#but then when they get a scary diagnosis their husband leaves them for the 24 yr old at his office who doesnt need emotional effort
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The Lord Provides: Our Story of Giving Birth in the Time of COVID
One week ago, I was bummed out about not being able to start my mat leave off the way I’d envisioned it - no pedicure, no massage, no visiting friends. I was annoyed that my pregnancy-induced carpal tunnel was so bad. I was already going a little stir-crazy with jnils (despite it only being Day 2) and was just hoping baby would come early - if only to give me something to do!
That all changed on Thursday, when jnils said he had a tickle in his throat and kept clearing it. He said we’d better not kiss, but we still hugged plenty and cuddled while watching a movie. On Friday, he said he felt cold and so I took his temperature, which was 101.3. And suddenly, the world felt like it was ending.
Our minds both immediately went worst-case scenario as I pictured a world where jnils dies and I raise our son alone. We cried together, prayed together, and waited on hold together for over two hours for public health to say whether he could get tested or not. Eventually someone took down our info and said we’d get a call the next day. That night, I only slept for about 4.5 hours, and every time I got up to pee I checked the couch to make sure jnils was still breathing. Yesterday was another roller coaster as my heart finally recognized the very real possibility that jnils would not be at our son’s birth. Really, all I care about is him being there for our son’s life, but still, with so little sleep and so many hormones, the thought of heading into that hospital without him wrecked me. In accordance with the nurse on the phone’s recommendation, he drove 45 minutes to a COVID drive-through testing site, only to have the doctor tell him that his symptoms were not severe enough for him to be tested.
But here is where the story changes, where I began to recognize God’s hand of provision. First of all, Odette had dropped off a care package for us at the door on Thursday afternoon. In it was a container of Lysol wipes, unasked-for but unaccountably there. I can’t remember the last time I bought Lysol wipes - years ago, as jnils and I try to use the less harsh stuff. Suddenly, we needed the Lysol wipes - and there they were! Secondly, our midwife gave us a call yesterday evening and said that there was a drive-through testing station for staff only at our local hospital and that because of my gestational age and jnils’ respiratory symptoms and fever, she could pull some strings and get him tested there. And so, today just before noon, fever-free for 24 hours but with a worsening cough, after having made many phone calls to register and then get past security, jnils got tested. The results will likely come back in 4-6 days. Thirdly, we had our grocery store pick-up experience today and it was GREAT. I am so grateful to have a fridge and freezer full of food. Finally, jnils and I are grateful that we are no longer living above the nightmare neighbours but have nice ones instead.
So where does the story go from here? At this point, we can both honestly say that we think he does have a mild form of COVID. And that’s scary, because symptoms worsen so gradually and this is only Day 4. It’s also scary because I definitely have no immunity to that (whereas I did get my flu shot, and a cold is both predictable and bearable). And while most outcomes in China for pregnant women were good, it’s still frightening to imagine the possibilities - struggling to breathe while giving birth, for example, or having to wear a mask around my sweet baby for the first few weeks of his life while dealing with sleep deprivation, or even worse, having him whisked away from me. Plus, there are many questions with no answers yet even if I don’t get symptoms but jnils does have it - do I bring baby home to jnils? Do I go to my parents’ house but put them at risk if I’m an asymptomatic carrier? I have been clearing my throat more often than usual, and have even coughed a few times today. At what point do I page my midwife and get the test? And even then, all I would be able to do is wait and try to take care of myself. The worrisome possibilities are overwhelming, so all I can do is recognize that other than continue to try to keep my distance from jnils within the house, eat well and sleep well, there’s not much I can do.
Which brings us back to God. God already knows if jnils has it, and if I’m going to get it. He already knows how bad (or good) the outcome may be. He knows exactly when baby boy is coming, who will be there for it, and I have to believe that part of this trial is about strengthening my faith in a good, good Father who does things for our good and for His glory. In talking with jnils about past traumatic medical moments I remembered how, after my wisdom teeth surgery, I woke up and was alone and crying. I couldn’t understand where my dad had gone. The nurse came over and told me he had gone to pick up my medication with the prescription so that I wouldn’t have to wait longer for him. Before I knew that, it felt like he’d abandoned me, when in reality, he was doing something for my good. Our Heavenly Father is like that too. I can’t know or control when baby boy will come. I can’t know or control how hard or easy the labour will be. I can’t know or control whether jnils gets worse or better, or whether I come down with whatever he has. I can’t know or control the diagnosis. At times, all I can do is sob and cry out to Him about all of my fears. Despite my anxieties, I KNOW He has not abandoned me. He is working all things out for my good. All I can do is take it one day at a time and trust in the One who keeps His promises, who is faithful, who loved me enough to save me from my sin. Oh Lord, that I would have faith in You and glorify Your Name even as the fear daily threatens to overwhelm me. Would You heal my husband and protect me, baby boy, and my parents and brother. Would you do the miraculous and let the birth be smooth and good and attended by two healthy parents. Would You let this be a story we tell in the future to glorify You and to tell of Your great provision. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
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Mira Dean - phaware® interview 248
Pulmonary hypertension patient, Mira Dean discusses her diagnosis, overcoming fear of IV therapy and embracing exercise to live a healthier PH lifestyle.
My name is Mira Dean. We live in Cheyenne, Wyoming, which is about 6,200 feet so it makes breathing a little more difficult. I was diagnosed with pulmonary arterial hypertension in 2008. I still see the same doctor that diagnosed me at UC Health down in Denver. When I was diagnosed, I was told I had five years to live. I’m kicking but at nine years now, 10 years, maybe a little bit more.
I just have a very strong connection to PH and the PH Community through Facebook. It breaks my heart every time I look at a Facebook page and I see somebody else newly diagnosed because it's a scary, scary disease. It's become a routine in my life now. I still wish I didn't have it, but it's something that I have chosen not to let define me.
In February of 2008, I just wasn't feeling good. I'd lay down and I try and sleep. Of course, at that point, I was laying just on one pillow and not thinking too much about it, but I literally felt like I had bricks on my chest. I would end up sleeping in a recliner or a chair or something of that nature just so I can get some rest. I started trying to investigate it. That was probably one of the most difficult periods of time during this whole disease because I saw a cardiologist, I saw a pulmonologist. I had doctors telling me that it was psychological, that there was nothing wrong with me physically. I believe every single doctor that I saw, if I remember correctly, told me that if I lost more weight that I would feel better. I saw 19 doctors before I was diagnosed correctly.
To be told that nothing is wrong with you or that it's psychological and you just need some help wrapping your mind around this. To be told that over and over and over again felt very defeating. I remember just sitting in my car after numerous doctors' appointments crying because I just felt like no one was listening to me and no one cared what I was telling them because they felt they knew better than I did. That part was very frustrating.
I remember the last pulmonologist I saw, and at that point, I had no idea. I had never heard of PH other than pH levels when you're testing your water and stuff to make sure that it's the right level, and so I had never heard of that before. I didn't really have an idea of what that was. I was about ready to give up and think, okay, this must be in my head. I have to figure out a way to get past this. I went to a cardiologist. I thought I'm going to try one more time. He had my records. I had probably a three-inch file of records that he had in front of him. He spent not even probably 10 minutes examining me, automatically knew what was going on and he said, "You need to go to the hospital." I said, "Okay." I thought, well, that's encouraging. At least somebody is telling me something is going to happen. I said, "Okay, well, when do I need to do it?" He said, "No, you don't understand. You leave this office and you go right to the hospital."
When I heard that, it scared me to death, quite honestly, because I thought, oh my gosh, I spent all this time trying to find this doctor to tell me that there's actually something wrong with me and now he's telling me I have to get to the hospital right now. That was the most relieving and the scariest at the same time just because I was so thankful to know that there was something physically wrong with me. I was just so glad that somebody finally recognized that there was an issue.
I was admitted to the hospital that day, and that's where it all started. He did a right heart cath. That was my first one. My pressures were 114. I remember laying in the hospital bed, because of course that was back when you had to be flat on your back and you couldn't move for six hours after a right heart cath. He was walking out of my room into the hallway, and I don't think he realized how close he was still to my room because he walked out and he said, "I have never seen this before. Her pressures are 114. I have never seen anybody that is still alive after something like that." When I heard that, again, I was relieved to know what was going on, but then my thoughts all turned to, okay, now what? What do we do?
He's the one that recommended me and sent me immediately down to UC Health in Denver to see Dr. Todd Bull. Dr. Bull was actually the one that gave me the very specific diagnosis. It was so scary. I couldn't believe what he was telling me about and talking about and getting me on medications and this had to happen and I had to start diuretics. It was overwhelming and at times, it still can be. Back then, boy, I was scared to death literally because, of course, you hear things like that and you start thinking, okay, well, let me look on the internet and let me see what's going on. That makes it even worse. It was just a very scary time for me.
I was put on Revatio, which is a pretty familiar drug to everyone. I had to sleep with oxygen at night. Other than that, that's how we started treating it. I saw Dr. Bull probably, once every three months. Every doctor's appointment requires an echo beforehand to see where I was at. When I think back to those days and realize that I was only on one medication therapy and hoping and praying that all the time that it would work, and I think it did to an extent. It helped tone down, for lack of a better term, some of the symptoms. I at least felt like I was on the right track and I was going down the right path to where I could get this under control. Again, there was still that scary thought of, okay, there isn't a cure out there and so regardless of what I go on, I'm going to have all of this forever basically.
It was difficult and easy at the same time because like I said, I was only taking one drug, and that was in 2008. I was not getting better, but I felt like I was a little more stable. Probably one of the worst years I had was 2013. I started feeling worse. It was horrible. The shortness of breath was unimaginable. Just to be able to walk across the room and be short of breath from that and have to sit down, not to mention just being able to do other everyday tasks were becoming a lot more difficult for me.
In 2012, I was in and out of the hospital with getting fluid off and doing all of these things that are normally associated with helping to ease the PH. I just kept getting more and more ill. I just felt like I couldn't do anything. It was hard to maneuver. It was hard to move. I certainly couldn't do anything like cleaning or cooking or anything of that nature. I was admitted to the hospital in April of 2013. That's when Dr. Bull made the decision that I became the first patient he had that had a pacemaker implanted. That was first in April, and then I recovered a couple of weeks from that.
That's when I was put on Remodulin and got the line that goes into my system. That was scarier to me than being diagnosed, and I didn't think there'd be anything more scarier than that. When I knew that I had a line of medication going into my body that I had to be responsible for and be responsible for the changes every 48 hours and all of that, I was, oh my gosh, I don't even know if I can describe how absolutely panicked I was because I kept telling my husband, "I didn't become a nurse for a reason because I don't like all of this stuff. I don't like to have to do things like this, and to be responsible for medications going into my body that is so strong and has so many side effects.” I was terrified. Over the years, I got used to the Remodulin, as used to it as you can be, carrying around that pump and having to be literally tethered to something 24/7.
About a year and a half ago, Dr. Bull put me on Opsumit, as well. I'm on a trio of therapies now. The Remodulin, I truly believe saved my life. Things are looking a lot more positive now. I remember when Dr. Bull told me that I had to have this line put in. I remember him telling me that if I got down to a certain weight that he would consider me for a lung transplant. The weight at that time that he gave me was so far out. I didn't even think about it, because I knew that I didn't feel like that was something that I could achieve. I always knew that I needed to lose weight, but with all of this going on, it was just not something that I wanted to focus on, and I chose to not focus on it. As a result gained even more weight, quite a bit more weight than when I was diagnosed.
Last February, so 2018, I was in a doctor's appointment with him and they gave me the regular spiel of you would feel better if you lost weight and so forth. For some reason, in that appointment, something clicked and I thought, I've got to do something about this because I've got children. I've got grandchildren that I want to be able to see for a long time. I need to take this part a little more seriously because I hadn't in the past. That afternoon when we were driving back from Denver, I told my husband, and he had heard it before, he has never been one to push me into dieting or anything like that, but I knew in my heart that it was different.
I came home. I had gotten the approval from Dr. Bull to do light exercise. I found a used recumbent bike and that very next day, I started using it. I could barely do anything on it. After five minutes at the lowest level of resistance, I was done after 10 minutes. But I kept on it every day and kept getting stronger and stronger and am still doing it now. I've upgraded to a better bike, and I've lost almost 120 pounds. I really feel that that coupled with the therapies that I'm on is really making a difference. I feel healthier.
The one thing I will say is I think in my head, I thought, well, maybe it'll make my symptoms better and I'll get better and I'll feel better, and I still am short of breath, and I still have those symptoms, and I still have the side effects from the medications. I think those are things that I know I'm going to have to continue to live with, but I feel a little bit more capable of handling this whole situation now that I have gotten this much weight off. It really has made a difference. I know that I've read about people that have lost the weight and it made a difference. I thought, well, I don't know. Maybe it will. Maybe it won't. I can honestly say that it has.
I'm Mira Dean, and I'm aware that I'm rare.
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POST CONTAINS AFFILIATE LINKS
It is almost Thanksgiving day and I have yet to even post on social media my “thankful list”. I usually always post something I am thankful for each day of the month of November. I have been slacking this year on Facebook and all other media sites. I usually put picture collages together and have a wonderful little saying to go along with it…but not this year. I am too busy stopping myself from hurting people due to the stress they put on me and I have yet to show my thanks until now. I have a friend and fellow heart mom that post daily for her thanks and she has been using a picture to give some ideas for each day. Since it will probably be a busy and stressful week, I am going to do all 30 now and try to reflect on all the things I have and am thankful for instead of all the holiday stress.
#1. What smell are you grateful for today?
I can list about a thousand different smells that I love and I am thankful for but the ones I am most thankful for is the smell of the Fall. The leaves falling and swirling around in the cool air and releasing a fragrance of the earth that brings the senses to life. I love the smell of a cool Autumn day. This scent makes me think of the Fall leaves and the smell I am referring to
#2. What technology are you grateful for?
I love some of the new technology like computers and smart t.v.’s but I am most thankful for the cell phone. I love that I can get in touch with anyone at a moments notice. I can know for sure if my husband and family members have made it safely to their destination and also be able to video chat from wherever and whenever. It makes life a little less stressful when you can call for help, get verification, and see someone while chatting at the drop of a hat. I love my cell phone. I have the Galaxy S7 Edge and I love how you have an SD card option because I take TONS of photos all the time.
#3. What color are you grateful for?
If you have read other blog post and know anything about me as a mom and what I have been through with my daughter having a heart defect; you will understand why I choose this color….PINK! It is the color my daughter was when she was born and after her diagnosis of Tetralogy Of Fallot. She was considered to be a “pink tet” until her open heart surgery. Most babies with Tetralogy Of Fallot have what the call “tet spells” or “blue spells” or they can be born blue (cyanotic) or pink. Pink indicated oxygenated blood is good throughout the body and blue mean poor oxygenated blood and could indicate low O2 saturation. My daughter was pink and that is why I am most thankful for the color pink 🙂
#4. What food are you most grateful for?
I am most thankful for chocolate! Most importantly I am thankful for a candy called TURTLES!!! It is the best thing to eat when you are happy, sad, mad, excited, miserable and depressed. It has to be the ultimate choice of chocolate candies when “flow” is in town….if you know what I mean.
#5. What sound are you grateful for today?
Easy peasy!!! My daughter’s voice. Nothing compares to the sound of your child saying “I love you” and “you’re the best mommy in the world”. Nothing holds a candle to hearing the sounds of her words and to know I made this little human and have the honor and privilege to be her mother. She loves to sing and make up her own songs and it is the most beautiful sound in the world!
#6. What in nature are you grateful for?
I will have to say the wind. Nothing compares to the feel of it, the sound of it and the smell of it. It is invisible but it is so strong and beautiful in all its ways.
#7. What memory are you grateful for?
The birth of my baby girl. Seeing her for the first time and knowing this is my little person. The beautiful and gentleness of that sweet little baby in my arms and everything about her is just breathtakingly sweet. I will never forget the moment you entered this world and I finally got to meet you and know you once and for all.
#8. What book are you most grateful for?
The book of life…The Bible. The words of truth and wisdom from a loving God and Saviour to guide us through life and help us lead us back to an eternity with our Father.
#9. What place are you most grateful for?
This one is tough! I am most certainly thankful for the arms of my husband and my parent’s house to have a place to run to when the world is burying me but I have to say I am most thankful for Heaven. A place that is for the sanctified and for rest after this life on earth is done. A place full of peace and a forever home to go to when the world says its done with you and there will be no more pain.
#10. What taste are you grateful for?
Easy!!! Margarita’s (I am currently having a text conversation with my lifelong friend Brandy about margaritas and how badly we need some.) That is a taste of sweet relief and it relieves tons of anxiety and stress. I’m in desperate need for this taste to be in my mouth soon!!!!!
#11. What holiday are you grateful for?
Christmas!!!!! The birth of our Saviour Jesus Christ!! A time of hope and cheer with so much good times and memorable moments to share. All the beautiful decorations and lights to bring a special holiday of gift giving and family to life.
#12. What texture are you grateful for?
Bumpy! Like the scars that remind me of the trials in life that gave me insight and meaning. Like the scars of a surgery that was scary and yet wonderfully created to save my baby and all the other CHD children out there across the globe.
#13. What abilities are you grateful for?
I am MOST grateful for the ability I had to become a mother. It is an honor and privilege to be able to carry a human being…life inside your body! The ability to conceive and carry a child is one that some women do not have and can only hope for. It is a superpower and a gift that should never be overlooked and ignored.
#14. What sight are you grateful for today?
My daughter and husband…the sight of them is one of reassurance and love that I need to make it through each day. I see love and grace and so much beauty when I see my little family.
#15. What season are you grateful for?
FALL!!!! Autumn!!! The best time of year and most favorite season of all!!! There is no comparison to the feel of a beautiful Autumn sunrise and sunset. To feel the breeze blowing and hear the rustling the leaves all around you is magical.
#16. What about your body are you grateful for?
That although fragile and weak it can still sustain a lifetime of pain and still keep going. It can go through so much and endure the most mentally and physical struggles and still survive.
#17. What knowledge are you grateful for?
I am grateful for the knowledge of forgiveness and love. To have one is to have the other. Both are easy and yet hard all the same and vital in our daily lives. The struggles to love someone unworthy is sickening but justifiable as well as forgiving them to free yourself of the burden of yours and others mistakes.
#18. What piece of art are you most grateful for?
My daughter’s thankful drawing 🙂 Too cute and shows her gratitude for her sister Gypsy (aka Gi Gi) our 10-year-old toy poodle.
#19. What touch are you grateful for today?
Hugs! My daughter’s hugs and little hands in mine are my favorite. To have those little arms locked around my neck, my waist, and her little hand in mine is what makes life worth living and keeps me fighting for every breath I can get.
#20. Who in your life are you grateful for?
My husband, my daughter, my parents, sisters, and brothers, my pets, and friends. Above all today and every day I am MOST thankful for my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. I am unworthy of so many blessing and yet he died so I could live. Thank YOU, Jesus!
#21. What song are you most grateful for?
Hard one here…..ugh! So many I love and am thankful for. Today and always I guess I would have to say Bon Jovi’s Living On A Prayer. It has been one of my all-time favorites since I was a young kid and it still is one of the best songs by the band and one that is loved.
#22. What story are you grateful for?
The story of Jesus and His life and death. It is the foundation of everything to me. It brings hope to those who have faith.
#23. What tradition are you grateful for?
Going to church on Christmas Eve and then going home to watch Home Alone and A Christmas Story for 24 hours and drinking hot cocoa and eating beignets with the loved ones. We snuggle in for the night and wait for Santa to pass.
#24. What challenge are you grateful for?
Motherhood and survival. They teach you everything you will ever need in this life. You learn how to love unconditionally and completely all the while trying to maintain your sanity and survive the hard times and protect your kid.
#25. What moment this week are you most grateful for?
Getting to sleep late with my baby girl and waking to her telling me how much she loves me and I’m the best mom in the world. School’s out this week and I have plenty of time to spend with my daughter and have fun with her.
#26. What form of expression are you most grateful for?
Writing or speaking…both are kind of the same but different. They both say something and tell a story in its own way.
#27. What small thing that you use daily are you grateful for?
My wedding band 🙂 It is used daily to show a sign and token of my love and marriage to my husband. It is a symbol of our love eternal and our bond to one another through the Father.
#28. What small thing that happened today are you grateful for?
I got to wake up and be alive. Nothing more than breathing and existing with those I love most.
#29. What friend/family member are you grateful for today?
My daughter for giving me the strength and courage to wake up and face the day when the world just makes you want to run and hide.
#30. What talent or skill do you have that you are grateful for?
Determination! No matter what I am determined to be better for my husband and daughter and to give my all and get away from the areas that bind me and my family and get to a better place of peace and happiness.
I am grateful and so thankful for so many things in my life that I take for granted sometimes. I am so very thankful for the people in my life who have my back and make sure I and my little family have some sort of peace away from the storm. I have great parents and siblings. I have a loving husband who is also my best friend and the best father in the world. I have so many friends and only see a few but they have all been so great to me growing up and still now. My daughter is my most treasured and valuable gift God could have ever given me. I do what I do because of who you are and what you have made of me.
I hope everyone has a great and fruitful Thanksgiving Day and a safe Black Friday shopping trip if you are going to be out and about. I hope you all have a wonderful day filled with laughter, family, and of course turkey. Don’t forget to bring the little Elf On The Shelf back for the kids this week 🙂 God Bless!
30 Things I Am Most Grateful For This Thanksgiving POST CONTAINS AFFILIATE LINKS It is almost Thanksgiving day and I have yet to even post on social media my "thankful list''.
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April 24, 2015: First Round of Chemotherapy
The (scary) day was here. I woke up that morning not knowing how I would feel by the end of the day. Not knowing if I was going to begin to throw up for days on end as the poison (yes, I said poison; that’s what it is) worked it’s way through my body. I really didn’t know how to throw up. I was 40 years old and the last time I vomited… I was 12. I have never had the stomach flu, that I remember, never vomited from food poisoning with the exception of when I was about 4, never had so much to drink that my stomach rejected it. The only reason I was sick at 12 was encephalitis; before that, it was one time when I was 6 and I got the chicken pox. I was terrified that I was going to throw up. Would I know it was going to happen before I did it, or was I just going to be sitting in the chair and throw up on myself? (Weird, right?) Well, as someone who hadn’t thrown up in 28 years, these were valid concerns. Anyway, it was time to go.
We took the boy to his grandparent’s house about 15 miles from the oncology clinic. When we told them about the diagnosis, they told us that they would watch him for every appointment that we had. Thank goodness for that, especially this first day. I couldn’t have done it alone. So, first we have to do a little blood work before seeing the doctor. She needed to check the levels of all the important stuff.
When we arrived at the hospital, I went to meet with my oncologist. She really is a fabulous human being; not because she is a doctor and works on healing patients with life-threatening illness, I mean in general. At first, after my diagnosis, we thought about going to the oncology center closer to home; my doctor was pregnant and I would have to switch to see someone else in the office half way through my chemo rotation. In hindsight, I am glad that we stuck with the clinic that my best friend recommended. I am sure that any other clinic would have been just as good, but I have a personal relationship with with my oncologist. I am pretty sure that we spend at least 20 minutes of my office visits catching up on kids and parents and what-not.
So, after we met with the doctor she sent us out of the office into the hospital, up to the fifth floor at John Stoddard Cancer Center. We checked in at the desk, and went to sit down in the lobby until my name was called. There was a fish tank to look at, the TV was on, I’m pretty sure that it was playing “The Price Is Right”, and we waited. My nerves tensed up a little bit every time the door opened and I would hold my breath until someone was called. Finally, they called my name; I had to force myself to exhale and put on my award winning smile. Batter, UP!
I can’t imagine being a nurse, let alone one who induces poison into people on a daily basis. They are so used to what they do, that they don’t even really think about it. She was chatty, talking about how long she’d been doing this and what I was to expect. She explained that before any medicine, she was going to give me a combination of anti-nausea and steroids to boost the anti-nausea meds. She hooked me up to the drip, placed the settings, and left the room; like this was no big deal. As she started to leave, I had a sudden realization that this was my life, I was hooked up to a pole that was going to administer something into my body to kill what was potentially killing me. I turned my head away from the door, covered my eyes, and cried a silent cry as the tears streamed down my face onto the pillow. I heard my hubby begin to cry because I was. I can't imagine how scared he was.
As soon as the anti nausea meds were completed, here came the nurse again holding three vials of bright red liquid, dressed in full protective gear, with a plastic glass of ice chips. She asked me if I was ready. Well… No? Can anyone really ever be ready for something like this? All I had heard for the last few months was about how horribly sick this was going to make me, how I would lose my hair, lose a bunch of weight, (ok, I WAS ready for that. LOL), and what a terrible thing it was going to be. Sure. Sign me up. Duh. (Not my picture below.)
So, she explains that the reason she is dressed like this was because Cytoxan is a harsh medicine and if it is accidentally ingested, it could ruin her ovaries and she wasn’t done having children. Oh. Good. I’d like a double dose. That makes it sound really scary. Good thing I was done having children. The ice chips were because this medicine has the potential (and the probability) to cause terrible blisters in my mouth. Again… sign me up for a double because that sounds fun! This medicine cannot be in an IV bag because it would break down the materials of the bag, so it came in syringes; hard, plastic syringes. Once she was done with that she left to get the bag of Adriamycin. Two medicines for four weeks - I wondered what that cost. (Found that out, holy crap!) Anyway, since the nurses just pushed copious amounts of liquid into my system, I know had to use the restroom. I had forgotten that she told me that my urine would be a different color so it was kind of shocking to see dark orange when I flushed. Anyway, back to the bed for more poison I went.
When it was all said and done, the nurse came by with a “to-go shot” of Neulasta®. This was to boost my body to make more white blood cells. Good, those are pretty necessary if I am going to stay “healthy”. So, my diabetic husband, who doesn’t like needles, was supposed to give me a shot? Pshhhh, yeah right. Good thing a lot of my friends are nurses! I called E and she was more than happy to come do it the next day. We also had two different kinds of anti-nausea medication. One was a four hour, the other an eight hour. I was instructed to take them continuously for the next few days. So I did. More on that later.
Peace
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