#consuming all the lost media I thirsted over until it was time to strike!

[tossawary]

Because my brain does NOT stop even when I’m grounded, today my brain told me, “Hey, I figured out how to make a Hobbit Fusion AU work.” And I was like, “Great! We’re working, though.” And my brain was like, “I’ve figured out how to make it a Pre-Canon Canon Divergence AU for Moshang.”

And I was like, “...I’m listening.”

The Hobbit is another one of my Comfort Media and it got brought up when I was asking about that, but I was feeling kind of “eh” about mixing Tolkien mythology with SVSSS. I mean, the mental picture of Dwarf Mobei-Jun is extremely funny and Shang Qinghua would make a great hobbit! But that interpretation felt a little too direct for my AU tastes.

So, hm, now I have another potential Big Bang contender. My love for The Hobbit is very, VERY strong and looking at my current outline, I have to be like, “Yeah, this could be 50,000 words, no problem.”

It’s a very good outline!

-

After saving Mobei-Jun, Shang Qinghua bailed A.S.A.P. because he honestly thought Mobei-Jun was going to kill him. He psyched himself out of sticking around before Mobei-Jun woke up. Mobei-Jun didn’t get enough information to track Shang Qinghua down.

Shang Qinghua (who isn’t SQH because he isn’t the Peak Lord) decides that he can’t fucking take it anymore and bails from Cang Qiong Mountain Sect too. The System objects, but also falls into line when Airplane shrieks at it. Airplane is going to go become a humble merchant and inventor and there’s nothing anyone can do to stop him!

It turns out that Shang Qinghua’s presence or help was actually crucial to stop some Emperor of the Abyss from taking over the Ice Palace and the Northern Desert. Airplane is like, “Oh, yeah, I remember… offhandedly writing something about that happening in the past off-screen?” It was one of those things that he just threw in there because it sounded really cool, and it gave Mobei-Jun another reason to “owe” Shang Qinghua and not kill him immediately, but he never got to elaborate on it because he was too busy writing stallion novel bullshit.

So, borrowing the lore from my “Horns” one-shot, an extremely powerful Emperor of the Abyss escaped the Eternal Abyss. This is some devouring horror being from the depths of the abyss, which ate everything in its vicinity in the abyss itself and crawled into the Demon Realm to eat more things. The Emperor of the Abyss was attracted to Mobei-Jun’s father. They fought. Mobei-Jun’s father should have won, but didn’t, because he was too fucked up (thanks to his own hedonism or something) to fight properly. What an asshole.

Mobei-Jun’s father was killed and devoured by the Emperor of the Abyss, which has made it… exponentially powerful. It’s now… basically a calamity. The desolation that it leaves in its wake across the Northern Desert is unspeakable. Mobei-Jun and his family, their allied clans, and pretty much all demons in the Northern Desert have had to flee.

Mobei-Jun is currently essentially a “guest” of the Sha Clan. He’s homeless. He’s lost the power of his ancestors. He’s a “king” without a kingdom. It’s humiliating. He needs to kill the abyssal creature to retrieve: his title, his ancestors’ power, and his kingdom.

While working for other demon clans to support his family and people, Mobei-Jun crosses paths with Airplane. Airplane has become a relatively successful merchant and inventor, and he calls himself Shang Houhua. He lives a very comfortable life and does his best to ignore anything resembling the plot. He’s pretty successful at ignoring the plot.

Mobei-Jun is never in a good mood these days, but he’s especially pissed off to see that human who abandoned him all those years ago. Airplane tries to argue that Mobei-Jun told him to fuck off, but Mobei-Jun is too angry. Airplane makes lots of offers in an effort to get Mobei-Jun to spare his life, one of which ends up being a claim that he can help Mobei-Jun kill the Emperor of the Abyss and make him a king again. Mobei-Jun pauses, now even more pissed off than before, and Airplane just starts babbling desperately to save his own skin.

Mobei-Jun was already forming a company to take on a Quest for the Northern Desert - in the hopes of slaying the Emperor of the Abyss and retaking his homeland. Part of the issue has been that forming the company is difficult. Mobei-Jun wants people who are loyal to HIM and ONLY to him. He won’t owe anyone else anything or promise them pieces of his homeland.

(Airplane is like, “Bro, I don’t know if you can afford to be so picky, but okay.”)

So Mobei-Jun is like… “I still want to kill you, but fine, you can come on our quest and help us.”

So Airplane ends up on the Quest for the Northern Desert, led by his very angry future murderer the “king without a kingdom” Mobei-Jun, to fight the calamitous Emperor of the Abyss who killed Mobei-Jun’s father. Fuck.

Some details beyond this opening premise:

Airplane and Mobei-Jun fall in love over the course of the quest, obviously. They have their own hijinks like each chapter of The Hobbit (equivalents to the trolls, to Rivendell, to Goblintown, to Beorn, to Mirkwood, and to Laketown, etc.). 

Oh, damn, I just realized that making a pre-fall Tianlang-Jun and Zhuzhi-Lang the Beorn equivalents would be so fucking funny.

The Emperor of the Abyss is a horrifying Smaug equivalent. It can totally talk because Airplane having a conversation with a draconian horror sounds incredible. I would love to have Airplane outwit the Emperor of the Abyss in some fashion.

Mobei-Jun and Airplane somehow manage to successfully kill the Emperor of the Abyss together. Like, together. Probably using some plot device whipped up or some clever plan devised by Airplane on his feet. Mobei-Jun trusts Airplane at a crucial moment and it all works out. Airplane actually gets Mobei-Jun his kingdom back.

I’m tempted to just skip over the Ring and not having a Ring equivalent. BUT if I made this into a longfic instead of a one-shot, I would have a Ring equivalent (if it was a one-shot, I would ditch the Ring equivalent). I think I would make Xin Mo the One Ring equivalent. During the Goblintown equivalent event, Airplane falls either into the Eternal Abyss or into Bing-Ge’s dimension, where he proceeds to successfully take up Xin Mo because he knows the trick and portal himself out of the Eternal Abyss, or he proceeds to outwit Bing-Ge in some fashion and uses the Xin Mo sword to portal himself back to the right dimension.

So then Airplane is stuck with this super powerful sword that he doesn’t want to use again because he KNOWS that it will fuck him up. He KNOWS that it will FUCK HIM UP. So Airplane has to go through the rest of the quest ignoring the temptation of the Xin Mo sword that he is absolutely not supposed to have and can’t possibly let anyone else have.

(Oh, man, imagining the influence of Xin Mo giving Airplane extra horny thoughts about Mobei-Jun on the rest of the quest is very funny. Like, Airplane was already hot for Mobei-Jun, but now it’s worse and he might never have a normal thought ever again.)

Bagginshield Movie Hug when Airplane turns up again, for sure. Mobei-Jun thought he was dead. Mobei-Jun smiles and everything, until he remembers to frown again.

I’m feeling like I don’t want Airplane to use Xin Mo to help defeat the Emperor of the Abyss, but it makes sense if he does. Him not using it doesn’t make much sense. I do like the idea of Airplane dealing the killing blow and Mobei-Jun’s pride being hurt by Airplane being the one to kill it. I also like the idea of Mobei-Jun being a little smitten by Airplane just… loyally handing him his kingdom and restoring the power of his ancestors. I also really like the idea of Airplane just… not having some super powerful plot device up his sleeve on the quest.

Like, instead of Airplane’s Author God knowledge totally setting him up to deal with this thing no problem, Airplane had NO FUCKING PLAN when he set out with Mobei-Jun. He was talking completely out of his ass when he said he knew how to help Mobei-Jun. That this all worked out at all is almost completely due to luck and improvisation.

That feels MUCH more true to both Shang Qinghua and to Bilbo Baggins. Lucky lads of fast-talking, complaining, lying, not knowing what the fuck is really going on, thirsting after kings with tragic backstories, and somehow not dying despite winging it all the time.

Instead of goldsickness, Mobei-Jun is forced to deal with some side-effects of consuming the Emperor of the Abyss to regain the power of his ancestors. (Demon cannibalism rituals. Yeah.) He starts acting really scary and out-of-character and forceful, until Airplane loses his nerve and runs away. Maybe under the influence of the late Emperor of the Abyss, Mobei-Jun actually tries to kill him? I could see Mobei-Jun trying to kill Airplane for the Xin Mo sword which dealt the finishing blow on the Emperor of the Abyss.

(I need a better name for this thing. If I can’t come up with something that actually sounds good, I might just call it “The Calamity”, but that’s giving me BOTW vibes so I don’t like it. Maybe I’d call it “The Desolation” or something? Ehhhh, I don’t really like that either.)

I want to have a Battle of the Five Armies equivalent, if only so Tianlang-Jun and Zhuzhi-Lang can swoop in as benevolent helpers as the Beorn equivalents. Currently, I’m seeing three options. 1) The orc army equivalent are neighboring demon lords who want to strike while the new Mobei-Jun is getting established. 2) The orc army equivalent is Linguang-Jun trying to kill his nephew and take power at the last minute. 3) The orc army equivalent is Bing-Ge here with an army and he’s pissed off and wants his sword back.

On one hand, 1 and 2 would be SO MUCH EASIER to pull off. I could be really lazy about the whole thing. On the other hand, 3 would be much fresher (more surprising and links back to the Xin Mo element), more challenging and the idea of pre-fall Tianlang-Jun facing off with Bing-Ge delights me. Kick his ass, Tianlang-Jun!

(Su Xiyan gets involved? My brain says YES. Kick his ass, Su Xiyan!)

Also, I was sad about there being no Fili and Kili equivalents, because Mobei-Jun has no friends, and I’ll have to make up a company pretty much from scratch. (Sha Hualing is too young and Luo Binghe hasn’t been born yet.) BUT then I was like, “Where’s Linguang-Jun in all this?” And I would absolutely have Linguang-Jun be a part of Mobei-Jun’s Company. Instead of nephews, Mobei-Jun has a sketchy uncle who might be trying to kill him. Keeping Linguang-Jun out of it might be easier, but actually doing some character-building with him sounds fun and challenging, and I’d rather limit the number of OCs if possible.

Mobei-Jun manages to shake off the goldsickness equivalent somehow, probably through “the power of love” (and/or straight-up “dual cultivation” with Airplane?). Moshang makes up while Mobei-Jun is apparently mortally wounded from fighting Bing-Ge and Airplane thinks this is all his fault. But Mobei-Jun doesn’t die! It’s all good!  

It’d be pretty funny if there was a “Returning to the Shire” equivalent where Airplane leaves because he thinks Mobei-Jun hates him now and never wants to see him again. So then Mobei-Jun has to track his man down like, “Get back here and marry me. (Also I am so sorry for trying to kill you. Please forgive me. I hate myself so much for that.)”

And they all live happily ever after!

Holy shit, this wasn’t in Proud Immortal Demon Way.

#svsss hobbit fusion au #tossawary updates #tossawary svsss #moshang #mobei jun #shang qinghua #comfort media fusion aus #fic ideas

[literature-islit]

Synecdoche, New York (2008)

I have this thing about movies, where I spend, like, probably twice as long flicking between rotten tomatoes reviews and a film’s synopsis on Wikipedia, worrying, hesitating and second guessing over whether the film is going to be worth my time than the time it would take to watch a bad movie. and yet i used to watch entire seasons of keeping up with the kardashians  i think it’s good to be selective about the media you consume. 

anyway. 

What sold me onto watching this film was a review on rotten tomatoes stating: “of course, being a Charlie Kaufman film, it gets a little weird”. Having never heard of Charlie Kaufman before, i was like - good weird, or bad weird? but eventually gave in and pressed play on the movie and whew

let me tell you 

a replica of an apartment block to act out things that really happened with actors of actors of people…

This movie is WEEEEIRD. Good weird! Maybe one of THE GREATEST MOVIES OF ALL TIME. 

Okay, so the beginning is a little mundane. There’s this guy named Caden, a theatre director way past his prime, and it plays into a little literary cliché i first saw identified in a GoodReads review of Dave Egger’s A Hologram For The King:

I'm going to need the publishing industry to start putting on warning labels for Modern American Middle-Aged Upper-Middle-Class White Male Pathetic Protagonists, because I am all done with them. No more crazy bitch ex-wives, no more weird medical issues that strike at their sense of mortality, no more managing to bang (poorly) hotter younger ladies (who are also, of course, crazy) even during their downward spiral, no more disconnect with their flighty and disappointed children, no more random heavy drinking or drug experimentation

All this written by a reviewer named Kim G. Kim G, i don't wanna steal your IP but I had to reference it here because it is a recurrent story structure that I hadn’t fully identified until I saw it expressed in this way, and Synecdoche, New York, initially follows that exact pattern: crazy ex-wife, weird medical issue striking at sense of mortality, many hotter young women throwing themselves at the protagonist, disconnect with his child, downward spiral... 

nooooo i’m sorry, no shade, no shade; i’m not going to continue to analyse this film in terms of the “white male” paradigm because i think it has transcendental value

So the film proceeds along for the first thirty minutes, with the aforementioned medical issues, marital disharmony, disconnect with child, career success sabotaged by personal doubt, younger secretary thirsting for protagonist AND THEN

THINGS GET WEIRD

Hazel, the woman who works at the box office of his theatre, goes house hunting. And the house she decides to buy is on fire and stays that way throughout the entire film. 

THINGS GET SYMBOLIC

Caden’s therapist defies the restraints of time and space to appear beside him and read over his shoulder every time he opens the self-help book she bullied him into buying, authored by herself. 

It’s all very Bjork, Bachelorette 

charlie Kaufmann was inspired by this director. I read it on wikipedia. 

if you watch that film clip, you kind of get an idea of the themes of the movie as well. A play within a play. A movie that externally manifests the events of real life, to be obsessively directed and re-directed: the inability to determine a plot or conclusion for the play as a reflection of the stunted growth of a character unable to step outside of his problems and progress or learn. 

Does that sound a little depressing? Maybe. But you'll be way more in awe of how far the play within a play metaphor is taken to find too much time to be depressed. The book is like a combination of Gore Vidal’s description of Tennessee Williams as a man who compulsively wrote plays 

so that he could, like God, rearrange his original experience into something that was no longer God’s and unpossessable, but his.

and the following two books:

These books ask questions similar to – if you were to make a map of the world in full size, and spread it out over the world, and live on the map instead of the real world, what would be lost? 

And – what about when we stop making maps of places that do exist, and start making maps of imaginary places such as Disneyland – what connection do these maps of fake places have to real life? 

makesyouthink.gif 

my mum told me

But back to the movie. Finally, Caden, whose obsessive recreations of the traumatic events of his real life have failed to enable him to transcend his failings, grows tired of the burden of playing director of the immense and bloated replica of his New York city apartment complex that he has built inside a warehouse. It’s been 20 years or something, the cast are growing old, and still he’s not ready to declare the play ready to perform. Finally, he surrenders, allowing the woman cast to play his ex-wife’s cleaner (who he’s never met ... ya it’s hard to explain) to take over his role, and he takes over her role as the cleaner, begins to live in the set, and allows the order to direct his life through instructions delivered via an earpiece in his ear.

Progress – you think?

NO. Spoiler alert – this character doesn’t change at all. In fact, his last piece of dialogue in the film is joy at having had an epiphany for how his play should change – which we never get to hear.

the director acting as the cleaner who has taken over his role as director

It’s really moving. I mean, I liked it. It’s a controversial one; you could really rip into some aspects of it for being (I’m quoting some reviews here) “boring” or “hollow”, but i’d argue that’s the point. Anyway Kaufman, who despite having multiple subreddits dedicated to appreciating his genius as a writer, recently gave an interview about how much he thinks he blew his career, and how he’s gotta pay his mortgage, so I’m heartened to learn he’s got a Netflix special out soon, and a book on the cusp of being released, even if the AV Club review of said book is entitled: With His Massive Debut Novel, Charlie Kaufman Disappears Up His Own Ass. 

I’ll still read it.