#before you all @ me about lestat please remember he has TRAUMA

[monstersinthecosmos]

I think what makes this whole situation even worse for Armand is that he only has one (1) fledging. There is literally no point of reference about anything when it comes to him and Daniel except for Armand’s past experiences with Marius which in SOME ways are similar to what Armand and Daniel went through but in other ways they’re completely different experiences. Lestat, Marius and pretty much all of the other main vampires in the series (even Louis even though RIP to both those cuties) have a whole roaster of fledglings to develop different types of relationships with and over the series, they allow them to grow and change and feed off each other, but Armand *only* has Daniel, so it must be legitimately maddening because all the good and the bad and the crazy is just… one relationship for Armand. And it’s obviously a position he put himself in by obsessing over and falling in love with Daniel so hopelessly to the point where he couldn’t even consider continuing existing without him. And then he cursed them both. But I think that in finding himself and regaining his will to live and to have meaningful connections in late canon, he was also able to accept Daniel’s love again, and maybe to start having important conversations about the trauma they both went through when Daniel was turned and after they separated. I’d like to think they didn’t just reunite in PL and immediately jumped right back into a relationship like two stupid teenagers but actually had Important Conversations about what they’d gone through before Daniel moved into Trinity Gate and they decided to give it another go. NYC has great therapists and they’re rich so, please? 🙏

[ dgajksdg I waited too long to answer this bc I was too sad but just for reference icymi I got this ask after posting this devastating shit ]

fuck man!!!!!!

yes! YES.

(I feel like I don’t have a lot to add except that I’m bawling my fuckin eyes out so hear me out for a sec)

It’s just like, man Armand is so fuckin tragic you know? There’s so much nature/nurture to think about when you look at the others but it’s like, he was SO deeply traumatized for his early years I’m not surprised he couldn’t even try. I bring this up from time to time but it’s like, his time with Marius was so brief in the scheme of things, and even if his turning itself or the small amount of time he had with Marius wasn’t traumatic, the fallout was ENOUGH. And like, to relapse back into a cult after being with Marius makes me wonder if he convinced himself that those years were like, an abomination or a mistake, even if his actual turning itself wasn’t awful.

Then you look at someone like Lestat, who was also super traumatized by the way he was turned, and simply will not fucking stop making fledglings because he’s so lonely and has no impulse control and can’t cope with the concept of losing people. I think the two of them are both so desperate for companionship and still approach it so differently because of their personalities. And even without turning people I just think like, Armand has dealt with so much rejection? It's hard enough to get people to stick around when they're already vampires, like, why would he invest in a human at this point.

So yeah it’s just, it fucks me up every day of my life that Daniel is the only one for him.

I think a lot about the “Remember then that it was love” convo with Marius and how like, Armand seems to have made steady progress in his relationships over the years. Like, acting like less of an animal, being more present with people, etc. And it finally settles on Daniel and repeats some of the Venice stuff.

The irony too of how he GOT Daniel there by being a fucking predator at first; same with how Marius chose Armand because he had no innate value anymore as a person, no one would miss him, every day Marius gave him was a bonus and he was living on borrowed time. Daniel’s life sort of ends the night he meets Louis and Armand harasses him to the point of completely isolating him and fucking up his whole life. In that way he’s at rock bottom with nothing else to lose, also on borrowed time, nowhere to go but up.

Anyway sdhgkjlasg boy yeah they have so much to talk about and like. I think there’s enough anecdotes about vampires who go mad and don’t recover, and it’s promising to me that Daniel DOES recover. And I want them to speak and heal and I hope they both respect how fucking special it is that Daniel is The One.

#i'm sad about armand again good morning! #armand pain #vampire chronicles #devil's minion #armand #daniel molloy #armand/daniel #deep ass thoughts about vampires #trauma hole theory #anne rice

[hekateinhell]

♡ Hospital AU Lestat and Armand 🏥💕

*DYING at you picking an AU that technically does not exist yet lmao I'm obsessed! I really did love the back-and-forth tweet fic style thing with DA + everyone else who contributed because this one is just really fun and kinky and I've missed them!!

So for the sake of headcanons, let's say they're at the point in their relationship where they just started dating. Armand and therapist!Lestat are still engaging in unethical BDSM activities in the workplace (Armand is still seeing cute anesthesiologist!Daniel on the side; he doesn't ask about Lestat's extracurriculars).

Hospital AU tag for anyone who wants to know what exactly is going on here... you'll miss some stuff if you have the default 'Mature' content filters on, go check that if you follow me please. 🥹

NSFW below the cut.

Who is the most affectionate?

It's a weird transition from "Armand bending over Lestat's lap, spreading himself open and waiting for an insertion of some sort — in a purely professional capacity, of course" to "Hey, want me to pick you up after your shift? It'll be 3am..."

At first Lestat's somewhat hesitant to cuddle Armand because Armand just looks so standoffish and disinterested sometimes (hilarious considering Lestat's already had Armand panting and rutting against his jeans while Lestat fucks him with a silicone impression of his dick right there on his therapy couch).

But he gets over it by their second sleepover and just grabs Armand in this massive bear cuddle and pins him to his chest. Armand's startled at first but then he reaches up to grip Lestat's forearms and doesn't let go. Hard to envision a world where Lestat isn't the golden retriever boyfriend, and he is definitely still the most affectionate of the two, but Armand's much more open now that Lestat's ripped that Band-Aid off for them (so to speak).

Armand showing affection looks more like kissing Lestat's temple before leaving his office after one of their "therapy sessions", sore and hazy but grateful. Wrapping his arms around Lestat's back and pressing his cheek to his middle while he's trying to cook in Armand's kitchen (the first time that apartment has seen honest to goodness food). Touching Lestat's arm when they pass each other in the hallway, Armand pretending he hadn't just gotten rug-burn 10 minutes ago while he was busy choking on Lestat's dick and squirming on cheap carpet two rooms down (jk his gag reflex is excellent).

Who initiates the handholding?

Armand's not one for PDA so it's a Big Deal when he does reach for Lestat's hand to ground himself after a particularly rough shift if they're still in public/the hospital parking lot/running errands.

He does everything he can for his patients and his job is his whole identity, so he takes it very hard when something does go wrong.

He's a long way from ever even thinking about admitting it but sometimes Lestat's large, blazingly warm hands feel like the only thing keeping him tethered to reality.

Who worries more for the other?

Lestat worries about Armand a lot because he has the unhealthiest stereotypical baby surgeon habits—thinks he's invincible and can survive on Monster energy drinks and vending machine honeybuns and a combined six hours of sleep over a three-day period. He's seen a lot of young doctors crash and burn in the couple years he's been practicing at Trinity General.

Who is more likely to ask for help?

Lestat makes his living reminding people 'there's no shame in asking for help, we're all human', but it's always easier to preach rather to practice.

I'd say they both equally suck at this for very similar reasons: ego, pride, and trauma. Imagine a psychotherapist and a cardiothoracic surgeon asking for help.

Who is the one always losing the keys?

Armand can't remember when he ate his last "meal" or the last time he slept. It's Armand. At this point he more or less lives in Lestat's townhouse out of necessity (at least until he can find time to call the super and get another key and he will Not Be Doing That).

Who leaves little love notes for the other?

Since they're in the awkward, unofficial 'I know what your face looks like when you're having a god-tier orgasm but not your favorite food or color" stage, love notes look more like Lestat texting Armand "Did you eat today? I'll Uber you something to the hospital."

Or Armand simply asking him, "Text me when you're going to bed?" (which really means "Text me when you're staying put for the night so I know you're safe wherever you are.")

Comes more naturally to Lestat though for sure.

Who can’t sleep unless the other is there?

Lestat is finding more and more lately that he sleeps the best when Armand's ass is pressed up against his stomach. Or when somehow their positions switch up during the night and he wakes up from a dream to find his head over Armand's chest and Armand's hand in his hair.

Who is more likely to propose to the other?

ashsjksksgd don't mention that word right now, they'll both run for the hills.

(Lestat. He lowkey wanted to marry Armand ever since Armand took a stethoscope to his heart right in the middle of bouncing on his cock and came hard to the sound of Lestat's heart beating right out of his chest... it's exactly the kind of freakish behavior that captured Lestat's attention permanently and also his dick. It's... unusual, make no mistake, but also pretty fucking hot.)

Who introduced the other to their family first?

It's extremely unfortunate that Lestat's mother works at the same hospital in which he fucks his coworker on the regular. She knows, because Gabrielle knows all. She is unimpressed.

We'll say Lestat, even though he wishes very much that were not the case.

Who is more likely to play with the other’s hair?

Armand's getting better and better with showing affection (he's never had to do this before, he's never been in a situationship that wasn't based purely on sex). He's learning that Lestat really responds some kind of way to Armand dragging his nails through his hair and rubbing his scalp. And by some kind of way, I mean he makes the most pathetic whining sound and looks like he's in physical pain.

Who makes sure the other has meals/stays hydrated?

See 'love notes.'

It must be noted that Lestat is not above having Armand eat from his hand like a dog while he already has him pliant over his lap and laying in his own cum in the office, too blissed out and sweet to be snarky and dismissive.

(Also, this is Lestat. He's not completely selfless, don't get the wrong idea — at least 50% of this is rooted his own desire to not only be wanted but also needed).

Who is more likely to stand up to anyone for the other?

They're both feral, it's a tie.

Who is the most likely to prepare a surprise for the other?

Armand is not a fan of surprises, thank you very much. He experiences enough shocks in his day-to-day rummaging around people's chests.

Lestat on the other hand loves a good surprise; he's always exclaiming and gasping over stuff in a very childish and endearing way. Armand picks up on this early on in their dates and tries to surprise him throughout the week with little gifts (some of the adult and provocative nature).

Who makes the other pinky promise not to do certain things?

Lestat once dared say to Armand, "Pinky promise me you won't sleep in the on-call room for the fourth night in a row because you're that stressed out about your patient?"

Armand laughed in his face.

Who puts a blanket over the other when they fall asleep on the couch?

Both of them.

Lestat hunts down Armand during his lunch breaks (super casually, if he bumps into him it's purely coincidental) and sometimes he finds him asleep in the doctor's lounge or an empty patient's room, so he'll grab a blanket from the supply closet and tuck him in.

Lestat does actually work as well, and there have been times where Armand showed up for his "appointment" to find Lestat sound asleep on a pile of paperwork. Armand still privately thinks that what he does is more important (because he's a surgeon with a God complex), but he can't deny that Lestat's job also takes a very real toll on him. Armand raids the supply closet (different one) and even manages to slip a thin hospital pillow under Lestat's head while he frowns and sighs in his sleep.

It's one of those moments where things suddenly seem a little too real for Armand, and his own heart aches in a way he's not ready to acknowledge.

#i've been dying ever since i saw this one lol i'm always drowning in I/a thoughts canon AU or otherwise my life's a mess i love them so much #hope these hit the spot <3 #(hope you like these too DA thank you for playing with me and helping me build this fun little world) #you get like a co-writer's credit when i do eventually write this thing <3333 #armand/lestat #fic: hospital au #ship headcanons ask meme #you ask and hekate answers

[canonicallysoulmates]

I have a lot of thoughts about iwtv ep 5, the series, loustat, and a little bit about the fan reaction towards the episode. I'm gonna try my best to put my thoughts down and explain them but bear with me.

First off if you are reading this and by chance have not watched the episode please be aware that it is a very intense hour and has a mention of rape as well as graphic domestic violence/abuse so if those are triggers for you please exercise caution if deciding to watch the episode. 

The reactions that I have seen towards the ep, majority varies between those who are in shock and are horrified and are thinking about or going to, stop watching the show and those who are like "what were you expecting?". I'll be sincere I'm a bit on the second camp because I do think that there are some that might have had incorrect assumptions or expectations regarding this story because we've gotten so much happy vampire husbands and a lot of the promo for this show has been about how, at least this season, is Loustat's love story.

And, imo, it still is Loustat's love story! In all its painful, complicated, messiness because their love is not Hallmark. It's complicated, it's volatile, and it has toxic/abusive elements. These are two individuals with a lot of trauma, and immortality in their hands mortal rules do not apply. And I don't know much about the later books but I do know it takes them a very long time to get to a healthier place.

That being said let me be very clear about this: if you were triggered, feel hurt, or betrayed by the show and/or no longer want to watch the show that is completely valid. I knew things were gonna go dark very fast and even I wasn't fully prepared so if it turns out to be more than what you were expecting or not what you were expecting that's valid- the wonderful thing about this world is that there are other iterations of it, there's the original source material as well as the movie so if you wish to step back from this version there's no reason you can't enjoy the others.

Where I personally stand when it comes to this ep, and this might change because I am still processing it and I do need to re-watch it because this first watch I had to keep pausing due to me crying and screaming but where I stand right now is that it is a very intense and painful episode but it's also brilliantly written. The deterioration of Louis and Lestat's relationship is so painful and I think what adds to the painfulness is how realistically it is portrayed. The relationship slowly falls apart as Louis sinks into his depression over losing Claudia, and Lestat not understanding or being able to outwardly sympathize with that pain, imo, it really is a very accurate depiction of how some marriages become when they lose a child. Louis just wants to get his daughter back while Lestat wants to go back to how things were before she was ever in the picture.

I do want to make the note that I don't think Lestat didn't care for Claudia, I think he cared in his own way but by this point in the story things between them were already bitter, plus these events are told from Claudia's POV and she's not exactly Lestat's biggest fan so it's possible that she's remembering him being more uncaring towards her than he actually was.

Back to what I was saying, it is so painful to witness their relationship and their family fall apart, and to see Louis sink into that depression where all he wants is his daughter back, and then to add insult to injury when he's already suffering so much he loses his last tie to the mortal world when his sister contacts him to let him know she's leaving and breaking off all contact, and that she has had his name engraved on a grave because to her he is dead and has been for years.

My heart breaks for Louis, he cannot catch a fucking break, but it also breaks for Claudia because like her father she cannot catch a fucking break. She is forever stuck in a young body never to find her Lestat to her Louis or her Louis to her Lestat, forever seen as a child by everyone else, not being able to have friends or build connections outside of her parents who are in denial about their crumbling marriage that they don't know how to fix because they can't deal with their own issues if they don't know how to deal with their own problems they're even more clueless about how to help their kid. And when she decides to go out and seek some freedom and finally meets another vampire... she gets raped.

I could have done without that storyline, I get their intent was to show that Lestat was right that there are vampires who would hurt her but they could have shown it other ways.

By the end I was crying for all 3 of them, yes including Lestat, judge me if you want but the little bit of my heart that was still together at the end shattered when Lestat told Louis that he had been waiting for years for Louis to love him like he loves Louis and asked Louis to tell him that he'll never love him because it would be easier for him. To me, that little piece of dialog gives insight as to why Lestat lashed out and reacted so violently, I'm not saying that what he did was right or that his reaction was correct but I don't feel like his actions came out of left field. This fear of Louis leaving him has been building inside of him for years, he is jealous, he is possessive, we know that he is prone to fits of rage and capable of cruelty we have seen it in the show, and he is desperate for Louis love and he knows the one person who could actually take him away is Claudia. Her showing up again, wanting to take Louis away, and Louis ignoring him to focus on her was the detonator to the pressure that had been building even before Claudia arrived in their lives. So he basically lashed out like a scared animal attacking Claudia and then when Louis got in the way taking out on him the brunt of his anger and desperation and pain.

Also to keep in mind is that, again, we are seeing things from Claudia's point of view and as I mentioned by this point in the story she already hated Lestat so there is the question of how truly accurate her recount of this fight is, and if it was as violent as she describes it; it will be interesting to see how the show acknowledges this because in the promo for the next one we do see Daniel, once again confront Louis about some of the more toxic/abusive aspects of his and Lestat's relationship.

Anyways, to me, Lestat is not this irredeemable cruel monster, and he was still in character we're just seeing this aspect of his personality cranked to a 100 and turned towards his partner through the lens of somebody who views him as a monster. This is the episode that starts the battle between Claudia and Lestat for Louis and it's the catalyst that ultimately leads to tragedy for the three of them as they tear each other apart. We entered depression station and we will be staying here for the foreseeable future.

The last point that I want to touch upon is the loustat relationship and I'm gonna keep it simple if you can't ship it anymore, or at least this version, I totally get that but as for me personally, I'm not looking for healthy when it comes to this two. The reason why I love Loustat is the complexity of it and that includes the very toxic, hurtful stages of it like I want them to be happy domestic vampire husbands but I also don't want them to erase the dark parts of their relationship because to me they wouldn't be them without it.

#maybe once i re-watch the ep some of these thoughts will change #loustat #iwtv spoilers #iwtv #mine #non spn #i might also come back later with more thoughts

[hekateinhell]

OH THANK GOD. Honestly it’s not an easy choice either lmao but I’m confident I’ll be able to pick one ☝️ before the night is over (I have now narrowed my choices down to 3 yay). Thank you once again for your service to the community ♥️ some further thots 💭 about the previous poll (it’s the trauma starting to unravel I fear). Back in my days as a VC newbie, it was pretty much accepted that Marius was the love of Armand’s life, like no one really ever put that into question or tried to dispute the claims and there was no discourse whatsoever about the relationship being side eye worthy like there is now. Slowly but surely things started changing and Daniel became the people’s princess, fair and square, and that’s a narrative that has for the most part prevailed even if now there is more room for (brilliant, life altering) discourse re: his relationship with Lestat, after it was disregarded by a lot of fans for years as nothing more than a rivalry with a good dose of UST, even though their love for each other has been explicit in the books since the very beginning. But I guess it’s one of those plot points people just preferred to ignore (to favor Loustat maybe? Idk idk). And then Armand himself told Lestat he was the one he’d loved the most. But then again Louis is the person Armand’s been with for the longest and is (arguably) his most functional relationship. What I’m trying to say here is that this truly the impossible choice and it’s making me anxious lmaooo why is Armand like this???? Truly the Helen of Troy of VC 😔 still love ya tho xoxo DA

Let me know what you end up choosing for the kink poll omg PLEASE ♥️

LMAO LISTEN... we all have trauma, it's why we're on Armandblr.

(Never forget that your therapist most likely also has a therapist)

Yeah, my first experience in VC fandom was like that too! 2007ish? REMEMBER BURNTRICE ON LIVEJOURNAL 🫣

I was a baby though lol a very young 12, and I read TVA and TVL first which made me decide that Marius and Lestat were the ones for Armand. I didn't truly appreciate Devil's Minion until I was around 16-17 and the subtler themes really stood out to me, but then it was like Daniel wasn't a viable option for Armand anymore?? At least in the fandom sphere. And Louis and Armand as a couple had ended on such a tragic and seemingly final note, so baby me didn't pick up on all the juicy little tidbits Anne sneaked in there throughout VC for them.

I went cold on Marius as I got older, but I was an L/A girlie FROM DAY ONE EVEN IF I WAS THE ONLY ONE I DIDN'T CARE 😭 there's definitely massive Loustat blinders on a lot of the fandom, but I've got Armand blinders so I can't really blame them, can I? And then PL happened and Trinity Gate is a thing!! Daniel's back!!! Blood Communion validated the heck out of my L/A feelings!!!!

Anne gave me crumbs but oh, what delicious crumbs they are! Bless her. 💖

#you ask and hekate answers #vc #dungeon anon #<33