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#but annnyway I'm totally normal and fine :)
running-in-the-dark
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1 month
Text
a super fun thing that my brain is really good at is hearing a random fact and remembering it forever. but only if it's bad :)
#the reason I'm thinking about that right now: I wish I had never read that having a crease on your earlobe means you're more likely to have
#heart disease.
#scared me so much that I read a whole paper about it
#but it's been years now so I don't remember the details
#just that that's a thing apparently
#and guess what my brain does with that information? oh yeah of course I have to obsessively look at the ears of everyone now! does that
#do anything helpful? nope! just makes me very very anxious :)
#it's just like when I was a kid and I got nightmares about scurvy every time I didn't eat a potato for a week.
#like. wow I could be so smart and everything if my brain wasn't constantly focused on random bullshit that is completely irrelevant 😭
#also this thing specifically: I've always been weirdly fascinated by ears and this made that a million times worse and also very scary.
#like ooh that's a nice ear :) oh no death exists and this person is going to die and
#yeah it sucks.
#specifically choosing not to mention any names in this context because my god this shit is on my mind all the time already I really don't
#need to say it where anyone can see
#it's embarrassing enough
#though anyone who has looked at my blog in the past month already knows who I'm talking about.
#like. I really shouldn't allow myself to like anyone over the age of like. idk 45.
#it's so unbelievably exhausting.
#but annnyway I'm totally normal and fine :)
#oh yeah I also have creases on my earlobes lol so that definitely added to the scariness (and THEN my mother randomly mentioned recently
#that EVERYONE on her side of the family had/has heart disease. bitch WHAT the fuck. anyway so yeah guess we know what's gonna kill me
#haha isn't that fun :) )
#ALSO the fact that my memory is very very bad means that I remember absolutely none of the details about shit like this. so it could very
#well be completely irrelevant and harmless but i wouldn't remember that part.
#and I think even if I found out more it wouldn't help. it's been an obsession for so long. I've never had one go away that I've had for
#this long. so. guess I'm just fucked.
#personal
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