#also again: going on a sideways emotional journey with AC1

[mjvnivsbrvtvs]

I was riding the train the other day, and while the reason for the trip absolutely sucked, the route passed through farm country and I saw a bunch of cows and some goats and I have been riding that high for two days now

#if you're wondering where this sudden influx of art came from: i saw cows and that made me happy for the first time in two months #also again: going on a sideways emotional journey with AC1 #machiavelli saved my life and now AC1 is resetting the metaphorical broken bones #im also? learning how to love art because i put time into it? im leaning how to be enough for myself? #this is Not the journey i expected to get when in installed a game i havent played in ten years but im not going to complain abt it #but more importantly: #whenever i start feeling sad i think about the cows that were hanging out in the fields with the goats and im :) #also a friend has been very kind and sending me things that make me feel better abt gender and im :') #its like someone putting a bandaid over a cut that was bleeding that i was ignoring but now that there's a bandaid on it im :'))) #didnt realize how much it was affecting me until someone took the time to make it hurt less! good GOD i was suffering #am suffering? definitely still not feeling good re: dysphoria but it's like now that someone took the time to alleviate #some of it off my shoulders?? i cannot believe i was living feeling that bad. jesus christ.