself, all he can do is stammer out another useless apology, "I'm sorry."

This isn't what his father wants. "I'm not especially interested in your apology, John. But later today you will be calling your grandmother, to tell her how sorry you are for frightening her, and your little brother, who held out hope that you would be back by Christmas morning. I don't know when I've ever been so disappointed in your behaviour. I expect much, much better from you."

That's always been true, and John's always known that it's true, but hearing it stated when he knows he's failed to meet that expectation makes him want to die. "Yes, sir."

"Apologize to your building manager for the trouble you've put him to on Christmas Day. Charge your phone. I'd better hear that you've spoken to your brothers and your grandmother before the end of today. Goodbye."

It's abrupt, but maybe that's merciful, really. John plummets back into the present and manages not to break down in the hallway in front of his building manager. He hands the man's phone back, uncomfortably conscious of the way he's being looked at, the way the man's irritation has melted into something like pity. "I'm very sorry for the intrusion," John says, and can't even manage to wish that he sounded sincere, instead of just hollow and perfunctory, as though he's only apologizing because he's been told to. He wonders if the other half of the conversation had been audible at all, in the way that phone conversations sometimes are. He hopes not.

"Honest mistake," the manager says quickly, and then briefly, impulsively, pats John's shoulder. "Glad there was nothing wrong. I think it's just that you gave your family a bit of a scare, is all. But it all worked out. Merry Christmas."

"Same to you," John answers numbly, and then closes the door.

His phone waits where he left it, in the pocket of his discarded coat, over by the radiator.

[19 missed calls]

Scott

[24/12/2055 06:38:02 Scott: hey jaybird, where'd you go?]

[24/12/2055 06:38:41 Scott: al says you probably went to cool off some place, you maybe wanna let me know where?]

[24/12/2055 07:02:20 Scott: virgil's dealing with gordon]

[24/12/2055 07:05:13 Scott: I'm sorry about gordon, he wasn't supposed to fly out on his own. he was supposed to show up with dad to keep him in line.]

[24/12/2055 08:12:29 Scott: look i know you're mad but don't do this shit johnny, it's christmas]

[24/12/2055 08:41:48 Scott: John seriously. Pick up your phone.]

[24/12/2055 09:30:58 Scott: Dad is gonna be landing at the airport in an hour John, I do not want to tell him that we can't fucking find you.]

[24/12/2055 09:35:17 Scott: if you've crashed your stupid rental car into a ditch on some stupid backroad john I'm personally gonna haul you out and kick your ass the whole way back home]

[24/12/2055 09:36:11 Scott: I didn't mean that. Sorry. Please just pick your phone up.]

[24/12/2055 09:59:01 Scott: okay well we're gonna start calling the hospitals/highway patrol/the fucking cops in a minute here john, so if you're just being an ass now would be a real good time to fucking quit it]

[24/12/2055 10:25:31 Scott: okay. talked to dad. he's furious, by the way. so that's fun. thanks for that. sometimes I literally just cannot fucking believe you. merry goddamn christmas, John.]

Virgil

[24/12/2055 06:20:52 Virgil: okay, i'm really really sorry about Gordon. he was supposed to fly in with dad. I'm not going to make any excuses. He's way out of line.]

[24/12/2055 06:21:04 Virgil: if you've gone for a drive because you need some time to cool off that's fine, but don't do anything stupid like turn your phone off, okay?]

[24/12/2055 06:21:43 Virgil: like I know you do that when you're pissed and you have every right to be pissed but we live in the middle of nowhere and the roads aren't great out here and everybody would feel better if you kept your phone on.]

[24/12/2055 06:34:49 Virgil: also please text me back.]

[24/12/2055 07:46:18 Virgil: John, you've been gone for an hour and a half and nobody knows where. Grandma's really worried.]

[24/12/2055 07:46:31 Virgil: if you make my Grandma cry on Christmas Eve, J, then you and me are gonna have a problem]

[24/12/2055 08:50:18 Virgil: look john, if you're reading these, then at least acll Alan, he's freaking out. you're actually scaring the shit out of him. the poor kid pretty much worships you and you go and pull something like this. at christmas. come the fuck on johnny.]

[24/12/2055 09:15:27 Virgil: okay. your phone is off.]

[24/12/2055 09:42:53 Virgil: I mean at this point I think Scott's actually hoping that you're upside down in a ditch somewhere because if you're ignoring texts and calls like this, he's legitimately gonna kick your ass until you die.]

[24/12/2055 10:01:45 Virgil: we've gotta call dad. like, this is the warning. i think we've been kinda covering for you in case this is just a stupid tantrum, but it's been three hours now john. please just answer somebody.]

[24/12/2055 10:02:04 Virgil: if something's happened to you then we need to start doing something, and dad literally has enough pull to have the entire county searched from orbit.]

[24/12/2055 10:02:24 Virgil: I don't know if you realize how scary this actually is.]

[24/12/2055 10:45:08 Virgil: Okay. so, you've just left the fucking state. you're not dead. when dad gets ahold of you you're maybe gonna wish you were. but i guess I'm trying to be glad you're okay.

[24/12/2055 11:21:38 Virgil: all right well whenever you get this. Probably when you get back to Boston. I don't know what to tell you, other than that I can't actually decide if I'm madder at you or at gordon. you've both been total fucking jackasses and this shit can't continue. you're as bad as each other. I don't think we've had a christmas this bad since Mom died.]

[24/12/2055 11:22:01 Virgil: maybe think about that.]

Alan

[24/12/2055 06:44:19 Alan: gordon's super drunk and he's being really really dumb. virg and scotty are gonna cover for him but they shouldn't. i totally don't blame you for leaving. i wish i could leave too.]

[24/12/2055 07:01:36 Alan: when you come back we should go hang out in the barn. one of the barn cats had kittens over the summer and they're all still around]

[24/12/2055 07:01:44 Alan: they're cute]

[24/12/2055 07:28:53 Alan: scotty took the truck to go look for you, but i think that's probably kind of stupid. it's dark and the roads are pretty bad.]

[24/12/2055 08:02:14 Alan: virgil put gordon to bed and told me to tell dad he has food poisoning. stupid gordon.]

[24/12/2055 08:21:45 Alan: I think grandma's kind of upset.]

[24/12/2055 09:07:19 Alan: did you see the geminids this year? it was too cloudy here, but i checked the weather near Boston and it was supposed to be clear]

[24/12/2055 09:12:32 Alan: i guess it's hard to get out to anywhere with dark enough skies if you don't have a car]

[24/12/2055 09:33:41 Alan: do you miss driving? i'm excited to learn. Grandma let's me back the truck out sometimes. virg said he'd teach me when I'm old enough.]

[24/12/2055 10:01:27 Alan: are you gonna be home soon? everybody's kind of worried.]

[24/12/2055 10:40:49 Alan: dad says you had to go back to Boston for school stuff. I guess it was important.]

[25/12/2055 12:01:02 Alan: merry christmas, johnny]

John turns his phone off again.

#some kind of creative doubt

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