#anyway they scare me and distress me psychologically and I still don't even get 100% of why I have the world's biggest emotional reaction to

[ziracona]

Here @rabbit-exe I stayed up till 5:30am and made this for two hours because I am terrified of them and incredibly sad every time I think about them. Drawing them did not help please take your child. They cause me psychological distress.

#I have no idea how close or far I was. I originally imagined them older than they are --like almost 40 or so. This is how I tried to #translate that mental image down to the same person in their late 20s. I didn't do them justice bc they look way too /normal/ but I am not #yet sure how to fix this. Like I think they would look normal in that you couldn't point to any specific and be like 'ok that ain't right' #but also abnormal and definitely off too. Just in ways you would /sense/ way faster than see #they look so unassuming and nice here but they will turn their head and their eyes are going to reflect the light wrong like human eyes are #not supposed to. and then smile sympathetically at me like they really are a decent person while I die horribly bc I have run the numbers #numerous times and I think unless I just got like--incredible dumb luck--I /just/ lose in this scenario. I always do. I cannot deal #not bc I would have no chance of winning or escaping but because I would both die horribly & confused & psychologically and emotionally #just shattered. Even if I got to 'live' through that/come back I would /not/ be ok I am so terrified of this person you made TuT #but I can't hate or even really feel dislike either I want to like them bc there is stuff about them I like & I just cannot really get that #it doesn't matter bc they are running a different os. So I am just v sad but also I /cannot/ stop thinking about this character bc I want to #find a way to make things manageable and cannot it's very confusing. #brain keeps trying to fix & find some way to get 'this person has many redeeming qualities and is not a hopeless person at all' and #'that's very true but it would not at all change behavior in any of the ways you think it would & in this hypothetical no matter what you #try to do you are still very much going to die and there is just no other ending there' and it is /upsetting/. #me art #art #anyway they scare me and distress me psychologically and I still don't even get 100% of why I have the world's biggest emotional reaction to #their existence but here is your kid come pick them up I'm scared #this is like the most afraid I have ever been of a fictional character and it's surreal bc at this point I don't even know if fear or sorrow #is the stronger emotion and like WHAT even does that MEAN I need to stop #*jean ralphio voice* N-no... That's too much responsibility. ...I gotta find a way out of this... #I am a tactical person in high pressure situations but I have found a scenario I truly stand no chance in any timeline of thinking my way #out of. #*exhausted singing* how am I gonna be an optimist about this #I gotta go to bed it’s way too late to be up I am passing out ginger all TuT :’-]