#IM ACTUALLY MEAR SOBBING

[sapphic-lottienat]

happy tara maclay day !!!!!

hii so i just suddenly remembered that today is october 16th aka tara maclay's birthday!! so happy birthday to my favourite fictional character ever, here's a little very rushed and very unofficial essay for you <3

so i already knew about her and her unfortunate fate since way back in season 3; i looked at a website about willow's best fashion looks, and her second from the top (before vampire willow ofc) was her and tara's look in once more with feeling. it said in the description, "lets just ignore what happened in seeing red" and ofc my curiosity took me to the buffy wikipedia synopsis, telling me all about her death. so that wasnt the best start.

but i fell in love with her just like willow did. i squealed during new moon rising when she confessed and blew the candle out. i melted during family when they danced together (on her birthday just like today!!). i cried at their first fight in tough love. i sobbed at the end of tabula rasa when tara left. i was so so hopeful at the end of entropy (i even wrote a fanfic on it that yall should defs check out). and i sobbed for hours. hours. after seeing red.

i loved her little friendship with dawn, with anya, with buffy, with everyone.

the way her character has changed me and made me realise things about myself is something that no other character has done.

her and willow made me realise that i was in fact NOT bi and actually lesbian. her sweet demeanour made me into a kinder person, although a bit more of a pushover. i loved her so much that i began to almost love myself. because i realised that there were parts of me that i had in common with tara. and i began to love them.

i became so so so in love with her. i watched every amber benson interview. i bought every piece of buffy merch because she made me love buffy. i bought the buffy tarot deck because i thought maybe she would be proud of me if i tried witchcraft.

she became a part of me. profile pictures, tumblr urls. i cant even explain how much i love her.

and then with the new audiobook im falling back in love with evil tara… her little evil laugh and her low voice is so aaahhhhhh. and her and drusilla make the cutest power couple.

she deserved more than to be shot dead by warren mears. she deserved the world. she deserved better than how willow treated her in early season 6. she deserved everything sweet and kind and beautiful in the world.

basically in conclusion she is a perfect angel who can do no wrong and if you say one bad thing about her i will come for you grr

no but all jokes aside, she means so much to me. truly. i havent finished the audiobook yet but i hope tara and willow are living in a mystical house in the woods into their old age with lots of cats.

i love her.

<3

#btvs #buffy the vampire slayer #tara maclay #slayers: a buffyverse story #tillow #willow x tara