#I'm watching the Christmas tree of might commentary

[dbphantom]

It makes me so happy tfs still supports purpleeyeswtf despite him not posting anything for a while both of them were literally my childhood and none piece is my favorite abridged series

#IF YOU CANT TELL BY ME QUOTING NONE PIECE CONSTANTLY #Code ment close 2nd and db/za 3rd #Cruddy rambles #I'm watching the Christmas tree of might commentary #They do the same with faulerro tho nullmetal alchemist is not available anymore #I fucking love nullmetal alchemist too #*why is he carrots* #''he's great! WHICH IS WHY I MUST EAT HIM'' #And yes I initially fell in love bc ep 1 used two steps from hell in it... Good decision past me

[rachel-langella-author]

Anna and the Apocalypse

Shudder has a lovely curated collection of holiday horror movies, so I'm going to watch (and in some cases, rewatch) the entire collection over the remainder of this month.

Tonight is night one! I've chosen to start with Anna and the Apocalypse (2017), which is a holiday horror comedy musical set in Scotland during a zombie apocalypse at Christmas. I'll be posting my reactions while watching it, so there will be SPOILERS.

Okay, we're starting off with strong teen angst vibes. Anna wants to take some time to travel before going to university, but her father doesn't approve of the idea. We have the obligatory "I can't wait to get away from you!" Also the obligatory "teen boy in love with his female best friend who has no idea" trope.

Oh, we are drenched in irony-laden foreshadowing with Anna looking straight at the camera as she sings, "this isn't what you expect" (or something to that effect. The "Not a Hollywood Ending" number is catchy, but I do wonder if Lisa and Chris collapsing on the floor at the end is giving us a clue as to whether they'll survive until the end or not.

I know Headmaster Savage is supposed to be unlikeable, but I think he might be my favorite just for the "Withdraw your tongues!" line aimed at a couple making out in the hall. Clearly, he's been broken by long years of teaching. Or he's just a dick. Either way, I'm amused by him and his unconcealed disdain.

Anna and John singing about what a wonderful day it is while smoke from a distant house fire billows and zombies lunge after terrified neighbors behind them. "Subtle" commentary about how unobservant people can be, especially when they have their ear buds in? It's a funny juxtaposition, at least! Also, the movie really hammers home what the viewer is in for when Anna kills her first zombie with a seesaw. Its head flies off, and we're treated to a close up of a Monty Python-esque up-spray of blood from the neck.

OMG #evacselfie Okay, I officially love the scathing dark humor.

"Tay-tay's fine. She's FINE."

John kills a zombie by bashing its head between two bowling balls so hard that the skull erupts. So we have pretty graphic gore, but it's so over the top, I'm not grossed out by it. The visual juxtapositions are interesting: one scene shows us a deserted residential street and zooms in on someone's limp hand in a pool of blood against the backdrop of the dismal, grey winter sky. Visually striking and poignant! Not long after that, a scene shows us Steph shoving a zombie's head into a toilet and beating it to death with the lid. Tinsel and garlands are everywhere, and red and green lights shine down on bodies sprawled in empty streets. A bloody apocalypse festooned with colorful holiday decorations pretty much sums up this movie.

Of course the local group of dudebros are hunting zombies and looting, led by Nick the dick, who bursts into an "Eye of the Tiger"-sounding solo about being "a soldier at war."

Voice-over narration of "The Night Before Christmas" while Anna and her ragtag band of survivors fight their way out of a Christmas tree lot in slo-mo. Anna's weapon of choice? A candy cane lawn decoration with a spiky bit at the end. Steph is wielding a mannequin leg, which could be a nod to A Christmas Story? Nick is swinging a baseball bat because he's basic.

Oh shit, Savage has straight up snapped. The actor playing him is a brilliant scenery chewer in the fine tradition of Alan Rickman in that Robin Hood movie.

Nick gets a redemption...moment? I can't tell if it's going to develop into a full-blown arc. Nice bit of concise character development, but he's still a dick.

"BOOM! Saved your life." Steph is my favorite.

FINAL THOUGHTS: Okay, so lots of blood, but most of it is very Monty Python, so it's not that bad. It's not scary, and there are minimal jump scares (thank goodness). It mixes social commentary with dark humor in the way that I like, and while there are some poignant moments, they don't delve into pathos. You get two seconds to have a feeling about it before the movie does something to make you laugh in that "OMG I'm going to hell for laughing" way.

If you like Shaun of the Dead and musical theater, you'll probably like this movie. 4.5 out of 5 zombie Santas.

#anna and the apocalypse #zombie movies #horror movies #holiday horror movies #holiday horror 2022 #unhappy holidays collection on shudder