#and accepted that you can't describe complicated weird and wonderful act of human existence with a couple of words

[themthistles]

i think that while micro labels can seem useful and affirming ultimately they're isolating and kind of an obstacle to your understanding of self. that's because you can never find a word specific enough. there will never be a label or two labels or even ten, twenty of them to perfectly capture and describe all of your thoughts, feelings, experiences, preferences, needs, interests, identities, etc. because you learn more and more about yourself every day and then you change and your wants and needs change with you. having to hop between labels, fearing that you don't 'fit' into a label anymore (both in your own and others eyes), worrying how soon your current label will wear out, questioning if you'll ever fully fit a single one. all that causes a lot of uncertainty and anxiety which could be avoided by just picking a more general thing and molding it according to what it means to YOU. because words will always mean different things to different people, you will never be understood immediately and maybe never completely by anyone but yourself and that's fine

#another thing is that micro labels often feel like they fracture the community unnecessarily #idk how many times i've seen fighting over hyperspecific ace labels and what they mean and if people described in them even belong #and honestly i think this discourse wouldn't be so vile and neverending if people accepted the idea of falling under general umbrella #and accepted that you can't describe complicated weird and wonderful act of human existence with a couple of words #you don't need to explain yourself to anyone #i know in our present pronouns/sexuality/gender in bio carrd era it feels like you have to but you really don't #people aren't entitled to a short summary of your inner world and you can't speed run connection #also feel the need to say: i have nothing against people who use micro labels #if you feel like your micro label describes you perfectly? i'm really glad and happy for you #i'm just expressing my own thoughts and feelings that come from personal experience with exploring these things #at some point i started doubting if i could call myself a lesbian #i thought oh i'm not exactly what a lot of people generally think of when they hear that word #oh they'll misunderstand and i'm not being my 'true self' i'll find a word that fits me exactly if i just keep looking #and then i found out being aroace is a thing and boy did that add a lot of anxiety and confusion to the pot #i didn't feel like i fit in with both communities wasn't lesbian enough wasn't aroace enough #but at some point i just got tired of trying to justify myself to others and to myself #identities aren't houses you live in they're more like seas or rivers flowing into one another #and spaces where they intersect are vague and hard to define and they shift and change and this metaphor is getting away from me #basically #words are complicated #but they're the only direct way we humans can communicate #it is what it is #so make art #a lot of it #oh also unrelated but if you ever tell older queer folks that they're using wrong words to describe themselves i am going to jump you