#PLEASE THIS WOULD BE THE FUNNIEST SHIT

[coulsandies]

idk if i’ve been watching too much reality tv but i need a mdzs x reality tv au i think that shit would be so funny.

n e w a y z, here’s what i have to offer, included but not limited to:

- jin zixuan being the wine mom who’s just DONE (he’s only there for his wife and kid)

- wei ying is there for the drama

- jiang cheng who will leap over a table and beat the shit out of you

- wen ning being everyone’s favorite camera man

- jingyi being everyone’s favorite (he doesn’t know what the fuck is going on)

#mdzs #mo dao zu shi #grand master of demonic cultivation #grandmaster of demonic arts #grandmaster of demonic cultivation #founder of demonic cultivation #founder of diabolism #the untamed #cql #i think jin zixuan would THRIVE in a reality tv au #people please add to this this is the funniest shit i’ve come up with

[invaliowat]

I don’t often acknowledge the fact that Nick Bradshaw canonically died in Top Gun, BUT, if I were to do such a thing it would be like when I was thinking the other night (I know- dangerous) and I was like rip to Nick Bradshaw you woulda LOVED the 2008 classic movie Step Brothers.

#nick goose bradshaw #top gun #top gun maverick #top gun 1986 #how the fuck do I tag this #no #seriously #that’s a real question #pete maverick mitchell #tom iceman kazansky #ron slider kerner #idk my head is so empty #but full of shit like this #I posted this in an absolute fit of ‘fuck it we ball’ energy #guys #he WOULD have loved Step Brothers #you know #the 2008 classic I watch every three and a half months #because it’s still one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen #you KNOW he and Maverick would reenact the bunk bed scene #and Ice would just come home and be like #??????? #please can it just be normal #and slider would be like thoughts and prayers bro #they can be gay in this if you want btw (they TOTALLY) are #but this was more just my stupid thoughts about how like #if Goose hadn’t died you know he would also watch that movie like every three months #and Bradley would be like please stop referencing it #it’s NOT funny #and he’d ref anyway

[shadowqueenjude]

Patiently waiting for Tamlin to shapeshift Rhysand into an ant and stomp on him.

#please it would be the funniest shit ever #dumbest way to die for rhysand too #lmaooooo #pro tamlin #tamlin #anti rhysand #anti feysand #anti inner circle

[apotelesmaa]

akito is probably one of the funnier project sekai characters just as a concept because he takes himself so seriously and is like ur typical “I’m cool and tough” teen boy character but the game itself is so unserious & so is everyone he knows so he’s constantly getting stuck in Situations. His best friend is fairly serious but also is like the no.1 reason he gets dragged into shit. If I could choose one character to learn about the other unit sekais it would be akito because I want him to experience the wxs sekai so badly.

#project sekai #ena making him run errands and take photos w her. mizuki finding intense joy in teasing him. #he goes to school & toya makes him interact w tsukasa and rui #the second funniest character to put in the wxs sekai is kanade. she would literally die. #the gaming event was so funny he’s like I’m not taking the fucking silly picture. & toyas like please :(. & he caves #like ena and toya are fairly serious ppl but bc he knows them #he also knows mizuki and Tsukasa who can & will drag him into shit. #akito enjoyers I know he has depth im just talking abt surface level concept

[mermaidsirennikita]

One reason why I think Mila Finelli's mafia books do work for me better than most other (Italian--I did really love Kresley's series) mafia romance novels I've read is that the characters do feel DISTINCT and so do the relationship dynamics.

In a lot of these somewhat darker, more erotic reads, you do get the sense that any of the characters could be switched out for one another. The heroes are always the same types of alphas, the heroines are always the same types of a) virgins or b) defiant rebels who may also still be virgins, and what really sets the books apart are a few bananas scenes here and there, and some distinct sex scenes.

And while I definitely think there are distinct sexual dynamics and kinks at play with each couple (Fausto/Frankie are obviously daddy kink-central, Enzo and Gia are.... generalized freaks with some heavier BDSM by way of CNC vibes, Giulio and Alessio also have some D/s vibes but with a more competitive edge and are very into each other's violence, and Giacomo/Emma are obviously a breeding kink/softer touch vibe) they're also just super different people.

I guess the closest couples would be Fausto and Frankie and Enzo and Gia, but even then... Fausto is a dick, but he's more rational, more doting (see: daddy), and though Frankie is absolutely defiant and strong, I actually think that though she and Fausto have more of a traditional partnership in terms of gender than Enzo and Gia (which also could be because Frankie wants a billion kids and yes she has her MBA but she's very much a wife and mom first, whereas Gia is more about her career, which keeps them from being too similar). Enzo and Gia are more into the defined D/s shit sexually, but you get the sense that she has more control in the relationship and that, at the end of the day, he is very much... her bitch. Enzo and Gia have a very similar age gap to Fausto and Frankie, but Fausto and Frankie have more of a care-focused DD/lg relationship, whereas Enzo and Gia thrive on the friction of her giving as good as she gets.

And Alessio and Giulio, aside from the obvious of being the only queer relationship in the series, are very much coded as D/s as well... But not as inflexibly as the previous two couples. Aside from them switching it up in the bedroom a little, there's also a lot of space for Alessio to take care of Giulio. Like, Giulio kinda doesn't know shit about what he's doing lol, whereas Alessio is hypercompetent (which also makes sense, as Fausto for sure spoiled Giulio and Alessio has been in essentially a different class his entire life). So while Giulio is more sexually dominant, Alessio is really the stronger, steadier, and more threatening partner otherwise. And again, they both really get off on watching each other do what they do best, which is: crime.

I do think Giacomo and Emma have the softest relationship in the series--but it's not so much because she's this kind of babe in the woods virgin (and I will say, I did love that Frankie and Gia were NOT lol) but because Giacomo is just a much more tender guy. Like, yes, Fausto and Enzo both also had loved ones, but I think that because they'd both been running their shit longer than Giacomo had before he met Emma, they had these very set roles. Fausto and Enzo come off as more brutal, and honestly more crazy (like, Enzo is THE CRAZIEST for sure, but Fausto is a fucking nutball). Giacomo seems like a dude who's good at killing people and doing mafia stuff, but it's really like? His day job. It's not his life and it doesn't feel like his culture, even, which makes sense because he was on the fringes of the types of levels Fausto and Enzo have always been in, because his father and brother kept him separate from it. Even Giulio is more connected to that space than Giacomo, because he was groomed to take over for years.

I think it would be very easy to rely on these great sex scenes and wacky plots she writes, but the thing that does make it clear that Mila has the chops (.... and it also makes it clear that she's very experienced, lol, and someone who has had to write series with very individualized characters for professional editors in the past........) is that the characters are very DIFFERENT. Like, Frankie and Gia may both have their partners' balls in their pockets, but you see Frankie do a wheedling kind of little girl pouting thing to get her way with Fausto because she knows he looooves it, whereas Gia is like LISTEN UP ASSHOLE with Enzo (and it makes the relationship the best because nobody else can do that with him, Enzo and Gia are the greatest, thanks for coming to my Ted Talk). Giacomo is willing to let Emma go in a way that Fausto, Enzo, and honestly I would say Giulio too after working out some things, really aren't okay with. He's probably the best guy out of the series, on a moral level, while also being a scary murder man.

(Except for maybe Alessio? Because Alessio is also a scary murder man, but he literally just does it for the cash or to protect Giulio. It's PURE BUSINESS.)

I find the distinctiveness of the characters really cool, especially when I reread the books, and that is probably why I've had a hard time finding a series that really clicks for me in the same way within the sort of Italian mafia genre.

(That, and: so much of the other books center on Italian-American mafia stuff and that shit DOES NOT HAVE THE SAUCE the way Mila's Italy-set books do. Like, be real here, the Italian-American mafia has not been raking in this kind of cash for DECADES.)

#romance novel blogging #anyway my musings on the mafia fuckbooks continue #i really do need to read annika martin's books #bc she's another author i have been pleased by with other books #and similarly to mila did a hard left into mafia novels #but yes #i do think that giacomo being sort of fringe-level with the mobster CEO shenanigans did deprive us of some of the funniest shit in the book #which would be like #enzo and fausto sending each other severed heads and getting on the phone like #'is that-' 'the severed head of your employee? yeah. :)' #or giulio bopping over to be like 'LISTEN UP THE ONLY COKE DEALER IN SPAIN IS ME NOW!!!!' #like i do remember her saying she hadn't originally been planning to write a book for emma #which seemed wild to me at the time #but you can tell this story was conceived of separately from the others #bc there's a pretty clear pipeline from fausto and frankie -> the villain enzo getting a book w gia -> #tying up the arc with fausto's son falling for the guy enzo paid to kill fausto lmao #(the comedy of this series will never top enzo fully forgetting he put a hit on giulio bc of all the bomb sex he was having on his yacht) #anyway that doesn't make mafia virgin a lesser book in any way it just reads as the most oN ITS OWN

[meaningtotellyou]

imagine new heights with kylie AND taylor on there

#yeah right but please #it would be the funniest shit

[rydingska]

the true crime commited by the rwrb movie is that it is not a netflix original and will therefore never be torn to shreds by trixie & katya :(

#i would personally fund them to watch it it'd be the funniest shit #their reaction to the 'he is' line #please. #red white and royal blue

[todayisafridaynight]

arasawa 'but are they You Know' can be so funny check this out. literally any scenario involving ichiban being nosy

#snap chats #in the funniest and most ironic way i can say it its like when someones kids really wants their parent to be happy for once #yk what i mean there's like two ways a kid meeting a stepparent can go Abject Horror and Joy #i dont have to say who the first one is. i will though masato wants to scream Why Is Everyone But Me Happy #no listen if you've been reading the essays being posted here the past week i don think ichiban hates jo #and on TOP of that i think ichi thinks jo would be happy if he and arakawa could have One Nice Night and ergo he wont be so MEAN #just no worrying about the clan ichi and everyone else has it covered you can totally rely on them <- no you cant #its like when your parents go on vacation and you comedically wreck the house by accident while theyre gone #but then you SOMEHOW get it all fixed up right before they get home. cat in the hat kind of bullshit #i just think they should have their brooklyn 99 moment. you know the one #'RESPECTFULLY captain you and the boss need alone time' #jo doesnt even get what hes trying to say until he looks at mitsu who looks about ready to jump out the window yk #like 'aniki PLEAAASE shut the fuck up you're gonna get us hit' #and its BECAUSE they arent together Like That that its especially like Put A Cork In It You're Insane #in the alternate timeline/scenario where jo Does like arakawa like that i think ichi should be annoying about it too #listen if arakawa is the only thing that prevents them from maiming each other then it'll be fine #ichiban please be the worst wingman imaginable while jo tells you to leave him alone #hes going to bottle his emotions and store it in his chest and it'll just sit and ferment there until he dies #like are we seeing the potential here. its awful i cant open any new canvases or word docs EW #maybe if i finished my fuckin SHIT..

[arundolyn]

i love how i had just checked the page for the izayoi also bc it said on the uniform section of the NOL page that “tsubaki is allowed to wear the izayoi while on duty, despite it not being part of the standard uniform”, which led me to believe oh, maybe the izayoi is her WHOLE OUTFIT that would make sense as to why it looks like ayames

......come to find out no, they did just mean the hat. so like help girl are we ignoring tsubaki’s flagrant nigh uncharacteristic disregard for uniform rules for the sake of?? historical accuracy/homage to one of her ancestors? which is honestly sorta on brand for her

#crow.txt #blazblueposting #bc like there IS art of her in a proper wings of justice uniform. like official art. a few i think? #i remember this Specifically bc they say the wings of justice are supposed to have feathers on their sleeves and for some reason #all of them i can remember have little like.. cloth things? #and that bugged me hfjkdhkh #like they make it CLEAR its Only the hat #which is very very funny considering tsubaki is just straight up not wearing literally any of her proper uniform #despite being THE rule abiding goody two shoes to the woooooorst degree ever that is her whole brand #shes more focused on upholding the law and shit than the damn imperator (until the middle of cp and all but yknow) #izanami just kinda fucks around and then she sees tsubaki going absolutely HAM doing everything in her name to keep 'order' as she sees it #and shes like oh shit lol thats fucking hilarious. im going to mind control her now #(as if she wasnt pretty much doing that already honestly. but yeah take away the REST of her free will sure) #god i love remembering tsubaki is the funniest character in blazblue bc she seems like 'normal' but shes actually insane about it #literally every character is the funniest character judging by different metrics. this franchise is going to kill me. #i love just. on one hand: crazy that tsubaki would actually violate the strictures of her job like that in a way she normally wouldnt #BUT in the other: her being soooooo obsessed with larping ayame that she goes up to? idk the head of the wings of justice #and goes pleaaaase can i wear this instead of my uniform. pretty please. #and shes so pathetic about it they cant say no #not often do i get to call tsubaki pathetic but its always funny when i do

[ironmanstan]

Bro is sick and sleeping way too much and cramming in portfolio pieces and yet accepting extra volunteer work

#'can you edit this that one of the volunteers did' why r u letting the cringe other people working here do a bad jobbbb #good goddddddd lmaooooo #its fine i work better when im stressdd to hell and back i have 4 portfolio pieces left i need to use persepctive so im scared tho #im good at perspective idk why im dreading it sm im so in my head rn tho lmao im insane im insane #i do 2 pieces at 8 am and then i sleep the literal entire day bc im sick and illnessed soon i will be fucking free from this #and then i get to study for test for OTHER school yay 👍 #if all works out i start uni not next fall. but in ... january... haahahahaHAHHAHAHHAHDBFHHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA good god #fuckin hell #i need it all to align rn please it would be a little crazy of me yes im sacrificing gap year i dont care itd be funnyyyyy #guy who takes fucking. half a gap year #funniest shit ive ever done #the gamer speaks uwu

[wizardnuke]

just saying this campaign heavily features Drama. here's how the "da'leth and essek have to work together to figure out what's going on with the moon" theory can still win

#I want to see this wizards yell at each other it'll be funny #they would NOT take each other seriously. theoretically da'leth could get essek in major trouble but essek also has the trump card of #'my husband can kick your ass' and da'leth just can't argue #funniest stalemate ever. they're MORTAL ENEMIES and they can't do SHIT about each other. please. matt mercer hear me out

[redxriiot]

The utter potential comedy of the bakusquad/other Kiri friends being a freakin' Grrek chorus to him in being playfully against him dating Katsuki and sabotaging chances of them getting together for the lolz

#;mun has spoken #//Kiri: hmm; i wanna text Bakugou rn-. Kaminari; in the middle of sharing popcorn: Bitch don't you fuckign do it #//Sero: You're too good for him honey; please don't go to him-. Kiri: I...we're literally just going to the store??? #//Mina casually slotting in during Katsuki and Kiri hanging out; and Kiri happily lets her bc the more friend the merrier! #//Bonus if she chose to deliberately sit on his lap and he didn't bat an eye at it #//Idk if it's funnier Kiri KNOWING and letting them do it bc he thinks it's the funniest fucken shit #//Or he doesn't and just thinks his friends need him to hang out with them more #//Which he'll happily do. esp if he didn't realize they picked up he likes Kat BEFORE he himself realized it for HIMSELF #//Or even didn't realize they were sabotaging Katsuki's attempts to het with him #//I think the Baku sabotage one and oblivious Kiri might actually be the funniest lmao #//Bc Kamiseromina would get such a KICK out of it all. watching Blasty McSplode just FUMING and losin' his marbles while Kiri's all smiles #//He honestly wouldn't mind TOO much in finding out. chide at them for messing with Kacchan like usual; but find it kinda funny #//Who would win? A Kacchan or 3 clowns jdhthrj #//Would still prolly defend them from the Kacchan when he inevitably kabooms

[psychoticwillgraham]

still wanna do a hannigram au of both Ugly Americans and Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell one day but that would require watching both of them to refresh myself on them just to do it

#I already have pretty face on my watchlist somewhere #just gotta find the other one #please tell me I’m not the only person who remembers the first one #and a YPFIGTH au would just be like. The funniest shit

[snekdood]

honestly i should’ve known something was wrong with my abuser, aside from the many, and in retrospect, obvious red flags, like drawing rape porn, they also both told me some guy was a creep who essentially wanted to rape rich women and get them addicted to drugs to “ruin their lives” and then acted like this guy was shitty and that we should avoid him and then ALSO take me over to the place where he lived.

#vent #funniest and strangest part to me about that though is the guy called himself zero too #like. ig its zero if he was low income and actually had a reason to be resentful even though he's still getting 'justice' in the wrong way #but anyways its so weird to me idk. just such a coincidence i guess. idk. but honestly. it would be soooooooooo funny if i found out that #this guy and my abuser and plenty of other people from highschool were stalking me online all throughout highschool #and decided to pull some sort of weird fucked up kiwifarms shit on me like. that would be so deeply entertaining to me #like please. lay out the red carpet fro all the low life no life vapid and insecure pieces of shits who hide in the shadows to talk shit #that would be great #id love to find out if my suspicions were true. id be smiling with the most smuggest grin. #even if its not truie so many of yall are so fucking constrained by your internal cringe reaction that you cant let yourself breathe #i imagine it would take many shroom trips to make you realize you shouldnt give a fuck about what other people do or are like #i imagine you probably suck rn to trip around too if you're like this. oof. #imagine. tripping around someone who's so deeply insecure they cant even just let the trip overtake them and have fun #just over thinking the whole time. sad shit.

[russeliarat]

I apologise to the Zelda people but I have many thoughts and feelings about Mr Jash and I must throw art about it into the world. Zelda will return shortly, if not by the end of the month when TotK is released. Until then, just look at my funky designs without context and hear my unfiltered screaming about lore and memes for a bit

#i am the opposite of chonny for i function through digital numbers #it feeds my need for validation please and thank you #mother mary i have many things to say #he is indeed a very cool musician and deserves 'funniest man to ever' award after that q&a #also i despise tiktok and will not be opening any comment sections w his music in bc there is always the wildest most weird takes #like yes it's fine if the style don't suit your fancy but don't shit on chonny as a guy that's such a dick move #the amount of ppl on tiktok who just insult him unprovoked is actually so weird coz they just bring him up negatively on tally hall tiktoks #chonny haters are like a disease istg like no one asked you to comment on how he looks or how his voice sounds jfc #tbf tiktok is a disease in itself the haters just found a place where their bullshit would be tolerated coz twitter is off limits #most of his fan base is on twitter rn #yea i've had some odd encounters can you tell?

[faarkas]

2079- vs 2075-2077 x

#the order of these is jumbled but thats bc i did the Current Times one first and then nat was like PLEASE DO WHEN THEY WERE A COUPLE NOW #anyway may i reintroduce to u. noight citays most stupid ex couple #verde genuinely being so sweet on him even tho he looks like a fucking foot until he grows some hair vs him just trying to climb saka #food chain like yessss give me opportunities (he doesn't even get That many from her) until he accidentally does fall in love with her #but by that point shes already uncovering some of the fucked up shit hes doing at work + all his past indiscretions and shes like Ok Bye . #and then they become bitter exes but she still doesn't like. want to hurt him she just wants him to leave her alone. for the most part #i don't feel like they even cross paths that often bc landon is so busy and is just. worlds most pathetic man. #and then he just is miserable over her for a very long time. Comedy. thats what u get for being a corpo bootlicker baby!!!!! #He could have had it all!!!!! #oc: verde #oc: landon #verde x landon #ocstuff #verde after they're all done like Man he Was a really good work husband :/ Shame his jokes fucking sucked AKWSHEGRSJDNKZAKDSGB #meanwhile landon like I like her as a person (lukewarm) and then fuck I DO like her as a person (genuine) #anyway. girlboss girlbreakup girlbreak his heart #Also I would like to offer u the funniest realization from earlier: Out of nat and I's gaggle of 7/7 ocs landon is the only straight one.