#and if they genuinely can't change this behavior then fine!! like they i wont go to you with my problems

[writterings]

procastinating at work but here's my philosophy for today: it's okay to hate a behavior in someone else but also understand that this behavior does not make them a bad person. like i HATE when i'm venting or talking about a serious problem i have and then the person i'm talking to starts trying to relate by talking about a similar experience they've had. like absolutely hate it. make me feel like the focus is being taken off me and it genuinely is in some ways, regardless of your intent. yeah, i understand that's your way of trying to comfort me -- but that's not the way i need or want to be comforted, and that's what matters in a situation where i'm coming to you to be helped.

and that's okay! like. no one is in the wrong here unless i have explicitly asked you to support me in a different way and you're intentionally refusing, or if i lash out at you when i could just disengage. it just means you're not a person i should go to for help when talking about my problems. we can still be friends, you and i can probably support each other in different ways, but we're just incompatible in this regard. and that's like....okay. it's okay to be incompatible with people.

#i need to stop going on instagram sooooo many hot takes on there piss me the fuck off #ok going on a rant here but like. #soooo many 'neurodivergent' posters on there are like 'neurotypicals suck bc they dont realize im being comforting when i talk abt myself #when they're upset!!!' and its like my friend i can understand your plight but like #1. this is an easily changable behavior #that tbh does not require much change on your part aside from just like. not talking. #2. the so-called neurotypicals in ur life are allowed to have boundaries and accomodations to their needs and ur currently not doing that #3. not every neurodivergent person does that. and some also hate it like the so called neurotypicals. #4. why are you prioritizing your emotions when a loved one comes to you for help or comfort. are u just a dick. #this has nothing to do with you being neurodivergent i think you're just self centered lol #like genuinely if you do this you are not a bad person. it's not a bad thing. i thinnk im just mad at the people who insist #that it's the only way they can ever try to comfort someone and they act like asking them to change this behavior is ableist #and if they genuinely can't change this behavior then fine!! like they i wont go to you with my problems #and that's also fine #but yeah anyways these tags are so different from the message of the post lol but anyways just needed to rant