#and I've even been flirting and meeting people with non platonic aims

[secretmellowheart]

I feel so much guilt during Christmas

#either you're mocking me because you were right all along #and I'm miserable #or you don't think about me in the slightest #which is the better of the two options #and the most likely thankfully #i just want to move on for fuck's sake #it's been close to two fucking years #I've been doing everything I've wanted #i have friends i go out decently often i got to experience more of life i went back to uni #and I've even been flirting and meeting people with non platonic aims #but i still feel so fucking unfulfilled like there's a gaping hole that can't ever be filled #and I'm so fucking tired of it. i just want to let go #but that hole makes itself known whenever my brain lets down its guard #if someone knows what to do - please let me know!!! #I've been trying everything!!! #I'm just done at this point!!! #anyways that's enough venting. merry Christmas and dw new year's won't be like that #mellow ruminations