#and she'd sell me a pop corn

[vamprisms]

hate when streaming services are like.... you can now pay cinema prices to watch new releases at home! not to show my age but if i am watching it on my tv set then it's free??? you think you're an equal to big picturehouse? with no big screen? no big pop corn? you want to charge cinema price to show me a movey in my own house? Honour demands i kill you btw

#i miss her (video store) every fucking day she wouldn't have dreamt of charging so much to show me a movey in my own house #and she'd sell me a pop corn

[wh-da-backup]

I just gathered up a pile of post-its and other bits of paper on my floor. on these papers are about a year's worth of lyric scraps and random lines. some are used in songs, some appear more than once. some were not on paper and i typed them on my phone instead. some are based on me and some are totally in character. some are cool sounding and some are stupid and cheesy. i am consolidating them here. at this point, most have dates on them. the order will be roughly most recent to oldest, starting with late 2011- early 2012 (present) and going back to whenever i uploaded the last one. here we go.

3/21 your hand will hold mine but your voice will not requite me why does it feel like you always fight me

4/? (mid april) you want to drown in soda pop fame you'll drink up the bubbles and think it's champagne while the high fructose corn syrup seeps in your brain eats away at your mind in sweet processed bliss and you want to die this way tangled in fame's kiss

2/27 fit in, don't let 'em see you care lend your conscience, lend your hair

cut and dye cut-and-dry got new shoes i hope you're gonna keep 'em tied

straight face cheap lace know your poses know your -- place!

2/28 [first line goes here- i never wrote one] in these luminescent headlights i find you prettier than moonlight the rearview mirrors are cameras whose feeds all show up on the dashboard hey man we need a dash of something 'cause we're so bored… sobered…

nothing is a let out nothing is a let out nothing is a let out oh-oh…

/no date/ just movie kisses those hollow-woods talk with their teeth

1/14 you like to send me vicarious travel and i long for closer than company the sound of your voice running rings round the sun

2/26 i owe you a lot for all the music i owe you a lot for the times i fought you i owe you the fact that i wasn't alone why are you still here? what have i done?

3/5 i wanna rip you out of my system count all the chances- you missed 'em giving me emotions i got the orders, hate the mission

it seems you never learn it seems you never learn

burn!

your words burn me out. get off my mouth.

1/17 if you got a color we demand a million shades drip-wax seals and caustic marinades in the midst of politics and people screaming poetry rises without a meaning

3/20 you think the things i do the talking feels like new you listen when i ask you to

safety pin my shadow to your arms so i can go there seal away these secrets in a box no one has to know where

3/20 I've been known for shooting mirrors no one wants to hold my fingers

all your pretty dresses won't make me a little lady i'm a bad motherfcker I'M A GUNPOWDER BABY

1/22 she saw him shortly after he got hurt warnings and dirt no shame morning advances dirt morning advances taking chances seems profane

3/17 you're looking for and like me

3/17 I thought that i was gone from you forever and you as part of me were all but severed i was sad that we were not together but then we traveled time and were recovered

again i notice all those things 22s and hearing trains it's great to have you back again

2/9 shut your mouth story and tell your brain waves they cannot come and live in my ears

there's no place there is no time there's no place for you place for you here

2/26 open wide shy outside Jeck'll hide from the world

2/21 and i will pray for every last one of you

1/25 this is a 911 to everyone this thing has got to stop [this monster's got to stop]

I could be the warm lightning to your storm

1/28 dressed to the nines for the tens and elevens you're rich as hell cause you spent all your heaven

1/30-31 daily dose of stupid juice look who made the tv noose sell yourself and sign the truce where's your right to choose?

1/27 now she withers and wishes she'd known she'd have to die to free her bones

12/29 wordless and worthless

3/9 pester rain won't go won't leave me alone and i can hear the water shaking in my ears i can see the water shaking in my eyes i can taste the water shaking in my mouth i can feel the water shaking in my blood going to quench dry bones the water the water

3/10 hold my veins away from me hold my veins against me stain of restrain as i strain to restrain as i strain to contain

3/10 under all the pressure of everything you know the pressure is relieved now feels like you let me go

under the impression you're mine to throw around i only wanted to hold you and you let me down

3/10 smarter made me shrug and safer made me prone and older made me smug and smug made me alone

3/17 the one i heard was only words found out you lied and since then i take back my smiles you lying child the one i kissed does not exist

3/7 recurrences of my old self wolf as i were as soon as i smelled spring as soon as i smelled spring

i am not the same loon nor are you the old you and nothing that i thought was true.

2/6 raze the curtain for the final bow

2/2 bleeding and bleeding on knives of the mind

2/10 a kiss to shut the door for good a kiss that this will never be

thoughts in the dark holding knives to my mind

2/10 hole in my jeans on the thigh from my thumb it'd be the latest fashion if it weren't the only one

and i cry out to the sellouts

cause the setters know best trendsetters know best

wait my heart out cardboard cutout

transcending their best, la mode just waiting for their suns to set

and explode

1/15 what i said was in the past is still around

/no date- probably late 2011/ -losing daylight and my mind -catch my breath and a glimpse of the sun -out of bed and time -waiting tables and patiently -change of season and clothes

1/31 a day so fine caught myself standing in line it was my turn i took it for the worse i meant it

the means that bring the ends it all depends on what you're looking at

/no date- based on an older line/ this is not the place where you were born this is not the calm before the storm this is not a riot, this is the norm

it's a big world, you'll grow into it

12/25 we missed half the 90s before we were born we missed half the 90s when we were alive we are the babies who live in the past we are the babies of nineteen-nine-five

winter's too cold but i'm plenty warm and dying for more trip on my tongue kissing nineteen-nine-four

love and bleach and fire and gasoline and screams and other things of which we used to sing

i wish too much can't find… can't find my mind

i'm a jaded old fuck and i wish i looked at music the same

2/25 smile for the camera shot in the head develop the pictures lookin good good as dead

1/27 head will roll to the soles in control cold races to places, mistaken plastic sarcastic bashing the masses, tactics TV static no one knows how tragic no one knows how tragic

you must be miss taken sorry, my mistake

try to make amends sever what offends

1/2 we are equal in these times we are equal in these crimes we are equal draw no lines we are equal in our brine

what's in yours is what's in mine

head first in the media just another stolen face just another stolen place

swallowing your poison whole

just another slowin' pace

we're krill in the baleen of fame

chew and swallow stolen shame

1/1 i'm so fuckin bored and lazy my stuff is all over the floor but maybe i could clear a place where we'd lie side by side and waste a couple days lost in vinyl haze no "their"s no "they"s

1/2 a heart you never asked for in your hands and what that heart demands

1/2 fuck you calculater piss off smell u later

/no date/ dodging in and out of traffic and each other's lives

/no date- 2011/ none of this is real you're just a lie i tell myself

12/26 I said never mind never mind never mind said whatever you do don't mind

5/26/11 kick it for sleeping

i like the crunch i'm chewing up my mouth

prostrate ourselves to RUMORS

11/26 [not typing the accents cause i'm lazy] passe simple l'enfance etait simple nous n'avions pas une chance taisez-vous tout a coup vos reves perdent leur romance hey hey cyclones lie in the eyes of the water cyclones lie in the eyes of the water cyclones lie in the eyes of the water woah, woah, woah

read past simple childhood was simple we never had a chance behave yourself and all of a sudden your dreams lose their romance hey hey les cyclones restent dans les yeux de l'eau les cyclones restent dans les yeux de l'eau les cyclones restent dans les yeux de l'eau whoa, whoa, whoa

11/20-21-22? there was a time, young ones, when life was a dream-sky, supple and simple, childhood was cake

we knew we had playthings and daydreams for chasing but not that they'd rot into maggot-meat, quickly replaced

flicking bombs at Mother Riot seeded boom in Riot's womb started naming generations started taking too much room

12/11 let's get famous and die in the blinding lights

we'll say he was our pretty little friend we'll wait until he's dead and gone and get to know him them

/no date- summer/ suffocated hockey sister in a spray can

/no date/ i only feel like myself when i'm by myself i feel i only like myself when i'm with someone else

11/15 bubble child, bubble child inside her shell her mind runs wild walls of concrete, writing in the grout she sees mirrors but doesn't see out

i let no one in i let no one in i let no one in staring at my skin, myopia [tearing through my skin, myopia]

/no date/ are you sure you love the ones who are laughing at your pain you are a chain and they will break you down you are a flame and they will burn you out you oughta change or else they'll push until you cave you are so brave

you're human in his arms but are you human in his head

you're human in his arms is it humid in his head

/no date 2011/ swallow your doubt i hope you choke close but no cigar, you shouldn't smoke watch your step, too close you'll go blind you should learn to read between the lines

/no date summer 2011/ just picked a scab out of my ear i think it's somewhere in my hair and then i remembered why the fuck should i care

i kinda really have to pee i perform my functions bodily they still go on even if no one cares about me

terrestrial boredom

/no date/ the emptiness is draining like all the light you're wasting you're drooling and complaining there's no spark

china cracks in broken plates like watching milk evaporate in the dark

/no date/ hello it's nice to meet you i'm hungry but i think i'l feed you blind and i would like to lead you don't forget the ones who freed you (someday they just might need you)

12/29 this is the dress i wore today it doesn't smell like you and its seams so black and blue and i run the scizzors through and the scentless dress is ruined

/no date summer 2011/ you were a child all rosy and pink had screwed ideas of how things work a library of libel just waiting to stink you developed nervous quirks all grown up and out of work i'll stab you in the gut you jerk

/no date summer 2011/ the glue is busy fixing sneakers you can wear your heart on your sleeve but not your feet

i like that thing adorning you i would like to wear one too

11/27 trust your eyes to censor mirrors trust the mind to make you care trust the others in their wisdom trust your own dead stare

11/28 i'm just your typical whiny-ass teen with a big fat vain ego but no self-esteem i can play a few chords i get pissed when i'm bored deep down all i want is to be adored i'm lazy high school sucks rule #1, don't give a

/no date these are almost all 2011/ cry me into the sea of dancing bodies

crowd energy

/no date/ count your possessions counter obsession

you're in over your sick head

/no date/ DRIVE YOUR SHOES

/no date/ i don't have your dead ghost heart why do you make things feel like it

you promised me love is it lost in the mail?

blue eyes you could fall in love with

/no date/ you seem to know the stories behind these things

/no date/ i know you don't care for me that i'm just her effigy i know someday you'll see you miss your chance with everyone

you always tell me all your dreams you love like i'm projector screens the naked canvas for your slide machine

/no date spring 2011/ factories bottline purified air while spewing their smoke to the sky

/no date/ your mind doesn't rule very well and your body rebels

/no date/ if you want to free the freed from freedom turn up the TV proceeding to feed 'em

i've been writing love songs behind your back

/no date/ you remember things were so much better in the decade before you were born

i wouldn't make my world so loud if i didn't have so much to drown out of my system

you and me forever in our infamy

/no date/ love feeds on milk and valentine candy she feeds on [flowers/roses/petals] and an artist's [starving/beating/bleeding] heart

quick and painless stolen stainless

/no date march 2011/ a cloud floats high above the ground someday we will shoot it down

i'll probably end up with someone like you

/no date summer 2011/ i'll take your hand i'll run you dry i'll whisper to you whisper baby "don't you love the lie?"

/no date/ behaviour and instinct naked on the inside

/no date spring 2011/ you're my perfect you're my pretty

someday this will speak to you

i want you to myself

FUCK EVERYTHING TAKE ME BACK TO THERAPY

oops

/no date summer 2011/ you'll censor her thorns so her love doesn't hurt this girl is a flower she'll die without dirt

it's war on the papers the movers and shakers

/no date/ you only love me in your dreams

/no date/ dead laughter tele

/no date/ i was an idiot child bent on chasing cliches

and now i have no answers for the questions you raise

and the lies you shake

off the wall- phone call

/no date/ sometimes i feel like old gum on the sidewalk- used up and no longer wanted

i wanna be different just like everyone else

she was born into royalty out of heaven in a hole

/no date/ who knows where they begin and end always loved you as a friend

/no date/ collective subconsious a black-and-white photograph we looked at the flag and we all saw red

/no date/ i wish we had our whole lives to do this, but we don't. we have rationed hours in the afternoon and we need to hurry or else we'll never get it done in time.

/no date march 2011/ i slept like it was summer and i dreamed [like/til] i was dead

i can't stand no knowing how the story ends it's true we'd make a good pair but we're even better friends i only love you cause i can't control my brain

i'm scared of spit and i'm a hypocrite and i hate you cause you're one too

/no date/ i wonder if i'm nauseous i really can't tell

deleterious, man I'm serious!

i'm intemperate

laughing off the awkward tension

can you tell what i'm thinking? oh please don't tell

/no date spring 2011/ you only go to places to say you've been

everyone's a freak

/no date/ teach us well for now, the year and if their money doesn't want him here he'll go away to live in mountains "daddy what's a water fountain?"

trickle, trickle hurrikeynesians

8/4-or-5/2011 31 hours today lumbar bumps and a glass of champagne time flies on a plane …time flies on a plane they tell you how much time remains

like the games we played as children where everything can be solved by building more guns

i may be loud but i'm no punk i just like safety pins and all sorts of useless junk

recline and don't mind

i'll see them all from first to lost

/no date/ are ya tuned

/no date/ i'd cry if i could

i know you can't take the stress i love you but i'm a mess

if this isn't real then where's your objection?

i slept through friday afternoon

/no date/ state of matter fusion fission fuck amusement fuck decision

/no date/ museum sleeper

/no date/ optic love

so close to here so unaware

would you like a kiss goodbye?

'Lyn believes in me

/no date/ sin of envy soaked in her fat cells

dull advantage

/no date/ i am made of flesh, you are made of zeroes and ones. is that true? [quote from cleverbot]

i held the computer as she shut down emitting a warmth for us to share

/no date/ beasts of change

11/1 you left without a word you had me for desert

11/2 last year wasted my december doting on my dear dissembler now i choose not to remember now i choose not to remember

/no date/ air thick with sparks

you'll fall in love with anyone as long as you have got no chance

i'm in love and you're a ghost

you think you're so mighty, might as well

i know it's not your fate to rot cause baby nothing's settled

queen of arcs and angles

out looking for birds will never get you very far just jack white's look-alike sitting in the woods with a guitar

/no date/ cuts and bruises [hearts and roses/dying muses] nothing left to run from

game-bored

indie-cision

fantasies of mind control and sex and drugs and rock and roll

/no date/ you're old enough to read a map depeche-toi and mind the gap be careful not to overlap with oncoming trains

you've got all night, you've got no right you've got a week i think you're old enought to keep that trigger finger on your lap you're screaming out your brain

it's-not-o-k

freedom for oil and dogs chewing tin foil it's painless at best spilling ice from a hole in my chest

you were right about me and i'm wearing a wire don't worry it'll all end well but i'll kill anyone you tell

my heart my head play dumb play dead

i want to be the girl who always sings in the hallway i want the apathy to curb my indecision

i want to speak and feel no remorse for speaking i want to be the girl with a dark secret

notice me

there are pills for everything there are pills for everything

/no date/ no soul, you're all just numbers digits on the counter culture 's hand

go against the grain but go against the same grain keep different names but have the same brain operate as you were trained

/no date/ circle in a square half

/no date/ i got struck by lightning walking home in the rain and i saw the future with my own brain i died young, but older than i thought but enough about me and all the things i bought

the government had total control and they were holding a funeral for rock n roll

/no date/ barb wire eyes piss-warm smile

/no date/ look at me your stare cold glare your pair o' lies real eyes

/no date/ my tongue my head play dumb play dead

lay down lay low my town my ghosts

/no date/ mirror mirror diamond ring you know we'll have our fun

i'll kiss you when i think i'm pretty, shoot you when i'm done

/no date/ i wanted to learn the ropes and be a big shot record producer

save me computer science just like you've saved and killed us all the human race got dumb i'll save my friends and then blast off to space i'm done

track 6 track 6 make me

/no date/ the taste of pennies on my tongue watching the future eat its young [i'm pretty sure my dad wrote at least the first line of that. the second one might have been mine i don't remember]

/no date/ [these are cool but i don't remember writing them] rats and stones you stroke my bones ice cream cone i drip alone

pray tell, what would you like to be, sir? a champion disgracer? a monkey deceaser?

embryonic scars welcome, my children

/no date/ leave me be, i'm no forgiver i will have these scars forever

this is not a riot, this is the norm

/no date/ i'm a hated figure but i have no regrets i'll melt all the glass in the television sets [my dad wrote the first line, i wrote the second one]

/no date/ you taught me that sometimes your children come home and you don't have to be madly in love with every album you own and you taught me that sometimes wounds heal without scars and you taught me not everyone travels in cars and dust doesn't have to gather on the shelves and sometimes we must remember to love ourselves in a world that's just bursting with personal hells

/no date/ just saw lightning but i don't hear rain

/no date/ a man who believes he can hide behind wealth he'll say there's no heaven he'll say there's no health

/no date/ i don't have to wonder because i know

/no date/ they tell you it takes brains to stay, it takes guts to drop out

it's never my turn is it

10/12 bare hands in the garden calling to his falcon sailing on his galleon til he fell off the horizon

11/9 deep down i fear it's getting cold and i just want another warm body to hold

get off my mouth

12/10 can i hold you and feel your lungs laugh?

burn diary notice the color your past in combustion

/no date fall 2011/ i'll do to you what you are to me

FOOD MAKES MOOD

ther's no stopping human nature tell that to the legislature

/no date/ were you sleepy on your wedding day? did you ever see it coming?

/no date/ apocalypse kiss think of situations but not yet not while there is consequence

9/26 "Headless Barb"

happy birthday, here's a Headless Barb dressed in her garbage manufactured garb teach the little girls to starve all dolls are beautiful some dolls are carved

wear a wire, Headless Barb tear my childhood leave your scars princesses have plastic parts live in pink houses and drive pink cars

be like her and end up dead got a hollow malleable head all her organs cannot fit never eats and never shits

/no date/ you held your tongue now spare me mine you [had/missed] your chance a lot of times I'll make the list another time

tall candles cry, burn down

i said something wrong, who hasn't?

somebody pissed in the gene pool

yesterday somebody drowned

/no date/ i can't fix it: myself

change the shit world

/no date/ i understand the things i say may come across as such cliches but i adore the way you walk even when you walk away

and i don't know how well you know me yet or if you'd even want me girl you got me in a quandry i'm in love

/no date august 2011/ i'll tell you when it's time to dance i'l be your clock with swallowed hands

/no date/ haven't picked it up since but i got real close i got breakfast cereal brains and my tongue is toast i'm all mixed up the clear is coast are you gonna leave me?

10:02 i'll call you in 20 minutes but by then i'll be pissed again anger's my bad habit

/no date/ [not a lyric but it's a thought i wrote down] That glorious moment when you've been staring into space, paused, searching for the right word, and suddenly, it appears, snatched out of the air, and clicks into place like a puzzle piece.

/no date/ always real polite to strangers i act shitty toward my friends soft embryo of an idea i ate all my brainchildren

/no date/ burping shirt

/no date summer 2011/ how's your new plaything? are you bored with her yet? she believes in you this time how soon we forget is she after your money? are you after her debt? would you cut her some slack? you think you're a tinker and you're turning a key in her back

you want a diamond you want it rough it's always the same and it's never enough

/no date/ it hurts so that i won't fuck up again but now the pain comes even when i've done nothing wrong

i'd never try to take another's place i'll leave you alone just get out of my face a smile is ugly and so i am, your grace

/no date summer 2011/ i look better hiding in my clothes where no one goes no one knows no one cares wear and tear no one dares stop and stare no one

/no date/ i'm falling down the stairs

/no date/ [prose thingy] you can't demand the respect they'd give an adult if you're going to overreact and throw a tantrum like a 5 year old child you can't be arrogant and condescending and expect them to like you. let me tell you something, princess. you live in the real world with real people, not the world in your sick head. and someday there will be a situation you can't sweet-talk your way out of, and reality will hit you like a ton of bricks to the balls.

11/17 elle adore danser mais pas quand on regarde

/no date/ [prose thingy kinda goes with the other one] you won't always have a system of sugar coated rules to protect you, and despite what you'd like to think, you're not that great at lying to cover your tracks. you don't have perfect control of yourself, and denying your flaws doesn't make them disappear.

/no date/ i didn't let it go

it could mean something

i love you when you're not around can't stand you when you are

you won't love me but you'll stroke my fingernails

planes flying over my house then yours we feel too safe at this day in age

falling for someone you think that you choose? i tried so hard not to

can i ask you something unrelated?

it spreads like dandelions on fire and i am last to know

dance with me in my living room

hope you enjoyed that, cause i'll overthink it and i might not wake

i can't picture anyone with you like i can't picture anyone with me

adding years to her collection isn't this enough? she asks

you are a replyless fool

yes i'd hold you in my arms yes i'd kiss that stupid face i'd swear you to secrecy anyday i'm not desperate, fact i hate the taste

/no date/ spent you on a conversation hey hey they wait you out you're the king of sere-nation hey hey they wait me out

we listen for planes and trains in the dark

i sit in my ball pit basement she's in love with the world

can i sleep now?

got a mind full of cities and 600 friends

replace the other muses that were living in my head one of them is dead to me the other one's (just) dead

11/11/11 start off my day with a massive blood sugar spike…

enough with the sadistic shreiking do you enjoy inflicting pain on other people's ears? does it make you happy? there are other human beings here

…I hope a walrus crushes you :3

a song i wrote on notebook paper 2/24

"Don't Know Me"

in your mind you think that it would do no harm to make me dress up just to wear on your arm weeks and months of false-alarm demands and shaking hands

you don't know me at all you don't know me at all you don't know me at all you don't know me at all

and i don't know you

cellphone bruise and razor glint a year ago you told me i can' take a hint- ha! you're the one who doesn't get it -forget it

you don't know me at all you don't know me at all you don't know me at all you don't know me at all

and i don't know you

[guitar solo or something]

you don't know me at all you don't know me at all you don't know me at all you don't know me at all

and i don't know you