#crowley was not meant to raise children. he's a wine aunt plain and simple. he'd love to be called 'auntie crowley'

[everysongineverykey]

i love how unfatherly crowley and aziraphale both are when it comes down to it. sure aziraphale is more than willing to give the young people in his life help and advice and be their friend but he and crowley spent six years (eleven in the book) practically raising a kid (you just know his parents weren't around that often) and by the end they didn't even like him. crowley even suggested they just fucking kill him. he turned three kids into lizards for annoying him right after he destroyed their house. like it was that or kill them obviously but he did NOT hesitate with the newts. that's so funny to me. they're just inherently disinclined to parenthood. we need more characters like them actually

#good omens #i think if aziraphale HAD to take care of a baby no choice he would give them some cocoa #and play mozart for them and just kind of let them do their thing in the bookshop. away from the books of course. #like he would make sure they were safe and sheltered and he would be kind to them #but it would really show that he was just imitating fathers he had seen in books #crowley was not meant to raise children. he's a wine aunt plain and simple. he'd love to be called 'auntie crowley' #but he has no friends with kids so he has to be content with his brief stint as nanny. #the demon put a basket with a baby in it in the backseat of his car untethered and let it slide around #from side to side while he drove dangerously. canonically that is something he did #it's also my headcanon that he has some complicated feelings about parenthood and family roles #yknow. when you're technically one of 'god's children' but she cast you and so many of your siblings down to hell for asking questions #when the closest thing you have to a mother made you murder innocent children for a bet. #it can make you hesitant about that sort of thing!