#but yk it's quiet 'unassuming' ppl like me that i love the most! they have several universes in their heads

[noxtivagus]

i wna write a story about myself

#🌙.rambles #i can see the kind of main character i can be #like if i romanticize my characteristics and make me a fictional character #but like. HMMM IT'S COMPLEX #if it says anything yk i'm a scorpio sun/capricorn moon #and i'm definitely like both #but i'm more kinder that you'd expect them to be idk #bcs i have been told i'm intimidating at times. n i can see myself unintentionally coming across as dry or cold #but at the same time yk i'm not perfect i can really be an angry bitch at times but mostly when me or ppl i love have been wronged #i'm like the water. sometime's i'm gentle but other times i'm a tsunami #looking at my notes sometimes i write about really soft stuff but #there's also a monster in me i suppose. i'm a bit insane and definitely weird 🤕 #in the end i don't really care about what others think of me. i'll be myself and live the life i want #i swear whenever i'm on my period my mood swings are on a whole other level 😭 #bcs i'm extra dramatic n confident like rn yes but pull me outside of the house or smth n i'll be shy 💀 #but yk it's quiet 'unassuming' ppl like me that i love the most! they have several universes in their heads #makes our lives much more colorful. and i consider myself an artist of different forms of art after all #i have this ideal version of myself n as a writer the reaosn why i can imagine them #is because they reflect on me after all! so i'd consider these as parts of my identity as well #my main problem is connecting w my reality i think. bcs i'm rlly comfy being alone. #normally that'd be fine but as humans we can't really be alone. n therein lies the dilemma! #i have the strength to aim towards what i know i want and deserve but i don't want to burden others #if i can do this all alone then i would. but i can't. #but the difficulty lies in that the perfectionist in me is still there despite my growth mindset #i'm still young. when i'm older i know i'll have the success to match my ambition and passion #but here and now what i really need is company. but idk how to do that #at the same time i know there are people that genuinely care for me but i wonder about how it'd last. and if it's real #who's to say that it's only the image they have of me that they're drawn to? #or perhaps it's to fulfill something of themselves that they want #i know for a fact that i acknowledge and accept each individual i know for who they are