#but the actual lack of eye contact from everyone is super obvious when i'm sitting Right There

[thebirdandhersong]

💙

#not to be miserable once again but i simply Hate feeling alone in a group of people #and sometimes it is just so lonely here even though there are a number of us in this student residence #we had a small prayer and worship meeting tonight and i was quite happy about that #because people in smaller groups are easier to talk to #but turns out i CAN indeed feel acutely lonely in a five person group! #probably made it worse!!! #if you pray for EVERYONE in the group except me during your turn of course i will notice. like what does that accomplish #and conversations about people and past events and inside jokes i dont know about are fine i like listening #but the actual lack of eye contact from everyone is super obvious when i'm sitting Right There #SORRY shall delete this at a later date i am just. so sad again #every time i think i'm making headway and making friends here at last something like this happens #and i'm reminded once again that people just don't want me here #too tired to cry but seriously!! i'm so sick of being lonely and i wish i weren't so hung up on making friends #when it is so clear sometimes that people just want to stick to their old friends and their existing circles #i SHALL grin and bear it. my word i will NOT let this make me hard and unkind #but goodness it is just so much of a struggle when i've been in this position again and again in every new community i enter