#I'm the 67% that got curved to an 82% because when we fail we lie and say it was good enough

[neverendingford]

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#your don't get to see the art I made it was very mediocre #and I'm saving it for my stupid Instagram so the people who know me irl can see it #because I have this stupid compulsion to communicate in any insane way I can #until everyone around me knows how I am. what I am. #I destroy any expectation of performance. of proper behavior. of adequate action. #any trust in the promises I make. any guarantee that I will be next week who I say I am today #I am simply me. I burn like a flame and extinguish in steam and flow like mud between your toes on a hot summer afternoon #I am everything you want me to be and yet I am what lies beneath the surface #I am the smile on a Sunday morning and the fight that happened Saturday night #the firm handshake and the quiver in your knees #I am the warmth of a hug and tbf coldness of steel and the bitterness of blood and the richness of chocolate milk from the fridge #and I will never be any of that. #I'm the 67% that got curved to an 82% because when we fail we lie and say it was good enough #the panicked jolt awake when you catch yourself committing the crime of resting comfortably for once #the accidental flinch that slams your elbow into the wall when you hear the house settle at night #the too-fast beat of your heart as you feel a presence loom over you while you hide under the covers #the grind of your teeth when you know you can't push any further but you do anyway #the sorrow when you know that you will never be what you want to be #you will never be anyone but yourself #is there anything more tragic than that? #tag talk