#and now today i've covered greens and shiny neutrals which were the last major gaps

[pastafossa]

SO. Let's do a GOOD NEWS thing regarding the fiberglass. With Ulta's Black Friday sale, AND mom and sis quietly using my rewards card when shopping to build up my points, I got two new palettes in the mail. These will FINALLY fill in the last major gap in my replacement eyeshadow collection, one I've rebuilt a bit with help from friends.

I love makeup, ok? Specifically eye makeup. I love doing bright colors, seasonal looks, movie colors, tv show colors, holiday looks, etc. It's become a thing for me, because I was very depressed and lonely as a teen and and tried very hard to fit the Good Christian Girl mold at church to make friends, which meant very low key makeup and conservative colors in the area I lived. But then I started to make fandom friends online, went to cons with them, and slowly became both more confident and more comfortable being me because they helped show me that Real Me was actually a perfectly likeable person, bright colors and all. Which means shiny sunglasses. Bright colors! Shirts with fandom things, and cool eyeshadow to match! Over the years I picked up a ton of it - collector's editions, gifts, sales on palettes too pricey to buy otherwise. I had maybe 50 individual colors and 20 or so palletes that covered the entire spectrum of the rainbow.

And I lost all of it in a single day to fiberglass.

If I hadn't had some of my basic makeup and two older palettes still packed away in my zipped up backpack , I'd literally have been forced to start back at square one. As it was, I was at... square three, maybe. I'm still not all the way there - it'll take years to build it all back up fully and a lot of those palettes were irreplaceable. But I've got all that I need to feel like me again, and I think that's what counts.

#the continuing saga of recovering from fiberglass dust #i lost so much makeup ya'll #which felt like losing years of ME #all those bright happy colors #these bits of joy that i once hadn't allowed myself #these outward reflections of who i was inside #years of learning to love real me #and friends going 'we see the real you and you are bright and happy' #'and here are some bright colors that made me think of you' #i think you can understand why suddenly having to take ALL of that and throw it into a garbage bag #knowing it would be taken to the dump #kinda fucked me up for a while #i know logically the real bright happy me is not garbage but that thought still scratched around for a bit #but friends and fam saw what i lost and said 'challenge accepted' #one friend LITERALLY went through the picture I sent our group chat of all my ruined palettes #looked them all up and charted the colors #and then bought me a palette that covered the widest range of what i lost #i've got maybe 8 or 9 now thanks to friends #and now today i've covered greens and shiny neutrals which were the last major gaps #it feels like a huge win tbh