#also if you squint you'll see my cabal's PTSD rearing up but parkin doesn't know that.

[loyalhorror]

“Sergeant Parkin. Are you propositioning me?” 

Parkin looked away from him with a shy sort of grin, but he didn’t answer.

“You have a wife,” Cabal reminded him. His face was unreadable. 

“Aye,” said Parkin. “A wife who would encourage me to do the stupid thing I’m about to do.” And then he was leaning over and pressing his lips to Cabal’s jaw, the boldest thing he’d ever done in the man’s company, and Cabal flinched like he’d been struck. 

Parkin leaned back just as fast, suddenly, madly ashamed of himself. “Fuck,” he started to say, words thick and clumsy in his mouth, “I’m sorry, I should’ve asked first. I’ve had too much drink, Cabal, I’m so sorry.”

Cabal was staring at him. His breathing had gone shallow, and the distant, glassy look in his eyes made the bottom drop out of Parkin’s stomach with dread. This… this wasn’t what he’d wanted. In his head it had gone differently, see - Cabal had either kissed him back or--or he hadn’t looked like that. Like Parkin had hit him, or was going to. Parkin raised his hands half-way: look, I’m not going to do anything. 

He desperately wanted Cabal to say something. To hit him. Something. 

“I misjudged,” Parkin started to say, but Cabal interrupted him with a voice as brittle as it was cold.

“Get out, Sergeant.”

Parkin was suddenly very aware of the cane in Cabal’s hand. “Cabal--” 

But Cabal was standing over him suddenly, white-knuckled grip on the cane and his grey eyes stormy. “Get. Out.” Parkin was hit by the sudden, awful realisation that they were stormy because they were wet, or about to be. He was sure Cabal would rather kill them both than let him witness that, and just as sure that he’d kind of agree with that decision, and rose to his feet with his hands still raised.

“I’m going,” Parkin said, fumbling his way to the hallway and feeling wretched. “I really am sorry.”

When the front door closed behind him, Parkin heard several locks click as he made for the gate.

#rat.exe #johannes cabal #scratchings #disclaimer: this was written in 2021 and i have not read the cabal series since then #i have NO IDEA how to write parkin. i can barely remember a single scene he's in. #so he's sort of just Generic atm. #this is also a first draft so you know. #johannes cabal the necromancer #also if you squint you'll see my cabal's PTSD rearing up but parkin doesn't know that. #parkin is interpreting this as like... 'you--a queer man--just tried to kiss a straight man' #(also yes parkin and his wife are polyamorous in this fic. as a treat to me.)