#Like go half 'if you tell mum I will hurt myself it won't b your fault but it will happen' and half 'that's my private info

[aw-bean-s]

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#Trying to figure out how to convince my chatty anxious gp who likes my mum not to tell my parents my medical info #I just really need to tell someone who I won't hurt that I'm like. Massively suicidal. And this I the worst its been since I was 12 #But I also need mum not to know bc that fucks up my whole system of 'how not to kill/hurt self' that I've constucted over the years #Like as soon as she knows that's mentally taken a lot of pressure off of not doing it #Which gives me carte blanche to just like. Go ham as it were #Also if anyone sees this don't worry im alright right now this is just the frustration of like. Doing maths basically #It's so annoying bc the only thing I can come up with is threatening him. which is mean. And bad. #Like go half 'if you tell mum I will hurt myself it won't b your fault but it will happen' and half 'that's my private info #I told you not to share it you had no reason and I'll go to the privacy commissioner' #But like I said this guys nice and a family friend and I don't wanna do that it's mean :(( #BUT I really need him to understand the seriousness of him not telling mum and I think he won't get it #so it's looking like I'd spend half the appointment telling him not to tell mum #and on top of all of this my ear needs checking! Like I have an actual medical issue! #Fml #Vent

[esta-elavaris]

hello!! i’m gonna speak plainly to you as a little friend in my phone bc a couple things happened this week and i immediately wanted to tell you so i guess that makes us friends now ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

first off! this link was shared with me and i quite literally needed to forward it to you bc i just thought it was so beautiful and made the scenes so much more personable somehow. seeing it from that vantage made it all feel that more real i suppose. but gotta be honest not sure i needed to “feel like i was there” for that last clip they used😭 (btw the link in question: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8jGnmgy/ )

secondly, after voraciously reading (and partially rereading) HWFG, i decided a rewatch of lotr was in order. so i started watching it. and i was with my mother at the time that i watched the ending of the fellowship of the ring and i began explaining all the facets of the story to her and ultimately veered into boromir as a character and we ended up having such a lengthy conversation about him bc i was trying so hard to stress his goodness!! that all he wants is the power to protect his city and his people!! and that the ring responds to this passion and tries to corrupt it and makes him seem weak to its power but it’s not weakness it’s love for something so much bigger than him and i just adore him ma’am. so after explaining this and unfortunately not turning off the film right before the orc attack . . . i then got to introduce my mother to the heartbreaking moment of boromir’s valiant death. bc obviously she had fallen for him at this point as well. now with every arrow in him i think she screamed out louder and louder but it really was a canon event in the lives of the audience of lotr so i could not interfere. anyways i think that’s it so farewell for now!! (and thanks for reigniting a passion for lotr!!)

HELLO FRIEND! Send your mum a link to the fic I will heal her 👀 I'm kidding, don't do that -- sorry, couldn't resist.

God, it's so weird how changing the orientation of the scenes makes it feel more "real", and how much of a recent phenomenon that must be - I've never seen anything like that before, or even really considered it. Thanks for the link (but also how dare you, because I also did not need to see that last clip, jeezo).

Also "and partially rereading HWFG" ma'am there are fourteen chapters I only started it two minutes ago and you are here rereading parts, I'm going to die you can't do this to my heart 😭💜

Honestly it's funny though because out of all of them, I've absolutely seen FOTR a hundred times more than the others (and I've seen the others a hell of a lot, too, so it says a lot) with the exception of the final half hour. I like to let myself that Boromir decided "nah it's not for me thanks" and just went back to chill in Rivendell or Lothlorien 'til it was all done. Is it in his character? No. Does it hurt less? Absolutely.

I really don't understand how people can hate him as a character. I know a few people who go on to me about how much they hate him every time I mention him, and I just really can't wrap my head around it. There are some characters that I adore but I can see why they're a controversial choice, but he's absolutely not one of them. A lot of the time they do it almost as a way to show their love of Faramir, without realising that like? A) Faramir would not want that, and B) Boromir was GOOD to Faramir and tried to intercede with Denethor on his behalf.

I won't write you a dissertation on this but maaaaaan. I'm glad I'm dragging you back into Boromir hell with me. It's like a different flavour of the same ice cream as Norrington hell. Bon appetit ✨

#asks #also dead ass always speak plainly to me #it's always welcome #for everybody