#and it's like a horrible way of thinking and i think ludger would be aware of that because he doesn't want to feel resentment for the party

[elympios]

in the ludger ending i think ludger either has a full depressive spiral the party need to actively pull him out of until he's functional enough to be ceo or he just puts all his energy into being ceo of spirius and ghosts the entire fucking party for it because if he has to see all of them living their lives while he's haunted by elle and julius' sacrifices he is going to lose it

#v #x2 #loneliest end #and it's like a horrible way of thinking and i think ludger would be aware of that because he doesn't want to feel resentment for the party #because all he knows about victor is that his desire to protect elle resulted in killing everyone else #and ludger tries to think about elle because if he thinks about julius he's going to think about the brief brief brief moment #where he thought he could just kill everyone instead of letting julius die #and he can't delude himself into some 'what if' solution where he can save both julius and elle #it's easier to believe julius. who told him to save elle. who clearly wanted them both happy #than it is to believe elle who wanted ludger safe and wanted him to meet prime elle #except ludger cannot face lara. he knows when elle was born and knows he has to meet lara soon but he just can't #maybe it will make him happy the way it did for victor. maybe they are more of the same. but right now he's just thinking it's not elle #his daughter will never be elle in the same way his partner is elle #and he'd just rather actively avoid anyone he knows than stay in contact and watch them tiptoe around him whenever he's there #(and of course because ludger is avoiding them they never quite get back into being friends...) #im sad now :( this fic is gonna suck