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deke-rivers-1957 · 7 months

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Toby and Pop In Ireland

Ah'm lookin at mah chicken an Ah think it looks good. Ah try ta take a bite.

"Do ya like it?"

Ah keep the piece of chicken in mah mouth. Ah dunno what ta think of it. It ain't the best chicken Ah ever got. Also ain't so bad that Ah wanna cry.

"Ah think it'll be fine, Pop. Still ain't like yer chicken."

"Yeah. Like Ah said earlier, food ain't gonna taste the same cause we's high up. Everythin's gonna be more like a cracker."

Ah smile a little cause that means Ah ain't gonna have a burny mouth.

"Ah think Ah'm gonna be able ta finish this Pop."

"Atta boy. Once we have our breakfast in the mornin we's gonna eat good."

"Is we goin ta a pub, Pop?"

He thinks for a minute.

"Ah think it ain't fer ya. They gots all kinds a fish places."

Mah eyes're wide.

"They's got catfish, Pop?"

"Oh they ain't got catfish Toby. They got fish sticks type fish. Ain't gotta worry bout buyin 'em frozen no more. We's able ta get 'em fresh jus bout anywhere."

Ah scratch mah head.

"Ah like fish sticks. Now Ah wanna try Ireland fish sticks, Pop."

"Tha's good son. Ah think yer gonna really like it there."

Ah nod an go back ta eatin mah chicken.

Time Skip

Ah feel mah Pop shakin me awake.

"Toby wake up. We's gonna be landin soon."

Ah rub mah eyes an look out the window. Ah ain't seein clouds no more so we's gotta be landin.

"So's we gonna be havin breakfast before landin?"

"Tha's right, son. Ah asked the nice woman ta bring ya pancakes an hot chocolate."

Ah wiggle in mah seat a little.

"Yay! Ah like pancakes an hot chocolate."

Pop pats mah head an Ah stop wigglin.

"Awright son, here's yer breakfast."

Pop sets me up ta eat. Ah look at what Ah got. Ah got me 3 pancakes an 2 syrups. Tha's fine wit me cause Ah don't need a syrup fer each pancake.

"Ah like pancakes, Pop."

Ah keep eatin mah pancakes an drink mah hot chocolate.

"Yeah it'll do the trick till we get lunch."

Ah watch Pop drink his coffee.

"Do ya hate yer coffee, Pop?"

"Sure ain't sweet tea son. Airplane people're doin their best. Jus gonna have ta deal wit it. If this type a food's good then nobody'd wanna stay in the house. They'd be livin in an airplane all their lives."

Ah think bout that. Flyin in a plane ain't so bad. Then Ah think bout havin ta use the bathroom.

"Ah don't wanna live on no airplane, Pop. Bathroom's too small an ya gotta wait fer other people."

"Tha's right son. We jus gotta make do wit what they give us."

Ah nod cause Pop's sayin truths. Ain't no reason ta complain when it ain't hurtin me. Small bathrooms an a long wait hurts me but Ah know the airplane people can't do nothin bout that. Bigger planes ta make bathrooms bigger only means more people an even longer wait.

"We's startin ta land son. Finish up eatin. Ah'll make sure we gots our sweaters. Ireland ain't nearly as hot as Florida. Don't want ya catchin a cold."

"Awright, Pop. Do ya think Ireland gets real cold?"

"Hmm. We's gonna get some snow, but it ain't New York type a snow. Ya might be able ta get one snowman in but that's bout it."

Ah think bout it.

"Goodie. Ah don't wanna be too cold Pop. But Ah still wanna maybe get one good snow day for Christmas."

"Tha's nice, son. Now finish eatin yer pancakes."

Ah smile an stuff mah face wit pancakes. Ah hear a bing noise an the pilot starts talkin.

"Ladies and gentlemen, we have begun our descent into Cork. Please turn off all portable electronic devices and stow them until we have arrived at the gate. In preparation for landing in Cork, be certain your seat back is straight up and your seat belt is fastened."

"Pop wha's stow mean?"

Ah watch Pop think fer a minute.

"It means ta put yer things away. Can't be havin the plane crashin cause anythang's messin with the electronics."

"Ok, Pop. Ah'll put mah headphones away then. Ah don't wanna cause no accidents."

Pop pats mah head an Ah know Ah'm doin good.

Time Skip

"Awright son, le's go find our luggage. Once we get 'em we's gonna be goin fer lunch."

"Yay!"

Ah try lookin fer mah bags. Ah made sure ta get a cargo backpack with a froggie keychain so Ah done know how ta find it.

"Dere it is, Toby. Le's look at the names ta make sure we got everythang."

"Ok, Pop."

We start lookin fat our names.

"Look, Pop. This backpack's got mah froggie keychain."

"Then it's yer backpack son."

Ah grab mah backpack an hug it. Ah like mah backpack wit mah froggie keychain.

"Awright. We's got our luggage. Ah'm gonna call Uncle Travis ta let 'em know we's gonna get lunch then go on over ta their homestad."

"Ok, Pop."

Ah follow Pop ta a phone booth and listen ta him talkin. Ah kinda like bein in this phone booth. Ain't loud like the airport waitin room.

"Son we's leavin now. What ya wanna eat?"

Ah look up at Pop.

"Ah wanna know what the Ireland people's fish sticks taste like, Pop."

"Awright Toby. Plenty a places we can go fer that. Ah'mma try findin one that ain't that busy."

A man pulls up.

"Oi, I'll give ya a ride, guv."

Pop looks at him. Mah eyes glaze over a bit. Ah ain't got a clue what he's sayin.

"Ya'll got any fish stick places here?"

"Can tuck in at a takeway place, guv. Get ya dere in half a tick."

Pop shrugs then takes mah hand ta get us in the car.

"Why ya talk so strange, sir?"

"Born in London before I moved here laddie. Ya southerners ain't so different. Ya jus us but Yanks."

"Ok."

Ah think Ah'm understandin what he's sayin. He's sayin we ain't that different cause Ah learned in history class that some a the Ireland people moved to America. They done moved to the South an they started talkin different cause they were Ireland people no more.

"Son jus stay in the car. Ah'mma get ya fish sticks ta go. We's gonna be eatin on the way to Uncle Travis' house."

"Awright, Pop. Ah'mma keep mah eye on our luggage."

Ah watch Pop get outta the car an go inside a small restaurant. Ah tap mah hands gets mah cargo backpack. Ah start makin stories in mah head after a while. Ah'm seein me an Pop walkin round a strange place. Ah got a wand in mah hand an Ah'm makin magic.

"Awright, son. Ah got somethin better than fish sticks fer ya."

Pop comes back in the car wit a bag a food.

"Better than fish sticks? Pop wha's better than fish sticks?"

He pulls out a box an opens it.

"This' a fish stick sandwich. Got it wit fries an a ketchup cup."

Mah eyes widen.

"They got a sandwich made outta fish sticks? Wow. Ah gotta try this, Pop."

Ah start eatin mah sandwich while Pop talks wit the nice man drivin us.

"Ah love it!"

"Yer right, son. Irish folk sure knows how ta fry fish. They is distant kin after all. We got similar type a foods jus made different."

Ah keep eatin mah sandwich the whole car ride. Don't even wanna wiggle cause this sandwich's so good.

"Now look out yer window son. We's gonna be pproachin Kwimper territory. Uncle Travis' house's comin up jus up ahead."

Ah look out mah window an Ah see an amazin forest house.

"Thank ya kindly stranger. Have yerself a 20."

"Blimey! 'Twas my honor guv."

Ah help Pop get our luggage out the car an wave by ta the nice Irish man as he drives way.

"Come on, Toby. We's gotta get unpacked an meet our kin."

"Ok Pop."

We start walkin up the path to Uncle Travis' house. Can't wait ta meet Irish Kwimpers.

Tagging: @arrolyn1114, @aliengoth3, @vintagepresley, @comebackep, @thetaoofzoe, and @presleysgirl6.

#toby kwimper #toby and the veela #ecu fanfiction #elvis ai

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eyesoverinfinity · 2 years

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Cooking show Au

Episode 2: Quit your wine-ing

(Note from writer: this will have lines taken from @house-of-wack as this has the sentence that inspired the au. please enjoy!)

The intro plays, it is a Introduction to all 8 of the hosts of this show: Zoey, Louis, Francis, Bill, Ellis, Nick, Rochelle and Coach.

Then the logo appears:

The logo dissipates to revel the camera zooming in on the hosts, as pre-recorded clapping plays.

The benches have been replaced with bathtubs, but despite some of the hosts looking confused no one comments on it.

Louis limps forward, everyone is still injured from last episode.

Louis: Welcome to 8 in the kitchen! The show were we make food and may regret it later! Now last episode we had an... exciting encounter with Ellis's friend Keith. We haven't quite recovered from that yet so today we'll be doing something inside. Rochelle, what are we making today?

Rochelle: Well, I've decided to make a cocktail, it's a recipe given to me by my family and we don't need to leave the kitchen for it.

Rochelle leaves the set and drags in a whiteboard. This whiteboard has the drawing of some cocktails on it, with the words 'not dangerous to make' underlined.

Rochelle: Now, we're going to need some Ingredients! Luckily I-

Ellis: Hey wait, since we ain't going anywhere, what are we going to do with the chibi's?

Rochelle: Their taking a day off, don't worry.

A cut shows that the chibi's on a beach as animated as them, relaxing.

Francis: I hate sand

Nick: Shut it Anakin.

The camera cuts back to the hosts.

Rochelle: Anyways, I bought the ingredients for the drink!

The screen shows the recipe:

Old Glory 2.0

8-10 blueberries 8-10 blackberries 8-10 boysenberries 2 oz Long Island Vodka 1 oz fresh lemon juice 1 oz maple syrup 1-2 oz Oregon Pinot Noir

Rochelle: To make my cocktail recipe first we need two shots of vodka

Rochelle begins to pour.

Nick:

Coach:

Ellis:

Rochelle is still pouring.

Zoey:

Bill:

Francis:

Louis:

Rochelle, puts down the now empty bottle and picks up another and begins pouring.

Coach: Ro, that ain't a shot, girl.

Rochelle: Did I say shot? I meant "shop" as in I went to two different stores and bought out their supply. It's a strong drink.

Louis: We're gonna die.

Nick: I would like to try it.

Zoey: I wondered why you needed a bathtub to make a cocktail.

Bill: Who taught you how to make this drink?

Rochelle: My extended family from Scotland.

Bill: They wouldn't happen to be called DeGroot would they?

Rochelle starts pouring the third bottle

Rochelle: Yes, how did you know?

Bill: I'm... familiar with them.

The recipe comes up on screen and changes:

Old Glory 2.0

8-10 boxes of blueberries 8-10 boxes of blackberries 8-10 boxes of boysenberries 2 shops of Vodka 1 jug fresh lemon juice 1 /4 jug maple syrup 1 & 1/2 jugs Oregon Pinot Noir

and adds: DO NOT TRY AT HOME OR EVER

Time is sped up as the others pour their bottles into the bathtubs as well.

Rochelle: Now we add the boxes of berries and jug of lemon juice! These add a wonderful blend of sweet and citrus, then you add a quarter of a jug of maple syrup, my family usually adds more but I find that can't taste anything else if that happens.

Nick: Isn't straight up dying a concern?

Bill: I've meet that side of her family, the answer is no.

Rochelle ignores these comments

Rochelle: Next we add the one and a half jugs of Oregon Pinot Noir and start mixing! Unfortunately our giant spoons where stolen by the mob last episode, so today we'll be using.

Rochelle tries to hide look of disbelief for the audience but fails.

Rochelle: Giant forks.

The giant forks are wheeled in.

Zoey: Couldn't we just order more giant spoons?

Rochelle: We did, but there not arriving until a week after this episode is due to air. Your lucky I manged to convince our boss not to get the giant chopsticks.

They all pick up a fork except for Ellis, who still has a broken arm. Rochelle help's him with his. Time speeds up again when they start mixing. The time-lapse stops for a second.

Francis: Man this is this hard!

Rochelle: Maple syrup is like that.

Bill: It's the berries I'm having trouble with, they keeping getting stuck and I can barley see them!

Louis: At least they smells nice!

Coach: They taste great too!

The hosts stop.

Coach: what?

Rochelle: Coach... did you eat any the berries?

Coach is seen visibly sweating.

Coach: No?

Rochelle:

Coach: I'll get the apron of shame.

The time-lapse starts again, This time Coach is wearing the apron of shame.

Rochelle: And that's how you make the old glory 2.0!

Nick: Is there a 3.0?

Rochelle: It's this but with Scrumpy.

Nick: ah.

Rochelle: Thank you all for coming! We'll be back to our normal adventures next episode, but in the meantime we hoped you enjoyed the more relaxed tone.

Zoey: It'll give us time to figure out what to do with all this.

Francis: I thought we were going to drink it all.

Bill: Do you want to end up in hospital again?

Louis: We'll see you all next time.

Everyone: Bye!

The theme song plays and the credits roll. A post credit scene shows Coach, still wearing the apron of shame, cleaning the kitchen while listening to the midnight riders.

#left 4 dead 2 #left 4 dead #l4d2 ellis #l4d2 rochelle #l4d2 #l4d #l4d bill #coach l4d2 #nick l4d2 #l4d zoey #l4d francis #valve #gaming #l4d2 au #l4d au #l4d louis #cooking show au

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