#but just... mind your words; cause if you say stuff thoughtlessly you'll find other people's behavior shifts or dries up

[medicinemane]

Piece of advice is to always thank people for bring you bad news, so long as it's bad news you need to know to do something about it

Like that's really the only context I can think of bringing bad news in, so like... feel free to ignore if they're somehow just being spiteful with it, but like if they're coming to you like "yeah, you bed turned to goop while you were out and you need to get a new one", yeah that's not the sort of thing you want to hear but you probably need to know about it so you can fix it

The reason to thank them is so that you don't accidentally take your frustration over the bad news out on them, cause if you do that you won't get bad news and that means you won't be able to make accurate decisions when you're missing key info

Always gotta reward the behavior you want people to do if you want it to keep happening

#that's not what this post is actually about #this post is about someone that's not on here doing something that they don't mean anything by but is the wrong thing to do #because while I know that's not how they mean it so I'll ignore it; it feels like a bit of a kick in the gut #so this is me sharing what to do right rather than saying what someone's done wrong #... for a number of reasons; some less healthy than others #but one of the reasonable reasons being that I'd rather focus on what is good to do instead of what's bad #but just... mind your words; cause if you say stuff thoughtlessly you'll find other people's behavior shifts or dries up #so in my opinion it's better to actively affirm that you appreciate stuff rather than even just saying nothing #and this is more shifting back to what I was saying in the post; but that includes when you're annoyed #if someone pissed you off but they're doing something you want them to keep doing... need to reward it #like... lets say that... lets say you've got a kid and they ask annoying ass questions #well bad news; you probably want them to come to you with questions about important stuff later #so sadly the only wise move is to swallow your irritation and be grateful they're asking you; and do what you can to answer honestly #which funny enough is also the polite move #or at the very least as politely as possible explain it's not them it's you; but you're just too damn tired to answer questions #less ideal and more likely to shut things down; but it's still better than being actually nasty; and maybe you just are too tired #...I don't know #it's all kind of just nonsense rambling