#an 'emotional cripple'. lmaoooo. she referred to the total fucking meltdowns that these times would culminate in as

[jvzebel-x]

🦋

#so i do this thing where i. dont process emotions. correctly. lmao. which im sure is not extremely obvious. lmao. #when i was a kid i spent a lot of time in school counselor offices. lmao. &my high school counselor referred to this issue as being #an 'emotional cripple'. lmaoooo. she referred to the total fucking meltdowns that these times would culminate in as #'a dam bursting'.mao. which i guess was correct i spent a lot of time on conduct probation bc of those little... episodes. lmao. #... (&like all 4yrs on academic probation bc of the much longer stints of mental instability that makes effort of any sort impossible LMAO) #so anyway i started using media to force emotional response to speedrun the trial of processing my emotions #bc once you start crying or screaming or whatever it doesnt really matter what started it; work yourself up enough #&youll end up at the place where it all ends. &begins. &needs to be unraveled or chopped in half. lmao. #&i never stopped using this tactic bc if it aint broke dont fix it LMAO. #so after kicking the process off w millers books ive listened to warsan shires bandcamp almost nonstop #&just finished rewatching the hxh chimera ant arc lmaoooo. #ALMOST. IM ALMOST THERE. I KNOW IT. just a little more force&ill be balanced again i know it. #summer is here i dont have time for this anymore lmao.