#and you know...maybe those two aren't her most poetic lyrics but they sure are accurate

[septembersghost]

your fake ass king said it, he knows dw was a piece of shit who had nothing to offer the world. dw knew it himself, you were all too stupid to listen to him when he said it every few so episodes a season. he had no purpose and you all really thought you did something when you defended him and thought he should live. if even ja can finally admit that he was a worthless husk of a person, then it's time for all of you to face it too. he was NOTHING wout the better ppl around him and a burden to all

preface: 💖✨ friends, mutuals, and followers, I adore and treasure you and am very sorry for this post ✨💖

I almost didn’t publish this, but then I thought - what’s the preferable option here, delete it, and let you believe it injured me enough to hide from it, or feed your rampant derangement [derogatory] by answering it? (the irony of my kindhearted anon the other day saying they hoped no one had been mean to me makes this even more suspect, were you chilling in the corner, waiting and hoping for something to pounce with, or is this just random bitterness overflowing? I would like to analyze you).

may I please point out that this is not what he said, it's like one of them speaks and then it becomes a game of telephone, and what is eventually concluded is not what was originally stated. I’m not going to argue with you further because reading this, I am aware that your particular form of hatefulness is not going to be combated or changed by me countering it with canonical facts or emotionally eloquent rebuttal. I don’t know who you think you’re defending when the “better people around him” loved him immeasurably. I could tell you that this is comically reductive, unimaginative, black and white thinking utterly lacking in depth, nuance, or insight, but this is what you believe, and it is your choice to live in your own constructed ugly hellscape, so enjoy rolling around in the muck if you must.

what I will say is that this behavior is vile and immature, if not altogether disturbing, and as someone who does not participate in quite a bit of the culture of this fandom (this is a TINY blog, do you think you’re going to get attention by acting like a shrieking harpy? ma’am - or sir, or whatever your preferred title, I don’t know your life - I have NO reach, there are people who have thousands of followers and it would be odious of you to bother them, but why you chose insignificant little me is truly baffling. put on a mask, and take a walk around the block), nor have I ever felt the need to send anonymous hate mail, and I am QUITE certain you know better than this, but have seen the fact that I...I don’t know? love a character? genuinely grieve him? openly write thoughts and my own (totally subjective! it’s my mind and my blog!) perspective on the metaphors in the text because it interests me and I care enough to be invested in that? struggle with physical and mental health conditions? and decided I was a cool target at whom to direct your ire. the thing is, as hurt as I have been, you have absolutely no power to harm me, because you are like one pesky little gnat in the midst of a dense forest. I have bigger things to deal with, one swat and you’re out.

I’ve only been back here for a few months, and I’ve had interactions with old friends and new that I will cherish. I never had drama until you decided to come here with a shockingly bad take (I never had drama on my old blog that I inhabited happily for many years because I had anon turned off, but I have it open here to allow people to talk to me without anxiety, if they want to! you’re not going to get me to close it, so harassing me does not give you an edge there). I’m probably not going to be here much longer, I’m amazed every day that I’m still around with internet access and made it to March. that’s not the fandom, that’s my life and the fact that I’m on constantly borrowed time. so you can send me whatever, but it doesn’t make a difference. you can’t chase me off of Tumblr, you can’t take him away from me (it’s WAY too late for that. learn to time travel, and if after you’ve accomplished that incredible, groundbreaking feat, you’re still this pressed, then go back to that September night and tell me not to watch the pilot). at some point you can gloat and cackle in my absence, I really don’t care. if my loving a/these character(s) and a story this much bothers you, then watch me rub my delicate, damnable little hands all over everything.

I wish I could appeal to your humanity or sense of decency in telling you that describing someone (real or fictional) in the terms you’ve used here is unconscionably damaging and cruel, and no one who lives with trauma or depression or suicidality (or all of the above) deserves to be told they’re worthless or a burden, but your lack of empathy tells me that, too, would have no marked effect. You'll never be a first-class human being until you've learned to have some regard for human frailty.

I may live with pain and ideation and a thousand things you’ll never comprehend, but I still have compassion and a beating, caring heart. try it out sometime, you might start to find some actual joy in the world, instead of whatever hollow, miserable mess this is.

#anon idiocy #ps: if it's sam you think you're doing this for please ruminate DEEPLY on the fact that he would not hesitate to punch you in the face :) #pps: if it's cas you think you're doing this for please consider the fact that he smote people for less? :) this is not a good look #touch some grass #but make sure to get back to your cave before the sun comes up and you turn into stone #i don't recommend playing with sweet animals bc you seem to have psychopathic tendencies and i care about animals #but like...do something constructive #i get that you REALLY think you have something on me here #but you're just wildly misreading text and commentary #it's not my job to fix that for you #as tswift once said: like can you just not? #she also said: the haters gonna hate hate hate hate hate #and you know...maybe those two aren't her most poetic lyrics but they sure are accurate