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antihero-writings · 4 years

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Survey for Ch2 of What They Want to Believe! (Varian fic)

Hello! I’ve never done something like this before, but I thought I’d try it out!

I’m working on chapter 2 of my Varian fic “What They Want to Believe” (I’ll put a link to the first chapter in the replies or a reblog!). The first part of it is a memory scene of when Varian and the Saporians erased the king and queen’s memories. But I’m super torn on how that part of the memory scene should/would go. This fic is supposed to be as accurate to canon as I can make it.

I’ve written three options for the first few pages so far, and am trying to figure out which of them would be most accurate, if any. And, regardless of what’s most accurate/if they’re all accurate, I’d just love to know which one people generally like the most and would like to see in the final version of the fic.

If you have a moment, I’d really appreciate if you could read through the three options and give me feedback on which one you think is most accurate, and/or which one like the most, and why. Or if you have a totally different idea for how this scene should/would go, or you think I should add something specific to any of these, please don’t hesitate to say so!

Please also feel free to give me any other feedback, like on what smaller lines or phrases you liked, or didn’t like, or if there’s a line of dialogue you don’t think is accurate to how a character talks, or if you have ideas for the parts that I put in […]. (But please always try to be as kind as you can) <3

I wrote them in the order that you see them. Before re-watching S3 E1 I forgot that erasing their memories was Varian’s idea, so that’s why the first one is how it is. I think it’s actually my favorite of the three, but I’m not sure it’s accurate, as they make it seem like making everyone forget was Varian’s idea and the Saporians springboarded off of it (hence why I started writing other versions). I might be able to add to it to make it more accurate if you guys like it the most, I’ll just have to finagle it more. The last version is the one I’ve worked on the most, as I think it’s the most accurate. But I think its concept is probably my least favorite XD

Please note that all three of them are rough drafts and will be added to and polished before the final draft. I even left some of my notes to myself or blanks it [ ]. I’m super unsure how their dialogue would go in the second two.

Also please note that any/all of them would have the level of internal monologue closer to what’s in the third one in the final draft. And they would all have that last scene where Varian says he needs to go back to his house, but as that scene doesn’t change I only put it in the last one.

I could probably put these in a google doc if you'd like to comment more thourougly on them, but I thought I'd start with just posting them to tumblr and seeing what people liked more generally.

Thank you for your time!!

OPTION 1:

“What did you do to them?!” Varian tried and failed to keep his voice calm, his eyes ping ponging from the king to the queen.

Frederic and Arianna’s countenances were unchanging, their eyes hazy. He waved his hand in front of their faces and their expressions stayed the same [make this more descriptive]. Varian turned and looked at each of the Saporians in turn.

The girl with the white hair and gravelly voice gave a dark laugh. “Oh didn’t you know? I’m their fairy godmother!” She pulled a wand from her pocket with a flourish and twirled around. “Though, I’ll admit, I may have gone a teensy bit overboard,” she said like that was something to be proud of.

Varian’s eyes widened. He rushed up to her, examining the wand. “That’s a Saporian wand of Oblivium! You erased their memories?!”

“Relax Varian.” Andrew leaned against the wall. “It’s better this way. For us…” he lowered his gaze, “and for you.” He stepped forward and walked around Varian. “You think the King and Queen would be happy to see the kid who tried to overthrow their kingdom running free? I’m gonna save you the brainpower on this one; uh”—he leaned forward and poked Varian’s nose—“no, they wouldn’t. They’d throw you right back in jail, where you belong.”

“But…erasing their memories—” the alchemist jerked back to look at the vacant expressions of the once majesties. “I mean what if they can’t get them back?! What if—?”

Andrew gripped his arms, making Varian turn back to him. “Trust me, making them forget is the only way to accomplish our goals.” he lowered his head and voice, “The only way to fix what you’ve done.”

Varian bit his lip, glancing between them. [add internal monologue]

“But I…”

Andrew leaned back and folded his arms. “You don’t want to go back to prison, do you?”

“No! no! I just—!”

“Good.” Andrew began walking away with the other Saporians. Varian was about to follow them, when the king and queen stirred.

The alchemist froze, his eyes ticking up to the them, then to the Saporians, who were now all hidden in the wings, safe from view.

“Tell them you’re their most trusted advisor!” Clementine shout-whispered. The other Saporian’s sniggered like schoolchildren.

Varian turned again to the king and queen, who were opening their eyes.

He didn’t want to do this. It wasn’t his fault. [add more]

“Who…are you?” Frederic’s voice was distant.

Varian looked up at them, his eyes softening. They didn’t remember who he was. That had its benefits, to be sure. Still, he couldn’t help but feel bad, seeing his king and queen, Rapunzel’s parents, like this, so helpless. He cleared his throat.

“I-I’m Varian…your majesty.” He stepped closer. “You…really don’t remember me?”

He stirred, as if trying to dislodged the memory, then stilled. “I’m afraid not, young man.”

“‘Your most trusted advisor!’” Andrew mouthed.

The alchemist sighed. “I-I’m your most trusted advisor.”

Frederic stirred again, as if in a trance. “Yes…Varian…my most trusted…advisor…”

OPTION 2:

“Are you sure you can erase their memories?” Varian breathed.

The alchemist stared from the wing at the king and queen on their thrones, his heart hammering in his chest. What if they saw them? What if the spell didn’t work? What if they stopped them? Then their whole operation was over, he’d get thrown back in jail…

There was currently a long line of people preparing to make their requests to the king. If they failed, their whole plan fall apart, and everyone would see it crumble.

“Don’t tell me your wussing out on us now,” Andrew groaned.

“No, no! I’m just…I’m a scientist, its only natural that I’m skeptical.”

“You told me you were going to analyze that mineral. Our whole plan is kinda based on it.”

“Yeah but still, erasing people’s memories…”

“Relax, science boy,” Clementine stepped in front of him, walking backwards, “let ol’ [a name for her wand] here do the talking.”

She walked backwards into the throne room, then turned and marched straight up to the king and queen. Andrew put his hand over Varian’s mouth to keep him quiet, and against the wall.

Frederic looked perplexed by this visitor, and slightly affronted. “Excuse me, mam,” Frederic cleared his throat, “But I’m afraid you’re going to have to wait in line like the rest of these good people.”

“Oh, I don’t think so. No, you’ll be glad I didn’t wait, after you hear what I have to say.” She pulled out her wand.

“…What you have to say may be very pressing,” his eyes darted from her face to the wand, “but these good people have been waiting for a very long time, and have equally important requests. You must honor their—”

She rolled her eyes and flicked the wand. The gem at the base started to vibrate, pink smoke swirling in the air—the crowd was starting to mumble with unease, shout in warning and fear—then there was a flash of pink light.

Varian resisted against Andrew’s grip to get a better look at what was going on.

The king and queen blinked, and collapsed in their chairs. The crowd started to scream and run around through the haze, run for the doors.

Andrew let go of Varian and walked out into the room.

“People of Corona!” he bellowed, and people quieted. His cronies moved from the wings to support him. “There’s been a new edict! From now on this land shall be called New Saporia!” They all raised their weapons. “You will henceforth obey our orders!” [add more]

The screaming restarted, this time peppered with spitting and protest. [add more]

Varian looked at Andrew.

He wasn’t sure he wanted to do this anymore. [add more]

The king and queen stirred, then opened their eyes.

“Wh-What’s going on?” Frederic looked around, horrorstruck at all the screaming people. “What is this place? Where am I?” he paused blinked again, “Who am I?”

“Your majesties,” Clementine said with a certain mocking air, bowing low, “I am afraid to say you have suffered a recent incident that has cost you your memories.

“Nevertheless, Clementine here will explain everything. You are the king and queen of a quaint little kingdom called New Saporia. We are here to […]. The people of your kingdom are […] and we must ask you to stop all […] until we can get enough […]. These people just […]”

[“Funny, you’d think I’d remember ruling a kingdom,” Frederic chuckled at his wife.

Andrew stepped forward, putting his arm around Clementine. “Ehh, the memory can do funny things sometimes. Anyways], we are here to […]. Your kingdom [something about the minerals—you need to issue an order]. Your most trusted advisor...” he paused, glancing at Varian. When Varian didn’t come out he cleared his throat, loudly and fakely. “I said,” he enunciated like he was speaking to a five-year-old, “your most trusted advisor.”

Varian stepped back, a shadow coming across his face, his breath tempered.

He didn’t want to go out there. Yeah, he just had that epiphany. He didn’t want to do this. This wasn’t right. They shouldn’t—

Kai walked up and pulled him, stumbling into the room.

When he regained his balance he found said room was staring at him.

Some people were silently staring, others started to mumble to each other: “Isn’t that Varian?” “Yeah, the kid who kidnapped the queen!” “He’s a traitor!” [add more]

“R-Right!” he tried to ignore their mutterings and pushed his too-long hair out of his eyes, “Yes! I’m Varian, y-your majesties.” He bowed. “And… You see the people of Corona have been […] and […].”

“Your majesties,” he said darkly. “That’s right. My name is Varian, and I’m […]”

OPTION 3:

“Are you sure you can erase their memories?” Varian breathed.

The alchemist stared at the king and queen on their thrones from the wing, his heart hammering in his chest.

“Don’t tell me your chickening out on us now,” Andrew groaned.

“No, no! It’s just—I’m a man of science…I-I’m skeptical by nature.” Varian bit his lip.

“You told me you were gonna analyze that mineral.” He folded his arms over his chest, “We kinda based our whole plan on it, you know.”

“Yeah, I know, I know, but still, erasing people’s memories…”

“Relax alchemy boy,” Clementine stepped in front of him, walking backwards, “let ol’ [a name for her wand]—” apparently that was her name for her wand…and not a good one—“here do the talking.��

She walked backwards into the throne room, then turned and marched straight up to the king and queen, holding the wand behind her back.

Frederic offered a very confused look, considering he didn’t recognize her, but spoke kindly all the same, “Excuse me, mam,” he cleared his throat, “But the time to make your requests has passed…I’m afraid you’re going to have to wait until tomorrow to—”

“Oh, I don’t think there’ll be any need for waiting after you hear what I have to say.”

He looked indignant at the fact that she had just interrupted him, but continued in the same genial tone, if a little sterner. “…I understand what you have to say may be very important, but you must—”

Clementine flourished out her wand, and the gem at the bottom of the wand vibrated, pink sparks flying off of it, pink smoke circling it ominously.

Varian stretched to get a better look.

“What’s going on?!” Frederic barked from the haze.

Its power burst across the room in a sphere. Varian shut his eyes against the blast, before looking up at Andrew, who gave him a smug, what-did-I-tell-you? look.

When he turned back, Clementine had seemingly materialized back in the wing. “You’re up, kid.”

“Wh-Me? Why me?”

“You’re the one who wanted to erase their memories aren’t you?” Andrew sneered.

“Yeah, I did but—”

“Then what are you waiting for?” Andrew shoved Varian into the room.

He stared incredulously at him from the room. “How do we know it even worked?”

Andrew made a go on motion.

As the pink mist cleared, the king and queen stirred, their brows furrowed, and opened their eyes.

They looked around the room, confusion lining their gazes.

“Wh-What’s going on?” Frederic looked around. “What is this place? Where am I?” he paused, blinked, “Who am I?”

Varian’s eyes widened.

So it had worked, after all. They weren’t crazy. That was…unexpected.

He’d love to figure out how it worked, but that was a question for later.

He looked up at the king and queen, whose eyes were unknowing and as they fell upon him.

They no longer knew who he was, or what he did, the fact that he had kidnapped the queen and tried to kill their daughter, nor that they had put him in prison for it all.

….or who they were, for that matter.

“Excuse me, young man, could you tell us what’s going on?” Frederic looked from him to the room, to his wife.

They weren’t going to throw him back in that dungeon. They weren’t going to scold him, or else try to save his soul. They didn’t even suspect something sinister was going on. It was freeing; he was untouchable. As long as the king and queen didn’t know who he was, no one else could throw him back in jail, right? He could start anew…

This was unsettling. Seeing his king and queen, no, Rapunzel’s parents like this made him feel guilty. Wasn’t he just committing more treason? A crime for a crime. They always say two wrongs don’t make a right. Even without taking the treason into account, he had already hurt these people enough a year previously. Ripping them apart just to put his own family back together. It didn’t have to be this way…did it?

Varian cleared his throat. “Your majesties. I’m afraid you’ve suffered a recent incident which has cost you your memories,” he walked in front of the throne. “You are King Frederic and Queen Arianna of—”

—Andrew waved vigorously at him to get his attention, and pointed emphatically at the medallion on his chest bearing the Saporian logo. Varian sighed.

—“New Saporia.

“My name is Varian and I am…your most trusted advisor.” He paused for a moment. They didn’t even question it. He continued, “You rule with kindness and fairness, and treat every citizen with respect and dignity.” He bit his lip and looked away, thinking of his own punishment, his own unkindness. “But you see, the people…they too are in dire straights. I think I may have found a mineral which can save your people, and return you your memories. I just need to analyze it. It resides in […] once I do analyze it I suggest that you stop all [trade/commerce/…] and gather/call everyone to mine it, until we have enough to solve the situation.” [this might change a lot]

The king looked at the queen, and for a second Varian feared they were only playing along until now, that he’d bellow for the guards to grab him and to send him back to prison.

“If it’s for the good of the people…I suppose I will…make a decree! That’s what kings do, right? I will make a decree right away.”

“…Thank you,” Varian bowed, folding his arms and walking back.

On his way back to the wing, memories floated up, pieced themselves together, and pierced through his brain.

“What?How?! How can I trust anything when my own father just lied to the king’s face!”

Varian grimaced at the memory.

What would Quirin think of him now? Varian had been appalled to know his own father would lie to the king back then…but what would Quirin think if he knew what Varian had done to the king? Last year, and now? Even if he’d lie—(which Varian had come to understand wasn’t actually a lie, but a code)—Quirin would never do anything like this. He’d never use science and magic on his king and queen just to get what he wanted. He’d never release monsters and automatons on the citizens. No, he’d help people. He’d admit where he was wrong and…He wouldn’t run. He’d try to fix what he’d broken…or better yet not break it in the first place.

“A little stale on the delivery but I give you a solid five.” Clementine commented as he returned.

“I give him ten outta ten” Kai said with his hands over his heart, looking up with tears in his eyes, “His performance was from the heart.”

“That all the proof you needed?” Andrew demanded, folding his arms. “You said you could synthesize the memory formula into a serum.”

“Yeah, I did, but…” Varian looked away.

Andrew folded his arms. “…What?”

“Well…in order to know what exactly we’re dealing with, and to actually make the serum…I kinda need my lab equipment.”

“They don’t have lab equipment here?”

“…Not unless you count cooking pans and […]”

Andrew groaned. “So we need to go all the way to your house in the boonies just to grab a couple of your stupid little science tools?”

Varian winced. “…Yees?” He paused. “I can go by myself—”

“I’m no [something that’s not a job—it’s basically “I’m no doctor” but he’s making up a word] but I don’t think someone of your…uhh…stature can carry a whole serum’s worth of lab equipment all the way from your house to the castle. I’ll go get a horse.” He waved him off, “Clementine, you keep an eye on the king and queen, fill them in on anything else they need to know, and make sure they don’t wander off.”

“With pleasure!” she said in a way that made Varian not want to hear the list of things she found pleasurable.

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