#I'm really sleepy so I don't wanna edit this smsksk

[mitsuyaya]

[ 21:57 PM ] hayakawa aki

☆༉ contains: spoiler for anime watchers, character death, angst, delusions, just pure angst

☆༉ end note: don't mind the errors i just want to get this out of my system, I'll edit it in the morning (hopefully)

Clouds obscure the glowing full moon, hiding the twinkling stars, masking the light with darkness, making the surrounding more gloomy and lifeless than they already were.

Your shaky, shallow breaths and the crunch of your footsteps on the leafy undergrowth are the only noises that filled the barren woods. During the daytime it was kept to the public, covered with yellow tapes that reads, ‘Do Not Cross’ — but when night comes to nigh, it's free to lurk around, it's free for your eyes to wander on. 

Each step you take, deeper into the heart of the forest and into the designated place you would always go to – your eyes caught the sight of blue ribbons tied around the trees. 

Aki – he was the one who put it there, saying that it's your landmark so you wouldn't get lost. 

He said it's because you have no sense of direction, often losing yourself at the mall or in any place you would go to. It's his way of looking out for you, he says.

Exhaustion is catching up on you, from the whole day you keep on working up to this point – your legs are already trembling, knees gradually giving up the longer you try to walk around.

No worries, it's only a matter of time til’ you see him again.

It's only a few meters, a few minutes til’ you see the person your heart constantly longs for.

Hayakawa Aki, the man who tied those blue ribbons in the tree, the man who would always lead you to the forest — he was the man your heart calls for every night, every day.

He's the man you see in your dreams and in the corner of your eyes, the owner of those blue eyes that you always find yourself drowning in.

Aki, the man your body, heart and soul always yearned for.

“Finally, I'm sorry it took me longer to arrive.” Your lips curved into a small smile, exhaustion long gone the second you arrived at your destination.

“Did I make you wait?” taking a deep breath, swallowing the lump that formed in your throat, you steal a glance at the man you fell for time and time again. 

He didn't change, he's still the same guy you saw the last time, though he's a little quieter than he was before, he's still the same guy you love.

“I've been doing well these past few days, are you proud of me?”

That's a lie.

“I gained weight and even finished my chores.”

And another.

Your head tells you to stop talking, to look at your companion and open your eyes to reality. The reality that he's dead — Aki’s dead.

But your heart tells you to hold on, keep breathing this cruel fantasy, keep fooling yourself that it's all but a dream — and the guy you love is still alive, still beside you and listening to your every word.

Your heart tells you to keep loving him, to continue loving him despite the way you lose yourself in the process. 

“I don't want this anymore Aki, what do I do?”

Talking to his grave or this made up tomb you made for him is futile. Your pleas and questions won't be answered—none of it would have a chance to be solved unless you accept the truth. 

The truth that he's not by your side anymore.

Leaning your head back, watching as the clouds disperse and let the moon glisten, a tear fell from your eyes.

“I miss you Aki, I wish you're here.”

#tw: spoilers #tw: character death #csm angst #csm imagines #csm x reader #csm scenarios #chainsaw man x reader #chainsaw man angst #chainsaw man drabbles #aki x reader #aki imagines #aki drabbles #aki angst #hayakawa aki imagines #hayakawa aki x reader #hayakawa aki angst #as I've said: don't mind the errors #I'm really sleepy so I don't wanna edit this smsksk #🌙. log out #mitsuyaya