#also I'm allowed to make the RI pizza joke because I am from RI

[victorluvsalice]

AU Thursday: Fallout of Darkness Shitposting, Food Edition

Codsworth: [waking Victor up the day after he got out of the vault] Good morning! I’ve made you some tea, sir!

Victor: [yawning, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes] Oh, thanks, Codswor -- [blinking] Wait. We didn’t find any tea bags on our search yesterday.

Codsworth: . . .I’ve boiled you some leaves, sir!

Victor:

---

[shortly thereafter, looking at the drink Codsworth has made]

Codsworth: I’ve scanned it thoroughly, sir -- it’s perfectly safe.

Victor: [staring into the mug] I trust you, it’s just. . .it’s bright blue.

Codsworth: . . .it’s your favorite color, sir.

Victor: . . . [picks up mug] Touche.

---

Alice: [sniffing the air as they wander the town around the now-cleared-out Fort Hagen] All right, we definitely need to investigate that blood bank over there.

Victor: Oh? Why?

Alice: Because it smells like a full-on smorgasbord to me.

Victor: [slightly puzzled] It is a blood bank.

Alice: After 200 years?

Victor: . . .we should check out the blood bank.

---

Victor: [holding up a bottle of Nuka-Cola Quantum with an extremely fake grin] Try brand-new Nuka-Cola Quantum! Not only is it twice the calories, twice the carbohydrates, twice the caffeine, and twice the taste -- it will also somehow give you electric blue glowing piss even after two centuries have passed!

Preston: [in the background] WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO THE OUTHOUSE?!

---

Nuka-World Raider: Hey, Overboss, apparently you’re good at fixin’ stuff? Can you do something about the soda mixers?

Victor: What’s wrong with the mixers?

Nuka-World Raider: Whenever you dump soda into them, the stuff that comes out is all weird and bubbly and stings your mouth. Ain’t sure what the hell --

Victor: YOU GUYS HAVE CARBONATED SODA HERE?! [sprints off to find a mixer]

Nuka-World Raider: . . .

Gage: [pinching the bridge of his nose] Maybe it’ll keep him from complaining for five minutes. . .

---

[later, after Victor has confirmed that yes, the mixers can produce carbonated drinks]

Alice: [sipping blood from an old Nuka-Cola bottle, burps loudly]

Victor:

Victor: . . .did you use one of the mixer machines to carbonate some blood?

Alice: . . .maybe.

---

Victor: [cuts a slice off a loaf of bread]

Victor: [carefully simmers up a tato sauce and spreads it on said bread]

Victor: [sprinkles cheese over the sauce and bakes the whole thing over a fire]

Victor: [gesturing to his meal] Behold, the rebirth of the Rhode Island pizza strip.

Alice: We’re in Massachusetts.

Victor: Shush and let me enjoy my terrible pizza.

---

Piper: [after donating a bit of blood for Alice] Okay, so I gotta ask -- how come I don’t see you ever drink from feral ghouls or the like? You can’t get sick from radiation, right?

Alice: No, but I can pass that radiation on to others if I’m not careful. And besides -- you know how your entire mouth burns for a while after you eat something spicy?

Piper: [making a face] Like when Deacon got me to try the “special noodles?” Yeah, ugh.

Alice: Imagine that except it’s kind of in your entire body and you can feel it crackling every time you move.

Piper: Yeesh. . .don’t tell Nat, she’ll make you drink one just to see if she can spot that.

---

Alice: [looking around the Appletree Bakery Orchard] I do have to say -- even with the way a lot of the plant life has struggled to come back, the Commonwealth has a surprisingly variety of food. What do you suppose is the secret?

Victor: Oh, easy -- the person on the controls for some reason really, really likes food mods.

Me: Hey!

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#fallout of darkness #fallout 4 #mods #food and drink #I say 'hey' but his last observation is entirely accurate #I do love food mods #I just like my characters to have options with what they eat! #and Appletree Bakery is particularly good as it's got all sorts of fun stuff #fishing fruit popcorn fine dining #the outhouse is also part of a mod #I use both the CWSS mod for showers and toilets #and Advanced Needs 2 to give me a reason to use them #though weirdly enough I DON'T have a pizza mod #I haven't yet really found one I like #also I'm allowed to make the RI pizza joke because I am from RI #terrible pizza strips that are basically just sauce cheese and bread #totally a thing here #queued