#anyway I love them they're fucking wack and one of my most complicated ships

[dapper-shipping-forever]

Technically all my B.SD s/is are shipped with all my f/os from that series but I am maybe particularly obsessed with my mafia ! S/i and Dazai

They were once inseparably close and trusted each other more than anything, sometimes more than they trusted themselves. They loved each other quietly, a love that was something unformed but had such potential to take shape into romance. Then their group was destroyed. Dazai left her alone without any word of farewell or see you again, and she never quiet closed that gaping scar he left. She's a mess, though she eventually makes a new friend in chuuya and gets better, anyone can see she's not the same after her three closest friends all left; one torn away, one telling her directly to her to never contact him, and one simply slipping into the night. Her ability to trust and express herself was tainted. She embraced the shadows she controlled and slipped into them. Dazai never forgot her, either. He's an expert with masks, but as he sought to change himself and erase who he was before, he could never forget the girl he'd abandoned. And he knew he'd not just left her, but abandoned her, but he hadn't known what else to do. She couldn't follow him, and he couldn't face her. Feelings fester and twist for them both. Then it's years before they see each other again, at the meeting between the port mafia and the armed detective agency. She looks at him with such a chill. It's all he can do to look at her with his usual care free attitude, but there's an undeniable hardening in his eyes. When they finally talk alone after, years of something that's unspoken hangs heavy above them. When she turns away to leave emotion takes him and its the first time in the series he's looked entirely vulnerable as he calls out to her to wait and reaches for her wrist, but she literally vanishes back into the shadows just before he's able to grasp her hand. Their love for l each other stays unspoken and full of tension and twisting, quietly roiling, not unlike a dark sea, emotions, just ready to be admitted. It takes a long time for them to rebuild a sliver of what they'd had before, but it's not entirely the l same. It's something somewhat similar, but it's new. And as they both confront each other and themselves to grow and change, it becomes much more.

#I am dramatic lol #I wrote a thing a while ago about their first time speaking again #also I like to parallel him not reaching her hand after their first time seeing each other again #to something a lot later after theyve finally mellowed out and can speak somewhat normally with each other again #she comes to his house to talk #and they have a long #quiet concersation #about each other #and their feelings on what theyve both done to the other #she goes to leave after it #and he reaches and this time grabs her wrist #and he vows then and there that when theyre no longer on opposing sides that he wants to never be without her again and asks her to stay at #his side #and she agrees #and she leaves into shadows after he realeses her #but he has the most genuine soft smile now #anyway I love them they're fucking wack and one of my most complicated ships #dapper inserts: mafia #I want to write that other scene I described also