#Sqq: *drops important items like xiuya because he keeps forgetting he doesn't have hammer space anymore* *heavy sigh*

[phoenixcatch7]

We could make Sqq a transformer in his past life. Like optimus prime sorta transformer. Cybertronian.

He'd be the only surviving seeker (winged guy) on the autobots side (I don't know all the canons but I don't think they have, like, any). Pretty young when the war started - unfathomably ancient for humans, the kiddie of the group to them.

And he arrives on earth. Discovers the Internet. Immediately gets hooked on critiquing stupid Web novels in every language, which being a sentient machine he can do at great speed without forgetting anything. Decides to read the final chapter during a battle because he's so close to the end and airplane had better pull SOMETHING good. Is so infuriated (distracted) by the ending he messes up and immediately gets killed by some low level decepticon. After FIVE MILLION years of war he gets offed by some loser over a stupid human story that wasn't even very good. He dies SO furious.

And then he gets reborn a human.

He is, as the kids say, big mad.

How by Primus do they do anything??

#I can't decide if back on earth it's post reveal or not because the revelation that a cybernetic alien soldier was the one being catty in #the comment section of his harem story would break sqh. It'd be so funny if he didn't believe him tho #Sqq trying so hard to blend in when he knows basically nothing about even modern human norms outside of stories and memes #No one can decide if Sqq just has hallucinations or has been possessed by an eldritch monster #Sqq: *under his breath because his thoughts are so hard to hold on to now* I MISS being able to fly myself #Sqq: *drops important items like xiuya because he keeps forgetting he doesn't have hammer space anymore* *heavy sigh* #Sqq: *does a weird twist of his limbs because he can no longer turn into a vehicle* *mortified* #Mqf: shixiong... Is everything alright? #Sqq; who's been trying to air drop his medical information to his hard drive because he's too squeamish to say it out loud: yeah - Yes. #Sqq with great feeling: humans... Are so SOGGY. You're all so SQUISHY and full of all sorts of nasty FUILDS. I have to consume SO much #And all I get is SMELLY #No wonder your species started global warming #Sqh: bro can you not?? #He adores lbhs cooking tho. #svsss #shen qingqiu #transformers #scum villain's self saving system #the scum villain's self saving system #scum villain #He's an idiot but he's an incomprehensibly ancient battle hardened 7m tall metal warrior squished into mortal form idiot #He is not picking up the signs lbh is putting down #At least once he figures out human limitations he can be a good strategist again