#completely unprompted i'm just feeling it fuck i need to move out i miss this life

[translucent-at-best]

Scatter-brained...

I want some dick. My friends want me to get some dick. The difference is... they want me to have any old dick and I need more than that. I'm not tolerating anybody who's not as dedicated to my orgasm as I am to theirs.

The Mango Berry whipped shea butter from Nappily Naturals be having folks stuck. I love smelling delicious and being told I smell delicious. I know I've mentioned this before, but it really and truly never gets old.

People referring to the start of their loc journey as "the ugly phase" irk me. Is it different? Yes. Is it a learning experience getting used to your hair in the beginning stages? Absolutely. But there's nothing ugly about you and there's nothing ugly about having locs (as a Black person).

God knew we would've taken that first place we applied to in a heartbeat had we not gotten denied. It didn't make sense at the time, but the more that I think about it, the place we ended up getting approved for is absolutely the right place for me. The fact that it's rent-controlled alone means I may finally be done moving out here, which is huge. Add to that the fact that it comes with everything we wanted in a place, is on the top floor so we don't have to deal with anyone above us, and is in a great location? God, You really be out here God-ding. Thank you.

I went to a party earlier last week and saw a lot of famous people there. I saw Damson Idris, heard Pedro Pascal was there, and met Amorphous and Courtney Taylor. It felt very LA and although I wasn't starstruck per se, it was very much a "we're not in Kansas anymore" moment.

Riding in a car after someone's been in your pussy and going over bumps and being reminded how sensitive your clit still is >>>

I had a friend over to help me pack up my room. He unexpectedly gave me a foot rub. Completely unprompted. He didn't know, but it was my first time getting one. The unprompted part really got to me. It's not lost on me at all that he didn't have to. It's also not lost on me how nice it felt. It's not often I feel lonely, but I can't lie... that shit had me wanting to see about a relationship* a lotta bit.

I'm mentoring a high school student to help them write their college essay and I'm really excited about it. I'm at an elementary school right now, and I miss working with the high school population so much. I mean Chelle luh da kids and all, but the little ones just be so sticky all the damn time lol. I love talking to older students and helping them figure out what they want to do after they graduate.

Black men are so stunning and gorgeous and beautiful and handsome and I love telling them as much. I love seeing the way their faces light up when I give them compliments.

I've been trying to think of a nicer, gentler way to say this, but... I want so badly to be fucked and fucked well. I've never thought of or referred to myself as a size queen, and while this is not me doing that, I absolutely need enough dick to hit the bottom of my shit. I want to be fucked and filled and told I look good while I'm taking it all. I-- I thought I knew what horny was. But this ovulating over 30 shit? Jesus Hakeem Christ...

#*albeit not with him #scatter brained #scatter

[andyridgeley]

day n night i’m just nostalgic about my apartment life aesthetic don’t mind me 

#i liked my hair like this but sometimes i think hmmmm nah too long too much #when i have long hair i want short when i have short i want long ya feel?? #when i have light frame glasses i want dark when i have dark frames i want light UGh #and sometimes i think huh what would i look like with makeup on and if i ever actually tried when i got ready #or if i ever did my hair #but then i think hmmm better not we good #personal thingys #completely unprompted i'm just feeling it fuck i need to move out i miss this life #oi it's me #i might delete these later i always say i'm gonna delete selfies later but am too lazy to do it hmm

[serenagaywaterford]

Have you seen Amanda Brugel's last instagram post? I'm beginning to worry Serena doesn't survive the season

HEY ANON! SERIOUS QUESTION: ARE YOU TRYING TO GIVE ME A HEART ATTACK LOL?! Now, cue me frantically pouring over the post!

I’m curious. What makes you think that it’s ominous? It could be my wishful thinking, but nothing screamed out at me from it? Am I blind, lol? I mean, of course, there’s Ever waxing all FOMO over it, but that’s expected cos she’s not in the show all that much as it is. And the photo, if I’m reading Amanda right, is from S1. Is that why?

Maybe it’s wishful thinking but I don’t think they’ll kill off Serena–yet. Mainly, she’s one of the central characters, and certainly the central (human) antagonist to June specifically. (We all know the real villain is Gilead and male power. Fred is a secondary antagonist imo, and more like a stand-in for Gilead itself to make it easier to see the true evil.) There is a great deal of focus on her thus far, to develop her and weave her into a story that, if we’re all being real, the Waterfords should have been gone from already and certainly by the end of S2 but we know there’s going to be even more about both of them. And there is quite QUITE a lot of potential to move Serena across the “villainy spectrum” towards neutral or even true anti-hero without it being a deus ex machina/jump the shark sort of thing. And that sort of story is pure gold for a writer. It can be milked for a long time and works easily with drama, and the feminist themes of the show. I don’t want to say “redemption arc” cos that would require A LOT of work and I think most viewers are still stuck on 210 (once again–that was a HORRIBLE MISSTEP FOR THE CREATIVE TEAM the way it was written. I’ll say that forever because so many, many people missed the underlying point about it), but movement is possible.

Also, Miller seems to really enjoy the character/actress, and Yvonne’s got a LOT of hype on social media/critics circles. I think even if you hate Serena, you recognise how stellar Yvonne’s doing. Like, that’s why Serena is so hated (other than people not understanding Serena)–Yvonne plays her so exceptionally well.

I have NO idea what the contract situation is like, but I’d suspect she has a 5-year deal, like most. Quite frankly, the only reason I can see for killing Serena off is that Yvonne wants out, to be with her new baby. It must be dreadful to have a newborn and be working 6 months on such a dark, cold show about the oppression of women and horrible things about children. But she is a professional so we’ll see.

Or, I suppose, if they want SHOCK VALUE. Cos, who really expects Serena to die? I know a lot of vocal idiots online cream themselves over her dying a painful death and wish her horrible death constantly, but those are just loud online idiots – and if I’ve learnt anything from decades of fandom, it’s that showrunners rarely give a shit about those fans or take them seriously. They’ll pander to a degree, but they deep down don’t care. (Obvs there are exceptions but most showrunners and writers have a goal and view and it doesn’t change based on the whims of rabid fans on Twitter and Tumblr. There was a time in my life that I believed they cared. They do not, lol.)

But hey, this is complete wishful thinking cos she’s my babe and I don’t want THT without her. So I live in denial that they’ll kill her off. She’s honestly the most complex and second most developed character in the entire series. It would seem short-sighted to dump a character like that.

Honestly? I think it’s far more likely that Rita will leave the show than Serena, if we’re looking at Amanda & Yvonne. Which is a shame too cos she’s the only Canadian in the main cast and a good character. It all depends I suppose on the direction they go with the Resistance/Mayday and the Waterfords. Rita and Serena could BOTH go by the end of the season.

I’m gonna rant now about the characters that SHOULD go…

In terms of characters that have run their course, I vote for the main males. Both Fred and Nick are totally redundant to me now–and this has nothing to do with my dislike of Nick, I swear. Just on a narrative level, he no longer serves much purpose if we’re supposed to be watching a show about women fighting back against a repressive patriarchal fascist regime. (I don’t need some cutsey romance subplot, thanks. And I don’t think June requires it either, not when she’s on a mission to get HANNAH back and make to Canada to reunite with her HUSBAND and bff, all whilst saving ALL the children and women of Gilead. She’s got quite enough going on. The story is supposed to be less depressing this season so the argument that the N/J thing brings “lightness” and “hope” to a bleak story is also outdated too.) He’s just redundant. Served his purpose, and it was an important purpose, don’t get me wrong! I understand his very integral role especially in S1 but it’s just run its course, imo. I think even Nick stans seem to recognise this on some level cos they’re always terrified he’s going to be killed off almost every episode lol.

I may not care for Luke either, but he actually will remain important to the story, I think and I can’t see any good reason to get rid of him. He needs to remain alive. I think it would kill June to find out he’s dead.

Fred is just… a cartoon now and needs to go. How many more Evil TM things can he do? Yawn. We don’t need the personification of Gilead anymore I don’t think. We get it. Both Nick and Fred have dodged certain death now and it’s just like, OKAY, with June I get it cos she’s the protag, but them? Give me a break. Lazy. The only reason I don’t think they’ll kill off Nick is pure fanservice. I can’t see any rational reason other than that. Those LOUD fangirls will have a fucking meltdown. (I’ll say that when I speak to non-fandom people offline about the show, the vast majority don’t really care about the N*ck/June storyline nearly as much. Most people I’ve spoken with care much more about the larger issues–and it was crazy cos I was talking to a friend that I hadn’t seen in like 4 months about THT, and I know isn’t a fan of THT–like she watches it but isn’t in fandom. Just casual. And I brought up Serena (of course I did) but I was very critical of her, and she (who knows ZERO about my true feelings for Serena lol) was defensive of the character. It blew my mind cos she’s really not the type to defend problematic characters or villains. (I honestly thought she’d be a Nick fan, N/J fan, and Serena hater. But she’s a JUNE fan first and foremost, doesn’t really care for N/J but thought it was cute at the time, and doesn’t hate Serena.) She even brought up points that we Serena fans say, completely unprompted by me. So, I think in terms of casual fans, they’re a little more perceptive than the vocal majority of N*ck/June fangirls that dominate fandom. God, it’s such a relief to talk to offline people sometimes. By and large, they seem far more reasonable when it comes to this show and where the focus should be. (I should probably mention that almost all of the people I’ve spoken to about THT have been over the age of 25 (many over 30), which probably has something to do with it tbh.)

Both Fred and Nick are props for the female characters, and I think June and Serena are developed enough at this point to stand on their own without the need for either of those dudes. I don’t need men to help tell a story about women, thanks.

But again, I’m just some online voice. The producers and showrunners don’t give a shit what I think. They don’t even know I exist. And that’s probably a good thing (considering my obsession with having June/Serena fuck, lol. I’m gonna wager they don’t wanna see that.).

I’m just gonna pretend I am not now freaking out about Serena being killed off in S3. As much as I think it may be a terrible idea, I honestly don’t put it past this show…

#i'm not shaking nope