#and boy howdy i'm good at one particular thing and that thing is being afeared about things

[dredshirtroberts]

i did the biggest and scariest of the things on my list (the last thign on my list in fact) and it took like. MAYBE 5 minutes total including login time navigation and page loading.

now i get to have fancy Oreo Poptarts because i'm a big strong boy whose knee is slightly dislocated (it's fine i just went too hard and i'll wrap it up here in a minute) and did a big scary thing and also now gets to fully devote brain power to anxiety about the (potential) hole between two of my heart chambers and the accompanying doctor's appointment tomorrow morning.

#the lack of anxiety about this has been so bad i don't even have my alarms set and for every other dr appointment previously #i had those bitches up a week ahead of time as soon as they reminded me about my upcoming appointment #anyway it's fine it's all fine i'm going to be fine i'll figure it all out please just don't let me lose my health insurance because i move #i shouldn't but. i fear. #and boy howdy i'm good at one particular thing and that thing is being afeared about things #oh sure my knees are fine for years while i have 3 available knee braces #i pare down to one really solid one with intentions to grab a second at some point in the distant future #and i'm feeling froggy right i'm feeling good everything is a-okie dokie so i lend my remaining knee brace out to my partner for moving shi #(cross country long haul style and they're gonna need it because heavy lifting) #forgetting of course that i'm heading into the part of the month where my joint stability (already tenuous) is reduced even further #thanks estrogen! hhhhhhhh #and i keep doing Up And Downs with squats and kneeling #thankfully it's the knee i call my bad knee even if it's both of them relatively equally nowadays #so i'm used to it being unstable and not great to stand on (and then do it anyway) #i'm mainly trying to keep an eye on it and make sure it doesn't swell up real bad like it did the first time i fucked it #when it earned the moniker of ''bad knee'' out of the two i've got #garrett's knee is fine right now but i'll probably end up bracing it when this one goes back to normal for the compensation i'm doing on it #ohhh bottle of naproxen we're really in it now #thank god it's workable though like so long as i'm In One Position and i don't sit with my leg folded up underneath me it's fine #it means i have fewer Gay And Neurodivergent ways to sit than normal but like i'll deal lmao #i just have to get through tomorrow and then i can rest the whole rest of the week until the move crew gets back up here #and then we will help with this #i'm really grumpy the thing i put off for weeks took like. a couple of clicks and a real quick county check #i really anticipated that being a longer process