#anyway yesterday in bed this heterosexual cis man said to me 'did you ever think you'd be such a gay little boy who likes dick so much'

[brinnanza]

i identify as a lesbian and that's not wrong because I like woman in a profoundly gay way and I recognize that I'm going to be gendered female because of my appearance and I'm apathetic enough about it to allow it except in my presence and sometimes even then but the way I feel about gender In General extends completely to all other aspects of my life like sure woman are hot in a way that I don't typically feel about men but also I do find butch masculinity wildly attractive when it's done on purpose and I think it's just that I like when people color outside the lines if I'm gonna be a weird queer freak then I'm gonna be a Weird Queer Freak and I've become So About It that I'm like... offended?? when people assume I'm doing something regular and normal?? like it's very very important to me that everyone knows I am doing All This aggressively On Purpose I Know that many things would make me more paletable to Most People but I'm not interested in being more palteable I am interested in finding other weird queer freaks!!!!

anyway all that to say that I sometimes get Quite In My Head about the fact that I am doing this Situationship with a straight man who is simultaneously 1. very comfortable with his gender and sexuality as a straight man 2. wildly attracted to me and 3. not thinking of me as a woman because both of the people IN the situationship are very aware this is all very queer I am aware that it Appears oftentimes to be just yknow regular heterosexuality

which is also why it really grinds my gears when chronically online teenagers and adults who should know better are like "this is the only way to be queer" and get all het up about like dykes fucking fags or whatever like babes you're just reinventing the same boxes the cis heteropatriarchy already wants to put us in. put down the iron bars come outside we're all doing drag and making out in the soft, soft grass under the warm bright sun

#i know it sounds like I'm inventing a guy to get mad at and i AM but also that guy exists and I have seen him #and also it's not really the point of the post #or rather it's the source of my own internal strife #and this is how I deal with that #brinn's marble run #I'm going to try and remember that tag #if you just want art go follow @brinnanzaart #anyway yesterday in bed this heterosexual cis man said to me 'did you ever think you'd be such a gay little boy who likes dick so much' #like. these are not things you say if you're actively pretending your partner is a regular cis woman #which to be clear I would be fine with #I do not care what people do in the privacy of their own heads #I only care when it affects me or I have to experience it #if you wanna think I'm a straight girl faking for nonexistant internet clout then go with god #but if you say that to my face I'll reach through your computer and pull your asshole through your mouth #like I'm in not in charge of your thoughts #I AM in charge of setting boundaries for how people treat me #and if you don't meet my standards you don't get to be part of my life