#Teen me used to be sad and selfcouncious about having so few friends noe I'm like... Girl... That was your magic number and how you managed

[mrfoox]

Me disappointing people bc i suck at handling social conversations: I am sorry for being like this

#miranda talking shit #Two irl friends are talking with me and trying to make plans to meet up and i forgot to answer one of them for three days #To my defense i only got one notification from here 4 messages but yeah im not good #Im still stuck in my 9th grade mind where i had 4 friends two irl and two online and that was all i had to concentrate on #Now surprisingly i know a lot more people and keep in contact with more and holy hell am i struggling #Its never an 'i dont want to talk to them' its just me sucking at dividing time and keeping up with everyone #And then add in my struggle to initiate conversations... Like oh man oh no im sorry ... #I like having friends and people to talk to ofc but its just how i am which makes it hard... #I love chatting but it will possibly take 3 days or more for me to answer back and i hate making people feel bad about it ya know ? #And that also comes with how... I will put of conversations unless im super close with someone bc i feel i need to be more proper ? #Like if fabian messages me he'll at worst have to wait a day for a reply usually. But its bc he knows how i am and how i type #I can write without a filter and i dont have to worry how he'll interpret my reply? I like talking with people but unless im super close i #Will always take longer to answer bc i second guess what i write? Like... Oh does this make sense or can think be misunderstood and upset? #Teen me used to be sad and selfcouncious about having so few friends noe I'm like... Girl... That was your magic number and how you managed #The best with. Im just such a hardcore person its all or nothing... So id like to invest my time heavily into people from time to time #But now its too many i cant naturally do that and gives me anxiety and stress yeaaah. I wish communication came easier to me #Ill think about all my friends almost on a daily basis but its the whole writing things down which is energy consuming