#and he has like zero capacity for self reflection lmao and when he is self aware he just doesn't follow thru

[majimasleftasscheek]

hi I’m upset again

#oof ouchie oof #kiryu not dealing with shit again the sequel #part of me knows kiryu isn't trying to be malicious #but part of me knows that kiryu knew majima would never refuse him and any objection was just arbitrary bullshit #he's a pretty selfish guy in the sense that he thinks everyone is just okay with his decisions that override anyone else's opinion #and he has like zero capacity for self reflection lmao and when he is self aware he just doesn't follow thru #man talks about responsibility as if he knows what that means #yakuza #ryu ga gotoku #kiryu kazuma #majima goro #kazumaji #my art

[sporeblossom]

ok so. i might delete this so enjoy it while it's here. i just need to gush about how happy i am lmao.

alright. last summer i went to another town for pride. i was there for a week, and one day i was having a slow day, i didn't have any plans until the evening, and i decided to go down to the canal for a swim. the water was amazing, and i found a good spot to sit and enjoy the sun. and then a very handsome and kind looking young man sat down next to me. his towel and bag was there before i even picked my spot, so when he came back to his spot, i apologized because i thought I was in his spot, and he said that i hadn't been in the way at all. he sat down, and somehow we kept on chatting for a bit. that chatting became actual talking, and eventually we knew each others names, where we were from, etc. we talked about polyamory and really bonded over that topic. at one point he just looks at me and says: "i have a good idea. i think you and i should go to [this other place that's also a nude beach]. i fully prefer to swim naked, and i really liked talking to him, so i agreed. we walked in the sun and just enjoyed getting to know each other the entire way there. when we arrived, we took our clothes off while laughing and smiling shyly at each other. we swam around in the cool water together, and swam out into the middle of the canal. i don't remember what we said, but i remember slowly swimming closer and closer to each other, until we kissed each other. we smiled and tried to stay afloat and smiled again and blinked against the sun and its reflections in the water. we almost got ran over by a tourist boat that passed us by while we where completely entranced by each other. when we got back to shore, he said he had to hang back a bit because he couldn't get out of the water yet, and he winked at me. we spent the whole afternoon together, talking and swimming and kissing. one of his friends came by and hung out with us too.

in the end i had to leave to get to my evening plans, and i just wanted to cancel everything and spend the night with him. but we said goodbye, friended each other on Facebook, and that was it. we would write occasionally, trying to figure out when we could see each other. but i had a bad depressive episode that fall, and didn't have the capacity to travel to see him, and he was too busy with school.

but then last month i came back to town for my cousins bachelorette party. and was finally doing a lot better (and still am). and we finally saw each other again. it was late at night, and we were both tired. we met outside at first, and went for a short walk to sort of acclimate to each other's company again. then we went back to the apartment i was staying at and just cuddled on the couch for a long time, before we even kissed. we just lay there and held one another and looked into each other's eyes until we finally kissed. and the sex was incredible. he shared that he was in a vulnerable place, and therefore currently practiced a form of celibacy where he didn't have penetrative sex or had orgasms. and it resulted in the most present, vulnerable, intimate, connected, honest, and hottest sex I've ever had with a straight man (and i have fucked a lot of straight men). i think we both said goodbye that night feeling a little bit in love.

and now im back in town. we have a date tomorrow, but i didn't have any plans tonight and he got out of uni late and passed near my place anyway, so we met up. we just hung out by the water and had a little wine. talked. kissed. it was cold and we were freezing for way too long, but we just dragged out the time because we enjoyed each others company so much. we talked about relationships, emotions, vulnerability, communication, self-love. i can't wait to see him tomorrow. i really fucking like him. i know we've only met three times but so far he's given me zero red flags. and who cares how it turns out, it won't change the fact that so far our time together has been so unbelievably amazing. and its just insane that us meeting was such an unlikely coincidence, so many things went wrong for him on that day, causing him to go for a swim to clear his head. we weren't drinking or on an app, we have zero friends in common, we were just complete strangers meeting by chance like something out of a movie. like i fully thought shit like this didn't actually happen? like i can't really believe it?? i keep looking for red flags but finding none. its crazy but i feel like I'm in love.