#don't miss the full blown psychosis

[ephemeriee]

about 3 days after i started sertraline i started hallucinating that everything in my room was turning into fractals so i told my parents because i was pretty worried and my dad was just like that must be what shamanism is and that i was getting a great deal on hallucinogens because all it cost was the prescription charge

#kind of miss it #don't miss the full blown psychosis #but the mild stuff was pretty fun once i got used to it #ephemeriee.txt

[haneys]

not to mention how dangerous all of this is and how it builds the belief in people that are looking from the side or who don't really know what's going on but are trying to be helpful bc they don't know better that encouraging and reassuring the false beliefs is the correct way to react. like sure build entire bubbles of people encouraging each other on their fake DAs but when you finally meet with a person who's genuelly struggling with delusions and you act like that you Will trigger a psychotic episode, a breakdown, anything, and it will stop being fun and games and get ugly really, really quick.

#patxt #and the second ur psychosis turns ugly and you start getting incomprehensible and distressed people WILL think you're a freak 😄 #this is a very very delicate and complicated topic I don't have the spoons to even touch in any put together way #like osychotic people have the right to exist in public spaces and to express themself thru the good and 'bad' and not be mocked degraded #made fun of and out on the spot for laughs (and I see this all the time. I mean it. the second someone on Facebook is having an episode and #posting thru it EVERYONE is immediately there being so vile to them. we're clowns to yall i know 😄) #and like we have the right to talk about the 'positive things' in our spaces but please see the nuisance. #I am berdlys mom. this fact brings me a lot of joy but even when I think it's mostly not harmful it does have negative consequences #like me having breakdowns over 'missing my child' or making and leaving food for berdly which wasted food etc etc #i often can get exited especially when I'm a bit unwell lawl and start talking about being berdlys mom and talking abt us and such #I deserve to do that and be know I am safe with mt friends and won't be mocked etc. #my friends listen to me and do not reality check me uncalled and they even engage with me in a safe manner #BUT without outright cementing my beliefs or encouraging them. and after I get better and shake off #they do not amuse that balief of mine they do not call forth on it or direct behaviors that reinforce it or whatever. #like its really not that hard if it's not an immensely distressing delusion or not a full blown episode. #the DA fandom (beside obviously not actually being delusional) just perpetuates a never ending circle of positive feedback instead #all the time no break bo nothing. #sigh am I even making any sense. I'm just rambling hoenstly. I'm going to sleep zzz