#and gunnie always pretends everything is fine but like. him laughing as he mentioned he'd have to go into cryo for 400 years or so

[zincbot]

thinking about gunnie.

leaving his successful academic life to chase a dream, and failing. for perhaps the first time in his life. and suddenly he's under more debt than can be paid off in 5 lifetimes. his body is completely changed, and he's abandoned.

instead of going home, gunnie keeps going. he spends years learning how to work through failure, how to run, how to cobble together tacyon drive equations on a crumbling ship. nights spent doing kids homework for pennies, laying on his cot, metal heated by the too-close reactor.

and he never calls home. he was a golden child. a savant, wunderkind. and his body, his debts, all of it stacks in irrefutable evidence for his failures.

gunnie is a gambler. and he would rather keep digging then let anyone see him in the hole.

#dimension 20 #starstruck odyssey #sorry i just got to the part where they're talking to his old teacher and he admits he hasn't spoken to his parents or any old friends #since becoming a spacer #and just before when the possibility of his dwbt forgiveness came up and the crew offered their unconditional support #and also the thing with skip trying to be a father figure is so funny but also i Think gunnie misses his dads man. #also he never even told them he was going to space #jesus christ gunnie GUNNIE #but i understand like. the thing that happens when you fuck up and you're the only one affected by it #the urge to just. hide it. not tell anyone. run away and pretend like you didn't fail so horribly #it's rough #and gunnie always pretends everything is fine but like. him laughing as he mentioned he'd have to go into cryo for 400 years or so #to have enough time to pay off his debts #and when he was talking about how he sees his cybernetic body HIS body so he wouldn't want a new one. but he doesn't own his own body #it's so fucking devastating. gunnie's fun he'll be absolutely hilarious and then while still being light and jovial he'll just #say something so devastating #as always i love lou wilson's characters man he's got it