#I'm honesyly glad it's happening this week at least when there's 2 protests around to go to and avoid home at least

[royalberryriku]

//vent

So I'm anxious and frustrated as fuck for several reasons, but at the top of the list right now is how my mum followed me around this morning and, over and over and over, kept bringing up the person I have told her, several freaking times now, makes me go into a complete panic and continually just kept not stopping with "oh I'm sure it'll be okay"s and other versions of trying to reassure me (or herself I think) that I'd be okay to let in said family member who traumatised me immensely as a child and just. As if me agreeing wasn't enough of a reason to just say what to do then just drop it, she just...doesn't stop bringing it up? Following me around, saying things to reassure more herself than anyone that this is Fine and I'm so Brave™ for this when really I just want her to stop bringing him up and making me more and more anxious each time she follows me around like she's lost and needs to make sure I'M okay when she's the one who's pushing her anxieties on me. The entire conversation was just "look it's gonna be fine" but really? We both know full well that I'm never actually fine with him around and just doing this because I have to, but instead of just letting me get this all over and done with, she needs to vent to me how SHE is anxious and feels guilty and remind me over and freaking over how everything is Actually Fine and Great, the way she usually does when she doesn't want me to say it isn't because then she'll just double down.

#vent #personal #god I'm so tired. #I'm honesyly glad it's happening this week at least when there's 2 protests around to go to and avoid home at least #I was fine before she said all this like I'd just mentally prepare and be numb but no #she needed to make herself feel better and less guilty #and it's so fucking infuriating that I can't just do what I'm told once and then be left alone she has to vent all her guilt too #And now im anxious frustrated and endlessly exhausted all over again fucking hell I just want to sleep #and just skip to next week