#cause the amount of ships i've got and am okay with is immense

[thenexusofsouls]

I LOVE POETS OF THE FALL!! :O But can I ask why you dislike Pepperony? I like the ship but I 100% respect other people's opinions so don't worry about offending me because you won't. I like to hear why people ship/don't ship this or that and also I think your Tony is great! One thing we can all agree on is that Morgan is a precious baby who wouldn't exist without this ship. I love her, even tho I hate Endgame... I was just bored? I've NEVER been bored during a MCU film and I've watched them all.

{i am the caretaker of souls} Of course you can ask! Below the cut ‘cause this got long.

I just found them to be very toxic to/for each other. Of course, being his mun, I’m going to sympathize more with Tony, especially considering that I too have panic attacks and chronic anxiety and I found certain scenes with Pepper to be very upsetting to me because of how she treated him at his worst. When you supposedly love someone, you don’t call them childish or immature when their bad behavior is a response to trauma and coping mechanisms for stress. You talk to them, offer to get them help, try to help them work through it so they can be their best selves. you don’t keep telling them how bad they make you feel and always care more about how you feel than they do, and you certainly don’t walk away when they’re having an episode... especially if they’ve pleaded with you not to leave and are not known for showing that kind of vulnerability. If she thought that was going to get Tony to 1) act “normal,” 2) stop having nightmares and panic attacks, or 3) improve the stability of his mental health, she was mistaken. It just seemed to me that Pepper didn’t want to help Tony, she wanted him to just change to be what she wanted. Like... on his own. While she was out shopping? Heh, okay I got a little snippy there, but it always just seemed to be that she would put up with him for a little while and then walk out in a huff and kindof just... hope that he would “fix” himself. I thought that was very selfish and cruel, since she could see how walking away from him made him feel each time.

However, Tony isn’t blameless in making the relationship toxic either. His alcoholism was a dangerous thing considering he had a lot of high tech toys that could actually hurt people. His impulsiveness and arrogance could be dangerous too... like giving out your address on national TV and to a supposed terrorist. While I know that every time Tony disregarded Pepper’s or his own safety it was not intentional, but rather just that he doesn’t always think before he did things, that didn’t make it any better. I could also see that from Pepper’s point of view it kindof looked like Tony didn’t want to work towards any kind of recovery. It’s hard to work through what has traumatized you, I speak from experience. Sometimes... as much as it affects and even ruins your life, being left to your own coping mechanisms and anxiety can almost feel comforting because it’s familiar. It’s you, you know yourself, even though it sucks, it’s predictable and weirdly safe. To go to therapy and talk to people and open up about what’s bothering you, and then to try to work on your coping mechanisms, can cause you an immense amount of stress. While I’m not condoning Tony wallowing in his destructive behaviors, I understand that mindset of 1) hoping that it will just get better on its own or with time, and 2) not being willing to add the stress of trying to improve his mental health on top of everything else that already stressed him.

The fact that they both made each other feel terrible and unheard in the relationship points out how horrible their communication was. Tony felt like he needed (or wanted) to hold back things so as not to upset or anger Pepper, and almost worshipped the ground she walked on for putting up with him. Well when you love someone, you don’t “put up with” them. She should want to spend time with him and should care about his mental state, otherwise she isn’t right for him. On the other hand, Pepper felt unsafe around Tony sometimes due to his erratic behavior and felt like all her attempts to shock him into changing that behavior by calling him childish or walking out when he got to intense fell on deaf ears. He felt like he was never going to find anyone else who would put up with him and she thought he was never going to change but she was gonna try anyway. Not exactly the basis for a healthy relationship. It was about each of them focusing on their needs instead of each other’s. I think they eventually do reach a good place, and I like the dynamic they have in Endgame, however I think that might be largely due to Tony being in a better place mentally. Regardless of the reason, I was glad to see their relationship improve.

But like I always say, even though I personally don’t ship them, I do recognize that the ship is canon, very important in the Marvel fandom, and that Tony loves her immensely. I have no problems with anyone who ships them and would actually love to write with some Peppers. I just personally didn’t like a lot of what I saw in the Iron Man movies and the earlier Avengers movies with them.

And yes, Morgan is a precious baby and I love her to bits. 

#muse: tony stark